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Horrible: Western Animation |
We know that there are certain things you probably shouldn't let your kids watch, but let's be honest...wouldn't it be equally as bad to subject them to cartoons like these?
Important Note: Merely being offensive in its subject matter is not enough to justify a work as So Bad It's Horrible. Hard as it is to imagine at times, there is a market for all types of deviancy (no matter how small a niche it is). It has to fail to appeal even to that niche to qualify as this.
- Dingo Pictures is a "super-budget" producer of animated rip-offs of (mostly) Disney films such as 101 Dalmatians, Hercules, The Lion King and Aladdin. Their plagiarism is overshadowed by the films' animation, which is so colossally awful on every level that they make the Zelda CD-i games look good. Seriously, just look at their film trailers.
- It gets worse: search on YouTube for some of the song portions. "Soraya Oh Soraya" from "Aladdin" in particular stands out as horrible with its 1995 GeoCities MIDI background track, off-key wailing, and ridiculous crying animals. Also, there's a tree branch not connected to anything. It's like a tree void. And then, two seconds later, there is a bodiless camel.
- And as if that weren't enough, several of their cartoons were released on PlayStation 2 by a company known as Phoenix Games, with English dubs so awful they're bordering on So Bad Its Good. From the wrong direction. Of course, that's already been covered on So Bad It's Horrible VideoGames...
- ...why are there cowboys in the Pocahontas one?
- The writing for the films is about as terrible as the animation and voice acting. Watch in amazement as their version of The Hunchback Of Notre Dame shows a heartless Esmeralda leaving Quasimodo to die in a dungeon.
- Then there's this. A "little boy" named Sonny is a black big-lipped minstrel in this adaptation of Snow White. Maybe it's a reference to this WWII cartoon. That, or they truly think that black people look and dress like that. Terrible.
- No, "Snow White" is an exception despite the blatant racism. It has an awesome example of a Big Lipped Alligator Moment, the narrator seems to be taking the piss, and the animation is competent compared to most Phoenix tripe.
- In modern day Brazil, Video Brinquedo is to Pixar (and to a lesser extent, Dreamworks Animation) what Dingo Pictures was to Disney. Just look at this scene from "Ratatoing." (The English dub of that scene adds even more madness with random grunts that sound quite... suggestive.) If you want to burn your eyes more, look at their trailers.
- The trailers for 'Gladiformers 2' look like trailers for an N64 game that was never released. The film was made last year!! (That is, 2008.) And the sad thing is, that one is their least eye-gouging work...
- Oh, and for how bad the rip-offs are? Check The little cars.
- The Fonz and the Happy Days Gang. If you thought Happy Days jumped the shark before...well, this is worse. Explained in the intro by narrator Wolfman Jack: "Oh, now the gang got sucked into that time machine, and they're... like, travelling through time!" You only need to know that it should never be watched without first consuming copious amounts of alcohol. To dull the senses, of course.
- Ah, yes. The Happy Days gang, a girl from a future that is highly unlikely to turn up, a dog in a leather jacket, and a time-traveling diner with jukebox and year indicator. The goal was to get back to 1957, except when there was a Friend Or Idol Decision, in which case some of them would reach 1957 but have to leave to save their friends... This show was cited by Seth MacFarlane as the worst cartoon of all time.
- Planet Sketch. When you see horrible jokes recycled (with slight changes) every episode, you know this was never meant to be. The cherry on this immolated car-crash of a cake is that Aardman were behind it. Aardman. How the hell do you go from Wallace And Gromit to this?
- Da Boom Crew. It was played on Kids WB on Saturday mornings for about four weeks: one new episode per week, like any new show. They had time to show reruns before the show was cancelled. And thank goodness. Totally Radical speech, traveling through a video game world with generic characters, and other unneeded things made this show not worth the timeslot it took up.
- Chip and Pepper's Cartoon Madness. Not to be confused with Chip N Dales Rescue Rangers, "Cartoon Madness" was an affront to animation with its badly-animated surfer bulldogs pasted against the kind of computer-rendered animation you'd expect from the early 1990s. It was like a bloody collision between a bad Flash cartoon and a computer science student's D- project, with no survivors.
- The Wild CATS cartoon not only was adapting a 1990s Darkerand Edgier comic to a G-rated timeslot, but it also was apparently determined to do it with the lowest grade of animation available. The result was a murky mess of ridiculously-proportioned, virtually immobile musclemen vaguely threatening each other with everything but violence.
