"Watch as Cap and two non-superheroes end up... actually kicking a lot of ass together, in a really entertaining well-directed movie. What? We had to be honest. It's good. But since Honest Trailers is a comedy series, Get Ready. For. Nitpicking."
Aerith and Bob: The Lord of the Rings has, "characters with names so complicated, only a linguist could remember them, like: Gandalf, Frodo, Bilbo, Sauron, Saruman, Aragorn, son of Arathorn, Boromir, Faramir, Éowyn, Arwen, Gimli, son of Glóin, ISILDUR, Morgoth, Galandria, Galas Galathan, Théodred, Gríma Wormtongue, Legolas, son of Thranduil... Sam."
Avatar takes us to a futuristic world of spaceships, mech warriors, and... really crappy wheelchairs?
When doing the casting list in Inception, the cast list ends with Cobb's dreidel.
In Skyfall, their description of Raoul Silva: "An antagonist with a plan so complex, he wants to get caught, but makes it nearly impossible to find him; knows months ahead of time the exact place to plant explosives during a chase he didn't even know was going to happen; and.... makes Bond gay."
Also from Skyfall, "When Bond returns to the high stakes world of espionage, he is faced with: word association [Bond taking his Word Association Test], office politics [Gareth Mallory talks to M], art theory [Bond and Q looking at a painting], Judi Dench frowning; a lot (cue every single close-up shot from the film of M with a frowny face), and absurdly long landscape shots."
The Lord of the Rings trailer features a montage of people saying each other's really complicated names finishing with... Sam.
In X-Men Origins: Wolverine, "watch as Wolverine's centuries of war are glossed over in one montage, to instead make time for things no one wants to see Wolverine do: go on dates [shows shot of Logan caressing Kayla Silverfox], chop wood [Logan cutting a tree down with a chainsaw], get stuck in traffic [Logan and Kayla's truck coming up on two stopped cars, and Logan laying on the horn], and fumbling around in the bathroom."
If you watch Les Miserables, in their words, you will:
Experience over two-and-a-half hours of CGI crane shots And extreme close-ups And the death of Russell Crowe's acting ability.
The Harry Potter trailer: "Relive the excitement of acclaimed British thespians yelling nonsense, battles that would have been way cooler with lightsabers or if they just moved around a little, and Rupert Grint's dumb face."
Artistic License - Biology: The Narrator's rant at the end of the After Earth trailer includes, among other complaints, yelling about the eagle that dies from the nightly cold despite natural selection meaning that should have rendered its species extinct by now.
Narrator: It hasn't figured out how to live in the cold over the last thousand years of being an eagle?!
Artistic License - Physics: In Fast Five, "refuel and ride along while these rebels break every law in the book: of physics, gravity, weight differential, and friction."
Narrator: [Gipsy Danger] comes equipped with: ineffective elbow rockets, painfully slow plasma cannons, and an incredibly powerful sword they forgot they had until about two-thirds of the way through the movie.
Back Handed Compliment: The Spider-Man Trilogy is compared to The Godfather Trilogy... in that the first two are great and the third one sucks.
Breaking the Fourth Wall: In the Divergent trailer, the Narrator stops during the intro and we see him in the recording booth, insisting that they've already done the trailer for this on The Hunger Games. It happens again at the end before "Starring..."
In The Dark Knight Rises video, they announce that it stars the cast of Inception. In the Inception video, they announce that it stars the cast of The Dark Knight Rises. They also call back to their discontent with Rises by introducing Inception with "From the director of two good Batman movies comes a film that will obliterate your eardrums with deafening horn noises." BWOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNGGGG
In their review for Inception they showed the video getting flooded for requests for them to review it. This happens again for both the Harry Potter series and The Matrix. And yet again for Dragonball: Evolution.
The Pacific Rim speech ends up being a callback to the Independence Day one, complete with the best movie extra saluting. Hell yeah!
Celebrity Paradox: When noting that Cap's list in The Winter Soldier claims he watched Star Wars, the Narrator muses that seeing the physical similarity between Nick Fury and Mace Windu probably blew his mind.
