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Warp That Aesop: Tropes
WELCOME, ladies, gentlemen, and tropers, to Darth Wiki's Favorite Game Show...

WARP... THAT... AESOP!!!!!

Tropes Round! Ready.... GO!
  • Abhorrent Admirer, Beautiful All Along, Fat Girl, Vanity Is Feminine: There is nothing more important to women than appearance. If you fail in that department for one reason or another, reconstruct your body and face. If you don't, your whole life will be a failure so you can as well start thinking about committing suicide.
    • Any man who loves a woman who doesn't fit the standards of beauty is either insane or an idiot. Or just too poor and too ugly to get a decent woman.
  • Abuse Mistake: If you're doing something to people that doesn't look abusive, it is abuse and you should be ashamed of yourself! However, if people do something to you that's seemingly abusive, it's not abuse, so suck it up.
  • Abusive Parents: If you're a parent who's got some serious issues, take them out on your children to make yourself feel better.
    • Children, if your parents weren't nice to you, respect them anyways. Otherwise, you're bad for not doing so.
  • Accentuate the Negative: You don't really have any legitimate arguments against whatever you're talking about. You're just a complainer, and you know what we say about them...
  • The Ace/Always Someone Better: You just will never be as good as him/her. In anything.
  • Acceptable Targets: Always target these people. Don't question it and never wonder why.
  • Adults Are Useless: Hey kids! Don't go bother telling adults about your problems, because they don't care!
  • Affably Evil, Good Is Not Nice, and Polite Villains, Rude Heroes: Good people are rude, harsh, and abusive while evil people are polite, gentle, and civil.
    • If you're an asshole to everyone, then that means you're a good person. If you're nice to everyone, then you're an evil person.
    • You can be a good person and still be a heartless bastard; you can be the nicest person in the world and still be evil.
  • Alas, Poor Scrappy: Hated characters are better off dead so the fans can start liking them.
  • All Crimes Are Equal: Whether it's murdering innocents, stealing your neighbor's car, or stepping on your neighbor's grass, you will pay the penalty dearly if you commit any of these. That's the law.
    • Also, if you want to keep people on the straight and narrow path, make every crime equally heinous.
  • All Girls Want Bad Boys: All females are bitches because they don't like their guy best friend back.
  • All the Good Men Are Gay: He's polite, kind and showers on a daily basis. He can't be straight.
  • All Love Is Unrequited: Love and relationships between men and women in general are uninteresting if they're not hurtful.
  • All of the Other Reindeer: You deserve to be ostracized from your peers just because you're different from them.
  • Aloof Big Brother, Annoying Younger Sibling, Big Brother Bully, Cain and Abel, The Glorious War of Sisterly Rivalry, Sibling Rivalry and Spartan Sibling: Face it, siblings cannot get along.
  • Always Chaotic Evil, Villain by Default: Some people are just always terrible. Since everyone knows Evil Is One Big Happy Family.
  • Ambiguous Disorder: Mental illness is adorable.
  • Ambition Is Evil: Improving your life is bad and you should feel bad for doing this.
  • And That's Terrible: All Anvils need to be dropped all the time. Viewers Are Morons who will constantly forget when something is Obviously Evil (or "especially heinous"), and need it constantly pointed out to them.
  • Anger Born of Worry: If someone got themselves in serious danger, express your anger as a way to mask your fear and worry for their well-being.
  • Angst? What Angst?: Not being affected by a traumatic event makes you a sociopath.
  • Angry Black Man & Sassy Black Woman: Black people are always portrayed as having a bad attitude or a bad temper.
  • Animation Age Ghetto: All animation is for kids, and if you say otherwise, you're stupid.
  • Anti-Hero: Heroes who are deeply flawed bastards are more acceptible than pure heroes.
  • Appeal to Fear / Appeal to Force: Prove that your facts are true by imposing ultimatums or threats on others.
  • Appeal To Ridicule: Prove that an argument false by being an all-out dick.
  • Appeal To Worse Problems: It's good to guilt people by comparing serious problems (like children starving in Africa) to their problems.
  • Arranged Marriage: Might as well call it slave breeding with a little more freedom.
  • Ask a Stupid Question..., Dope Slap, Enraged By Idiocy, and Surrounded by Idiots: What better way to express your disdain for people than to verbally or physically abuse them for doing something stupid?
  • At Least I Admit It: It's better to be open about doing stupid, cruel, or evil things than to be an outright hypocrite. What's even better is that you don't have to learn from your mistakes.
  • Badass: If you don't fit this mold to the letter, you are useless and shouldn't even have been given a role in this story in the first place.
    • Badbutt: Do you think you're awesome just because you talk smart, hold your own in a fight, regularly save the day without batting an eye, and don't care about being anyone's role model? Sorry. Unless you routinely spout explicit profanity, womanize, and find other ways to piss off Moral Guardians, you're worthless.
  • Bad Boss, Mean Boss, and Pointy-Haired Boss: Your boss is either evil, mean, stupid, or all three.
  • Bald Woman, Boyish Short Hair and Long Hair Is Feminine: Women with short hair or no hair aren't feminine. Short or bald hair means you're a lesbian or something is very wrong with you.
  • Be a Whore to Get Your Man: All the guy cares about is your sex appeal so you should flaunt it, never mind anything else
  • Be Careful What You Wish For: Never wish for anything, there will always been some unforseen consequence that will make you regret it.
  • Because Destiny Says So: If the prophecy is fact, then you should always accept it and fulfill it without question.
  • Because I Said So: Good parents should always give nonsensical reasons (or no reasons whatsoever) why a child shouldn't practice immorality.
  • Being Good Sucks and Knight in Sour Armor: Doing the right thing means that your life sucks. But you should buck it up and continue doing it anyway, because, whether you like it or not, it's always worth it, even if you have to lose your family, friends, and lover because you did the right thing.
  • Best Years of Your Life: Teenagers, if you're being tortured by many people in high school in many ways possible, then that means it's, without question, the best years of your life. If you can't accept this fact, then high school will suck for you even more, and it's your own fault for not making it the best that it should be.
  • Beta Couple: They're there to remind you what you'll never be.
  • Be Yourself: You don't have to change for anyone. Be what you want to be, especially if it's something that your family, friends, and other respectable members of society see as disgusting, offensive, immoral, or etc.
