Warp That Aesop: Western Animation

"Let this beating be a lesson about never attacking those more handsome than one's self."
Benders, Futurama, "Benderama"

WELCOME, ladies, gentlemen, and tropers, to Darth Wiki's Favorite Game Show...

WARP... THAT... AESOP!!!!!

Western animated series round! No films, no orientals, and save any My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic examples for the bonus round! Ready.... GO!


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     In General 

     A - J 

  • Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog: Episode "Sonic is Running" - Just because you're the hero and your opponent in a presidential election is your archenemy, that makes it okay to sabotage his campaign.
    • As long as you are cocky and annoying enough, the laws of physics, logic, and common sense will bend to your will.
      • Looking at the setting and characters of the show, do you think any of those laws even exist anymore?
    • The "Sonic Says" at the end of the very first episode: - Remember kids, dialing 911 is for real emergencies. And being surrounded by a group of thugs who are about to beat the living hell out of you isn't a real emergency.
    • If you're trying to disguise yourself, just put a hat on and claim to be someone else. Your enemies will be stupid enough to fall for it, even if you're a blue hedgehog.
    • You should still go back to your parents, even if they are abusing you and constantly chewing you out of their lives.
      • And telling the local hero about your abusive family won't do you any good. He'll just send you back home to them.
  • Adventure Time:
    • Being an insane sociopath is entirely okay, just as long as your not a creepy old guy or evil.
      • Being an insane sociopath is okay as long as you're hot.
    • The best way to resolve issues with your father is to seal him in another dimension.
    • Its perfectly normal to stalk your friends.
    • Having mercenaries who believe in an unreasonably short statute of limitations capture and guard a dangerous criminal who hasn't deliberately doneanything wrong 'recently' is within the realm of the proper thinking required of a leader of a nation.
    • Dogs can screw unicorns.
    • Princess Cookies:
      • In a hostage situation you should show more sympathy for the terrorist than the hostages.
      • Being a terrorist gets you what you want.
    • It's okay to sneak into your friend's house and watch them shower, just as long as you're a hot chick.
    • Building a Frankenstein's monster from the stolen body parts of women who rejected you is okay as long as you're nice to the monster.
    • If you ever encounter a family of children with various degrees of mental illness being horribly abused by their deranged parent, focus all your energy on rescuing the most "normal" child.
    • It's okay to insult a person's beliefs, treat an emotionally troubled girl like a science experiment, throw a wedding officiant in jail even after he shows his up-to-date paperwork and accuses you of breaking into his vehicle, and generally never admit that you've made a mistake as long as you're a princess.
    • Don't bother trying to write that novel; all it will do is distract you from your dead-end job and upset your wife.
    • The general populace are complete morons and need to closely monitored for their own safety.
    • Being very concerned about the fact that one of your friends is dating a physically and emotionally unstable Person of Mass Destruction makes you a bad person. Being even more concerned about said person forcibly taking control over a kingdom that is openly antagonistic against you makes you an even worse person.
  • The Amazing World of Gumball: Doing nothing but eating but sleeping around while your wife and kids do all of the work is entirely okay.
    • In fact, it's the only thing keeping the universe from tearing itself apart.
    • The only way to get over a traumatic experience is by going through something far more traumatic.
    • Its okay to ruin someone's life over a silly bet.
    • If a kid at school torments you on a daily basis, don't tell your parents, the bully's just having a good time with you and is actually your friend.
    • If your child/sibling says something to hurt their dad's feelings, it's perfectly acceptable to pelt them with cement and deny them necessities such as food and showering in order to teach them a lesson.
    • If someone is a genuinely kindhearted person, then something is clearly wrong with him.
  • American Dad!:
    • Harboring a dangerous sociopath (who has caused the death and other harm to many other people, often with intent, and never with regret, thinks material possessions are more irreplaceable than people) from your government, thereby keeping him around your family and let him continue being a threat to society is both the logical and right thing to do.
      • When said sociopath tries repeatedly to kill you because you offended him for doing ‘’exactly’’ what he told you to do, the reasonable thing to do is subdue him with non-lethal force, frame him so he gets locked him up in the world’s strongest most inescapable prison. When he escapes, by killing several guards and using them as a boat before you can even assure your family that they are safe, you should go into space, when he follows you there, have him get over it, easily forgive him, and let him continue to stay in your home, perhaps because your Genre Savvy enough to know your Plot Armor make you safe and both you and the audience doesn’t care about anyone else. You should not kill this vile well developed character, even though your Plot Armor is certainly stronger than his, if only to protect the massive amounts of poorly developed characters that the writer's and artists barely even spent time on making, because the staff and audience has had alot of time to get attached to him.
      • If God won’t let said dangerous sociopath into heaven you shouldn’t worship him.
      • What you should consider the most vile action this person to date is being with another family
      • If this sociopath feels the need to have power over life and death, you should give it to him.
      • Altruism isn't actually favored by evolution at all. There is no reason why this aforementioned sociopath could not be part of an entire species of similar sociopaths, who, instead of destroying themselves, managed to advance enough to develop interstellar travel.
    • If your business isn't doing so well and you want to collect insurance fraud before you shut down, set the business that is doing well that is next door on fire and let the flames spread to you as to reduce chance of getting caught.
    • A Spoiled Brat deserves nothing less than a beating at the hands of a government agent, even if he spent weeks dying a slow, miserable death trying to redeem himself.
  • Angela Anaconda: if someone wrongs you, don't bother trying sensible courses of action to deal with it. Instead, you should just devise an elaborate if implausible revenge fantasy. When you return to the real world, karma will bitchslap them into the ground for you, and you won't even have to lift a finger unless it's a special occasion.
  • The Animals of Farthing Wood: Hey kids! Never, ever go outside, or you'll DIE — outdoors, children die the first, the most, and never with any chance for their parents or any other trusted adults to rescue them!
  • Animaniacs: It's OK to be a jerk if the person you're being a jerk to is a larger jerk.
    • Chicken Boo: Any effort to evade prejudice against you is doomed to failure.
    • Mindy and Buttons: All loyalty will do is get you pulverized on a regular basis and scolded by your Negligent owners.
    • Slappy Squirrel: Being a senior citizen means you can get away with harming others via explosives.
    • Catcalling at women is just harmless fun! It's not like they'll find it creepy or threatening in any way.
    • Katie Ka-Boom: It's OK to overreact about little things that are able to be solved.
    • Mimes deserve to be violently crushed and maimed.
  • Archer: The World's Most Dangerous Spy is not the most disciplined one, but instead an alcoholic hedonist who just happens to have a lot of gadgets, so drop out of spy school and booze up!
    • If you work with a woman of African-American descent...just don't say anything. She'll find something either racist or sexist in your words and give you crap about it, all the while ignoring comments made by your blatantly bigoted employer.
    • Your wife/fiancée will inevitably cheat on you with someone more handsome than yourself.
    • Anal sex is surprisingly comfortable.
    • It's okay to bring a gun into an office, as bullets magically fly towards that one unlucky bastard you never notice.
  • Arthur: Any form of retaliation against your Annoying Younger Sibling will get you grounded and completely absolve said younger sibling of all annoyance and antagonism on their part. Unfortunately, this can be Truth in Television for some kids.
  • Avatar: The Last Airbender: Remember, kids, murder is wrong, but Mind Rape is a-okay!
    • Murder is wrong, unless it's a random mook off-screen. In which case, fling them off tall walls to your heart's content.