Chirping Crickets: This sound effect is used in the Star Trek trailer to underscore how boring the idea of Nero drifting around in space for 25 years instead of just warning his planet of their impending demise is.
Also when Aang is Waterbending... or rather, "doing his greenbelt Karate demonstration."
Cluster F-Bomb: The Screen Junkies supercut video for "Just the F-Words" in The Wolf of Wall Street...is a double-subversion. The supercut shows off perfectly innocuous words that happen to start with the letter 'F', before concluding with one actual F-bomb.
Complexity Addiction: Meet Loki, Thor's brother, who will not stop until he betrays his adoptive father with the help of his real father, in order to kill his real father... to impress his adoptive father? Gee, that makes even less sense than his plan in The Avengers.
Contrived Coincidence: In World War Z, "Watch Brad Pitt survive an un-survivable apocalypse thanks to a constant stream of lifesaving coincidences like: never hitting traffic in the middle of mass hysteria; finding an RV with the keys and a loaded gun inside; this friendly mugger showing him where to find medicine; this friendly Mexican family taking him in, no questions asked; these fast zombies who slow down as soon as they are about to catch him; this small child headshotting a zombie on top of him; this plane dropping a ladder down to save him at takeoff; this Israeli soldier killing a zombie about to eat him; surviving this car crash; surviving this plane crash; surviving a spike through his stomach; and shooting up with a randomly picked virus that happens to be curable while also serving as zombie camouflage."
Cool but Stupid: The Narrator's opinion of Pacific Rim. He dubs it "either The Most Awesome Dumb Movie Ever Made or The Dumbest Awesome Movie Ever Made."
Narrator: Let's be honest, that movie was super dumb. But I still cannot wait for the sequel!
invokedCritical Dissonance: "Experience thegames reviewers said were hard, but never unfair, then realise it's total bullsh*t as you fall victim to: bad camera control, laaaag, and the game's own collision detection. Because when it comes to Dark Souls, bugs are just features that make it more extreme."
Narrator: Meet Mary Jane, the love of Peter's life and the worst girlfriend ever. Grow to hate her snaggle-toothed face as she cheats on her boyfriend with Spider-Man, cheats on her fiance with Peter Parker, and cheats on Peter Parker with his best friend. You'll wonder why anyone bothers to save her over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over again.
Narrator: So if you loved the Christopher Reeve Superman movies, but wished they made them less hopeful, killed countless civilians, visualized our worst fears of urban terrorism and had Superman overcome his first villain by murdering him with his bare hands, DC has made the reboot for you, psycho!
Narrator: Prepare for a movie that was sold as a face off between Walter White and Gozilla... Yet barely contains any Bryan Cranston... And even less Godzilla. Seriously, there's less than 20 minutes of him - we counted. (only 11 minutes, 16 seconds of Godzilla out of a 122 minute movie)
Dirty Old Man: In the HISHE crossover of Star Trek Into Darkness, Spock Prime receives a picture of Uhura in a bikini in exchange for telling the past crew of the Enterprise about future threats.
Disney Death: Noted in The Winter Soldier, with at least four different characters all suddenly turning out to still be alive, in an "awesome twist they run into the ground. [...] Still great, though!"
Narrator: Is every director afraid of telling her to close her mouth?
Early Installment Weirdness: Their trailer for The Phantom Menace is spoken with much more enthusiasm than we'd see later. It also doesn't have the "Starring" part at the end. And expectedly, it doesn't have the "something to say with my awesome voice" bit.
Second ending: "A film that took so much of Peter Jackson's life, he didn't want it to end, prompting five completely separate endings that go on and on forever, making it really hard to hold in your pee."
Third ending: "A film with such fake emotional states, Gandalf will sacrifice himself for his friends, only to somehow come back to life, making it not really a sacrifice. And a story where the protagonists can't win their own battles without convenient ghost armies, living trees, and magical eagles.
Narrator: Ugh, I can't believe we're only halfway through with this Peter Jackson nerdgasm.
