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Les 2 Minutes du Peuple ("The 2 Minutes of the People") is a series of comedic radio skits by Quebecois humorist François Pérusse. Its Quebec French version debuted on radio in 1990, and its French version in 1996. In Europe they ended in 2012, while in Québec they "ended" in 2016, only to be followed by a virtually identical Spiritual Successor called "Pérusse Express" (which slightly focuses more on news both local and worldwide).

Each skit is about two-minutes long, and tackles subjects such as everyday situations, the life of historical characters, current events, and parodies of TV shows, game shows, songs, and celebrities. The series dialogue is a never-ending Hurricane of Puns mixed with some Surreal Humor, and is most remembered for its sped-up high-pitched voices, which enforced its Rapid-Fire Comedy.

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Pérusse has also produced several albums called "L'Album du Peuple" ("The People's Album"). They're a compilation of various radio sketches remixed by the author, sometimes they're slightly longer, shorter, or different. The albums also contain funny songs.


The albums:

  • 1991 - L'Album du Peuple - Tome 1
  • 1992 - L'Album du Peuple - Tome 2
  • 1994 - L'Album du Peuple - Tome 3
  • 1995 - L'Album du Peuple - Tome 4
  • 1996 - L'Album du Peuple - Tome 5
  • 1997 - L'Album du Peuple (Made for France) - Tome 1
  • 2002 - L'Album Pirate note 
  • 2002 - L'Album du Peuple (Made for France) - Tome 2
  • 2003 - L'Album du Peuple - Tome 6
  • 2007 - L'Album du Peuple - Tome 7
  • 2011 - L'Album du Peuple - Tome 8
  • 2013 - L'Album du Peuple - Tome 9
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  • 2015 - L'Album du Peuple - Tome 10
  • 2017 - Best Ove! note .

The series has received numerous awards, and has become a staple of Francophone culture. It has notably been parodied or referenced by numerous Audio Plays.


Les Deux Minutes provides examples of:

