Main Characters | Brad's Gang | The Warlords | Other Characters
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In General
- All There in the Manual: The artbook reveals a lot of details about your party that's only hinted at in the game proper at best, such as how Birdie Hall became an alcoholic and Carp's atoner nature.
- Ambiguous Situation:
- In the ending, you fight your current party members, who apparently want you to stay away from Buddy. However, they had no way of getting from the coast to Rando Land, given that, according to Tardy, the sea was too rocky for Shardy to cross, and that Buddy stole the new boat. Additionally, if you have less than three party members at the end of the game, the missing slot(s) will be replaced with the Illusion of Friends. This combined with the fact that Rando's army didn’t say a word about Brad betraying his companions could possibly suggest that the party members were merely a Joy-induced hallucination Brad was having before the showdown with the soldiers.
- Assuming that Brad did indeed kill his endgame party, what happened to the other party members in the end? It doesn’t help that Austin has stated that there was no canonical party.
- Anyone Can Die: With the obvious exception of Brad, any party member can be permakilled anytime, be it through a One-Hit Kill move, getting killed by a gang, or losing Russian Roulette.
- Flat Character: Most of the characters you can recruit have uncomplicated personalities that don't interfere with the main story.
- Heterosexual Life-Partners: With the exceptions of Queen and Crisp, your party appears to be this.
- Permadeath: If your party member is hit by a perma-kill attack, such as Fatal Chomp, then that's it. They'll die on the spot, and you can't bring them back.
- Permanently Missable Content: Several party members can be permanently unrecruitable if certain conditions are met.
- Failing to defend Factory Town from the Road Scholars (or not having any money on you) will result in the village being raided and everyone in it getting killed, including Mad Dog.
- Selling the TNT to the Matt and Pat expies outside of Bob's Dojo will end with Yazan, Jack, and Tiger Man getting blown up alongside the dojo.
- Taking two or more Joy will result in Ajeet flat-out refusing to join you. Thankfully, the scene where Buzzo force feeds you the drug doesn’t count.
- Completing the Eternal Championship (required to recruit Sonny) will get you kicked out of wrestling. Didn’t complete the Tag Team Championship? No Shocklord for you!
- Amusingly, you can sell Toby, the item/hostage required to recruit Crisp. Obviously, doing this before picking up Crisp will result in him being unable to be recruited.
- Ragtag Bunch of Misfits: A possible party could be a Manchild dressing as an Expy of Pink Ranger, a drag queen who loves bashing people's heads in, and a fish with legs and a gun who throws legal documents at his enemies.
- Trademark Favorite Food: The artbook reveals every party member's favorite food, with the exceptions of Geese and Buckets.
Terry Hintz
Terry Rupert Hintz
"I'm Terry Hintz, People Call me Lord of the Tutorial. I've been traveling the lands leaving my hints for all to see. I'm a pretty big deal. Got a lot of fans."
A strange freeloader and a self-described "hint-master," Terry joins Brad after being saved from Cheese Legs the dog. He has a variety of abilities, mostly healing and status attacks, and all but one of them are terrible.
- Action Survivor: Unlike most other party members, Terry is not at all combat capable.
- Adventure Duo: Terry starts off as the quirky sidekick to Brad's serious hero.
- Ambiguously Gay: Between how immediately he latches onto Brad, outright saying in certain situations that he loves him, and his somewhat effeminate manner of carrying himself, one might wonder.
- Apologetic Attacker: If Terry is present for the battle between Brad and his party, he clearly doesn't relish having to fight Brad.Terry: Maybe you don't feel the same way... but you're my best friend dude. It's just this... Brad, this is our future you're messing with... I'm sorry. We can't let you do this.
- Boisterous Weakling: Terry has a lot of confidence, but little actual fighting skills to back it up. He becomes a Boisterous Bruiser once he levels up a bit, especially once he unlocks the Hottest Dance.
- Bumbling Sidekick: He starts out as completely useless as a teammate, having no useful skills whatsoever with the game actively encouraging you to simply trade his life away.
- Butt-Monkey: Everybody and everything seems to want him dead.
- Character Development: Terry starts off as an extremely weak wannabe who pretends he's a heroic warrior. Not only does he become a formidable fighter if you level him up, but he also become a genuine hero during the final battle by putting his life on the line to protect Buddy.
- Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Downplayed. He never actually shows off how badass he is, but his support and offensive capabilities do improve, and he even gains some powerful skills in later levels.
- Dance Battler: His most powerful moves are the Hot Dance, and the Hottest Dance, which does the most (non-critical) damage out of every other move available. Even the game cannot decide how he is capable of doing this.
- Evil Former Friend: If you hand Terry over to Columbo, he joins Columbo's gang and comes back to kill you.
- Exposition Fairy: Parodied; He's a self-described "Hint Master" and is responsible for the various tutorial messages scattered across the land. He's also treated as largely useless and annoying when you first meet him, being incapable of dealing decent damage and having very weak and costly abilities.
- He's ultimately a Deconstruction of an Exposition Fairy. He's treated in-universe like how most players typically treat this type of character. However, like most exposition fairies, he ultimately means well and his nice traits are emphasized while they're typically ignored in most exposition fairies.
- The Ghost: A few of his signs appears in The Joyful to explain new mechanics and there's a hidden area themed after him that gives a Terry Hintz mask.
- Fire-Forged Friends: He is the first ally, and the most grateful of them all to be your friend, especially if you opt to lose your inventory to Columbo, and your arm to Buzzo."Thanks Brad. You're... You're a really good friend."
- Becomes a massive heartwarming and tear jerking moment once he comes to terms with facing Brad in battle for humanity's future.
- After being turned over to Columbo's gang, should you choose to do so, when he's seen again he seems to have become this for them, having earned his own fearsome nickname and willingly fighting you on their behalf, outright calling them his friends.
- Friendless Background: In The Joyful, it's implied that Terry crafted an entire village filled with scarecrows and began leaving hints everywhere to fill his void of utter loneliness.
- Glass Cannon: Becomes this when he learns The Hottest Dance. He can deal tons of damage, but still has a very low health pool.
- Healer Signs On Early: He starts off with rather weak healing abilities.
- Heroic Sacrifice: If Terry is present at the final battle, he reluctantly puts his love for Brad aside to protect Buddy. He seems to be aware that this will end in his death but he faces it with dignity and clarity.
- I Just Want to Have Friends: In Joyful it's revealed that Terry was desperately wanting friends, even writing "I don't even know anymore. I need a real friend.." His campfire conversation with Brad in area 3 expands upon this, showing that he feels like the only person he can be himself around is Brad and considers him his greatest friend.
- Lethal Joke Character: He's essentially the weakest character in all categories, a thorough Master of None. However, once he starts to level up, his support skills are very useful if you know how to use them and he eventually gets the most powerful attack in the game bar none.
- Least Is First: Brad's first companion is by far the weakest and most pathetic.
- Littlest Cancer Patient: What he used to be, according to Word of God
. He had been a lonely, sick child. Having no supporters, he overcame his illness by becoming his own cheerleader. - Magikarp Power: Terry's final move is one of the strongest in the game and can turn him into a Lethal Joke Character. Even before that point, some of the skills he unlocks as he levels up are more useful than you would think. Hype-Up is guaranteed to give party members the "Rage" buff (which is extremely potent if they attack multiple times in one turn) and Weather Report has a high chance to inflict enemies with the "Fallen" debuff, leaving them stunned for a couple turns.
- If anything, Terry starts getting useful before the tutorial is over. Verbal Bash is a move you get early on that has the potential to inflict the "Crying" and "Pissed" status effects on enemies. The former makes enemy attacks less accurate and the latter causes enemies to sometimes hit themselves while preventing them from using their regular moves (this comes in handy with joy mutants, as it locks out dreaded one-hit-kill moves). For all of Terry's shortcomings, Verbal Bash provides a lot of utility early on.
- Terry also unique in Brad's Gang in that all of his stats increase exponentially rather than linearly, meaning that he'll be improving much faster at level 20 than level 1. Also helps that he learns the Hottest Dance (does a lot of normal damage, on top of inducing fire), and the final cheer (which almost fully heals an ally, but has a chance to induce crying).
- Mayor of a Ghost Town: The Joyful reveals that he created a village devoted to worshiping himself populated by scarecrows as an attempt at dealing with his loneliness. It's filled with various hints about basic etiquette before shifting into tips on how to deal with depression and finally frustrated scrawls marred by tears.
- Miles Gloriosus: He claims to be a powerful warrior, but his combat skills are pitiful. Justified in that he pulls a hamstring. He can make up for it with some moves that makes him more viable as an offensive character, if you're willing to part with some SP. This trope is arguably subverted if you keep Terry in your party for long enough that he stops being a phony.
