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Titanic: The Legend Goes On
- Her reaction to the rapping dog.Diva: Even if you ignore the fact that this is a rapping dog, in 1912, on the damn Titanic, it's still so random and absurd that it defies explanation.
- Dubbing many an Award-Bait Song over the movie's one.
- In the commentary track, Christi on the well-endowed singer:Diva: With those flotation devices in her chest, she probably survived the sinking. Seriously, some Italian animator was indulging himself!
Romeo and Juliet: Sealed with a Kiss
- Diva cheering when the annoying comic relief seemingly dies.
- While the seals are mourning Romeo and Juliet's "deaths", Twinkle Twinkle Little Star is used as a funeral dirge. Diva wonders what songs they went through before deciding on that.Diva: *singing mournfully* If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands...
From Justin to Kelly
- The Running Gag where Diva thinks the story is over, but no, it's just bad writing.
Repo! The Genetic Opera
- Diva's struggle to say Terrance Zdunich's name.Diva: And for Lucifer's sake, Terrance, buy yourself another vowel!
- Diva dubs in dialogue from another hologram lady when Blind Mag shows Shilo a hologram of her dead mother.Princess Leia: Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.
- When Nathan overhears Rotti's plan to make Shilo his heir:Nathan: [aside, facing the viewer] So Rotti thinks he can take Shilo...Shilo!Diva: Dad, are you breaking the fourth wall again?Nathan!Diva: Shh, go back to sleep, honey.
Jekyll and Hyde
- One of Diva's issues with Jekyll's plan to separate the good and evil halves of people is how many demons it would put out of a job.Diva: Not to mention all the hard-working demons who would be out of a job. Who's looking out for them, huh?! A lot of people are employed by the evil industry, Dr. Jekyll, and we don't need your nanny state policies making things worse for middle inferno!
- After Lucy comes to meet Jekyll for the second time:Lucy: Lucy Harris? I'm the one that you and your friend met that night.Jekyll: Oh... Yes. I, uh...Jekyll!Diva: I didn't recognize you with your clothes on. Uhh, I mean...
- Diva dubs in the dramatic chipmunk music when Lucy reveals her violent customer was named Hyde.
- At the end of Act I, after Hyde murders the bishop, Diva abruptly cuts to the intermission music from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
- During the critique of "Murder, Murder" Diva comments on the choreography.Diva: This bit looks like the Hell Community Theater Production of Mary Poppins. No, seriously, I would know, I was in the chorus. I had a lot of fun on that production.
- This little dig when Utterson confronts Hyde in Jekyll's lab.Hyde: What's the matter? You afraid of science, huh? You afraid of the truth?!Utterson!Diva: Of course I am, I'm a republican!
- Diva notes that Jekyll doesn't seem to have a problem with Hyde killing people Jekyll isn't attracted to.Hyde: *murders the bishop*Jekyll!Diva: He had it coming.Hyde: You really shouldn't wear your diamonds on the street! *grabs Lady Beaconsfield by the throat* You never know whom you may encounter.Jekyll!Diva: Oh, I never really liked her anyway.Hyde: Sympathy... *stabs Lucy* Tenderness...
- "I happen to like gospel music. What, just because I'm a hellspawn I must listen only to death metal and Justin Bieber?" Followed by a representative of Heaven profanely clearing Diva to do Joyful Music.
- Following all the cornpone dialogue:Like my brood mammy said: Don't tie a knot in my tail and say it's a horn polisher.
The Phantom of the Opera
- When she introduces Gerard Butler's performance of the Phantom, she has this to say:Diva: Sweet Lucifer! Is somebody torturing a buffalo with laryngitis out there?!
- In regards to why Carlotta was cast in the lead role: "The audience loves her. Their big patron loves her. The insane extortionist in the cellars loves her. So why not cast Christine and make everybody happy?"
- After Carlotta speaks in her "Italian" accent...
- When Raoul is about to stab Erik and Christine begs him not to, she parodies "You Make The Call". And later:Diva: Well, I wanted to just stab him in the graveyard but NO...
