"Greetings fright-knights and monster-girls! It's your old pal Count Jackula from the planet Dracula, where bad movies stalk the night!"
— Count Jackula
Count Jackula
(a.k.a. Jack Shen) is a former reviewer on Channel Awesome and formerly Reviewtopia and Reviewers Unknown. He claims to be a Horror Host space-vampire from the planet Drakula and reviews little known horror movies. His videos can be also be found on The Agony Booth and Geekvision.
Count Jackula provides examples of:
- All Men Are Perverts: He sure loves his ass and tits.
- All There in the Manual: He has given information about Drakulons outside of his reviews, mainly in live streams.
- Ascend to a Higher Plane of Existence: Werner Herzog goes mad from watching Rudolph's Shiny New Year, kills himself, resurrects, flies into space, turns into a giant floating head, destroys the Earth and reboots it with himself as its new God.
- Berserk Button:
- Bad-mouthing horror movies as being unintelligent or low-brow.
- Mixing characteristics of monsters with one another (or has he calls it, "the retarded Monster Mash") arbitrarily.
- Big Boo's Haunt: From Jackula's description of the place, Planet Dracula has shades of this, ranging from harmless Halloween Town fun (like celebrating Halloween by dressing in costumes and giving out candy) to full-blown horror-show Death World (a popular sport being where they "murder-fuck" each other in gladiatorial arenas). Considering it is populated by alien vampires and horror fiction is almost considered sacred there, this is all a given.
- Breakout Character: Count Wiseau-ula
- Then Masked Slasher once Wiseau-ula eventually disappeared.
- There is also Satanic Jackula who's done one review so far but mostly appears in rant videos and unboxing videos where Jack opens a Horror Block Box.
- Brother–Sister Incest: Has admitted at one point that he wanted to fuck his older sister.
- Catchphrase: "... was that racist?" whenever he says something that could be interpreted as
Unfortunate Implications. He also refers to his viewers as "Fright Knights/Nights, Monster Girls, and Whores Of Satan." - Creepy Good:
- While Jackula himself ranges from Chivalrous Pervert/Ethical Slut to grouchy Hollywood Satanist, the nature of Drakulons in general seem to fit this description, the general aesthetic and weird (and often graphic) traditions and hobbies being the sort of thing that would make The Addams Family feel right at home.
- Whenever Jackula veers away from his Large Ham performance and gets real with us, it is usually him breaking character to condemn truly terrible things (like Real Life mass shooters and rapists). Please note though that Jack himself is still a massive horror wiz and Satanist, so Jack Shen the actor also qualifies as this.
- Crossover: Regularly does them with the Horror Guru. Justified since they're roommates.
- Dead Person Conversation: Jackula's Uncle Varney, a skull with two large fangs, makes appearances in many of his reviews with often sexual commentary. Uncle Varney is named after the vampire in the penny dreadful Varney The Vampire Or The Feast Of Blood by James Malcolm Rymer.
- Documentary Episode: The The Forgotten New Year review is framed as being like a documentary directed and narrated by arthouse director Werner Herzog on Satanic Jackula's War on Christmas in 2016.
- Enfant Terrible: In Real Life. Jack Shen was raised by Fundamentalist Christians and spent a good chunk of his childhood almost blindly following his congregation's terrifyingly bigoted views.
- Even Evil Has Standards:
- He's disturbed by the accuracy of the Fred Phelps Expy's sermon in Red State due to his own personal experiences with such topics.
- 80s!Jackula is frightened by the future's increasing amounts of political correctness but is even more horrified to discover that 9/11 will happen soon.
- He is visibly uncomfortable when trying to discuss the rape scenes in I Spit on Your Grave He also comes down hard on misogyny in all forms during his review of the movie.
- Gorn: He literally ejaculates blood when he has a "goregasm".
- Hidden Depths: Within the fifteen to twenty minutes of maniacally gushing about the violence and promiscuity of something he reviews, he'll often drop insightful interpretations about the Reality Subtext behind the mayhem and the time period the films were released in.
- Hollywood Satanism: While Jack Shen himself is a member of the Church of Satan, his character Satanic Jackula deliberately falls under many of the more typical stereotypes associated there-in, his hobbies usually being equal-parts blasphemous and ridiculous.
- Human Aliens: Though Jack has mentioned in a live stream that Drakulons' human forms are not their true ones.
- In Love with Your Carnage: He's really into it when movies go all out with its violence.
- In Name Only: His problem with Halloween II (2009). He thinks Rob Zombie has created a well-done psychological slasher with well-developed characters and an impressive amount of thought put into its symbolism and plot. The problem is that it's supposed to be a Halloween film.
- Irony: Jack Shen was raised under a Fundamentalist Christian household. Despite this (or maybe because of it), Jack is now an out and proud Satanist.
- Large Ham
- O.O.C. Is Serious Business:
- He takes his hat off and is much more serious when examining a scene in Red State where a Fred Phelps Expy gives a sermon, saying that certain things the pastor says (encouraging small children to have homophobic attitudes, saying that tolerance of others is evil, and that disasters are God punishing the wicked) resemble certain things Shen himself was taught or experienced when he was growing up as a Fundamentalist Christian.
- Often when fighting between parents occur, Jack will suddenly break down in tears begging for his own parents to stop fighting, a big contrast to his usual Ax-Crazy personality.
- Our Vampires Are Different: Drakulons and earth vampires are not one and the same. Drakulons are much stronger than earth vampires, can fly through space, and don't have as many weaknesses as earth vampires. For instance, they don't turn to dust in the sun (though he claims that he has a "skin condition") or "need" to sleep on home soil. Because of this, earth vampires are considered the "retarded cousins" of Drakulons. Both can poof into bats though, as seen in Count Jackula's most recent videos.
- Phlebotinum Overload: According to Jackula in his "Top 10 Sexy Monster Girls" video, the Alejandro Jodorowsky movie adaptation of Dune actually did get made, but it contained so much Giger that it created a quantum-singularity that would have destroyed the universe. The Drakulons moved in and stopped this from happening by erasing the film from existence, resulting in the creation of The Flamingo Kid to keep the paradox stable.
- Political Overcorrectness: Besides the usual mockery of this, Jack Shen is known to argue against applying political correctness to horror movies since they're intentionally offensive.
- Politically Incorrect Hero/Villain: Many of the jokes that Jackula makes definitely fall under the umbrella of "offensive", to the point of having an "offense attorney" to call whenever he makes an offensive joke. With Jackula's Large Ham personality and Cloudcuckoolander moments, this is done more out of a sense of self-awareness and open mockery of the concept, given that he believes that Horror (the genre his show is about) has the most to lose under Political Overcorrectness.
- Shared Universe: Due to his inclusion on Channel Awesome, his many cameos, and the occasional crossover, Count Jackula is part of the Reviewaverse.
- Shout-Out: Satanic Jackula wears skull make-up similar to Papa Emeritus, the lead singer of the satanic-themed Hard Rock band Ghost.
- Steampunk: His outfit certainly fits the style, especially the top hat and goggles combo.
- World of Weirdness: The Reviewaverse. Jackula is a Satanic space-alien vampire horror-host for crying out loud!
