Worst Lyrics of November 2010: being unable to say anything about "I Miss My Homies" due to intense Narm.
Also, comparing Mystikal's incoherent rapping to Yosemite Sam in full-on rant mode.
J Kwon's Tipsy - "Good luck using that fake I.D. now that you just admitted to the world that you have a fake I.D."
"Aw, man, that girl looks good. When she moves, her body has a nice shake to it. Shakes go good with fries. Fries are very good right now. I wonder if she works at a place where I can get fries supersized. I wanna eat some fries right now. Also I want to count some numbers."
Young Jeezy's "My President Is Black" review - "Black, blue, green, grey; what is this, the rapping rainbow?!"
"No Love" by Eminem featuring Lil' Wayne
His body threatening him with kicking him in the balls if he didn't go out and buy the album containing the song. This then happens again forcing him to see other good art of 2010, specifically Black Swan, which he had originally said wouldn't happen because it was about ballerinas.
"Just Can't Get Enough" from The Black Eyed Peas begins with him deciding that instead of that song, he'll take the request of the most talked about song on the site. Cue "Pig Power in the House", causing Rap Critic to immediately go back to the Peas.
Any time the "cameraman's sister" (the Animetalchick) appears.
In "Odds and Ends", the disclaimer that opens the video ("If you can read this, you don't need glasses. If you can't, you're probably having a seizure").
And I'm not just saying that because I find her attractive, I'm saying that because I like her body... of work, and I love it when she raps her beautiful lips... off, on this song. ... I wanna make out with Nicki Minaj — Crap!
"Queens have been very important in their day: there's Queen Elizabeth, Queen Victoria, Queen Latifah, there's a lot of them!"
Rap Critic: These are the ramblings of an insane homeless person!
Rap Critic's exasperated expression during the #1 Worst Lyric, in which Nicki Minaj sustains a particularly long note. He then concludes that Minaj (who pretty much dominated the list) wrote so many bad songs on purpose so he would talk about her on his show and promote her album.
Rap Critic: ...And I gave you the satisfaction. I feel used.
From his April 2012 "Worst Lyrics" list: Rap Critic's deadpan expression during the #5 worst lyric ("Have a baby by me, baby: be a millionaire!").
Snoop talks about his high school girlfriend's mom and sister not liking him.
Okay, after talking about giving your girlfriend "pimp fluid", I think I understand why they're concerned.
Snoop Dogg: Keep groovin', that's what we doin'/And we gon' be together until your Moms move in.
The Rap Critic: That's quite the sentiment their, Snoop. "I'll love you forever and always, at least until your mom gets too old and has to move in with us. Screw that noise. Either she stays and I go, or we stick the old bag in a home. I didn't forget when she was cockblocking me in high school."
From his review of "Marvin and Chardonnay", after hearing the lyric "This was all inspired by a little Marvin Gaye and Chardonnay":
(RC looks slowly to the left)
Marvin Gaye: Givin' yourself to me could never be wrong/if the love is true...
From the same review, Kanye ducks and screams after the line "This the fucking anthem/Get it? The fucking anthem?". RC interprets this as sounding like Kanye bombing at a comedy club, so he then repeats the line and overdubs crowd booing and bottle breaking noises.
"You sampled a song from a children's movie? You must be so hardcore."
From that same review: Rap Critic becomes distracted from making an analysis about "E.I." by Nelly because of a strange grunting noise in the song...which RC promptly compares to Scooby-Doo.
In his "Shawty" review, he responds to Plies showing off his girl to criminals with this gem:
Rap Critic: "Wow, 100,000 dollars! Have you ever seen this much money at one time? I've never seen this much money at one time! I bet this could feed a family for...hey, where'd the money go? Hey, you can't take that, it's mine! *gun cock*"
After hearing a song from The Game where Dr. Dre drops a line to look out for the long-delayed Detox album, he points out that the song came out in 2005 and proceeds to go on a big rant about the album still not being out in 2012 and how Dre took a break rather than finish it.
Even better, when Rap Critic is just about to finish the video (The Top 5 Worst Lyrics of July 2012), his cell phone rings...revealing that his ringtone is the #2 song from the list. Rap Critic mutters a sheepish "Shut up" before answering the phone.