    • It is wise to choose love over power, especially when it's at the expense of many countless innocent people. You'll find some other way, and you don't even have to actively work for it.
      • Or rather love is completely worthless as it's only holding you back from to saving the world.
    • Climbing into a giant bison's mouth is perfectly safe! It's not like he'd accidentally swallow you or anything.
    • Not only is it okay to betray someone who loves you, but then later visit them in their prison cell, beg for advice then throw a hissy fit when you don't get it. They'll hug you and forgive you without a moment's thought in the end if you cry enough Manly Tears!
    • Punch people to show your love for them. It's endearing!
    • Fraud is both fun and profitable, and anyone who says otherwise is just being an old stick-in-the-mud.
    • It's OK for 12-year-old kids and only 12-year-old kids to fight on the front lines of a world war.
    • If you give your enemy a second chance he'll only use it to stab you in the back.
    • Killing a man to take his throne is a power grab that will taint your reign, but killing a woman to do the same is A-OK.
    • Throwing away the sacrifices of thousand, if not tens of thousands, of your countrymen's lives is perfectly acceptable if it's your son that dies this time.
    • Retiring after a lifetime of imperialist generalship to serve tea to the enemy nobility of the peasantry you tired your best to kill or enslave is in no way tacky.
    • The Promise: When in a position of leadership, the best person to ask for advice is the person you forcibly removed from said postion.
      • If you don't agree with the advice of your mentor, permanently cut him off from your life.
    • The Search: Don't be to hard on your mother for abandoning you and your sister (who developed severe mental issues as a result of said abandonment) with your abusive father so she can be with her real loved ones.
  • The Legend of Korra:
    • It's perfectly logical to raise the Messianic Archetype away from society so that she has no clue how modern world works.
    • It's perfectly okay to persecute an entire race of people because of what one dickish member did to you as a child... or if someone Kentucky Fries your mother/wife.
    • All human institutions, be they governmental, corporate, or NGOs, are either malicious, inept, or both. Countercultural forces are no better.
    • Multiculturalism only leads to internal strife.
    • Spirits are always better than people, even as they basically hunt humanity to the verge of extinction and force them to live on giant turtles. Unless it's the spirit of the bastardised western notion of Yin, in that case he's bad.
    • It's more than perfectly okay to ignore your children if they aren't the Benders you were hoping they'd be and not take them on vacations and other trips that have nothing to do with teaching your Airbending child your culture. In no way will this cause resentment to the other children.
    • It's more than perfectly okay to exile yourself from the world and all human contact, especially from your own family, because your youngest daughter broke the law.
    • You spent the last three years working for a crazy dictator? No worries, your friends and family will all forgive you and give you a second chance if you defect, apologize and offer to assist in bringing your former boss down.
    • Confronted with a person with clear emotional/psychological trauma? Thrash them around and tell them they're not really important to the world, act bitter when they don't get it and accuse them of using the trauma as a crutch to not get better. That'll restore some confidence in them. In addition to this, having them mentally relieve the traumatic experience in the first place is a great healing tool.
    • The two people you were involved with in a messy love triangle will fall in love with each other.
    • Its completely wrong to seize power in order to restore order and unite a heavily fractured country that is descending into anarchy. You are much better off staying holed up in your small seculded city.
    • The best person who can help you with your severe mental trauma is the person who caused it.
    • If you're a businessman who hired someone to torch a Cultural Center to ignite a war, built a doomsday device that puts holes in mountains, and constantly mistreat your most loyal employee, you can still be one of the more beloved people so long as you act like Cave Johnson.
      • Also it's okay to be totally oblivious to said loyal employee's affection towards you while you constantly give orders to her. But if you propose to her, you can get back in her good graces.
    • Blood is thicker than water. If you turned your back on your family to wage war, they will immediately forgive you. Your fiance however will be punished.
    • Blackmail your boyfriend into helping you with a suicide mission to save your imprisoned family by saying that if he does this, you'll be together again. Just keep your end of the bargain and no-one will say a word of reproach.
    • Both Series: If you are in a position where you're regularly forced to make irreversible, world-changing decisions, don't get too hung up on the consequences. If you screw up or something goes wrong, eventually one of your reincarnations will make things right.
  • Back to the Future: If you own two noisy time machines, not only should you show your preteen kids how to operate them, but keep the keys in a place where the kids can easily take them. The space-time continuum can handle it.
  • Ben 10: Wandering off alone and messing with unknown and strange objects that fell from the sky will make you into a superhero!
    • Responsible adults like your grandfather won't do everything they can to get a danger magnet of unfathomable power of your wrist, even though he has some knowledge of the dangers you may face. And don't worry about things like serious or fatal injury when fighting crime; your are indestructible and can handle anything, and any damage will go away once you turn back to normal.
    • It's perfectly acceptable for you to have sexual tension with your cousin. People will think it's cute.
      • (Oddly Enough) Likewise to that: It's perfectly normal for any child to have a Sibling Rivalry relationship with almost any other child even with other similar aged relatives they rarely ever see. Because all kids do that.....RIGHT??
    • All aliens are awesome, meanwhile humans don't have any power and suck.
    • Beware of senior citizens, they may seem nice on the outside, but inside they're full of evil.
  • Ben 10: Alien Force: After five years in a harsh and merciless environment, that sociopathic kid who always tried to kill you will have a change of heart and join you when you meet him again for the first time, and eventually become your best friend. Your cousin, who once risked her life to save you from him, will want to hook up with him after just a few days of meeting him again, even though you both know he still takes part in illegal activities. You should fully support this decision.
    • Suddenly have the main character yell the names of whatever alien he turns into because kids aren't smart enough to remember the names unless they're forcefully burned into their heads!!
    • You can have a history of being an unbelievably immature idiot, and you'll still be the only one worthy of wearing the most powerful item in the known universe, even more so than your grandfather, who was known as the greatest member of his organization.
    • Your maturity will ping-pong with the seriousness of the overall story arcs, as will your chances of pissing off your girlfriend and getting cockblocked.
  • Ben 10: Ultimate Alien: Trying to do the right thing will only end up making things worse.
    • It's okay for your friends to use their special abilities while playing a game, but you shouldn't because it upsets your over competitive girlfriend.
    • Turning evil can help you defeat other villains.
    • Listening to that little voice in your head can suck you into an alternate dimension.
    • It's okay to kill people to bring back your father. Might as well destroy Kohona, too! What, is Yuri Lowenthal writing the plots now?! You are voicing Ben, not Sasuke!
    • If you are an immortal blessed with eternal youth thanks to the alien technology of a sword, then you will die in the most abrupt and uncermonious manner without even getting Famous Last Words.
    • Continent-sized omnipresent Cthulhu-like squids can be slain by sucking them into an alien vacuum.
    • If the watch that lets you transform into super, even more badass forms of your aliens, by all means, don't exploit it! Instead, think up a couple of transformations and ignore the rest of the possibilities!
    • If the opening credits showcase all the forms you can turn into, some of which haven't been seen for years, don't even incorporate them into the story so you can let down your eager fans. Instead, turn into Humongousaur for the eleventy zillionth skullfucking time!
  • Ben 10: Omniverse:
    • Even though you want to go it alone sometimes, you will still be forced to meet people you don't really want to meet anyway, and even if you start liking them, they will still berate you.
  • Bojack Horseman: You will forever be defined by the mistakes you made years ago and any attempt to own up to them is an utterly selfish move on your part just to make yourself feel better.