  • Bittersweet Ending: True happy endings have to be mixed with sadness and misery.
  • Black Best Friend: Interracial friendships are never genuine. They are there as plot devices to make white people seem progressive and let black people feel important. The friendship must be rated by how high of a pedestal the white friend is put on.
  • Black Comedy Rape: Rape is hilarious!!
  • Black and Gray Morality: The heroes are a bunch of unlikable douchebags, but we should root for them because the villains are a lot worse.
  • Blue and Orange Morality: Morals that are confusing and highly questionable are more valid than regular morals.
  • Bratty Teenage Daughter: All teenage girls are bratty, self-centered bitches who only care about themselves. Never make them smart or independent.
  • Brutal Honesty: S/he's a honest person. Just ask the people who are hurt by his/her truth. And if they can't take it, then that makes them terrible people.
    • It's better to tell the truth that hurts people's feelings than to tell a lie that pleases them. One, white lies are from the devil. And two, who cares about people's feelings?
    • It's OK to be an arsehole as long as you don't lie.
    • Never try to sugarcoat the truth, EVER!!
    • It doesn't matter how the honesty is received as long as it's received.
    • People who tell the hurtful truth are worthy of our respect while those who tell pleasing lies aren't.
  • The Bully, Alpha Bitch, and Jerk Jock: Hey boys and girls! In order to cover up your insecurities and to assert yourself as a strong person is to sublimating your self-esteem issues into rampant dickery and threats of physical violence. Always pick on the Nice Guy/Nice Girl and make their lives a living hell, even if they did nothing wrong. Plus, they are always in the wrong for fighting back and defending themselves.
    • However, if you're get bullied, something is wrong with you. It's your fault for being a target.
  • But Not Too Black: If there is a light-skinned person of color in any work, it's because the casting directors are racist, Or the casting directors think the viewers are racists. There is no way they could have been cast on talent. No, not even when there are major dark-skinned characters in the same series.
  • Black Sheep Hit: If you only know one song by an artist or band, don't even think about liking it. You only know that song because it's completely different from the rest of the creators' work. At best, you are only appreciating them for their cheap sell-out phase. At worst, you're the reason why none of their other songs have ever been successful.
  • Can't Get Away with Nuthin' : If you do something bad, even though it's nothing compared to heinous crimes such as murder and rape, our great moral enforcers will find you and will punish you!
  • Can't Live with Them, Can't Live without Them: You will miss the character who was paired with you against your will just right before wishing solitude all over again when he's around.
  • Can't Take Criticism: If someone is pointing out your flaws, either politely or cruelly, beat the shit out of them!
    • Also, if you criticize a person, it's going to bite you in the ass, no matter how much you're justified in doing so. Deal with it!
  • Cats Are Mean: Cats are Obviously Evil creatures. Need proof see All Dogs Go to Heaven 2.
  • The Chew Toy: We love to see this character suffer!
  • Child Hater: You have the right to antagonize children and teenagers. They're all nothing but annoying, immature, self-centered, and disrespectful brats.
  • Chivalrous Pervert: It's completely okay to be a pervert as long as you're respectful to the opposite gender.
  • Comedic Sociopathy: Seeing people suffer is funny!
  • Compassionate Critic: If you are being ruthlessly criticized by somebody, then that means they care about you and want what's best for you.
    • Criticizing people automatically makes you a caring person.
  • Compliment Backfire: If someone is saying something nice about you, beat them up!
    • Never say anything nice to another or you will regret it.
  • Conspiracy Kitchen Sink: Television producers shouldn't be promoting skepticism and critical thinking. Instead, they should say that the Crazy Homeless Person on the street is right about everything, and bring fringe theories into the mainstream.
    • The US government is the most evil organization of our time.
  • Contractual Purity: To family-friendly actors, if you're doing normal adult activities, you're jeopardizing your own career.
  • Creepy Crossdresser: Any transvestite who doesn't pull off the gender illusion flawlessly is a fetishist or creepy pervert out to get you.
  • Cruel to Be Kind: In order to be kind to someone, you have to do something so cruel, thoughtless, and insensitive to them.
  • Cruel Mercy: The best way to forgive others is to let them suffer a Fate Worse than Death.
  • Cruel Twist Ending: You have just Earn Your Happy Ending, forgot to tell you about the Diabolus ex Machina that was activated fifteen minutes ago.
  • Crying Wolf: If you lie, chances are that no one will believe you even when you're telling the truth.
  • Cuteness Equals Forgiveness: Cute Is Evil?! No impossible.
  • Dark Shepherd: What better way to led people to the path of righteousness than to act like scary, brutal, and intimidating monsters?
  • Deadpan Snarker: Constantly resorting to sarcasm makes you edgy and endearing. It won't come off as obnoxious or drive away everyone you know at all!
  • Defeat Means Friendship: Friendship is just like slavery!
    • Beating people up is a perfectly acceptable way to form friendships, and will often solve all their mental problems.
  • A Degree in Useless: The only thing that matters when you want a job is experience. Intelligence, skills, and determination don't. If you don't have any job experience, you're useless.
    • ...and thus will never get any job experience because you don't have the experience required to get more experience. So don't even bother looking, you might as well as become homeless and then die just as the way nature intended.
  • Determinator: If you ever fail, it's because you just don't care enough.
  • Did Not Get the Girl: You didn't get the girl because you don't deserve her and you're worthless.
  • Die for Our Ship: How dare he/she like her/him don't you know she/he's pure EVIL!!!
  • Dirty Coward: Being afraid of certain things makes you a horrible human being.
  • Disposable Woman: If a female character is written this way, it's her fault, not the writers.
  • Disproportionate Retribution: Getting revenge on people for the smallest offenses is justified!
  • Dogged Nice Guy: Guys, how many times do we have to hammer it into your thick skulls that women are masochistic deep down and enjoy being treated like shit? If you want her, insult her to her face, contempt her, humiliate her and ignore her. She will want you if you do that. Don't be nice and don't take care of her, it never works.
  • Don't Make Me Take My Belt Off: The best way to discipline your children isn't giving them time outs, but to bring a belt and whip them in their butts to show that you're the parent and you're not going to let them do what they want. And don't hold back because they're smaller and weaker than you. Show the little brats no mercy!