Some of the lyrics form said song are just priceless:
Also, his interpretation of what the drunk guy symbolized in Kendrick's chorus is like.
Drunk Guy/Drunk Rap Critic: Hey man, what are you doin' with those lil' baby shot glasses?! What you need to do is get yoself a swimmin' pool full 'a licka and then ya dive right in it! *drinks remainder of cup and then falls down backwards*
The Rap Critic's impressions of Flo Rida during the review of "I Cry":
Opening the Top 9 Worst Lyrics of 2012 video, the Rap Critic muses on how much of an improvement for rap music 2012 was over the previous year. Among his reasons, he states that not one dance craze from a bad rap song went viral. Cue "Gangnam Style".
Rap Critic: Hey, that one doesn't count. I actually liked that song.
On #6, a line by Kanye West referencing Kim Kardashian, he brings up the suggestion that Kim's first marriage may have been a publicity stunt, and then says...
Rap Critic: Either you're in on the joke, or I eagerly await the release of 808's and Heartbreak Part 2.
From his comparison review of Drake's "Started from the Bottom" and the Notorious B.I.G.'s "Juicy"
He points out that "Started from the Bottom" opens with the song's producer Mike Zombie jumping in to credit himself, and brings up how producers back in the day didn't do this. He demonstrates this by playing Michael Jackson's "I Just Can't Stop Loving You" and interrupting it with "Q-Q-Quincy Jones produced this track-track-track"
The whole "WHOA" segment from "Top 5 Worst Lyrics, March 2013," extrapolating a homoerotic-sounding line to its tragic conclusion and demolishing several lines in the process.
"Finger near a nigga's asshole like WHOA. Felt weird, but I kinda liked it like WHOA. Made me question my sexuality like WHOA. Experimenting with other men like WHOA. That's when my dad walked in like WHOA. Wait, Dad, I can explain like WHOA. Father says I Have No Son like WHOA. Now my life is filled with misery and WOE."
On will.i.am's "#thatpower" and the fact that making the title a Twitter hashtag is a shameless attempt to get attention in that particular social media outlet:
Rap Critic: I'm surprised your album's name isn't "#willpower: brought to you by the refreshing taste of Coca-Cola."
Also: After asking which blonde white chick will.i.am brought in as a guest singer and seeing Justin Bieber, he adjusts his glasses and says "Oh, I'm sorry. She's not that blonde."
Wale: Monogamy or whatever you call it I'm starting to think ain't for everybody Rap Critic: Especially now that fame has made more women want to have sex with me! *thumbs up*
His playing a rapper about to do a "hard rhyme", where they give up and don't bother rhyming a few lines together.
Rap Critic: I need to find a rhyme for the word I just put at the end of this line, that will work in the context of the next line. But that sounds hard!
And then he brings it immediately back for the June 2013 edition of "Worst Lyrics" for "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke.
Rap Critic: Yeah, I re-used that clip from the Wale episode. I refuse to dignify this guy's lazy writing with a new joke.
While he and Kyle Kallgren review Jay-Z's "Picasso Baby", they decide to make their own rap with art references. It's hysterical.
Especially because it's called 'Douchebags Baby', by 'The Trap Critic' and 'Brows Pushed Back aka Emerald Arms'.
Monet, Cash and Hoes ...e Orozco.
When Rap Critic and Kyle criticize Jay-Z's habit of collecting art pieces as status symbols rather than appreciating their beauty:
Rap Critic: Yes, Blue Ivy, Jay-Z's daughter, lean on those paintings that he just paid a fortune for. Go ahead, nibble and drool on them as well! People now know that I have the millions of dollars that it makes for me to get these intricate inner-city models of angst and turmoil, so now they no longer serve a purpose!
(Dribbling noise is heard off-screen)
Rap Critic: Oh! Who's adding some more yellow to that Basquiat painting? Who's adding more yellow to that Basquiat painting?
Rap Critic: I mean, If you ask me, I think the problem is probably that he just has a bunch of yes men around him and no one to tell him when something's a bad idea, but you know what? What do I know? The man's given us some great music, he's a musical genius, so I'm sure he's fine. Let's ask the man himself. Kanye, are you alright?
