Colonel Robert Hogan
United States Army Air Forces Colonel Robert E. Hogan is the senior ranking POW officer in the camp and the leader of the group. He was born in Bridgeport, Connecticut, but considers Cleveland, Ohio to be his home. He commanded the 504th Bomb Group before he was shot down while on a raid on Hamburg in an operation masterminded by Luftwaffe Colonel Biedenbender. It is stated by a US Navy officer in a first-season episode that "If you weren't one of their prisoners, you'd be one of ours", due to his less-than-legal methods of accomplishing his goals. General Biedenbender stated that Hogan has a flair for the over-complex, which is often shown in the series. Many of the covert operations shown are highly complex, but due to Hogan's care in planning and the skill of the other characters, they are usually successful.
- Apparently Powerless Puppetmaster: He's a prisoner of war in a Luft Stalag. He's also running all the sabotage and guerrilla activities in the area; it is all but stated that he and half the camp could escape with ease and be back behind friendly lines before the Germans even knew they were missing, but they stay to run resistance and sabotage efforts.*
- Batman Gambit: Hogan's Standard Operating Procedure.
- Betrayal Insurance: Hogan has a tendency to include this in to all his plans. For example, a Gestapo agent blackmailed him for a million dollars in diamonds so Hogan deliberately tips off Klink to part of the deal (obviously not telling him that Hogan is secretly running an escape and sabotage unit right under Klink's nose) so that if the Gestapo agent tries to kill them anyway, Klink will (unknowingly) save their lives, and if the agent sticks to the deal, the Heroes will cover for him and let him get away.
- Bluff the Impostor: Hogan's default mole-digging method.
- The Casanova: Hogan always gets the girl.
- The Cast Show Off: Bob Crane was a highly skilled drummer. In the episode "Look at the Pretty Snowflakes", Colonel Hogan played an impressive drum solo for the song "Cherokee" in an attempt to cause an avalanche.
- Character Tic: Tends to stand around nonchalantly, smirking. He also puts his hands on his men's shoulders a lot.
- The Charmer: Inspires great loyalty among his men, can romance about 90% of the women who give him the time of the day and is even able to get countless German officers to view him as harmless and entertaining.
- Cloudcuckoolander's Minder: Well, he is Carter's superior officer.
- Codename: Colonel Hogan's call sign was originally "Goldilocks", possibly because it was his call sign back when he was a bomber pilot. Gets changed to "Papa Bear" later on.
- Colonel Badass: The man leads a resistance cell which has cost Germany the war several times over, with all the battle plans they've stolen and secret weapons they've sabotaged.
- Complexity Addiction: Colonel Hogan's plans tend to be very complex, sometimes overly so. This gets lampshaded a few times and bites him in the ass once or twice. It's all in the name of keeping the Germans off his tracks. If a group of bombers attack a refinery, that's believable. A group of POWs luring a German bomber and its crew within stealing distance so they can use the plane to bomb a refinery? Not so much. Some of the plans he's come up with have baffled his own side, too. Like the time he called all the way to Newark for a recipe for pizza, or got a radio part to an Underground cell using a chimp as a courier.American Sub Commander: You know, Hogan, if you weren't one of their prisoners, you'd be one of ours.
- Consummate Liar: It's amazing the amount of bullshit Hogan is able to pass off with a straight face.
- Crazy Enough to Work: He actually says this several times in the show. It gets lampshaded at least once, where it seems that Allied Command realized that he was nuts enough to accomplish anything they needed him to do, and he just embraced it.
- Con Artist: Some of his schemes work this way, and they almost invariable rely on charming the Germans into thinking he's cooperating with them.
- Dressing as the Enemy: A lot of his schemes involved doing this.
- A Father to His Men/Papa Wolf: Colonel Hogan's codename is even Papa Bear. He may tease his men on occasion, but he'll go to any lengths to protect them. This extends to pretty much anyone who's helped the Heroes. He disobeys direct orders from Allied HQ in order to rescue Tiger. The loyalty goes both ways - the others proceed to disobey the orders as well once they realize he intends to go it alone if he has to.
- Glad You Thought of It: He does this to Klink at least once an episode.
- Go-Karting with Bowser: As senior POW officer Hogan sometimes gets invited to dinner or to parties with visiting guests, and occasionally Klink agrees to participate in prisoner recreational activities. One scene has Hogan peacefully playing chess with Klink — he throws the game, but takes advantage of the kommandant's distraction to steal his dinner and later convinces him that he was so focused on the game that he forgot he was eating.
- The Good Captain
- Good Running Evil: Hogan is actually the one running Stalag 13; a fact that Klink seems to be aware of, on and off.Hogan: Who's running this camp?Klink: [dejectedly] You are.
- Guile Hero: All his schemes involve manipulating German officers and civilians.
- The Hero
- Impersonating an Officer: Well, Hogan is an American officer but he spends almost as much time in a German uniform as he does an American.
- Indy Ploy: Half the time he's making his plans up as he goes along.
- Loveable Rogue
- Manipulative Bastard: He's got Klink and Schultz wrapped around his finger.
- Nerves of Steel: There's only two times in the entire series where he really loses his cool. Once is where he's been forced to impersonate an double agent and is about to be escorted out of the building by a pair of Gestapo agents, and he knows that outside there's two Underground agents with a rifle tasked to kill the man that he's impersonating. The other time is when he's defusing a live bomb that landed in the middle of the camp. He thought it was a fake that his boys had planted as a distraction.Hogan: That's a live bomb? You mean I've been fooling around with a real live bomb? Let's get outta here!
- No Sense of Personal Space: He invokes this in his dealings with Klink.
- Obfuscating Stupidity: In front of the Germans, he tends to act like a Type 1 Eagleland Cloud Cuckoo Lander (between his unorthodox requests and "innocent" observations).
- Officer and a Gentleman: Says so himself.
- Paper-Thin Disguise: When impersonating German officers, Hogan will often refer to himself as "Hoganmuller", "Hoganmeister", "Hoganheimer", "Hoganburg" or similar always using his surname for part of the German name. At one point he names himself Hogan Hoople.
- Really Gets Around: It would take an entire page to list all of Hogan's one night stands. Suffice to say if there's an unattached female (or on occasion attached) in the episode, Hogan will work his magic. That must be some awesome aftershave he has.
- Refuge in Audacity: About the only reason most of his plans even work half the time.
- Signature Headgear: Rarely seen without his pilot's cap.
- Small Steps Hero: Hogan is unwilling to sacrifice innocent parties but manipulating the villains is just fine with him. He also disobeys orders, despite the very real potential of major consequences, to rescue Tiger.
- Stealth Insult: Hogan is a master of this and Klink is typically the target. To give an example, he managed to convince Klink that the name the men have been calling him "Klink the Fink" is actually a compliment.Hogan: It stands for "Firm, Impartial, Nazi Kommandant".
- This Is Gonna Suck: He knows when the rug is about to be yanked out from under his feet. For example, he knows whenever Crittendon, Hochstetter or Marya show up he's in for a rough ride.
- Xanatos Speed Chess: Hogan's the master of this because no plan he has ever goes quite as planned. It's questionable just how far ahead he plans sometimes, as he managed to come up with a plan to smuggle a man into and out of Stalag 13 in disguise as Hitler in the space of about three seconds.
Corporal Louis LeBeau
Free French Air Force Corporal Louis LeBeau, a master chef and notoriously patriotic Frenchman. He is often seen referring to Nazis and Germans in general as "pigs", and specifically as "Boches" or "dirty Boches" (a derogatory word for Germans used since the Franco-Prussian War). LeBeau is also a master of covert operations, and has taken the precaution of befriending the camp's guard dogs. As a result, he's able to enter their compound through a secret entrance under a doghouse without the dogs raising the alarm.
- Afraid of Blood: He was shot in the shoulder and the rest of the team found him unconscious. It turned out to be a very minor wound and he had simply fainted at the sight of the blood.
- Amazon Chaser: He's in love with Marya and is the only member of the crew that trusts her completely.
- Berserk Button: Do NOT insult France, or loot its museums. He also takes poor cooking personally.
- The Casanova: LeBeau is probably the most romantically inclined member of Hogan's crew.
- The Cast Show Off: Robert Clary can sing pretty well and a few episodes showcased this.
- Delicious Distraction: He uses his cooking to distract or otherwise bribe Schultz.
- Everything Sounds Sexier in French: When he is trying to be romantic he usually starts sprinkling his speech with French words and phrases.
- Fluffy Tamer: Those vicious guard dogs in the camp? Yeah, LeBeau has them eating out of his hand.Dr. Monet: [looking at the dogs] Are they dangerous?LeBeau: Oh, only to the Germans.
- Fool for Love: Loses practically all common sense when Marya is around.
- Foreign Cuss Word: He insults people in French several times through out the show.
- French Cuisine Is Haughty: LeBeau looks down on any type of cooking that isn't French. He insults German food regularly and in a couple of cases, Italian. Hearing what a banana split is made of visibly disturbs him.
- Hetero Sexual Life Partners: With Newkirk.
- Horrible Judge of Character: As far as the rest of the team is concerned, his opinion of Marya.
- Hot-Blooded: Gets angrier faster than anyone else, particularly at displays of stupidity that jeopardize the operation, or insults towards his homeland.
- Idiot Ball: Briefly holds it in "Happy Birthday Dear Hogan". Major Hochstetter is revealing secret plans with the windows wide open with the justification that "the prisoners can't tell anyone". What could possibly be wrong with that?