  • Don't You Dare Pity Me!: Never sympathize with people, or they will hurt you.
  • Double Standard: Having a preference in any way on any subject (especially sexuality and gender issues) is just plain wrong.
  • Double Standard: Abuse, Female on Male: Heterosexual women are innately Closer to Earth and should be allowed, or even encouraged to, commit physical and emotional abuse that would get a man in their position arrested.
    • Lesbians on the other hand are pure evil because they don't fall in love with the guy they abuse.
  • Draco in Leather Pants: He/She's so cool, Who cares if he raped and killed children? They obviously deserved it.
  • Dude, Where's My Respect?: Nobody gave you the recognition you deserve? Quit complaining and do your job!
  • Dumbass Teenage Son: All teenage boys are idiots.
  • Dumb Blonde/Blondes are Evil/Blond Guys Are Evil/Slashers Prefer Blondes: You have blonde hair, so there gotta be something bad about you.
  • Dumb Is Good, Idiot Hero, and Kindhearted Simpleton: Stupid characters are morally better and likable than intelligent ones.
  • Eagleland: Americans are either angels or devils. No exceptions.
  • Earn Your Happy Ending: Suffering and misery is required for you to become happy in the latter.
  • Ear Worm: There is no moral. Singers are just arses.
    • Forget about writing a good song; that takes too much work. Just write a catchy hook with a repeated lyric and the masses will confuse catchiness for quality.
  • Easily Forgiven: Who cares what they did? You should always accept them with open arms.
    • You see that school bully who made your life hell in high school? Forgive him or her, no matter what. If you don't, something's wrong with you.
    • Also, if you continuously do very bad things to everyone, know that everyone will always forgive you and forget what you did. It's simple.
  • Easy Road to Hell: If you do at least one bad deed (whether minor or severe), you've just signed your own reservation to go to Fire and Brimstone Hell.
  • Enemies Equals Greatness: If people hate your guts, it means you're awesome.
    • If you hate people, then it's more than likely they will become more successful than you'll ever be.
    • If you don't have any enemies, you suck.
    • Having enemies is better than having friends.
  • Entitled Bastard: Who cares if the person you're helping is an ungrateful jerk? If you stop helping him, then you're a terrible excuse of a human being.
  • Entitled to Have You: Anyone who refuses to return any affections is a jerkass.
  • Esoteric Happy Ending: If an author determines on what is a true happy ending, it's an happy ending. Accept it.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: If you're a villain who has lines they won't cross, that means that you're less evil than the other guy.
  • Evil Is Easy: It's easy to do something that will label you as an irrevocably evil person while it's hard to do something that labels you as a good person.
  • Evil Is Sexy/Ugly Hero, Good-Looking Villain : Good people are so unattractive while evil people are hot!
  • The Evils of Free Will: The reason why there's evil in the world is because of people doing what they want. Let's take their freedom away to ensure a better world.
  • Exalted Torturer: Torture is heroic.
  • Executive Meddling: If anything goes wrong during production, blame the executives!
    • Executives and editors ruin everything. Therefore, because My Immortal had no editor, Tara Gilesbie is an excellent author.
  • Facial Profiling: You can clearly tell someone's race by their features.
  • Fan Dumb: Being a good fan of your favorite type of media means throwing temper tantrums and being overly posessive of your favorite show. Any other fan who tries to correct you for your behavior is childish and stupid.
  • Fan Hater: If someone watches a show you utterly despise, bash them for it.
  • Fanon Discontinuity: Don't like something? Pretending it never happened will solve your problems!
  • Fantasy-Forbidding Father: If your parents want you to be somebody that you don't want to be, go along with it. If you don't, then not only you're a rebellious, ungrateful bastard, but you're also setting yourself for failure.
  • Fat Bastard, Fat Idiot, & Fat Slob: Overweight people deserve the negative treatment because of any or all of these categories.
  • Faux Action Girl: An Action Girl lost to the Hero Killer. What a weak bitch.
    • Silly little girl, trying to fight like a man. Everyone knows women are too weak to fight!
  • Felony Misdemeanor: If someone did something that's nowhere near evil, it's still evil anyways. Don't shrug it off, give them shit!
    • However, if you do the same things, you deserve nothing but being showered by people's righteous indignation, You Bastard.
  • Fetish Fuel: Viewers are perverts.
  • Flame War and Internet Backdraft: The internet is a very unfriendly and unsafe place.
  • Foe Yay: That person who hates/competes with you just wants to have sex with you. If you want them off your back, then you need to get on yours.
  • Forgiven But Not Forgotten: It's okay to forgive others and still give them shit for screwing up. On another spin, if you want to make amends, don't expect others to go easy on you while forgiving you for your bullshit. After all, you still deserve their cold treatment.
  • The Freelance Shame Squad: Laughing at people's misfortunes is fun!
  • Freudian Excuse: If you have a messed up-childhood or something bad happened to you, never move on! Act like a complete jerkass to people who had nothing to do with it!
  • Freud Was Right: Everything is a metaphor for sex. EVERYTHING.
  • Fridge Logic: Thinking is a buzz-kill. If you catch yourself thinking while you watch TV, head to the fridge and get another beer.
  • Friendly Enemy: Real enemies are the ones who treat you like buddies and even going out karting together.
  • Friend Versus Lover: There's no conflict between your best friend and the love of your life? Bitch, please...
    • Men and women only get along if they're having sex with each other. Therefore, the guy's best friend and lover won't get along unless they're seeing each other behind the guy's back.
    • Being in a committed relationship means ditching all your friends and focusing exclusively on your girlfriend. That's not possessive or creepy at all!
  • The Fundamentalist: It's acceptable to force your beliefs on others.
  • Get a Hold of Yourself, Man!: If you want to help others who are in a depressed state, physically attacking them works. Always.
  • GIFT, Internet Tough Guy, and Troll: It's fun to act like a douchebag on the internet, especially when no one will know who you look like.
  • Girl on Girl Is Hot: Bisexual and willing to let me watch and join in? YOWZA!! Real lesbian who isn't about pleasing men? GTFO you useless dyke!!
    • Finding Lesbian intimacy the least bit appealing is vulgar, immoral and insulting... but only if your a straight man.
    • Every woman on Earth should only be attracted to other women for the sake of sexual arousal at the cost of human reproduction and the eventual extinction of the human race.
