Web Video: Some Jerk with a Camera

Disneyland, USA. Who doesn't love this place? It's a home away from home, for kids of all ages. A passport to worlds unknown. A tentpole of the American zeitgeist. A place I'd like to point towards when they bury my carcass. A joyous, celebratory land of—FOUR TWENTY-NINE FOR AN ORANGE JUICE? YOU BUNCH OF FUC--
—The opening of the first episode

Some Jerk With A Camera is an internet reviewer of Disney Theme Parks (and occasionally Universal) and their assorted paraphernalia. His show blends park history lessons, articulate opinions, and wacky, frenetic, manic-style humor. Most bizarrely, a great deal of the live footage is "on location", meaning that he's frequently cussing it up within the confines of The Most Magical Place on Earth.

His show can be seen here on Channel Awesome, here on Geekvision, or here on Mr. Coat And Friends.

This series provides examples of:

  • Aborted Arc: Due to undisclosed circumstances, Jerk's review of The Little Mermaid Ride, promised after the Star Tours II video, was put on hold in favor of an EPCOT Retrospective. To bridge the two, Jerk starts out his retrospective about to talk about The Little Mermaid Ride, but has an encounter with Chris Hansen that forces him to go on the run and end up in Florida.
  • Accentuate the Negative: Sometimes, such as with The Country Bears and It's A Small World Holiday, but just as often, Jerk is positive about the things he's reviewing.
    Jerk: Do you know why I review Disneyland? ...It's because I *love* Disneyland! I didn't want to be a hater! I wanted to show the Reviewaverse that you can be entertaining without resorting to constant negative whiny cynicism!
  • Accent Upon The Wrong Syllable: Jerk admits his old Small World parody song is guilty of this.
  • Alter Ego Acting: The Jerk is at least somewhat fictional, but he has been referred to as "Tony Goldmark", and takes credit for pre-Jerk works of Tony's.
  • All Just a Dream: The Star Tours review was The Wire's dream within Jerk's dream within Spazz's dream within Heffer's dream within Lisa's dream within North's dream within Jerk's dream within Marty McFly's dream within Michael Jackson's mind.
  • Arc Words: KETCHUP.
  • Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: And naturally, only the Jaywalking one has anyone acting outraged.
    Jerk: "No, look, just because your life is a lie doesn't mean you can't be happy. Just look at me! My whole life is a lie and I'm happy as a clam! I've never told anyone this but I am Nicole Simpson's real killer. Yeah. And I shot Tupac. And Biggie. And JFK. And JR Ewing. I escaped from Gitmo twice and I still have the tag to prove it. I- I I- *pause* I am Jack the Ripper. And the Zodiac Killer. And Keyser Sze. And the undercover cop in Reservoir Dogs. Uh, I started the goddamn Chicago fire. I canceled Firefly! I'll confess to whatever you want just please for the love of god don't bring Urkel back from the dead."
    Sursum Ursa: ...YOU? CANCELED? FIREFLY?!? ...YOUMONSTER!!!
  • Author Appeal: Jerk's a huge "Weird Al" Yankovic fan, and has put at least one Weird Al reference in all of his episodes.
  • Big "NO!": Jerk's reaction to It's A Small World Holiday.
  • Black Comedy:
    Jerk: As a Jewish controller of the media, I hereby demand a Germany ride! (Cut to him boarding a train.)
    • Earlier in Part 1 he compares the Disney Corporation post-Walt's death as a chicken with its head cut off... complete with footage of a just-beheaded chicken leaping around.
    • In his teaser for his Captain EO review, he mentions the review will premiere on Sept 12 2011. 25 years after the ride opened. "There aren't any other big anniversaries around that date, are there?"
    • "ABC Goes To Disney World" parodies Laugh Tracks by portraying them as mindless audiences who laugh at anything... even Simba finding Mufasa dead.
  • Black Comedy Rape:
    • ...by It's A Small World, to the shock and confusion of several other reviewers.
    • In the "Star Tours" video, Wire asks the Jerk to show her on an Ewok doll where the ride touched him. He throws it on the ground and yells "I was probably asking for it!"
  • Broken Record: In his "ABC Goes To DisneyLAND episode":
    "The new Twilight Zone Tower of Terror, The new Twilight Zone Tower of Terror, The new Twilight Zone Tower of Terror, The new Twilight Zone Tower of Terror, The new Twilight Zone Tower of Terror, The new Twilight Zone Tower of Terror, The new Twilight Zone Tower of Terror, The new Twilight Zone Tower of Terror..."
