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    Season 1 

  • Near the beginning of the first episode, as Johnny's driving to work, he spots a pretty blonde doing leg stretches on the sidewalk. He pulls over and tries to look cool, only to be dismissed with a contemptuous glance and an uttered 'creep'. Among everything else, it's just one more example of how far Johnny has fallen from his jerk jock days.
    Johnny: [pulls over, lifts his shades to his forehead, smiles at her] Hey.
    Blonde young woman: [glances up, looks at him with contempt, starts jogging] Creep.
  • "No, no, no, no, I didn't call her a bitch. I said she was bitching at me, there's a difference! ...You're firing me because of that bitch? You know what, I hated this damn job anyway."
  • The LaRusso Auto Group commercial and Johnny's reaction to it.
  • When Johnny is recounting the events of The Karate Kid to Miguel and gets to the bit where Mr. Miyagi took down the Cobras himself.
    Johnny: I think my buddy Tommy got brain damage because of that fight.
  • Bert's Blatant Lies about what he was doing at the convenience store when he discovers a drunk Johnny. Bonus points for Bert not being disturbed at the sight of Johnny having a drunken meltdown and pissing on his own car, simply because the kid has seen his sensei intoxicated on so many other occasions.
  • The mood whiplash when the yoga class takes over the Cobra Kai dojo is quite something.
    Yoga Instructor: We need to change the energy in here.
  • Eli's saying he might be on the (autism) spectrum, and Johnny's response.
    Johnny: I don't know what that is, but get off it, pronto.
  • During the tournament when Hawk wins a match and starts making his tattoo dance in celebration:
    Moon: Damn, he is so hot!
    Demetri: I cannot believe this actually works.
  • When Yasmine and her posse reach the canyon where she's planning to have her party, she orders Kyler to order "those losers" out. But then he notices that Miguel and his lot are front and center, and... he suggests they go elsewhere. Everyone but Moon rallies behind him, suggesting that despite his jerkassery, Kyler holds more clout in the group than Yasmine does.
  • "NO MERCY, BITCH!" Aisha even lifts Yasmine a few inches into the air, by her panties, in the process. Bonus points for watching Yasmine hobble away like she'd gotten a Shot in the Ass.
  • Johnny giving a Rousing Speech to his students before their junkyard training:
    Johnny: Are you losers?!
    Cobra Kai: NO SENSEI!
    Johnny: Are you nerds?!
    Cobra Kai: NO SENSEI!
    Johnny: Are you sure?!
    Cobra Kai: NO SENSEI!
    Johnny: [facepalms in frustration]
  • Johnny has a few funny quips during the Training from Hell in the Junk Yard.
    Johnny: There is nothing to fear except for fear itself, and not falling into a bunch of sharp metal and broken glass, so don't do that!
  • The first look at the defaced billboard, with a giant dick spray-painted in Daniel's mouth. Yes, it's the most childish, stupid, Toilet Humor move Johnny could have made, but admit it — you laughed.
    • The dialog between Daniel and Amanda in the following scene is gold, too.
      Amanda: I understand that you're frustrated, but try not to think about it. Think positively!
      Daniel: Positive?! What — what's positive?! I have a dick in my mouth!
      Amanda: Yeah! And you'll blow the competition away! (laughs) No one's even going to see it.
      Daniel: We picked that specific location because of the traffic level!
      Amanda: Okay, fine, fine! Let's assume people see it. Let's assume everybody sees it!
      Daniel: (defeated) Okay.
      Amanda: No one's going to recognize you!
      Daniel: Really.
      Amanda: All they're going to see is the dick. Okay, it is the dick's billboard now! People drive by so fast, they're not even going to spot you.
      Louie: (in the distance) Did you guys see the billboard? It's freaking hilarious!
      Daniel: (to Amanda) We're painting over it.
      Amanda: (quietly) That's a good idea.
    • LaRusso Auto Group later receives a lunch order of 100 sausages from Tom Cole, Daniel's biggest competitor, just to rub his nose in it; when Amanda reads the order specification that Daniel likes his sausages long and thick, the delivery guy can be seen chuckling in the background, clearly knowing that it's a prank. It's also revealed that Johnny possibly hid dog crap up there, too, in case anybody came by to clean the billboard up.
    • No, it's neither hidden nor crap from a dog. Johnny dropped his pants and did his business there just to be an asshole.