- Nice Guy: Sure, he can talk himself up a lot more than he deserves, and he sort of pushes himself into Brad's group, but you'd be hard-pressed to find a kinder and more trustworthy friend in a dismal place like Olathe.
- Playing with Fire: His most powerful attacks are the Hot and Hottest Dances. Additionally, his Knuckle Drop attacks all have an explosion effect.
- Sad Clown: He's a depressed, lonely man who masks his sadness with humor.
- Small Name, Big Ego: Seems to think people value his hints a lot more than they do. This is all an act, though. He's miserable and has an extremely low opinion of himself, clinging to anything that makes himself feel valuable.
- Stepford Smiler: Despite his boasting, he eventually admits that he felt worthless until he met Brad. This is even more evident in his fake village in The Joyful. The fact that you first find him standing right next to a tall cliff could be taken as evidence that he was contemplating suicide before Brad awoke from his bender.
- Troubled Fetal Position: His pose in the artbook, with a rather neutral expression. Played moreso for sadness (with an appropriately sad expression) if he's present when you have to battle your party, as he feels the most reluctant to fight as he sees Brad as his best friend.
- Video Game Cruelty Punishment: Giving him over to Columbo leads to him getting vengeance as one of the hardest bosses in the game.
Nern Guan
Nern Xiao Guan
"Oh hello there! My name is Nern. I'm considered the greatest historian of our time. I've gathered a wealth of knowledge about Olathe and what happened... Many tales... Would you like to hear?"
An old man who used to be a librarian before the flash. He loves to tell long stories about nothing. He joins Brad if you listen to his entire rambling tale. His stories allow him to inflict various status ailments and heal party members, along with some Ki Manipulation.
- Apologetic Attacker: One of the few party members that will feel bad when attacking Brad at the end.
- Aw, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: Come the Definitive Edition, he reveals during his campfire scene that despite how poorly he talks of his wife, he loved her for how patient she was with him- and how she loved extreme couponing almost as much as he did. He recalls falling for her when he snipped at her during a couponing trip, after he'd had a bad day and she responded by ignoring his rudeness and offering him a pair of scissors to clip coupons with, then says she was special to him because she put up with how mean he could get.
- Boring, but Practical: Perhaps fitting for his personality. He's not as flashy or impressive on paper as later party members, but he has a wide array of reliable status inflictions, decent healing and SP restoration, a few strong attacks, and a weapon type for which upgrades consistently appear throughout the game, being the only character besides the hard to get Buckets who can use them. His status moves in particular are this for the later game because of how many of them can lock enemies out of using their One-Hit Kill moves.
- Comically Missing the Point: If his life is at stake and you choose to sacrifice your arm, he will react by saying this:"Just in time! I remembered a great story!"
- Crutch Character: ...Sort of. He’s a great party member in the early game due to his wide range of abilities, but he later faces competition from the likes of Fly Minetti, Birdie Hall, Bo Wyatt, and Ajeet Mandeep. However, unlike Fly or Ajeet, he has healing abilities, and he has greater offensive prowess than Birdie or Bo. If the player wants, then he can still hold his own right up until the endgame.
- Finger Poke of Doom: Some of his powers include shooting finger beams. Think of him as an early version of Ajeet with support abilities.
- Foreshadowing: During his stories in his campfire scene, he will mention a Polka-Dot Man that Rodney saw during his sleepover at Rodney's home as a child.
- Green-Eyed Monster: A lot of his rants are about how he's frustrated with jealousy over one thing or another.
- Healer Signs On Early: Many of his skills are recovery-related.
- Heart Is an Awesome Power: Has the ability to inflict Pissed on anyone vulnerable to the status ailment with 100% certainty. This is already useful in helping diminish the threat of difficult fights, but it is indispensable in preventing the Marty superboss from using its permakill moves.
- Hidden Depths: Nern has a genuine interest in coupons and efficient ways of collecting them. The only time in the game he'll talk well of his wife is when he recalls her also having an interest in them, which is why they married in the first place.
- Hypocritical Humor: Frequently accuses Brad Armstrong of talking too much and being too distracting, often at the end of one of Nern's iconic monologues.
- Jack of All Stats: Restoration techniques, status inflicting, offensive skills, and alright offense mean that he can do just about anything you need him to competently.
- Never Speak Ill of the Dead: When he mentions his late wife, but zigzagged in that Nern will still speak badly of her, not to mention regularly curse his dead neighbors. His battle quotes, however, plays this straight.
- O.O.C. Is Serious Business: If Nern is in your party when you go to the final battle, he despondently reveals that he's speechless at what Brad is trying to do. Despite being a silly, self-absorbed comic relief character for most of the game, the gravity of the situation isn't lost on him."For the first time I'm speechless... Brad my boy... This is history and it's for the best."
- Old Windbag: Nern is a self-proclaimed master historian, but the only stories he tells anyone are boring, incoherent anecdotes about his long-dead wife and neighbors.
- Overly Long Gag:
- Letting it play out is how you recruit him. He will tell you not one, not two, but THREE extremely long, pointless, rambling anecdotes that don't expand the world in any meaningful way and merely fill you in on his pitiful backstory, his horse of a wife (God rest her soul) and his Sitcom Arch-Nemesis Dale Spooner.
- He gets a new one during his Campfire Character Exploration in the Definitive Edition. He wakes up Brad in the middle of the night and starts babbling about collecting newspapers and other stream-of-consciousness thoughts of his. The game fakes you out thinking that he's going to shut up not one, not two, not even three, but four times before he finally falls asleep again. Brad wakes up in the morning not feeling well rested, and doesn't regain any of his HP or SP from resting.
- Quirky Bard: His abilities come in the form of rambling at the target, which provides a variety of different status effects.
- Rambling Old Man Monologue: His techniques are all various rambling stories that have different effects.
- Shout-Out: Nern's name as well as the names of his long-dead neighbors are a reference to the kung fu flick Fight Among the Supers.
- Trademark Favorite Food: Subverted with sweet lemon tea. He repeatedly mentions it throughout his story, and his enemy drop quote is "Sweet lemon tea!". However, according to the artbook, his actual favorite food is whipped cream.
- Verbal Tic: Has a habit of adding "God rest her soul" whenever he mentions his late wife, even if he's speaking poorly of her.
Rooster Coleman
Rooster Dean Coleman
"Leave. Take your pervert war elsewhere. I want no part in this."
A simple farmer who loves chickens more than people. He joins Brad if you hold his prized hen "Goldie" hostage. His attacks are all rooster and chicken themed and a few of them can target multiple enemies.
- Animal Motifs: Of a rooster, obviously.
- Anime Hair: His red comb is apparently his hair.
- Defrosting Ice Queen: Recruiting him requires holding Goldie hostage, so naturally, he doesn't like you. If his life gets threatened by Buzzo, and you opt to having your arm cut off, he'll give a reluctant thanks. Also, one of his victory lines has him coyly admitting that he's beginning to like the other party members.
- Fiery Redhead: Has red, comb shaped hair and a subdued rage at most things that aren't chickens.
- Heroes Fight Barehanded: Fights only with his fists and Cock Blasts.
- I Have Your Loved One: Recruiting him requires Brad to hold Goldie hostage in order to force him to join.
- Jumped at the Call: At the end, now that he's involved with the war, he is willing to save Buddy from Brad to preserve humanity's future.
- Introverted Cat Person: Or chicken-person. Rooster doesn't really have any goals or interests besides raising his beloved chickens, enough that he'll travel the country with people he hates just to ensure his prized hen is safe.
- Pet the Dog: You could hold his hen Goldie hostage and force him to join you… or you can merely demand payment. Doing the latter has him gratefully say “Oh thank god.” and immediately slap 100 mags in your hands. He won’t join you if you do this.
- Punny Name: Rooster, complete with a slap ability.*
- Refusal of the Call: Rooster will initially refuse to join you, considering everyone looking for Buddy to be perverts and wanting nothing to do with them.
- Sour Supporter: He doesn't like or want to help Brad but can be blackmailed into joining. Regardless, he's a pretty powerful character.
Percy Monsoon
Percy Pete Monsoon
"Okay Percy... Nobody's watching, it's okay... Time to make a movement. Just remember what Dad taught you. ... Choo-choo! Here comes the train! Chugga, chugga chugga... Oh? Teehee! What's that lil' tickle? What's goin' on back there? DEAR GOD! KILL IT!!!! EEEEEEH!"
A pushover with IBS who used to be a Children's Tee Ball Coach. He joins Brad after Brad saves him from a spider attack while he's using the bathroom. He has a variety of attacks, including fireballs and healing, although he's not exceptionally powerful.
- Baldness Angst: One of his win quotes is "I wish I had hair..."
- Butt-Monkey: His bio in the artbook is two words: "Who cares." Even in his campfire conversation with Ollie and Fardy (who are both also joke characters and arguably more useless than even Percy) he can't get a word in edgewise and the two call him annoying and end up doing donuts around him while he tries to use the bathroom.