- Her reaction to the next item on her case list: The filmed performance of Love Never Dies:
Love Never Dies
- "The Beneath a Moonless Sky" parody. (full, as NSFW as it gets, lyrics)
- "Oh forget it. If I point out all of the ways this doesn't match up to the original, we'll be here until I need snow boots."
- Diva demonstrating how dated "The Beauty Underneath" is by playing it over a clip from a mid-80s David Copperfield show. As she notes, it fits right in.
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
- Diva is the first to admit that the film is an oddball on the CVs of its creators:Diva: Time for some word association. When I say Ian Fleming and Albert R. Broccoli, what do you think of?
[publicity photo of Sean Connery as James Bond]
Diva: Naturally. Now, what if I were to say Ian Fleming, Albert R. Broccoli, and crazy cars?
[poster for The Spy Who Loved Me]
Diva: Mmm, perhaps I need to be more specific. Ian Fleming, Albert R. Broccoli, crazy cars, and Dick Van Dyke. Oh, and Roald Dahl.
[close-up of someone smoking a joint]
Diva: Fair point, but I was aiming for our next offender, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
- Diva's horrified reaction to the Childcatcher, particularly his long prosthetic nose. Which leads to a Tempting Fate pile-up:Diva: UGHH! Seriously, mortals! Why do you put traumatising stuff like this into your children's movies all the time? Is it to keep therapists in business? [insert of the Far Side comic in which a patient is talking to a therapist who has written "Just plain nuts!" (triple underlined) on his pad] What's next? A scene of the Baron and Baroness' bedroom antics? [a scene showing exactly that starts playing] OHHH!... Well, at least they're not calling each other cutesy- [the Baron and Baroness begin singing "Chu-Chi Face"] I really need to learn to stop doing that...
The King and I
Sunday School Musical
- Diva suggests that reviewing the film might constitute a conflict of interest, but it's apparently "the other side" already has it on its "disavowed" list, which reads...
- The music is so bland that Mike Nelson's sad song starts being played on top of it.
- The choir's first demonstration has Diva begging for anything else. Cue "a video that makes Rebecca Black's Friday look like Lemonade".Eh, good enough.
The Pirate Movie
- Her reaction to the Pirate King's rather... fancy codpiece.
- "Who said, 'Hey, you know what this pirate adventure comedy needs? Singing fish that turn into The Rolling Stones logo!'"
- "Just roll the verdict before I turn this "Happy Ending" into the Fifth Circle!"
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
At Long Last Love
- Diva's constant annoyance at the boring characters, lack of conflict, and plagiarized moments.
- Diva can only manifest herself as toys and plush animals (though apparently she's better than "the guys in the second circle that... well, you'll never feel comfortable walking into a Fascinations store again"). So she's a plush horse. Even if means "wasting a perfectly good intro".
- "Is this a sin?" "For it to be a sin, I need to know what it is."
- "This makes me want to run naked across the killing fields of Cambodia!"
- "Ugh, it's like an entire chorus of Pierce Brosnans!"
- During the intro, Diva gets very personal, recalling when she was dumped for a "Second Circle tramp with perfectly-manicured hooves and huge horns that you know are fake".
- The credits have Diva saying musical sequels are the worst. Cue next episode: Shock Treatment.Jumping Beelzebub on a pogo stick!
The Ten Commandments
- The electronically-altered, droning voiceover used for God's voice inspires the complaint "That's not the Almighty, it's a Dalek!" Just to rub it in, the Emperor Dalek's "Do not blaspheme! Do not blaspheme!" is added to said voiceover.
- How Diva likens handling the faux-baby props in the opening sequence to passing around a football.She's at the thirty-five, FUMBLE at the thirty-yard line by Rivkah! Deshti picks it up but he gets a knife at the throat, but the babe is loose and is picked up by Elohim! He COULD! GO! ALL! THE! WAY!
- Diva compares Ramses and Moses's arguing over the fate of the Jews in the Plagues of Egypt sequence to Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck's Duck Season, Rabbit Season.
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
- Diva's extended wrath at "Wonderful Christmastime".Damn you, Paul McCartney! Damn you to here!
Can't Stop the Music
- A woman who looks like Tim Curry is dubbed over with Dr. Frank-N-Furter.