  • The Boondocks: No matter how successful you are, if you're a black man who avoids all negative stereotypes associated to your race, you're a loser who deserves to be mocked and abused.
    • Furthermore, it doesn't matter if R. Kelly recorded himself peeing on a preteen girl, giving out his Social Security Number. and you're showing it to the jury; if you're a black man married to a white woman, you have no credibility whatsoever because apparently you're a racist hater.
      • Likewise, a strong Fan Dumb is a good thing as they will proudly help you get away with any crime. Also, it is A-OK to engage in sexual activities with an underage girl so long as it is consensual. At least, that what the aforementioned Fan Dumb will say.
    • Always be disappointed with everything because even if you see a genuine wrong in the system, public, or family and friends and manage to successfully correct it all that means is that now either the problem is the same only more well hidden or another worse problem has arisen and cannot be easily seen so the cycle of having to correct the problem is most likely never ending.
  • Captain Planet: Kids, all large corporations are run by scumbags who pollute not just to make money but for fun and the only way to stop them is through vigilante action, because cops are worthless and the lady who claims to be a pagan goddess tells you so.
    • Conversely, if you're a giant corporation, you should pollute as much as possible because the odds are those people will be after you anyway and pollution is the only thing that weakens your magical nemesis and, thus, your only hope of running a successful business.
      • Conversely even with that, all polluters are polluting not because they're greedy or stupid but in some reality are all long term OmnicidalManiacs that are actively trying to kill all forms of life on Earth and leave nothing not even buildings standing or water left in the oceans and if they had their way would gladly personally put 2 bullets in the brains of the last Adam and Eve Couple left on Earth so they could go spend all their ill gotten monetary gains.....Where exactly??
      • And yes, this warped aesop includes Adolf Hitler.
    • Just because you're a goddess doesn't mean you shouldn't put kids at risk to teach them aesops about pollution.
    • Pollution is wrong unless we, the studio, are doing it.
    • Tired of not being taken seriously because you're African, Russian, Japanese or South American? Stick a White American kid in the group and that way you'll always be right because White Americans are just that stupid! Whoever heard of being right on your own merits anyway, that's just silly.
    • If you have a pollution-free, solar-powered airplane, the best way to use it for the good of Earth is not to market the technology, but keep only one prototype and use it to ferry a bunch of adolescents around beating up the same few rich eccentrics week after week.
    • Eco-Terrorism is always the answer! Remember, kids; Green Peace are pussies.
    • All CEOs are evil. Except for Ted Turner, of course. He is Jesus.
    • No company pollutes by accident. Every company that's doing it is run by a Card-Carrying Villain who's doing it For the Evulz. Also AIDS scares are a plot by rat people to take over the world. OF COURSE!
    • Even if your the chosen one, you cant actually do anything to help the planet. All you can do to help is summon a super hero with a bad haircut who will fix all your problems. Trying to do anything on your own or with a group of other people will fail and likely put you in danger.
    • Said superhero can easily by stopped by some litter on the floor, a natural resource spilling in the sea or Hitler staring at him.
    • If you have a power that lets you charm or command people, and control/befriend animals into doing your bidding, use it the least effective and limited ways possible so that people can continue to bitch about how lame it is.
    • It's better to be an Affably Evil villain who pollutes than to be a conversationalist bigot.
  • Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue: If you do drugs, you'll get to see your favourite cartoon stars!
    • Smoking weed will cause you to have terrifying hallucinations, and will turn into a zombie when you get older.
  • Codename: Kids Next Door: If adults and teenagers are putting restrictions on the things you can do and being unfair about it, it is only because they are evil and plotting to take over the world. Don't listen to a word they say.
  • Danny Phantom: "Hey, kids! Going into the dangerous and highly unpredictable inter-dimensional portal your Mad Scientist parents built will give you superpowers!"
    • Hurt the environment and your girlfriend will cosplay as Poison Ivy.
    • Hey Kids!! It's better to just eat anything else natural on the ground like Mud, weeds, and grass instead of Any other naturally edible thing on the entire Earth (this includes fruits and vegetables) because even pulling a potato out of the ground or picking a apple from a tree is the same as torture and murder.
    • The epic one: "If you cheat some stupid exam, your family will die, and you'll bring The End of the World as We Know It!!!" And it's your fault, not the Jerk Ass Sadistic Teacher's fault, even though he called your family to a dangerous, bombed place to make a scene and accuse you with no proof or logic, and he was right to do so! Also, said stupid exam will determine the REST OF YOUR LIFE, and you will be a complete loser, working on a lunch shop if you fail, in spite of the fact you're 14 years old and still in high school!
    • It's totally ok to leave your friend to potentially die at the hands of a powerful supervillain because he hasn't apologised for dumping you to go party with the cool kids earlier that evening.
  • Dan Vs.: Revenge is often (but not always) hollow and fleeting... So make sure you keep finding new things to get even with when the buzz starts to wear off. After all, it's not like you or your friends have anything better to do. And if your friends say they do have something better to do, their priorities are obviously skewed. Drag them into your petty, convoluted schemes anyways.
    • You're always justified as long as the other guy started it.
  • Daria: Being a Jerk Ass to everyone who isn't as smart as you and your small circle of friends is the best way to get through high school, even if those people have never said or done anything bad to you.
  • Dora the Explorer: The best way to get anyone to listen to you (even when they're inside the TV) is to scream louder. Louder! LOUDER!!! note 
  • Dexter's Laboratory: It's perfectly okay for you to ruin your little brother's experiments. Now, if he ruins your stuff. He'll get sent to the doghouse. If he gets curious then your destruction is justified.
  • Doug: It is perfectly okay for one person to own almost everything in your town, and for his child to get whatever she wants because of it.
  • The Dreamstone: Dreams are the most important thing in the world, more so than an entire race's well being against a demonic tyrant. In fact, be sure to exacerbate their problem just on the principal of that.
  • Ed, Edd n Eddy, Chowder, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, and probably other Cartoon Network shows: Hey, young boys! Any girl who has a crush on you is a psycho stalker.
    • Isn't that both intended and what young boys think? Try on: Mindless obedience to authority figures is the only way to avoid disaster, unless You Suck so much that you can't even do that right!
      • Aesop of the above justification: Boys should be encouraged to believe Girls Have Cooties! Why bother trying to correct kids on something they believe in the first place, no matter how wrong and insulting it is?
  • Ed, Edd n Eddy: "Your Ed Here." It's okay to make fun of someone as long as someone takes the cake for you.
    • (same episode above) Instead of taking good advice from your friend, just harm him the same way someone harmed you.
    • Repeatedly kidnapping your crush and force-kissing them is the best way to show your love to them.
    • Don't bother being nice to people, you will always share the blame with the guy you befriended, even if you haven't done anything wrong. Or he hasn't done anything wrong.
    • If you live in a trailer, you are either a pervert or a sociopath.
    • If a guy is Camp Straight, he deserves all of the bullying he gets, and is a terrible person for hating his tormentors.
    • If your older brother is stupid, he deserves to be bullied and treated like dirt all the time, no matter how many times he tried to be nice to you.
    • If a Nice Guy is friends with a Jerkass, then he should always be punished along with him, even when he did nothing wrong!
  • The Fairly Oddparents:
    • Accept your lot in life or you will endanger the world.