- In-Series Nickname: Schultz and Klink (but mainly Klink) refer to LeBeau as "Cockroach."
- Last-Name Basis: An exception to the rule in this show as he is one of the few characters referred to by his first name on a semi-regular basis.
- The Napoleon: Averted, as he's not that sensitive about his height.
- Phony Psychic: Hogan once convinced Klink that LeBeau was psychic.
- Stealth Expert: His main role in the group besides cook.
- Supreme Chef: In all but one case. There was apparently a Noodle Incident involving chow mein (cooked with sauerkraut) and the boys convincing Klink that LeBeau was part Chinese. All we know is it really didn't end well.Hogan: LeBeau, I'm holding you in reserve, to make chow mein. If Carter's bombs don't work, we may have to poison that bridge!
- Team Chef
Corporal Peter Newkirk
Royal Air Force Corporal Peter Newkirk is the group's conman, magician, pick-pocket, card sharp, forger, bookie, tailor, lock picker, safe cracker and impersonator of German officers (and on one occasion, Winston Churchill). On numerous occasions Newkirk also impersonates women to fool the Germans and help the underground movement. He also is in charge of making uniforms and assisting in distracting the Germans to perform other sabotage.
- Brits Love Tea: Newkirk is often seen drinking tea while the others are using a radio to contact the submarine which is transferring their message to England.
- The Casanova / Casanova Wannabe: Claims to be a ladies man and sometimes gets lucky... but usually the women he gets lucky with are Gestapo plants. On the other hand, his little black book has "one hundred and twenty-seven well-built English girls."
- Card Sharp: He tends to win at cards, especially when they're playing with Schultz, who it pays off to keep in the prisoners debt.
- Con Artist: One both before and after the war.
- Consummate Liar
- Deadpan Snarker: Probably the most sarcastic member of Hogan's band. And that's saying a lot.
- Disguised in Drag: Usually as a little old lady.
- Do-Anything Soldier: Newkirk has quite a diverse skill set. Almost all of it is illegal.
- Dressing as the Enemy: He's one of the go-to guys when it comes to portraying German soldiers and officers.
- The Fixer: He's the one who makes the fake uniforms and clothing that the boys use for their schemes. He is also the one usually sent to fetch supplies in town and he helps forge documents.
- Five-Finger Discount: He pickpockets a lot of Germans throughout the series. In fact, one of their tests on a new prisoner to check if he's a mole is for Newkirk to bump into him and rifle his pockets to make sure he's not carrying anything suspicious.
- Fool for Love: Falls quite often, usually for the wrong woman.
- Harmless Lady Disguise: When he's in drag he is usually pretending to be an old, harmless lady. He's fairly good at pulling it off too.
- Hetero Sexual Life Partners: With LeBeau.
- Hidden Heart of Gold: Despite his criminal skills and snarky attitude, he definitely has this. Notable instances include going back for Gretel instead of escaping to England because he was worried about the Gestapo coming after her, refusing to go through with the Berlin Betty broadcast because he was afraid to get Betty in trouble, and setting General Barton straight after the latter insulted Hogan.
- Horrible Judge of Character: When it comes to women... He comes dangerously close to messing up the operations at least twice. He gets better.
- I Am One of Those, Too: Newkirk once attempted to pass himself off as an expert forger. The head of the forgery operation asks him if he's familiar with a certain forger and certain machine and Newkirk claims to know both intimately. Of course, one's a scientist and the other's a pianist.
- Impossible Thief: In "The Late Inspector General", Newkirk is able to steal the Inspector General's monocle and wallet, then frame Klink by putting the monocle into Klink's clenched fist and wallet into Klink's inside pocket. The thefts occur offscreen, but while everyone is otherwise fully aware.
- Loveable Rogue: He was a criminal before the war, but is a committed anti-Nazi, and an asset to the team.
- He's a pickpocket and card-cheater. Good thing he only uses his skills on the Nazis.
- He's also apparently a master at bluffing, regularly beating the other guys at poker and gin. The only one he can't constantly beat is Carter.
- Kleptomaniac Hero: Especially when the Germans are his targets.
- Master of Unlocking: He can get into any room he wants to.
- Mildly Military: Corporal Newkirk gets away with calling Sergeant Carter an idiot quite often.
- Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: In addition to his lady troubles his attempt to get something nice for Hogan on his birthday almost gets the crew all shot by Hochstetter.
- Safecracking: One of his many talents.
- The So-Called Coward: Claims to be a coward but puts himself in a lot of dangerous situations.
- Stage Magician
- Vitriolic Best Buds: With Carter.
Staff Sergeant James "Kinch" Kinchloe
United States Army Air Corps Staff Sergeant James (a.k.a. Ivan) "Kinch" Kinchloe is primarily responsible for radio, telegraph, and other forms of electronic communications. In the series pilot, Kinchloe is introduced as Hogan's chief of staff, and, in addition to his communications expertise, is seen speaking fluent French to Corporal LeBeau. Kinch is from Detroit and has worked for the telephone company. In one episode, he mentions that before the war he fought in the Golden Gloves.
- The Big Guy: He's a former boxer and is taller than most of the rest of the heroes. He's also a very pleasant man.
- Black and Nerdy: He's the camp's radio and electronics genius.
- The Boxing Episode: Kinch was a semi-professional boxer back state-side so naturally he's the one that goes up against the German champ.
- Character Tic: He has a tendency to raise his eyebrows a lot.
- A Day in the Limelight: Kinch was often involved in plots requiring technical/radio work, but since the color of his skin would be a bit noticeable when trying to impersonate a German official, he didn't get as many "dress up" plots as the rest of the cast. One exception involved him capturing and impersonating an African royal trying to ally himself with the Axis forces, complete with a Girl of the Week.
- Deadpan Snarker: Quite possibly his best moment is when Hogan is looking for one of the Heroes to impersonate a German.Hogan: Alright, I need another German.Kinch: Oh, how about me, sir?Hogan: [Beat] Don't be funny.
Kinch: Darn, I thought I was going to get that job...
- His second-best has to be when Schultz tells them that there's a new second-in-command.
- Gadgeteer Genius: Kinch handles the electronics while Carter handles the explosives.
- Genius Bruiser: He's a radioman, has at least some skill as a bomber navigator, and speaks fluent French and German in addition to English. He's also from Detroit and a capable boxer, having fought in the Golden Gloves. He's usually the first of the Heroes to figure out what Hogan's plan is.
- Good News, Bad News: This could actually be his catchphrase from how often he says it.
- Impersonating an Officer: General Kinchmeyer. Unlike the others though, he only does his impersonations over the phone.
- In-Series Nickname: Kinch.
- Manipulative Bastard: Not as good as Hogan, but he has shades of this. "Is General Hammerschlag Burning" has him effectively take control of the mission, leaving Hogan speechless. note
- Nerves of Steel: He is the group's unofficial second in command because of his clearheadedness and his calmness under fire and in very stressful situations, and because of this, he is more respected by the other non-coms than is the technically higher ranked Sergeant Carter.
- Number Two: Hogan's official second-in-command,note even though Carter outranks him.
- The Operators Must Be Crazy: He's in charge of the camp switchboard and he makes sure calls Hogan doesn't want to get through do not get through.
- Throwing the Fight: At the end of The Boxing Episode he beats his competitor senseless and then throws the fight to avoid reprisals being directed against the gang from the German officers present.
- What Happened to the Mouse?: Kinch is replaced by Baker in the last season without any acknowledgment or explanation. Since Klink's record of no successful escapes is still mentioned during that season, the character must have either actually died, or his death (or transfer to another camp) faked as he was 'discharged' and allowed to go home through the escape tunnel. Considering he gets a letter (it's treated as a throwaway joke) about his final draft classification being 4-F (limited service only), it may have been the latter.
Technical Sergeant Andrew Carter
United States Army Air Corps Technical Sergeant Andrew J. Carter, aka Little Deer Who Runs Swift And Sure Through Forest, (fun fact, he was a lieutenant in the pilot episode) is in charge of ordnance and bomb-making. He also shows talent in chemistry and can produce formulas and chemical devices as needed. Carter is also often called upon to impersonate German officers and, most convincingly, Adolf Hitler. While bright and enthusiastic at his specialties, Carter often shows a lack of common sense otherwise. For example, after the blowing up of a train Carter could not remember the way back to Stalag 13.
- Adolf Hitlarious: When he's pretending to be Hitler odds are you will be laughing very hard.
- Ascended Extra: In the pilot he was just a prisoner from another camp passing through on his way back to England.
- Badass Adorable:
Carter: It's like sending your child off to war without you.
- Carter is usually innocent, oblivious and naive. He's also an expert and complete fanatic about his bombs and has probably directly killed more people than anyone else in the group. He was heartbroken at hearing he couldn't be around when one of his bombs went off.
- After Hogan, Carter is the second-highest in rank out of the Five-Man Band.
- Beware the Nice Ones: He's the nicest, most easy-going guy in the group. He's also the guy who provides the explosives and convincingly passes for Adolf Hitler.
- Born Lucky: He's the only one on-screen able to beat Newkirk at gin.
- Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Goofy, absent-minded, prone to trip on his own feet and something of a Butt-Monkey among the team. He's also their best demolition man and has the ability to become someone else entirely when in disguise. It's like his IQ jumps fifty points when he puts on a German uniform.
- Butt-Monkey: The clumsiest, and unluckiest of the Allied characters.
- Cassandra Truth: Once tried to get caught with a microfilm filled with fake information. Every German he talked to thought he was a Gestapo Agent trying to test their loyalty.
- Captain Obvious: When he is not acting like a Cloud Cuckoo Lander or disguised as a German officer he is usually this.
- Chaste Hero: Carter is almost oblivious to the fact there is an opposite sex.
- Depending on the Writer: His attitude towards women actually changes very often. While he never reaches the Casanova levels of Hogan, Newkirk, and LeBeau he does show some interest in women occasionally (notably in "Look at the Pretty Snowflakes"). Also notably, one episode in season 6 has him remarking that he never would have thought of girls as an effective distraction, while in the season 1 episode "The Gold Rush", he assumes that Schultz is late coming back to camp because he met a pretty girl in Hammelburg.
- Cloud Cuckoo Lander
- Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Let's put it this way: His (accidental) infiltration of the German army ends with him successfully stealing a tank.
- He also is typically the man to do the talking (if Hogan isn't present) whenever they impersonate Germans, partly because he looks more German than the rest of the Heroes and partly because he is an absolute master at impersonation.
- Further, whenever there's something that needs exploding, it's Carter they turn to. Not only are his bombs effective, but they're also (mostly) precise, and he seems to pay attention to their appearance as well.
- "Dear John" Letter: Only character in the show to get one. In "The Kommandant Dies at Dawn" he even mentions having made a carrying case for them. Though given how he acts most of the time many people wonder how he got a girlfriend in the first place.
- Demolitions Expert: His main role in the group.
- Dressing as the Enemy: Despite what you would expect, he is very, very good at it.
- Dude, Where's My Respect?: He's the highest ranking soldier after Colonel Hogan. He's also the Butt-Monkey of the group.
- Easily Forgiven: No one can ever stay mad at him for messing up on a mission for more than a few seconds.
- Fake Defector: Has to play this role several times.
- Flanderization: Gets increasingly more naive as the show goes on.
- Gadgeteer Genius: Of the explosive variety.
- Genius Ditz: Carter is enthusiastic but generally oblivious and he tends to get teased for his cluelessness...until they need something blown up or Hitler impersonated.
- His intelligence seems to be dependent on what uniform he's wearing. In an American uniform, he's just about clueless about most things, but a genius at bomb creation. Put him in a German uniform and he's suddenly brilliant.
- Impersonating an Officer
- Last-Name Basis: Another example that is the exception to the rule in this show, other characters are just about as likely to call him Andrew as they are Carter.
- Lethal Chef: Klink tasted his cooking, immediately looked sick and ordered Schultz to take it away...and bury it.
- Lethally Stupid: Sometimes crosses into this territory. For example, in "Kommandant of the Year" the crew is trying to figure out what the Germans just parked in the camp and what to do about it, prompting this exchange:Hogan: They know it's safe. The Allies won't bomb a prisoner of war camp.Carter: Hey, gang. What about we find out what it is, and if it's important enough we get London to bomb the camp? That'd be great!Hogan: Carter? [takes him aside and opens the door] Out.Carter: Schultz says I might get shot!Hogan: That's right.[Hogan leaves and Carter starts to head outside before being pulled away]
- Mad Bomber/Mad Scientist: He really likes his explosives, to the point of being depressed that he had to send several of his handmade bombs to be dropped on a Nazi facility without getting to go along and watch, comparing it to sending a child off into the world.
- Master of Disguise: In-universe, he is the only character who can wear a German uniform in front of Klink and Hochstetter and not be recognized.
- Mean Character, Nice Actor: In-universe, Carter's scarily good at impersonating angry German officers of various calibers and Adolf Hitler, despite his puppy-esque normal demeanor.
- Serious Business: His explosives. He got very offended when Newkirk implied one of his bombs hadn't performed to expectations. That said, most of his bombs seem to take the cartoon-like shape of a bundle of dynamite sticks with an alarm clock on it.
- Slasher Smile: When he pretends to be a chemical warfare specialist he gives off a real nasty one.
- Suddenly Ethnicity: Carter gets a letter addressed to "Little Running Deer Who Goes Swift And Sure Through Forest", forcing him to admit he was part Sioux. Newkirk and LeBeau proceed to tease him mercilessly about it, in ways that wouldn't be quite so funny today.
- Verbal Tic: Especially in later seasons, Carter has a habit of calling everyone else "boy". Since he frequently gets orders from Hogan, it results in many instances of Carter replying, "You got it, boy. Uh, Colonel."
- Vitriolic Best Buds: With Newkirk.
Sergeant Richard Baker
Following Dixon's departure from the show after season five, the producers replaced his character in the sixth season with United States Army Air Corps Sergeant Richard Baker. The tasks assigned to Sergeant Baker are almost identical to those of Staff Sergeant Kinchloe, including limited impersonation of some German voices.
- Ascended Extra: His actor had appeared in previous seasons as an extra before becoming a main cast member.
- Implied Death Threat: One episode has a pair of German rocket scientists confused when its announced that the rocket will be sent to London. Baker clears his throat and casually brings a rifle into view, causing them to quickly change their tune.
- Remember the New Guy?: Never really interacts with the core cast until the end of the show.
Sergeant Vladimir Minsk
Vladimir Minsk was a character only seen in the pilot episode. A Sergeant in the Soviet Air Force before being captured, Vladimir came from a long line of Russian tailors, and used his skills to make uniforms for the men. Newkirk and LeBeau took over his duties in the regular series. He was also bad at sports.
- Dropped After the Pilot: Vladimir's actor decided the show wasn't taking the Nazis seriously enough and quit, and Carter became the fifth main character for the series proper.
- We Hardly Knew Ye: He never appeared in the show proper.
- Body Double: Serves as one for Hogan in one episode, lying face down, supposedly passed out on a bed, to give him an alibi for a sabotage mission.
- Deadpan Snarker: He has some wit to him.
- Sixth Ranger: He has prominent roles in four episodes (two in the first season, one in the second, and one in the fourth) but is never a main character and goes unmentioned for long periods of time.
Addison and Broughton
- Recurring Extra: Never credited once in the show despite appearing in around 3/4th of the episodes and occasionally having brief lines of dialogue.
- Sixth Ranger: Occasionally take minor roles in the heroes schemes, such as both of them being among those who are part of the fake escape attempt in "The Pizza Parlor", serving as lookouts in "Tanks for the Memory", Addison impersonating a guard in one episode, and Broughton being one of Kinchloe's corner men during the boxing match in "The Softer They Fall".
- Those Two Guys: Often appear together.
- Token Minority: Broughton is one of the few (if not the only) African-American POW's besides Kinch and Baker.
Colonel Wilhelm Klink
Kommandant Oberst (German for Colonel) Wilhelm Klink is an old-line Luftwaffe officer of aristocratic (Junker) Prussian descent and a blatant social climber. He was born in Leipzig in the early 1890s, though he refers to Düsseldorf, where he attended the Gymnasium (high school) (graduating 43rd in his class), as his home town. After failing the entrance exams to study law or medicine, he received an appointment from Kaiser Wilhelm II to a military academy, through the influence of his uncle, the Bürgermeister's barber, and graduated 95th in his class.
Attempts to run the camp as sternly as possible, but is a major pushover and rather incompetent, making it pretty easy for Hogan to trick him into unwittingly assisting his plans.
- All Germans Are Nazis: Averted; while he does kiss up to whichever visiting officer arrives at the Stalag and does think highly of German superiority, Klink only begrudgingly supports Hitler and has a distaste for diehards like Hochstetter and the SS.
- Bad Liar: When it's time to lie his smile is constantly wavering, and he tends to fall into a lot of I Never Said It Was Poison statements.
- Better the Devil You Know: Hogan's crew works hard to keep Klink in charge of Stalag 13 because if he got shipped off to the Russian front or court-martialed, odds are somebody competent would take over. Once or twice he's actually up for promotion and the Heroes have to foul it up to keep him at the camp. He, in his turn, feels the same way about them.
- Born Unlucky: Klemperer actually had a clause added to his contract that Klink must always lose. As such, he is the opposite of Crittendon in this regard. While Crittendon will always come out OK no matter how badly he fouls things up, Klink will usually lose no matter how hard he tries or how good the plan was. Hogan weaponizes it when faced with a Wire Dilemma while defusing a live bomb that's landed in the camp, cutting the one that Klink doesn't pick.Hogan: I wasn't sure which was the right one. But I was sure you'd pick the wrong one!
- Boss's Unfavorite Employee: General Burkhalter is generally professional toward his aides or officials aiding him in special projects and, while not beloved by the commandants of the other two camps under his authority (whose jobs seem to have a High Turnover Rate), doesn't seem to hate them unless they are actively working against him. However, the bumbling Klink receives little from Burkhalter besides threats and insults.Klink Exactly as I would have done it.Burkhalter: Really? We'll go ahead with it anyway.Later in the same conversation, Burkhalter gives Klink a list of Germany's finest military minds, who will be attending a party.Klink: It doesn't have the name "Colonel Klink" in there. Probably an oversight at headquarters.Burkhalter: I consider it the perfect oversight.
- Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Sort of. Everyone in the German military (and it seems like most of the Allies) know that he's completely incompetent, except for his mysterious ability to keep Stalag 13 escape-free, which is all that keeps him from being sent to the eastern front. It's lampshaded a couple times. The trope is downplayed in that the Heroes work very hard to keep him from being shipped off to Stalingrad and replaced by someone more competent.Burkhalter: [to someone who just asked how Klink could have done it] Don't look at me, I don't understand it either.
- Butt-Monkey: His main purpose in the show is to have abuse heaped upon him for your viewing pleasure.
- The Cast Show Off: Played with. Werner Klemperer was an accomplished violinist; Colonel Klink, not so much.
- Casanova Wannabe: Klink thinks he's a ladies man. He does do surprisingly well at picking up women, although with most of the men off at war, they may just be hard up for other options. It's just that he can't keep them because Burkhalter or Hogan usually moves in on them, and most of the women he meets are Underground couriers or agents.
- Character Catchphrase: No one ever escapes Stalag 13!
- Character Tic: When frustrated, he has a habit of swinging his clenched fist and letting out a loud mutter.
- Commissar Cap: Wears a nice officer's cap when outside his office.
- Contractual Genre Blindness: There was actually a term in Klemperer's contract guaranteeing that Klink never won (Klemperer, a native-born German, was no fan of the Third Reich). The only time Klink "won" against Hogan is when the latter accidentally hooks him up with a beautiful widowed baroness.note
- Chronically Crashed Car: His staff car gets wrecked several times throughout the show.
- Cool Helmet: Has a Pickelhaube on his desk that Hogan usually plays with when in the office.
- Digging Yourself Deeper: No matter what the situation, Klink will make it worse for himself.
- Dreadful Musician: He's terrible with the violin.
- Enemy Mine: He has become a willing, and in some cases not so willing, participant in Hogan's schemes.
- Even Evil Has Standards: He likes to think he's a tyrant, but the attitudes of the more sadistic Nazi officers have oftentimes revolted him. Better the Devil You Know indeed.
- Fat and Skinny: The skinny to Schultz's fat.
- A Father to His Men: Klink is definitely no fatherly CO, but thinks he is one due to Hogan's manipulations. He takes great pride in it.
- Flanderization: Gets more and more incompetent as the show goes on.
- Friendly Enemy: He thinks he's a tyrant. He's not even close (also see Even Evil Has Standards above).
- General Failure: Werner Klemperer consented to play Klink only on the condition that Hogan and company would always win the day and that Klink was portrayed as a complete idiot rather than a competent officer who's simply outplayed by the heroes.
- Glad I Thought of It: Klink does this all the time, and naturally Hogan regularly takes advantage of it to manipulate him, often complimenting Klink on the brilliance of his plan.
- High-Class Glass: Klink, an officer of old aristocratic Prussian Junker descent and a Luftwaffe officer, prominently wears a monocle.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: Several of his schemes to rein Hogan in or to advance his career have blown up in his face. A prime example occurs in "Colonel Klink's Secret Weapon" when, after receiving a poor rating from the Inspector General, he brings in a stern new sergeant to discipline the prisoners. Unfortunately, the sergeant starts disciplining him and makes Klink look bad to advance his own career. He also knows all the regulations and has the family connections to get away with everything. Klink ends up begging Hogan for help in getting rid of him.
- Impoverished Patrician: Implied to be this trope. It is mentioned that he comes from an old Prussian family and it is also stated that he has money troubles. Of course, his family also explicitly dumped him on the military so they wouldn't have to deal with him.
- Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain: You'll probably end up feeling sorry for him more often than not.
- Miles Gloriosus: Klink talks big but his incompetence and cowardice means he can rarely back it up, a trait Hogan likes to exploit as part of his schemes.
- Never My Fault: He usually tries to blame Schultz for his own screw-ups.
- No Guy Wants to Be Chased: More like "No Guy Wants to Marry General Burkhalter's Sister".
- Not-So-Harmless Villain: Sometimes Klink is competent, or at least has the air of competence. One genuine example is in "Will the Real Adolf Please Stand Up?" where he's unfazed by Hogan's ploy, calls it out as a pack of lies, and tightens security further. Both Hogan and Schultz are caught off-guard. Another is in "A Man's Best Friend Is Not his Dog," where he and Schultz manage to keep Hogan on his toes for the majority of the episode.
- Obfuscating Stupidity: It's implied a couple of times that Klink is actually smarter than he looks and acts, and is willingly turning a blind eye to Hogan's antics (since A: he knows Hogan's plot will help end the war sooner, and B: it allows him to deliver a subtle Take That! at his Nazi superiors). In one episode, Burkhalter brings radio detection equipment into the camp to locate a suspected resistance radio. As soon as he gets a chance, Klink pulls Schultz aside and tells him to run to Hogan's barracks and turn off that radio.
- Old Soldier: Klink is a career soldier. He served in the First World War, first in the Imperial German Army, and later in the newly formed Luftwaffe, where—despite a lifelong fear of flying—he somehow managed to become a qualified bomber pilot. He also stayed in the military in the two decades between the wars.
- Ooh, Me Accent's Slipping: At one time he had to pose as an American officer. It was definitely a memorable scene.
- Parrot Exposition: He's quite fond of this.
- Pity the Kidnapper: Well, more like Pity the Jailer, but it's basically the same thing.
- Pointy-Haired Boss
- Pride: Klink's vanity often made him an easy mark for Hogan, who continually massaged Klink's massive ego to manipulate his decisions in ways which would benefit the prisoners and the Allies.
- Punch-Clock Villain: He never sounds enthusiastic about saying "Heil Hitler", hinting that he's not really loyal to the dictator (indeed, one episode had him confess to hating the Nazis) and is only trying to survive the war with minimal risk.
- Punny Name:
Hogan: Outside of Stalag 13, "Klink" means two glasses have just been knocked together!
- His name is a pun on "clink," a slang word for a prison. Lampshaded by Hogan once:
- And "Wilhelm" is probably a reference to the Wilhelm Scream.
- Rewarded as a Traitor Deserves: In one episode, Burkhalter catches Klink and two other kommandants plotting to discredit him so one of them can take his job. Klink (who, in all fairness, was pretty half-hearted about the whole plan) is quick to accept Burkhalter's offer to incriminate the others in exchange for more lenient treatment. To his dismay, Burkhalter's idea of leniency is sentencing all three men to death and having Klink shot last. Fortunately, Hogan has Klink Framed for Heroism, getting him pardoned, and helps the other two officers defect.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here: In "The Assassin", Hogan tries to goad Klink into thinking that the Gestapo are trying to assassinate him and asking what Klink plans to do about it. Klink dramatically orders Helga to call Berlin, and then puts in an application for leave so that he can flee the camp.
- Self-Deprecating Humor: The Running Gag of Klink's screechy violin playing paralleled the fact that in real life, Klemperer was actually quite a talented violinist and concert pianist. When Werner's father, conductor Otto Klemperer, first saw the show, he quipped "Your work is good... but who is the author of this material?"
- Small Name, Big Ego: He considers himself a brilliant officer whose contribution to the war effort is invaluable, when he's really just the glorified keeper of a jail.
- Soldiers at the Rear: Klink and most of his men are elderly, in poor shape or otherwise unsuited for combat and quake at the idea of actually seeing it.
- Staff of Authority: He typically has a riding crop tucked under his arm.
- Sycophantic Servant: He does this to pretty much every officer that walks in the door, General Burkhalter especially. They all tend to find it annoying.
- Throw the Dog a Bone: Usually, Klink is lucky if he just manages to keep his job and escape a date with the firing squad after one of Hogan's little escapades. But there is one time that Hogan accidentally hooks him up with a beautiful widowed baroness.
- Ultimate Job Security: If it wasn't for the direct intervention of Hogan and his men on many occasions, Colonel Klink would probably be at the Russian Front. Apparently, he's not a bad administrator, but he has no real control over his camp (which is exactly why the heroes work to give him the ultimate job security in the first place).
- Unwitting Pawn: Hogan plays him like a fiddle regularly.
- Yank the Dog's Chain: Quite often.
Hogan: Now it's your turn for a good cry, sir.
- "Guess who Came to Dinner" stands out, as he meets a prominent big wig who actually doesn't find him annoying and offers him a job in Palm Springs (which he expects to be conquered by Germany along with the rest of America) after the war, only for the guy to end up blown up as part of Hogan's scheme.
- In "Kommandant of the Year", "The Softer They Fall", and "Hot Money" there are also visiting German officers involved with important projects who show Klink sincere cordiality or trust, but all three of those projects are sabotaged by Hogan, keeping Klink from attaching himself to their success in any way. "Kommandant of the Year" also has Klink being awarded a (fake) award for his services as commandant, only to loose that award in the chaos of the heroes sabotage mission on top of everything else.
- In "Klink's Old Flame", a high-ranking official actually does recommend Klink for promotion to general (albeit for selfish reasons). General Burkhalter shows Klink that recommendation but ends up tearing it up in front of him after walking in on Klink in a compromising situation, and perhaps out of personal pettiness.
- In "The Last Inspector General", Klink nearly gets promoted to running all of the prison camps in Germany after Hogan does do good a job of making him look good for the inspector general (which would have made Klink Burkhalter's superior) to keep him from being demoted. Naturally, Hogan is then forced to make Klink look bad in order to ruin that new promotion, which makes the general so mad that Klink nearly gets relieved of command.
- In "Go Light on the Heavy Water" he thinks he's stumbled onto water from the Fountain of Youth only to find out that it's actually heavy water for chemical research, and that while he won't die from drinking it he is in some hot water with the convoy commander.
- In "Is General Hammerschlag Burning?" he thinks he's won a luxurious trip to Paris only for it to be a scam rigged by Hogan, while Klink has a miserable time there.
- Once, Hogan tricks Klink into thinking that Hitler is retiring and Klink will be his successor. He gets a rude awakening when Himmler calls the stalag.
- In "The Defector", Klink's nemesis Major Hochstetter seems to be facing execution for a Role-Ending Misdemeanor (seemingly accidentally causing the death of a high profile fugitive) and Klink gleefully rubs it in. Then it turns out that Himmler is happy with Hochstetter, believing that Make It Look Like an Accident is at play. Hochstetter is praised rather than executed, and makes it very clear that he hasn't forgotten how quick Klink was to mock him.
- Yes-Man: Klink majored in brown nosing, but usually it only serves to dig him deeper into the mess.
- 0% Approval Rating: If "The Kommandant Dies At Dawn" is any indication, his own men don't seem to like him any more than his prisoners do. His boss doesn't, either.
Sergeant Hans Schultz
Hauptfeldwebel (Sergeant First Class) Hans Georg Schultz, serial number 23781, is Klink's bumbling, highly unmilitary 300-pound Sergeant of the Guard. Schultz is a basically good-hearted man who, when confronted by evidence of the prisoners' covert activities, will simply look the other way, repeating "I hear NUSSINK, I see NUSSINK, I know NUSSINK!" (or, more commonly as the series went on, simply "I see NUSSINK–NUSSINK!") to avoid being blamed for allowing things to have gotten as far as they already had, and possibly given a one-way trip to the Eastern Front.
- All Germans Are Nazis: Subverted; he admits privately to Klink that he despises the Nazi movement note , and was a member of the German Social Democratic Party before the war. Truth in Television since in real life, the Social Democratic Party note was banned in 1933, note when Hitler and the National German Socialist Workers' Party, commonly known as "Nazis" note , seized power from the old Weimar Republic.
- Awful Wedded Life: He and his wife tend to bicker at times, and he once half-seriously says that he'd rather be transferred to the Russian Front than to somewhere which would let hm go home to see her more.
- Big Eater: Especially with Food as Bribe (see below).
- Brilliant, but Lazy:
- When he actually puts his mind to something, the results can be rather impressive. In one episode the heroes contrive to put Schultz in charge of the camp, but he proves so frighteningly competent at the job Hogan works to return everything to the status quo. It's heavily implied that he could easily figure out what Hogan's crew was up to at the camp, he just really, really doesn't want to. Mostly because if he did, he'd be held responsible for letting it happen. This depends on the episode, though; in the pilot and first season especially, he knew almost everything they were doing and often actively assisted them.
- Between wars he built a hugely successful toy company. He is a bad soldier (probably due to the fact he’s only serving in the military because he was conscripted), but an effective businessman and manager.
- Bumbling Sidekick: Though he's probably actually not as bumbling as Col. Klink. Klink is at least trying to be a competent German soldier, whereas Schultz often stays deliberately oblivious to what Hogan's crew is up to, when he isn't actively participating in their schemes.
- Cannot Keep a Secret: Played with. He can't keep German military secrets from Hogan and the boys. However, he's very good at keeping what really goes on at the camp away from Klink and other superior officers.
- Character Catchphrase:
- "I know NUSSINK! NUSSINK!"
- "Ja wohl, Herr Kommandant / mein Herr" when Klink gives him an order.
- "Please, Colonel Hogan, it will be worth my life" whenever he discovers one of Hogan's plans is so far along that, if discovered, Schultz would be executed for incompetence.
- "Jolly joker" when one of the heroes makes a wisecrack.
- Cowardly Sidekick: To Klink, although Klink isn't exactly a lion himself.
- The Creon: While Sergeant Schultz isn't the second-in-command of the camp, being the senior noncom makes him Colonel Klink's main aide, and a few episodes mention that he could potentially take over the camp one day. This horrifies and exasperates Schultz, due to his laziness and his realization that whoever is Kommandant of the camp will constantly be manipulated, humiliated, and exposed to great danger because of Colonel Hogan's machinations. Of course, the one time a reluctant Schultz is forced into temporary command, he still gets Drunk with Power.
- Deadpan Snarker: Usually towards Klink (if Hogan is around).
- Drunk with Power: This is what usually happens when the prisoners have let Schultz think he's boss for various reasons. They have found it difficult to 're-tame' him.
- Enemy Mine: It is difficult to remember some times, but he is not really a part of Hogan's crew and is supposed to be their jailer.
- Fat and Skinny: The fat to Klink's skinny.
- Fat Best Friend: Tends to be this to Hogan's crew.
- Friendly Enemy: Well, he's a German soldier and Hogan and his crew are Allied soldiers, but they do seem to consider each other friends. If nothing else, he respects Hogan for saving his can so many times.
- Food as Bribe: This is how LeBeau usually gets him to look the other way.
- Gentle Giant: He's a big guy. He's also a teddy bear, and it's clear the Heroes follow his orders not out of fear or respect but because he covers for them.
- The Guards Must Be Crazy: Well, he would know. He is Sergeant of the Guard.
- I'll Pretend I Didn't Hear That: His catchphrase is precisely this trope.
- Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain: He is technically one of the bad guys. Actually, he's supposed to be Klink's dragon. Sometimes it's difficult to remember whom he works for.Schultz: Sometimes, I have to be on our side!
- Lovable Coward: He really just wants to keep things nice and quiet and peaceful on his shift, and definitely doesn't want to get involved in anything that might look like trouble. Given who he has to work for, you really can't blame him either. He's also petrified of the idea of being sent to the front lines and doesn't even keep his gun loaded.
- Mildly Military: In addition to willfully ignoring military fitness standards, Schultz tends to be very laid back and at times disrespectful of superior officers, Klink in particular.
- Minion with an F in Evil:
Schultz: Colonel Hogan, there are soldiers out there — real soldiers. Me? It is just a job.
- Schultz made toys for children before getting drafted when war broke out, and willingly turns a blind eye to Hogan and his crew's antics. He does get a little more serious when in a German officer's presence, but is otherwise more concerned with just surviving each day.
- In some episodes he even assisted Hogan and his crew with their capers, and on at least one occasion was the only reason they had any chance of succeeding.
- Mistaken for Dying: A purposeful mixup of checkup patients once makes Klink think Schultz has a few days to live, when really he's just going on leave for the weekend.Schultz: I wish you were going with me!Klink: *pained* I probably deserved that...
- Obfuscating Stupidity: He repeatedly states, "I know NUSSINK!" but in reality he's probably on to just about everything that goes on in Stalag 13 - he just wishes he wasn't. At one point, he stops Hogan's crew from pushing him too far on a deal. Also, idiots don't run large companies or get promoted to OR-7 ranks.
- Old Soldier: Apparently. He fought in WWI, and apparently repeatedly saved the life of a cherry lieutenant who went on to become a fearsome general. Nobody believes it at first. The general also claims that Schultz was his Sergeant Rock and showed him the ropes when he "knew nothing about war."
- Pity the Kidnapper: In the same vein as Klink. Probably applies to him even more though, considering how often the prisoners he is supposed to be watching drag him into their plots. All he wants is a nice quiet shift with no "monkey business."
- Punch-Clock Villain: He was last a serious soldier twenty-five years ago at the latest. After WWI he left the army to become a toymaker, and now that he's back in the army in WWII, all he really wants is to sit out the war in a cushy garrison posting guarding prisoners who don't want to escape until the fighting stops and he can go back to making toys again.
- Secretly Wealthy: Subverted. He once owned the largest toy factory in Germany, but it was taken over for war production, which probably didn't do his finances any favors.Schultz: I'm a poor man, Herr Kommandant. I even have no right to be fat.
- Selective Obliviousness: He is the master of this trope (the idiot defense).
- The So-Called Coward: As mentioned under Old Soldier, he was apparently a Sergeant Rock back in World War I and has stood up to Gestapo agents during the course of the series. In some episodes he actually (albeit very reluctantly) assisted Hogan and his crew pull off their capers, such as when he threw his weight around while pretending to be a general to protect several of Hogan's men (though being completely drunk probably helped), and on at least one occasion he was the only reason their mission had a chance of success. There’s willful ignorance in an effort to keep your skin intact, and then there’s committing outright treason against a government that wouldn’t hesitate to torture and execute you and quite possibly your family for such a crime.
- Spanner in the Works: Schultz occasionally unintentionally meddles with Hogan's plans (usually by showing up with requests/orders when Hogan is on a tight schedule) but the best example of this is when he reveals Hogan's identity to Marya in their first encounter. This is what enables her to learn about Stalag 13 in the first place.
- Trademark Favorite Food: Apple Strudel.
- Tyrant Takes the Helm: You might be surprised at this, but Stalag 13 is not a fun place to be when Schultz is in charge. Possibly because he knows what happens, and is responsible for anything going wrong.
- Ultimate Job Security: Schultz is thought to be incompetent by everyone who knows who he is, and he tends to be very lax around his superiors. The prisoners count him as an ally (he's in on their schemes though he wishes he wasn't) and have to pull strings to keep him around.
- You Didn't See That: He does this to himself.
General Albert Burkhalter
General der Infanterie Albert Hans "Hansi" Burkhalter is Klink's superior officer who frequently tires of Klink's babbling and incompetence, often telling him to "shut up" and threatening to send him to the Russian Front. Burkhalter is mystified by Stalag 13's perfect record, unable to make sense of it in combination with its Kommandant's frequently-evidenced incompetence. Burkhalter affects to live a Spartan existence like a good German officer, but in reality, he loves the good life, even in war. He is scared to death of Mrs. Burkhalter (calling her "the highest authority in Germany"), testifying to this several times during the series.
