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Subverted Rhyme Every Occasion
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alt title(s): Subverted Rhyme Every Time I'm a poet, and I didn't realize it!
"Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll fuck you with a rake"
Roses are red Violets are blue Lots of poems rhyme This one doesn't
So... you're listening to a song, or are one of those crazy Planet Of Hats where everyone speaks in verse. A rhyming couplet is set up, but instead of delivering the completed rhyme as expected, the speaker takes it in a different, non-euphonic direction, either by speaking a different word, having it bleeped out, or being cut-off before completion.
This is most often used for comedy: generally, the rhyme set up and subverted was clearly supposed to be a profanity. It's one of the myriad gimmicks used for Getting Crap Past The Radar, and when used this way is known as a "Miss Susie", after one of the most famous examples. Sometimes in this case the cut-off word will appear in a different context as the first word of the next line (The steamboat went to - Hello operator.) The only way to get the worse Bawdy Songs on American network television.
A subtrope of Last Second Word Swap.
Also, for those who didn't notice the self-referencing trope name, it's supposed to be "Subverted Rhyme Every Time."
Examples
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Music
- A clean classic from U2's "Some Days Are Better Than Others"
Some days you're quick
but most days you're speedy
Some days you use
more force than is necessary
- Another clean lyric with different words than you'd think - Hieroglyphics' Throw it in Ya Grill:
A little bit of this is all I need
Can't wait to get home and smoke some salmon
Throw it in ya grill, then called my seed (scene?)
And when the street lights go off, we're jammin
- Not where you thought they'd go with that, was it?
- From the Weird Al song "I'm So Sick of You":
You don't have an ounce of class
You're just one big pain in the neck
- From Daphne and Celeste's cover of "School's Out"
"Sitting in Class
Is a pain in the neck''
- From Alice Cooper's I Love America:
I love my bar and I love my truck
I'd do most anything to make a buck
I love a waitress who loves to... flirt!
They're the best kind
- The MC Lars song "Internet Relationships":
Let me send you pics for your personal collection
I hope they inspire you and give you a... smile
And I'm from Mars, and she's from Venus
She has ovaries and I have a... light saber
- From the Stephen Lynch song, "If I Were Gay":
"And if I were gay
We would tear down the walls
But I'm not gay
So won't you stop cupping my...hand!"
- Benny Bell's infamous song "Shaving Cream"; depending on the performance you witness, it has anywhere from 8 to hundreds of verses all in the form:
Our baby fell out of the window
You'd think that her head would be split.
But luck was with her that morning —
She fell in a big pile of shhhhhhhhhhhhh—
—SHAV-ing cream, be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen.
- The Mora Träsk cover of this song, Skidvalla, substitutes ski wax for the shaving cream.
- The Assumption Song by Vito Petroccitto Jr. is entirely based on this trope.
There was an old farmer who lived on a rock
He sat in the meadow shaking his
Fist at the boys playing down by the crick
Their feet in the water their hands on their
Marbles and playthings...
- The entire thing can be heard here
- Allan Sherman used this trope in one of the parodies in his medley "Shticks And Stones" on his 1963 album My Son, The Folk Singer; in this case, he detoured around what was then a borderline obscenity in Yiddish, the word "schmuck":
Oh, I'm Melvin Rose of Texas,
And my friends all call me Tex.
When I lived in old New Mexico,
They used to call me Mex.
When I lived in old Kentucky,
They called me Old Kentuck.
I was born in old Shamokin,
Which is why they call me Melvin Rose.
- The Killers, Mr. Brightside:
Now they're going to bed,
And my stomach is sick,
And it's all in my head,
But she's touching his chest, now
He takes off her dress, now...
- Also possibly the chorus.
Churning lovesick lullabies,
Choking on your alibis,
But it's just the price I pay.
Destiny is calling me.
Opens up one eager eye.
'Cause I'mmm Mr. Brightside.
- The obscenity-ducking is inverted in Jonathan Coulton's First of May:
Grass below you, sky above,
Celebrate Spring with a crazy little thing called... Fuckin' outside.
- And in Chiron Beta Prime by the same artist:
That's all the family news that we're allowed to talk about
We hope you come and visit us soon
I mean we're literally begging you to visit us
And make it quick before they [MESSAGE REDACTED].
- Subverted rhymes aren't always obscured obscenities. From Brian May's song "'39":
And the night followed day
And the storytellers say
That the score brave souls inside
For many a lonely day
Sailed across the milky seas
- Popular cheer for cheerleaders:
Ra! Ra! Rhee! Kick 'em in the knee!
Ra! Ra! Rhass! Kick 'em in the other knee!
- Ah, but don't forget the inverted version:
Ra! Ra! Rhass! Kick 'em in the ass!
Ra! Ra! Rhee! Kick 'em in the other ass!
- Another cheer like this:
Rick em! Rack em! Rock em! Ruck em! Go out there and really fight em!
- One more cheer:
We eat Wheaties! We are fit! The other team doesn't! They eat shhh...redded wheat!
- And another!
Chocolate, Strawberry, Banana Split! We think your team plays like, SHIFT to the left, shift to the right...
- Variation: In this performance of Roy Zimmerman's song "Ted Haggard Is Completely Heterosexual", there is the following couplet:
Zimmerman: Now Ted's a little haggard, but he's thankful for the schism,
[audience laughter]
Zimmerman: [speaking] "You're right, but wait for it."
[sings] And you might find it hard to swallow...the syllogism...
- Also, in "Saddam Shame":
Now we've learned our lesson: it's hard to conduct
A war when the prewar intelligence sucked.
Now some say the country is totally f...ar from anything a well-meaning superpower could ever hope to reconstruct.
- And again in "Summer of Loving":
Find a white dress or a tux;
It ain't nobody's business who a person marries.
- And a cleaner, more subtle version in "Defenders of Marriage":
One summer evening when my woman was doing laundry
I shared a six-pack with an old John Bircher
And oh so wisely he imparted an ancient quandary
To ponder: He
Said, "It's nature versus...legislature."
- From Acid Bath's "Paegan Love Song":
You scream,
I scream,
Everybody scream
For morphine
- From the Bob and Tom Song "Snailman"
Sometimes he drives a big car,
Sometimes he drives a truck,
He knows you're in a hurry,
He doesn't give a darn
- Mitch Benn loves this trope:
- In "Apathy Song":
I really couldn't be bothered:
My mind was totally blank.
So I made myself a cup of tea,
Read the paper, had a w-alk in the park.