- Master of None: While he has some utility as a party member, his versatility isn't in places where it counts, so ultimately he's just sort of mediocre but usable in every category. He's pretty much tailor-made to be a filler character.
- Potty Emergency: Joins you after a "destiny deciding bowel movement." His campfire conversation implies that it's a frequent problem for him.
- Plumber's Crack: Percy has a permanent one.
- The Red Mage: Like Nern, he has a combination of skill types, his being fire-type moves, healing, and physical attacks. All of these aren't particularly varied, though, and he lacks the ability to inflict any statuses besides potentially burning.
- Ridiculously Average Guy: Aside from his questionable pooping ritual, Percy seems to be a perfectly normal guy. His stats and abilities are also balanced with no particular strengths, but decent cover in all areas.
- Self-Deprecation: His level-up quote is "Can a man so lame even level up?"
- Suspicious Video-Game Generosity: An interesting case, as he's not overly useful, but he does join you before two gameplay segments where it's possible to lose multiple party members.
Mad Dog
Mad Dog
"Hi. I'm Mad Dog. That spiked club you have belongs to me. May I have it back?"
A barbarian with a nipple-patch who killed his son, Mad Dog Jr., because he wasn't worthy enough of passing on the Mad Dog name. He joins you after Brad brings him his weapon back. He hits hard, and that's about it.
- Abusive Parents: He killed his own son because he didn't find him worthy enough. If his campfire conversation is to be believed, his family has been perpetuating this cycle for a long time.
- Apologetic Attacker: Despite his apparent lack of emotion, it's revealed that he genuinely likes and respects Brad if he's present at the final battle. For once in his life, he doesn't want to use violence. As such, he sometimes wastes turns crying.
- The Big Guy: A huge man with mainly damage dealing moves, only Ajeet stands taller then him.
- Carry a Big Stick: His main weapon is a spiked club. Recruiting him requires you to find it for him.
- Dumb Muscle: He's a very strong fighter, but that's about all he brings to the table. His battle quotes make it clear that there's not much going on upstairs.
- Mighty Glacier: His speed is among the worst, but his offense and defense are impressive, and one of his starting abilities is one that both jacks up his TP and turns enemy attention onto him to boot.
- Nightmare Face: His Spider Thrall form is quite creepy. His head is heavily wrinkled, sports a grotesque smile with More Teeth than the Osmond Family, and the eyes are wide open.
- No Mouth: See that line near his nose? That's his mustache.
- Noodle Incident: To quote from the description of the nipple-patch item, "Who loses a nipple?"
- Offing the Offspring: You can find a spiked club embedded in a corpse marked Mad Dog Jr. His win comments imply that he was responsible for it.
- Playing with Fire: Can use fireballs in combat and is one of the very few characters who can.
- The Stoic: He's extremely placid to an unsettling degree. Averted at the end if he's in Brad's party, as he's one of the few party members who wastes turns crying.
- Shifting Voice of Madness: Mad Dog's campfire scene shows that Mad Dog is not right in the head at all. If even a tiny bit of his insane ramblings were true then his life has been a complete nightmare from day one.
Fardy Hernandez
Fardy Weslie Hernandez
"Please... I don't want to do this. Look at me! I'm not a woman at all! I have a mustache! I'm just a truck driver!"
A depressed trucker robbed of his masculinity, he joins Brad when you save him from The Men's Hair Club. His attacks can hit multiple enemies, but his hit rate is fairly low.
- Car Fu: As a trucker, he can incorporate said truck into his attacks.
- Double Standard: Rape, Male on Male: He has been mistaken as a woman, and as such, he is a victim of rape by numerous other men of Olathe. While it is horrible, it's also painted in a somewhat humorous light given the situation.
- Dude in Distress: Brad finds him trussed up and being sexually abused in a case of mistaken identity, and can decide whether or not to free him.
- The Eeyore: Fardy has an extreme case of self-loathing and frequently acquires the depressed status effect, hindering his combat abilities.
- If you choose to spare him and sacrifice your arm, he will say that you should have just let him die.
- The Friend Nobody Likes: The official website outright describes him as "habitually hated among his peers."
- It's Personal: The only reason he would want to kill Brad is because he killed Tardy, even if he totally deserved it.
- Joke Character: A shirtless guy with poor stats and a silly name who's also one of the least useful party members, flat out. He's permanently depressed and has two abilities, one of which is an extremely inaccurate attack at various levels, one of which is crying and making his attacks even less accurate.
- Unskilled, but Strong: Aside from crying to restore SP, his only special skills involve hitting people with his truck. This does a lot of damage, but goes from somewhat unreliable to really inaccurate the stronger it gets, on top of being an SP sapper. He's either a weaker, less reliable Shocklord, or a less versatile, less reliable Fly Minetti, depending on what you value in his truck slams.
- Walking Shirtless Scene: He's not exactly unique given the setting, but the artbook confirms that he never wore a shirt even before the world ended.
Rage Ironhead
Rage Ironhead
"Yoooo! What's happenin' my man?! You gotta couple mags for me? I'll run with your pack, brother!"
Founder of Ironhead Lucha Libre, he's a high-flying Luchador Hero. He joins the gang for a price of 70 mags. He hits hard with the headbutt moves, but lacks support skills.
- Addled Addict: The Definitive Edition now causes him to suffer from Joy Withdrawal, which hurts him pretty badly.
- Apologetic Attacker: Despite claiming that he only tagged along for a shot at Buddy, he'll often cry and waste turns if he's one of the characters you're forced to fight at the end of the game. This is a major hint that he intentionally tried to rile up Brad in order to goad him into a fight.
- Glass Cannon: Rage has decent Agility and can dish out a lot of damage when the situation calls for it, though his Defense leaves a lot to be desired.
- Masked Luchador: He styles himself as a luchador and never takes off his mask.
- Nerf: As of the Definitive Edition, Rage is now susceptible to Joy Withdrawal.
- Only in It for the Money: Rage joins Brad's gang for 80 porn magazines. If he's there for the final battle, he also reveals that he wants a taste of Buddy as well, though this may simply be a coping mechanism given his actions otherwise.
- Use Your Head: As his name implies, Rage's offense is headbutt-based.
Olan Hoyt
Olan Dan Hoyt
"I have little interest in scandalous magazines. I'm just looking for a stiff drink and good memories."
A former vacuum salesman who neglected his family to drink in bars and shoot targets with his bow in his garage. He joins the gang if Brad buys him a drink and talks with him. His arrows can inflict multiple ailments and hit multiple times. He is one of a handful that is TP based, which is handy considering how useful his attacks are for a beginner.
- Addled Addict: In the Definitive Edition, Olan can confess to Brad that being The Alcoholic is starting to affect his aim with a bow, and he's worried about becoming a burden. Brad then suggests that Olan take Joy instead. This unfortunately makes Olan even more addled than a regular user under Joy Withdrawal, and will turn him into a Joy Mutant the next time the gang rests.
- Apologetic Attacker: Will cry while he's attacking Brad during the final battle.
- The Alcoholic: Most of his dialogue revolves around his love of alcohol. His second campfire chat with Brad implies that he doesn't think of himself as having an addiction.Olan: The alcohol was NEVER a problem. I don't have problems, Brado.
- Alcoholic Parent: Before the Flash, he would often neglect his family and spend his time getting drunk in bars. His alcoholism still persists long after the day his family died.
- And Then John Was a Zombie: In the Definitive Edition, unless it's a Joyless run, a potential campfire scene has Brad offer Olan Joy to replace his alcoholism. The next time a campfire is used, Olan is notably addled, calling Brad "Dad" and reminiscing about the two daughters and ex-wife he neglected; in the morning, he's left the party, and can be found as an unreachable Joy Mutant on the roof of the bar where he joined.
- Boring, but Practical: His Rapid Arrow moves, which just shoots three arrows in a row. He will also get an upgraded version that shoots six. While not as flashy as bomb arrows or big shot, it is much better to use because of the higher damage output, and it's just a regular attack used multiple times, made better if you get better bows later.
- Cold Sniper: He's a really levelheaded, stoic fellow who handles a bow skillfully. However...
- Friendly Sniper: He’s still a rather nice man who genuinely seems to like being around Brad.
- Hidden in Plain Sight: While not obvious, he has the ability to hide. Enemies will still attack him, but hiding significantly increases the chances of those attacks missing.
- Lightning Bruiser: Has great stats overall, enabling him to tank effectively, keep up with the other party members and dish out lots of damage.
- Multishot: One of his more powerful moves is firing three arrows in quick succession.
- Nice Guy:
- All he asks is for a drink and to get to know you. Afterward, he decides to join Brad because he may need a companion.
