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Web Video: The Rap Critic
He analyzes the rhymes, cause no one else does.

Let's talk about the Rap Critic (aka Masta Artisan, aka Daren Jackson).

The resident reviewer of hip-hop and rap for That Guy with the Glasses. Along with Todd in the Shadows and Paw Dugan, he's a music critic. He is also found on Reviewtopia. He raps a little as well, but not in his reviews; well, not much anyway.

His work can be found here and here, and his Twitter is here.

This reviewer provides examples of:

  • Actually Pretty Funny: He got a chuckle from the "left nut" line of the otherwise execrable "Just Lose It".
  • invokedAccidental Innuendo: Cracks up when he hears the line "I take sacks to the face whenever I can!" He knows the line is supposed to be referring to drugs, but it instead sounds like...
  • A Date with Rosie Palms: When Ill Mind of Hopsin 4 makes a reference to Nicki Minaj naked.
  • Analogy Backfire: In the David Banner review, after David Banner's line, "I beat it like Mike when he fucked Billie Jean," Rap Critic exasperatedly points out that the point of that song was for Michael to say that he didn't have sex with her.
    • He points out that the "And she's a patient in my waiting room" line in Drake's "Best I Ever Had" could also mean that this girl is waiting for Drake while he's busy with somebody else.
    • When discussing I Know You See It, Rap Critic is horrified when Yung Joc brags about a woman giving him a blowjob "like she's chewin' bubble gum."
  • Angry Black Man: Averted to the point that even he's surprised at how calm he stays.
    • Justified in his "Worst Lyrics I've Ever Heard... This Year (2011) video, as he bemoans the horrible state mainstream rap music has become.
  • Appeal to Obscurity: In his review of Soulja Boy: The Movie with Mues:
    Mues: Then Soulja Boy shows off useless crap, like having 92 thousand friends on Myspace. Because you know, Tila Tequila had 2 million friends on Myspace, and we all see how important she is.
    Rap Critic: Who?
    Mues: Exactly.
    • The RC sees Kid Ink as another version of J-Kwon.
    Rap Critic: And if you don't remember who J-Kwon is, well, that's exactly my point.
  • Berserk Button: He can't stand the way Violent J says "my motherfuckin' money!"
  • Black and Nerdy: Self-admitted.
  • Boomerang Bigot: He accused Petey Pablo of being this in "Raise Up", regarding a line claiming that the artist spent jail time with half of the...black men in North Carolina.
    "Way to stereotype your own people. ...Ya jerk."
  • Breathless Non Sequitur: He calls Lil Wayne out for doing this in "Love Me" by doing it himself:
    "I don't know about you, but linking two phrases together with the word 'and' is not the same thing as a transitional phrase and I like nipples."
  • Brick Joke: Snoop Dogg leading an army of gummy bears in a Katy Perry music video.
  • Broke the Rating Scale: He's used both kinds of Type 1. He's given several 0 out of 5 ratings, and two 6 out of 5 ratings note .
    • He refused to give a rating for "Loyal" because that would mean he would he have to actually acknowledge Chris Brown as a legit rapper.
  • Broken Pedestal: Devoted a large chunk of his "Worst Lyrics of 2012" video to explaining why Nicki Minaj's recent work has disappointed him so much.
  • The Cameo:
  • The Cast Showoff:
    • Rapped a little in his Fat Joe review; it was pretty cool.
    • He has also posted several videos for his songs from both his first and second albums, and rough cuts of tracks from his third.
    • He can even sing opera.
  • Catch Phrase:
    "Let's talk about (Artist Du Jour)"
    (His early reviews) "I'm the Rap Critic. I analyze the rhymes, cause no one else does."
    (After joining TGWTG) "You don't have to like my opinion, but I don't have to like your song."
  • Comically Missing the Point: Does this in "Worst Lyrics I've Ever Heard... this Month" for September 2011.
    Young Dro: Tokyo Diamonds, CHOI-OI-OI-OING
    Animetalchick: This is ridiculous.