- In "Boy Band":
And we've already had a hit,
And you're listening to it,
And I'm sure you think it sh-ould be number one already!
- Another one from a song he performed on The Now Show:
You gave us digital and satellite,
You never said they would be sh-ockingly bad!
- And from "Tabloid Journalists":
They'd exploit any tragedy that makes them a buck,
And if it makes things worse they don't give a f...
..Or your own protection you'd better beware,
There are tabloid journalists everywhere.
- And again in a song about the return of amusingly deformed vegetables, and what this might mean for Esther Rantzen (who spent the 70s and 80s anchoring a show that featured them heavily):
She knows very well she had the easiest job,
Just holding up a parsnip that looked just like a kno .. ughty thing!
- And again in "David Cameron Said Tw..", at the end of every verse (except the last one which just bleeps it out).
- And yet again in "We Love Our NHS":
We heard your stories, we're here to bring the missing bit,
And if you're losing your own argument, could just be you're full of shanana da da da da naa
- Comedy artist Worm Quartet performed "Spatula", with multiple instances of the approaching mention of male genitalia being the cue for the chorus of "Spatula, spatula, spatula..."
- Tom Lehrer uses this trope in a few of his songs.
- It's parodied in The Folk Song Army (along with just about every other folk song trope).
The tune don't have to be cle-ver,
And it don't matter if you put a couple extra syllables into a line.
It sounds more ethnic if it ain't good English,
And it don't even gotta rhyme.
Excuse me, rine.
- An even better example occurs in "My Home Town", where Tom Lehrer replaces an entire line with "I'd better leave this line out just to be on the safe side" or "We're recording tonight, so I'll have to leave this line out", depending on which recording you're listening to (the former for the original studio recording, the latter for a later live performance). The really funny thing about this particular example is that there is no line to leave out. Try as he might, Tom Lehrer couldn't come up with anything that actually rhymed and that sounded better than simply suggesting that there was a line, but he wasn't allowed to include it.
- To provide some context, the entire song is a cheerful ditty about all the charming folks in his home town... And about how unspeakably, amorally depraved each one is. The elided line would have described "Good ol' Parson Brown." Given the values of the time...
- They Might Be Giants' "Kiss Me, Son Of God:"
Now you're the only one here
Who can tell me if it's true,
That you love me,
And I love me.
- This is debatable, but I think they set up "exploited working class" to rhyme with "kiss my ass", but instead used "kiss me, son of god." If you know the song title, you can see this one coming.
- Fred Wedlock's 'Handier Household Help' [to name but one of his comic songs to do this]
And you can bung it down the toilet. You can spread it down your halls.
You can buy it in pint canisters for putting on your...banisters.
It removes the stains from carpet, the blemishes from glass,
Keeps your radio free from static. It will fumigate your...attic. (And so on...)
- In Draco and the Malfoys' "Potions Yesterday":
We were teamed up in duelling class/But no one else believed that I could knock you on your bum
- Sometimes inverted in concert.
- From Deirdre Flint's Cheerleader:
A cheerleader might not have her GED but she's pursuing one.
A cheerleader might not be a CEO but she'll be... dating one.
- The Arrogant Worms are often miscredited with The Assumption Song (see above). Although they never recorded that song, they have pulled this trope with I Pulled My Groin:
I pulled my groin, I pulled my groin
It hurts me when I skate, but not when I master... hills
- The pirate-themed band The Jolly Rogers have recorded a song called "The Clean Song" (possibly NSFW) whose lyrics consist entirely of this trope, except for the very end.
- In the same vein is a supposed "Old English Folk Song", sung here by Bob Saget.
- Although it wasn't a rhyme, the context and the word omitted suggests omitting "surrender" from the song "Valley of the Damned" by Dragonforce was quite meaningful:
Our hearts filled with splendor
Our souls will start over
- Bat for Lashes' version of Bruce Springsteen's "I'm On Fire":
Sometimes it's like someone took a knife, baby, edgy and blunt
And cut a six-inch valley through the middle of my... soul
- That's "dull" and "soul". So it doesn't belong here at all.
- The Danish comedy quartet "Ørkenens Sønner" does this all the time. Since they've only performed in Danish, this troper will not give an example.
- Used twice in the Bowling For Soup song "99 Biker Friends" which is insulting an un-named abusive boyfriend that titular biker friends and the band wish to beat up. The first time it was played straight:
Such a big man
Such a little chick
I think it all
Goes back to your tiny... pick up truck
- The second time was very much subverted:
Tell her that you're sorry
Blame it on the beer
Your dad was mean to you
Your friends think you're... an asshole.
And I do too
Over compensating
For your small shoe
- The profanity-ducking version is Subverted by The Pogues in "The Old Main Drag":
One evening as I was lying down by Leicester Square
I was picked up by the coppers and kicked in the balls
- The ending of Peter Gabriel's "Big Time":
Big time, my belly's getting bigger
Big time, and my bank account
Big time, look at my circumstance
Big time, and the bulge in my big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big, hi there
- Certain versions of the song just end it after the last "big".
- I believe that only the music video version ends with the "Hi there," which is clearly taken from the beginning of the song.
- Genesis pulled this to neat effect in "Land of Confusion". The rhyme of the first couplet in the refrain suggests exactly the opposite of the word used in the second:
This is the world we live in
And these are the hands we're given
Use them and let's start trying
To make it a place worth living in
- Another obscenity free example comes from "I Wish I was a Hudson" by...ummmm...the Hudsons.
...Where I'd quickly learn the system,
Start giving good advice
I'd drink a barrel of whiskey
And I'd eat my beans and...maybe some cornbread. Maybe some cornbread!
- From the Dead Milkmen
My Baby drives... a truck
My Baby sure is... good luck
My Baby has a ... pet duck
My Baby is a heck of a f... friend
- In the song "Rehab Center for Fictional Characters"
Tony the Tiger:Every day I wake up
And I get to work late
My boss says "Hey whats up"
And I say that I'm Grrrrrrrrrrrrrowing tired of this shit
- By the same artist, My Whole Family
My whole family thinks I'm gay
I guess it's always been that way
Maybe it's 'cause of the way I walk
That makes them think that I like... boys
- For reference, here is (one version) of 'Miss Susie', which originated as a jump-rope rhyme:
Miss Susie had a steamboat
The steamboat had a bell
Miss Susie went to Heaven
The steamboat went to
Hello operator
Please give me number nine
And if you disconnect me,
I'll paddle your
Behind the refrigerator
There was a piece of glass
Miss Susie sat upon it and broke her little
Ask me no more questions
Tell me no more lies
The boys are in the girls' room
Pulling down their
flies are in the city
bees are in the park
Miss Susie and her boyfriend
Are kissing in the
D-A-R-K
D-A-R-K
D-A-R-K
[fast] DARK, DARK, DARK
Dark is like a movie
A movie's like a show
A show is like a TV screen
And that is all I know
I know I know my mother
I know I know my pa
I know I know my sister
With the alligator bra!
