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Ranking the 9 Main Star Wars Musical Scores
- Ranking The 9 Main Star Wars Musical Scores:
- As per usual, the jingles:
- #8: A flute/recorder cover of Duel of The Fates.
- #7: "The last of the Jedi, I said you were, but I..."
- #6: "The force AWAKEN!"
- #5: "Star Wars... a billion years in the making..."
- #4: The infamous "I don't like sand" speech.
- #3: "The Empire is chasing us; they simply will not cease..."
- #2: The "Yub Nub" song.
- As per usual, the jingles:
Every Dreamworks Movie Ranked
- Every DreamWorks Movie Ranked:
- With a animation studio as big and inconsistent as DreamWorks, you know these jingles will hit harder this time:
- #37: "DA-DA!"
- #36: "BABYBABYBABYBABYBABY"
- #35: "Wooooorld Tour!"
- #34: Puff Daddy's line "It's Oscar! Raise the reef!"
- #33: An advertisement from Kidz Bop.
- #32: "Monsters Vs. Aliens!"note
- #31: "Battle Tower Blitz"
- #30:♫ We are the pirates who don't do anything! ♫
- #29: "Bazinga!" followed by a Laugh Track and the sound of a car crash.note
- #28: This conversation from Bee Movie:Ken: Are there other bugs in your life!?
Vanessa: No! - #27: "Jason And The Pussycats"
- #26: A remix of "Afro Circus" and "MEGALOVANIA".
- #25: The music from "The Candy Man" scene.
- #24: Dialogue from Phineas and Ferb The Movie: Candace Against the Universe:Doofenshmirtz: Wait a minute, accidents can happen...
Vanessa: Dad, we're not going to kill this chicken. - #23: "Our world doesn't deserve you... yet."
- #22: "Abominable! Heh heh, can you believe that?"
- #21: "Prepare for my civil rights BEAM!".
- #20: "OH, SHIT! A RAT!".
- #19: "Just scram, okay? We're closed for Ebola."
- #18: Part of "It's Tough To Be A God".
- #17: A text-to-speech reading of the movie's entire Opening Narration ("According to all known laws...") while the video slowly zooms in on the number 17.
- #16: "OOOOOOHHHHH! OOOOOHHHHH!"
- #15: "Rockin' The Suburbs"
- #14: "Go on, buddy. Lead them to the hidden world..."
- #13: "Time travel! I-I see this as an absolute win."
- #12: "Your Guardians of the Galaxy!"
- #11: The beginning part of "Shrek's Day Out"
- #10: "If It's True"
- #9: This edit of A Grand Day Out:"No crack, Gromit! We've forgotten the crack!"
- #8: Metroman singing "I have eyes that can see through leeeead!"
- #7: He overlays Jack Black's "FUCK YOU! YOU FUCKING DICK!" onto the scene where Po yells from a rooftop but is too far away for Shen to hear. This one is so hilarious that it plays again at the end of the segment, using a different section of Jack's rant.
- #6: This lyric from the BoJack Horseman credits song, "Back in the 90s"."♫ That I'm more horse than a man ♫
- #5: "I am the Night Fury Killer."
- #4: Jack Black's "I'm gonna kick your ass!" overlayed onto the scene where Po challenges Tai Lung while holding the Dragon Scroll. Kung Fu Panda 3 is left out from this Running Gag, since its jingle was instead a Bait-and-Switch (see below).
- #3: "DRAAAAAGOOOOOOOONNNN!"
- #2: He uses the beginning portion of "Holding Out for a Hero" (just like he did when he presented the Fairy Godmother as his #1 DreamWorks villain). Furthermore, the number 2 is actually taken from the logo of the movie, ogre ears and all.
- If you thought he was angry enough in the aforementioned live-action Mulan review, he gets downright furious at the list's bottom two movies, Turbo and Shrek the Third, verbally tearing them apart (and using many dolphin chirps in the process) for the former's weak plot and the latter leaving a black mark on the Shrek franchise as a whole.
- In sharp contrast to his above blowout, he sounds utterly exhausted and uninterested when describing Trolls World Tour, only raising his mood when he realizes that the movie wasn't a theatrical release and thus he doesn't need to talk about it anymore.