- Aesop Amnesia: Always thinks it's a good idea to test out his latest weapon or other project near Stalag 13 despite how this invariably involves the weapon not working. The fact that he has multiple other prison camps under his authority he could have gone to instead doesn't help.
- Bad Boss: He's pretty hard on Klink and seems to take pleasure in ruining Klink's plans, hopes and dreams.
- Big Eater: Whenever Klink is throwing a dinner.
- Big Bad: He's Klink's superior and in charge of the prison camps system.
- Comedic Sociopathy: On occasion. In one episode, when one of his aides has been framed for treason by Hogan...Framed aide: I demand a fair trial!Burkhalter: In Germany?
- Cut His Heart Out with a Spoon: Some of his threats to Klink, like this little gem:Burkhalter: Klink, you will be court-martialed, shot, and sent to the Russian front.Klink: But General Burkhalter, you can't do all of those to me!Burkhalter: Try me.
- Deadpan Snarker: A good portion of his lines are sarcastic jabs toward Klink.
- Determined Defeatist: General Burkhalter doggedly executes projects meant to help the German war effort, but there are moments that imply he isn't doing so with much optimism. In one episode, he says that a new weapon will change the scope of the war, then adds "We might even win."
- Dueling Scar: We never know how he got it, thoughnote .
- Fat Bastard: Klink thinks so, calling him a nasty old tub of lard on one occasion. Unfortunately for Klink, Burkhalter was standing right behind him when he did so. Burkhalter promptly cancels Klink's leave and says:Burkhalter: I really am a nasty old tub of lard.
- Hanlon's Razor: How he views Klink and Schultz.Kohler: Do you actually suspect Klink of disloyalty?
Burkhalter: Disloyalty? No. Stupidity? Yes.
- Henpecked Husband: He's terrified of his wife. No, that is not an exaggeration.Burkhalter: This comes from the highest authority in the Third Reich?
Klink: The highest? Der Fuhrer?
Burkhalter: Higher than that. [Beat] My wife.
- In-Series Nickname: Hansi, only his wife and brother-in-law get to call him that.
- Large and in Charge: A very fat man whose authority is absolute.
- Only Sane Man: He's typically one of the few Germans portrayed as competent. But he can be manipulated with a bit of effort all the same...
- Orcus on His Throne: He wants to have as little to do with Stalag 13 and Colonel Klink as possible, and who can blame him? It's also implied he likes living the good life more than he does his job as a Wehrmacht general.
- Pet the Dog: He definitely cares a lot about his widowed sister. He wants to marry her off so that she isn't alone (even if it means becoming Klink's brother-in-law) and when she is taken hostage, he immediately orders Hochstetter to release an Underground prisoner in order to get her back, even threatening to call Himmler and get him to order Hochstetter to do it if he doesn't follow Burkhalter's orders.
- Soldiers at the Rear: It's doubtful that he's been near a battlefield since the first world war, although he does play a large role in the development of new weapons for the war effort.
- Straight Man: He often ends up in this role.
- Surrounded by Idiots: His views on the staff at Stalag 13.
Major Wolfgang Hochstetter
Kriminalrat (Major) Wolfgang Hochstetter is a Gestapo officer and an ardent Nazi who never understands why Hogan is constantly allowed to barge into Klink's office at will. Hochstetter frequently demands of Klink "Who is this man?" or "What is this man doing here?!" with increasing stridency. He is also noted for the many times he shouts "Baah!" at Klink or Hogan after his multiple failures. Klink is justifiably afraid of him, but Burkhalter, who despises Hochstetter just as much as Klink does, is not.
- Artistic License – History: For the most part, he's shown wearing a black uniform. While Gestapo personnel stationed in occupied territory did wear such uniforms to avoid being mistaken for civilians, those stationed in Germany (like Hochstetter is) usually wore plainclothes.
- Bluff the Eavesdropper: He once deliberately left the window to Klink's office open while saying out-loud some false information about a radar unit being down just to see if anyone would take the bait. Unfortunately for Hogan, LeBeau took it hook, line and sinker.
- Cassandra Truth:
- He believes that Stalag 13 is at the center of all the sabotage in the area. He's right... he just can't prove it.
- Oddly enough, he winds up on the other end of the Cassandra Truth in "Lady Chitterly's Lover". Lord Chitterly escapes from the tunnels and tells Klink about them, who then relates all of this info to Hochstetter... who doesn't believe a single word of it.
- Character Catchphrase: "What is this man doing here?!" and "Baah!" Also, (paraphrase) "I will surround this area with a ring of steel!"
- The Comically Serious
- Day of the Jackboot: After Hogan, Klink and the boys really piss him off concerning a new kamikaze version of the V2 rocket, he has the Gestapo seize control of the camp. The next episode consists of Hogan trying to figure out a way to get the men he left in charge of the camp out of their hair.
- Dragon-in-Chief: While technically lower-in-rank than Klink and Burkhalter, he is a member of the SS which gives him power and authority above what his rank would indicate, and when he shows up, he is usually the one running the show and he is a much more dangerous threat to the boys than Klink and Burkhalter are.
- The Dreaded: Klink is scared of him, for good reason. The local resistance and underground fear him. Hogan is wary of him. Hochstetter is not a man to be taken lightly.
- Enraged by Idiocy: You can visibly watch Hochstetter's blood pressure go up when he has to deal with Klink and Schultz.
- Everyone Is a Suspect: He has this mindset and views people who are not under his direct command or his immediate superiors with deep suspicion.
- Hair-Trigger Temper: It doesn't take a whole lot to set Hochstetter off.
- Interservice Rivalry: Another reason Klink and Burkhalter hate him.
- Jerkass: Doesn't bother trying to hide his contempt for Klink or the prisoners.
- Knight of Cerebus: He is actually one of the few villains who is a real threat. Hogan realizes this:Hogan: We have only three chances to pull this off: dim, dimmer and dimmest.Marya: Oh Hogan darling, I forgot to mention that Major Hochstetter of the Gestapo is on his way here.Hogan: Now we are down to dimmest.
- Large Ham: When infuriated.
- Lean and Mean: Especially compared to Burkhalter, who he often appears alongside of.
- Majorly Awesome: From the bad guys' point of view. Klink and Burkhalter both outrank Hochstetter but act completely subservient to the man, though in Burkhalter's case, he allows Hochstetter to run amok only as long as it doesn't cause problems for him. As soon as he feels that Hochstetter has gone too far (or is at least not worth the headache) he pulls rank.
- Meaningful Name: Hochstetter is German for "high stepper;" a reference to the Nazis' "goose stepping" way of marching in formation.
- The Neidermeyer: Just one of the reasons that Klink and Burkhalter hate him. Klink is hardly A Father to His Men, but he's a lot more so than Hochstetter.
- No Indoor Voice: He is almost always yelling.
- No One Could Survive That!: His arrest in "War Takes a Holiday", proof that the episodes are in Anachronic Order.
- Not So Above It All: He does have some sillier moments, namely his reaction to (falsely) finding out that Klink is Nimrod.
- Only Sane Man: Considering he's the only German in the main cast convinced that there is more to Stalag 13 and Colonel Hogan than meets the eye...
- Promotion, Not Punishment: In one episode Hochstetter is terrified of punishment after thinking he killed a fugitive Hitler had expressed personal interest in with a stray shot to a gas tank (really the Heroes faked the man's death). It turns out, however, that Hitler is glad that the man is "dead", and Hochstetter is promised a commendation due to the belief that Hochstetter was deliberately able to Make It Look Like an Accident.
- Properly Paranoid: As LeBeau points out, "Hochstetter is so secretive he won't even talk to himself!" Given who he's dealing with, this isn't an unnecessary security precaution.
- Rabid Cop: He's convinced that Hogan is running the sabotage activities in the areanote and that Klink needs to gonote , and he will do anything to put them in their places. Sometimes it seems like he's working backwards from "Stalag 13 is behind these events" to make the conclusions he does with the evidence he has.
- Secret Police: Tends to be arresting German citizens just as often as he's investigating Hogan. See The Gestapo.
- State Sec: Being a Gestapo officer, he's a member of this, which allows him to boss around Wehrmacht officers with ranks higher than his (up to a point, at least).
- Straight Man: Hochstetter is not a funny man and is one of the few serious characters on the show, not to mention one of the few real, recurring threats to the main characters. That doesn't stop him from setting up a punchline every now and then.
- Suddenly Shouting: Usually subverted, as he typically works his way up to maximum volume. However, after one incident where some Roman Candles on a birthday cake lead to a neutralized radio detection truck and the crew narrowly escaping exposure he asks Klink (at normal volume) how it happened.Klink: Major, you simply won't believe it!Hochstetter: TRY ME!!
- Surrounded by Idiots: He doesn't exactly hold Klink, Schultz or the rest of the personnel at Stalag 13 in a very positive light. Granted, he has a legitimate reason for this.
- Suspiciously Similar Substitute: Before playing Major Hochstetter, Howard Caine played a Colonel Feldkamp of the Gestapo in an earlier episode who was a dead-ringer in terms of looks, attitude and mannerisms to Major Hochstetter. However, Feldkamp was killed in the same episode in which he was introduced, "The Battle of Stalag 13".
- Tyrant Takes the Helm: When he shows up, he tends to assume control of all German forces in the camp and nearby areas. Naturally he runs everything with an iron fist.
- We Have Ways of Making You Talk: Though when he says it, Hogan immediately lampshades it by saying that Hochstetter has been watching too many American movies.
- You Look Familiar: Howard Caine played a couple of one-off German officers, the above Feldkamp and Major Keitel (commander of an anti-aircraft gun battery), before settling in as the recurring Major Hochstetter. And since he played Feldkamp almost exactly like Major Hochstetter, it can become a bit confusing.
Klink's secretary in Season 1.
- Friendly Enemy: The "enemy" part comes from her being German and under Klink's employ.
- Put on a Bus: After season 1, she is replaced by Hilda. Reportedly, Cynthia Lynn's husband convinced her to leave the show after he learned of her affair with Bob Crane.
- Retcon: In the pilot, she knows about the tunnels, and actively participates in the operations (as the manicurist). In the series proper, she is never shown working with the heroes, only occasionally providing Hogan with information.
- Servile Snarker: In one episode, as Klink talks about the symbolic meaning of "The Flight of the Valkyries," Helga says "As a warrior, you must feel it deeply." with a very insincere look on her face. Klink is facing away from her, so he doesn't pick up on the sarcasm.
- Sexy Secretary: Something that's repeatedly lampshaded.
Klink's secretary from season 2 onwards.
- Friendly Enemy: Same as Helga. She helps out Hogan almost as often as Schultz, and often with less subtlety.
- Sexy Secretary: Just ask Hogan and Burkhalter.
- Suspiciously Similar Substitute: For Helga.
Frau Gertrude Linkmeyer
General Burkhalter's sister. She is usually in a one-sided relationship with Klink (who is scared to death of her), but Hogan manages to split the two one way or another.
- Abhorrent Admirer: Much comedy is gained from Burkhalter's attempts to marry her off, especially when the target is Klink.
- Brawn Hilda: She's shrewish and something of a control freak. She's also the only recurring female in the show who isn't conventionally attractive.
- Deadpan Snarker: Appears to be a Burkhalter trait.General Burkhalter: Wouldn't it be nicer to sit around the house with a husband?Gertrude Linkmeyer: Maybe. Whose husband?
- The Mourning After: Sort of. She is reluctant to marry again because she isn't sure she's actually a widow: after all, Herr Linkmeyer is only recorded as being missing, not dead. Her brother keeps pointing out that with soldiers on the Russian Front, missing generally means dead, especially after three years.
- Tyrant Takes the Helm: Stalag 13 isn't that fun when she's in charge either...
Corporal Karl Langengschneidt
- Bearer of Bad News: Often seen entering Klink's office to report something bad has gone wrong.
- A Day in the Limelight: "Art for Hogan's Sake" where he and Schultz escort Hogan and LeBeau to Paris and get caught up in one of their plans, and "Will the Blue Baron Strike Again?," where he fills in Schultz's usual role due to Jon Banner being unable to appear in that episode.
- Fat and Skinny: Sometimes serves as the skinny to Schultz's fat.
- Friendly Enemy: Like Schultz, he's very polite and cordial with the prisoners he guards, to the point where calling them enemies is a stretch.
- Nice Guy: Never mistreats or condescends to the prisoners and gets along well with Schultz.
- Saying Too Much: Every now and then he lets important information slip to Hogan without realizing it.
- Soldiers at the Rear: His service at the camp has shades of this, although it's implied that he was a frontline soldier in the past due to a couple of combat decorations occasionally visible.
- You Didn't See That: Not to Schultz's degree, but he does it once or twice.
- You Look Familiar: Jon Cedar appeared in three episodes as other characters (a Guilt-Ridden Accomplice to a government-sanctioned counterfeiting ring, a Beleaguered Assistant to a Gestapo officer and Oskar Danzig, a Master of Disguise in La Résistance). Given that last one there are occasional Epileptic Trees that the other two identities (and possibly Langenschneidt himself) were some of Danzig's disguises, or that Langengschneidt and Danzig are related somehow.
- Cool Old Guy: Resists the Nazis very effectively and shows a more charming and pleasant side when talking to any of Hogan's men.
- Grumpy Old Man: Often shows this towards Schultz, although given how he has to be careful to avoid discovery, it's justified, and sometimes they do have a bit of a rapport.
- Kindly Vet: He is a bit dismissive of his charges, saying "a dog's a dog" on occasion but does seem to dote on them in others.
- La Résistance: A member of the Underground.
- Cassandra Truth: In one episode Hogan impersonates him to date the daughter of a local general who is part of the underground while Gruber is on leave. When Gruber returns, Klink is congratulating him on his romantic success (and trying to take advantage of these new connections) and doesn't believe Gruber when he honestly professes having no idea what Klink is talking about, accusing him of being selfish about his new connections.
- Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: After just three in-person appearances, he's never mentioned after season 4, and several episodes (both before and after that) imply or outright state that Klink has no full-time second-in-command or aide.
- Drunk with Power: He's at his worst when he thinks he has permeant command of the camp.
- Hyper-Competent Sidekick: He's a more traditional, no-nonsense jailer than Klink.
- No-Nonsense Nemesis: He's a far stricter and more alert commandant than Klink. Naturally, the heroes make sure to discredit him as soon as Burkhalter starts entertaining ideas of giving him command for good.
- Spotting the Thread: In one episode where Klink's been kidnapped he picks up on how much Hogan seems to know about it, and gets a little suspicious, although nothing comes of this.
- Sudden Name Change: He's called Fritz in one episode and Felix in another.
- You Are in Command Now: He runs the camp for short periods while Klink is on leave, or in one case when Klink has been captured by the underground.
General Bernhart Bruner
A member of the German generals staff who twice visits the area.
- Deadpan Snarker: He gets in quite a few insults at Klink in a dry tone.
- Dirty Coward: He's outraged at the idea of Klink being promoted to the general staff and a friend of his being relieved, but when Carter (disguised as a Gestapo agent representing Hitler) challenges Bruner and his fellow generals to repeat this sentiment, they all back down. Of course this is somewhat justified given Hitler's historical track record.
- Military Brat: His father was also a general.
- Old Soldier: He's an aging man who wears the iron cross.
- Rage Breaking Point: When (due to one of the heroes' schemes) he thinks that Hitler has promoted Klink to the general's staff due to desiring a yes-man.
- Evil Old Folks: An utterly ruthless Gestapo officer whose hair is going gray.
- One-Steve Limit: There's also a Colonel Feldkamp of the SS who appears in one episode, played by Howard Caine. This might also be a case of The Other Darrin, although this Feldkamp is very dissimilar in appearance and less hot-headed and buffoonish than Caine's character.
- Properly Paranoid: In "The Big Gamble" he's very concerned about the security of the Direction Finder box taken from an Allied plane, which, of course, Hogan and his men are trying to steal.
- State Sec: He once brought a spy to a dinner party, and it's vague just who his target was. Klink ended up discussing airplane advantages with her and was nearly executed as a result.
- Back for the Finale: She appears once in season 5 and then again in the series finale (although her season 5 appearance seems to take place earlier, as she flees the country at the end of her first appearance and it's established that they're meeting for the first time in the finale. Either that or Mason plays two different underground agents named Lily Frankel.
- Boyish Short Hair: Her hair barely goes down past her ears in her first appearance.
- The Chanteuse: She's a famous lounge singer who Hogan, Klink, and Hochstetter are all attracted to.
- Deadpan Snarker: She insults her Abhorrent Admirer Colonel Klink in a dry and biting tone.Klink: (approaching from behind) Guess who?Lily: Count Dracula.Klink: Colonel Klink.Liliy: Well, I was close
- Samus Is a Girl: In the finale, Hogan is surprised to find out that his contact Frankel is a woman.
- Took a Level in Badass: Zigzagged. She's merely a spy and source of information in her first episode, but travels through heavily patrolled woods territory to help Hogan blow up some mobile rocket launchers in the finale. However, the finale seemingly takes place before her previous appearance.
Lieutenant BergmanAn unlucky junior officer at Stalag 13 who specializes in search parties.
- Big Eater: Repeatedly requests time off from a manhunt for a downed Russian flier in order to eat lunch.
- Butt-Monkey: In "A Russian is Coming" Klink repeatedly refuses to let him take him off of a search party to have lunch, and in "The Return of Major Bonacelli", threatens to send him to the Russian Front if he fails to recover Klink's stolen staff car.
- Ensign Newbie: A junior officer, who, from the sound of it, isn't terribly competent or good at reading his commanding officers mood.
- The Ghost: Klink talks to him over the phone in two episodes, but as far as we know, he never appears in person.
Colonel Rodney Crittendon
Group Captain (Colonel) Rodney Crittendon is a hopelessly incompetent British officer who crosses paths several times with Hogan and his crew. Crittendon believes that a POW's only focus should be escape. When first transferred to Stalag 13 from Stalag 18, Hogan posed a hypothetical question to Crittendon asking what he would do if he were aware the POWs were engaged in spying and sabotage. Crittendon replies that he would report them to the German authorities, thus preventing himself from being included in the official mission of the Stalag 13 POWs. He ends up finding out about their set-up, but still fouls up operations through a mix of bad luck and incompetence.
- Born Lucky: Somehow. He may be a Walking Disaster Area to everyone else, but he always comes out okay. Case in point, in "Crittendon's Commandos" Murphy's law in is full effect with the titular commandos getting captured and the heroes actually failing to get their intended target...yet Crittendon avoids capture by sheer luck and the guy they end up accidentally sending to England turns out to be the very guy he was sent to rescue in the first place! Subverted in some cases, though. He just can't seem to pull off an escape.