    Rap Critic: Yeah, diamonds don't come from Japan. {*Animetalchick glares at him*} What...?
  • Cowboy Bebop at His Computer:
    • In "Worst Lyrics I've Ever Heard... this Month" for September 2011, he confuses rapper "Young Dro" with "Yung Joc".
    • In his review of "Birthday Song", he credits Kanye West for providing 2 Chainz with financial backing and bringing him to the forefront. While Kanye has collaborated with 2Chainz a few times over the course 2012, he isn't responsible for either of those things.
    • While reviewing David Banner's Certified he criticizes Banner for ripping off the Ying Yang Twins "Wait (The Whisper Song)". These songs are similar because they share the same producer who at the time was trying to push a new type of club music. The songs were actually produced around the same time but, the Ying Yang Twins record came out first.
    • When talking about how he doubts Kayne West & Kim Kardashian having a serious relationship with each other, he talks how she married a football player named Kris Humphries. While he does admit that he doesn't know too much about who Kris Humphries is, spending some extra time looking into him can reveal that he's a basketball player, not a football player.
  • Cluster F-Bomb: Complained about the one which kicks off "Hustlin'".
  • Crossover:
    • With Todd in the Shadows for "It Wasn't Me", and the Animetalchick in a "Worst Lyrics" battle between rap and metal.
      • And again to review Runaway.
      • The Rap Critic ended up doing a cameo appearance for Todd's Best Songs of 2012 video, collaborated with him to review Snoop Dogg and Wiz Khalifa's Mac & Devin Go To High School, and then had an appearance in Todd's review on Alicia Keys' "Girl on Fire" just to help Todd with the A Wild Rapper Appears in Nicki Minaj. What makes this notable was that it was for three straight Todd videos in a row that he had appeared in!note 
      • He and Todd jointly review Brad Paisley's "Accidental Racist", which eventually devolves into an argument over who makes the song suck, with the Rap Critic saying LL Cool J's guest lyrics ruin the message, while Todd claims that it's Brad Paisley's fault for coming up with the idea in the first place.
    • With Marc Mues for "Raise Up" and Soulja Boy: The Movie.
    • Pops up frequently enough in the Brows Held High review of Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai given the films context and score by The RZA to be more than just a cameo. Especially as he winds up reviewing Oancitizen's Rap-Analysis of the film and director Jim Jarmusch's style, Oan gets a 2 out of 5.
    • He teamed up with Film Brain to review the 50 Cent movie "Set Up".
  • Damned by Faint Praise: From the "We Dem Boyz" review:
    Rap Critic: Heck, I liked Young, Wild, and Free! *other Wiz Khalifa songs appear on-screen* And... eh... I... uh... er... uh, well, I liked Young, Wild, and Free.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Often.
    Nelly: Your body is bangin' momma but where your brains at?
    Rap Critic: You say that as if you care.
  • Death Glare: He's a master.
  • Department of Redundancy Department: From his very first review, of Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg's "Nothin' But a G Thang":
    "There's no creativity, there's no focus, and there's no... focus."
  • Ending Fatigue: Says Mack Maine's verse (or outro) on Young Money's "Every Girl" qualifies as this because it broke the three verse structure and didn't add to the song. invoked
  • Enforced Plug: His album Polarity Switch at the end of the "Death of Autotune" review.
  • Epileptic Trees: An in-universe example in his review of Birthday Song by 2Chainz.
    Why did 2Chainz order a clown for his birthday anyway? And was that kid from earlier also supposed to be 2Chainz? Is this some sort of weird time warp dimension where 2Chainz went back in the past and crashed his own 10th birthday party or something? Maybe that's it. Maybe 2Chainz is causing a rift in time and space and that's why all these anamolies are happening. Like stripper origami here, or... whatever muscle spasms this gentlemen seems to be suffering.
  • Facepalm: His reaction to "Ass (Remix)" by Big Sean. He needs a moment before he can make any comments.
  • Flat "What.": His reaction to the lyric, "I got your grandma on my dick" in Tyga's song "Rack City."