  • Give Geeks a Chance, Nerds Are Sexy: Males only please. Females? Pfft! Who wants an intelligent woman? Sissies?
    • When geeks and nerds talk about women giving them a chance, they really mean hot women. Anything less than Italian supermodels need not apply.
  • God Is Evil: The universe is run by a vindictive Jerkass, but you should just accept it because Might Makes Right.
  • God Save Us from the Queen!: Women make horrible leaders.
  • Godwin's Law: Any malicious or misleading argument can be lead back to Small Reference Pools of Complete Monsters, and nothing else in History class is worth retaining.
    • Any comparison of an individual to a horrible tyrant or his regime (no matter how legitimate the comparison) is automatically invalid.
      • It's okay to compare real oppression to being disagreed with or corrected.
  • Good Is Boring and Evil Is Cool: Good guys are boring while evil people are fun to hang out with!
  • Hanging Judge: Trying to punish criminals for their misdeeds? You freakin' monster!
  • Happiness in Slavery: Slavery is the pursuit of true happiness.
  • Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?: If someone repeatedly says they're straight, they're gay. People should just make assumptions instead of accepting their declared preference. Unless they say they're gay.
  • Headbutting Heroes: Real heroes don't get along with each other.
  • Henpecked Husband: Fellas (well, straight fellas), this is all you can look forward to in marriage. You don't get be a nagging pain-in-the-ass, only women do. Or to put it another way...
    Greg Giraldo: "There are more whipped men on TV than there were on the Amistad".
    • Men, never get married ever, because your wife will only nag you and cause so much unnecessary stress, so to avoid this problem is to never get married.
  • The Hermit: Choosing to be alone is better than people's company.
  • Heroism Addict: You want to be a hero, but there is no villains. You should create your own villain for you to fight.
  • Hero with Bad Publicity and Villain with Good Publicity: Heroes are hated by the citizens while the villains are loved.
  • Het is Ew: Heterosexual sex is always gross, and people who like it are weird.
    • Sex should purely be for the titulation of Yaoi Fangirls and Yuri Fans. Reproduction? That's crazy talk!
      • MPreg: What are you talking about? With men who can impregnate/be impregnated by other men, who needs women?
  • Hidden Badass: If you do not possess huge muscles, epic facial hair, a Cool Sword and/or a a cool nickname. You won't be taken as a serious threat.
  • Hilariously Abusive Childhood: Child abuse is funny.
    • It sucks to grow up in a well-adjusted, normal household where nothing traumatizing yet funny happens.
  • Hollywood Homely: You are ugly because the media says so.
    • America Ferrera is a hideous troll beast whose only redeeming quality is that she's a sassy latina.
  • Hollywood Nerd: Intelligent and attractive people only exist in fiction.
  • Hollywood Pudgy: If you can't hide behind a traffic sign then You Are Fat!!!!
  • Honor Before Reason: Always do the right thing even if it doesn't make any sense.
  • Honor-Related Abuse: One of your children has brought shame to your family name! Beat them senseless or kill them to rebuild your honor.
    • Sadly, in cultures where this is a thing, that is the intended Aesop.
  • Hot Guys Are Bastards, Brainless Beauty, and Beauty Is Bad: If you are good-Looking, then you are Bad, Dumb, or Both.
  • Hot Guy, Ugly Wife: Hey ladies! If you're homely and you find a nice looking man, you don't deserve him.
  • Housewife: If you're one of those and are happy about this, you're actually a Stepford Smiler in heavy denial. No exceptions.
  • Ho Yay: Heterosexual? What the hell is wrong with you?
    • Any affection two people of the same gender feel for each other means they want to sleep together.
    • Die for Our Ship: If there is a woman anywhere near a potential male Slash Fic pairing, she has to die, get Put on a Bus, or the relationship has to be ended in a fashion that makes her look bad. It is impossible for such a relationship to end in a healthy, mature manner. Women, however, feel no qualms about cheating on their boyfriends with another woman.
    • Ho Yay and Les Yay are strictly for straight people of the opposite gender only, why would bisexuals or homosexuals ever want to see something like that?
  • Humans Are Bastards: No matter what anyone does, and no matter if they're good or bad, the whole world is filled with unlikable, unpleasant, and unrepentant Jerkasses.
  • Humans Are Morons: The same as the above, and in addition, people are so stupid that nobody can ever change this situation.
  • Humans Are White: White is automatically the default race in any situation or setting.
    • If you aren't white in the future, odds are you won't exist.
  • Hypocrite: Never practice what you preach.
  • Hypocritical Heartwarming and Hypocritical Humor: Hypocrisy can be endearing and funny.
  • Hypocrisy Nod and Lampshade Hanging: The first (and only) step in recovery is pointing out there's a problem.
  • Hysterical Woman: Women, don't get angry, ever, because you'll be seen as insane whether your anger is justified or not.
    • Heck women are the only gender to have problems controlling their emotions, and are the only ones who have anger issues. It's not like hysteria and anger problems are limited to other genders too!
  • Idiot Houdini: Being stupid means you can ruin things for others and not get scolded for it.
  • If I Can't Have You: What a better way to show your undying love to murdering them.
  • If You Taunt Him, You Will Be Just Like Him: If a bully picks on you, you should never get back at them. Otherwise, you are worse than Satan.
  • I Have No Son: If your child (or children) has morally screwed up, kick them out of the house and never let them back in.
  • Innocently Insensitive: If you find out that you're unintentionally annoying others and ruining things for them, don't try to correct your behavior. It's the other person's fault for being the victim to your obliviousness and obnoxiousness.
  • Insane Troll Logic: Real logic is for nerds.
  • Insufferable Genius: If you're smart, act like a unlikable jackass to other people just to prove your point.
  • Invisible to Normals: If you can see things that no one else can see, then don't worry, you aren't schizophrenic. Indeed, you should rejoice, because this means that you have super-special-awesome magic powers.
  • It's Popular, Now It Sucks: What do you mean, you don't have to go in the middle of nowhere to find it and now you can have a decent conversation about it? Why would someone want that?
  • Jerkass: In order to make up for your lost self-esteem, act like an obnoxious, arrogant prick.
    • Jerkass Dissonance: Fictional jerks are more likable than real-life jerks.