- A guy with fire batons describing himself as "flaming" earns the comment "no, that's too easy, even for me".
- "You can't stop the music!"Caption: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED
- The problems regarding Michael's dream recording studio:Hey boy, could you turn off the bloody fan?
Dry ice? *cough* Who ordered dry ice?
No, I'm not dangling from a wire, I'm trying to record an album, not play Peter fucking Pan! Fuck it, I'll go back and trash my hotel room.
Rock and Rule
- When the demon is summoned:Diva: Oh, this is so embarrassing... I used to date that guy.
- Describing Mok as "the mummified corpse of Angelina Jolie."
Rock of Ages
- Diva's cry of shock over Stacey Jaxx's very noticeable codpiece.
A Little Night Music
The Music Man
Happily Ever After
- In regards to The Realm of Doom.Diva: Why do villains choose such obviously evil names for their home turf? If I were an evil overlord, I'd call my realm Happy Fluffy Bunny Land just to confuse the heroes.
Paint Your Wagon
- "Lee Marvin does sound like a grumpy old man who's drunk all the time. The problem is, no one wants to hear that." Then she uses a clip of Christi on Jeopardy! to say his singing is monotonous.
- One of the songs makes Diva conclude on what inspired Clint Eastwood to do his empty chair bit in the 2012 GOP convention.
- Diva swooning whenever Harve Presnell, whom she proclaims as the movie's Saving Grace, opens his mouth to sing.
I Kissed a Vampire
- Diva showing up in the form of flames in a tablet.
- She announces that JessWorld shall be forced to review a musical with dramatic music and zoom-in... on the tablet.
- Frustrated by the Not What It Looks Like Third-Act Misunderstanding, Diva asks JessWorld to slap the tablet since she feels the need for a Face Palm but doesn't have claws to do it herself. He accidentally slaps it off the shelf it's sitting on.
- Diva and JessWorld question how Dylan is able to tell his para-psychologist about what Sarah was doing when he wasn't around to see it.Psychologist!Diva: So Dylan, what happened after you ran away from your sort-of girlfriend in a blind panic?Dylan!JessWorld: Well Sarah stayed behind and sang this terrible pop number while random strangers danced behind her for a few minutes. I think the song was about relationships or something, but the lyrics were pretty vague.Psychologist!Diva: How do you...Dylan!JessWorld: Don't question my vampire powers! They're mine...
- Diva's reaction to the literal Deus ex Machina finale, heralded by a gold Rolls-Royce descending from the skies."Lilith's tits!"
- Diva admits the movie is So Bad, It's Good and asks why there is no midnight movie following like Rocky Horror. In response, she's assigned to review The Swan Princess Christmas.Me and my big maw.
The Swan Princess Christmas
- "For obvious reasons, Hell doesn't celebrate Christmas. But there's always been a dark side for the holidays, ever since King Herod indulged in infanticide. Wonder why that tradition never caught on."
- Diva's reactions to the movie's lousy (nightmarish) animation.
- Sin #1: NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE
- While the camera is focused on Odette's mouth: "Hey, I can see my house from here!"
- Her response to hearing Number 9's want to be rewarded a set of new nine lives for helping Rothbart be brought back to life, along with putting up a picture of StarClan cats saying "Noo lifs. U cannot haz".Dude, I don't think StarClan's gonna okay that.
- Before changing the background to the one with the lady devil, Diva is really tempted to use a Hugh Jackman wallpaper instead.
- After Geppetto has an Anvilicious talk and song about fathers putting pressure on their sons with Lizardo, who mentions that his own father is going to be so disappointed in him:And that, children, was how Geppetto adopted a 28-year-old black man as his son.
- Diva deciding to dub lies of her own over Pinocchio's ("Gamergate was all about the ethics of gaming journalism!" "YouTube comments are a great source of insightful opinion!").
The Singing Detective
- Backstory Trauma Bingo.
Legends of Oz: Dorothy's Return
- The "crowd sourced recap" of The Legend of the Titanic.
- Being a 3th anniversary special, Diva ends the episode with a hilarious song about Musical Hell.