  • The Cameo: Spazzmaster, The Wire, and Il Niege all make regular appearances. Other cameos have included Phil Buni, Oancitizen, Diamanda Hagan, MikeJ, Count Jackula, The Rosen Hacker, Stephan and Nootrac, Mikey Insanity, and not one, but TWO separate appearances by "Weird Al" Yankovic!
  • The Cast Show Off: The "What's This?" musical number.
  • Cloud Cuckoo Lander
  • invokedCritical Research Failure: As Jerk reviews the ABC sitcoms that went to Disney World, he quickly finds they make some blatant errors about the park.
    • The Full House episode has the family meet Donald and Goofy right outside of their hotel when the costumed characters never go that far from the park.
    • In Step by Step, Flash attempts to break the record for fastest time riding every Disney World ride, with his neighbor Mark helping him from the park's control room. While riding the Astro Orbiter, he's advised to not go to Alien Encounter and instead go to the Jungle Cruise because the parade is in progress. Since going to Alien Encounter from Astro Orbiter would not pass through the parade (since it doesn't go through Tomorrowland) but passing through Fantasyland to the Jungle Cruise would, Jerk concludes Mark must be trying to sabotage him.
      • Later on, the Indiana Jones Epic Spectacular show fills up and Flash is let in if he plays the part of Indy. This infuriates Jerk, as the show is the most dangerous stunt show in the park and would never let a random novice play such a central role.
      • Earlier in the episode, J.T. and Rich blow all their money on trying to impress girls by treating them to dinner at a supposed Disney World restaurant called Pinetta's. However, Jerk finds not only is there no place at Disney World called Pinetta's, the only dining place he can find with that name in the world is in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
    Jerk: Was it this hard to find an expensive restaurant in Disney World?! The freaking churros have installment plans!
    • The Sabrina episode has her and her supporting cast travel from Animal Kingdom to their hotel room four times in one episode, even though the hotel they're at (the Coronade Springs Resort) is 3 miles away from the park. Roseanne commits a similar error, as the family somehow makes it from their hotel room to Main Street USA in only 14 minutes.
    • During his coverage of The George Lopez Show, a clip plays where George's mom claims she rode the Matterhorn ride while pregnant with him. As the safety announcement played every 5 minutes during the line to the ride shows, pregnant women are heavily discouraged from riding the Matterhorn.
  • Crossover: The review of the original Star Tours, with Spazzmaster and The Wire.
  • Deus ex Machina: After accidentally erasing his own birth at the very end of his "It's a Small World" review, Jerk is saved by a dimensional figure called The All-Being, who transports him to an alternate universe that's exactly the same as his old own.
  • Disney Acid Sequence: Several, including the end of his Star Tours review, and the beginning of part 3 of his It's A Small World review.
  • DVD Commentary: His commentaries are online and not on DVD though.
    • The first commentary was on his "Season One Outtakes" video, and is a random assortment of various random songs and other things. It's completely insane.
    • The second commentary was on his Halloween Special and is more of a Gag Dub than the previous one.
    • The third commentary was on his April Fools' Day Walt Disney Family Museum video and is virtually unedited. The only additions are a short introduction by Jerk and a clip of Mexican comedian Jos Natera costumed as the Devil.
    • The fourth commentary was his first actual commentary, on his 3 part EPCOT series.
  • Eskimos Aren't Real:
    • He doesn't accept France as a real country.
    • His feet think Quentin Tarantino is just a myth he made up to scare them out of seceding from his body.
  • Even Evil Has Loved Ones: His impersonation has Michael Eisner petting his kitty and loving her along with asking for a cartoon made of his kid's favorite candy.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: In part one of his Epcot retrospective, they state that Disney wouldn't make their Africa pavilion if it meant being associated with South Africa.
  • Everything's Better with Monkeys: Whenever there's a clip of a monkey, Some Jerk can't help but cheerfully say "Ha ha. Monkey!"