    • Actually the main warped aesop should be: Never even try to improve yourself either personally or socially nor should you have anyone else even remotely try to help you improve yourself. Because if you do any even small speck of whatever made you happy or better in the first place will be automatically Ripped away from you and/or any attempt in improvement will almost always lead to excessive Disproportionate Retribution via either a Fantastic or Space Whale Aesop that not only will effect you but possibly the entire world right along with you. So you should really just accept both yourself and the world around you even if the world around consists of mostly extreme Physical and Mental abuse from people who aren't even related to you. For the Real lesson is that life (even your own) is not to be changed but simply endured and by enduring it will you become a better person later in life... Wow, that kinda sounds like Extreme Buddhism actually.
    • Racism is always correct and the people you are racist against will act the way you think they will.
    • Getting bullied by a Babysitter from Hell is OK because you can keep your magical friends.
    • Being miserable gets you fairies and you shouldn't try to end your misery.
    • Slavery is acceptable if it's human on genie since genies are tricky, evil and have good singing voices.
    • You can do anything if you're The Ditz and you won't get punished.
    • Insulting the Token Girl is OK if you are a main character.
    • Morality is just Author Appeal from the Writer on Board.
    • Torture your enemies, it's fun.
    • Respect everything but your wife and genies.
    • Keep romantically pursuing the Rich Bitch you have a crush on even when she flat-out admits she doesn't like you.
    • Enslaved minorities should feel Happiness in Slavery. Anyone that doesn't is evil
    • Don't try to achieve your freedom if you are a minority
    • If your true love becomes attractive and you develop feelings for her you didn't think you had before, she is definitely gonna be willing to forgive you for all the crap you put her through when you didn't find her attractive.
    • And let's not forget, even if your parents are neglectful or borderline abusive, you WILL NOT show them the slightest disrespect and if you do, you're a bad kid!
      • More like "always respect your elders even though they are jerks to you."
    • Not thanking your friends for the things they do is horrible and you're a jerk for not doing it. However, wanting thanks and a little recognition for the things you do makes you selfish.
    • And let's not forget; don't be generous at Christmas to your friends, or anyone else, because you're muscling in on Santa Claus territory, at least according to Merry Wishmas and A Fairly Odd Christmas.
    • "Love Stuck!" Heterosexual relationships are the only OTP.
    • If your child is born the wrong gender, feel free to treat him/her like shit. And leave him/her in the hands of a horrible babysitter.
    • Fairies are unable to interfere with true love, create counterfeit money, and stop serving breakfast after 10:30. But assisted suicide is perfectly okay!
      • You cannot wish death on another person, yet erasing yourself from existance is fine and your fairies will not question you.
    • It's okay for others to be mean and selfish towards you, but returning the favor Makes you just as bad, and if not worse than they are.
  • Family Guy
    • Cocking your head to and fro while making nonsense sounds before, during and after sex is a surefire method of contraception and STD prevention.
      • When did they say that? Quagmire is implied to have diseases and have gotten girls pregnant.
    • Why bother trying to be Closer to Earth? If your husband's a whack-job, you have no choice but to go along with it. Doing drugs and shoplifting are two of the best coping mechanisms you'll ever have!
    • Pull the trigger, check the pulse.
    • If you don't like your daughter, make her life a living hell.
      • Keep in mind: your daughter is a woman, but she's the kind of woman you don't want to have sex with. (Unless you do.) Therefore, she's not really worth much as a person.
    • Showboating after scoring a touchdown will get you transferred to a weaker team.
    • Dumb Is Good and FUN!
    • If your idiot husband decides to take a vow of chastity, don't bother talking it over with him. Just rape him. Also, abstinence is bad because people will do stupid things because they don't understand it.
    • Religion is the only thing keeping mankind from progressing.
      • By religion, we mean Christianity. After all, before Jesus, no other religions existed, and the other kinds apparently can't be made fun of.
      • Remember folks, only douchebags who can't accept others beliefs don't believe in god, and if you do believe in god, then you're just a bible thumping idiot!
    • Feel free to hand out weed by the truckload in public. As long as you have a catchy tune, you'll get off scot-free. Heck, you might even get it legalized.
    • It is perfectly okay to hold the town mayor at gunpoint because your cousin can't get married to his boyfriend. Under no circumstances should they just head a few states over to Vermont and get hitched there.
      • It's also okay when one of them is a possibly illegal immigrant who can't speak English, the one trying to marry him is a dog that doesn't speak his language, and their relationship is based entirely around sex.
    • Rape is hilarious!
    • Bullying and child abuse is hilarious!!
    • Always stay with your abusive family members or boy/girlfriend, because they need to treat you badly so they don't go crazy and take their frustrations out on other people.
    • If your husband is falling in love with you via sex line, that means he's cheating on you, and you have the right to be a bitch to him.
    • Once an Only Sane Woman, always an Only Sane Woman, even if said Only Sane Woman has become a cold-hearted hypocrite.
    • Being in the army gives you a license to be an all-out asshole to a couple of people at a bar.
      • You can knowingly spread lifelong STD's as long as you don't deny having the disease when your sexual partner wants to confirm that it came from you.
    • Domestic Abuse is horrible, and you shouldn't endure it. Unless you're Meg Griffin, then you must endure it so your fucked-up family won't turn on each other.
    • If you happen to be a little chunky around the hips, then that's the sole and good enough reason to deny God's existence.
      • If your family is abusive towards you, it's not their fault for treating you like shit, but God's fault for making you live among them!
    • Changing someone's sexuality is wrong, but changing it through artifical means is not.
    • Showing that you're supportive of gay rights is best shown through un-subtly putting in as many offensive stereotypes and jokes as possible!
    • If your father wants to marry you, and you know that he just wants your money, go right along with it for the sake of shallow father-son bonding.
    • "And I'm Joyce Kinney:" Getting revenge on a bully who pulled the most humiliating prank on you makes you a bitch.
      • Bullying and hazing people by pulling their pants down and stuffing a hot-dog in their mouth and exposing them in front of a crowd of students in a gym is just a prank that should be easily forgiven.
    • If nobody likes you because you're not good looking and nerdy, it's your own fault for being different from others! To their credit, it's Truth in Television.
  • Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends: It's perfectly okay to be an insensitive butthead, because your best friend isn't smart enough to abandon you.
    • Despite the fact that, in this universe, imaginary friends are living, breathing, self-aware creatures just as intelligent as humans, it's perfectly acceptable to dump them on the streets to fend for themselves once you bore of them.
      • Or come of age, whichever comes first.
  • Futurama: You Suck and the only way to gain any friends is to time travel to the future.
    • If you make a monkey smart with a hat and your afraid he’ll run off, break his legs.
    • Also if you don't even try to go somewhere even remotely more interesting then where you live now you'll be there for the rest of your life where you wind up with no real friends or family and either they'll just ending up hating more over the decades, or simply abandon you leaving you Forever Alone with no hope of interacting with another kind living human being for the rest of your natural life.
    • The Beast with a Billion Backs: If your rapist proposes to you with a pretty diamond ring, marrying them is the right thing to do. After all, they've apologized.
      • A romantic relationship can only work between one man and one woman.
    • Into the Wild Green Yonder: All living species must be protected from extinction at all costs. Except the Always Chaotic Evil one that is the cause of extinctions in the first place. That one can be obliterated without a second thought, even when it poses no physical harm to anyone.
    • And introducing uncounted trillions of random species from different planets into a single ecosystem will result in a perfectly balanced ecology. Even if those species died out for good reasons.
    • There's nothing wrong with murder. Just as long as Bender gets to "wet his beak".