- This Troper heard this version, although the original editor left out the lines leading up to the kissing in the... part. Also, after the DARK DARK DARK, the lines This Troper had learned was:
Darker than the Ocean
Darker than the Sea
Darker than the underwear my grandma gave to me
I know I know my mother
I know I know my pa
I know I know my sister
with the 40-acre bra!
- This troper always followed the "40-acre bra" line with:
My mother is a lawyer
My father is a cop
My sister is in prison
for taking off her TOP TOP TOP!
- This troper always heard it as:
Miss Lucy had a steamboat
The steamboat had a bell
Miss Lucy went to Heaven
The steamboat went to
Hello operator
Please give me number nine
And if you disconnect me,
I'll paddle your
Behind the refrigerator
There was a piece of glass
Miss Lucy sat upon it and broke her little
Ask me no more questions
Tell me no more lies
Miss Lucy's in the bathtub
With forty naked guys
She dyed her hair in purple
She dyed her hair in pink
She dyed her hair in underwear
And flushed it down the sink!
- Another version from my mother:
Miss Lucy had a steamboat
The steamboat had a bell
Miss Lucy went to Heaven
The steamboat went to
Hello operator
Please give me number nine
And if you disconnect me,
I'll kick you in the
Behind the refrigerator
There was a piece of glass
Miss Lucy sat upon it and broke her dirty
Ask me no questions
Please tell me no more lies
Miss Lucy told me this
The day before she
DIE DIE DIED!
- The one This Troper heard was similar to the above versions, but with the following ending:
... Ask me no more questions
And I'll tell you no more lies
Miss Susie told me all of this
The day before she
Dyed her hair all purple
She dyed her hair all pink
She dyed her hair all polka-dot
And washed it down the
Sink me in the ocean
Please sink me in the sea
Flush me down the toilet
But please don't pee on me!
- At this troper's elementary school, the part after DARK DARK DARK went like this:
Her mother's in the kitchen
Her boyfriend's in the hall
Susie's in the bathroom
Peeing on the wall
- A somewhat similar nursery rhyme-type song:
Three little angels, all dressed in white
Trying to get to heaven on the end of a kite
The kite string broke and down they all fell
Instead of going to heaven, they all went to
Two little angels... (This continues on until the end of 'one little angel'.)
Don't get excited
Don't lose your head
Instead of going to heaven
They all went to bed.
- Another kids' song, to the tune of "If You're Happy And You Know It":
His name was Nobby Hall, Nobby Hall
His name was Nobby Hall, Nobby Hall
His name was Nobby Hall, and he only had one... finger
His name was Nobby Hall, Nobby Hall
He went to rob a bank, and he stopped to have a... sandwich
The copper he came quick, and they caught him by his... elbow
The judge's name was Annie, and she had a hairy... head
- A no-obscenity version for subtle emphasis in "Mad World":
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
- The Magnetic Fields' "Fido, Your Leash Is Too Long" does this twice:
You scare me out of my wits
When you do that Shih Tzu
- Digital Underground's "Doowutchyalike"
Homegirls, for once, forget you got class,
See a guy you like: just grab 'im in the biscuits!
- In "The Freckle Song":
She was born in Hackensack
she made a fortune on her... career!
- Julie Brown's comedy song "I Like Them Big and Stupid":
I met a guy, who drives a truck
He can't tell time but he sure can drive
- Bowser and Blue's "Polkadot Undies" is entirely built on this trope, and it even lampshades it in the last verse.
The moral of this story, like a jewel it is gleamin'.
But you'll never find it in a glass of warm...
Milk or tea, 'cause it will not fit,
And you probably already think I am full of...
Vague innuendos and double-meanin' rhymes.
But I'll tell you that obscenity is all in your...
Polka-dot undies!
- Alanis Morissette, in a show of support, altered the lyrics of her song "Ironic" to:
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife,
It's like meeting the man of my dreams...and meeting his beautiful new husband.
- Lampshaded in Pink Floyd's "Cymbaline":
The path you tread is narrow and the trumpets sheer and very high
the ravens all are watching from a vantage point nearby
aprehension creeping like a tube train up your spine
will the tight rope reach the end, will the final couplet rhyme?
- The final couplet of the song, of course, is the only one which doesn't rhyme.
- Subverted by comedian Brian Posehn's "Metal By Numbers" which sets up a obscene rhyme, only to replace it with another word, that means the same thing.
It's metal by numbers!
it's not arithmetic!
John Mayer or Kelly Clarkson,
they both can suck my... penis
- Done in Jib Jab's latest 'Year in Review' song, where the lyrics cut to the same word, only in a different context.
Global market meltdowns, A bailout by the Fed Fanny, Freddy, AIG and Lheman crapped the Bedlam in Afghanistan The Big Three self-destruct Jessie Jackson threatened to cut off Obama's Nutjobs made a bigfoot And Spitzer's friend turned tricks Duchovny went to rehab 'coz he couldn't control his Dick needed a kickstart, the US needed gas Harry showed the world his wand and Miley showed her Ask me any question, I'll give it to you straight For your sake kid I sure do hope '09 ain't like '08
- Tally Hall presents a pseudo-example of this for a blink-and-you'll-miss-it gag in the song "Haiku":
I've never thought much of formulaic verse anyway
And rhymes are not my forte. [correctly pronounced as "fort"]
- From "Backdoor Lover", the song-within-a-band-within-a-movie from the Josie And The Pussycats film (wherein the title is a metaphor for both secret affairs and, ah, "unorthodox" sexual relations (If You Know What I Mean)):
Some people use the front door
But that's never been my way
Just 'cause i slip in back doors,
Well, that doesn't make me... hey!
- Multiply double-subverted in Anthrax's song "I'm the Man":
"Drink the drinks, the drinks they drank
I put my money in the bank
They cut their crack, they offer joints
We don't do drugs, do you get our..."
"Meaning!"
"Point! Point! Watch the beat!"
- When younger, this troper's mum had always sung a lovely little song entitled Sweet Violets that does this trope for the entirety of the song. A snippet:
There once was a farmer who took a young miss
behind the barnyard and gave her a lecture
on gooses and chickens and eggs
and told her she had the most beautiful manners
that suited a girl of her charm
a girl that he'd like to take up in his washing and ironing
and then if she did
then they could get married and raise lots of sweet violets!
- This troper loves that song like crazy, but first got acquainted with it by a live version performed by Folk Underground that was not... shall we say, so clean. Similar principles apply.
- The Rick Moranis song "9 More Gallons" pulls this in the first two verses (the third verse has a similar subverted intent, but manages to rhyme anyway):
I work all day
To pay the rent
Before the money's earned
It's all been allocated
- And in the second:
Work all night
I'm always tired.
Hope my boss
Doesn't get me laid off.
- This troper's mother taught me this one:
Spider Spider on the wall
Ain't you got no sense at all?
Don't you know that wall's been plastered?
Get off the wall, you stupid spider.
- Brook Benton's "Boll Weevil Song":
The boll weevil said to the farmer
"Farmer, I'd like to wish you well"
Farmer said to the boll weevil
"Yeah, and I wish that you went...lookin' for a home..."
- Fairly common in the song Oh, You'll Never Go To Heaven:
Oh you'll never go to heaven on a blade of grass, 'Cos a blade of grass will cut your leg.
Oh you'll never go to heaven in a portaloo,
'Cos a portaloo is full of water.
- The Amateur Transplants' "Beautiful Song", to the tune of James Blunt's "You're Beautiful", tells the story of a young boy and his middle-aged best friend:
Your name is Clive and you're forty-five But you don't let that come between us And you make me hold your hand
You are my babysitter
You still take me up the shops
- The Pixies' "Vamos":
They'll come and play
Their friends will say
Your daddy's rich
Your mama's a pretty thing
- The Violent Femmes' "Gimme The Car", where the profane rhymes are suddenly interrupted by guitar slides:
Come on dad, I ain't no runt
Come on girl, gimme your- *sproing*
- Every verse of "The Air Is Getting Slippery" by Primus ends on one of these:
Now if you want an encore
You might hear "Is It Luck?"
'Cause I don't give a-
Forgive me if I hesitate
- Also from Primus; Mr Knowitall
They call me Mr. Knowitall
I am so eloquent.
Perfection is my middle name
And whatever rhymes with eloquent.
- "Please Play This Song On The Radio" by NoFX (Written as 'rhyme' but pronounced another way):
Almost every line in sung in time
Almost every verse ends in a rim
- "Stutter Rap" by Morris Minor and the Majors uses this well in two separate ways:
And it breaks my heart that we're not on the chart
'cause the record's nearly over when the vocals start
And I'm down and out, and I'm down on my luck
And I'm livin' on my own and I'm dying for a f-riend to say "You're great!"
But I'm under the hammer
'cause all I seem to do is s-s-s-st—
If the A-side makes a hit
We don't care if this is missed
'Cause the sonner we get finished
The sooner we get home
- Tim Wilson did a comedy sketch called "Love Songs for Losers" in which he offered fake clips from love songs for people with very un-sexy names. One of them had the lyric:
Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck
I think she finally wants to fffffffffforget about yesterday.
- In the song "Into Your Arms" by The Maine, the first few lines go as follows:
There was a new girl in town
She had it all figured out.
And I'll state something rash,
She had the most amazing...smile.
I bet you didn't expect that,
But she made me change my ways...
- From L'America, by The Doors;
''C'mon, people, don't you look so down
You know the rainman's comin' to town
He'll change your weather, change your luck
And then he'll teach you how to... find yourself!''
- Many country songs subvert a rhyme to "ass": "Honky Tonk Attitude" by Joe Diffie, "You Ain't Much Fun" by Toby Keith, "Men" by The Forester Sisters, etc. Diffie uses a "well", and the other two use a "yeah".
- Chad Brock's "Lightning Does the Work" takes it a step further:
I've seen lightning blow a cypress tree in half
The thunder's busy talkin', and lightning's kickin'… (thunderclap)
- Chico Buarque, Brazilian musician, once used this in his song "Cálice". This song was a heavy protest against the military dictatorship that occupied Brazil back then. The subverted rhyme was a way of Getting Crap Past The Radar, making it a rare non-comedic example. Being such a serious and powerful song, most people appreciate the subtlety. AND it actually rhymes better this way. Yes, Chico is a genius!! It's also unusual in that the substituted part is before the part it is supposed to rhyme (he substituted the word puta, that means bitch or whore, for the word outra, other).
De que me vale ser filho da santa
Melhor seria ser filho da outra
Outra realidade menos morta
Tanta mentira, tanta força bruta
- I kinda did a translation for English-speaking people, sorry if it's bad, Cálice is very hard to translate.
What's the worth of being son of the saint
Would be better being son of the other
Another reality, less dead
So many lies, so much brute force
- Mr. Brown by Glow:
Yes, Mr. Brown just doesn’t look as if he’s rich
‘Cause all the money he earns goes directly in the bank
- The Lonely Island inverts using this trope for censorship in "We Like Sportz."
Single, double, triple, home run
For the celebration I'll shoot my gun
I like my friend, he's a real guy's guy
He's not a loudmouth like that cunthole, Steve!
- "A Boy Named Sue" by Johnny Cash. How Did We Miss This One?!
I got all choked up and I threw down my gun
And I called him my pa, and he called me his son
And I came away with a different point of view
And I think about him, now and then
Every time I try and every time I win
And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him… Bill or George! Anything but Sue! I still hate that name!
- Del Tha Funkee Homosapien's "What Is A Booty?" includes:
On behalf of my behind
I feel it is my duty to my booty
To be head of the class
When it comes to... butts
- Some of the alternate verses to "Old Time Religion" play with this, but specifically Lampshaded in:
I will worship the great god Loki,
he's the Norse god of chaos
that's why this verse doesn't have any meter or rhyme sceme or anything like that
and that's good enough for me.
- "If You Can't Smoke It, Kick It to Death":
They may tell you it's only their job,
But they love it every bit,
So when they say it's not their way they're talking a lot of hypocrisy
They hate you!
- Most iterations of the chorus to A Tribe Called Quest's "Ham N' Eggs" do use the expected rhyme ("Not at all"), but towards the end of the song it's momentarily switched to:
I don't eat no ham n' eggs
Cuz they're high in cholesterol
Afrika do you eat 'em? No.
Pos, do you eat 'em?
Hell yeah, all the time!
- Dream Theater's "As I Am". Might not be intentional, but it works anyway. Every time this troper hears that song, the phrase seems like it should be "You cannot touch the way I roll"
You're thinking too much
Where is your soul?
You cannot touch the way I
Play
Or tell me what to say
- Toy Matinee's "Turn it on Salvador" (quite probably the only song ever written about Un Chien Andalou) contains this. Quoted directly from the lyrics insert:
Even tied, eggs you fried, out of luck
What the [some 15th century German word]
[some 15th century German word]
- This may render the lyrics impossible for anyone to sing ever again, since the singer/main songwriter died, others might not remember the word, and it is incomprehensibly slurred and trailing-off; it sounds a tiny bit similar to "squawk."
- "Chippy Tea" by The Lancashire Hotpots:
Her inspiration's Ready Steady Cook
Am I eating it? Am I... It's Friday night, I want a chippy tea!
- "I Met a Girl on My Space" is even better:
It were from a lass in Lancashire, her page had loads of hits I saw the pictures in her profile, she had absolutely massive too-ra-loo-ra-aye! and: She said she had no transport, so a lift she'd cadge And if I played my cards right, I'd get to feel her too-ra-loo-ra-aye!
- In Eric Bogle's "Introduction Song", in which the members of the band introduce themselves, the bass player gets this:
I play electric bass,
With an educated thumb,
If you think my face is hairy,
(instrumental line)
Western Animation
- Billy and Irwin sing a song like this in the Billy and Mandy episode "Go Kart 3000":
We built this car
All by ourselves,
If you don't like it
You can go to... heck!
- There's also this classic gem.
Sassy Cat, Sassy Cat, full of sass, full of sass, if you don't like it you can kiss her BUTT!
- Animaniacs did this in a segment of "Dot's Poetry Corner".
Dot: Beans, beans, the musical fruit.
The more you eat, the more you get kicked off the air for finishing this poem.
- From the Family Guy episode "Brian Sings and Swings":
Brian: I love the work of Allen Funt.
Stewie: Or a nicely shaven leg.
- And again, in "Road to Europe":
Brian: Cause you get a kick out of carnage and guts.
Stewie: And you get a kick out of stroking your—
Brian: Whoa whoa. You can't say that on TV.
Stewie: What, "ego"?
Brian: Never mind.
- "I Need a Jew" was Bowdlerized into this, rhyming "Jew" with "light," "slap," and "Lord."
- In Stewie and Brian's song at the Emmys:
Brian: Now, The Sopranos is a show I recommend. Stewie: Because you never know just how it's gonna- ( cut to black screen)
- Peter does this in a scene where he is imagining he's in an 80's sitcom.
Peter: My black son, my black son/ Now everyday my heart is getting bigger/ My black son, my black son/ I don't even remember sleeping with that lady...
- Wendy Testaburger did a version of the "Miss Susie" song in one episode of South Park.
Mrs Landers was a health nut. She cooked food in a wok. Mr Harris was her boyfriend, and he had a great big Cock-a-doodle-doodle, the rooster just won't quit And I don't want my breakfast, because it tastes like Shih Tzus make good house pets. They're cuddly and sweet. Monkeys aren't good to have, because they like to beat their Meeting in the office or meeting in the hall, The boss, he wants to see you so you can suck his Balzac was a writer, he lived with Allen Funt Mrs Roberts didn't like him, but that's 'cause she's a Contaminated water can really make you sick. Your bladder gets infected, and blood comes out your Dictate what I'm saying, 'cause it will bring you luck And if you all don't like it, I don't give a flying fuck.
When Brian Boitano traveled through time
To the year three thousand ten,
He fought the evil robot king
And saved us all again
When Brian Boitano built the pyramids
He beat up Kubla Khan,
'Cause Brian Boitano doesn't take shit from an - y bo - dy...
- The second verse of the My Gym Partner's a Monkey theme song:
Adam: Bull shark! Porcupine! I don't know what!
Going to this school's a pain in the—
Jake: Adam!
Adam: What? I was gonna say "neck".
Jake: Oh. That's okay, then.
- An episode of The Fairly Oddparents lampshades this, with Timmy being sent to the planet Yugopotamia, which has been conquered by the Gigglepies, an alien species that wear cuteness and rhyming as a hat. When Timmy inquires to their overlord about what they will do to their planet:
Overlord: Exactly what we do to every planet we conquer! We'll blow it up and move on to the next one! Isn't that cute?
Timmy: That's horrible! And it didn't rhyme!
- Garfield And Friends: 47's told in verse, except the last line which is not. Don't worry, folks, he wouldn't curse, but see the twist this cat hath... made:
Garfield: And now, this tale I must suspend / For I have come to... the finish.
"Fit For A King"
- Taken to an extreme (and for no reason) by South Park:
And when Brian Boitano built the pyramids, he beat up Kubla Khan
'cause Brian Boitano doesn't take shit from a...ny...bo...dy!
- The Simpsons in "30 Minutes over Tokyo":
Homer Simpson: I once knew a man from Nantucket...
Bart: And?
Homer: Let's just say the stories about him are greatly exaggerated.
- The Musical Recap of Reboot's 3rd season features these lyrics:
Actor Dot: But Megabyte betrayed Bob and
He threw him deep inside the pit
The pit was closed
and Bob was hosed
and all that he could say was
Actor Bob: Noooo!
- The Maxx does this after becoming trapped in a cartoon. He speaks in rhyme throughout the entire sequence, until:
To be first in the soil which erupts in a coil
Of trees, vines, and grasses all brought to a boil
Wait, it's different somehow 'cause this land isn't mine
And my brain has been freed, I'm not thinking in...poetry stuff.
Web Original
- Lampshaded in Yu Gi Oh The Abridged Series, in the duel against the rhyming Paradox Brothers.
Para: We are villains who like to rhyme...
Dox: In fact, we do it all the time.
Para: You may think it's rather crass...
Dox: But you can stick your cards right up your nose.
Para: ...You were supposed to say "ass," brother. I thought we rehearsed this.
- A cult You Tube video parodies the Nickelback song Rockstar with new lyrics lampooning pop singers such as Britney Spears and Ashlee Simpson:
I'm gonna dress myself without an ounce of class,
Gonna make the boys all drool and stare at my ... glasses
- Used cleverly on multiple occasions in Commentary! The Musical, the musical commentary to Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog:
There's internal rhyme
Although not every instance.
- In Zero Punctuation's review of Saints Row 2:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Your house is covered
In piles of excrement
- The Assumption Song is made entirely of subverted (dirty) rhymes.
- Cabel Sasser does this in ''Buggy Saints Row: The Musical'':
My car door's freaking out; it seems to be forever
In the concrete barricade; I wonder how I'm ever going to drive away.
This really isn't my day.
Sparks are flying, people dying, metal frying,
And I wonder if there's more to life or if I'll find that this is really it.
This game is a piece of work.
- A music video for The Guild, Date My Avatar, uses this:
I'm much better than a real-world quest
You can touch my... +2 to dexterity vest
- In this Im A Marvel And Im ADC episode with Deadpool singing: I'm sure that his power ring's a lot of fun/ but can it ever really be as cool as my M16 with laser sided scope oh my GOD I love this thing.
- Break It Down, a short skit from the people who would later form Tally Hall, includes the following plan to make a quick buck:
"I have a better plan
I'll marry a wealthy man."
"Wouldn't that make you gay?"
"Not neccesari-lay...
...I'll sleep in a separate bed,
and I'll refrain from giving...
[beat]
...kisses."
Live Action TV
- From the Musical Episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Once More, With Feeling:
You're the cutest of the Scoobies
with your lips as red as rubies
and your firm yet supple... tight embrace!
- Which is incidentally a callback to an earlier verse in which Xander dodges a crudity without breaking the rhyme:
She is the one, she's such wonderful fun
such passion and grace.
Warm in the night, when I'm right in her tight
... embrace. Tight embrace!
- Also inverted a few times in that same musical episode: there are several instances where a song is interrupted, and then it is always the case that the interruption rhymes, while there seems no obvious way the intended line could have:
She's just going through the motions,
faking it somehow.
She's not even half the girl she... ow!
- The second season theme song for Slings And Arrows, where it's The Scottish Trope instead of an obscenity that's being obscured:
Every soul that plays this role risks injury or death, I'd rather sweep the bloody stage than ever do MacYouKnowWho.
- From That 70s Show:
Michael Kelso: If this van's a rockin'... we're in there doing it!
- Colin Mochrie, of Whose Line Is It Anyway fame, is very good at improv—but his talents do not lie in music. Inexplicably, during the American run of the show, Drew Carey's favorite game was Hoedown (his excitement at it visibly irritated Ryan Stiles at times), meaning it was performed very often. Mochrie didn't even try to sing most of the time, rhyming in a sort of chant. However, gleefully subverted the format several times—in one about the lottery, saying he didn't care anymore, speaking briefly in tongues, running around the studio, and hugging an attractive audience member; another time, in a callback to an earlier gaffe with his microphone's battery, mouthing words but saying nothing, ending in "my battery pack!"; and once ending a hoedown verse about a traumatic event in "I lost the ability to rhyme" (which did not, obviously, rhyme with the previous line).
- On the other hand, however, many of the other stars on the show, particularly Greg Proops, do this so often and easily that subverting a profane rhyme is called "Pulling a Greg" in the fan community. Example:
The other day my girlfriend said 'Greg, you wanna thrill'?
She took me to a bridge at the bottom of a hill.
She tied the rope to my leg and I ran out of luck.
For when she pushed me off that bridge, I just yelled out 'wow'."
- Drew did it at least once: "I hope soon that I get out all my stitches / 'Cause let me tell you, brother, they hurt like sons of guns."
- Drew also inverted it in the "Children" Hoedown:
I don't pay alimony, I don't pay child support, I don't pay nothing of no kind of that sort, I get to keep all the money that I'm paid, How can you have any children if you never ever get f (BEEP)—hey!"
- No less a performer than Robin Williams once used the above cheer in a game of Props.
- This was a gag about Once An Episode in Up Pompeii where one of the characters, an extremely virginial young man would compose odes to his current crush which would suggest an obviously bawdy rhyme which was invariably subverted.
- The limerick version popped up again in Boy Meets World
Cory: There once was a boy named Cory.
Eric: Who now has an interesting story.
Cory: He learned about kissing.
Eric: And all he was missing...
Shawn: When he and Topanga made out!
Cory: Shawn, can we say "summer school"?
- The Amanda Show had an example of this, when a boy in a classroom full of superpowered kids had the power of super rhyming.
Teacher: Alright, get out of class!
Student: Oh no, my dad's gonna kick my—
Teacher: Be quiet!
- The Kids In The Hall had a song called Daves I Know, where the final line of almost every verse breaks the rhyme AND meter.
- 30 Rock has the novelty song,
Werewolf Bar Mitzvah!
Spooky! Scary!
Boys becoming men,
Men becoming wolves!
- On The Muppet Show, during the Loretta Lynn episode, Fozzie, Scooter, Annabelle, and Link Hogthrob sing what's supposedly "The Rhyming Song". As might be expected, none of the lines in the verses rhyme. (They're also disjointed, but that's another story.)
- From the opening of Comic Relief V:
we'll work around the clock
If you don't send enough
I'm gonna have to show my... Comic Relief T-shirt!
- For added effect, he pulls said T-shirt out of his pants.
- The Daily Show used to have a segment called "News You Can Utilize".
Film
- During the Weasel fight in Who Framed Roger Rabbit:
Eddie: I'm through with taking falls And bouncing off the walls Without that gun I'd have some fun And kick you in the... (gets hit in the head) Roger: Nose! Smart Ass Weasel: "Nose"? That don't rhyme with "walls"! Eddie: No, but this does! ( Groin Attack)
- Variation from the musical Altar Boyz: The song is about waiting until marriage to have sex. The line rhymes, but it's still not the word that the audience might be expecting:
So 'till then, I'll have to master... my own fate.
- Always Look On The Bright Side of Life:
Some things in life are bad,
They can really make you mad.
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle,
Don't grumble; give a whistle,
And this'll help things turn out for the best.
- Please Elaborate on how this is an example. Seems like a fairly standard rhyme scheme to me.
- In the first Shrek movie:
Please keep off of the grass
Shine your shoes, wipe your...face.
- Though they do complete a rhyme eventually:
Duloc is, Duloc is, Duloc is a perfect place!
- Shrek the Musical makes a similar joke:
A princess full of sass
And a dragon and a... donkey!
- Done randomly in the new How The Grinch Stole Christmas movie:
"We have a snoozaphone for your brother Stew, and a sousaphone for your brother Drew, a muncle for your uncle, a fant for your aunt, and a fampa.... for your cousin Leon."
- Not to mention:
Why, for year after year
I've put up with it now!
I must stop this Christmas from coming...
But how? Er, I mean, in what way?
- In the 1981 film The Private Eyes, the killer subverts rhyme in each note to the detectives. For example:
If Jock could talk, he'd give you a clue.
But now that he's dead, what can you do?
He deserved what he got. I don't regret it a bit.
By the way, you're standing in bull ca-ca.
- In Ferris Buellers Day Off, thinking he's terminally ill, a stripogram/prostitute dressed as a nurse is sent to his house, and greets him (actually his sister) with the rhyme:
I came to help restore your pluck,
cause I'm the nurse who likes to...
(the door is slammed in her face)
- This was still too vulgar for network TV, and most showings have the door slam before the nurse says anything.
- Cars: Lightning McQueen is trying to sneak out of his personal appearance:
Dusty Rust-eze: Winter is a grand old time
Rusty Rust-eze: Of this there are no ifs and buts
Dusty Rust-eze: But remember, all that salt and grime
Rusty Rust-eze: Can rust your bolts and freeze your... Hey, look! There he is!
- The father in Catch That Kid (a.k.a. Mission Without Permission) uses subverted rhyme when starting go-kart races to tone down the language:
Tom: Let's step on the gas and kick some... butt!
- From The Lord Of The Rings: The Return of the King:
Pretty little fly
Why does it cry?
Caught in a web...
Soon will be ...eaten
- Nacho Libre:
I ate some bugs
I ate some grass
I use my hand
To wipe my tears
- Justified, considering his character is a Catholic monk.
- The Hot Chick had a little rhyme that went like this:
Boys are cheats and liars, They're such a big disgrace
They will tell you anything to get to second...
Baseball, baseball He thinks he's gonna score,
If you let him go all the way then you are a
Horticulturist's study flowers, geologists study rocks,
All a guy wants from you is a place to put his
Cockroaches, beetles, butterflies and bugs
Nothing makes him happier than a giant pair of
Jugglers and acrobats and a dancing bear named Chuck
All boys really want to do is
Fff...orget it no such luck
Literature
- Non-profane use: In the novel The Fairy's Return, one character is constantly making up poems, but he always ends his couplets with a non-rhyming word, even when the word has an obvious synonym that does rhyme.
- In Night Watch, Detritus trains new City Watch recruits, and teaches them his jody (which "somehow, you could tell it was made up by a troll"):
"Now we sing this stupid song
Sing it as we march along
Why we sing this we don't know
We can't make the words rhyme prop'ly!
- In Gödel, Escher, Bach, the Crab puts on a record of himself singing "A Song Without Time or Season." Here's how it goes:
A turner of phrases quite pleasin',
Had a penchant for trick'ry and teasin'.
In his songs, the last line
Might seem sans design;
What I mean is, without why or wherefore.
- Non-comic, non-profane example: In George Herbert's poem "Denial" every stanza (except the last) ends on a non-rhyme, to symbolize the speaker's spiritual crisis.
- Kurt Vonnegut retells one in his novel Breakfast of Champions:
Roses are red
And ready for plucking
You're sixteen years old
And ready for high school
- A long verse appears in Don't Pat the Wombat'
Mary had a little lamb, she also had a duck.
She took it round the corner and taught it how to
Fry some eggs for breakfast, fry some eggs for tea.
The more you eat, the more you drink the more you have to
Peter had a boat, and the boat began to rock.
Up jumped Jaws and bit him on the
Cocktails, ginger alle, fourty cents a glass.
If you don't like them shove it up your
Ask no questions, tell no lies
I saw the boogey man doing up his
Flies are bad, mosquitoes are worse
and this is the end of my silly little verse.
Musical Theater
- In the musical My Fair Lady, Eliza causes pandemonium at the Ascot races by shouting, "Come on, Dover! Move your bloomin' arse!" Shortly afterwards, Freddie is about to rhyme "farce" by repeating her words when Mrs. Pearce interrupts him.
- Later, Eliza sings in "Without You":
You, dear friend, who talk so well,
You can go to
Hartford, Hereford, and Hampshire.
- Higgins' "Why Can't the English" has a very subtle one:
In France, every Frenchman
Knows his language from A to Zed
(The French don't care what they do actually
As long as they do it in bed pronounce it properly.)
- A clean example is used in the musical of The Wedding Singer:
Julia: So you're back where you started,
On your way to success.
So - will you sing at my wedding?
A beat.
Robbie: NOOOOOOOO.
- The subversion still rhymes (of course it rhymes, it's Sondheim) but Sweeney Todd teeters over the edge of profanity in Mrs. Lovett's song "The Worst Pies In London":
Mrs. Lovett: Is that just revolting,
All greasy and gritty?
It looks like it's molting,
And tastes like...
Well, pity
A woman alone...
- In a reversal of this trope's conventional use, "Feelings," from the Bock and Harnick musical The Apple Tree: after Eve sings at some length about how nervous and dreamy she gets around Adam, she concludes with:
Is there a source for this congestion
That I must learn to rise above?
Is there a name for this condition?
Yes, there's a name, and it is hell!
- From a sanitized version of "Beauty School Dropout" in a junior high production of Grease:
Well, they couldn't teach you anything; you think you're such a looker,
But no customer would go to you unless she was a... fool!
- "When the Idle Poor Become the Idle Rich" from Finian's Rainbow:
And when all your neighbors are upper class
You won't know your Joneses from your Astors.
...
When we're in the dough and off of the nut,
You won't know your banker from your butler.
- In the Lippa version of The Wild Party, Burrs sings in "Make Me Happy" (while waving a loaded pistol):
We've got a situation:
Shit or get off the pot!
Whaddaya say? You wanna give her away
Or do you wanna get—
On your knees?
- In The Mikado by Gilbert And Sullivan, Katisha is trying to reveal to the chorus that Nanki-Poo is the son of the Mikado, but she keeps getting interrupted: "No minstrel he, despite bravado! He is the son of—"; "I'll spoil your gay gambado! He is the son of—"; and so on. Fortunately for Nanki-Poo, the chorus is Genre Blind enough that they don't realize that the word that keeps getting cut off must be "Mikado".
- "They Couldn't Compare To You" from Out Of This World:
Mercury: There was Mélisande, A platinum blonde (How I loved to ruffle her locks). There was bright Aurora, Then Pandora, Who let me open her— Chorus Girls (not half a beat too late): They couldn't compare to us!
Theater
- From the play Saturday's Children by Maxwell Anderson:
Florrie: It's vain of its face
It's vain of its figger
It's just fat enough
But it mustn't get - larger
Willy: Rhyme it you dancing fool, rhyme it!