- For #36, he brings up how in his Best Animated Feature ranking, he described Spirited Away as an ethereal, immersive, unforgettable experience that leaves you a changed person by the end… only to say then:Schaffrillas: All of that applies to The Boss Baby as well, but… in the opposite way. This movie is the anti-Spirited Away. The first 10 minutes was the most anxiety-inducing (dolphin chirp) horrifying experience I’ve ever had watching a movie. I actually screamed at multiple intervals. This movie legitimately made me question my sanity over and over and I saw Cats on opening night in theaters! I didn't think anything could break me, but this movie did.
- He later on calms down and talks about how the funniest parts of the entire movie were the attempts at emotional moments.Schaffrillas: I just burst out laughing because what the (dolphin chirp) did the movie expect me to do? Get emotional over the character of Boss Baby? It's Boss Baby!
- He later on calms down and talks about how the funniest parts of the entire movie were the attempts at emotional moments.
- His Immediate Self-Contradiction when he begins talking about Shark Tale:Schaffrillas: Shark Tale is such an atrocious movie and I don't understand how people like it. With that said, I LOVE this movie. I am OBSESSED with it.
- His wording when talking about the climax of The Croods:Schaffrillas: I was really disappointed when the iconic cinematic icon Grug played by Nicolas Cage threw his family off a cliff towards the end. It was disappointing cause I thought that meant they were dead and the movie could officially end, but sadly, no.
- He admits that one of the jokes from The Croods that got him to laugh was, in his words, "when the sloth pulls out a knife and gets ready to shank a bitch".
- The groan-inducing pun that he gives at the start of his segment on Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas:Sinbad? More like Sin... Baaaad! Ha!
- When going over Antz, he answers the question "but is it good?" using this scene:Z: You know, I was going to let you become a part of my most erotic fantasies -
Schaff: Uuuuuuhhhhh... - After giving his thoughts on Chicken Run, he ends the segment with this question:Also, are we just not going to talk about the fact that Mr. Tweedy murders his wife at the end?
- For #23, he says that he gave too much credit for a specific sequel, using footage from How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World while talking about it... that sequel is Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa. Then he fakes out again for #14, complete with a jingle from The Hidden World, but this time the sequel is Kung Fu Panda 3.note
- The ending of his segment on Flushed Away:Henchfrog: What about dinner?
Le Frog: (silently walks up to the Henchfrog) Fuck you. - When praising Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie, he uses the background appearance of the "Everything Except Fabric Softener" store as proof that the creators were faithful to the source material.
- At the start of his segment on Bee Movie, he admits that he expects a lot of complaints for placing it high on the list (#17)...But (dolphin chirp) it. BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMOVIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeee. (Beat)
- He starts the segment on How to Train Your Dragon 2 by mentioning how much his opinion on the Madagascar trilogy changed upon rewatching, and that he hoped the same thing would happen to this movie so that he enjoys it as much as everyone else.
- He ends his segment on Mr. Peabody & Sherman by editing Markiplier's facecam into the scene where Mr. Peabody bites Mrs. Grunion.Markiplier: Was that The Bite of '87!?
- For #11 on the list, he first says "Holy Shrek, I love shit!" before the video briefly cuts to static, then he corrects himself by saying "Holy shit, I love Shrek!" And since #10 is also a Shrek movie, he starts that number off with "Holy shit, Shrek Forever After is great!"
- He claims that The Curse of the Were-Rabbit is actually a prequel to Over the Hedge. Exhibit A is the scene where Victor observes a glass container of rabbits, but The Verminator's dialogue plays over it. Exhibit 2 is the scene where Gromit drives into a hedge. Exhibit Gamma is the scene where Victor is edited into saying "Get your hairy mitts off my waifu". He then sheepishly admits that the last exhibit doesn't actually mean anything in relation to Over the Hedge.
- The sheer Mood Whiplash at the end of the video, where he goes from quietly gushing about The Prince of Egypt to wildly praising what would be his #1 choice if it counted as a movie, The Madagascar Penguins in a Christmas Caper.
- With a animation studio as big and inconsistent as DreamWorks, you know these jingles will hit harder this time:
Every Pixar Movie Ranked
- Every Pixar Movie Ranked
- Yet again with the jingles:
- #22 and #21: "If you had to choose, If you had to choose! It's a tie".
- #20: "I'd like to thank everyone in Cartown for helping me get all the things I needed!"