- Choosing to sacrifice your arm for him has him say this to you:
"Jesus boy... I need a drink. Thanks for the save..." - Parental Neglect: His second campfire chat reveals that this is why he's The Alcoholic. Even though he deeply cherished his wife and two daughters, he believed that they didn't need him and could rely on themselves (or has retroactively convinced himself of that fact to justify his actions)."I was a stranger in my home. Even when I was there, I wasn't really there."
- Poisoned Weapons: Can learn to fire poison-inflicting arrows.
- Sole Survivor: Similar to Bo below, he can survive the game without dying from either a Permadeath inducing attack or Brad’s hands. Unfortunately it’s only technically him surviving, as this involves him turning into a Joy Mutant.
Beastborn
Beastborn
"...?"
A man who was raised by wild animals and can speak to them, he joins the gang after Brad beats him in a fight. He can summon animals to attack and cause status ailments. He is one of a handful that is TP based.
- Apologetic Attacker: By the time of the final battle, he seems to understand what Brad is doing is wrong in some way. He is programmed to waste turns by crying.
- The Beastmaster: Most of his attacks involve unleashing or even chucking his woodland friends at enemies.
- Grievous Harm with a Body: A number of his attacks have him throwing or hitting people with deer. A few of their descriptions question whether or not this is animal abuse.
- I Fight for the Strongest Side!: Joins the gang after getting beat up by them.
- Mountain Man: He seems to have lived in seclusion in the mountains with only the wildlife as his company.
- No Animals Were Harmed: Some of his attacks will lampshade the implicit animal cruelty of using wildlife as weapons to kill people with.
- Poisonous Person: His Bite attack has a chance of poisoning, apparently due to his nonexistent hygiene.
- Raised by Wolves: He was brought up by animals.
- Speaks Fluent Animal: He can communicate with wildlife and utilize them in combat.
Buckets
Buckets
"..."
A silent, enigmatic vagabond who likes to gamble, he watches Brad from atop the Russian Roulette warehouse. He joins after you kill all the roulette players. He dual wields a pair of revolvers and uses gun tricks in battle.
- Addled Addict: Like Brad, he suffers from Joy Withdrawal every now and then, although this doesn't affect his special attack power.
- Bizarre and Improbable Ballistics: Several of Buckets' attacks involve shooting an enemy through a tossed coin.
- Bucket Helmet: Wears a bucket that conceals his face and has a single hole to see out of.
- Coin-Targeting Trickshot: His Heads Or Tails ability allows him to fire off one of these, hitting both the coin he tosses and his target. He also has several other coin-related tricks in his arsenal of moves.
- Dance Battler: Several of Buckets' attacks involve dancing in rhythm to his gunfire.
- Disc-One Nuke: If you take the time to try to recruit him, he has a really high damage output right out the gate, making fights in area 2 considerably less difficult, even on pain mode.
- The Faceless: He never takes off his trademark bucket.
- The Gambling Addict: During his campfire scene he runs off as everyone’s asleep to go gamble (or participate, the screen’s black the whole time) on Russian Roulette. He loses some of your money before rushing back to the gang, though if you’re lucky he comes back with more mags.
- Guns Akimbo: He's the only character in the game with two weapon slots, both for pistols.
- Gun Fu: Buckets' fighting style is, well, flamboyant, with coin flipping, gun tricks, and dancing.
- Gun Nut: Buckets' defining character trait, since he won't/can't say much.
- The Gunslinger: A Woo/Vaporizer hybrid. Lots of Buckets' attacks involve doing a bunch of trickshots very rapidly, usually involving unloading one or both of his revolvers and sometimes involving tossing a coin or acrobatics.
- The Quiet One: He never speaks, except at the very last confrontation with Brad where he just says "...The girl is ours."
- Trigger-Happy: Aside from being the game's only dual-wielder, his attacks have names like "Bullet Ballet" and "Bullet Tornado"
- Secret Character: While the game has many gang members that are off the beaten path, Buckets may be the costliest to get - you have to win every single game of Russian Roulette in the warehouse. Unless you're save scumming, this will usually cost you a lot of your other gang members.
Dick Dickson
Dick Richard Dickson
"I'm like... a party swan, and dude... I gotta soar, man."
A middle-aged, partying Salvation Ranger who's more interested in drugs and booze than fighting evil, he joins Brad after becoming fed up of the other Rangers. He fights with extreme martial arts and can also buff the gang with "Party Mode".
- Addled Addict: Like Brad, he suffers from Joy Withdrawal, which hinders his attack power and accuracy. Thankfully, his support skills are still useful.
- The Alcoholic: His introduction is him refusing to fight evil because of a hangover.
- Alliterative Name: Dick Dickson.
- A Dick in Name: He's not outright malicious, but he is an irresponsible freeloader who dumps his friends because they were mad at him for shirking their LARP sessions to party.
- Jumped at the Call: In the end, he finally starts acting heroic and jumps at fighting Brad, finding him to be selfish and mad.
- He does not wear his signature mask while fighting Brad. He could have just forgotten it like earlier in the game, but then he's wearing his Shawl of Justice...
- Manchild: An atypical example, but how else do you describe a 40-something who dresses as a sentai ranger and loves to party?
- Repetitive Name: When you account for the fact that his middle name, Richard, can also be shortened to "Dick", this man's full name is "Dick Dick Dickson".
- Sole Survivor: He survives the destruction of the Salvation Rangers. Averted if you get him killed before the rest of his team's deaths, and subverted if you get him killed afterwards, and in either case the NPC Green Ranger, Tooley, ends up fitting this.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here: After being nagged at by Salvation Red for his lack of commitment to the Rangers, he later abandons them to join Brad, thinking he'll be able to party more often.
- The Stoner: His slacker personality and drug use is played for laughs in his moments with the Salvation team.
Geese Thompson
Barry "Geese" Thompson
"Being humane, brings nothing but pain."
A serial killer who used to be a school teacher, he wears a goose-head mask and speaks only in rhymes, he lives in the inn. He joins Brad after staying in the inn enough times and talking to him. He's the only party member with pure animal-type attacks.
- Affably Evil: He may be a rhyme-obsessed serial killer, but he's still one of the friendlier party members. Recruiting him is just a matter of talking to him a bunch, even.
- Attention Whore: According to the artbook, he likes it when others view him as cool, and hates not being the center of attention.
- Because You Were Nice to Me: Talk to him each time you stay at the Inn in Area 2, and he'll join you just for putting up with him.
- In the end scene, his rhymes seem to imply that he prefers if Brad ran away, seeming as if he doesn't want to fight him at first.
- Bird People: Subverted. He's just wearing a mask.
- Calling Card: During his days as a Serial Killer, he tried to leave rhymes about his true identity next to his victims. Due to his uncreativeness and simple-mindedness however, none of them made any sense and only served to confuse cops even further.
- Expy: A rhyming goose-man... Choose Goose, anyone?
- The Faceless: The geese head is apparently a mask, which he never takes off.
- Improbable Weapon User: He pecks people to death with the plastic beak on his mask.
- Limited Animation: Thanks to his fighting style consistenting of him falling on people, Geese holds the honor of having the least amount of sprites at a grand total of six.
- Only Known by Their Nickname: The artbook reveals "Geese" is a pseudonym, and his real name is Barry.
- Rhymes on a Dime: All of his quotes involve rhymes.
- Serial Killer: As revealed in the art book. Camping with him in your party in the remake will have him occasionally run off and kill someone, coming back with his mask coated in blood and some jerky.
Carp
Carp
"..."
A man in a fish mask who defends Olathe's orphans, he joins you if you give him green paste from the Lair of the Fishmen. His knife attacks can hit multiple times.
- The Atoner: Used to be one before the White Flash, helping out Olathian orphans.
- Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": He's just Carp.
- Fish People: Subverted. According to the Artbook, he's actually just a guy wearing a fish mask. Although he does communicate in the same language as the actual fish people.
- Friend to All Children: He takes care of Olathian orphans for a time, but he chooses to abandon them because he doesn't want to give them false hope.
- Functional Addict: Despite suffering from Joy Withdrawal every now and then, he still retains good attack power, has awesome agility to start with, and his Fever River skills are incredibly useful.
- Guide Dang It!:
- Recruiting him requires finding the hidden Fish Village, buying Green Paste, and then returning to him where he immediately eats the paste and forces himself into your party.
- Getting him the best weapon he can equip is trial and error. Turns out his best weapon in the game is the Rusty Knife, obtainable as early as Brad's house. If you do end up getting it to him though...
- Nice Guy: According to his bio, he is a reformed criminal who adores children. It's implied that he faces you in the end because you are a threat to Buddy, a child who is humanity's last hope.
- During the final battle, he cries while fighting Brad.
- Tastes Like Friendship: You recruit him by giving him Green Paste, the only food eaten by actual Fishmen.
- Tattooed Crook: Has gang tattoos on his chest.
- The Quiet One: Like Buckets, he speaks only in ellipses. He may know how to speak the language of the fish people, which hilariously enough, Harvey Alibastor (an actual fish person) would not understand what he may had said.