- Character Development: He started off as a completely incompetent and oblivious Miles Gloriosus; in his last episode he successfully helps Hogan and co. carry out a mission by impersonating an English traitor.
- Cloud Cuckoo Lander: The infamous Crittendon Plan is to plant geraniums along airstrips so that pilots have something pleasant to look at when they land. Seriously.
- Good Counterpart: He's the Allied version of Colonel Klink.
- General Failure: Every plan he comes up with he screws up. The man is a colonel, and somehow doesn't understand military time.
- The Klutz: He could give Carter and Schutlz a run for their money.
- Know-Nothing Know-It-All: One episode has him mistaking the instructions for his radio set for a map of the area, and once attempts to quote Hamlet, but is actually reciting Romeo and Juliet and keeps forgetting the words for that.
- Lawful Stupid: You saw that part about him telling Hogan he would have to inform the German authorities if he found out the prisoners were running a spy and sabotage ring because he was required to do so under the Geneva Convention, yes? Fortunately, he develops out of it... or at least out of the "Lawful" part...
- Lethally Stupid: He came close to blowing up the camp, and once he almost caused Hogan to end up on a train rigged to blow.
- The Load: Every time he shows up, with one exception, he weighs Hogan and the boys down. Literally in one episode, when Hogan jabs him with an Instant Sedation syringe while raiding a hospital to grab an enemy VIP. They push him around on a gurney for a bit, and Newkirk nearly leaves him behind before Hogan drags him back to get Crittendon.
- Lord Error-Prone: Crittendon is so incompetent that Hogan feels the best place for him to serve the Allied war effort is in a German prisoner of war camp. Just not Stalag 13.Newkirk: You see, [Crittendon]'s life is in constant danger, and if any harm were to come to him, it would be a crippling blow to the German war effort.
- Miles Gloriosus: Boasts of having taken a course in commando training while seeing nothing wrong with the fact that it only lasted for a weekend.
- The Neidermeyer: Those plans to kill him aren't entirely sarcastic.
- The Obi-Wannabe: He tries to act wise and take command from Colonel Hogan, but all he comes up with is an endless string of bad ideas and plans. His plan to assassinate a scientist involves a crossbow. And then progresses on to using high explosives. To kill one guy.
- Oblivious to Hints: Hogan and crew often try first to subtly convince him to let them continue with their own plans. He doesn't take the hints.
- One-Steve Limit: According to "The Crittendon Plan", there are actually two RAF Group Captains named Crittendon, both of whom have been captured by the Germans and are being held in POW camps. A key plot point of the episode is that London accidentally sent the Heroes to recruit the wrong Colonel Crittendon for their mission, as the other, unseen Crittendon is actually competent.
- Pointy-Haired Boss: He's not trying to be, but this inevitably happens whenever he's in charge of things.
- Punch! Punch! Punch! Uh Oh.../What the Fu Are You Doing?: He once tries to take out Corporal Kohler, who's guarding a truck (see below), using his "killer judo". Doesn't do too well.
- Quintessential British Gentleman: Bernard Fox had a habit of playing this type of character and Col. Rodney Crittendon is no exception.
- Rules Lawyer: Especially evident during his introduction when he says he would turn the prisoners in if he found them conducting sabotage operations because that would violate the laws and customs of war.
- Small Name, Big Ego: To an even greater extent than Klink. Whereas Klink seems to realize just how out of his depth he would be in combat, Crittendon never does. He's utterly convinced of his skill in battle.
- Spanner in the Works: He manages to screw up Colonel Hogan's plans just about every time he shows up. To give one example, he drives a truck loaded with explosives Hogan's crew had rigged to blow back from the factory they parked it at, straight into camp, and parks it beside their barracks.
- Sword Cane: Carries one around in his swagger stick "Hogan Go Home", although he keeps forgetting to sheath it back up, causing him to cut holes in his shirts.
- The Thing That Would Not Leave: If Crittendon appears, plans to get rid of him (or at least keep him as far away from the mission as possible) follow.
- Tyrant Takes the Helm: He's incompetent but he's bossy and a strict disciplinarian. And unfortunately for the heroes, he outranks Hogannote , which means they have to listen to him.
- Walking Disaster Area: When he's trying to help the mission he usually ends up wrecking it. He also apparently got a demolition squad he was working with killed somehow. If he and Hochstetter show up in the same episode, it's usually a toss-up to who the bigger threat to the Heroes is.
Marya is a Soviet (although she insists she's a White Russian) spy who works occasionally with Hogan, but whom he doesn't entirely trust. She often appears as the trusted assistant or lover of some high-ranking German officer or scientist. Her mission is often to either discredit or destroy said officer or scientist, as she notes that "Hitler can't be expected to kill all of his generals." Her schemes often come into conflict with Hogan's plans, but she always proves to be either faithful to the Allied cause or to have compatible causes of her own.
- Abhorrent Admirer: Looking at her, she doesn't seem so bad... but Hogan and especially Klink don't exactly approve of her affections for them (mostly because both of them know that if Marya appears, trouble follows).
- Always Someone Better: Marya is the one character in the series to consistently get the better of Hogan.
- Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Given the way she acts, you'd never guess she's a hypercompetent secret agent.
- Character Catchphrase: Hogan, DARRRLIIING!
- The Chessmaster: She actually outplays Hogan, repeatedly.
- Complexity Addiction: To rival Hogan. Most of her plans involve getting the Heroes into trouble so they'll help her out in some bizarre way. Of course, Hogan says multiple times (as in just about every time she shows up) that if she'd only asked instead of getting them backed into a corner, he'd have helped her anyway.Carter: Pardon me, sir, but every time she shows up, don't things tend to get a bit, well, confused?
- Decoy Damsel: All those poor German officers she hooks up with. They have no idea what they are getting themselves into. Well, one does, but he still winds up played.
- Double Agent: A Russian spy who has any number of Germans convinced she's on their side.
- Femme Fatale Spy: Attractive woman? Yes. Hobnobs with the German elite? Yes. Actually a Russian spy? Yeah.
- Genius Ditz: She's one of the finest intelligence operatives to appear on the show, which says a lot considering she shares the screen with the Heroes. She is also a complete and utter loon.
- Honey Trap: She made a career out of it.
- Indy Ploy: Her plans often center around purposefully getting Hogan and company into an unpleasant situation and then trusting that whatever wacky scheme they come up with to get out of the situation will benefit her cause as well, despite having no idea what they're specifically going to do.
- Large Ham: Overblown and dramatic about everything.
- Lady of Adventure: There is never a dull moment when Marya is around.
- The Nicknamer: Hogan is notably the only character she calls by name. She calls LeBeau her "Small One" and her General of the Week by some term of endearment.
- Obfuscating Stupidity: She acts the part of an oversexed, materialistic flirt but her plans often run circles around Hogan himself.
- Only One Name: We never know her last name, or even if Marya is actually her real first name.
- Phony Psychic: One of her covers.
- Pretty in Mink: Really likes her furs.
- Sensual Slav: Schultz, LeBeau and various guest characters certainly think so.
- Spanner in the Works: She's not averse to putting Hogan in a tight spot to accomplish her own goals. Actually, it tends to be her MO. On the other hand, she never prevents Hogan from getting his job done as well.
- Too Kinky to Torture: Hogan once has to tie her up and knock her out with the butt of his gun so it will look like she wasn't involved with the events. She's ecstatic about it and Hogan can't bring himself to do it, so he gives her the gun and tells her to knock herself out. She does it with great eagerness. After asking if Hogan's refusal to crack her across the head meant he didn't really love her.
- The Vamp: All the German generals she hooks up with wind up dead or Allied prisoners.
- Women Are Wiser: The most prominent female character in the show is also (probably) the most intelligent and cunning.
- Who Needs Enemies?: Marya actually came closer than the Germans to getting Hogan killed a couple of times. Mainly because she straight-up told a few German generals about Hogan's activities.
A member of the French Resistance. Her real name is Marie Louise Monet.
- Action Girl: She is a major operative in the Underground.
- Damsel in Distress: Has to be saved by Hogan twice.
- Offscreen Moment of Awesome: Apparently, sometime between "Hold That Tiger" and "Operation Tiger", she saved Hogan's life on a mission.
- Samus Is a Girl: The original plan in her introduction episode was for her to switch places with LeBeau, which was scrapped immediately when he realized she was a woman.note
- Comically Small Bribe: The heroes first get him involved in their activities with a pizza recipe.
- Lovable Coward: Bravery is other alien to him, but he has a good heart and is on the right side.
- The Other Darrin: Played by different actors in his two appearances.
- The Mole: Sends Hogan information about how many German troops are being quartered in his hometown and help get pictures of some German guns and smuggle them to England before defecting.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here: He is terrified of the war, and the direction it's taking and is introduced trying to defect to Switzerland. After his cover is eventually blown the heroes help him escape to England.
- Trademark Favorite Food: Pizza.
- Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: Appears and works with the heroes in three episodes, all of them bunched closely together, then is never mentioned again.
- Double Agent: In one episode he helps the heroes smuggle bulletproof vests meant for La Résistance out of camp by pretending to be a defector who invented them and presenting them to the Germans, so that they'll take the vests out, and the resistance can hijack them in route.
- La Résistance: A French pilot who's continued fighting the Germans throughout the occupation.
- Lantern Jaw of Justice: He has a prominent jaw and is on the side of the heroes.