    • If there's a possible romance between a sweet but functionally useless person and an amazingly capable but insecure person, people on both sides will take exception to it.
  • Gargoyles: If you try to reach out to people, they will attempt to kill you in cold blood.
    • Revenge is a horrible cycle that will haunt you for your entire life. So make sure to never leave anyone alive!
  • The Godzilla Power Hour: "Don't bother trying to solve problems for yourself. Just get the giant monster to do it for you."
  • Gravity Falls: Lying is always okay. Even when you do it for selfish motivation or flee the authorities.
    • If someone is being mean to you, you shouldn't be nice back. Instead declare the person your new enemy and start to hate them.
    • Making people fall in love with each other through magical means is always alright, as long as the effect of it made them happy.
    • If you want your kids to spend their summer out in the fresh, open air, they should be sent to their manipulative, Jerkass, selfish, con-artist great uncle. He's the perfect role model for them!
    • You have a crush on a girl who's 3 years older than you? You should get the hell over her! You should not wait patiently until the time where the 3-year age gap doesn't matter to hit on her.
  • Gumby episode "Pigeon in a Plum Tree": Be a blithering idiot who constantly takes credit for other people's good ideas, and everything will somehow work out in your favor.
    • "Grub Grabber Gumby": Literally stealing food from others won't get you punished. As long as you learn your lesson by having a bad dream, it's perfectly fine.
  • Hey Arnold! If you're a Tsundere who's overly passive-aggressive to your love interest while your Stalker with a Crush tendencies reaches to the point of religious fanaticism, you can still come off as one of the most likable characters if mommy and daddy didn't pay enough attention to you. Instead everyone will hate the overly sweet Girl Next Door.
  • Invader Zim: Every human is an idiot, with a few exceptions, and those exceptions are mostly 10-12 year old kids.
    • If your son is obsessing over paranormal creatures and aspects on a daily, unhealthy basis, you should just shrug it off as him being insane and ignore him. For no reason should you call the Child Psychologist's headquarters or put a restraining order on him, not even when he has summoning zombies or used curses on his sister with your knowledge.
      • Bonus: Don't ever believe your son, no matter how obvious and true his claims are, no matter how solid proof (like summoning zombies), no matter how many years he has gone on and on about it. Don't ever believe what that nutjob says, period.
    • Female-on-male abuse is acceptable and hilarious!
    • No matter how much she loathes every pore of your being, physically abuses you, threatens you to the deepest pits if hell, is self-absorbed and possibly a flat-out sociopath, you should always save your sister because she's family. And after you have saved her skin you should let her continue abusing you, because she's family. Love and respect your family, you selfish bastard!
    • If a chaos-soaked, incompetent and destructive employee of yours come back from his banishment to plead for a job, you shouldn't send him back where he's supposed to be nor tell him the truth, you should just send him away to a place which you don't know will kill him or not (but hope), but the possible outcome is his freedom. Congrats, you're possibly letting him off scot-free!
      • And if they give you an obviously destructive robot for your mission, still believe that they are telling the truth, because they can't possibly want to get rid of you after your havoc-breaking antics that killed tons of people on your own planet, right?
      • And if he survived when he was supposed to die and finds a place to destroy, you should just play along with it. Don't ever tell him that his mission is a lie so you can be rid of him permanently.
    • Always listen to and honor your leaders, no matter how incompetent they are.

     K - Z 
  • Kaena: The Prophecy: Humans Are Special. So if you fight against the MacGuffin that's draining your planet of life and genociding your people to create some humans, you're evil.
  • KaBlam!: Beat up your best friend when you're mad. It's fun!
  • Kim Possible: A strong girl is a good role model... as long as she's not too strong because You Suck.
    • Hard work is good...but you still suck if you aren't The Chosen One.
    • If any part of the Earth is in danger, don't send in troops, don't send in the FBI or the authorities, send in...a teenage girl, then everything will end up okay!
  • King of the Hill
    • General
      • Hank is supposed to be who you should really be. You will always be right, no matter what happens!
      • Likewise-"If you're a college-age female, don't bother to work hard to fulfill your dreams or try to avoid being like the rest of your trailer-trash family. Instead, just marry the local hillbilly and you'll be perfectly happy."
      • It's okay to cheat on your husband/wife. They're too stupid to notice the baby looks nothing like him and that you clearly have a sexual attraction towards the attractive man/woman you've known for years!
      • Anything new and different is evil. The best thing to do is to embrace traditional values!
      • Conversely with that: Accept everything that is new even if what is "new" is sold/operated/controlled by borderline Jerk Asses who are doing those new things for at times their own greedy needs.
      • You can be a Spanish teacher without knowing how to speak the language because White Texans are just that Dumb and/or gullible!
      • If you try to make friends with anyone with dramatically different personal activities then you, all you get is a lifetime of misery and extreme abuse from others by just being around them.
      • If a close friend of yours is suffering from chronic depression, don't let him get any help. He should be a man and rough it out.
    • Individual episodes
      • "Après Hank, le Deluge": In a disaster put a complete dope in charge of the shelter.
      • "Lupe's Revenge": Accidentally kidnapped a little girl when you were taking your students down to Mexico for a field trip? Don't worry, just say some random words in Spanish and they'll let you go free! It's not like there's other evidence to look at.
      • "What Makes Bobby Run": Tradition is always important. Even when it involves entertaining people by being beaten to a pulp!
      • "The Petriot Act": Dogs are the only pet to have! Anything else will just make you miserable!
      • "Serpunt": Hey, ya know that snake your cousin's husband spent a lot of money on and got you for a pet? If it escapes, the best thing to do is to cause a city-wide panic over it and then kill it in the most inhumane and painful way possible.
      • "The Witches of East Arlen": Anyone who is into Tarot cards, Dungeons & Dragons, or has a general interest in witchcraft in general will force you to drink dog's blood.
      • Likewise, nerds are weirdos and you should never make friends with them.
      • "Church Hopping": Christianity isn't about how you act towards your fellow man, it's about where you sit in church.
      • "Business is Picking Up": It's okay to stage a lie to dissuade your son from taking an interest in an unsavory but necessary job that actually pays pretty well. Pooper scooper? That doesn't have the glamour of selling propane and propane accessories!
      • "Hilloween": Christians are insane, paranoid, raving, bible-thumping lunatics who want to brainwash your kids with inane theories.
      • "Uh-Oh, Canada": If a non-American is showing any national pride, he's a complete asshole who hates any other country. An Amercian doing the same will not be called out for it.
      • Canada is very dependent on the US since the former's confederation. It is not like Canada is a force to be reckoned with.
      • "Just Another Manic Kahn-Day": It's perfectly okay to exploit someone's medical condition for your personal gain!
  • Kiwi!! You will never reach your dreams, they are just sad, sad illusions hiding the fact that you are about to hit the ground. Or maybe that is the real Aesop...
    • Only commit suicide if you can do it in an awesome way.
    • Or... if your dreams are impossible to achieve, make a cheap imitation of them in the most self-destructive way possible.
  • Looney Tunes:
    • Elmer's Candid Camera: Nature photographers are evil. Driving them insane is a good way to get them to leave you alone.
    • Rabbit Seasoning: Getting shot in the face is just uncomfortable and inconvenient. And hilarious.
    • Rabbit of Seville: If someone runs onto a stage holding a shotgun, don't be afraid, you're in for a zany, gut-bustingly funny show.