Queen Roger
Queen Dianne Roger
"Well, it's simple really. Just make the client happy. Most of these guys don't even know what they want... They just come here to cry and bullshit. Buncha mama's boy pussywillows. There's a lot of lonely men out there looking for intimacy. But the majority of them are too scared to reclaim it."
A drag queen who used to be a lounge singer, he's leader of the Bees. He joins Brad after Brad volunteers his services. He hits hard, and his Extort skill causes enemies to drop more money.
- Addled Addict: Despite all his badassery, he suffers from Joy Withdrawal, and is really bad about it. Not only does his attack power tank below, he misses a lot more frequently. Once he's on Joy, he's one of the deadliest allies to have.
- All Gays are Promiscuous: Queen is by far the most sexually provocative of Brad's potential party members, even telling Brad that he thinks he's cute (for reasons he can't really explain) and that he was staring at Brad's man-boobs.
- The Anti-Nihilist: His campfire chat reveals that despite his tough exterior, he believes that a person can either be consumed by their own negativity or live in the moment with someone they love, and believes Brad is doing the former. He has no idea how right he is.Queen: These men out here. All this strength. This power, your respect...you can't take it with you when you die. It won't save you. It doesn't matter how powerful you are. No ideas matter, no experience matters. None of that shit that's consumed you your whole life matters. You're completely naked in the face of death. It's terrifying. Now, a good hug, that matters. Honestly, it ain't gonna change much...dead is dead. But the way I see it, you can die afraid. Lost in your own mind. Haunted by the guilt of all your mistakes. Tormenting nightmares wondering what comes next. Or...you can be in the moment with someone you love. Someone that makes you feel like nothing else matters. Nothing could be more important than feeling each other's warmth and love. No thinking. Just feeling.
- Badass Boast: He delivers a rather poignant one during his introductory scene."Putting on panties didn't make my balls disappear."
- Batter Up!: His weapon of choice is a metal bat, as shown by his in-game sprite; though, you can equip him with other kinds of weapons.
- Blood Knight: He seems a bit too enthusiastic about dealing pain to those that deserve it. The official website even says that he killed people before the end of the world.
- Gayngst: He was ostracized as a child because of his effeminate tendencies. In turn, this tempered his character, turning him into the no-nonsense badass he's today.
- Hooker with a Heart of Gold: Despite his addiction to Joy and his eagerness to beat fools to a pulp, he seems to be a genuinely nice guy who deeply cares for his friends and employees. The Art Book even states that he likes "giving people self-confidence."
- Reflected in the end scene where Roger really hopes he's doing the right thing in trying to kill Brad to protect Buddy.
- Macho Camp: The art-book depicts him as a rather buff fellow.
- Mister Kitty: Queen is the leader of the Bees of the Beehive, a conglomerate of male strippers and prostitutes who live out in the swamp, and judging by his introductory scene he is fiercely protective of them, willing to beat the shit out of anyone who disrespects or stiffs them.
- Sex Is Good: Subverted. It appears he steadfastly holds this position at the beginning of his campfire conversation, but as he speaks it becomes clearer that he thinks that love is good and sex is just a bonus.Queen: I don't know much, fatman. But I know two things very well. One, I've been staring the whole time, and I have to admit. I'm jealous of your nice juicy tits. And two, being held by someone you love is the best feeling in the entire universe.
- Sexual Extortion: His saving grace is being able to extort double the mags from human enemies before the end of the battle. Ideal if you're hurting for currency.
- Sir Swears-a-Lot: He has a tendency toward...creative language. In his campfire chat, he clearly starts making Brad uncomfortable with his overly blunt probing of whether or not he's had sex using said creative language.
- Straight Gay: You might not expect it from his getup, but Queen is an absolutely no-nonsense, masculine dude who deals extremely good damage with his bat.
- The One That Got Away: His campfire conversation alludes to a person he once knew that made him feel like nothing else mattered except their love.Queen: To be held by you again my dear...I could truly die in peace...
- Took a Level in Badass: Due to the abuse he suffered as a child because of his effeminate demeanor.
Bo Wyatt
Bovine Rotunda Wyatt
"My Brother used to love coming here... We'd listen to music all night... I wish I could see him again..."
A former street performer in a diving helmet who hangs out in the swamp bar. After Brad plays him the record he got from his brother, he joins the gang to look for him. He can't attack, but his songs can buff the party to greatness. He loves family and music.
- Magic Music: His skills involve playing a guitar with one string that somehow provides the party with many heals and buffs.
- Named After Somebody Famous: One of many LISA characters named after pro wrestlers, Bo's name is a mash-up of the Rotunda brothers: Bo Dallas and Bray Wyatt.
- Nice Guy: In the end scene, he expresses regret towards fighting Brad for Buddy's sake, but reassures him that Brad's death will not be in vain.
- Only Known by Their Nickname: The artbook reveals his full name is "Bovine".
- Quirky Bard: His weapon is a guitar, and all he can do is buff and debuff.
- Rummage Sale Reject: His outfit is very bizarre, wearing a green flannel poncho, red gloves, and a diving helmet.
- Sole Survivor: Given the trope below, Bo is theoretically one of the only characters that can never be killed, either by circumstance or at Brad's hands.
- So Long, and Thanks for All the Gear: Bo is the only party member who can leave the party outside of death or abandonment. If you take him to see Henry's body he'll leave the party to grieve, and take all his equipment with him. The blow does get softened thanks to him giving you 100 mags, and there is nothing stopping you from relieving him of his gear prior to this.
- Support Party Member: Bo has no attacks, but he is the best healer and buff/debuffer in the game.
- That Sounds Familiar: To recruit him, you have to kill Henry Wyatt (a joy mutant), claim his record, then play it at the bar Bo is attending too. Doing this causes Bo to join you, hoping you would lead him to Henry (which is optional).
- Video Game Cruelty Potential: If you use the truck to skip out on fighting Henry after getting his record, you can recruit Bo, have him in your party, come back, and kill Henry with his assistance. This makes him leave the party, but so does visiting Henry with him in general.
- You Killed My Father: Thankfully averted AND optional. If you opt to take him to his brother's corpse, he will be too focused on grieving for him to want to understand what happened.
R.T.
R.T.
"Duffie... I had everything inside you... My sweet, sweet Duffie.."
A homeless man bumming around the Beehive looking for his lost duffel bag, he joins Brad if you can find it for him. His bag can shoot out any number of bizarre things.
- Addled Addict: The Definitive Edition causes him to be affected by Joy Withdrawal. When RT's affected, expect to kiss his hit rate goodbye.
- Amazing Technicolor Population: His skin is a pale green, possibly because of how filthy he is.
- Bag of Holding: Duffie, his duffel bag. Most of his attacks revolve around him revealing stuff from inside it.
- Choke Holds: Has a sleeper hold he can do for a chance of putting an enemy to sleep. An upgraded version of it, Nightmare Hold, guarantees a sleep aliment on the victim.
- Crazy Homeless People: Was homeless long before the White Flash, and isn't exactly the sanest person left.
- Elemental Powers: His bag is full of many things, including shooting out beams of flames, a bright flash, poisonous substances, etc. They also happen to be really powerful. Useful for anyone going with an all-fire team.
- Hidden Disdain Reveal: Reveals at the final battle that he never liked Brad and was only with him for a shot at Buddy.
- Mighty Glacier: Has a lot of health and SP, along with a variety of powerful, helpful special moves, making him an excellent versatile character to play with.
- Only Known by Initials: What does "R.T." stand for? Who knows.
- The Starscream: A campfire chat he can have with Fly and Crisp has him bring up the possibility of killing Brad, though Fly balks at actually killing him and Crisp decides they’d be mulched if they tried.
- Wrestler in All of Us: His special moves include a series of savage elbow drops.
Ajeet Mandeep
Ajeet Mandeep
"I can see it in your eyes... the Joy... Please sir, stay away from me."
A Punjabi playboy who used to work as a tollbooth attendant, he despises Joy. He's a large, kind man and an advocate of clean living, he'll join Brad if he talks to him while sober. He lacks a normal attack, but his finger pokes cause all sorts of status effects.
- Combat Pragmatist: One of his skills has him gouge the enemy's eyes, blinding them.
- Dry Crusader: The only character in the game that actively hates Joy, to the point that he'll refuse to join you if you've taken at least two pills of Joy. Thankfully, Buzzo force feeding you Joy in Area 2 does not count.
- Finger Poke of Doom: His normal attacks let him induce status effects on enemies by poking them. Considering Austin's Author Appeal towards pro wrestling, this is in no doubt a reference to the Trope Namer.
- Gameplay and Story Segregation: You can give him Joy just fine as a party member.
- Gentle Giant: Surprisingly kind, despite his imposing appearance. Even in the end game, he only wants to take Brad out because Ajeet believes that the future of humanity should come before one man, and feels that he needs to learn this lesson.