    • Jerkass Fašade: Act like a jerk to get things done!
    • Jerkass Has a Point: If you're a jerk, chances are that you'll be the one who's right about everything.
    • Jerk Justifications: You have very good reasons for being a jerk.
    • Jerk Sue: Being a jerk will cause others to treat you as the paragon of virtue.
    • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: It's okay to be an asshole as long as you show your nice-interior once in a while just to make sure you don't take your assholery too far.
      • That guy that just called you an idiot is truly the nicest person you'll ever met, probably nicer than just the average Nice Guy.
      • It's okay to be nice only when you want to be.
    • Jerkass Woobie: Jerkasses need hugs.
  • Just Here for Godzilla: Who cares about the characters, story, or moral lessons? We're here for some epic kick-ass action!
  • "Just Joking" Justification: It's okay to offend or insult people as long as it's a part of a joke. If they take you seriously, then they're are sensitive crybabies who just don't know what a good joke is.
  • Kafka Komedy: Making a Nice Guy's life miserable. Hilarity Ensues.
  • Kick the Son of a Bitch: Seeing an asshole do cruel things to another asshole is awesome.
  • Kids Are Cruel and Teens Are Monsters: People under the age of 18 are irredeemable little bastards who deserve no respect from sensible and responsible adults.
  • Knight Templar: Strong opinions are never right.
  • Lack of Empathy: You don't have to show any concern for other people's feelings.
  • Lady Macbeth: Married women should let go of their dreams and ambitions.
  • Laser-Guided Karma: Pay Evil unto Evil is a nature's law.
  • Last Minute Hook Up: Want to have a character go through all the trouble of having their love life practically fall apart on them (regardless if they actually deserve it)? Then come up with some new character and claim they went with them, that totally makes your previous actions A-OK. And for characters whom are receiving this treatment, feel lucky if Word of God gives your new love interest a name and more than one sentence worth of a character summary.
    • If you're dumped or left standing at the alter, you should hook up with the first person of the sex you're attracted to. Entering a long term relationship or marrying someone you've spent little to no time with before is better than being single.
  • Life Isn't Fair: What better way to rationalize cruel and abusive behavior than to say that life sucks?
    • If something bad happens to people, tell them this.
  • Lonely at the Top: Don't be a successful person otherwise you will lose your loved ones.
  • Loners Are Freaks: If you're a loner, then that's because you're a loser, a weirdo, a sociopath, or a serial killer.
    • Also, if you enjoy being alone, you're NOT normal. Having friends is mandatory in society, and you MUST have friends in order to be a normal person, even if you won't enjoy it.
    • If you, your friends, and other extroverted people see a loner, treat them like crap because of it. That way, it'll make them realize that they are wrong for living this socially unacceptable lifestyle and they have no other choice but to make friends and socialize.
  • Loony Friends Improve Your Personality: Being outright annoying to introverted people will make them open up to you and your other friends.
    • However, if you're a loner, you WILL be friends with those egocentric lunatics, whether you like it or not.
  • Made Out to Be a Jerkass: No matter how much they ruined your life. Suck it up because venting your frustrations is wrong.
  • Magic Feather: It's okay to lie to your friend or protege if it raises their self-confidence. Especially if it means sending them to their death or possibly humiliating them for life.
    • The reason it's ok to risk your friend's death or humiliation is because it always works. Every problem is caused by a lack of confidence.
  • Mandatory Motherhood: Because Babies Make Everything Better, everyone ought to have kids. If you don't want kids, then you're either Child Hater or a selfish prick unwilling to give life just as your parents have done the same to you. So you better get some kids if you want to be a productive member of society.
  • Mary Sue: Women should never have flaws, ever. Because they were born to be perfect.
  • Mediation Backfire: The best way for people reconcile their differences is letting them beat you senseless for wanting them to reconcile.
  • Men Act, Women Are, Chickification: Girls are only special because of their inborn qualities and how they present them; they should make no attempt to improve themselves intellectually or athletically.
  • Men Don't Cry: Crying is for sisses.
  • Mighty Whitey and Mellow Yellow: White man + Asian girl = Good. No exceptions.
    • An Asian girl /White boy pairing exists solely because of race. They couldn't possibly love each other.
    • Oh, and of course Asian man + White woman = BAD. No exceptions either.
    • The preference of White man/Asian woman over Asian man/White woman in media is entirely based on the alleged size of each partner's genitalia.
  • Misaimed Fandom: Misinterpreting anything about a work (especially if you do it on purpose) is bad. The author didn't create it just so you could think for yourself about what it means, you know! ALWAYS obey the Word of God, or else you become part of the Fan Dumb.
    • Death of the Author: On the other hand, if you are going to think of your own meaning for the book, you must completely throw the Word of God out the window and assume that the Author doesn't understand anything about their own work. There is no middle ground between these two tropes.
    • If a fan of a work did not understand an aesop correctly, it's the fan's own fault an the fan is an idiot for not agreeing with the message.
  • Misery Builds Character: Being traumatized and abused is good for you while happiness and pleasure is bad.
  • Misery Poker: Never try to voice your frustrations because someone had it worse than you and they won't hesitate to shove it in your face.
  • Moral Dissonance: If you save people from rape and murder, your raping and murder is automatically justified because hypocrisy is always the right thing to do.
  • Moral Event Horizon: If you commit a heinous act, you will never be forgiven, no matter how remorseful you are about doing said act.
  • Moral Myopia: How dare they do terrible things to you? Only you should be able do terrible things.
  • Mugging the Monster: If you have ever been accosted in your life, it's your fault for being so pathetic. Actual worthwhile people, good or evil, can handle themselves.
  • My Girl Is a Slut: Yes, should be praised for sleeping with a different person every day.
  • Names to Run Away From Really Fast: People should be judged by their names.
  • Never a Self-Made Woman: Women are nothing without their male family members.
  • Never Live It Down:
    • Never make mistakes, EVER. If you're constantly pestered about your past mistakes, it's your fault for making them.
    • No matter how much you changed as a person, people will always remember that one time you screwed up and how you were out of character, so don't bother trying to improve yourself because people will only remember your past mistake(s).
  • Never My Fault: If you do wrong, NEVER take responsibility for your actions. Blame it on everyone else.