  • Flipping the Table: Literally in the music video for "Oh My God.
  • Forced Meme: Brought up as a joke in his "Swimming Pools (Drank)" review. He wonders why no one has turned it into an internet meme yet and volunteers to get it started.
    Rap Critic: Realize the inability for this meme to catch on. *DRANK.*
  • Fun with Subtitles: Whenever the lyrics are overtly stupid, the caption reads something along the line of *lyrics are too insulting to my intellect to type*...
  • Girl on Girl Is Hot: Todd and the Critic argued that the cheated girlfriend on "It Wasn't Me" was following the action so closely that she probably wanted a part of it. And said the cheater would be a lucky guy for this!
    "I'm not sure what I'm more offended by—how sexist that was, or that it wasn't even a LITTLE hot."
  • Go Mad from the Revelation:
    • In the "Hustlin'" review, after Rick Ross rhymes "twenty-two" with "twenty-two" seven times.
    • And after the Truck Driver's Gear Change in "Just Can't Get Enough".
  • Got Me Doing It: Butting heads with Oancitizen over the themes of Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai.
    Rap Critic: Don't you even care that this movie — the first to feature a score by a major rap artist — created a major step toward solidifying the hip-hop aesthetic as a cultural, viable expression to an artistic crowd?! (beat) Damn, started to sound like you for a second."
    Oan: It happens.
  • Hell-Bent for Leather: His jacket.
  • Heroic BSOD: After listening to Rick Ross' "Hustlin'".
    AAAAAAAAAAAH! TURNITOFFTURNITOFF!
  • Hypocrite:
    • Eminem rapping "Now I would never dis my own mama just to get recognition" earns five hostile lyrics against Shady's mom.
    • He calls 50 Cent out on this in his review of "21 Questions", in terms of both his rivalry with Ja Rule over his Rated G for Gangsta image (only to craft one for himself not long after) and his mockery of Kanye West for using Auto-Tune (only to go on to use it on his next album).
  • Hypocritical Humor:
    • In the "It Was a Good Day" review, when he tells Ice Cube that he should cook his own breakfast since he's like 24 at the time of the video - and then yelling "Hey Mom, where's my breakfast?!"
    • In the "Just Can't Get Enough" review, Animetalchick cameos to mention that she was offended by the song quoting "Me Love You Long Time" from Full Metal Jacket, then claims Interchangeable Asian Cultures.
  • Lets See You Do Better:
    • Addressed in his "Death of Autotune" review, where he notes he does rap.
    • One of the songs from his album also is basically about how much better he is than the people he criticizes.
  • Melismatic Vocals: Hilariously parodied in the beginning of his Rap-Lib of 'Put It In Your Mouth'.
  • Mood Whiplash: He calls this on Drake's "Best I Ever Had", which goes from love song to sex song. He illustrates by juxtaposing a clip from The Jackson 5's "I'll Be There" with a clip from Nine Inch Nails' "Closer".
    • He also calls this on Lil Wayne's lyrics in "Every Girl", similarly illustrating it by combining a clip from Prince's "The Most Beautiful Girl in the World" with Snoop Dogg and Lil Jon's "Step Ya Game Up".
    • He criticizes the whiplash between the verses and chorus of Terror Squad's "Lean Back", and illustrates by combining the verse of Tupac Shakur's "Brenda's Got a Baby" with the chorus of a song by Shawty Put.
    • Intentional on his album Rapper's Liebe. "It's Alright, It's Okay" is about the protagonist telling a girl that just rejected him he's okay with it. The Next Song, "Oh My God", reveals how he actually feels:
    Once again, this crap keeps happenin'
    feeling like I took four shots to the abdomen
    'cause every time I think I've come across some divine luck
    Reality reminds me how much life sucks
  • Monkeys on a Typewriter: On "Just Can't Get Enough", he says that the monkeys need to be hired, as they could write a line better than "Love lovey, yeah you know you are my demon".