    • Duck Amuck: Screwing with someone for no reason at all just to see how angry they can get is hilarious.
  • The Looney Tunes Show: Its okay to let your deadbeat, slacker friend live off your successes.
    • If a guy is playing hard to get, hit on his best friend instead. Even if his best friend is already dating someone else.
  • Martha Speaks: It's okay if dogs aren't allowed in the country club trip your dog won in a phone contest! Just be dishonest and dress your dog up as your grandma and everything will be OK. And if the club owner finds out, just get on your knees and say it'll never happen again. The owner will say it's OK and start letting dogs in the club! Yay!
  • Megas XLR: If it ain't right, smash it with your giant robot car. Also, as it turns out, in real life, chicks do not dig giant robots.
    • Spending your life playing video games will turn you into a godly mecha pilot and earth's only hope.
    • If the DMV fucks you over, completely annihilate it with your giant robot.
    • It's okay to be destructive and reckless because nothing you do has any lasting consequences.
  • My Life as a Teenage Robot: Your boyfriend deserves to feel good about himself, even if it's completely unjustified.
    • In a pinch, annoying younger siblings will always prove themselves useful.
    • Most high school nerds are supergenius scientists, on par with the greatest minds at NASA.
  • Phineas and Ferb: Trying to stop your brothers from doing dangerous and potentially harmful/inappropriate things is wrong and means you want to eradicate their imagination.
    • On the other side of the coin, if you have the ability to build gigantic constructs that could revolutionize humanity all within a summer afternoon, doing so is unsafe and therefore BAD.
    • Go ahead and do whatever you want, ignore the rules, put your loved ones (and many innocent bystanders) in serious danger of getting maimed or killed, just so you can have a good time. It's okay, you won't get in trouble for any of it.
  • The Penguins of Madagascar: "Hello, Dollface:" The best woman is one who doesn't talk.
  • Popeye: Anabolic steroids are illegal, and you should never use them. Eating spinach, despite causing the same effect, is A-OK, because, you know, it's a vegetable!
    • Or rather, ahem, an HERBAL SUPPLEMENT. (Back when Popeye was first created, "Spinach" was slang for good old marijuana—which was obviously associated with sailors by way of hemp rope, and believed, erroneously, to make you into a deranged berserker with superhuman strength.)
    • If your girlfriend will constantly lust after your mortal enemy and dump you at the drop of a hat, you should always forgive her, but only after pummeling your enemy to a pulp first.
    • The episode How Green Is My Spinach?: Spinach is the only vegetable that is good for you. Broccoli and carrots contain no nutritional value whatsoever, since they're not enough to unlock Popeye's Super Mode.
  • The Powerpuff Girls episode "The Rowdyruff Boys": Hey, young girls! Boys are evil sociopaths who will do nothing but try to kill you, and the only way to get rid of them is to kiss them. Don't be afraid to use your sexuality to get what you want, even if you're underage!
    • Episode "Mime For A Change": Criminals should be beaten to a bloody pulp as punishment for their crimes upon apprehension, even when they're not so much as resisting arrest. Also, doing bad things is always punishable, even if the perpetrator didn't do them under his own volition.
    • "Speed Demon": Never take a holiday/vacation. Ever! Being away from your home for several days will result in everyone you've ever known and loved suffering or Dead, and the evil people in the world will win. Or, if you're really unlucky the devil will take over your city!
    • "Equal Fights": All feminists hate men and are only trying to use feminism as an excuse to get away with their crimes.
    • "Daylight Savings": Education is far more important than saving the world.
    • "Beat Your Greens": You should do what your parents tell you to, even if it leads to the entire human race getting enslaved.
    • "Save Mojo": All animal rights activists do is get in the way of preventing animals from committing evil.
    • "Moral Decay": All acts of greed totally justify your family members teaming up with your worst enemies to beat the shit out of you.
  • The Proud Family: If you have fake friends, never dump them. Keep hanging with them and always act surprised when they betray you.
  • ReBoot: Kids at home, you should not play video games. They literally are Murder Simulators. Countless civilians are killed with each game won. Great Gamers are Mass Murderers. Boy I must sound like Jack Thompson right now.
  • Regular Show: If you work hard you can get what you want out of life. However, you'll be too tired by then to enjoy it.
    • Any problem, no matter how absurd or insane, can be solved by asking the old guy whom you work with for help.
    • "Think Positive" might be the champion for this show. It goes along the lines of: "It's okay to yell at people, because if you don't, you'll destroy everything and everyone around you." To some, this may double as a Broken Aesop.
    • "It's Time": You're obligated to drop anything you've previously had planned if your friend wants to do something with you.
    • You shouldn't get pissed at your employees for continuously slacking off or screwing up simple assignments. You are just being too hard on them.
  • Recess: ("Bonky Fever" episode) You're not allowed to enjoy something aimed at younger kids. note 
    • From "The Bet": If you win a game, you can be an incredible jerk to those who have lost.
  • Rocko's Modern Life:
    • "No Pain, No Gain": If your friend is fat and out of shape, you should be too if you want to be a good friend to them.
    • (Concerning Heffer): People who are young adults and still live with their parents are nothing but spoiled man-children who are simply too lazy to make it on their own.

  • Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: If you're a freak, no one's gonna like you. And if you do finally find a purpose, shut up and be happy about it.
  • Rugrats: Parents, go ahead and leave naive toddlers unattended in large places such as malls and plant nurseries. Even though they don't understand the nature of their surroundings, they're still resourceful and lucky enough to avoid any bad outcomes.
  • Sabrina: The Animated Series: "Upside-Down Town" If you adjust your attitude from being a Jerk Ass to being sweet and likeable, that is not the right thing to do. Instead, revert back to your old self, since we all know you have a Hidden Heart of Gold beneath it all.
  • Scooby-Doo: Courage is for losers. If you possess some courage then you'll become so hated you'll get the trope named after you.
    • Stealing people's food will make you a lovable comedy relief.
    • It's perfectly fine to use the most cowardly people in your group as bait to catch a dangerous criminal
  • She Ra Princess Of Power
    • The famous sexual harassment PSA: Yes kids, if you've been molested just go to your "parents, teacher, doctor, counselor, minister or rabbi" for help, even though chances are at least one of these people is the molester themselves.
      • After all, only strangers molest children, it couldn't possibly be someone you're at all familiar with.
  • The Simpsons : You can be a stupid, childish, obnoxious jerkass who abuses his kids, and takes no notice of your wife, but you won't be dumped unless you cause a huge dome to go over your city. Even that can be fixed.
    • Feel free to be an arrogant, narcissistic, self righteous bitch who severely overestimates her intelligence as long as some of your ideas are correct.
    • If you're a wife and mother, stay in the kitchen, as any attempt from your part to get a job or even a hobby will end in catastrophe.
    • Never (and this applies to a lot of shows out there) try to change your job, attitude, eating/drinking habits, religion, marital status or any aspect of your life, because nobody likes it when you change for any reason.
    • Want to look like you're in your 30s even when you're in your 60s? Follow every law of The Bible to the letter (and even make up a few letters of your own), never make any impulsive decisions, and become so predictable it's like people can see into your future.
    • If food at a supermarket has a toothpick in it, it's free.
    • The Soapbox Sadie/Granola Girl is never wrong.
    • The only way to punish a bratty child is to strangle him,if you don't strangle him,he will become a bully of the worst kind.