- The Schnookums and Meat Funny Cartoon Show, or rather the "Schnookums and Meat" shorts: Best described as "Disney throws Ren And Stimpy and 2 Stupid Dogs in a blender." Worked about as well as you'd expect. The "Pith Possum" and "Tex Tinstar" companion shorts were held in much higher regard than the Schnookums and Meat shorts.
- Tex Tinstar was enjoyable (and probably deserved a show of its own). The rest? Deserved to be on the list.
- Ah, "Dino Squad". Better known in these parts as "Somewhere A Palaeontologist Is Crying: The Series". Totally Radical dialogue, boring Five Token Band characters, and truly epic bad science. On that last note, the show has an "E/I Educational Content" logo! Lord knows why; this is a show that thinks you can avoid extinction by hiding in a cave for 70,000,000 years and that monitor lizards are a kind of shark.
- Many of the syndicated cartoons produced by Sam Singer in the late 1950s and early '60s were notoriously shoddy. But most animation buffs consider Bucky and Pepito the worst of the lot and frequently cite it as one of the worst cartoons ever made. The animation was stiff and usually crudely drawn (in stark contrast to the beautifully painted landscapes used as backgrounds), the lip-synching almost never matched the short's dialogue, and the gags were consistently contrived and unfunny. It didn't help that one of the title characters was an Ethnic Scrappy Mexican whose defining trait was spelled out in the full ExpositoryThemeTune ("oh so lazy, and oh so very, very slow").
- Hammerman. It was the last of a glut of Celebrity-based cartoons from the early '90s. MC Hammer as a superhero had So Bad Its Good potential which was buried under horrific animation (at times you could see where the frames would have gone), Anvilicious E/I plots, and annoying supporting characters - particularly the sassy black Greek Chorus which predated the one from Disney's Hercules
(so Disney knew what not to do). See the intro for yourself. (And yes, it did look like that on broadcast TV).
- What do you get when you try make a CGI animated movie to cash in to a toy line that was never popular to begin with? Why, ''Freaky Flickers: The Movie, of course!
- Yo Yogi! This was one of the last NBC Saturday morning cartoons for a decade. After somehow making a lot of money out of plagiarizing Muppet Babies via The Flintstone Kids and A Pup Named Scooby Doo, Hanna-Barbera tried to do it with Yogi Bear and all the related characters in his cartoons. In this series, they turned most of the characters into teenagers and made them wear dated clothes and speak in Totally Radical "surfer" lingo. They also tried to get ratings by throwing in 3-D scenes. The show was so bad that, except for two specials, Hanna-Barbera never made another new show starring Yogi Bear. ...So, how much you wanna bet Warner Bros will put the entire run of this series on DVD before releasing quality shows like Road Rovers and Histeria!?
- Titanic: The Legend Goes On is a 2001 animated musical made by an Italian company and dubbed horribly into English. It is about the sinking of the Titanic, and it steals characters and plotlines from James Cameron's Titanic, Disney (most notably Cinderella), and Don Bluth (most notably An American Tail). It doesn't steal enough plotline from history, though. The main song makes "My Heart Will Go On" look like a masterpiece, the other songs are also awful, and the animation is appalling. The characters have about three millimeters of depth between them, and several of them are blatant racial stereotypes. THERE IS A RAPPING DOG.
- Stripperella. The anchor of Spike TV's attempt at adult-themed cartoons was... how to describe it? Unfunny jokes, horrible stories, really bad parodies of superheroes and other things... The creators had to assume that men would accept it all as long as they showed them some big, bare cartoon ta-tas, and they didn't even do that! They were digitized out.
- Turbocharged Thunderbirds, a half-hour version of British classic Thunderbirds produced for Fox. Thirteen of the original Thunderbirds episodes were hacked into a half-hour format (with space open for commercials), re-titled, and dubbed over with new voices. The Tracy family fought supervillains, and the action took place on "Thunderworld". Oh, and the Tracy family took orders from a pair of live-action teenagers who lived on the inside of Thunderbird 5 (or something, they didn't explain it very well) and called Jeff Tracy "Mr. T". Worst of all, the dialogue was completely edited out and replaced with "ironic post-modern" jokes. Creator Gerry Anderson was so furious when he found out what had been done to his creation that Fox pulled it immediately... and thank God for that.
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