- #19: "ONWARDS, AOSHIMA!"
- #18: "The Screenslaver interrupts this program for an important announcement."
- #17: "The thing with all of the monsters"!
- #16: "You're old..."
- #15: "Are there other bugs in your life?"
- #14: ♫ You've Got a Steve In Me ♫
- #13: ♫ Fish are dumb, dumb, dumb ♫
- #12: "Balloony just started floating away! I tried to reach out and grab him, but--" "BEWEGE DICH NICHT!"
- #11: "...now what?"
- #10: "What the fuck did you do to the mindscape?"
- #9: A segment of the song "I Can't Let You Throw Yourself Away".
- #8: "...good for your soul." (angelic choir)
- #7: The Living Tombstone's "Spooky Scary Skeletons" remix.
- #6: The opening to The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius.
- #5: "Andele", as used in Arrested Development.
- #4: ♫ Put That Thing Back Where It Came From, Or So Help Me ♫
- #3: The scene where Al says "No officer, I swear."
- #2: "OH SHIT! A RAT!"
- The last place pick is, predictably, Cars 2 which he ranks as worse than Turbo and Shrek the Third, and outright admits that he would rather rewatch Minions.Schaff: Imagine A Bug's Life, but Flik doesn't realize he hired circus bugs even after they tell him they're from the circus multiple times, and you basically have Cars 2.
- He concludes the entry by saying that, at the very least, it didn't ruin a franchise he was emotionally invested in.
- Numbers 22 and 21 are a tie between Brave and The Good Dinosaur (with Good Dinosaur being slightly better), due to both being equally disappointing but both having ups and downs that even each other out and both having insane levels of Troubled Production.Schaff: For example, Brave has...a story? You know, that's something you can't really say about Good Dinosaur! But on the other hand, Good Dinosaur doesn't have a completely unlikable obnoxious twat for our main protagonists.
The Angry Video Game Nerd: But that's not saying much!- During the same segment, Schaf mentions how he wished he was watching How to Train Your Dragon instead of Brave and declares that he should do just that the next time he does a Pixar marathon. He also gets the idea to do the same for Cars 2.Schaff: Hmm, a movie that's better than Cars 2... Welp, The Rise of Skywalker it is!
- During the same segment, Schaf mentions how he wished he was watching How to Train Your Dragon instead of Brave and declares that he should do just that the next time he does a Pixar marathon. He also gets the idea to do the same for Cars 2.
- When going over Cars, he mentions how Chick Hicks is basically just Randall Boggs without the wit or intimidation. He then immediately changes his mind and praises the hell out of Chick Hicks.
- When talking about Incredibles 2, there's a gag where Forky comes alive in front of Woody, but Forky is replaced with Jack-Jack firing lasers at Woody.
- Throughout the video, Schaff ends up making two references to Solo: one during the Brave/Good Dinosaur segment, and another comparing it to Monsters University.Schaff: Wow, that's two Solo: A Star Wars Story references in one video. What are the odds? This is the most I've thought about Solo all year.
- On the subject of Monsters University, he really doesn't take too kindly to the Abominable Snowman's retcon of having known Mike and Sulley during their mail work.
- On Cars 3:Schaff: Amazing how Pixar managed to get something of quality out of this franchise, and all they had to do was wrench it from John Lasseter's filthy, grimy paws.
- And then when briefly going over Jackson Storm, his description is that he's just a boring version of Chick Hicks.Schaff: You can't compete with "KA-CHIGGA!"
- And then when briefly going over Jackson Storm, his description is that he's just a boring version of Chick Hicks.
- Schaf calling the original Toy Story overrated and ranking it as the worst of the 4 movies gets us this:
- After talking about Finding Dory:
- The Squarespace ad gets one by having Schaf mention how Finding Nemo...has a net.Schaff: You know what else has a net? The internet! And you know what's on the internet? Websites! And you know where you can build a beautiful website? Squarespace!
- During the Inside Out segment, he starts with a massive rant towards people who love to demonize Joy because she was too controlling in the beginning, and how they seem to outright ignore her Character Development and that the whole point of her character arc is that she realizes she was wrong by acting that way.Schaff: There's a lot of things you could critique with Inside Out, but if you genuinely think Joy being this malicious antagonist is a valid criticism, then these children's films are probably a little too advanced for you.