In Grand Theft Auto V, the narrator notes a "racially unbiased police force" as one of the more unrealistic aspects of the city... while showing as an example a black guy wandering around with a rocket launcher in hand in front of a cop while said cop does nothing. Apparently, the city has no gun control laws or even weapons ordinances either, and it never occurs to the police to worry about seeing people carrying military-grade weapons around unless they actually start using them.
Freudian Slip: In the Top Gun trailer, the narrator tries to impersonate an easily impressionable consumer of military propaganda after mentioning all the things "you love about present day America", but his attempt doesn't go as smoothly as he'd hoped.
Narrator: Hell yeah! Let's go kiss some dudes! I mean, kiss some ass! I, I mean, buy some planes! Yeah, that's what I meant.
Harry Potter: "If magic is supposed to be secret, why is there a doorway in the most highly-trafficked subway station in London? Why are all the bad boys in one house? Why don't they just expel them? And why isn't it disturbing that this rat on Ron's lap is actually a grown man?"
Gag Censor: During the trailer for Titanic, Rose's breast during the nude scene is censored by James Cameron's face.
Getting Crap Past the Radar: The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time: "Bang you way through a children's game full of sexually ambiguous supporting characters like: this naked old troll man [shows Darunia], this little fish girl with her bluebs out [shows Ruto], this crossdressing princess [shows Sheik], this Butch Lesbian[shows Impa], and whatever the hell these things are supposed to be [shows a Great Fairy]... ughh."
"So traverse the light, and fulfill your destiny... as one of the A-holes who won't shut up about beating the game. Oh, good for you, do it with a Rockband controller, then we'll talk. [Shows actual footage of a player beating the Darklurker with a Rockband guitar controller]Okay, wow."
Hostile Show Takeover: Two thirds of the way through the Transformers: Age of Extinction trailer, the narrator suddenly wonders why the rest of the script is in Chinese... only for a Chinese spokeswoman to hijack his role and narrate the rest of the trailer with English subtitles.
How Is That Even Possible?: The narrator's comment about Batman's cell phone surveillance system in The Dark Knight, which downloads an infinite amount of data that's instantly transmitted wirelessly to Batman's eyes. "Hhmph, how is that possible? It takes me five minutes to download Angry Birds."
The Lord of the Rings has so much manly compassion that you'll think you're watching BrokebackMount Doom.
The narrator's opinion of the friendship in The Matrix between Morpheus and Neo.
The Top Gun trailer mentions how much the movie "cranks up the homosexual undertones, as every other dude in the movie tries to make hot steamy love to each other". Cue several lines and scenes from the film that could be interpreted as such.
Narrator: From Rockstar Games, the company that glorifies bullying... murder... and ping pong comes the game old people claim is turning us into violent sociopaths... WHICH IS NOT TRUE, AND I'll F***ING KILL YOU IF YOU SAY ANY DIFFERENT!!!
In the Five Nights at Freddy's the narrator calls the Jump Scare the least original horror trope that you really shouldn't be afraid of in spite of constantly falling for it.
invokedI Am Not Shazam: "Meet Link, the iconic hero idiots still refer to as Zelda." Ironically, the narrator still credits him as Zelda.
In Name Only: In World War Z, "get ready for the big screen adaptation of the best-selling novel that's got everything you loved about... the title, and [absolutely] nothing else." Later on in the video, a list scrolls by of all the book's awesome moments that were left out of the film.
Just Keep Driving / Seen It All: In Skyfall, the opening action scene is described as being so action-packed, you'll forget to ask yourself, "Why didn't the conductor stop this train when its entire back carriage was ripped off? And why aren't these people scared?"