  • The health inspector looks at Miguel and asks if he's a customer. Johnny's response: "No, he's an illegal I picked up this morning, I brought him in to help out." The inspector lets the issue go without further comment!
  • At first, Cobra Kai takes an "if you build it, they will come" approach to advertising. No takers. Then we come to the lunchroom episode, where Miguel neatly mashes Kyler and his posse... and the Curb-Stomp Battle goes viral. That one act singlehandedly turns Cobra Kai's fortunes around.
  • When it comes to attitude, Johnny can give as good as he gets:
    Johnny: Guess you couldn't hear me over that garbage you've got playing on your boombox!
    Cruz: [derisively] What the hell's a 'boombox'?
    Johnny: What the hell's that thing on your face?
    Cruz: [sheepishly] ...It's a mustache.
    • Next time we see him, Cruz has shaven off the 'stache.
  • When Shannon's date starts butting into their argument, Johnny gets him to back off by matter-of-factly saying "Word of advice: She won't go down on you unless you buy her dessert."
  • When Johnny and Daniel are about to come to blows at Daniel's house, Daniel's wife comes out and embarrasses two men in their 50s into pausing their teen-angst rivalry long enough for breakfast.
    Daniel: [fists still clenched] Wanna come in?
    Johnny: [fists still clenched] I could eat.
  • Xander Stone, the tournament champion from the previous year, is a Nice Guy who gives a speech preaching love and tolerance for all people, and even when Miguel defeats him, there is mutual respect between the two. Xander's mother, on the other hand, looks (and acts) like a rabid football fan — she screams her head off during the matches, shouts at Xander to "PUNCH EM IN THE FACE!!", and protests "BULLSHIT!" at the top of her lungs when he loses.
    • Johnny and Miguel's reaction to Xander's sickeningly-sweet speech about peace and tolerance.
      Johnny: Kick that pansy bitch in the face.
      Miguel: [smiling] Yes, sensei.
  • Hawk and Robby have scored one point each at the All Valley championships. Hawk tries a Badass Boast, while Robby calls him on his Testosterone Poisoning act.
    Hawk: That was a lucky point. It's gonna be your last.
    Robby: Why? Leaving early to fix that stupid haircut?
  • Amanda berating Anthony to stop drinking the butter.
  • When Daniel finally finds a new student in Robby, he's quick to pull out Miyagi's hard work training. Not only does he tell him how to wax the cars, he also tells him how to wash the windows, sweep the floor, lift the car, and even how to staple the files.
    • The culmination is great as well. Just like in the original Karate Kid, Robby accuses Daniel of not teaching him anything, and that he's just using him as cheap labor before storming off. Daniel turns to Amanda with a giant grin...
      Daniel: This is my favorite part!
  • Daniel preparing to use Miyagi's Healing Hands, complete with mystical sting and then... "Can we get a medic?!"
  • Pretty much everything Rosa says.
  • Hawk manages to buy alcohol with a fake ID that says that he's 25. The best part? His chosen name is Walter Hawkman.
  • Johnny having dinner with Miguel's family. "I really liked the, uh, bananas." "Actually they're plantains." "Ah. But in this country... we call them bananas."
  • Both Daniel and Johnny get a good crane kick in the noggin with Parental Substitute issues. They manage to do much better with their flagship pupils than with their own sons!
  • In the second episode, after Daniel has thrown Sam's pool party "guests" out, the very fat Brucks in a swimsuit — who had missed Daniel's arrival — comes out of their bathroom, recognizes Daniel as "that banzai guy on those commercials", and then notices everyone else's gone. Daniel and Amanda's expression during the whole thing are priceless.
  • At the start of "Esqueleto", Miguel is in his room practicing karate and making a lot of grunting noises. When his grandmother calls him for dinner, he replies he's "almost finished". She concludes he's been masturbating... and later believes he injured his hand in the process.
    Made even funnier when she comments "You don't want to know" when Carmen asks what happened to his hand, and Miguel gives her a look.
  • Amanda is talking to Daniel about what Louie is doing, but he's busy looking at Kyler due to what Johnny told him about him, so she gets his attention in an "unusual" way:
    Amanda: You know, Louie opened an underground casino in the break room.
    Daniel: Yeah. [beat] Wait, what?
  • Brucks correcting Kyler on his grammar while they're bullying Eli.