  • Evil Plan: The creation of Disney's California Adventure is portrayed like this, with Michael Eisner as a James Bond villian, complete with an eyepatch, a German accent, fedora and a (plush toy) Right-Hand Cat.
    Michael Eisner: Ve vant zhe tourists to stay in ze park. Vhy do they leave ze park?
    Unnamed Disney Employee: Uh, well, uh, Mr. Eisner sir, according to the market research we've done, people leave so they can explore the rest of California!
    Michael Eisner: Then ve vill bring the rest of California, *throws cat away* HEEEEEEEERE!
  • Expy: Kill Bozby is a particularly deranged one.
  • Forced Meme: Jerk will take any excuse to whip out "That day... is TONIGHT!"
  • Foreshadowing: Tony's parody songwriting past and skills are referenced in the Florida, Halloween, and Small World Part One episodes, leading up to the Small World finale.
  • Freeze-Frame Bonus: Frequently displays funny text for less than a second.
  • Gag Dub: He did one for his own Halloween special.
  • Golden Snitch: Parodied with the last question of "Is It Still There" (California Adventure edition) being worth 100 points to the 10 and 20 of the first two.
  • Guilty Pleasures: Averted. He stands by his love for Maelstrom, "no matter how much my friends hate it."
  • Hookers and Blow: Honey in The Country Bears is a G-rated replacement.
  • I'm Not a Hero, I'm...: "I'm not a hero, I'm just a guy who likes to say he's not a hero."
  • It Will Never Catch On: Wealthy Businessman's reaction to all of Walt Disney's ideas.
  • Jerkass: Come on, if you watch a guy named Some Jerk With A Camera then don't expect him to be kind.
  • Jewish Complaining:
    • In the "Small World" video, the Jerk's uncle Paul is apparently a seasoned hater and gives the Jerk some tips.
    • Referenced in the EPCOT video: "If you kvetch long enough, things will happen to you!"
  • Jump Scare: "Maybe they should have done [the bears outside Rushin' River Outfitters] in CGI. Even that would have been better than..." (the poster from Yogi Bear suddenly flashes on screen with suspenseful music) "...GAAAAAAH NO IT WOULDN'T NO IT WOULDN'T NO IT WOULDN'T GET IT OFF THE SCREEN!!!"
    • The abrupt end to the intermission in his EPCOT video.
  • Large Ham
    • The All-Being.
    • Jerk himself often is this.
  • Limited Wardrobe: Always wears the same black shirt, probably to maintain continuity with his opener and closer.
  • Mid-Review Sketch Show: And HOW. Lampshaded in the Halloween special.
    Jerk: Wow, this might actually be a one-part episode! If I can keep my hilarious digressions to a minimum. Speaking of which, I read the most fascinating article on Lithuania today...
  • N-Word Privileges: The Jerk (who is Jewish) seems to quite enjoy abusing his own.
    • Makes a Holocaust joke in his EPCOT video. Interestingly, he's careful to mention that he is Jewish first.
    • His very first video The Country Bears includes one, when claiming Tennessee's trait of being loudly obnoxious makes him a "Bear Jew".
    • In "ABC Goes To Disney World", he notes the skyway with Eisner and Mickey has stopped moving, and demands they get it moving again before "Mickey finds out how tasty Jews are". He then hears some munching, and asks who'd like to let him hide in their attic.
    • Apparently, there are alternate dimensions with world peace but Jews aren't allowed there. Looks like Mel Gibson was right.
    • Lampshaded in his crossover with Animated Analysis.
    Jerk: You're just jealous because I'm allowed to make Holocaust jokes!
    Stephan: That doesn't matter!
    Jerk: Hey everyone! Stephan just said the Holocaust doesn't matter!
  • Our Slogan Is Terrible: Star Tours II's slogan for Mos Eisley Cantina. Also, Jerk's own slogans for Detroit, Geekvision, IMDB, and Chris Hansen's Decoy Houses.
  • Pedo Hunt: A Running Gag. The Jerk is repeatedly harassed by Chris Hansen, who often misconstrues what he says.
  • Precision F-Strike: At the very end of his Escape from Tomorrow review, after hearing the director compare people visiting Disneyland to lemmings jumping off a cliff.
    Jerk: Fuck you!
  • Product Placement: Frequently parodied, including his show's very own ads.
    Jerk: One of these following products causes the same cancer that killed Walt! See if you can guess which! (Cue mid-show commercial)
  • Right-Hand Cat: Michael Eisner, as portrayed by Jerk, has one as a Bond villain impersonation, named Jeffrey Kittykatzenberg. During the DCA review he accidentally tosses it into his fireplace, and in the Full House review he's forced to eat it.