"Starring...the ten characters whose names you actually remember [Daenerys Targaryen, Jon Snow, Robb Stark, Eddard Stark, Tyrion Lannister, Jaime Lannister, Cersei Lannister, Catelyn Stark, Joffrey Baratheon, Ayra Stark]! And all these other characters whose names you actually don't remember [Jojen and Meera Reed, Yara Greyjoy, Gendry, Giantsbane and Orell]! Like: The Sneaky Guy [Littlefinger]; The Sneaky Bald Guy [Varys]; Carl Drago [Khal Drogo]; Those Gay Dudes [Ser Loras Tyrell and Renly Baratheon]; Lord Friend Zone [Ser Jorah Mormont]; Grumpy Old Dad [Tywin Lannister]; The Same Person? [Stannis Baratheon]; Sand-San-Sansa? [Sansa]; Bronn? [Bran Stark]; Bran? [Bronn]; Bronn Again? [Robin Arryn]; Sam?/Not Sam? [Sam]; The One Who Had A Demon Baby [Melisandre]; The Guy That Got His Dick Cut Off [Theon Greyjoy]; Super Hot [Margaery]; Tyrion's Hooker Girlfriend [Shae]; Hodor! [Hodor]; Uhh... [Xaro Xhoan Daxos]; Uhhhhh... [Commander Jeor Mormont]; Now You're Just Messing With Me [Walder Frey]; No Idea [Ser Davos]; Faceless Assassinnote That Guy's Awesome [Jaqen H'ghar]; Not A Clue [Pycelle]; No [Rodrick]; Uh-uh [Osha]; Nope [Benjen]; Nope [Balon Greyjoy]; Nope [Syrio Forel]; Dunno [Luwin]; I Got Nothin' [Mance Rayder]; Not Ringing A Bell [Beric Dondarrion]; Go Make Up Your Own Names, Nerds! [Barristan Selmy]."
In The Matrix, Monica Belucci is credited as "BEWBS".
Manipulative Editing: They're not always so honest and sometimes will adjust elements of shots. For instance, when they complain that first half hour of The Avengers is surprisingly boring, they use a seeming casual shot of Natasha Romanoff, Steve Rogers, and Bruce Banner on a quiet dock, when in the actual film the audio in the background is of the Helicarrier taking flight
This is particularly bad on Thor: The Dark World. To elaborate: they say that Heimdall can see everything (wich is true). "Except for this spy", "thor's girlfriend" and "this gigantic ship directly above him". While it is true, the spy is, well, a spy. The fact that Jane can't be seen is treated as something extremely suspicious and Thor inmediately sets out to find her. And for the ship, well thats because he was distracted taking down another, equally gigantic, invisible ship. On foot. With a dagger note It is just as awesome as it sounds.
Medium Shift Gag: Superman IV and Top Gun are made to look like they were taped on an old video cassette, and Breaking Bad is formatted in the style of a television preview.
In Man of Steel, the narrator first calls out Henry Cavill for his uninteresting acting, but then sees him shirtless and forgoes his criticisms.
Narrator: My god, what a beefcake.
"I mean, I'm not gay, but I would totally s*** Gale's d***!"
Mystique: "Wait, is she naked? She's totally naked, right? Man, somebody got to paint that on her BEWBS, to make them, you know, BLEWBS... [Beat] I am so lonely."
Refers to both Daenerys/Emilia Clarke and Margaery/Natalie Dormer as "super hot".
Monochrome Casting: The Lord of the Rings "will strive to prove that people of all walks of life can work together, as long as they're all white (Seriously, even when they die, they come back whiter)."
Narrator:[Speaks in a lighthearted tone] Some people play games to relax. Some play for fun. [Switches to his usual epic voice and shows clips from Dark Souls] Others just want a game to f*ck them til' they love it.
Mr. Exposition: In Inception, Arthur is "a sidekick whose only job is to explain the plot."
Mundane Made Awesome: Thanks to the narration. And at the end of the video, viewers can submit comments of quotes they'd like hear the narrator say in his awesome voice. They're often random things, like "poop fiddles".
In X-Men Origins: Wolverine, they criticize how Deadpool, "The merc with a mouth, gets his mouth removed, and trades his cool costume for eight minute abs, and magic eyeshadow. Oh, and he also gets a grab bag of random mutant powers that Deadpool never had."
Narrator: Are we sure Brett Ratner didn't direct this?
In Superman IV, "Stare in wide-eyed disbelief at these new, completely made-up powers like rebuilding the Great Wall of China with his eyes, lowering people with his mind, and helping this woman breathe in outer space."
Nominal Hero / Designated Hero: The protagonists of Fast Five "will stop at nothing to take down a sort-of-ruthless drug lord, by destroying poor neighborhoods, destroying rich neighborhoods, killing twenty-two cops with a giant metal safe, and ultimately leaving Rio in way worse shape than when they found it."
No OSHA Compliance: In the Harry Potter trailer, child endangerment is described as not being any big deal. [cue montage of various characters receiving horrifying injuries from magic spells or other accidents]
Narrator: Seriously, how have they not shut this school down yet?
Non-title example in Thor: The Dark World, where the narrator struggles mightily with Svartalfheim before moving on to the next world's name with apparent relief ("Sfar... Sfur... Sfortul... ASGARD!").
The narrator makes numerous attempts to pronounce Maleficent, before deciding to screw it and just call the movie Sleeping Beauty instead.
Not So Different: From the Frozen trailer, the narrator notes that when disaster strikes, Anna saves the day by joining forces with: her sister, (shows Anna and Elsa), a merchant, (shows Oaken), A hot guy! (shows Kristoff) and a snowman (shows Olaf), to defeat villains like: her sister (shows Elsa having a mental breakdown), a merchant! (shows the Duke of Weselton), a hot guy, (shows Prince Hans) and a snowman! (shows Marshmallow)
Not So Stoic: The narrator usually delivers all his lines in the same epic tone, but when he's talking about the changes done to the Mandarin in Iron Man 3, he's clearly upset.
In the Honest Game Trailer for Mario Kart, the narrator freaks out when he gets hit by a blue shell.
A weapon so incredibly evil that it seeks out the lead driver and - AW COME ON!!! I was right there! This happens every race! Stupid Nintendo! I was like in first the entire freakin' time!
Calling for the death of King Justin Bieber/Joffrey in the Game of Thrones trailer.
Not That There's Anything Wrong with That: In The Lion King trailer, the narrator says these words immediately after mentioning "a child raised by a same sex couple" (flashes pics of Simba being raised by Timon and Pumbaa) as one of the things he's surprised got included in a G-Rated movie.
Narrator: Meet Raleigh Becket, a hotshot pilot struggling to maintain his American accent.
Raleigh: You know, all these years of living in the past... never really thawt about the future.
Oh, the Humanity!: The narrator is forced into this when "evil" Peter Parker goes dancing in the street.
Overt Operative: In Skyfall, "Suit up with 007, the super-secret MI6 agent, who everyone knows by his real name." [cue every instance of a character addressing him as some variant of "James Bond"]
Which might fall a bit flat if you think about it, since every character in question who addresses him by his real name is someone who should know his real name- his coworkers, his bosses, the Rogue Agent villain who hacked MI6 to look at his file, someone Bond introduces himself to, and Bond himself. Also counts as Reality Is Unrealistic as Real Life spies actually do use their real names more often than not, because fake names are some of the easiest lies to expose or slip up on.
Narrator: All to leave more time for... foreshadowing The Avengers, introducing the plot device for... The Avengers, unnecessarily freezing himself so he can be in... The Avengers, and an after-credits scene that is literally a trailer for... The Avengers.
The Grown Ups trailer features almost a minute and a half of the actors' self-indulgent, scripted laughs at the jokes in the movie. It gets old, FAST. Even the announcer gets angry.
Godzilla 2014 trailer: From the company that has the rights to Godzilla, King Kong and Pacfic Rim - so please, please do a crossover where they all fight each other and stuff - comes the best American Godzilla movie ever made, which really isn't saying much... (cue crappy scenes from [[Film/Godzilla1998 the 1998 Godzilla movie]])
From the Twilight: Breaking Dawn trailer: "Brace yourself for two movies so unnecessarily long that they include five Volvo commercials, two montages of the previous Twilight movies, four games of chess, and the MOST. STARES. EVER!"
The trailer for Titanic, "a film so bloated you can honestly just skip the first half hour (Don't worry, there's still, like, three hours left to go)."
In Man of Steel, the description of Krypton includes "way too many subplots".
The trailer for The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey lampshades the three hour run time of the movie in its own way.....the narrator at one point dozes off and yawns when he is suddenly roused from his nodding off at the mike.
Pandering to the Base: Invoked with the trailer for "Transformers: Age of Extinction", the highest-grossing movie in China to date.
Paper-Thin Disguise: In Avatar, "follow along with a team of scientists who blend in with the natives by wearing the Gap khaki collection."
Pungeon Master: The narrator says that in Batman & Robin, Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy team up, "even though their goals are completely incompatible, to make the most puns ever." [Cue montage of Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy making puns]
Narattor: Pick up all three of the best-selling shooters that are all the same, full of rehashed moments like: slow-motion door breaches; the level where you control a giant gun; that part where you look around and wait to die; the unnecessary controversial moment; and, the climatic ending where you're seriously injured and the main bad guy is about to kill you... but then he gets distracted by something which gives you enough time to kill him first.
Shots of characters looking strained from a test of strength will be dubbed: "(Character) pooping."
Any trailer involving an animated movie will have silly dubs of the songs, with the obligatory love song changed to a song about porking.
Sand In My Eyes: At the end of Home Alone, when the old man is reunited with his estranged son, and finally meets his granddaughter.
"This scene always gets to me. (sniffles) I'm not crying! You're crying!"
Scenery Porn: Skyfall is criticized for its absurdly long landscape shots.
Also, The Lord of the Rings is described as an eleven hour New Zealand tourism commercial.
invokedThe Scrappy: Skyler White in Breaking Bad is Walt's annoying wife "who at first you wish would just go away, then later will wish she could just get away, since she's married to a complete sociopath." [shows clips of Walt being hostile to Skyler to demonstrate his point, including his "I am the danger!" scene]
The plot - that Raoul Silva has stolen a harddrive with a list of secret agents, "which the writer stole from the plot of Mission: Impossible."
The finale at the Skyfall estate, "an ending so goofy, they just ripped it off from Home Alone." Cue a montage of the Skyfall booby trap sequence. In the montage, clips from the second Home Alone movie of Harry setting his head on fire are spliced in.
Meet the spirit of human redemption, Jean Valjean A paroled thief now on the run under an assumed identity For reasons never made clear in the entire movie
Who must face off against Inspector Javert An officer with such terrible priorities He'll put the entire city of Paris on lockdown To stop a man who already served his time
Leaving Valjean to now care for Cosette [Fantine's] precocious child who is scared of the dark But is totally cool letting some stranger drag her around the city
Then finally, a two-in-one hit:
Now at the dawn of revolution One young man will give up everything For a woman he's met through a fence Prompting a heartbreaking romance we know nothing about Because the entire subplot is glossed over To make room for countless scenes of Borat
Narrator: The following is rated "S" for spoilers.
Spoof Aesop: Describes Frozen as a movie that "teaches girls everywhere they don't need a prince to rescue them, because all men are disgusting loners [shows Kristoff], greedy murderers [shows The Duke of Weselton], or lying, manipulative, power-hungry sociopaths [shows Prince Hans]".
Stalker with a Crush: The Attack of the Clones trailer calls Anakin a "a rat-tailed ***hole who's been creepily stalking Padme for the last decade". Cue montage of Anakin's love declarations throughout the movie with dissonant horror movie music added in.
Padme: Please don't look at me like that. Anakin: Why not? Padme: It makes me feel uncomfortable. Anakin: (while smirking) Sorry my lady. (stares at her leaving for an uncomfortably long time) Narrator: Eyuugh.
Stock Footage: Superman IV reuses "the same flying shots used over, and over, and over, and over again.
Narrator: "Seriously, these are all the same shot? You couldn't do one more take? That's... that's lazy, you guys."
Strictly Formula: Every Sam RaimiSpider-Man film is narrated with the exact same plotline: "A story about Peter Parker struggling with his powers, breaking up with Mary Jane, and fighting a villain who ultimately kills himself."
Also, in Batman & Robin, "watch Academy Award winning ladies' man George Clooneyphone it in as Batman, a hero capable of performing impossible feats... except for moving his neck. Or body."