- Meaningful Name: "Mandeep" is an Indian surname that translates to "enlightened" or (more literally) "mind full of light."
- Mighty Glacier: He's got loads of bulk right out of the box, and plenty of Attack and S.Attack to go along with it, making Ajeet quite the tanky powerhouse if you're able to recruit him.
- Never My Fault: The art book calls him "The King of Pointing Fingers," although it doesn't come up in the game proper. Though, the title may be literal considering the Finger Poke of Doom trope.
- Nice Guy: He's willing to fight Brad to secure a future for themselves and the children of Olathe. In his words, "It should never be about one man. His people come first."
- If you somehow have him recruited into your party before going to area 2, and choose to sacrifice Brad's arm over him, Ajeet will be the most sincere out of everyone to thank you for the sacrifice after Terry.
""I am forever grateful. Brad Armstrong, your heart is good." - Religious Bruiser: The fact that Ajeet is specified as being Punjabi as opposed to merely Indian might indicate that he's a Sikh (it should also be noted that "Mandeep" is a common Sikh surname). This would be consistent with his dislike of excessive drug use, his punctuality about clean living, and his snazzy blue dastaar.
- Wrestler in All of Us: Has his fair share of physical, wrestling moves, including drop-kicks and elbow drops.
Clint Olympic
Clint Bart Olympic
"Hey hoss. Straight up, no story, no gimmicks... 500 mags, and I'm yours."
A former hustler and the most handsome man on the planet, Clint will join Brad for a fee of 500 mags. His move set is very similar to Brad's, though he is best used when fighting multiple enemies.
- Addled Addict: His basic attacks are already noticeably weak in comparison to other party members, and their damage output will drop to zero when he's in Withdrawal.
- Extremity Extremist: All of his special attacks are kicks or otherwise involve his legs.
- The Fighting Narcissist: His official bio claims that he is the most handsome man on the planet.
- Flower Motifs: Befitting his conceited nature, his basic attacks are all named after parts of flowers: Thorn, Nectar, Petal and Leaf.
- Hustler: His occupation before the Flash, according to his official bio. Also apparent in how he offers to join Brad's party for 500 mags, an exorbitant price, and you probably fell for it.
- Moveset Clone: Plays pretty much the same as Brad, even sharing the same moves. The difference is that he's not as strong as him (even without his arms), and his moves are based on his narcissism, but functionally the same as Brad's. Doesn't help that he suffers from Joy Withdrawal.
- Murderous Thighs: Some of his attacks involve him squeezing the enemy's neck with his thighs."A bittersweet situation for the enemy..."
- Nice Guy: Despite his narcissism, the end scene portrays him as possibly heroic, as he'll move to protect Buddy from Brad and even gives Brad a chance to walk away beforehand.
- Only in It for the Money: He will only join you if you pay him 500 mags.
- Proud Beauty: Uses his good looks to his advantage in battle.
Birdie Hall
Birdie Nash Hall
"Attay boy!!! Say... I like you bud... I love you! You're good people! Who needs family... I don't need them anymooore! Buds for life!"
A former dock worker and a fun-loving drunk found sloshed at a bar, he'll join Brad if you get him a bottle of Olathian Liquor. He has a lot of powerful moves and healing abilities, but he has to be drunk to use them. He is one of a handful that is TP based.
- Addled Addict: Now suffers from Joy Withdrawal in the Definitive Edition, causing his Drunkard Tumble skills to miss frequently.
- Apologetic Attacker: Will often cry and refuse to attack during the final battle against Brad.
- The Alcoholic: He's almost perpetually drunk, and you'll want to keep him that way as that's the only time he can use his abilities.
- Blush Sticker: Has a constant pair that most likely is related to his constant drinking.
- Booze-Based Buff: Birdie can heal himself or a party member with a swig of his booze, or use his emergency stash to heal everyone at once. His attack move is the "Drunkard Tumble".
- Drunken Master: To the point where his fighting style is actually listed as Zui Quan in the artbook; as such, he can only use his skills when he's drunk.
- Lethal Joke Character: Who would've thought a silly-looking drunkard with no standard attack would be considered one of the most overpowered characters in the game?
- Nerf: Became one of many party members to now suffer withdrawal as of the Definitive Edition. Gasoline Spit's cost was also raised, forcing you to burn an Onion Vodka before a fight to start a fight with it or stock up on Lucrative Tea.
- Outliving One's Offspring: His alcoholism was kicked off by the tragic deaths of his two children, whom he occasionally mentions in win comments.
- Red Mage: Learns a mix of tumbling attacks, status moves, and healing abilities.
- Simple, yet Awesome: Birdie's most notable ability is spitting gasoline on enemies to oil them up. Following that with a fire-based attack (such as Terry's Hottest Dance) will do an insane amount of damage. Additionally, due to being a TP-based character who can simply restore said TP by using a basic move, he can spit as much gasoline on people as he wants. As a result of all this, Birdie can trivialize almost any battle in the game with ease.
- Support Party Member: While Birdie does have offensive prowess, his support moves are where he really shines. He can heal the whole party with Secret Stash and cure status ailments with Lil' Diddy. He can also inflict Drunkeness on a party member with Drinks on Me! and use Gasoline Spit, which can possibly blind an enemy in addition to making them vulnerable to fire.
Garth
Garth
"Hello, friend! I don't get many visitors... Not a lot of people appreciate art these days.. You thought it was hard to make a living off of art in the past? I tell ya, it's a whole 'nother story now! Haha! So, now I make a living drawing dirty pictures...I can't complain!"
A pornographer living in a cave and researching how sex was back when there were women. He joins the Gang if Brad pays him 150 mags for one of his drawings. His drawings can illicit a variety of effects on enemies.
- Addled Addict: One of the many party members who was Nerfed to suffer Joy Withdrawal in the Definitive Edition. It doesn't affect him as badly as the other party members because of his focus on support.
- Anime Hair: His wild and spiky mane.
- Author Avatar: Not of Dingaling, but of Glenn Garth, one of the Kickstarter backers.
- Badass Cape: His tattered pink shroud... Which, according to its item description, appears to be made from an old towel.
- Brain Bleach: He inflicts status effects on the enemies by showing them some rather disturbing drawings.
- Caustic Critic: Has a rather… poor opinion on the mag he catches Jack reading, before drawing up a picture he deems superior.
- Expressive Mask: The green eye on his mask changes to reflect his emotions, and can even invoke Red Eyes, Take Warning when attacking. This is best demonstrated during his campfire conversation with Jack, where his mask goes through a wide range of emotions, including a "Cancel" symbol.
- Glowing Eyes of Doom: His Spider Thrall form has a single red dot for an eye peering through his mask. No eyelashes, just the pupil.
- Mad Artist: Is revealed to be this in his campfire conversation with Jack, in which he considers the smut found in Olathe's porn magazines to be massed-produced tripe, before wildly whipping up a two-girl-one-man tentacle gangbang in a matter of seconds and showing it to Jack.
- Only One Name: Just goes by "Garth".
- The Pen Is Mightier: He fights by using his pencil to poke the enemy. It doesn't do much damage, but it has a decent change of poisoning them.
- Reclusive Artist: In-universe. He's found in a small, isolated cave.
- Starving Artist: No one wants his drawings, so he asks Brad for some magazines to inspire him. If you give Garth 150 mags, he will be so touched by the gesture that he'll join Brad's gang.
- Support Party Member: Besides his basic attack, all his other abilities don't do any kind of direct damage. But, most of them have a decent-to-great chance of inflicting status effects, and he can buff the attack and defense of other party members.
Yazan Barghouti
Yazan Barghouti
"I am Yazan. And this is Kat. I am a shoving leopard... Of what you ask? Do you really care to listen? I'm searching for a far off land... A paradise for all felines... Nobody knows if it is real... But I will not stop searching till I die. Will you join me on my quest?"
A wandering vagabond who loves cats. He's a swordsman joined by his pet cat, who joins Brad to search for Cat Haven, a place rumored to be paradise for cats. He's fast and can buff his party's agility, or lower the opponent's.
- A Dog Named "Dog": Zig-zagged with Kat. Aside from the different spelling, it’s also shorthand for Katherine.
- Assist Character: Yazan's cat, Kat.
- The Beastmaster: Most of his special techniques focus on utilizing his pet cat.
- Everything's Better with Samurai: He's more or less a samurai in all but name, though his starting weapon is a sabre rather than a katana.
- Fragile Speedster: His Agility is far and away his best stat, but his defenses are paper-thin.
- Glass Cannon: Despite this, he can deal great damage, and even inflict fear and bleeding (especially useful against bosses), and thanks to his Agility, he always attacks first.
- Friend to All Living Things:
- He really adores cats, and wants to find the rumored cat heaven for their sake.