  • Nice Guy: If you fit under this category, you'll be most likely a lame, boring, pathetic Extreme Doormat.
  • Nightmare Fuel: Viewers I hope you don't like sleeping after this.
  • Noble Bigot with a Badge: That cop who routinely harasses ethnic minorities is really just a Jerk with a Heart of Gold and should be indulged in his every misguided whim, no matter how many people he gets killed or wrongfully imprisoned.
    • No one will say it outright, but his bigotry is usually justified.
      • And when it often isn't, expect someone to see "the light" anyways and completely forget what he's said because he's saved a kitten.
  • No Good Deed Goes Unpunished: Don't do good things otherwise it'll come to bite you in the ass.
  • Nostalgia Filter: Everything you ever enjoyed watching when you were younger was actually terrible and you didn't know it because you were just a stupid child. If you still enjoy these things, you are an idiot.
    • Oh, and reminiscing about your happy non-pop culture related childhood memories is bad too because of all the horrible stuff that was going on around you. Seriously, how dare you spend your childhood being a child! What do you mean you weren't born with the knowledge of the horrors of the world and you actually miss... *gasp* not having to worry so much and having FUN? SHAME! SHAME ON YOU!
    • In other words, looking back on ANYTHING that ever made you happy is just plain wrong!
  • No Sympathy: If someone is telling you about their problems, berate them for complaining, making excuses, unwilling to deal with their problems, or that they brought it upon themselves.
    • Never tell anyone about your problems, because they won't care a bit.
  • No Sympathy For Grudgeholders: How dare you not easily forgive that unrepentant asshole for ruining your life!
  • Not Allowed to Grow Up: Fictional characters that don't age at the same time as their audiences are an abnormality. Never mind that some story arcs can span an entire month or that a season finale and a season premier might be set within the same day despite being months apart.
  • No Transhumanism Allowed: It is both bad and wrong to try to improve your station in life. Your destiny and psychology are determined by your race, and divinely ordained. Wanting to be something better, or even just other, than what you were born as is fundamentally immoral and anyone who is "uppity" enough to want to challenge this is an utterly reprehensible human being.
  • No Yay and One True Pairing: Pairings that I don't like are gross, and if you ship them you should feel bad. People should only ship the pairings that I like!
  • Oblivious to Love: Apparently you didn't notice a person's kindness as affection this it's your fault.
  • Occidental Otaku: Only Japanese people can be fans of Japanese media. Any fan who isn't must be a creepy basement-dwelling weeaboo racist against his own country because it isn't Japan, and convinced that Imperial Japan were the good guys in World War II, because it is obviously impossible that anyone can be a fan of a work from a foreign country and not at the same time be convinced that country can do no wrong.
  • Off the Table: If you change your mind about an offer that you previously refused, chances are that you will never receive it, and it's your own damn fault.
  • Old Shame: It doesn't matter how proud you are of your work, in a few years you'll realize that it's complete crap and want nothing to do with it. Your happiness with something you made won't last.
  • Omniscient Morality License: If a deity does things that are unquestionably dick-headed, it's only for a good reason. Also, if the deity does whatever he wants with us mortals, they will make things better for us in the end, so stop complaining.
  • Only Cool People Matter: Anyone who is cool has the privileged right to be an outright dick to those who aren't cool.
  • Ordered Apology: If someone wronged you, you should always demand an apology from them, even if they're not truly sorry.
    • You should always apologize even if you don't really mean it.
  • Pacifist Run: Violence is for the weak.
  • Parental Hypocrisy: Not wanting your children to make the same mistakes that you made or reprimanding them for them makes you a compete hypocrite, despite your intentions. How dare you try to keep your children on the right path by getting them to not repeat the mistakes you made!
  • Pay Evil unto Evil: Doing bad things to bad people is good.
  • Periphery Hatedom: You have absolutely no right to criticize anything (or even the tiniest aspect of anything) aimed outside your demographic. I'd bet you'd love to, wouldn't you? But you can't. It's not for you.
  • Police Are Useless: Want to gain support for your fictional heroic defender of the innocent? You must first utterly discredit everyone who has ever tried to accomplish the same task in real life.
  • Political Correctness Gone Mad: Legitimately stupid attempts at Bowdlerization justify you saying whatever you want, no matter how offensive or bigoted!
  • Politically Correct History: If you aren't a white, straight, cisgendered male, you did nothing noteworthy in any part of history regardless of all evidence to the contrary. All historical narratives must be written from only a white perspective because that is clearly the only one there is. If one white man didn't see it happen, it must not have happened. Therefore any non-white person or woman must be written out of existence or regulated to demeaning roles.
    • Everything you've been told about history or fiction you've seen set in history is all a big lie cooked up by a Strawman Political of one variety or the other, so don't even bother studying it.
  • Positive Discrimination: Any minority cannot be truly competent, or genuinely skilled in anything. It must be because the creator wants to avoid looking racist. It' can't be because the minority character actually earned anything or the white character is actually worse at the job.
    • It's only okay for characters to be competent if they're a white, straight, cisgendered man.
  • Protagonist-Centered Morality: I'm the hero, I'm making the rules! Anyone whose nice to me is a swell guy.
  • Punished for Sympathy: Being nice and sympathetic to your enemy will give you a swift, well-deserved karma.
  • Rape Is a Special Kind of Evil: You can organize a genocide, torture innocent people to the death, kill children and babies, rob poor people or enslave them, kidnap the homeless to gut them open and steal their organs, as long as you don't commit rape, you're not a bad person at heart and should have a chance at redemption.
  • Real Women Don't Wear Dresses: Weakness and utter incompetence are the quintessence of femininity. Therefore, if you're female, don't behave like a woman, lest your credibility as a competent and useful character be destroyed forever with no chance of coming back. Ever.
  • Real Women Have Curves: Women having a little shape in their body is more attractive. If you're a woman and don't have any curves, no guy would ever want you!
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Making speeches that put down others and making them feel like shit is so awesome!
  • Redemption Demotion: When you turn to side if good, expect a power decrease.
  • Redemption Equals Affliction: Turning a new leaf results in suffering.
  • Redemption Equals Death: If you turn from evil to good, you will die. What makes it better is that you don't have to pay for what you've done.
  • Reformed But Not Tamed: You can turn to the side of good and still behave like a villain or a douche.
