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Series / The Adventures of Lano and Woodley

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You stupid little skinny man!

I've got a feeling
I've got a bit of an inkling
This is gonna be one of those days

The Adventures of Lano and Woodley is an Australian sitcom revolving around the misadventures of two somehow-best-friends, The Ditz Frank Woodley and Jerkass Col Lane, who live together in a flat in Melbourne. Lano and Woodley were originally a comedy duo that had had several previous successes and made this hilarious sitcom, although it only lasted 13 episodes.

The show is all about the scrapes they get into in their day-to-day lives, and how they make things worse for themselves.

Full of slapstick, although humour was also derived from witty wordplay.


  • Accidental Kidnapping: The series final is kicked off by the boys trying to fix a botched baby photography job by borrowing the baby from the hospital room, which sparks a panic before they can return him.
  • Air Hugging: From "One Simple Task". Although it's more bum-in-the-air-so-we-don't-have-to-touch hugging.
  • Alter-Ego Acting
  • Annoying Patient: Again from "One Simple Task".
  • Badly Battered Babysitter The last two episodes of the series.
  • Berserk Button:
    • The new neighbour Suzanne is nice enough, but making fun of her s(ch)peech impediment is a good way to start a long-term feud.
    • In "The Pool", Garth Delancey hates being reminded about playing the mascot "Penguin Man".
  • Brick Joke: They are the kings of this. See the end of "One Simple Task," "Starquest," "Tonight You Die," "The Two Men," "Primal Warrior"...
  • Cannot Tell Fiction from Reality: A Running Gag in "One Simple Task". Frank brings up a memory of a holiday at the beach, claiming that Col had an affair with a married woman while her husband was away. Col is confused until Frank mentions, "the war", and realises he's remembering Summer of '42. Frank later brings up "a movie" about two pizza guys getting beaten up by hoodlums, which in fact happened to them only days ago.
  • Casanova Wannabe: Col, at times.
  • Catchphrase: "Love X? Love X? I want to DESTROY X!", "You stupid little skinny man!" and of course the sarcastic "Oh YEAH!"
  • Consistent Clothing Style: Lano always wears mismatched suits with loud patterns while Woodley has a more shabby appearance. As Woodley is socially inept and Lano is oblivious to his own idiocy, it's a fair representation of their characters.
  • The Ditz: Frank, though Col has his moments.
  • Easter Bunny: Averted and Subverted in "The Easter Story". Lano and Woodley do attend Sunday Easter Mass AND have the Easter Bunny... which they accidentally decapitate... long story.
  • "Fawlty Towers" Plot: Lano is a compulsive liar and often finds himself having to back up his claims whenever Woodley prompts him into following through on them.
  • The "Fun" in "Funeral": Col's mother's funeral in "Mother" is disrupted by endless problems with the tape playing her favourite song ("Danny Boy", unsurprisingly).
  • Get A Hold Of Yourself Man: Subverted in "Tonight You Die" - Frank freaks out about dying and Col slaps him. Frank snaps out of it but Col keeps slapping him. Frank tries to slap Col to his senses but all that happens is that they end up slapping each other in a continuous line saying "You snap out of it." "You snap out of it." "You snap out of it." "You snap out of it." "You snap out of it." "You snap out of it." "You snap out of it." "You snap out of it." "You snap out of it." "You snap out of it." "You snap out of it." "You snap out of it."
  • Heterosexual Life-Partners: The two title characters.
  • Horrible Camping Trip: From "Primal Warrior". Subverted in that the horrible camping trip occurs in Col and Frank's apartment.
  • Ignore the Disability: Neighbour Susannah's lisp.
  • I Was Just Joking: In "The Wall", the two have horribly damaged a wall close to an inspection in their apartment, as well as the other side of the wall in their neighbour's flat:
    Col: [sarcastically] Oh yeah, what are we going to do? Make the hole big enough for both of us to fit through, patch the wall from Mitchell's side and then just let ourselves out?
    Frank: ...That's actually not a bad idea.
    Col: ...Yeah, I know!
    Frank: But you were being sarcastic.
    Col: ...No I wasn't...
  • Jerkass: Col - To extremes. And particularly towards Frank. Is regularly seen hitting, insulting and generally abusing his flatmate. But when it comes to the crunch he does care about Frank.
  • Kiss of Life: Woodley almost drowns at the public pool and has to be resucitated by an attractive lifeguard. He becomes madly infatuated with her after that and makes a right fool of himself (more than ususal) trying to woo her.
  • Large Ham: They both have their moments, but Colin is more prone to this, while Frank is more physical.