  • Aisha joining Cobra Kai is amusing:
  • Johnny's reaction to finding out most of his students are "flinchers": have Aisha punch every single one of them in the face. There's even a This Is Gonna Suck look... from Aisha, that is.
    • After that order, Johnny goes to his office and Miguel comes to ask for dating advice... while we hear punching noises and pained grunts in the background. At the end, Hawk falls in the office after getting punched. But they don't have to worry, he lost only the one tooth...
  • Johnny dealing with the Cobra Kai being banned from the All Valley Under 18 Karate Tournament:
    • While Johnny is trying to enroll the dojo by phone, Miguel is in the main room, asking for advice for his not-date with Sam, and then the shout is heard:
      "BANNED?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN BANNED! [...] I'LL BAN YOU!
    • Miguel encourages Johnny to fight the ban. He then has to convince Johnny to not physically assault the entire tournament board.
    • Before Johnny goes to the meeting, Miguel compliments his case and asks what he has in it. It's empty, as he found it in the dumpster, and he's carrying it just for looks.
    • When Johnny arrives at the meeting, the board first thinks he's there for the meeting of the group after them, and then they reassure him that they changed the corn dog vendor.
    • The board's puzzled reaction when they learn about the ban ("Did we ban someone? We can ban people?"), as with one exception they weren't around for the events that got Cobra Kai banned, and Johnny's This Is Gonna Suck face when the one exception is a late arriving Daniel.
    • After Johnny's heartfelt speech about what he's done with Cobra Kai and what it's done for him, between the positive comments on his character, one of the committee members brings up another point in his favor:
      "Badass name for a dojo, by the way." [Johnny does a fistpump in reply.]
  • Anthony boasting about Daniel's Karate prowess is usually worth a chuckle, but the time he tried it with Johnny was way more than that.
  • The All Valley Under 18 Karate Tournament has its moments:
    • Carmen is worried for Miguel but Rosa is perfectly calm because she knows whatever happens, Miguel will learn from it... and because she just smoked a joint.
    • Daniel's face when he realizes Miguel is about to use the Crane Kick.
    • Moon enjoying Hawk's celebration for his first victory, complete with Demetri's shock.
    • The Cobra Kai cheering on Bert and reminding him to have no mercy... just as he's getting curbstomped by an opponent who is literally doing flips over him.
    • Demetri's reason for wanting to rejoin Cobra Kai:
      "I'm still not into the idea of getting hit in the face and all, but I respect the safety-in-numbers aspect of joining a gang!"

    Season 2 
  • A bunch of new students arrive at Cobra Kai wanting to sign up, but Johnny announces that the dojo will be shut to all new students that day:
    "Let's go, move it. Come back tomorrow… and bring your checkbooks!"
  • A customer asks Johnny on the phone (after Johnny says the classes are open to both males and females) whether the classes allow genderfluid students. Johnny is completely dumbfounded and asks the customer whether this is a prank call.
    "Gender what? Hey, is this a prank call?"
  • Practically any scene with Johnny trying to get in touch with today's modern tech. His first purchase and use of a laptop, in particular, just shows how far behind he is in almost anything electronic.
    • The montage of him exploring the internet for the first time includes highlights such as him discovering online porn, reading trivia about his favorite movies (and being distraught at Jean-Claude Van Damme being nominated for a Razzie for Bloodsport), and falling for a fake news article "proving" that dinosaurs built the pyramids.
      Johnny: I knew it.
    • Just the implication that at some point, Johnny Lawrence suspected the dinosaurs were responsible for building the pyramids.
    • Even funnier? He's using Windows XP.
  • In the same episode as the above example, Daniel makes an ad for Miyagi-Do's dojo. The reception went as well as you could expect in a heavily Asian-themed video about karate in 2019:
    Anoush: Oh, and for the record, I do not think you're guilty of cultural appropriation.
    Daniel: Cultural what? What are you even talking about? (After reading the comments) "Asian whitewashing"? They're calling me "Daniel LaRacist" on here!
  • Episode 5 starts off with Demetri practicing Wax On, Wax Off with Daniel. He quickly realizes that Daniel's trying to teach muscle memory, but that doesn't stop him from complaining the entire time. He asks for a paint roller instead of a brush for the fence, and gets a splinter while sanding the floors.
  • In episode 5, Miguel makes a cheesy video for Sam in an attempt to reconcile with her. Even though he asks Tory not to laugh when showing it to her, admit it: you laughed.