Rap Critic: Yeah, I'm like Eminem because I be killing these f***ots! I mean, wait, no, I don't be like really killing these f***ots! 'Cause I'm cool with these f***ots! I mean, you just stop being so sensitive about the word "f***ot", you f***ot! I mean, That Came Out Wrong. I mean, no, wait, what I meant to say was that I love being with gay men! I mean, I don't love being with gay men, but, like, no, you're homophobic because you thought I was saying I was being with gay men, I mean, I mean, just because you're gay doesn't mean you have to have sex with men, I mean, no wait, what I meant to say was, oh, wait!! No, don't turn off the song, let me explain!
"My diamonds, they say Cookie Monster!... They say Cookie Monster!... They say Cookie-"
His utter disbelief at how both Jay-Z and Nas seem to agree that the world of hip-hop was forever altered by the break-up of portly gimmick rappers The Fat Boys.
"I mean, rest in peace, Buffy [Love] the Human Beatbox, but... they were pretty much the overweight Run/DMC! Seriously, who the hell cares about The Fat Boys?"
In his review of "Show Me" by Kid Ink feat. Chris Brown:
"Girl, you remind me of... something. I can't remember what it was... but how about you help me remember by having sex with you? (smug smile) Yeah."
From "What's Luv" by Fat Joe and Ashanti, Ja Rule's voice fading into the chorus out of nowhere, which the Rap Critic interprets as him being so ubiquituous in 2002 that he began haunting R&B recording sessions like some kind of raspy, incoherent ghost.
The loooong montage of Lil' Wayne's poop jokes, where he calls himself "the shit" (meaning awesome) while referencing the act of defecation. The Rap Critic was actually surprised that calling himself "the shit" in this song didn't lead into a poop joke.
The idea of 'Rap-Libs' is that he raps existing songs with lyrics (usually the explicit parts, but often whatever's funniest) replaced by random words sent in by his fans. This has led to some absolutely hilarious lines.
From "Party Up (Up In Here)":
"FONDLE my TEMPOROMANDIBULAR JOINT!"
"VACUUMS remind me of a strip club"."
"There goes the FLESHLIGHT, 911 SPATULA, all over some dumb SPATULA, ain't that some SPATULA!" Combined with his completely serious expression as he holds up a spatula closer and closer to the camera.
"PROCTOLOGIST tellin' you the truth and it hurts!"
"And I don't know who the SNUGGIE you think you're talking to-"
"-SCROTUM a SPEEDO tried to diss you!"
From "Move B!tch":
"Oh nooo! The PENIS is out!" He then proceeds to look down at his fly.
"And you about to get run the GOAT over!" When it gets to 'goat', it cuts to him just shrugging, as if to say 'Hey, I don't know either.'
"Move, BANANA, get out the way, get out the way BANANA, get out the way! WEENIE!"
"Hear that DYSLEXIC crowd!" 'Og, og, og!'
"Is there a bumper on your BASAL GANGLIA...?" Combined with him holding up a laptop and looking confused.
"There's something wrong, we can't stay still!" He then holds still, before accidentally sneezing.
"No SPOON!" He then shakes a spoon at the camera.
At the line 'knock the curtains down', it cuts to him fighting with a curtain and falling over.
From "Put It In My Mouth":
The whole intro, where he hams it up completely and pretends to play along on a toy keyboard, which promptly fails, causing him to just walk away.
"Put it in my NOSE! (She said put it in her NOSE!) I said my MELLIFLUOUS NOSE! (She said her MELLIFLUOUS NOSE!)"
At one point, he gestures so hard he knocks his glasses off. A couple of repetitions later, it shows him putting them back on and looking a little abashed.
"I'll be like Herbie handing you a TOILET! [pulls out a small one, like the kind used for potty training]
His grin at the words "finger lubing" (combined with a shot of him pouring oil over his fingers).
"And SHANK Chap-Sticks!" He does it, too.
"I'm giving KITTENS permanent MITTENS!" Combined with him holding up the most bored and disgruntled cat ever.