  • Like an Old Married Couple: Being the more softly-spoken of the duo, Woodley often acts like he's Lano's wife, much to Lano's annoyance. Woodley even asks if he can shower with Lano in one episode.
  • Line-of-Sight Name: Col's imaginary girlfriend "Jenny Window" in the first episode.
  • Mistaken for Dying: Frank, in "One Simple Task"
  • Never Bareheaded: Woodley always wears his red hat, including to bed and while trying to swim.
  • No One Gets Left Behind: Subverted in "Tonight You Die". Col and Frank are fleeing their psychotic ex-boss who is trying to kill them. Frank trips and this exchange ensues:
    Frank: I've sprained my ankle! You'll have to go on without me!
    Col: OK! (makes to leave)
    Frank: No, hang on! That's not how it goes! You're supposed to say "No, I cannot possibly, for you are my friend."
    Col: OK, let's try again.
    Frank: You'll have to go on without me!
    Col: No, I cannot possibly, for you are my friend.
    Frank: I insist!
    Col: Alrighty.
  • Once an Episode: Every episode before the opening credits the duo get fired.
  • Overly-Long Gag: Multiple times, in every episode, usually whilst jumping or moving around the room.
    • The first episode alone has 5 of these, Frank and Col grabbing and shaking each other trying to get the other to "settle down", Col informing Frank that "yep yep yeah" he has had a girlfriend, Col's reaction to Frank talking when he gets a girlfriend, Frank's "I don't want you to go" when Frank goes out on a 2nd date. Also, some of the jokes aren't quite in the "Overly Long" category, but do take longer than you would expect, like Frank acting like he's going to put down a phone, picking it up, and doing that 4 times, as well as another "yep yep yeah" at the end of the episode.
  • Performance Anxiety: Lano talks a big game, but anytime he goes on television he'll freeze up.
  • Pocket Protector: Spoofed in "Primal Warrior". Col shoots Frank in the chest with an arrow. Frank is horrified until he realises that his massive autumn leaf album was in his jacket pocket and stopped the arrow.
  • Running Gag: "Love him? Love him?! I want to DESTROY HIM!"
    • Colin attempting to repeat something hopeful Frank said, only to break into sarcastic laughter.
    • Falling out the window. Normally, but not always, backwards.
  • Studio Audience
  • Sarcasm Mode: Colin. A lot. The most memorable would probably be in "The Wall": Frank is trying to be optimistic about their landlord showing them loyalty over their neigbour and Col responds with a HUGE sarcastic rant, saying that he'll probably drop the rent and renovate the whole apartment. Frank asks whether he's being sarcastic. Col replies "Oh YEAH, I'm being REALLY sarcastic!" which Frank points out is sarcastically wrong and that he should have said "No! I'm not being sarcastic!" Colin then goes into uber sarcasm mode which he can only be brought out of with a Get A Hold Of Yourself Man moment.
  • Saw It in a Movie Once: "One Simple Task." After confusing reality and films with each other for an entire episode, Frank proves his friendship to Col by pulling a Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass, fighting off a band of hoodlums with a back-pack of pesticide spray and a lighter. However it gets spoofed because, after he gives it to Col to have a go, Frank remembers that in the film it blew up and killed the guy, at which point boom!
  • Suspect Is Hatless: "Tonight You Die" has a lengthy gag where Frank tries to ask a video rental clerk about a film whose title can't remember, starring "that actor guy" whose name he can't remember. This goes on for several minutes as Frank drives the clerk nuts, until he reacts with a Big "SHUT UP!". It's not until the end of the episode that he remembers the actor was Gregory Peck, though he still doesn't remember either of the films he was talking about.
  • Who's on First?: In "Primal Warrior":
    Colin: I don't think you're pulling your weight frankly!
    Frank: My name's not Frankly!
    Colin: What?
    Frank: You dropped the Wood!
    Colin: Where?
    Frank: You called me Frankly — my name's Frank Woodley. Frankly, it makes me uncomfortable.
    Colin: What makes you uncomfortable?
    Frank: Frankly!
    Colin: Yes, I'm glad you're being honest with me, what's upsetting you?
    Frank: I don't like it when you drop the Wood!
    Colin: I didn't drop the wood! Frankly, I don't what you're talking about!
    Frank: Don't call me Frankly!
    Colin: Just cut the wood!
    Frank: I'm not cutting the Wood, it's part of my name!
    Colin: Grab an axe and cut up pieces of timber for me!
    Frank: ...Oh okay, why didn't you say so?
  • Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: Frank's phobia of beards in the episode "Game Show God". Cured at the end of the episode.
  • With Friends Like These...: Lano and Woodley (mostly Lano) will physically abuse each other in all sorts of ways and their bumbling shenanigans costs them job after job. They stay together for no other reason than because they're too weird to be anyone else's friends.