Musical Hell TV: Secret of Anastasia
- The tsarina has a peculiar pose in her portrait.Narrator: She was very beautiful-Diva: But she really needed the little tsarina's room.
- When Tuba scolds Cello and Accordion for quarreling:Tuba: All of you behave yourselves! We're a proper quartet, not some common street band!Diva: Yeah, act like dignified abominations of nature!
- Vladimir unknowingly negotiates with Tuba, believing he is talking to Anastasia even though she and Tuba sound nothing alike.Tuba: Tell you what: split the difference, twenty percent.Vladimir: Deal!Vladimir!Diva: And may I say, you have a lovely baritone.
- When the Empress Dowager refuses to believe that Anastasia is her granddaughter:Empress: He dressed you up, gave you words to parrot-Diva: Oh come on, you aren't being fair, she hasn't said one word about Polly wanting a cracker.
- Diva imitating a truck backing up when Anastasia backs out of a room.
- When Lancelot begs Arthur for forgiveness for getting in a fight with him in the forest:Lancelot: I beg your majesty to forgive me. Not because I deserve it, but because by forgiving me, I'll suffer more.Diva: Yup. Definitely a Catholic.
- Diva valiantly tries to avoid making Monty Python and the Holy Grail references, only for a overlong scene practically demand a "GET ON WITH IT!"
Walking On Sunshine
- "Next time I'm on surface leave, I'm gonna burst out singing at customs. See how long it takes for to get a cavity search." (showing up the book My First Cavity Search is a plus)
- The "WHO CARES" from Into the Woods is used with impeccable timing.
- Her thoughts on certain storytelling elements:Diva: And by the way, we all know the "It Was With You The Whole Time" thing is a standard Oz Aesop, but this movie is really Anvilicious about it. The characters go from, (scenes of the Tin Man) "OOOHH, if only I could have feelings!" (ding!) "Here! Let me cry my eyes out!" (scenes of the Cowardly Lion) "OOOHH, I'm such a coward!" (ding!) "Stand back. I will defeat the creepy subway, single-pawed!"
Home on the Range
- Diva's wrath goes on a whole new level once the Goofy Holler is wasted.
- When one character complains that he should have stayed in clown college, Diva agrees with him.
- "Wrong pun, that's definitely a broken foot! 15 yards..."
- After the first murder at the camp has occurred:Little girl: Isn't it wrong to sing and dance when someone just died?
Diva: [as Ned Stark] That's the only time a man can sing and dance, my child.
- Finding the Bond One-Liner lame, Diva outsources for better examples.
The Nutcracker: The Untold Story
- Diva can't even start the episode without other reviewers pressuring on her to review Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. And when she ends up not being very negative about the movie, they are disappointed.
- When Diva notes the movie wasn't as bad as the Disney knockoffs she usually reviews, she's promptly assigned The Princess and the Pea.
The Princess and the Pea
- Her thoughts during the anti-climatic climax.Diva: (laughs) I don't care how much dramatic music and thunder you put in. You are not going to make lying down for a nap look exciting.
- "'Priest in a hot tub' would be a great name for a band, or a cocktail!"
- "If you're blue and you don't know where to go to why don't you go anywhere but this... this movie is the pits!"
- The prince receives his own version of the Dead Parrot sketch.
- Diva ends up not giving the movie its punishments because of the many, many, many plot holes that the premise and the execution create, which lead to her finishing the review pointing all of them out and being cut off before she can read her sentence. (she later revealed what would happen to those responsible for... the next entry)
- Diva's reaction to the Totally Radical Two Decades Behind rap version of "Be Our Guest":Sin Card: DID YOU JUST
Scooby Doo: Music Of The Vampire
- Discussing how Velma somehow sets the Mystery Machine gang on vacation to a haunted festival, considering "You even sang an Opposition-Damned song about it!"
- "Stallone said working with Dolly Parton was the most fun he's ever had. Who makes the people who got some happiness out of this mess... one."
Christmas Is Here Again
A Troll In Central Park
- The intro, where Diva complains about getting another "Don Bluth Dork Age" so soon after the other. When it turns out to be a Patreon request, she proceeds to insult Christi.Diva: Patreon request!? Whose idea was it to set up that silly thing anyway?