Florrie: Um - it never uses bad words.
- Used in the Reduced Shakespeare Company's "Othello Rap":
Now Othello loved Desi like Adonis loved Venus.
And Desi loved Othello —
'Cuz he had a big sword.
- Even before that, they've already pulled a similar trick:
Their fate pursues them, they can't seem to duck it,
(pause) And then in Act 5, they both kick the bucket.
- Used by Shakespeare himself in Hamlet:
Hamlet: (singing) For thou dost know, O Damon dear,
This realm dismantled was
Of Jove himself; and now reigns here
Horatio: You might have rhymed.
Anime and Manga
- A famous Tokyo Mew Mew fanart piece released just after the Macekre of the English dub does the "cut off" version:
Ichigo: Mew Mew Style, think I'll pass, English dub can kiss my—
Minto: Ichigo!
- The Samurai Pizza Cats closing does this:
Announcer:
So, hail to thee, O Pizza Cat! Please ring your little bell!
Although you may be pen and ink, we know you'll fight like —
The Pizza Cats: (in unison) PIZZA CATS!
- One episode of Pokemon has Team Rocket doing this with their motto.
Jessie: To protect us from all that chafing and itching!
James: It might finally stop all of Jessie's... complaining!
- A commercial for Sailor Moon aired on the Canadian youth programming channel YTV did this:
"And Sailor Venus
which rhymes with....I can't say that on TV!"
Video Games
- In World Of Warcraft the Forsaken have completely subverted a traditional rhyme with,
Roses are grey
Violets are grey
I'm dead
And colorblind.
- In Banjo-Tooie, Jamjars, who teaches you moves, does so in a rhyming style. Sometimes, he ends up rhyming the button names, which, while always rhymed in the original version, often did not rhyme in the Xbox Live Arcade version. You'd have the same problem if you played the original game in the US—Jamjars at one point rhymes the Z button with "red," which works in the UK—where "Z" is pronounced "Zed"—but not the US, where it's pronounced "Zee."
- In Dissidia Final Fantasy, Shantotto always speaks in rhyme during her cutscenes, except on one occasion:
A fairly decent job, even with all the fuss,
I hereby score you a solid B minus.
Web Comics
In Other Works
- The voice sample for the "Boing" synthesized voice in Mac OS X uses a classic example of this:
Spring has sprung
Fall has fell
Winter's here
And it's colder than usual.
- From a birthday card, with the last word on the inside:
Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick.
He sat on your cake and burned his... corduroys.
- Inspired by the classical nursery rhyme:
Mary had a little lamb
and she also had a duck,
she put them on the mantelpiece
to see if they would fall off
- An alliterative example: A number of popular science writers are fond of describing the basic drives of all animals (including humans) as involving the "Four F's: Feeding, Fighting, Fleeing, and Reproducing."
- Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm schizophrenic
So am I!
- Roses are red
Violets are blue
I've got Multiple Personality Disorder
And so do we!
- Roses are red
Violets are blue
I've got Dissociative Identity Disorder
For goodness' sake settle on a bloody name for what we've got already!
- Violets aren't blue
These poems are lazy
Political correctness
Is driving us mad.
- This troper's dad teaches advanced computer classes at a private high school. The big test at the end of the year was the Microsoft Exam, which students took to become Microsoft Certified Professionals. One of his students was named Nate. Dad made up a little rhyme for him.
Nate, Nate, bo-bate
Banana-fanana-mo-mate
All he wants to do is
Master the skills necessary to pass the Microsoft exam.
- This troper read that songs that avert naughty words in this manner are called "teasing songs". Yet another example:
Who knocked the boys dead when she wiggled her
Eyes at the fellows as girls sometimes do
- A version of a nursery rhyme that this troper's father taught him:
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider who sat down beside here
And said "Whatcha got in the bowl, bitch?"
- Here's a limerick this troper read once:
There once was a lady from Brunt
Who stood in water up to her knees
This poem doesn't rhyme yet
But wait 'til the tide comes in
- A non-limerick by Trad (or his brother Anon)
There was a young lady from Bude
Who went for a swim in a pond
A man in a punt
Stuck his pole in the water
And said "you can't swim here, it's private".
- Or how about:
There was a young poet of Mainz
Whose limericks had no last lines.
When asked why this was,
He said "it's because
- In a similar vein:
There was a young man of Arnoux
Whose limericks stopped at line two.
- And taking this train of thought until it hits the buffers:
There was a young man of Verdun,
- Of course, we won't even mention the limerick about Emperor Nero.
- Similar:
There was a man from Rome
Who daily composed a poem
Try as he might
He just couldn't quite
Stop from putting too many words in the last line, it sounded awful.
- Subverted Rhyme, Heavy Meta, and Sophisticated As Hell:
The limerick, peculiar to English
Proved exceedingly hard to extinguish
When Congress in session
Decreed its suppression
People got around it by writing the last line without any rhyme or meter.
- Going with the Florence (second verse)
- The Dragon's Lamentable Love
- This troper heard a couple of these as a camp song as a girl:
Little Miss-Miss, went out to pi—
—ck, some flowers;
She waded in grass, up to her aaa—
—nklebones;
She went to the coop, to take a pooo—
—rr, little chicken out;
Little Miss-Miss, went out to pick, some flowers.
- Then of course, there was the song about the 'Three Jolly Fishermen', and one verse has them,
'All going down to Amster—SHHH!
We must not say that naughty word;
Must not say that naughty word;
They all went down to Amster—SHH!!!'
- Gleefully subverted in the next verse, however:
'We're gonna say it anyway;
Gonna say it anyway;
Amster-Amster—DAMNDAMNDAMN!!
Amster-Amster—DAMNDAMNDAMN!!
They all went down to Amster-DAMN!!!'
- This Russian troper remembers many Russian kids' songs (made by kids, not for kids, of course) of this kind, with a varying grade of obscenity. I'll try to translate one here:
There's a statue on a rock,
And that statue has no—
EYES!!!
That one statue has no COCK!
Lo! The bushes are a-wagging!
What're they doing in there? —
Don't you dare to spoil the merries!
There's a bear searching for berries!
- There are also many rhymes/songs of the following type (I'll just make up some for the sake of giving an example; the originals are too difficult to translate):
I'm a di—
I'm a dignified young troper,
I have fu—
I have fun writing this song.
I like boo—
Yes, my co—
Yes, my comment skill is huge ;)
And my ba-
And my badger ate a pickle.
Then my nu-
Then my nutball grandpa died. (What, you thought it would make sense?).
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