    Tory: I think... you should delete that. Put it in trash, empty the bin and have your laptop cremated.
  • In episode 6, when Johnny and the original Cobra Kai gang decide to play some pool at the bar, they immediately spot a jerkass sexually harassing a server. The viewer would be forgiven for hoping that the jerkass is stupid enough to pick a fight with the Cobra Kai gang so that they can teach him some manners... and he doesn't disappoint.
    Jerkass: (belligerently) Something I can help you with, boss?
    Johnny: Yeah, we got next.
    Jerkass: (referring to Tommy) That is the ugliest Make A Wish kid I have ever seen. I'll tell you what, here's MY wish: you could suck my di(cue Johnny ripping out his ear gauge)
    • In the same scene, Jimmy decks one of the asshole's friends, then stares at his hands with a look of complete shock, as if wondering where that came from. And then he takes a chair to the back of Bobby's opponent when Bobby can't clear him.
    • And finally, the server, seeing Johnny being pinned at the edge of the counter by her harasser, sends a glass mug sliding down his way to take the jerkass down once and for all.
  • At Moon's party, Hawk decides to spite her by flirting with another pretty girl in front of her. But this backfires on him spectacularly when the girl turns out to be Moon's new girlfriend.
  • Johnny's attempts to use a dating app? Funny. The app setting Johnny up with the "bitch" who got him fired at the start of the whole series? Priceless.
    • The dating app also sets Johnny up with a woman who makes it clear up front that she's passionate about environmentalist and feminist issues. Johnny clearly doesn't understand a word she's saying.
      Woman: I try to stay active in a variety of organizations. We combat all institutions of oppression — runaway capitalism, climate change denial, patriarchy. You know, the problem is a lot of these issues are becoming systemic.
      Johnny: Oh, yeah, totally systemic. I hate the Patriots, too.
      (The woman has a "wait, WHAT?" expression.)
      Johnny: Listen, what do you say we quit the chitchat, hop in my Challenger, teach you how to drive a stick? If you know what I mean.
      (The woman gives Johnny a Kubrick Stare.)
  • When Johnny has Miguel lead the warm-up exercises, Miguel has the whole class dab.
    • Bonus point for doing it in front of Kreese, embarrassing Johnny in the process. The look the two exchanged was priceless-and that was before the entire class started goofing off.
    • Johnny's punishment-Training from Hell by mixing so much cement they start fearing it.
  • Johnny's over the top, '80's romantic fantasy/erotic dream/hair metal video regarding Carmen, Miguel's mom. It's as endearing that he fell completely for her, as it is hilarious to see how his mind works at times.
  • Johnny's date with Carmen at a Mexican restaurant turning into a double date with Daniel and Amanda when they just happened to be on their date at the same restaurant and the only table available is next to Johnny and Carmen.
    • Johnny and Daniel's reaction to seeing each other again. Before that, Carmen mentions that she can't keep up with all the drama Miguel is going through and Johnny was about to say when you're a teenager it's hard to avoid a little drama, cue the LaRussos:
      Johnny: Oh, come on.
      Daniel: You got to be kidding me.
    • When the waitress asks if they both know each other, Amanda casually tells the waitress, "Oh, they have warring karate dojos".
    • Johnny and Daniel indirectly bragging to each other about their dojo by talking out loud to their respective dates.
    • While Amanda and Carmen are chatting, Johnny and Daniel are shooting Death Glares at each other while holding up their menu.
    • Just the fact that even when they're both on dates with very attractive women, it takes all of three seconds for Johnny and Daniel to forget about romance and start a pissing contest with each other.
  • Johnny trying to bond with Robby by talking about Trapper Keepers.
    The one with the fighter jet was awesome!
  • The final brawl was an utter madhouse with terrible consequences for both sides, but the combatants still found time for some great one-liners:
    • After Miguel headbutts Robby:
      Miguel: Like that move? I learned it from your dad!
    • When Bert confronts Nathaniel, who is just as small, bespectacled, and dorky as he is:
      • Bert and Nathaniel are easily broken up by the security guard, and still try to attack each other even as the guard is effortlessly dragging them both away.
    • Chris is knocked down by his former friend Mitch:
      Mitch: Should have stayed with Cobra Kai. You could have been a badass.
    • And of course Moon's half-assed and utterly futile attempt at a Battle-Interrupting Shout.
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