  • Reformed, but Rejected: It doesn't matter if you've had a change of heart, no one will ever forgive you for your wrongs, so get used to the mistrust and hatred that you rightfully deserve!
    • If you're a hero, the best way to express righteous indignation is to be an insufferable douchebag to a reformed villain. Never forgive and never forget!
    • Heel Face Door Slam: And don't even try to change your ways, because you will get killed at that very moment if you do (and rightfully so).
  • Reformed Rakes: Only male criminals are redeemable through the love a caring woman. A female criminal will never be reformed to good through the love of a good man because good men would never give her any time of the day.
  • Rejected Apology: Never accept anyone's apology no matter how sincere it is.
    • Holding grudges is cool.
  • Retired Monster: It's perfectly okay to be a Complete Monster who always lives on the wrong side of the Moral Event Horizon and never shows any remorse— you can stop any time you want to, and it's not like you'll get in trouble for your misdeeds or anything.
  • Revenge by Proxy: The target of your vengeance has a family or friends. They are obviously accomplices who deserve to die, too.
  • Rightly Self-Righteous: You have every right to be a dick to everyone who are not as moral as you. If they don't like you, it doesn't matter, because they are always wrong and you are always right.
  • Right Makes Might/Might Makes Right: The morality scale is based on how powerful you are.
  • Ron the Death Eater: He saved the world, he obviously did it so he could take it over himself.
  • "Rule of-" tropes: Viewers Are Morons and will gladly watch anything with explosions, boobs, farts, or kittens.
  • Scare 'Em Straight: The best way to teach kids about good behavior and making the right choices is forcefully pointing out the serious consequences of not following these lessons.
  • School Bullying Is Harmless: How dare you feel traumatized by bullies picking on you when it should not be taken seriously?
  • The Scrappy: If someone shares a different opinion of a character that the majority of the fandom doesn't like, something is wrong with him or her and that person isn't a good fan for liking said character.
    • Characters deserve hatedoms for having the same exact flaws as other characters. If they don't live up to the standards that fans have, they are awful characters.
  • Screw Politeness, I'm a Senior!: Anyone who is 60 and over has the right to be a Jerkass.
  • Serious Business: Anything that isn't that much of a big deal to everyone SHOULD be taken seriously (like getting the last word).
  • Sex Is Cool: Remember kids, touching waste-disposing organs and possibly even risking your health and your goals in lifenote  is the most important thing in life, especially if you're male. If you don't do it, at least before you reach 23, you're a loser. Don't worry, if you're a female virgin, you're much better off than the males. But You Still Need to Get Laid and if you're not interested in playing with waste-disposing organs, then there's probably something wrong with you.
  • Sex Is Evil: Two consenting adults engaging in a premarital safe sex that is of absolutely no importance in order to receive physical pressure or even express love. FOR SHAME!
  • Ship Sinking: A creator of a work should always be as cruel as possible when trying to stop fans from shipping non-canon pairings, even if it means humiliating them at a public convention.
    • Conversly, any creator must be out to get the shippers. They couldn't possibly just not want character A with character B.
  • Slash Fic: There is nothing wrong with objectifying people who are attracted to the same gender.
    • Enjoy the idea two good-looking homosexuals of the opposite sex having intercourse? Clearly there's something wrong with you. How dare you fantasize about a same-sex couple having sex like couples often do! FOR SHAME!
    • Alternatively, making straight people do gay things because it's only the only way straight people can get off is if they watch or think about two gay people having sex because that's just how boring straight sex is.
  • Sour Grapes Tropes: It's better for you to never achieve the things that you want.
  • Status Quo Is God: Things are better off the same as opposed to experiencing positive changes.
  • Straight Edge Evil: Sobriety is evil.
  • Straight Gay: heterosexuality owns being non-campy and masculine and this is how gay men should be, so the straight viewers won't have to deal with these people flaunting it.
  • Sturgeon's Law: That story, picture, show, movie, or song that you worked hard to make and are very proud of? It probably sucks, and You Suck for making it. Chances are, your work is not in the 10% that is actually worthwhile, so just give up.
  • Teeth-Clenched Teamwork: Real teamwork revolves around hating each other's guts until the bitter end.
  • Television Is Trying to Kill Us: Viewers really are morons who believe everything they see on TV, so if TV shows aren't 100% factually correct and the viewers hurt themselves or others because of it, it's the producers' fault.
  • Tempting Fate: If you believe that things will get worse, then it will. And if you believe that things will get better, it won't.
  • The Complainer Is Always Wrong: If all of your friends are doing drugs, you should too.
    • Being your own person is wrong, and you should agree with the views and standards society as a whole, whether you like it or not.
    • If someone is doing their own thing, make them feel like shit until they agree to follow you.
  • Then Let Me Be Evil: Don't expect people to sympathize you for being evil because people accused you for being evil. You don't deserve any sympathy anyways.
  • They Changed It, Now It Sucks: Don't like the fact that they changed something you liked? STFU! You're just a whiny fanboy.
  • This Loser Is You: You suck and we must let you know it.
    • It's awesome to create a character to reflect on your disdain for these low-life and pathetic humans.
  • Token Minority and The Smurfette Principle: The best way to show how not racist and not sexist you are is to collect people of other races, genders, and sexualities like they were items in a scavenger hunt!
    • Alternatively, anytime a body of work has one minority character, it is clearly there to appear not racist or sexist, not because the character might deserve to be there.
  • Too Dumb to Live: If you just happened to make a stupid decision or mistake at the wrong time, you deserved to die and your death should be seen as nothing but a big joke.
  • Tough Love: Parents, to show how much you truly love your children, treat them like shit in many ways possible (usually beating them).
    • In general, treating others like crap will make them better.
  • True Art Is Angsty: Happiness is for sellouts.
  • Tsundere: The only true way to be a perfect match for the person you you love is to have a rude temperamental streak a mile wide. If any other person seems to be openly kind and caring for the person your pining for then don't worry, Happy and Friendly relationships are doomed to failure anyway.
    • Alternatively, if you are a Tsundere, you're automatically an irredeemable, abusive bitch. It doesn't matter if you win or not, some fans won't forgive you for not being as sweet or cheerful as the other girl(s).