  • Narm:
  • Nice Hat
  • "No. Just... No" Reaction: He gives this expression several times, including:
  • "Not Making This Up" Disclaimer:
  • Obfuscating Stupidity: In his review of David Banner's Certified, he notes that in real life, David Banner comes off as a lot more intelligent and that he seems to purposely be playing up rap stereotypes to sell more records.
  • Obligatory Frontin': In his review for "Always On Time", he notes that Ja Rule constantly boasts about how hardcore he is, even when the song in question is a smooth R'n'B number.
  • OOC Is Serious Business: RC hardly ever cusses in his reviews(the musicians he reviews already do it enough for him), but when 2Chainz compares himself to 2Pac, he loses it.
    "WHAT THE F*CK DID THIS N*GGA JUST SAY?!"
  • Pet Peeve Trope: He has a few:
    "I need to find a rhyme for the word I just put at the end of this line, that will work in the context of the next line. But that sounds hard!"
  • Poor Man's Substitute: In-Universe example. Rap Critic is this for Todd in the Shadows. The Nostalgia Chick calls him "Not Todd" in their crossover review of Will Smith's rap career.
    • He accidentally calls himself "Not Todd" during the same review, and immediately lampshades it.
  • Precision F-Strike: When he does one of these, it's VERY noticeable, since he tends to dislike unnecessary cussing. But sometimes, he just has to break his usual polite manner and vent with an f-bomb.
    • His reaction to a line in Waka Flocka Flame's "O Let's Do It" referencing lynching and shooting a guy for talking bad about him. The other times he swears in the series could be counted on one hand.
    Rap Critic: What the *** is wrong with you?"
    • Gives a proper, uncensored one in his "Worst Lyrics I've Ever Heard...This Year (2013)" review, in which he tells Lil Wayne that "there's a fucking limit" to how far you can take sexual hyperbole after Wayne compares having rough sex to the death of Emmett Till.
    • He does another censored one at the end of his review of "Show Me": "You don't have to like my opinion, but *** this song!"
    • The OOC Is Serious Business example above. Not only an f-bomb, but an n-bomb as well.
    • Drops one at the end of his review of Wiz Khalifa's "We Dem Boyz", after savaging the song for being lazy, uninspired tripe:
    Music video girl: Oh my gosh, that was amazing!
    Rap Critic: NO IT FUCKING WASN'T!
  • Running Gag: No one else from TGWTG knowing who he is, or mistaking him for Todd in the Shadows, or kicking him out of their reviews.
    Rap Critic: What do you mean 'who am I'? We're both on the same site! I've been on Channel Awesome longer than you have! I'm the Rap Critic!
    Oan: (beat) OH, yes, yes, yes. ...So, uh, what do you do?
    Rap Critic: (Death Glare)
    • His use of the "How romantic!" clip from The Aristocats as a reaction to something decidedly unromantic in an alleged love song.
    • If Lil Wayne comes up, he will mention (with disbelief) that Wayne is the most popular rapper in America.
    Rap Critic: Ladies and gentlemen of the mainstream audience, your best rapper alive.
    • Also, Lil Wayne's lack of skill with a guitar.
    • Defenestration tends to pop up a lot in Rap Libs.
    • Keeping a Lupe Fiasco CD handy for when he needs to cleanse his brain of a particularly stupid lyric.
    • Naively assuming that a great performer will break sales records and chart highly on the Billboard. He is always sorely disappointed.
  • Scare Chord: Used to do this whenever he Breaks The Rating Scale. When he gave a 6 out of 5 (for "No Love" by Eminem and Lil Wayne), he even lampshaded the Scare Chord by telling it to shut up.
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: He teams up with Mues to review their top ten least favorite Eminem songs. When "Just Lose It" shows up on the countdown Rap Critic flatly states that if we want to know his opinion on this record that we should watch his old review because he refused to subject himself to the song. Mues is caught off guard by this and gets revenge before moving on to the next song.
  • Self-Deprecating Humor / Hypocritical Humor:
    • He often makes fun of his show's low production values.