Bailiff: [unintelligible chirping]
Diva: Oh, really. [muttering] Stupid high and mighty mortal, don't know where she gets off with her cheap editing software and her Jeopardy! money and her... [sighs] Okay, fine, let's just get this over with. [over a sped up version of the recording of Saint-Saëns' Danse macabre that usually opens the videos] Greetings mortals, yadda yadda yadda, I'm Diva, blah blah blah, our next offender, A Troll in Central Park.
- Halfway through tearing the film a new one, Diva realises that the plot - cheerful protagonist falls afoul of wicked queen and is banished to New York, has a few Fish out of Water moments, falls in with a couple of locals, and wins them over with charm and musical numbers, only for the queen to decide to go to New York herself to finish the job, leading to a final confrontation - has many similarities to that of Enchanted. So they're the same film, then? Well...Diva: Except... y'know, Enchanted had interesting and sympathetic characters, and a much better screenplay, and good songs, and an amusing tone that walked the line between affectionate tribute and Deconstruction and a ton of Shout Outs to the Disney canon, and fun Cameos, and Amy Adams, James Marsden, and Susan Sarandon and Timothy Spall and Idina Menzel, all of whom are amazing and talented people. Other than that, totally the same.
- Her befuddled reaction to Sin #7: On A Fucking Tricycle
- "George Lucas wanted to make this for little girls. You can practically see the ghost of Carrie Fisher giving him the middle finger."
- "I questioned my bailiff about this movie's interpretation of imps, and I quote..." And Diva proceeds to speak in the same manner the bailiff usually does, only Blowing a Raspberry by the end.
The Swan Princess: A Royal Family Tale
- The review starts with Diva beating herself and asking why this series continues.
Peter Pan Live
Portal 2: The Unauthorized Musical
- The episode introduces us to Donna, Diva's angelic counterpart from Musical Heaven, and then Diva appears with a hangover.Donna: Salutations and blessings upon thee, mortals, from the exalted and hallowed heights of Musical Heaven! I am your most gracious hostess, Donna, and it is my solemn duty to-
Diva: [woozily] Uhhhhhhhhhhhh...I thought the good Tequila wasn't supposed to give you a han...WHAT THE F-
Donna: Ah-ah-ah! Language, Diva, darling!
Diva: [testily] Donna, I am coming down from an extended drinking binge which, sadly, did absolutely nothing to eradicate the image of Christopher Walken fake tapdancing from my mind, so I'm only going to ask this once. What the here are you doing...here!?
- Diva having to deny having laughed at this (specially when one knows how much Christi complains about the joke's target):Wheatley: Most of your facts are spurious
Fact Core: They are ALTERNATIVE.
- "Well, the movie has Pete, and a dragon, and songs in it..."
Sci-Fi High: The Movie Musical
- Diva opens right away telling viewers You Can Turn Back, as not only this movie is really obscure (even highlighting the lack of Wikipedia and TV Tropes pages) but it's unbelievably bad. And she gives the warning again after a terrible scene makes her ask how long it's been on - a meager ten minutes!
- Again the thing is so screwed up the sin cards are terse ("Yeah, this happened", "Just...why?", "Ewwwwww", "I hate this scene...").
- During the dreadful "He said, she said" scene that Diva declares Sin #8 with the title card "I hate this scene...", we see just how much the film has broken her:Diva: Well, I finally know what Hell is like. Well - I mean, I've always known, because I live here, but I finally have an understanding of what you people go through when you first come down.
Beauty and the Beast: An Enchanted Christmas
- Right away, Diva says she won't review the movie without "emergency protocols" (a cocktail drink) and then 'dire emergency protocols' (a bottle of scotch).
- "The Beast's Iago..." Cue the Aladdin parrot. "Please show you have a smattering of education!" The Othello version then appears.
- "Yeah, that's a thing that happened."
- "[The Great Duke] spits Lucky Charms at Edmond to turn him into an animated kitten. Don't make me repeat that. The idiocy can break me."
The Hunchback of Notre Dame 2
- La Fidele first earns Drax saying "Metaphor" for its main quality, and then a rant on how the gold-lined bell is impractical.