  • Accidental Truth: In one of the "Columbo du Peuple" segments, the killer lures his friend to murder him in a nearby street by suggesting they might find "a fuschia camel playing accordion". Later, when he gets arrested, Columbo reveals to him they found the body because their attention was caught by exactly this.
  • Ambiguously Human / Ambiguous Robot: Spock is turned into this in the Star Trek parodies. In some sketches he's said to be Vulcan, in others he's apparently an android.
  • Arbitrarily Large Bank Account: The "gars qui magasine" ("Guy who shops") sketches normally feature an average guy with average means trying to find good prices to buy everyday goods and services, however in some sketches he apparently has enough money to buy a Boeing 747 or even the planet Mars. Rule of Funny is in full effect.
  • Arbitrary Skepticism: The male protagonist in the "Slangster House" segments regularly insists the house isn't actually haunted through the earlier segments, even though at this point he has seen undead coming several times to his house.
  • Artificial Limbs: One guy who got his legs bitten off by a literal Mama Bear asks General Electric to make him prosthetic limbs. Since he only has 1000$ to spare the only thing he can buy is two refrigerators, so they graft them to him. Right after that the guy falls down a flight of stairs and fractures his two crispers drawers.
  • Artistic License – History: One long-dead Pharaoh Mummy is interviewed about Ancient Egypt, specifically the construction of the Pyramids. The interviewer asks questions about Cleopatra, nevermind the Pyramids were 2000 years old by the time Cleopatra came around. It does make for nice puns though.
  • Artistic License – Law: In the 5th Album du Peuple Pérusse ends up in jail for failing to produce an album for his record label. Breach of contract is a civil offense, not a criminal one, so he wouldn't go to jail for it.
  • Artistic License – Military: The sketch set in a military submarine is referred to by Pérusse as being in the Army and not the Navy.
  • Ass Shove: One Blues singer featured on a "radio communautaire" English  is dying of some weird illness and had an harmonica installed in his ass so he can keep playing since he can't play normally anymore.
    • In one Columbo du Peuple episode, the one where the guy disguises his dead wife as a phone, it's Implied the murderer plugs in the phone line in her ass, judging by the fart noise heard.
    • A radio ad for a bakery, "The Bakery Behind My House", is about visiting an old lady's house so she puts pastries in your behi-.
    • Another ad for a lousy kindergarten brags that their staff watch TV while your toddlers shove crayons up their asses.
    • There's an interview where Jean Chrétien (the former Prime Minister of Québec) is on TV and (eventually) gets into a brawl with the host and somehow attempts to fight by shoving his fingers in the other guy's ass.
  • Author Appeal: Pérusse puts in a lots of references to things he like in his sketches, like hockey, the music industry, Star Trek, the Beatles, the Rolling Stones...
    • He was fascinated by advertising from a young age, and would make parody ads for fun when he was little. One of his first claim to fame was doing advertisement for an album by a Québec singer, and several of his sketches feature joke advertisements. With his fame from the Deux Minutes du Peuple he's been hired by real companies to make real advertisements.
  • Auto-Doc: A Québec sketch features a guy getting a rectum exam from one of them, everything is fine at first until the Autodoc goes haywire and gives him several more.
    • A French sketch has a prototype machine made to simulate a real doctor: the machine just tells you to take some pills and leave it alone so it can play golf.
  • Awful Wedded Life: A common motive for murder among the killers in "Columbo du Peuple" is that their wives are absolutely awful people.
  • Back from the Dead: There are sketches where a famous historical figure like Louis XIV, Thomas Edison or Ludwig van Beethoven come back to life and try to convince a modern day person to hire them or buy their products, or in the case of Louis XIV, convince the French government to let him reign as a monarch again.
  • Bad Boss: Master Charbonneau, a bandmaster and one-shot character, learned that one of his violonists slept with his wife so he destroys the guy's violin and fires him on the spot.
  • Bears Are Bad News: A TV show host interviews a guy who had his legs bitten off by a Mama Bear after he tried to wipe her cub with a paper towel.
  • Bestiality Is Depraved: The European sketches had hospital-themed episodes featuring a certain Doctor Malcolm. In one of them there was a patient who needed to give a sperm sample. Doctor Malcolm gave him a porn magazine to help him, but it turns out he accidentally gave him a magazine about the life of insects. The doctor apologizes, but the patient says it's alright because there was a really pretty looking dragonfly on one of the pages so he managed to make it work.
  • "Blind Idiot" Translation: Invoked. A lot of times English sentences are poorly translated in Québec French for comedic/punny effect.
  • Blood on the Debate Floor: While there's no physical violence, the sketches set in the Canadian parliament or the Québec parliament always feature MPs yelling or insulting each other.
  • Body Horror: Played for Laughs in the "radio communautaire" sketches, where the incompetent host presents musicians who suffered some outlandish absurd accidents that damaged their bodies. Examples include Tata Boutlamine, an African pianist who plays with only one finger following a coffee grinder accident, Half-a-Papa-Joe, a blues singer who sawed himself in half vertically in a sawmill accident and now can only sings half of his lyrics and Adélbert Gadbois, who sings without a jaw after he confused a power saw with a toothbrush.
    • Back when he was alive, Michael Jackson was the butt of jokes where he falls apart.
    • Captain Kirk suffers a Teleporter Accident in a Star Trek parody. He's apparently been inverted and he can only mumbles, but McCoy advises him not too out of fear he'll damage his boots trying to speak. Spock jokes that he's not Captain Kirk anymore but Kirkptain Ki.
    • One episode of a talk show features the story of a woman who suffered various infortunate accidents and eventually had her nervous system amputated, and even her intuition had to be amputated at some point.
    • In Tome 5 there are baseball commentators who wish good luck to the cousin of one player who's about to have his rib cage surgically removed. There's also a mention of a player's grandmother having a rare disease called a "cistite" where you burp, fart and shit by both end.