  • Running Gag:
    • Some Jerk's one-off characters have a tendency to suffer cardiac arrest and die once their skits end. Lampshaded in Jerk's "Season 2 Outtakes OUTTAKES!"
    Scott Baio: Oh for God's sake, another heart attack? You know you've done this joke to death! (collapses) Literally.
    • Claiming that one of his advertisers did something terrible. "See if you can guess which one!"
    • Portraying Mike Eisner as evil, often with an Eyepatch of Power and Right-Hand Cat.
    • IMDB: What you do instead of things!
    • Previously, on acid / The Jerk Jerkman Show / Some Camera with a Jerk / etc.
    • Recent episodes have the Jerk quoting and poking fun at Buzz Lightyear's lines from a Disneyland California Adventure ad that had been played for a while on Blip at the time.
  • Self-Deprecation: Frequent, but also referenced at Disney's stake:
    Jerk: Even Disney hates this ride so much they dissed it in one of their biggest movies ever!
    Scar: NO! NO! Anything but that!
    Jerk: AWW SNAP! Disney disses Disney! Take that... Yourselves. Uptop!
  • Shaggy Dog Story: His video on the Walt Disney Family Museum. During his first visit, his camera's battery goes out, forcing him to call off filming that day. The next day the museum is closed, and the day after that he has to return to LA. He's since had to put off covering the museum in the near future.
  • Shaped Like Itself: Tony calls DCA "the Disney's California Adventure of theme parks".
  • Shout-Out: Frequent recipients include "Weird Al" Yankovic, Monty Python, Mr. Show, and Back to the Future.
  • Shown Their Work: Especially in his DCA and EPCOT videos.
  • Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: As of the EPCOT video, Chris Hansen.
  • Story Arc: His Halloween episode leads right into his Christmas special, which leads right into his Star Tours II review.
  • Take That:
    • To Chris Hansen who he calls, among other things, "sadistic and crazy."
    • To Mike Eisner, who he plays as a Bond Villain.
    • To Ayn Rand in his commentary video for "Thirty Years of EPCOT." In it, he calls her "the most despicable person who never killed anyone."
  • Those Two Guys: Mikey Insanity and The Rosen Hacker occasionally fit the bill.
    Rosen: Did you hear something?
    Mikey: Who cares? I'm on vacation!
  • Top Ten List: Florida attractions not in California.
  • Unusually Uninteresting Sight: Inverted during Jerk's review of Full House's Disney World episode; he's surprised at how amazed D.J., Stephanie, Michelle, and Kimmy are at the sight of Main Street, pointing out that it's no different from Disneyland's. This leads him to believe the Tanners have never gone to Disneyland, which he finds baffling since they 1.) live in California, and 2.) are clearly wealthy enough to afford at least one trip to the park. He ends up calling Child Services to file a report on (fictional) child abuse on their behalf, only to be put on hold.
  • Wild Mass Guessing: invoked In the new (Channel Awesome) opening, he talks about how Captain EO was revamped into a theater for new Disney movies. He then starts to draw comparisons between Captain EO and Guardians of the Galaxy, realizing that Captain EO is Starlord's father.
  • You Are Fat: Some Jerk's rant against test seats that don't allow for fat people. It has quite a few fat jokes.
    SJWAC: It's a cutting edge ride. That raises the bar higher than a fat guy trying to squeeze into the seat. Okay, who wrote that?
    Phil Bunni: (laughs)
    SJWAC: Not cool! You know, I'm too fat to go on the Dragon Challenge coaster and I'm almost too fat for Forbidden Journey. I just barely made it. I didn't think I'd be able to at first. I had a panic attack. I think I ate a couple of people, but don't worry, I forgive myself. You know it's kind of disgusting how many rides at Universal have those kinds of test seats. And it's not just a fat thing, huge muscular dudes can't ride either, probably. Don't humongoloids and fat sacks of crap deserve their thrills too. It's not like they're (beat) short. Like you. And further more,...
    3 hours later (cut to Phil banging his head against his desk)
    SJWAC: I mean Hagrid can't ride this, but Voldemort could no problem. Is that the kind of wizarding world you want to live in? I'm taking a stand for this. ("Fat" by Weird Al starts) Stop this music, this is serious! (takes a bit of his churro and hamfist)


Alternative Title(s):

Some Jerk With A Camera