    • In the "No Love" review, he at one point compares his position on TGWTG to the Token Minority in Not Another Teen Movie. He frequently gets short cameos when someone wants to say something about black stereotypes in a work, but rather has a black person say it.
    • Most of his TGWTG crossover reviews start with the other reviewer either totally failing to recognize him as a fellow contributor, or trying to weasel out of doing the review with him, or both.
  • Shout-Out: Recommends Tech N9ne in a few videos.
  • Squick: invoked
    Lil Wayne: She wanna be Weezy F. babysitter/ Say she wish she cut off my dick and take it with her.
    Rap Critic: Ahhhh....
    • After hearing Mack Maine's "I exchange V-Cards (virginity) with the retards" lyric in "Every Girl" he's so grossed out he abruptly ends the review and doesn't attempt to snark at it.
    • Some of the lyrics found in Ghostface Killah's songs in his Top 9 Strangest Ghostface Killah Lyrics video involve this, especially when they go further down the line.
  • Signing Off Catch Phrase: "I'm The Rap Critic. You don't have to like my opinion, but I don't have to like your song."
  • Sophisticated as Hell: He seems to speak like this in general. But considering that he discusses Hip-Hop records using an intelligent and analytic tone it pretty much enforces this speaking style.
  • Suspiciously Specific Denial: After mocking the romantic lines in Drake's "Best I Ever Had":
    Rap Critic: I'm not mad because I don't have a girlfriend! Where did you get that idea?
  • Take That: "Oh Really" is an entire song dedicated to criticizing rappers that are "gangsta" and their over-saturation.
  • Talking to Himself: His Running Gag of "Hey, Guy #1!" "Yeah, Guy #2?".
  • Tempting Fate: After "Hey Soul Sister"'s "So gangsta, I'm so thug", he says "Next, there's gonna be an Asian pop group who says they're gangsta too". Cut to a similar line of "Like a G6"...
  • That Makes Me Feel Angry: Commented on in his Soulja Boy review.
    All up in my face/I'm startin' to get mad
    Rap Critic: (monotone) And you can really tell by how angry I sound.
  • Token Minority: According to a commentary, he used the clip from Not Another Teen Movie to lampshade his own status on the site.
  • Too Much Information: His reaction to Drake saying "My shirt ain't got no stripes but I can make your pussy whistle, like the Andy Griffith theme song!"
  • Top Ten List: He does a "Top 9 Worst Rhymes of 2010". And explaining the number, he does a reverse of The Nostalgia Critic's explanation/number.
    Why Top 9? Because I like to take it one step below, in honor to the subpar, underachieving lyrics we're about to face.
    • To continue with the Top 9 worst lyrics for every year since 2010, he has also done "Top 8 Best Rap Songs" for every year, starting with 2011 as well. The first explaination for why it's top 8 involved him saying that Adele is not a rapper, while the second one involves how everyone expects a Top 10 these days.
  • Troubling Unchildlike Behavior: In his The Worst Lyrics I've Ever Heard of 2012, he expresses Squick at one of the song's ("Pretty Girl's Shake It") chorus.
    The Rap Critic: "...how old is this kid? No no no, I don't even want to hear the verse. Listen. Let me make something unmistakably clear - I don't want to hear a five-year-old kid telling pretty girls to 'shake it' and that 'he likes it like that.'"
  • Viewers Are Morons: When he discovers that Little Brother's "Lovin' It" was banned from BET for being "too intelligent" for their target audience, he isn't exactly thrilled.
  • What the Hell, Hero?: In his "Worst Lyrics of 2012", he does this to Nicki Minaj for not trying and to her fans for buying music from her that had no effort put into it.
  • When He Smiles: Has a brilliantly white smile.
  • Word Salad Lyrics: Some songs he reviews and the Rap-Libs.
  • Younger than They Look: Believe it or not, he's a whole two years younger than Film Brain, making The Rap Critic TGWTG's youngest main contributor. The guy can easily pass for mid-twenties, early thirties.

Mortal KomedyWebsite/That Guy with the GlassesRenegade Cut
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alternative title(s): Rap Critic; The Rap Critic
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