    • The Fundamentalist and the most religiously fanatic will not only be successful, he will also be attractive that Even the Guys Want Him. He is also talented in almost everything, athletic, intelligent and he is always an all around better person than his less pious neighbor.
      • Because of all this, any lonliness he suffers must be worth it.
    • If you have a child who's responsible, mature and reasonable, and another who's a insolent, immature tyke, you should always treat the former better, even when her actions are completely unjustified and unfair.
  • Skunk Fu!: If you somehow are blessed with special abilities, whatever you do, DO NOT use them to save anyone. That makes you evil, and you'll end up punished for it.
  • The Smurfs:
    • "The Smurfette": Unless you're a pretty blonde, you're evil.
      • A monogendered race of asexuals will suddenly become straight with the introduction of a female.
    • "A Hug For Grouchy": If you're a grouchy Smurf that does not like being touched, you don't deserve to have your rights respected on Hug-A-Smurf Day because everyone gets a hug, whether they want one or not.
    • "Tattle Tail Smurfs": If you know someone did something wrong, you shouldn't say anything, or else it's tattling.
    • "Once in a Blue Moon": If you receive a mysterious letter from someone you don't know telling you to give them your newborn baby, you'd better comply. Maybe if this stranger takes enough pity on you, they'll allow you to keep the baby.
    • "Happy Unhappiness Day To You": Being miserable will save your life.
    • Nearly any time Brainy Smurf is on screen: It's a-okay to beat up annoying nerds who talk too much.
  • South Park:
    • In general: Grown-ups are far too overzealous to properly handle any problem in current events. Their kids are far more capable of properly analyzing the situation and solving it (well, most of them).
    • "Rainforest Schmainforest": Fuck the ecosystem and terraform the entire world for humanity's convenience. It's not like having some common sense or staying the hell out of it is an option.
    • "Douche & Turd": If you don't participate in every election put before you (even one between two immaturely designed school mascots), you have no appreciation for democracy and deserve an archaic banishment, even if you're just eight years old.
    • "TSST": Friendship and a proper parent-child relationship are two separate things. If you are being "friends" with your child, he/she will become the worst kind of Spoiled Brat possible.
      • How about: dog obedience techniques work perfectly well on human children.
    • Lean to the left? You're a smug-spewing pseudo-intellectual who'll cause more damage than the pollution you're trying to stop. Lean to the right? You're a money-grubbing bigot who is borderline retarded.
    • The education system in Colorado is so lenient that schizophrenic closet-pansexuals can teach impressionable young children.
    • Also, the Board of Studies is okay with teachers substituting actual education subjects with popular news gossip.
    • Asperger's Syndrome is nothing more than a front formed by socially-inept basket-cases to make it seem as if everyone else has a problem. If you know a person who seems gloomy and unsociable, they're just conspiracy nuts and totally not impaired in any way.
    • South Park probably intends for most of their Aesops to be easily warped.
    • South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut: Always go through drastic measures to protect children from toilet humor, even if it means starting a war and dooming the Earth.
  • Spongebob Squarepants (In General)
    • If you have an evil archnemesis bend on stealing your secret formula for delicious burgers, you are justified to use self-defense in protecting that secret... as well as making it your life's goal to not only make sure he doesn't get a single customer if its actually legit business (Plankton's Regular, The Chum Caverns) but also to scare and harass him to the point of suicide by pretending to be a monster (read: whale) that can eat him (One Coarse Meal).
    • If your neighbor dislikes you, and you want him to be your friend, keep pestering him and never let him have any time for himself. He yells at you to leave him alone, how dare he?! What a jerk!
    • Making everyone else's lives a living hell is A-okay if you're the protagonist.
    • Being a jerkass means you deserve all the bad things that happen to you, even when you're not acting like a jerk at the moment.
  • Spongebob Squarepants (Specific Episodes)
    • "Just One Bite": No one likes individual opinions. No one.
      • In another perspective, no one HAS individual opinions, anyone who does are just misinformed.
      • Also, it's perfectly fine to debase yourself for food, no matter how disgusting, your colleagues will happily agree you should.
      • Also also, gluttony is not a sin. It's the social norm. But watch those thighs, they'll explode.
    • "Can You Spare a Dime?": You should never leave your crappy minimum wage job and overbearing paranoid boss. If you try to live out your dreams, you'll inevitably become homeless.
      • If anybody takes advantage of your hospitality by treating your house like its a free hotel and you like a slave, they will face no repercussions for their selfish actions.
    • "Dumped": If you have a cookie in your pocket, you'll gain friends instantly.
    • "Pickles": In the midst of customer complaints, it's a safe bet to check under their tongues first because they're obviously part of a scheme to get you fired from your job. It's common courtesy.
    • "Procrastination": Have a paper to write? Don't bother with it. It's not like the teacher will collect it or anything.
    • "Pre-Hibernation Week": Comfort zones exist for a reason. Anyone who wants to push you out of them only want you dead.
    • "Chocolate with Nuts": If you come up with a good enough lie, people will eat anything.
    • "F.U.N.": Any positive change in someone's personality is a fabricated lie. It's especially the best to ignore them if they want to hang out with you.
    • "Struck in the Wringer":
      • Crying solves your problem!
      • You're a bad person for calling out your best friend for ruining your life and you deserved to be in your unpleasant state.
    • "A Pal for Gary":
      • If your new pet is messing with your snail pet, berate the latter for not getting along with the former.
      • If your new pet turns out to be a monster and tries to eat your snail, sternly tell your snail to "put him down".
      • If your new pet tries to eat you, still berate your snail.
      • After your snail saves your life from being eaten by the new pet and chases it out of the house, don't thank him, but berate him for driving the snail away.
    • "Boat Smarts": Don't follow car/boat safety. Or else you will get seriously injured or killed in the hands of a reckless driver.
    • "Little Yellow Book": You can join in on bullying until the victim gets upset, then turn on the guy primarily responsible as if you have the moral high ground.
  • Star Wars: The Clone Wars: Is the apprentice to whom you are a mentor, commanding officer and a father figure giving you back talk, undermining your authority, charging into battle without listening to you or just plain blatantly disobeying your direct orders? Don't discipline her! She is always, always, always, absolutely right in every conceivable way and you're a jerk for doubting her!
    • Warping the Warp: Don't ever listen to someone who ranks below you in any way. You're the only one who should make decisions even if your apprentice has a point.
  • Strawberry Shortcake: A bunch of preteen girls (and one boy) are perfectly capable of running their own syrupy sweet society without any problems.
  • Steven Universe: You need to constantly lie to your loved ones about their successes and humor their antics. Its the only way to make them have confidence in themselves.
  • Teen Titans Go!: You should go along with your friends increasingly nonsensical antics instead of forcing them to actually take their jobs seriously.
  • ThunderCats 2011: Don't worry if you're still too young and arrogant to take on a position of leadership. If you can wield a magic sword, people will follow you.
  • Tiny Toon Adventures:
    • "Born to be Riled": Impersonating others and making fun of them is just fine, at least until you start making fun of your friends, only then does it cross the line and become wrong.
    • "Prom-ise Her Anything": If someone asks you to the prom you have to go with them, even if you don't want to, no matter how much they stalk you and ignore when you say no, or else you're a horrible person.
      • Alternately, if a stalker is female she is automatically the sympathetic party, and if the male rejects her he is in the wrong. Obviously if the stalker were male it'd be totally different.
  • Tom and Jerry: Remember kids, vermin who invade your house and eat all your food are really just cute, innocent creatures, and your cat is just a big bully.