- Yet again with the jingles:
Every 2000s Disney Movie Ranked
- Every 2000s Disney Movie Ranked
- Jingle time!
- #11:Harry Shearer: Up next... (shudders) Chicken Little.
(Harry facepalms while Turkey Lurkey's assistant pulls up a sign to weep hopelessly)
Turkey: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA– - #10: ''(muffled):'' "Bear!" "Hair?" "Bear!" "Dare?" "''Beeeaaar!''" "Oh!'' [[OhCrap BEEEAAAAR!"
- #9: "A cat is not... a dog."
- #8: A snippet of "Yodel Odel Obey Me" from Phineas and Ferb.
- #7: ♫ THE DUTCHMAN'S TREASUUUUUUUUURE ♫
- #6: "Do you have Froggy?! Do you have Froggy?! Froggy, are you in this man's crotch?!"
- #5: "In the future, entertainment will be randomly generated!"
- #4: "Ain't Sephiroth the one who's supposed to be the dark part of Cloud's heart?".
- #3: "Oh yeah. It's all coming together."
- #2: "Ohh! You sunk it!"
- #11:
- After utterly tearing Dinosaur apart for being the most boring movie he has ever seen in his entire life, he finishes it off with this asteroid:Schaffrillas: The only times I felt anything throughout this entire experience was whenever the Love Monkey opened his mouth. I felt an overwhelming urge to strangle him.
- While Schaffrillas is talking about The Princess and the Frog, he questions what Tiana did to deserve turning into a frog. He has an extremely hard time saying the line. From what we can see of the take number when he finally gets it right, he took at least 20,712 tries to get that line right.Schaffrillas: What the FU(Windows XP error sound) did TIANA do to deserve turning into a frog?!
- In the same segment, while listing some of his other minor thoughts on the movie:Schaffrillas: Lawrence was dummy thicc, so he gets a pass.
- Jingle time!
Every Studio Ghibli Movie Ranked
- Every Studio Ghibli Movie Ranked
- Time for some more jingles!
- #22: "Back to formula?"
- #21: The voice crack version of "Ocean Man" by Ween.
- #20: "Aw, everyone's gonna hate me!"
- #19: Sound effects of Tanooki Mario from Mario Kart 8
- #18: A segment from the song "Chant" from Hadestown.
- #17: The Mister Rogers' Neighborhood theme song.
- #16: "Attention little people!"
- #15: "A cat is not... a dog."
- #14: A lower-pitched and garbbled version of the English-language version of the main song.
- #13: Another segment from the song "Chant" from Hadestown.
- #12: Starts with "Castle on a Cloud" from Les Misérables, which cuts to "Spirit in the Sky" by Norman Greenbaum to make the title of the film.
- #11: "MR. PIG!"
- #10: "I'm Briggs Hatton, and I wrote the Community Season 6 incest episode."
- #9: A faintly heard and deepened version of the theme song.
- #8: "Let's go! Let's go, lesbians, let's go!"
- #7: The "Collectable Item Get!" jingle from The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild.
- #6: "Oh, that's sad. That's the saddest thing I ever heard."
- #5: A slowed down version of "Yesterday" by The Beatles.
- #4: "We don't deliver, but you do!"
- #3: "Woah, didn't see that coming."
- #2: A piano version of the main theme.
- At the start of the segment for Tales from Earthsea, he calls it "astonishingly bad" while displaying its poster next to one for Ralph Breaks the Internet with an equal sign between them.
- He makes a note on the most well known aspect of #19:Schaffrillas: Pom Poko isn't nearly as weird as most people were telling me going in. Just because these raccoons magically inflate their ballsacks and use them to beat people to death doesn't mean this is a weird movie.
- During the segment on Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea, he mentions what an irresponsible driver Lisa is and how she's lucky she and her son survived. Similarly, he wonders how many innocent people died in the ending dogfight in Porco Rosso.
- Him trying really hard to not talk about the plot of From Up on Poppy Hill, and instead telling the audience to talk about the fact that the film has characters named Sora and Riku.
- At the end of the segment, he compares Goro Miyazaki's career to the plot of Chicken Little.Schaffrillas: Oh well, maybe he and his father can reconcile and beat all the aliens together in the final act, who knows.
- At the end of the segment, he compares Goro Miyazaki's career to the plot of Chicken Little.