- His quote at the end scene shows how he wants Buddy alive because he is afraid that no one would be around to care for the animals if the human race perishes.
- Heroes Prefer Swords: The sole sword-user in the Painful.
Tiger Man
Lincoln Townsend "Tiger Man"
"..."
A former Wushu player who lived in the Ghettos of Olathe his whole life. He's a silent warrior wearing a tiger mask and searching for a worthy opponent, he joins the party after Brad defeats him. His spear techniques can cause enemies to bleed out.
- Addled Addict: Sadly suffers badly from Joy Withdrawal, rendering him completely useless whenever he suffers withdrawal, or doesn't take any Joy. Arguably even the weakest of the addicts during Withdrawal, since even the other heavily-physical ones still have useful skills.
- Blood Knight: He's a "Dojo Buster," and spends his time seeking out and killing every dojo's master he can find, hoping for a challenge. Hell, he can even run off while everyone’s asleep to go fight some more in the remake.
- Cat Folk: The game itself questions whether or not his huge tiger head is a mask. Played with in-game, as the eyes on his "mask" close when he is sleeping.
- Defeat Means Friendship: Defeating him will have him join the gang.
- Famed In-Story: He doesn't speak, so most of what you learn of him is spoken by others.
- Glass Cannon: Strong and fast, but has very low health, making him a risky prospect for prolonged battles come the final stretch of the game.
- The Quiet One: He does not say a single word for the entire game.
- Overrated and Underleveled: Much weaker as a team member than a boss, with a Joy addiction to boot.
- Self-Deprecation: The game's creator is an accomplished Wushu practitioner himself... And the art's representative party member is an Overrated and Underleveled one-note damage dealer crippled with joy addiction.
- Training from Hell: In his bio in the artbook, it is told that he trained with a Wushu master in his neighborhood and the training could be considered child abuse by most people.
Jack
Jack
"Hello, weary traveller! Welcome... To Jack's Travelling Magic Show! You pay me, and I'll travel with you and perform! ... But. I lost part of my act... My playing cards. If you can find me some new ones. I'll perform for free!"
A young stage magician who grew up after the Flash, he became obsessed with magic after he found an old magic kit. He joins if Brad brings him his deck of cards. His attacks have a variety of effects, but mostly deal fire damage.
- Child Mage: Jack is significantly younger than the rest of the party - he doesn't even remember what the world was like before the apocalypse.
- Children Are Innocent: Downplayed. Jack is Brad's youngest potential party member by far, but he's not quite a child and even he still reads porn mags. However, his campfire conversation with Garth has Garth exposing him to some swiftly-created tentacle ecchi in an effort to get him to appreciate his art.Garth: I cannot wait to crush your innocence.
- The Klutz: His fire moves all revolve around him trying to juggle and failing at it.
- Only One Name: He has no last name, which may have to do with the fact that he grew up during the Flash.
- Playing with Fire: Jack's movepool is primarily status effects and fire magic.
- Random Effect Spell: His Hat Pull skills all have him pull a randomly determined item out of his hat, bestowing unique effects to its target depending on what was drawn or just dealing damage.
- Squishy Wizard: His average-at-best Attack and Defense are balanced out by excellent magical stats, allowing him to deal large amounts of damage under the right circumstances, ESPECIALLY if paired with Birdie.
- Stage Magician: Jack's job. Recruiting him involves returning his lost deck of cards to him.
Harvey Alibastor
Harvey Alibastor
"My CLIENT... Says he is innocent of this crime... BUT! He is guilty of saying you suck eggs. ... Your wife's eggs."
A strange Fishman lawyer raised by humans, he joins the gang after somehow defending Brad in Fishman Court. He can use his lawyer techniques to fight enemies, as well as just squirting water at them.
- Anti-Villain: He attacks Brad in the final battle genuinely believing that he's bad.
- Badass Adorable: A cute fish with tiny legs and a hat that can shoot the ever-living hell out of his enemies.
- Chewbacca Defense: How Harvey bails Brad out of Fishman Court.
- In addition, some of his abilities consist of tossing stacks of confusing legal paperwork at enemies, inflicting a variety of debuffs.
- Fish Person: He's a talking fish with legs and a little hat. Ironically, he doesn't speak the fish peoples language.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He’s shifty, hates humanity and insults his clients frequently, but he does come to genuinely like working with Brad. He also shows resignation about fighting him, often wasting turns crying.
- Lightning Bruiser: Harvey has great stats all-around and a variety of powerful skills, making him a great party member for almost any situation.
- Making a Splash: One of the few gang members with water element attacks. Just don't pair him with fire-based allies.
- Non-Standard Character Design: Not just by your gang's standards, being the only truly non-human member, but also by Fishman standards. Whereas the other Fishmen you meet are green or blue humanoid fishes, Harvey is just a gray anchovy with legs and a hat.
- Paper Master: His specialty is hurling paper documents at the enemy, giving them paper cuts and inflicting status effects by frustrating them with the law.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here: How he gets you out of court.
- Simple Country Lawyer: He attempts this act, but it is entirely questionable whether or not it contributed to helping Brad.
- Translator Buddy: Subverted as he cannot understand Fishman language at all despite being one himself.
Fly Minetti
Frank "Fly" Minetti
"I'm the greatest cart racer of all time... You'll never be able to face me..."
A former Accountant who hated his life until he made a new persona based on sentai anime, "Fly". He's a cart-racing master on Garbage Island, who'll join Brad after being beaten in a race. He can cause multiple status ailments with Puke, and hit multiple enemies with his shopping cart. Fly is actually the uncredited founder of Garbage Island.
- Addled Addict: Suffers from Joy Withdrawal in the Definitive Edition.
- Defeat Means Friendship: Well, they don't exactly become FRIENDS, though this trope is still in play to some degree; Fly is recruited by defeating him in a shopping cart race, and he joins Brad's gang to learn cart racing techniques from him.
- Everyone Has Standards: For all his comically absurd hatred of Brad, he actually balks at the idea of killing him at RT's suggestion, as he's still concerned about Brad's cart racing skills that he wanted to learn.
- Nerf: Much like Birdie, Fly suffers from occasional Joy Withdrawal in the Definitive Edition.
- Occidental Otaku: Was one before the White Flash. His fly outfit is based off of an old Sentai Anime he used to watch.
- The Rival: Even after joining up, he still considers Brad his rival, and won't let him forget it.
- Shout-Out: The website lists his real first name as Frank, making his name Frank "Fly" Minetti.
- Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: For all the perfectly valid reasons there are to dislike the man, he openly loathes Brad more than any other party member for nothing more than beating him in pushing shopping carts around. It's as ridiculous as it sounds, but hilarious at the same time.
- Sour Supporter: Despite respecting his cart-racing skills and staying on his side until the end of the game, it's very clear that he DESPISES Brad.
- In the end, he makes this clear to the man himself, telling him that he never liked him and he should give Buddy up.
- Zombie Puke Attack: Though not a zombie, one of his attacks is literally puking on his target.
Ollie Nickels
Ollie Olive Nickels
"Whaauea? A customer? I haven't had a customer in years... I bought this bar from some city slicker... What a terrible investment! I've been living off of trash and sea water for quite some time... I want to leave, but I always get lost in all the trash... And on top of that, I'm up to my eyeballs in porno mag debt! I suppose this is my lot in life... huuuahuh? You'll pay all 2 MAGAZINES?!?!"
An overly sweaty businessman who's tried and failed at every business imaginable, living on the edge of Garbage Island. He joins the gang if Brad can pay off his debts for him. He uses special gun techniques to befuddle enemies.
- The Eeyore: Due to his poverty, Ollie is often struck with the depression status, which hinders his abilities.
- Evil Debt Collector: Two of them show up during his campfire chat, whom Brad and his gang must defeatnote . Apparently, Ollie actually has 243 unpaid debts when he thought it was only 7. When defeated, they jump off a cliff while exploding. Ollie says he is forever in Brad's debt, and gives him his most valuable possession—a firm handshake. On top of that, it's actually the slimiest, greasiest, most unfirm handshake Brad has ever received.
- Gun Fu: Has some impressive SMG-based skills that targets multiple enemies.
- Incest Subtext: The Sister's Kiss skill description is as reads..."A very personal move with a questionable past... "
- Ironic Name: His last name is Nickels, and yet he struggles with debt.
- Jumped at the Call: Nobody ever cared for poor Ollie. He even lost his reasons to care for himself. In the end, he resolves to finally shake off his depression to save Buddy from Brad.
- Overly-Nervous Flop Sweat: He's a constant sweaty mess, likely due to his perpetual distress.
- Perpetual Poverty: A string of failed businesses means he can't even afford to pay his 2 Mag debt.
- Shoot Everything That Moves: His gun skills are dubious at best as all he does is fire wildly, emptying whole clips and hitting multiple enemies at once.
- Status Effects: He can inflict probably the greatest variety of statuses out of any party member.
Shocklord
Otto Shipman "Shocklord"
"Arm-Shock will never die!!"
An EWC wrestler and Sports Entertainer paired up with Brad for the tag-team championship, he'll join Brad if you win the belt. His only attack is to fall on his face, although it's surprisingly effective.
- Dynamic Entry: His only move is to trip and fall on his face. It's actually a fairly effective move that does decent group damage.
- Fire-Forged Friends: Working together through the tag-team championship, Shocklord and Brad form a powerful bond strong enough that he will join Brad's gang.
- It gets to the point that he's an Apologetic Attacker and a downright Anti-Villain if he's one of the party members you have to fight.
- Heroic Self-Deprecation: Shocklord serves as a great asset throughout the tag-team championship, but during the final match, he will still apologize to Brad and call himself The Load.
- It Has Been an Honor: A downplayed instance: before their final title bout, Shocklord tells Brad that win or lose, he's really enjoyed working with him.
- The Klutz: Ever since he accidentally fell on his face during his debut, Shocklord has been plagued by slip ups and clumsiness.
- Masked Luchador: He wears a silly one with stars decorating it. He is never seen without it.
- Nice Guy: The most so of any member of Brad's party. He downright refuses to fight during the final party member confrontation, whereas even Terry might make an attempt.
- No Celebrities Were Harmed: Of The Shockmaster, who is infamous for falling on his face rather spectacularly in his debut at WCW.
- Simple, yet Awesome: His only skill, Big Shock (which involves falling on his face), only has a 70% accuracy rate, but hits all targets and does a great deal of damage, especially when enraged.
- Stage Name: "Shocklord" is just his wrestler name. The artbook reveals his full name is Otto Shipman, a reference to Fred Ottman and his "Tugboat" persona.
- When All You Have Is a Hammer…: The only attack he has is Big Shock, which involves throwing himself face first into the ground. Luckily it deals decent damage, hits all enemies and crits often, though its accuracy is somewhat shakey.
Sonny Backluwitz
"Sonny" Dave Backluwitz
"What do you think Harvey? Should I rip this guy to shreds? ... But... he has no title belt? ... He's not worth my clothesline... GET OUT!"
A deranged ex-prowrestler living in a cave who only speaks sensibly to Harvey, the dog pelt he wears. Sonny will join Brad if he can prove his worth by winning the EWC title belt. He fights with wrestling techniques that have a chance to scare and paralyze the enemy.
- Addled Addict: The Definitive Edition makes him suffer from Joy Withdrawal.
- All Dogs Are Purebred: Averted with Harvey, who is stated to be a Great Dane/Blue Heeler mix.
- Apologetic Attacker: Despite "Harvey's" objections to Sonny, Sonny insists on taking out Brad to preserve their future, and apologizes beforehand out of respect.
- Berserk Button: Calling pro wrestling "fake" sends him into a rage.
- Does Not Like Spam: His most hated thing is cucumbers.
- Expy: Essentially David Berkowitz if he was a Pro-Wrestler.
- Hearing Voices: Talks to and takes orders from his dead dog Harvey a la Al Snow and Head.
- I Fight for the Strongest Side!: Harvey implores Sonny to join Brad if he has the championship belt, apparently out of respect for his wrestling ability.
- Late Character Syndrome: While nowhere near as bad as Crisp and Buffalo, he's still only obtainable late in the game, and only after locking yourself out of EWC. This is mitigated somewhat by his staggering damage output though.
- Nemean Skinning: Wears his dead dog this way.
- Not So Stoic: If you hack the game and have him recruited prior to moving to area 2, and opting to sacrifice Brad's arm, he will react by trying to reassure himself (via Harvey) to not think about what he witnessed.
- One-Steve Limit: Averted in that his dog pelt Harvey shares its name with Harvey Alibastor, another recruitable party member.
- Only Known by Their Nickname: The artbook implies his real name is Dave.
- Pro Wrestling Is Real: Sonny wholly considers wrestling real and his wrestling techniques have genuine application in battle.
- Stout Strength: A noticeable gut, but hits like a truck.
Crisp Ladaddy
Crisp Jon Ladaddy
"Toby..."
A former taxi driver and a powerful swordsman longing for his lover, Toby. He'll join you if you hold Toby hostage. His sword techniques can inflict different status ailments.
- Anti-Villain: Crisp wants to kill Brad because he believes he is a sick man and he deserves this. Justified in that you have to hold Toby hostage in order for him to join at all, and Brad's actions for Buddy are selfish at best.
- Artwork and Game Graphics Segregation: In-game, he has four red stripes on his face that his character art lacks.
- Audible Sharpness: His lightning fast sword attacks produce plenty of sharp noises.
- Balance Buff: In the Definitive Edition, Crisp's Wet Cutter skill was improved to include it having a good chance to inflict +Oiled Up on the target, which makes fire moves 300% more effective on them. This one change alone makes Crisp far more useful in the late game.
- I Have Your Wife: He joins you after you hold his boyfriend Toby hostage.
- Late Character Syndrome: While thematically pretty cool, Crisp's placement makes him very likely to be the last party member recruited in a regular game, if he's recruited at all, and by then most players will have already settled on a party they're happy with, leaving Crisp with a small pool of skills, mediocre stats (save agility) and no niche to fill.
- Making a Splash: He can use the relatively rare water element with his wet cutter.
- Multi Wielding: Uses six swords in combat.
- "Not So Different" Remark: His campfire conversation with RT and Fly has him muse that Brad's party is full of a bunch of disorganized weirdos and how they're not really any better than most of the gangs of Olathe.
- Only Sane Man: Possibly due to being one of the last characters you can recruit (and one of the few with a valid reason to dislike Brad), he has a very clear-eyed view of Brad and his party in his campfire event, noting that Brad is an unscrupulous person whose agendas don't align with the party and how they aren't really any different from the rest of the gangs chasing after Buddy.
- Pet the Dog: You can just give him Toby for free instead of demand he fight for you (demanding parent like Rooster has Brad ask for a ridiculously high amount of mags that Crisp can’t pay otherwise). He’ll thank you, but not join you.
- Wolverine Claws: How he wields his six swords — three in each hand.
Buffalo Van Dyke
Buffalo Van Dyke
"...I'll be dipped! YOU'RE the guy kicking everyone's ass for that chick? God damn... This is more bullshit than that bum call in '82!"
An incredibly aggressive American Football star leading a gang of gearheads, he'll join the team once Brad defeats him. He fights with a variety of tackles.
- Badass Crew: He leads his gang like a football team, but ditches them in disappointment if they lose to Brad.
- It's also shown in The Joyful that he was one of Olathe's warlords, though he's crossed out when Buddy finds it; this either means that joining Brad effectively ended his reign or he wasn't crossed out until a presumed death at Brad's hands.
- Defeat Means Friendship: He joins Brad's crew, leaving behind his own if he is defeated.
- Eyepatch of Power: His status-menu description says he simply lost his eye because of how rough he played, but the artbook says it was ripped out after he discovered the league of businessmen that determined the outcomes of the games. Either way, it's fitting of his status as a warlord of Olathe.
- Hidden Depths: Despite his ego and short-temper, he is all for rescuing Buddy from Brad in favor of saving humanity.
- I Know Madden Kombat: He fights using American Football techniques.
- Killed Offscreen: Implied in The Joyful Definitive Edition. He's one of the spirits in the new superboss, which is only available after killing all of the warlords in the game. This is only applicable if Buffalo wasn't killed by a Permadeath attack or if he wasn't in your final party before leaving to Rando Land (Granted, the fight against the party members is its own can of worms due to the ambigious nature of it).
- Late Character Syndrome: Much like Crisp, you don't recruit Buffalo until late in the game, and he doesn't have a unique role to fill, limiting his usefulness in the long run. However, he has more skills to work with than the former, and dishes out a lot of damage, which gives him more use than other examples of this trope.
- This is actually Lampshaded in his end-game speech, where he mentions how he's only known Brad for a short period of time, and thinks it isn't his place to speak, but feels that humanity's future should come before Brad's, and is willing to kill him to ensure that.
- Lightning Bruiser: Buffalo's good Agility, solid tankiness and excellent damage output do a good amount to keep him from being useless, in the event that you need a reliable filler party member.
- Non-Standard Character Design: His face looks more like a G.I. Joe character than one from this game.
- Overrated and Underleveled: While he's perfectly capable during his short tenure in Brad's party, he's supposedly the seventh strongest warlord in Olathe, which... doesn't fully match how he performs in a fight. Big Lincoln would probably eat the guy for breakfast, to say the least.
- Patriotic Fervor: He loves football and steak, plus the artbook lists his dislike as "other countries". Doesn't get more patriotic than that.
- Phenotype Stereotype: He's American, so naturally he has blond hair and blue eyes.