    • It is okay to steal food if you look cute and loveable while doing it.
    • It's okay to torture someone who's done nothing to you, as long as you don't like them
    • No need to lock up your knives, axes, powertools, firearms, etc. The only damage they cause are some Amusing Injuries that you'll immediately recover from.
    • Heavenly Puss: Whether or not you go to Hell depends entirely on whether or not those you wronged in life will forgive you.
  • Total Drama: Become a criminal like Duncan, because then you will be FREAKING AWESOME... For a while.
    • The nerd's place in life is to suffer under the heels of his betters. Any attempts to upset this balance will only end in disaster.
    • Promise people a party and they'll cheat to help you win!
    • Girl trying to get into a Guy's pants, even though he doesn't like her and she's too ignorant to know?, Wrong!. Guy trying to get into a Girl's pants, even though she doesn't like him and he knows that she doesn't like him that way?, Right!
    • If you stop being bitchy and actually be nice to the girl you accused of stealing your boyfriend.... they will make out behind your back after all.
    • You know that crazy Stalker with a Crush that obsessively wanted to marry you? Don't bother with restraining orders! Just tell her you want to be her best friend and everything will be A-OK!
      • Alternately: That cute guy whom you have a crush on? Yeah, just obsess over him to the point of stalking and he'll eventually give in...somewhat.
    • Anyone who plays to his/her advantage in a competitive gameshow deserves to be struck by karma.
    • Never fall in love. If you fall in love, chances are you'll simply get your heart stomped on and crushed brutally.
      • The only person who could ever love a fat guy (no matter how nice said fat guy is) is someone who is completely and utterly insane.
    • Homeschooled kids are losers.
      • Also, homeschooling is ineffective at teaching social skills. If you try it, your kid will become a sexist and an outcast.
    • If the girl of your dreams chooses another, don't move on, punch out the S.O.B. who stole her from you!
    • A one-in-15-or-22 chance at winning a large cash prize is totally worth having to endure mind-grueling, disgusting, body-taxing, possibly fatal challenges at the hands of a sadistic Reality Show host, even if those challenges include diving of a 1000 ft. cliff into what is believed to be a safe spot in shark-infested waters, or scaling an active volcano.
    • If things don't go your way, whine about it and throw tantrums. Also, always threaten to sue to get what you want.
      • Alternately, if someone cheats and it gets you kicked out of a reality show, suing makes you/proves you are a jerk.
  • Transformers: Everything around you mechanical could be an alien bent on killing you and everyone you know and love.
    • If you had a doppelganger, race with them.
    • ROTF: Even if you have a smoking hot girlfriend that wants to be with you always and a cool car that can turn into a robot, none of that matters as long as you leave them behind and go to college to study astronomy.
    • When a conflict you have nothing to do with suddenly drops onto your world, your only hope for survival is to immediately run to the less aggressive side of the war and beg them for protection.
  • Transformers Animated: Always be a complete ass to people. No matter how many times they help you out, even when you deserve what's coming to you, keep treating them like garbage. Adding in a bit of racism helps, too! You'll one day become the leader. Otherwise, you'll become a glorified janitor who leads a squad of losers.
    • Being a hero will get you killed.
  • Twas The Night Before Christmas: Don't bother trying to discover how the world around you works. It's much better to just make shit up and pass it off as the truth. Become upset with anyone who no longer believes, because anyone trying to seek the truth is a troublemaker who's too smart for their own good.
    • Intelligent people are jerks.
  • The Venture Bros.: You suck, you suck you suck you suck everyone sucks!
    • Sooooo, where's the warping?
      • Venture Brothers has already reached the Warping Event Horizon on its own, no further warping is possible.
      • Actually the main warped aseops in this show can be explained..
      • 1. No matter what you do in life (earn a masters degree in college, gain super powers, invent gadgets beyond anything in Real Life science) you will never get any real respect from anyone...Ever and will continue to be treated as a failure. Also you may never get any real money earning jobs from your achievement(s) either.
      • 2. Any wrong you may have done at any point in your life (Including Infancy) will eat at you to the point of mentally or socially effecting you and will not go away until you come clean with what you did. And even then even if you tell anyone about it they might not make you feel better about or they'll make it worse.
  • Wallace & Gromit: the most responsible member of any family is the dog.
  • The World of David the Gnome: All trees are dead gnomes.
    • "The Pond in the Forest": Drowning your foes is hilarious, because they're Always Chaotic Evil anyway.
  • Xiaolin Showdown: It's perfectly okay to take preteens from their families to a remote temple in China and teach them martial arts.
    • It is equally okay to send these same kids out to fight the forces of evil all around the world, even after only a day or so of training.
    • If the enemy is annoying enough, it is perfectly acceptable to beat them up for fun. Trying to befriend them is crazy. Even if they sincerely turn good, they should be rejected. Feel free to call it "your hobby." Stealing their clothes and ripping out their hair is also A-Okay! If magical means turn them into the epitome of good, they will be even more annoying then before and you should change them back so you won't feel even the smallest hint of guilt as you continue to beat them up.
    • If you're billed as the main character, you're not The Chosen One. That's because you look like Krillin and therefore share the same luck as him. And if you can't handle the truth, mess with magical artifacts that either turn you evil or freeze you for 85 years!
    • If you ever learn how to rid the world of evil permanently, you should never do it. If you do, it will turn out that an evil person was actually manipulating you into destroying goodness forever instead.
    • Legumes are evil incarnate.
  • X-Men: Evolution: Remember guys, if you suddenly develop a crush on a girl, act like a creepy jealous stalker, try to reveal their biggest secret, nearly get them killed from a riot YOU caused and then save them at the last minute, they'll forget everything you did and start dating you.
    • Alternatively, If someone whose like a little sister to you starts dating someone you know is bad news, and has tried to kill you and her in the past, show them nothing but trust and kindness, even when they act as suspicious or lazy as possible, because otherwise people will think you're a bossy jerk who needs to die.
    • Don't get torn between two guys, people will think you're a WHORE!
    • Act as sociopathic and egocentric as possible, and date multiple girls at the same time, people will think you're hot for it.
    • Don't have a stupid haircut or a rivalry with someone who betrayed you beyond reason, people will think you're a complete idiot.
    • If you're a bullying jerk, pretend to be nice to get a girlfriend, maybe do one or two good deeds, women will forget/deny you were anything but a perfectly pure cutie who just got misunderstood.
    • If you have a talent that others don't, do not try to test it to its full potential, giant, bloodthirsty reptiles from HELL will come to eat your face.
  • Young Justice:
    • Diving headfirst into a ridiculously dangerous situation is a good way to convince your elders to see you as an adult.
    • Child Soldiers are the perfect secret weapon. Send them out to fight the worst of the worst and be amazed at how they solve all your problems for you.
    • If you have serious personal issues about your cloned child-by-proxy-rape, then you're being an unreasonable asshole.
    • Behind every capable black leader is a white guy everyone expects to step up and do a better job.
    • A boy with two Dads will eventually abuse drugs.
    • There's nothing creepy at all about someone confirmed to be in their 40s dating someone less than a year old!
    • Everything you do in an attempt to fight will only play right into their hands. Everything.
    • Mind Rape is wrong. Unless you use it against bad guys, in which case, go nuts.
    • Do not let your allies in on your plan, even if said plan involves making one of your major teammates a Fake Defector and faking the death of one of your closest friends. Also your teammates and friends will quickly forgive you once you reveal said plan to them.