Stupid Crooks: In Fast Five, "gear up to steal $100 million with the dumbest criminals ever as they: take off their masks during robberies, go for leisurely strolls while all of Rio's drug gangs are after them, and drag race cop cars they just stole down the middle of the streets."
In Harry Potter, Hogwarts is a place "where technology seems to have been frozen in the nineteenth century, replacing cell phones and the Internet with quill pens and owls."
In Home Alone, "bundle up and relive the early 1990s joy of Micro Machines, starting lineup figures, Johnny Carson, 35 mm cameras, landline phones, answering machines, pre-9/11 air travel, and Macaulay Culkin."
Narrator: At least this is just one of those one-off internet fads that I won't have to play anymor-(cue trailer for Five Night's at Freddy's 2) Oh f***. We're gonna have a million of these, aren't we?
Time Skip: In Skyfall, "when Bond is abruptly killed, it'll only take the length of one Adele song before he anticlimatically pops up in the most secluded corner of the globe. That conveniently has CNN in English."
Also mocks the fact that in The Dark Knight Rises, after Bane takes over Gotham, the movie skips over three months, during which there is only "one riot and zero gridlock. Seriously, where is everybody?"
Les Miserables has "Not since The Dark Knight Rises has a movie been so manipulative with its use of time jumps."
From Transformers: "But in the meantime, there's gratuitous porny shots of Megan Fox, weird racism, and robot fights that erupt around random hot girls Michael Bay was trying to pork."
From The Notebook: "A love that taught an entire generation of women that it's perfectly okay to string along a sweet, handsome, supportive guy, as long as you're able to satisfy your every impulsive desire."
They note that in Breaking Bad, Walter White and Jesse Pinkman battle some of television's greatest villains, all of which happen to be angry Latino men (ay-ay-ay).note This requires ignoring the neo-Nazis in the final season.
Home Alone makes a point of telling you to "Witness years of neglect and abuse take their toll on Kevin McCallister as he shows all the signs of becoming a sociopath, like: manipulation [shows Kate sending Kevin up to the third floor after the pizza incident], talking to himself [shows Kevin talking to himself in the mirror while using deodorant], entrapping two nonviolent criminals [Harry and Marv] inside a sadistic world of torture from which there is no escape[shows scene of Harry's head being set on fire with a blowtorch], but gosh darn that he's just the cutest little thing."
From Transformers: Age of Extinction: "From a franchise known for objectifying hot, young women; prepare for a new low, as they make the movie's hot chick an underage girl, make her boyfriend a legal adult, and literally stop the movie to explain why it's okay for them to pork. [...] If only they put as much effort into justifying the plot as much as they did with having sex with a minor."
Narrator: You'll also join forces with hot chicks like... Tifa... Aeris/th... and Sephiroth, whose beautiful silver hair, slender hips, and deep green eyes will leave you breath- [Shirtless Sephiroth appears] wait, he's a dude!? Aw man! I have his picture up in my bedroom!
Narrator: Watch as all mutant-kind must band together to defeat evil government officials out to prove that mutants are dangerous... which they totally are! [Cue montage of mutants being dangerous with comedic music playing over it, ending with Charles Xavier being brainwashed into snuffing out humans with his mind.]
Narrator: [Khan]'s a ruthless villain so diabolical he'll... not kill Spock [Khan shoots Spock's gun out of his hand], let Kirk express his feelings [Khan does nothing while Kirk punches him repeatedly], and ultimately be completely justified in his actions. [Khan talks about wanting to save his family] ...you've gotta admit, he's got a point.
The "Just Sayin" reporter from Iron Man 3 gets called the Worst Movie Extra Ever. They even hijack the Iron Man 3 Cinema Sins video to point it out again.
The X of Y: "Travel to Westeros, a place where everything is the Thing of Nouns." Hand of the King, Light of the Seven, Brienne of Tarth, Lord of Bones, Lord of Light, Master of Coin, Mother of Dragons, Son of Dolf, Son of Fire, Warrior of Light, Bank of Brothers, Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North...