    • The best way to write a female character is to make her annoying as possible, and give her a lot of bad redeeming qualities that overshadow her good ones. Only make her develop into a kinder person when it's too late.
  • Turn the Other Cheek: You're a bad person for not being nice to that asshole who made your life miserable.
  • Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: If you are an ugly guy and you meet a wonderful girl who is smart, kind, successful, who shares your interests, and is also hot, STAY AWAY because you're awful, she's too good for you. Don't even think of proposing. It's disgusting, a match made in Hell. That marriage could never should never exist in Real Life.
    • Alternately, if you're a girl, don't dare to expect a romantic partner to be equally attractive. You're the eye candy, he gets to be funny and personable.
  • Underdogs Never Lose: You're fated to win any contest you enter, no matter how good you are - especially if your opponents are rich and snotty. (If you actually lose, it means that you are a villain and thus are doomed to fail in everything you do, ever.)
  • Unfortunate Implications: You should always interpret things in the worst possible way, even when they clearly were not intended in that way.
    • Anything you say or write will immediately be taken as offensive.
    • Oh, and only straight, cis-sexual, middle-aged, in no way foreign white men whose religious beliefs (or lack thereof) are unknown are allowed to be evil.
    • If something can be interpreted in a offensive way then its the only valid interpretation there is of course.
  • Unacceptable Targets: These groups aren't' allowed to be targeted anymore and are left alone...despite the fact that they still have to deal with prejudice everyday.
  • The Unapologetic: Apologies are for sissies. Never apologizing for your mistakes makes you better than those who do.
  • Ungrateful Bastard: No one deserves any gratitude coming from you.
    • Entitled Bastard: ...But grow a set and help them anyways because you're entitled to do that.
  • Unishment: You did something bad. Now your punishment awaits you! Wait, why are you enjoying your punishment?!
  • Unintentionally Sympathetic: You weren't supposed feel sorry for The Woobie.
  • Unintentionally Unsympathetic: You were supposed to feel sorry for The Sociopathic Jerkass because of his Freudian Excuse.
  • Unprovoked Pervert Payback: You took off your clothes knowing he was in the room and it's his fault.
  • Values Dissonance: If you see evil and speak out or take action against it, you're being ethnocentric.
  • Villain Song: You need to be the villain if you want the best song.
  • Vitriolic Best Buds and With Friends Like These...: You can tell they're truly friends because of their constant bickering, heaping insults, and tendencies to kill each other. If your friends don't do things like that, then they were never your friends in the first place.
  • Vocal Minority: If a small group of a people are also more vocal, that's the only part of the group. No exceptions.
  • The War on Straw: If you can't think of a good reason why your opponent is wrong, treat them as though they held a completely different position that is, in fact, wrong!
  • Wangst: If you genuinely feel traumatized by something small, make a big fuss about it.
    • Lamenting on your troubles makes you a horrible person worthy of scorn.
  • Well, Excuse Me, Princess!: Women, if you have a male love interest who is terribly flawed, never hesitate to make him feel like crap about it. Don't worry, he won't break up with you, but if he does, then you don't deserve that loser excuse of a love interest anyways.
  • Well-Intentioned Extremist: If you really believe that a radical idea is for the best, never try to make it real.
  • We Want Our Jerk Back: People are better off jerks than nice people, because nice people are nothing but soft, weak, Extreme Doormats while mean people make our lives complete with their Brutal Honesty and dog-kicking.
  • What Measure Is a Non-Cute?: Being outraged at some asshole killing dogs or cats for shits and giggles is just wrong and hypocritical because a lot of other animals you don't like as much are also dying/being abused in several ways and you can't do anything to stop it.
  • Where Da White Women At?: Black women are overbearing, unattractive, gold-digging, ball-busting harpies. Thus, Black men prefer White women.
    • And in case you're wondering, White man + Black Woman = Not possible. Ever. Doesn't exist.
    • Like the White/Asian counterpart, the reason why White man/Black woman doesn't exist in the media is based solely on alleged genital compatibility. And for those who still don't get it, big penis + small vagina = good / small penis + big vagina = bad. Simple as that.
  • White Male Lead: The reason most show have such a lead is because White people (White guys in particular) are racist, sexist morons who just can't relate to anyone who isn't White and male.
  • Who Shot JFK?: It is impossible for a lone nutcase to kill the President of the United States unassisted, even if he has a sniper rifle and is out of range of the President's bodyguards. Lincoln, Garfield, and McKinley weren't assassinated; they just laid low for the rest of their lives. Anybody who tells you otherwise is part of the evil cabal to deceive you.
    • For the specific theory that the Mafia killed Kennedy: It makes perfect sense that the government knows who killed the President, and will let them get away with this and pin all the blame on somebody else, even though the government was not actually an accomplice to the crime.
    • For the theory that it was the CIA: Bosses should do whatever their employees tell them, because their employees are secretly plotting to kill them.
  • Why Did You Make Me Hit You?: If someone abuses you, it's your own fault for making them do so. Also vice versa.
  • Wimpification: Becoming the Uke in fan-fic is demeaning, and horrible, and utterly derails your character. Who could possibly like that?
    • Straight men: If you have features or show interest in anything less than Testosterone Poisoning, you'll get screwed by a Seme and be forced to Flanderize yourself into a super-effeminate waif who's a complete doormat.
    • Bottoms are pussies.
  • With Us or Against Us and Neutrality Backlash: Not choosing a side (specifically, not choosing the "right" side) is just as bad a siding with the enemy. In fact, not choosing a side makes you worse than any villain committing crimes and you deserve to be severely punished. So here's some friendly advice: choose a side (the good one, specifically)!
  • Women Are Wiser: Women are more mature, competent, and morally grounded than men. Accept it.
  • X Treme Kool Letterz: Poor literacy is KEWL!
  • Yandere: This is a desirable trait in your life partner...your female life partner. Male yanderes are always more yanyan than deredere.
  • Yaoi Fangirl: Only girls enjoy man-on-man action. Straight and gay yaoi fans don't exist. However, everyone loves girl-on-girl.
  • You Bastard: How dare you enjoy this horrible scene we wrote for you to like?!
  • You Have to Have Jews: Goyim who put this trope on a page, no matter how accurate it may be, are anti-Semitic bigots. No exception.

Web OriginalDarthWiki/Warp That Aesop    

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