- Time for some more jingles!
Every Sony Animation Movie Ranked
- Every Sony Animation Movie Ranked
- The description:Schaff watches every Sony Animation movie which is a terrible terrible mistake please do not do this
- Jingle time again!
- #26: He once again uses the "Disappointment in the Game of Life!" jingle. This time, however, he uses it three more times, for #25, 24/23, and 22, each more deep and distorted than the last.
- #21: "ENDLESS TRASH!" (It never ends!)
- #20: "Since we're here, let's ask the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for help. Would you please help us, Jesus Christ!"
- #19: "I must get my hands on those healthy purple berries!"
- #18: "Why hello there, old sport. Go to the funk."
- #17: "To the wild!" "The wild? Whoah!"
- #16: "You play as Dracula! Explore over 3 levels!''
- #15: The intro of "Spooky Scary Skeletons".
- #14: A snippet from "Vampire" by The Orion Experience
- #13: "Let's Roll! Bye Felicia!"
- #12: "Aladdin!" "How the fuck did you know it was me?" "Because it is you, you're just wearing different clothes."
- #11: "See a need, fill a need!"
- #10: "Bunger! Bunger!"
- #9: "Pardon me, are you Aaron BRAP, sir?"
- #8: "Boo! Haunted house."
- #7: "Hey, you guys are watching Bird Up!, the worst show on television."
- #6: "Surfin on this sand here, surfin in a circle."
- #5: "I'm Blindbeard the Pirate!"
- #4: "You tell Arthur Read he'll never eat lunch in this town again!"
- #3: "Arbys. We have the MEATS."
- #2: "THIS IS A ROBOT RIOT!"
- #1: Over his usual The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask jingle, he overlays "Well, I knew this was coming!"
- "Spider-Verse is number one. You knew that before you clicked on the video."
- Schaffrillas gets so furious when verbally annihilating Surf's Up 2 that the video briefly cuts out due to technical difficulties. He goes on to say that it makes Cars 2 look like The Empire Strikes Back and Earwig and the Witch look like Citizen Kane. He then takes it even further by calling Dear Evan Hansen a much better movie, and says that he has never hated a product this much since Artemis Fowl, a film that he’s stated is his least favorite movie of all time.Schaffrillas: I could tell 5 minutes into this ad that it was one of the worst things I’ve ever seen.
- His final words on Open Season 3:Schaffrillas: Sony really just shat this out and then abandoned it on the woods and you should do that too: take your copy of Open Season 3 and chuck it into the woods somewhere. I'm kidding obviously, that's littering and you shouldn't do that, what you should do is PURCHASE A STEAMROLLER AND RUN OVER YOUR COPY OF OPEN S-
- He starts #20 by giving us a quick thought experiment (and a good Take That! towards DreamWorks detractors) about, if The Prince of Egypt didn’t exist, what we would think a DreamWorks Animation movie about the biblical story of Moses would be like:Schaffrillas: Probably something terrible, right? Something with awful 3D animation, something that doesn’t take the story seriously at all, loaded with extremely lame comic relief delivered by a plethora of overpaid celebrities… Well unfortunately, DreamWorks didn’t do that, they had to go ahead and make some big epic masterpiece instead. Now SONY ON THE OTHER HAND they went ahead and made the exact movie you just imagined.
- When depicting the hypothetical biblical Dreamworks movie, the overpaid celebrity is Chris Pratt cast as Moses.
- In the same segment, Schaff expresses his confusion over the movie's ridiculous premise:Schaffrillas: I genuinely want to know why the people who made this movie thought a donkey and his annoying bird friend were more interesting protagonists than the parents of Jesus Christ. Like, Jesus Christ, that's Jesus Christ.
- He also notes that Jesus in this movie looks like The Boss Baby.The Boss Baby: Yes. I'm the baby Jesus.
- He closes #14 by mixing the famous Dracula rapping scene with "If I can prove that I never touched my balls...".
- He starts his review of Peter Rabbit by talking about it like Thomas is the protagonist and Peter is the hateable villain, and even refers to the latter as "downright terrorist".
- When reviewing #5 he says that Charles Darwin in that film is the biggest incel he's ever seen in an children's movie.
- "Arthur Christmas is the only kids' movie I've ever seen that references the Cuban Missile Crisis, and that's how you know it's good."
- The description: