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Arson Murder And Jaywalking / Live-Action TV

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General Examples:

  • A number of shows have used this joke where someone will list the crimes and/or atrocities they've committed, and the last one is (to this extent) retransmitting a televised sporting event without expressed written consent of the sports league (opting instead for implied oral consent) — a Take That! on the warning every single major sports league gives during their game broadcast.

Specific Examples:

  • 3rd Rock from the Sun: Dick tells a psychiatrist his problems: "I don't belong on this planet, I'm an alien from another galaxy, the warranty on my brain just expired, and I'm scared to get married!"
  • According to Jim: In the Halloween Episode, Jim's three children (Ruby, Gracie, and Kyle) pick up their own Halloween costumes. Ruby goes as a cowgirl, Gracie is Lady Liberty, and Kyle dresses as... Cinderella.
  • The Adventures of Lano and Woodley :
    • The DVD release featured introductions to each episode. One had this gem:
      Frank: "The following episode Mother has all the classic ingredients of a political thriller: a conniving politician, ruthless manipulation of the media, a lobster with a vendetta."
    • For the record, the episode did in fact have all of those.
  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.:
    • In one episode, the team encounters an Asgardian living on Earth and posing as a college professor. Upon learning this, Skye comments:
      Skye: This guy has lived through all the scary stuff; the crusades, the black death, disco....
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    • Cal's Psycho Serum includes anabolic-androgenic steroids, a liver enzyme blocker, various metabolic enhancers, methamphetamines, gorilla testosterone, and peppermint.
    • Coulson wondering what was in "The World's Most Conspicuous Briefcase" - "Could be anything: nuclear launch codes, hush money, girl scout cookies..."
  • In an All That Cold Open, the various cast members had ordered food from somewhere called Rogan's, who royally screwed their orders, including Spaghetti with golf balls and a human foot. Kenan complained, even though the only change to his order was getting Brown Mustard instead of yellow mustard
  • American Horror Story: Coven has one quite unexpected: when Papa Legba prepares to consign Madame LaLaurie to Hell, he lists her sins as "crimes of torture, murder, passion, fashion, and being an all-round no-good, miserable bitch".
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  • The Andy Griffith Show: Reversed in severity, this show featured Barney, who loves writing jaywalking tickets, doing so for a man who also double parked. Andy comes up and informs him that the man also robbed the bank.
  • Angel:
    • During the fifth season and the episode "Underneath", Illyria recounts all the different worlds she walked through when she was Demon King: she saw worlds of pain and destruction, worlds full of opulent beauty, "...and one world filled with nothing but shrimp. I tired of that one quickly." (This references an episode of the parent show Buffy the Vampire Slayer in which Anya mentioned a world with nothing but shrimp and a world without shrimp.)
    • In the next episode ("Origin"), Angel makes Spike figure out what Illyria's powers are. In the middle of the episode, Connor asks if she has any powers, and Spike says, "Glad you asked. So far, I've determined that she can hit like a Mack truck, selectively alter the flow of time... oh, and possibly talk to plants."
    • This becomes the subject of a Brick Joke in a later episode where, after having her power level significantly dropped, she muses to herself, while stroking an office plant, "I can no longer hear the song of the green." (Lorne's pretty sure she's not talking about him.)
    • And is revisited in the After the Fall comics, where the power actually helps her.
    • There's also a dialogue early in season 2 that features this trope:
      Cordelia: "And you know, you didn't just betray me, Angel. You didn't just hurt me. You gave away my clothes."
      Angel: "To the needy."
      Cordelia: "I am the needy!
    • Hamilton explaining the damage Illyria had caused while retrieving Gunn from Wolfram and Hart's holding dimension:
      Hamilton: "Illyria destroyed 11 torture units before she found your man; two troop carriers, an ice cream truck, and eight beautifully maintained lawns."
  • The A-Team:
    • In the Season 2 premiere, "Diamonds 'n Dust," Murdock uses this to insult a South African store owner about how hideously un-English the establishment is when he's pretending to be a English officer ("Col. Lexington") as he and Face try to "confiscate" some dynamite:
      Murdock: No kippers, no herring-bone tweed, no Rolls Royce tire caps, no original pressings of "Hey Jude!!!"
      Face (mouthing): "Hey Jude?"
    • And then played with in the late Season 3 episode "Beverly Hills Assault," when Murdock is posing as an up-and-coming artist:
      Murdock (to the evil art gallery owner): Can you guarantee that in a hundred years, after I'm gone, that the name "Murdock" will be on a par with Rembrandt, Picasso, Van Gogh, Willy Mays—
      Face: Uh, uh, Willy Mays?
      Murdock: Do you deny that Willy Mays was a great artist in centerfield?!
      • And then a few moments later in the same episode:
        Murdock: Murdock does not shake hands. Murdock does not play sports. Murdock does not open canned food. (Beat) Murdock paints.
  • Babylon 5 has an excellent subversion, in Londo's parting speech to Refa.
    You've taken from me, that which I loved, Refa. You also took the life of prime minister Malakai, a good and dear friend. You have inconvenienced me, and threatened my position in the Royal Court...
    • Had Londo stopped there, it would have been a straight example, and Londo's delivery at first indicates it might be (something which wouldn't have been out of character) but he goes on:
      ... and weakened our defenses by your constant warfare.
  • Baggage: On one episode, the contestants had in their smallest bags, "I have a gill hole in my ear," "I was born with a sixth finger," and... "I'm obsessed with bananas."
  • Batman:
    • The TV series features a classic example in the form of List of Transgressions in the episode The Joke’s on Catwoman, part 2. At Joker and Catwoman’s court trial Batman lists their crimes as: “Robbery, attempted murder, assault and battery, mayhem, and overtime parking.”
    • King Tut makes one with "My Queen is disloyal, my maiden is a traitor, and everyone is being mean to me! (starts sobbing)" A royal breakdown indeed.
  • The Big Bang Theory:
    • When Amy was kicked out of her study of monkeys and cigarette addiction: "Typical bureaucratic nonsense. You can get animals addicted to a harmful substance, you can dissect their brains, but you throw their own feces back at them and suddenly you're unprofessional."
    • An inversion occurs when Sheldon wonders whether, in the Star Wars game they're going to play, they should be Jedi or Sith. Leonard says, "What are you talking about? We're always the good guys. In Dungeons and Dragons, we're Lawful Good, in City of Heroes, we're the heroes, and in Grand Theft Auto, we pay the prostitutes promptly and never hit them with a bat."
  • Big Time Rush:
    Camille: [acting as a cop] This varmint is wanted for robbery, money launderin', and crimes against fashion.
  • Blackadder Goes Forth:
    • Blackadder, after sleeping with someone he suspects of being a spy, asks her whether her boyfriend had been to one of the great universities: Oxford, Cambridge or Hull. (Later, when he points out that "you failed to spot that only two of those are great universities", Melchett remarks: "That's right! Oxford's a complete dump!")
    • Squadron Commander Flashheart on why he dislikes WWI: "The blood, the noise, the endless poetry!"
  • Black Books: Does this depending which way you look at it:
    Bernard Black: I am cold! I've got chilblains, tinnitus and thrush!
  • Bones: Intern Vincent Nigel-Murray must make amends as part of a 12 step AA process. He apologizes for the following: urinating in Hodgins' tadpole tank, saying he slept with Cam, Angela and Brennan, using Angela's letter opener to clean his nails, and stealing 3 coupons (one for a soda, one for a cheese cracker snack, and one for a fish meal) from Cam.
  • Botched: One of Terry's many jokes about Paul falls under this trope. It went something like "I wonder about several of life's great mysteries: what they keep in Area 51, who the man on the grassy knoll was, and what the hell is wrong with Paul's thumbs." Bonus points for the second thing concerning an actual murder.
  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer:
    • Principal Snyder states that there are things he won't tolerate in his school: students on the grounds after dark, horrible murders with hearts ripped out, and smoking. He also cites the things juvenile delinquents get up to on Halloween: "Tossing eggs, keying cars, bobbing for apples...".
    • Early in season 3, Principal Snyder's reasons for not letting Buffy back into Sunnydale High are her poor grades, spotty attendance record, and, above all else, "tingling pleasure" that he didn't have to put up with her anymore.
    • While enumerating ex-boyfriends, Faith has had "Ronny, deadbeat; Steve, klepto; Kenny... drummer."note 
    • When Anya laments her lost demon powers, she complains to D'Hoffryn: "And now I'm stuck at Sunnydale High. Mortal. A child. And I'm flunking math." (Though given her apparent facility with numbers in later episodes, this could be a real blow to her pride.)
    • During "The Prom" Jonathan discusses the weird things that have occurred at Sunnydale High. The other students mention "Zombies!", Hyena People!", "Snyder!"
    • The show pokes fun at the concept in "I Robot, You Jane", when a demon is unleashed on the internet, the group surmises on the type of damage he can inflict:
      Xander: "He's in a computer! What can he do?"
      Buffy: You mean besides convince a perfectly nice kid to try and kill me? I don't know. How 'bout mess up all the medical equipment in the world?
      Giles: Randomize traffic signals.
      Buffy: Access launch codes for our nuclear missiles.
      Giles: Destroy the world's economy.
      Buffy: I think I pretty much capped it with that nuclear missile thing.
      Giles: Right, yours was best.
    • Andrew goes to a butcher shop and orders twelve pork chops, two pounds of sausage, eight quarts of pig's blood (which he needs for an evil magical ritual), three steaks, halibut, and toothpaste. The butcher reacts with a scowl to one of these items, saying, "This is a butcher shop. We don't sell toothpaste."
  • Castle: In one episode, a reality show star discovers that her dog has been bugged, and someone's been watching her more than she thought. Quoth she, "Oh my god. He could have seen me in the shower, he could have seen me and Reggie in bed together... (Beat) He could have seen me without my makeup."
  • Chuck:
    Emmett Milbarge the Buy More Efficiency Expert: I'd like to report the following violation of Buy More policy: misappropriation of the home theater room, after-hours consumption of alcohol, and lewd use of a musical montage.
  • Clarissa Explains It All:
    Clarissa: There are lots of things worse than having your mom teach at your school, like flossing with barbed wire, swimming through shark-infested waters, or having Ferguson for a brother.
  • The Colbert Report:
    • During the opening sequence, a list of words describing Colbert fly past him ("Courageous", "Exceptional", "Relentless", etc.) but always ends with something like "Grippy", "Lincolnish", "Megamerican", "Purple-Mounted" or "Factose-Intolerant". They even threw in a whole sentence for a while: "President Bush Have A Hotdog With Me". Debuting with the new opening credits animation, his most recent is "Applepious".
    • One episode, in the lead up to the March to Keep Fear Alive, featured a segment about the dangers of robots. This included a montage of dangerous movie robots, including T-600s, Gort, the ED-209, MechaGodzilla and WALL•E.
      Stephen That's the worst kind of robot: the kind that warms your heart. They don't like to eat them cold.
    • A Colbert Report list of historical threats to the Jewish people started with Iran, Hitler and King Antiochus, and ended with "Mel Gibson's Dad".
    • Both The Colbert Report and The Daily Show use this trope in their introduction scenes to news segments, showing two or more examples of something serious, then something completely not serious. For example, on Colbert's theoretical doomsday scenario, the intro shows hurricanes, terrorists, atomic bombs and gay couples.
      • There was also the poem read by Sam Waterston at the Rally To Restore Sanity And/Or Fear that listed things to fear, such as anthrax, ebola, tornadoes, and getting a pimple on your face before a date.
      • On The Daily Show, where a list of corruption accusations against Charlie Rangel end with a clip from Fox News stating that he had been "illegally storing his Mercedes-Benz in the House parking lot."
      • Jon Stewart also says that the main rules of Judaism are not to commit murder, not to commit adultery, and not to eat pork.
      • Jon Stewart lists Italian prime minister Berlusconi's ethical violations as tax fraud, embezzlement, cronyism, ties to organized crime, and using olive oil of questionable moral quality.
      • In an interview on The Daily Show, Louis C.K. said that jokes about bad things are good. He then proceeded to list the bad things as rape, the Holocaust, and the Mets.
      • Trevor Noah continues this tradtion, for example by saying about The Netherlands that they were big-time colonizers, invented Apartheid AND clogs
  • Community:
    • "Course Listing Unavailable": In Chang's request for increased security, the dean lists off his demands, with increasing incredulity: "Cool new uniforms, I like that; power to enact martial law, not so much. Indefinite detention, pepper spray, involuntary cavity searches, no soft serve?!"
    • "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps": In Shirley's story, the devil arrives and announces the schedule of tortures: "At 10, you'll be buried neck-deep in scorpions, at 11:15, lava enemas, followed by Pilates!" Quickly subverted when the devil adds, "Pilates is a demon that eats your genitals."
    • In "Remedial Chaos Theory", the darkest alternate timeline determined by the toss of dice has Pierce dead from a gunshot wound, Annie driven to madness, Shirley turned alcoholic, Jeff losing an arm, Troy's larynx destroyed, and Britta with a streak of washable blue tint in her hair (which she regards as bad as the others' conditions.)
    • In "Paranormal Parentage", the group is in Pierce's mansion, that appears to be haunted by his father Cornelius, and they see Pierce's "corpse":
      Britta: Oh my God, Pierce is dead!
      Shirley: Cornelius killed him!
  • Continuum: Discussed Trope:
    Carlos: We've got you on inciting a riot, destruction of property, aiding and abetting a kidnapping, obstruction of justice... and I'm pretty sure I saw you jaywalking.
  • On Cracked Aiden rattles off a series of charges like this at the end of "The Valley" when they arrest the boys who were running underground Gladiator Games:
    Aiden: You're under arrest for conspiracy to commit assault, aiding and abetting, obstruction of justice, outdoor drinking, littering, and dueling.
    Poppy: Dueling?
    Aiden: It's still on the books. Convincing a person to challenge another person to a duel is a crime.
  • In the Crisis on Earth-X miniseries:
  • CSI, E20/S14, ''"Consumed":
    Sarah Sidle: A cannibal, a killer...and a thief?
  • CSI NY:
    Mac: You're under arrest for the murder of Derek James, Lauren Salinas, kidnapping and attempted murder of a crime scene investigator, armed robbery, grand theft auto, assault and battery. But most of all, for pissing me off.
  • Jim Brass on the original CSI gets one too, listing the charges and ending his arrest statement to the dirty undersheriff who killed Warrick with "...And violating seven articles of scumbag."
  • Dead Like Me: Roxy visits Daisy on police business, holding a dossier on her late ex-boyfriend Ray. She says, "Quite an impressive guy you were seeing. Fraud, assault, bad haircut."
  • Degrassi: Reversed:
    Dave: I was just trying to prove a point.
    Principal Simpson: By violating dress code and fighting in the hallways?
  • Dharma & Greg: Dharma gives a list of what the title couple and their parents can not discuss at the dinner table as "religion, politics, sports, whether or not Buddy Ebsen is dead, and international breakfast foods.”
  • The Dick Van Dyke Show: In one episode, Rob lists off the horrible events of his day which include: getting in trouble with his boss and being unable to complete his work for the day because on of his coworkers arrived late and the other left early, getting a ticket for jaywalking (ironically given the trope name, not the mildest event), getting into a fight with his wife, and “on top of it all, I think I’m getting a cold sore!"
  • Doctor Who:
    • "Frontier in Space": The Doctor is accused of assault and battery, taking a spaceship without permission, and flying without insurance.
    • "Kinda": A mad military officer scolds young Adric, the Doctor's companion, saying he'll teach him "not to lie. Not to commit treason. And to wash behind the ears."
    • "Remembrance of the Daleks": The Doctor mocks the Dalek Emperor's rant about what the Daleks will achieve when they have the Hand of Omega: "Become all powerful! Crush the lesser races! Conquer the galaxy! Unimaginable power! Unlimited rice pudding! Et cetera! Et cetera!"
    • Inverted in "Ghost Light" (the last story produced, but broadcast third-to-last): "I can't stand burnt toast. I loathe bus stations: terrible places, full of lost luggage and lost souls. And then there's unrequited love, and tyranny, and cruelty." From the same episode: "My theories appall you, my heresies outrage you, I never answer letters and you don't like my tie."
    • The call to adventure (inserted as a voiceover at the end of "Survival", the last story of the original series broadcast): "There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, where the sea is asleep and the rivers dream. People made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice, and somewhere else the tea is getting cold."
    • "The End of the World" has this brief announcement at the beginning:
      "Guests are reminded that Platform One forbids the use of weapons, teleportation and religion."
    • "Rise of the Cybermen"/"The Age of Steel": Ricky's resistance group, the Preachers. Despite claiming to be freedom fighters, stockpiling weapons and hacking into various organizations, Ricky is London's most wanted... for parking violations. The Doctor backs him on the "park anywhere" for obvious reasons.
    • "Blink": Former police officer Billy says that he couldn't contact Sally earlier because the Doctor explained to him that it would've caused a rupture in time and space, it would destroy two thirds of the universe, and he would lose all his hair.
    • "The Doctor's Daughter": Donna describes the Doctor's life in this fashion to Jenny.
      Jenny: So what do you do?
      The Doctor: I travel. Through time and space.
      Donna: He saves planets, rescues civilisations, defeats terrible creatures. [beat] And runs a lot. Seriously, there’s an outrageous amount of running involved.
    • "The Big Bang": When the Doctor finds out that he's survived the "Big Bang two", he quickly verifies if he is OK, going through his life priority list, of course. "Legs, yes. Bow tie, cool. [touches hair]I can buy a fez." Although two of the items are silly, we'd already expect the bow tie, so the fez makes pretty much the same effect.
    • "Time Heist": The Doctor tries to convince Clara out of her date and mentions the places they could go, like the Satanic Nebula, the Lagoon of Lost Stars... or Brighton.

  • Doom Patrol: Rita's list of examples for why the world is 'garbage': "People lie, and they hurt each other, and they wear these things on their feet called crocs."
  • ER
    • Doug tries to console Mark over his ex-wife's remarriage by admitting that he never liked her and listing all of her negative traits — "demanding, unsupportive, hypercritical, skinny legs ..." This backfires slightly as Mark mock-angrily demands to know "what are you doing looking at my wife's legs?"
    • Desk clerk Randi reveals that she went to jail for "malicous mischief, assault, battery, carrying a concealed weapon, and aggravated mayhem."
  • Everybody Hates Chris: Narrator Chris Rock was talking about how his mother felt about drugs:
    Chris, narrating: My mother had one goal in life for her kids: don't sell drugs. As long as they weren't doin' that, almost everything else was gonna be OK.
    Police Officer: (holding Chris in handcuffs at the front door as his mother answers) Ma'am, your son killed the governor, kidnapped his daughter, robbed the president, and ran a red light.
    Rochelle: He ain't sold no drugs, did he?
    Police Officer: No, ma'am.
    Rochelle: Boy, get in here!
  • Firefly: Shepherd Book warns Mal that taking sexual advantage of his wife via Accidental Marriage will find him a place to a special hell, usually reserved for "child molesters, and people who talk at the theatre."
  • The Flash (2014): In "Harry and the Harrisons", when Caitlin proposes an alliance with the team's old foe Amunet Black, Barry notes that Black has previously kidnapped Caitlin and tried to sell Barry into metahuman slavery, Iris then adding that Amunet also ruined her bachelorette party.
  • Frasier: Turns up in places you'd least expect. Sometimes becomes part of the scene-stealing moment.
  • The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: The episode "Striptease for Two" ends with Will and Carlton explaining to Uncle Phil everything they did, which was insider trading (federal offense), pawned off Aunt Viv's diamond bracelet (grand larceny), stripped to get the money back (indecent exposure), and then, finally, they didn't even get the latch on the bracelet fixed.
    • In "Robbing the Banks", the Banks get robbed and believe that an ex-con Will hired as a handyman was responsible, only for an officer to come by and tell him that it was really Uncle Phil's law client, who was fed up with Phil treating him like a slave. As he reads from the confession...
      Officer: Well, according to him, he's sick and tired of getting you bagels, it's not his job to iron your robes and he said you unfairly accused him of calling 1-900-HORNY.
      Carlton: ...The man is obviously a deviant.
  • Friends:
    • Ross has asked Rachel to make a list of things that she doesn't like about him (it's a long story). While she's initially reticent, he finally ticks her off enough:
      Rachel: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair.
    • In this context, it actually makes sense: she's not going for a dramatic buildup, she's listing them as she thinks of them, and it's reasonable that hair gel might not be the top one on her mind.
      • Hey, 'still funny.
    • In the episode "The One With George Stephanopoulos", at the beginning of the episode, they're all discussing what they would do if they were omnipotent for a day. Phoebe goes on to use this trope.
      Phoebe: Ok, ok. If I were omnipotent for a day, I would want, hum, world peace, no more hunger, good things for the rain forest. And bigger boobs!
    • In the episode "The One After the Super Bowl", Joey gets his stalker to leave him alone by pretending to be his own Evil Twin (well, actually the Evil Twin of his soap opera character, Drake Ramoray, whom the stalker believes him to be). His friends help him out:
      Rachel: He pretended to be Drake to, to sleep with me! (throws her drink in his face)
      Monica: And then he told me he would run away with me, and he didn't! (throws her drink in his face)
      Chandler: And you left the toilet seat up, you bastard! (throws his drink in his face)
      • From the same episode, when listing what is stolen from the zoo, the list is a monkey, a snowy egret, a two-toed sloth, and three hooded sweatshirts from the gift shop.
    • When Monica gives the manager of a restaurant a terrible review, His gripes with her are that she said the food tasted terrible, the service was inadequate, and she claimed they took the Discover card.
    • Played with in The One With Ross' Sandwich, making it more "Arson, Jaywalking and Murder".
      Rachel: He takes naked pictures of us, and then he eats chicken, and then he looks at them!
  • Full House has this line:
    Kimmy: But, Deej, it wouldn't be the same without you. I mean, who am I going to hang out with? Talk to about boys? Copy my homework from?
  • Game of Thrones:
    Varys: [The city bells] ring for horrors... a dead king, a city under siege—
    Tyrion: A wedding.
    Varys: Exactly. note 
  • The George Lopez Show: In "George Goes to Disneyland", George tells Benny that he doesn't want to go to Disneyland because it will remind him of everything else she deprived him of as a child, including birthdays, Christmases, and doctors with offices.
    George: I mean, what kind of a dentist works out of a camper? Mom, I had to spit out the window!
  • Get Smart: During one episode of the first season of the original series, a variation occurs between Max and a KAOS agent. Max: "Harvey Satan? Wasn't he convicted of arson, insurrection, treason and mass murder?" KAOS agent: "He got time off for good behavior."
  • The Good Place: People get an eternity in the Bad Place for murder, arson, sexual harassment... and taking their shoes and socks off on an airplane.
    • Every night in The Bad Place is "classic torture - flying piranhas, lava monsters, college improv. And there was always jazz music playing."
  • Gossip Girl:
    • When talking about the letter Chuck's father left for him along with his will:
      Blair: Your dad wrote you a letter? You have to read it!
      Nate: Yeah, aren't you curious to know what it says?
      Chuck: I think I can guess. "You're a disappointment of a son. I'd die of embarrassment if I wasn't already. Why do you wear so much purple?"
    • Doubles as a lampshade hanging as the fans have often commented on how Chuck wears a whole lot of purple.
  • The TV adaptation of Happy! opens with mock Content Warnings which warn the views that the show contains "Killer Santas, Drunk A-holes, Sick Jokes, Depraved Lobsters, Flying Horses, Weirdos, Strung-Out Unicorns, Cheap Booze, [and] Questionable Hygiene".
  • Heroes:
    Claude: "I spend a lot of time moving around people's homes, their bedrooms. You get to know people if you see them when they think they're alone. You see them for what they truly are: selfish, deceitful, and gassy."
    • According to Sylar, Angela Petrelli's most heinous crimes are attempting to blow up New York, poisoning her husband, and compulsive lying to Sylar.
  • The Horrible Histories' "Words we get from the Vikings" skit: "Scare!", "Anger!", "Berserk!", "Die!", "Cake!".
    • In the Magna Carta rap battle, one of the barons tacks on to the important list of rights demanded from King John in the document that “there’s also some stuff about fishing in the rivers.”
    • Joan of Arc is "guilty of heresy, and wearing men's trousers."
  • How I Met Your Mother:
    Ted: [to Barney] You've dated convicted felons, arms dealers, and pageant moms.
    • In Season One's Halloween episode, Ted wants to reunite with a girl he hasn't seen in four years. Barney warns him, saying, "She could be engaged, or married, or- God forbid- fat."
    • The next episode has Barney have his friends make a "broath" not to infere with his personal life again unless it's a question of his health, national security, or he's about to have sex with a fatty.
    • Robin telling Ted that he always goes after the wrong women: Robin who told him early on that she didn't want marriage or kids, Stella who had a child with Tony, who she still had feelings for, and Zoey who tried to sabotage his career, was married at the time, and wore a lot of stupid hats.
    • And Barney, commenting on the dangers of New York:
      "Please. Faulty elevators, exploding manhole covers, jealous husbands. This place is a coroner's paradise."
    • When Barney was planning his revenge on Marshall in season 6; the board he was working on listed four options: "Poison, cut brakes, frame for treason, and... crank call really late at night."
  • iCarly: "Made of a super-soft, thick luxurious fabric of some sort, the Sack comes in: rash red, mucus green, pus yellow, or blue."
  • The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret : Features this approximately Once an Episode - the intro for each episode shows the title character in a courtroom, where the judge recites a different snippet each week from the many crimes Margaret is being accused of. For instance, in one episode, the charges include "Insurance fraud, breaking and entering, espionage, forgery, embezzlement, perjury, bribery, rubber checking, unnecessary public nudity", and in another, "antisocial behaviour, disruption of national solemnity, money laundering, lewd sexist behaviour, failure to pay for a cranberry juice".
  • In Plain Sight:
    Mary: Actually, I'm in a really good mood, which is kind of weird, considering where I was 48 hours ago. Then I have a witness off herself, and like that's not bad enough, I gotta play second fiddle to a knucklehead like you.
    Marshall: Thanks for lumping me in with kidnapping, attempted rape, and suicide.
  • Jeremiah:
    "They hit us with guns, bazookas, tear gas, tanks, APVs, helicopters, rockets... and I'm pretty sure at least one of them used really harsh language. "
  • In Jessie, after giving a speech about how toys are important and should be treated with care and not just to sell for money, Jessie tells the bad things Simon Sneed did to her childhood doll, Mary: he traded her doll for a cheap movie which is already out of poop and lied about its real value. And Ravi adds that he didn't provide a seat for it, which even the crowd thinks sounds silly.
  • Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: In the segment about Xi Jinping, a news clip is played describing China's new social credit score mentioning that one's score might be decreased by negative activities like "fraud, tax evasion, and smoking in non-smoking areas."
  • Law & Order: In the episode "Turnstile Justice", Lt. Van Buren orders the detectives to arrest two young girls who have been caught on a store surveillance video buying clothes with a credit card stolen from a murder victim. She tells them to add a charge of "felony bad taste" because the girls are wearing white after Labor Day.
  • Law & Order: Special Victims Unit: Somewhat literally in the episode "Avatar", the detectives are trying to find something to arrest a man for before he can flee the country. Said man is suspected of kidnapping, rape and murder. At the last possible second, when it seems that the detectives can't get him for anything, the suspect jaywalks at the airport, giving Detective Stabler an excuse to arrest him. The man comments on the absurdity of it, but it lets them hold him long enough to get proof of his worse deeds.
  • David Letterman: Rarely does a Top Ten List have the top entry as the funniest (the explanation is that the applause/laughter would mute the band).
  • Life on Mars (2006):
    • Gene Hunt to Sam Tyler:
      Gene: You great, soft, sissy, girly, nancy, French, bender, Man-United-supporting poof!
    • Ray Carling in the same:
      Ray: I'm arresting you for the theft of a motor vehicle, resisting arrest... and driving like a div.
  • Life on Mars (2008) (the American one): Ray is talking about the counterculture.
    Ray: That's the problem with a politicized youth, they do things like blow up national monuments, burn down induction centers... make their own jewelry out of seashells.
  • Life on a Stick: Laz claims his girlfriend has a hatred for old people, a hatred "most people have only for terrorists, serial killers, and Jar-Jar Binks".
  • In Lois & Clark towards the end of the episode "Operation Blackout" when Superman flies alongside the bad guy's jeep as they were attempting to drive away.
    Superman: Let's see; satellite hijacking, attempted murder, terrorism and.. oh yes, speeding.
  • Lovejoy: In one episode a Scottish forger living in Italy (in the 1980s) gives his reasons for not wanting to return to the UK as : "Strikes, recession, and Partick Thistlenote  never making the grade".
  • Lucifer: In season 2, episode 3, the eponymous character comments on the state of the body of a murder victim:
    Lucifer: It's vicious work. I mean I reserve this kind of treatment for the truly terrible in Hell. Pedophiles, Nazis. People who put their seats back on a plane.
    • Season 3 episode 10 Lucifer and Maze are discussing the torture of their captive.
      Lucifer: You tried waterboarding?
      Maze: Twice.
      Lucifer: Bamboo under the nails?
      Maze: Do I look like an amateur?
      Lucifer: Nickelback on repeat?
      Maze: That's where I started.
  • MacGyver (1985): The title sequence adds a single shot of MacGyver standing on a street corner enjoying an icecream to a montage otherwise composed of him risking his life performing dangerous action stunts.
  • In the M*A*S*H episode "Out of Gas", the Korean Black Market crooks double cross Major Winchester and Father Mulcahy, rob them of their goods (including the wine and gourmet food Winchester donated), their jeep, Winchester's uniform and coat - humiliating him by making him leave with the Chaplin in his long underwear - refuse to turn over the much-needed pentothal they came for, and, ticking off Winchester further, they drink the red wine with stuffed caprons!
  • In one episode of Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers, where Bulk, Skull, and Kimberly get trapped in a monster cab:
    Alpha 5: Aye-yi-yi! Lord Zedd and Rita have created a Crabby Cabbie! And he's charging double the going fare!
  • From the pilot episode of Misfits:
    Alisha: My friend Chloe did crystal meth and she nearly shagged her brother. And he's really ugly.
    • Also, from much later in the series:
      Alex: And, I shagged all my powers into her.
      Finn: What do you mean, all your powers?
      Alex: I mean all of them. I mean, the power to cause accidents, turning things inside out, hypnotic tits....
    • And from Abby "If he grows up to be a pimp, a child molester or a probation worker, I will kick your ass.". Although the last may be her wanting the kid to survive.
  • Monk:
    • Inverted Trope once in one episode. Randy and Captain Stottlemeyer are discussing why a certain athlete cannot be a suspect and Randy names off one less important reason to remove any motive for the suspect to kill the victim, then says, "Number 2, he's dead," and the third, is that even if he were alive, he had moved to Europe in the late 1980s. The really funny thing about that is, he starts continuing to list them even after that one, but Stottlemeyer stops him.
      • In his defense, it wouldn't be the first time Monk had solved a case with a man believed to be dead. See "Mr. Monk vs. the Cobra," and Sonny Chow, the martial arts guy for that incident.
    • Played straight in the season three episode "Mr. Monk Gets Cabin Fever", when Natalie lists the consequences of Monk not staying in the car like she told him to: she, Monk and Captain Stottlemeyer are under Witness Protection and stuck in a little woodland cabin with Agent Grooms in the middle of nowhere; Natalie's daughter Julie has to stay with Natalie's parents and miss a whole week of school; drug lord Tommy Winn has a price on Monk's head, and... Monk broke someone's car radio antenna trying to straighten it out.
    • In Mr. Monk and the Man Who Shot Santa, when doing an inventory on the toys in "Bad Santa" Michael Kenworthy's bag, Randy rattles off each item, which includes a number of stuffed toys, and a walkie-talkie. Subverted when the walkie-talkie turns out to be the most important thing in the bag.
  • Monty Python's Flying Circus:
    • Inverted Trope, starting on a low note and building up while describing a man's hobbies as: "Golf, strangling small animals and masturbating." Sadly, the "masturbating" part was cut by the censors on ABC in the 1970s either by muting out "masturbating" or rearranging the audio so that way the line just names off "Golf and strangling small animals." (Apparently, animal abuse is okay, but A Date with Rosie Palms isn't — at the time, at least).
    • The sketch "Philosophers' Football," though, plays it straight when the German team contests Socrates's goal: "Hegel is arguing that the reality is merely an a priori adjunct of non-naturalistic ethics, Kant via the categorical imperative is holding that ontologically it exists only in the imagination, and Marx is claiming it was offside."
    • Also, "Blood, Devastation, Death War And Horror":
      Host: And later on we'll be talking to a man who actually does gardening.
    • Well, there's rat cake, rat sorbet, rat pudding, or strawberry tart (without so much rat in it).
    • Also: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam; spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam; or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.
  • The Mr. Potato Head Show: inverted when Dr. Fruitcake lists his latest invention's features: it will cure all known diseases, generate limitless power, and make bussels sprouts taste like cherry cheesecake!
  • The Muppet Show: In the series pilot, "Sex And Violence", a subplot includes an upcoming "Seven Deadly Sins Pagent". During the show, hosts Nigel and Sam are asked if another sin can take part... Wearing Funny Pants To A Funeral.
    Nigel: There's Envy, Rage, Lust, Vanity, Sloth, Avarice, and Gluttony...
    Sam: ...wearing Funny Pants to a Funeral.
  • The Top 5 lists on My Great Big Adventure had a tendency to go this way during the first series, the the Number One tip being Jaywalking. As an example, in the episode "Happiness", the list provide such gems as being surrounded by people that make you happy, giving yourself praise, and doing things you enjoy. The number one tip: tape up your mouth into a smile.
  • Mystery Science Theater 3000: In the final episode of season 10, "Danger: Diabolk", part of the "To Earth" song has Crow singing about some of the dreadful things on Earth.
    Crow: ) The Earth's a big and scary place with wars and crime and death!
    Servo: It is?
    Crow: They listen to Shawn Mullins and Alanis Morrisette!
    Servo: Oh no!
  • NCIS, when Tony and Ziva talk after her time in Somalia.
    Ziva:When you shot Michael, I almost killed you where you stood.
    Tony: I wasn't standing.
    Ziva: No, you weren't. You were lying on the ground, without adequate backup, completely violating protocol...
    Tony: And double-parked.
    Ziva: Yes, I noticed.
  • Neveneffecten: This Belgian TV show has a polar bear listing his hobbies as being: farting in igloos, hitting baby seals on the head and watching them die a slow and painful death, and crosswords.
  • Night Court: In one episode, Mel Torme is brought before Judge Harry Stone on a speeding violation and several unpaid parking tickets. Torme has a grudge against Harry for wrecking a concert of his, and eventually finds himself in contempt of court. As he's being carried away by Bull and Roz, he starts ranting at Harry:
    Mel Torme: "You're a walking disaster! You're a pox on humanity! And your haircut stinks!"
  • The Office:
    • Reversed when Michael, trying to scare his employees into respecting the idea of prison with the character "Prison Mike":
      Jim: What'd you do, Prison Mike?
      Prison Mike: I stole... and I robbed... and I kidnapped the President's son... and held him for ransom.
      Jim: That is quite a rap sheet, Prison Mike.
      Prison Mike: And I never got caught neither.
      Jim: Well, you were in prison, but...
    • For the Steve Martin episode, it was "Seven-Inch Gangly Wrench."
  • Once Upon a Time: The ABC site for this show has brief summaries for each character. According to them, Rumplestiltskin is "cruel, vicious, manipulative and calls everyone 'dearie.'"
  • An episode of Only Connect (UK quiz) began with Victoria Coren-Mitchell saying this:
    Everyone loves a beach movie. The Blue Lagoon, Blue Hawaii, Baywatch the Movie, Dunkirk... And speaking of a bunch of nervous British people waiting and gripped by fear, let's meet the teams.
  • Only Fools and Horses: In the 1989 Christmas Special "The Jolly Boys' Outing", after the Jolly Boys are stranded in Margate following the destruction of their coach, Boycie complains that he might miss the christening of his son, Mike and Sid complain that they have to run their pub and cafe respectively, Jevon complains that he's going to miss out on a date he had arranged for that night... and then Trigger chimes in and complains that his inflatable dolphin got blown up with their coach.
    • Also while on holiday in Spain, Del and Rodney get a call from Grandad that he has been arrested. They visit him in his cell and he tells them that during the Spanish Civil War he was a mercenary who used to smuggle guns for both sides (or in his words 'the ones that paid us the most'). He believes that they are going to put him on trial for these past crimes so Del bribes the guard to turn a blind eye and let them walk out. After taking Del's money, the guard tells Del that the charges have been dropped and Grandad is free to go. Flabbergasted, Del points out Grandad's past to which the guard replies that Grandad was actually arrested for... jaywalking.
  • Orange Is the New Black: Piper gives her summary of the first four episodes.
    Piper: I have been here for less than two weeks. I have been starved out, felt up, teased, stalked, threatened, and called Taylor Swift.
  • An episode of Other Space was dedicated to identifying an alien infiltrator. Though it was guilty of sabotaging the ship and attempted execution of half the crew, when identified the crew is mostly angry about its plagiarism.
  • Parks and Recreation: In the Season 4 episode "Meet n' Greet," Tom creates a campaign video for Leslie that begins with "The year was 1975. It was a time of trouble: Watergate, Vietnam, Peter Gabriel leaves Genesis."
  • Plutón B.R.B. Nero is a Spanish comedy sci-fi series, with the opening narration explaining: "Year 2530. Situation on planet Earth is hopeless. (...) Unregulated construction of semi-detached houses in the North Pole causes the rise of waters, sinking cities like New York, London and Benidorm. The human race survives in overpopulated swampy areas, harassed by epidemics, floods and real estate agencies.'' (Admitedly, real estate agencies had became a real problem in Spain when the series debuted).
    • That series enjoy this trope: In episode 1x10, several characters explain why Roswell is a dangerous alien, with several characters giving information: "He like to tears out people's intestines, and then he eats them." "And, he tears off their nails." "He also likes to drive infected syringes into their eyes." "And he speaks ill of others when they are not present." The latter was Sgt. Querejeta, who has Skewed Priorities .
  • Power Rangers Turbo was considered by most fans nearly a Franchise Killer and "Trouble by the Slice" was considered by most (the cast included) to be the worst episode, but it did have this gem in it, when the Rangers' Turbine Laser failed against Mad Mike:
    TJ: Nuts!
    Justin: Rats!
    Carlos: Drat!
    Ashley: Curses!
    Cassie: Phooey!
    Blue Centurion: Uh . . . fiddlesticks!note 
  • Psych:
    Gus: Some people are just born evil—the kid from The Omen, The Children of the Corn, Chad Michael Murray.
    • Also, when Shawn tries to convince a dejected and quite thoroughly smashed Lassiter that his life/career is not over:
      Shawn: You're a striking man with strong features, eyes that women wanna do cannonballs into, you have great posture and penmanship the likes I've never seen.
    • And from Season 4, episode 12, when Shawn confronts the killer he lists the following:
      Shawn: Murder, attempted murder, conspiracy, unlawful carving of a spruce tree.
    • Someone that Lassiter believes is faking insanity "gave himself all kinds of phobias: fear of loud noises, fear of crowds, fear of saxophones." Then again, the fear of saxophones, which is real, does play a major role in the climax of the episode.
  • Reba: During the Halloween Episode, Barbra Jean discloses the fact that she hired a private investigator to tail her husband during her separation period from said husband: "He followed you everywhere: to your dental office, to the golf course... to that tanning salon you said you don't go to", leaving her husband looking embarrassed.
  • Red Dwarf: From "Back to Reality" in season 5:
    Rimmer: This is a nightmare! I'm on the run from the fascist police, with a murderer and a mass murderer and a man in a bri-nylon shirt.
  • The Red Green Show: In one episode, Red advises teens to avoid doing crime:
    Red: Just say no to assault, break-and-enter, arson, murder, theft, drug trafficking, and... oh yeah, real estate sales.
  • Revolution: In the first season finale, Tom Neville gives Sebastian Monroe a good one, by telling him that he's foolish, deranged, and he has a borderline erotic fixation on Miles Matheson.
  • Road Rampage: This Discovery Channel show once featured a suspect being charged with:
    Judge: Three counts of aggravated assault, lying to a police officer, and making an improper left turn.
  • Roseanne:
    • During one episode of this show's final season, Bev rants about how her ex-husbsand was rude to her children, cheated on her, had horrible table manners...and made her drive an old car with bald tires! The bastard!
    • Since bald tires are more prone to blowouts, which can lead to loss of control and a crash, making her drive a car with bald tires was the one thing that actually threatened her life.
  • Saturday Night Live:
    • One episode hosted by Rob Lowe (from the first episode of the 2000-2001 season [season 26]) inverted this in a news report regarding a lawsuit being filed against the Scooby Doo gang (Lowe played Shaggy and voiced the creepy Scooby Doo puppet used in the sketch, who advocated the "Reath Renalty" for numerous criminals). The attorney representing the plaintiffs noted that the gang had been repeatedly charged with numerous criminal acts, all of which were variants on "meddling". And then he got to the final charge, "sodomy". (He then noted that he was mistaken, and that the actual final charge was "meddling".)
    • In a small short advertising what Republicans think what could happen with the mosque at ground zero, they list "free nationalization for Mexican citizens, state-of-the-art pregnancy termination lab, and an espresso bar."
    • In The Godfather in group therapy sketch, Vito Corleone talks of all the bad things that have happened to him: Mob War, Hauled Before A Senate Sub Committee, the death of his son Sonny, and the ASPCA is still after him for that horse's head stunt.
    • One of the sketches about the mighty salesman Bill Brasky has the Brasky Buddies all pause when one mentions that, in addition to (most recently) hating Mexicans, being half-Mexican, hating irony, and growing a third arm and keeping it in a vault, he slept eight hours a night. That one adds awkwardly, "Well, he was pretty normal when it came to that."
  • Saved by the Bell:
    • In one episode when Slater's girlfriend Jessie discovers he is asking for an old girlfriend's number:
      Slater: Jessie's going to rip my eyes out, punch my face in, then break up with me.
    • At the end of an episode of Saved by the Bell: The College Years when asked if she cheated on a test, Alex cracks and wails "I cheated! I cheated and I lied. I cheated and I lied and I left the cap off the toothpaste! I'm a horrible person".
  • Saved by the Bell: The New Class:
    • In the Season 4 pilot episode "Oh, Brother", what prompts Ryan to plot revenge of humiliation on Nicky while Nicky briefly gains the Big Man on Campus status with the girls:
    Ryan: This guy [Nicky] is moving into my room, my friends, and now Rachel.
    *Nicky sits on the trash can*
    Eric: Don't look now, but he's sitting on your trash can.
    Ryan: That does it!
    • The Season 4 episode "Campaign Fever" begins with Rachel inside Mr. Belding's office regarding her college application prospect. Rachel believes that she should be able to enroll in any college of her choosing because:
    Rachel: I have good grades, great social skills, and perfect teeth.
    • Late in another Season 4 episode "The Kiss", Maria suggests that Rachel should get back together with Ryan after he kissed Mary-Beth, but not before making him pay:
    Maria: I'm talking dinners, jewelry, a BMW.
  • Screenwipe: This Charlie Brooker series did an Acceptable Targets version of this when reading off people who "will be punished" when Charlie takes over:
    Charlie: Yes, they're the sort of dribbling unpardonable cretins that use 'party' as a verb. And when I am in charge and establish my Reich, those people are going to be punished. Along with anyone who breaks wind for comic effect, men who wear flat caps, people who consider the Comic Sans typeface acceptable, and Capricorns. I don't know why I'm picking on them, actually; I think I'm just Drunk with Power.
  • Scrubs:
    Janitor: Now I've been called a great many horrible names in my life: Backstabber, Zebra Poacher...Josh."
    • Also "Their Story II" ends with three of the interns addressing people with; "Hey, jackasses" "Hey, muffin-stein!" and "Hey, Page..."
  • Smallville: "Arrow":
    Lois Lane: Stay away from religion, politics, and bad dye jobs.
  • Seinfeld: In "The Pothole", Elaine is told that the China Panda restaurant will not deliver to her apartment because it is outside of the delivery zone.
    Elaine: Your guy can't cross to my side [of the street]?
    Owner: If we deliver to you, then what? Eighty-fifth Street? Wall Street? Mexico? Eighty-fourth Street?
  • A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017): Two instances happen right in the theme song (both differ slightly from the usual pattern):
    "This show will wreck your evening, your whole life, and your day."
    "There's nothing but horror and inconvenience on the way."
  • Stargate:
    • Stargate SG-1: The episode "Thor's Chariot" has this exchange between Gen. Hammond and SG-1 regarding the Nice Job Breaking It, Hero! situation on Cimmeria.
      Hammond: But let me play devil's advocate for a moment here. It's not our world. Is it really any of our concern?
      Teal'c: The destruction of the hammer device to save my life may have caused this. If so, I am responsible.
      O'Neill: General, I gave the order.
      Daniel: And I fired the staff at the machine.
      Carter: And I ... was there.
    • Stargate Atlantis: In one first season episode, Rodney is about to receive gene therapy, prompting the following exchange with Dr. Beckett:
      Carson Beckett M. D.: [sighs] We believe ATA or Ancient Technology Activation is caused by a single gene that's always on. Instructing various cells in the body to produce a series of proteins and enzymes that interact with the skin, the nervous system and the brain. In this case we're using a mouse retrovirus to deliver the missing gene to your cells.
      Dr. Rodney McKay: A mouse retrovirus?
      Beckett: It's been deactivated.
      McKay: Well, are there any side effects?
      Beckett: Dry mouth, headache, the irresistible urge to run in a small wheel...
    • Stargate Universe: In "Hope", when looking at possible consequences of transplants using Ancient technology, one of the characters lists off, "...infection, high blood pressure, erectile dysfunc... tion..." Cue uncontrollable laughter.
  • Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: When the character Q appeared, he bemoaned the fact that Earth had been much more "interesting" in the past. "Crusades...Inquisitions...Watergate..."
  • Star Trek: Enterprise: According to the inventor of the transporter, "People said it was unsafe, that it caused brain cancer, psychosis, and even sleep disorders."
  • Star Trek: The Next Generation:
    • Q appears again in a variation of this from the last episode:
      Picard: Are you saying that it worked? We collapsed the anomaly?
      Q: Well, you're here, aren't you? You're talking to me, aren't you?
      Picard: What about my crew?
      Q: "The anomaly... my ship... my crew..." I suppose you're worried about your fish, too. Well, if it puts your mind at ease, you've saved humanity... once again.
  • Star Trek: The Original Series:
  • Star Trek: Voyager: During a holodeck-related episode, light-based aliens assume the Flash-Gordon-esque "Captain Proton" game is real and declare war on the fictional villain. The Doctor, acting as the President, has to get them to trust Paris / Proton and rattles off a list of his character's heroic accomplishments, ending with "and a competent medic, but don't tell him I said so."
  • Strictly Come Dancing: When Bruce Forsyth introduces the four judges, complete with witty descriptions, he usually finishes with Craig Revel-Horwood (known for being the nastiest of the judges) and insults him - recently describing him as "a bitter lemon".
  • Suburgatory: They seemed almost to REFERENCE this trope when Tessa, hearing police sirens, wonders if the crime is "Arson? Murder?" but is disappointed when she finds out some dolls were stolen.
  • Supernatural:
    • In the Season 5 TV-parody episode "Changing Channels", the commercial for the fictional genital herpes medication, Herpexia, lists the drug's side effects as follows (as recited by Dean):
      Dean (voiceover): Side effects of Herpexia include permanent erectile dysfunction, thoughts of suicide, and nausea.
    • In season six's The French Mistake, Sam and Dean are being chewed out by executive producer Bob Singer: "You can't come to work on poppers and smuggle kidneys in from Mexico and make up your own lines as you go! You cannot make up your own lines! Good god, what about your careers?"
      Dean: Apocalypse apocalypse? Four horsemen, pestilence, five-dollar-a-gallon gas apocalypse?
  • Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles: Cameron tends to do this whenever someone reminds her to act more like a human. In one scene, she grabs a kid by the collar and lifts him up:
    Cameron: If you call your mother, that man will use her to find you. Then he'll kill her. He'll kill you.
    Sarah: Uh, Cameron.
    Cameron: Would you like a bedtime story?
  • Happens at the end of "A Hero is Born" episode of The Thundermans. Barb lists the three things that happened in the plot that she missed in this order: "So Max turned Dr. Colosso back to a human, Phoebe told Cherry our family secret, and Nora has been banned from the baby store?
  • Tokusou Sentai Dekaranger:
    • A bit more serious than other examples, but Doggie Kruger reads the charges that Ben-G is accused of: planetary piracy, billions of deaths resulting from the first, and kidnapping an S.P.D. officer note .
  • The Tonight Show: After advisors failed to wake Ronald Reagan after the shooting down of Libyan warplanes, Johnny Carson famously quipped, "I understand there are only two reasons you wake up Ronald Reagan. One is World War III. The other is if Hellcats of the Navynote  is on the late show."
  • Top Gear (UK):
    • Presenters Jeremy Clarkson and James May are teasing each other about famous persons who have owned their classic luxury cars. May's Rolls-Royce Corniche has been the car of Elton John and other Camp Gay icons... but Clarkson's MB 600 Grosser has been owned by such notables as Idi Amin, Saddam Hussein, Pol Pot, Fidel Castro, "and Elvis Presley."
    • Another example, from the "What Do They Fear?" Episode in South America:
      Hammond: So, uh... all these insects? Where are they?
      Clarkson: You're frightened of insects?
      Hammond: Yeah, it's like you <points at James> and heights; you're scared of falling off! It's a phobia.
      James: <looks at Jeremy> So what's yours?
      Clarkson: Phobia? Manual labour, you know that.
  • Torchwood: Lampshaded when Jack discusses the rehabs that his old partner John Hart had to attend. To the audience, ending with "murder" as the last rehab sounds fairly serious, but apparently it's a joke to the two Time Agents. Just goes to show that a little perspective goes a long ways:
    Jack: So, how was rehab?
    John: Rehabs. Plural.
    Jack: Drink, drugs, sex and ...?
    John: Murder.
    Jack: [laughs] You went to murder rehab?
    John: I know. Ridiculous. The odd kill, who does it hurt?
  • Torchwood: Miracle Day: Rex Matheson gives us this: "I had a pole through my chest, I was dead, then I wasn't. And then I had to pay for this bridge."
  • Prime Minister Julia Gillard appeared on the Triple J TV show for a very tongue in cheek end of the world speech.
    Julia:Whether the final blow comes from flesh-eating zombies, demonic hell-beasts or from the total triumph of K-Pop, if you know one thing about me it is this - I will always fight for you to the very end.
  • Tugga Bunch: In this Made-for-TV Movie, Bridget finds out that the MacGuffin she's looking for is in the country of Shrugs, causing the other characters to react with fear. When she asks what's wrong with them, Huggins tells her, "Shrugs is a bad place, and scary, and gruesome, and hard to get to."
  • In an episode of Veronica Mars, quoth Cormac, "Between here and Granger, you got... rattlesnakes, coyote traps, scorpions, hippies doing mushrooms, all kinds of bad stuff."
  • Voyagers!: In "Voyagers" (the pilot), Bogg is chewing Jeffrey out and listing the events that could happen as a result of him losing his guidebook: empires falling, wars raging, and Bogg losing his job.
  • The West Wing:
    • After Danny publishes an article on the weaknesses in the Bartlet Administration, C.J freezes him out of the press loop for a while despite the fact he's the White House's Senior Correspondent. When he eventually confronts her about it, C.J. lampshades the trope by listing that the last of his achievements is by far the weakest.
      Danny: CJ, I'm not staying in the penalty box forever. I have covered the White House for eight years and I've done it with the New York Times, the Washington Post, Time Magazine, and the Dallas Morning News! And I'm telling you you can't mess me around like this!
      C.J.: Danny, I just gotta tell you, that was - seriously - that was a turn-on when you said that, though I don't know why you decided to be your most haughty on the Dallas Morning News in that sentence.
    • When Leo returns to work after his convalescence, he is talking to Debbie while waiting to enter the Oval Office and accidentally discovers that she hates being called 'Deb'. When he asks her why she's never told the President, she discusses this trope by pointing out just how weak an issue it is to raise with him considering just what he has to deal with on a daily basis.
      Leo McGarry: Ever tell the President?
      Deborah Fiderer: Hard to work it in. "Sir, the North Koreans just threatened to rain nuclear fire on Japan again, the NASDAQ is tanking, there's a Category IV hurricane making landfall in the Keys, and, oh, don't call me Deb."
  • Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?:
    • In one episode, Greg gives the Chief a melon and Vienna sausage sandwich, topped with peanut butter and mayonnaise, on white bread. The Chief is appalled... that he'd use white bread.
    • The full version of the theme song does this, too. After listing a large number of crimes, including stealing Seoul from South Korea and ransacking Pakistan, the last crime mentioned before the final chorus is "her itinerary's loaded up with moving violations."
    • Don't forget "She put the "miss" in misdemeanor when she stole the beans from Lima" after ransacking, scamming, and pickpocketing.
  • White Collar: Agent Kramer tries to pull a literal version of this trope in the season three finale:
    Kramer: These Marshalls are here to take Neal Caffrey into custody when he returns.
    Peter: For what?
    Kramer: Public endangerment. I've got a dozen eyewitnesses who saw Caffrey hop that tram. Combine that with evading arrest, obstruction of justice... I may even throw in a jaywalking charge for good measure.
  • Who Is America?: Erran Morad (Sacha Baron Cohen) dupes Dick Cheney into signing a "waterboarding kit" that had previously been signed by the likes of Ariel Sharon, Benjamin Netanyahu, and Demi Lovato.
  • Whose Line Is It Anyway?: It doesn't quite fit the pattern, but both the British and American versions of this show have the host announcing each of the players, prefacing each of their names with some sort of title, each title being related... until he reaches Ryan Stiles (always last), at which point the title is related but ridiculous.
    "I think you're a wonderful person: Wayne Brady! I'm just not that into you: Kathy Greenwood! It's not you, it's me: Colin Mochrie! And GET OUT! JUST GET OUT!: Ryan Stiles!"
  • The X-Files:
    • Season 2 has an episode entitled "Humbug", about a series of grisly murders in a community of retired and off-season circus sideshow performers.
      Dr Blockhead: No, in the classical sense The Conundrum is a geek.
      Mulder: He eats live animals...
      Dr Blockhead: He eats anything: Live animals, dead animals, rocks, light bulbs, corkscrews, battery cables, cranberries...
    • Episode "Darkness Falls". Mulder's commenting a slide show and Scully asks about a photo of loggers.
      Scully: Right, but what am I looking for?
      Mulder: Anything strange, unexplainable, unlikely... boyfriend?
  • Yes, Dear: Toward the end of one episode, the Hughes family make amends with the Warner family by giving them things the Hugheses had broken — a laundry machine, a blender, and... the Warners' oldest son.
  • Young Blades: Siroc lists off the side effects of his Love Potion:
    Siroc: I guarantee there will be no permanent harmful side effects. There might just be a little bit of... nausea. And some headaches. And rashes. And diarrhea. And loss of appetite.
    Ramon: Loss of appetite?!
    Siroc: Just kidding.
  • The Young Ones: When they found a nuclear bomb in their kitchen, Rik wanted to use it to make the Prime Minister "do something for the kids":
    Rik: Point 1: Abolish poverty! Point 2: Abolish capitalism! Point 3: Dexy's Midnight Runners playing free, daily, in the University library!


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