- "Sarouche is so busy doing his Rafiki impression..."
MHTV: Beauty and The Beast
- "Everybody do the nightmare conga!"
- Beauty's father, who is about to freeze to death, sees a star that leads him to the Beast's castle.Father!Diva: It's Betlehem, I'm saved!
- The Running Gag on how the music doesn't stop. For example, when Beauty sets off to find her father:Sister: We'll perish! Beauty, we'll perish!
Beauty!Diva: Don't worry, there's food in the fridge and I put out fresh litter for the orchestra!
- After the ghosts inadvertently give Beauty the idea to give the Beast another chance, and she repeats their unintentional suggestions almost word for word:Ghost 1!Diva: Don't tell me she's going to strip naked and roll around in a tub of chocolate pudding!
Ghost 2!Diva: Frank!
Ghost 1!Diva: Hey, it was worth a shot.
- The Beast asks Beauty to marry him.Beast: You needn't worry. There is no wrong answer.
Beauty!Diva: Okay, uh... Pickle!
- Beauty asks the mirror where the handsome prince she saw in a portrait is, but the mirror shows her the image of her sick father instead.Beauty!Diva: Clearly my father ate the handsome prince!
The Secret of NIMH 2
- Diva cuts the "In song form!" clip because using she feels the movie doesn't deserve something taken from a better one.
- "Did Keith Moon die of overdose or overacting? *Collective Groan* Demon, people. Demon."
- Right away, Diva says that she's reviewing Descendants 2, so "stop pestering me!"
Phantom of the Paradise
- Donna returns despite Diva's best efforts to keep her from overhearing the name of the film being reviewed, and once the review proper gets going, Donna entertains herself by playing many opening intros over the film's one, leading Diva to ask "get your claws away from the panel!"
- The dispute regarding the Naked Gun clip.Diva: [as Winslow naively agrees to hand over his Faust rock cantata to Swan's record label] I'm doing the clip.
Donna: No, you are not doing the clip!
Diva: Yes, I am doing it-
Donna: [simultaneously with Diva] I mean it, do not touch that button, it is a ridiculous Running Gag and you do not need to resort to it one more time!
Diva: [simultaneously with Donna] -if ever there was a time we needed the clip, this is that time!
[the argument and sounds of a scuffle play over a screen reading "Technical Difficulties - Please Stand By"]
[static] [the mass Face Palm from The Naked Gun 33 1/3 plays]
Donna: [sarcastically] Well, do you feel better now?
Diva: A little, yes.
- Diva names the character of Beef the film's "Saving Grace", although Donna takes exception to her choice of words to explain why:Diva: Gerrit Graham is obviously enjoying himself immensely with this character, and even though Beef is pretty much a sassy, Camp Gay stereotype, the focus of the humour is not his sexuality so much as his prima donna attitude.
Donna: I beg your pardon!?
Diva: A figure of speech.
A Christmas Carol Live
- The underwhelming appearance of the Ghost of Christmas-Yet-To-Come leads to a bout of laughter.
The (Other) Phantom of the Opera
- The section detailing financier Al Hirschfield's weird life.
- After revealing Moncharmin is played by Darin De Paul, Diva takes any chance she can to insert Reinhardt dialogue into his scenes.
- "Danse Macabre" gets Diva happy, of course. But once it plays again, she trades it for the Star Wars cantina music.
- Diva fears saying she enjoyed the movie, knowing the next case is always worse when that happens. So when The Pebble and the Penguin shows up, she goes, the reaction is "Of fucking course!"
The Pebble and the Penguin
- When the defeat of antagonist Drake causes his lair to collapse, Diva quips, "Unfortunately, Drake was a load-bearing villain..."
Jem and the Holograms
- A dig on "internet-famous people" leads to a very loud "fuck you!"
- "That woman needs to go back to the 80s and watch a stranger danger video STAT!"
- "Not me, I am Groot!" "I am Iron Man!" "I, am, your singing telegram..."
- The last sin, with everyone screaming in unison at the wasted Misfits.
- The intro where Diva feels recharged after taking a month off... and then comes this as her next case.