  • (French) Canadian Equals Hockey Fan: François Pérusse is a big hockey fan, and hockey is a recurring theme in many of his sketches.
  • Build Like an Egyptian: A Mummy of a long-dead Pharaoh is interviewed about the construction of the Pyramids of Ancient Egypt, specifically knowing if the Pyramids were built in corruption note .
  • Censored for Comedy: In "Chanson grivoise" ("Lewd Song"), a Georges Brassens Expy sings about a man watching a porno, with bleeped out (rhyming) offending words with increasingly ridiculous sound effects. In the second part, the sound guy screws up and censors everything but the dirty words.
  • Comically Missing the Point: In a "Columbo du Peuple" segment, a man announces his wife that he now hates her, and, among other, cannot stand how she constantly sings in the bathroom:
    Wife: Could you possibly love another one?
    Husband: No, even in another bathroom, that wouldn't change anything!
  • Dead Air: Louis-Paul Fafard-Allard, the animator of the community radio station CDKC note  is really bad at his job.
  • Death Course: Exaggerated for comedy in the "film d'action" segment, where the hero is asked to stop a madman from blowing up the planet. In order to reach said villain, he has to first swim naked in a dangerously swirly torrent filled with sharks, then go hanged to a helicopter by one hair with only a small stick as his weapon to wander in a radioactive field filled with T-Rex and terrorists armed with machine guns until he reaches a fortified strongbox requiring a ridiculously complicated code and disarms an atomic bomb about to blow up in 10 seconds, which he can only stop by cutting one of the 450 multi-colored wires.
  • Dracula: One 2012 sketch had him call the Election Directors to get on Québec's electoral list.
  • Dreadful Musician: A common source of humor, especially in the "community radio" sketches. Pérusse is a big fan of music and has background as a musician and Word of God is that a lot of it is inspired by his younger days when he was much less competent.
    • A recurring character is the unnamed bar/lounge singer who plays in crummy loser establishments.
  • Drill Sergeant Nasty: Bob Hartley (yes, a real life person) is the coach variant. Not content with coaching hockey teams, he coaches all kinds of people, like (now retired) Montreal mayor Gérald Tremblay, the Parti libéral du Québec, the Liberal Party of Canada, and he even takes odd jobs that let him scream at people, like drive-thru clerk, phone hold voice actor or GPS voice actor.
  • Driven to Suicide: Always Played for Laughs, including over the silliest things like losing a Monopoly game.
  • Eagleland: Virtually always a type 2 whenever they show up, especially during the Bush and Trump administrations. Though to be fair Pérusse loves throwing Take Thats at pretty much everyone.
  • Easy Evangelism: Exaggerated in one of the European police sketches where the criminal is a cult leader who calls the police department and manages to convert the cops in a few words.
  • Everything Is an Instrument: A lot of the musicians that are featured on the "radio communautaire" sketches play absurd instruments. One of them plays a drying machine (he literally just bangs on his machine, it's as bad as it sounds), another just hums songs through his nose on some street corner.
  • Every Man Has His Price: An advertising agent initially refuses to do an advertising campaign for a weapons company out of principles, but quickly changes his tune when the company executive offers him a 3 million dollars bribe.
  • Everything Talks: Well not everything, but a lot of things talk.
    • The "Apicerie" Explanation  is a show about grocery shopping and frequently interviews food like asparagi, hot-dog sausages and a palm tree (for its "heart of palm").
    • "Rénovons avec Gaetan", a renovation show, often showcase talking tools as a Running Gag, like a beam detector or a talking saw (which screams "yumyumyum cherry wood that's so good yumyum" when they make it cut cherry wood and also warns "careful about your fingers!" whenever your fingers get too close for safety.
  • Evil Debt Collector: There is this false advertisement for a debt consolidation society where an actor describes their service as "instead of several companies calling you about your debts it's just one company that calls more often and starts their sentences with "listen well asshole"".
  • Evil Laugh: Parodied in one of the "Série Policière" sketch, where the police chief gets a call from a terrorist who keeps punctuating each of his lines by a sardonic laugh. Turns out he is just standing next to a friend who keeps telling him jokes while he's on the phone, prompting him to laugh.
  • Exactly What I Meant To Say: When his boat is leaving, Cartier orders to "crap off", prompting one of the crewmembers to try to correct him by saying it's "cast off". Turns out he really did mean that- he was ordering the toilets' evacuation.
  • Exactly What It Says on the Tin: "Chanson fausse" ("Out of Tune Song") consists in a song performed out of tune with tone deaf singing and random silly lyrics.
  • Exact Words: In the "film d'action" segment, the villain shows a map to the protagonists, then gloats that in three seconds, Australia won't be on it anymore. Three seconds later, he rips the part of the map showing Australia.
    • There's this guy who's convinced that his wife is cheating on him. "There's somebody behind this" he says out loud before going to pick up the phonebook for a Private Detective's phone number. It turns out there's really someone hiding behind the phonebook who says hi in a ridiculous high-pitched voice.
  • Eye Scream: A documentary about the village of "Apaquifuts" in "Padladejistan" (a weird mix of Qurac and Ruritania) has a woman pull out a chicken's eye to make a "chicken eye soup" (It's a pun that's too complicated to translate).
  • Fallen-on-Hard-Times Job: A recurring theme in some of the more recent sketches is the Has-Been artist reduced to doing lame commercials because his albums don't sell anymore.
  • False Reassurance: In the second "Slangster House" segment, the couple meet with a blind old man and ask him if the story about someone hanging herself in the house is true. The old blind man assures them these are "Grandma's stories"... which he means literally; his grandmother was the one who hanged herself.
  • The Gambling Addict: Around 2007 Pérusse made a lot of fake public service announcements parodying real ones by the government of Québec that address gambling problems.
  • Government Agency of Fiction: Whenever a government ministry is mentioned, it's usually a mix of normal ministerial stuff like "environment" or "tourism" mixed with something absurd like "motel that went bankrupt 5 years ago". Sometimes it's just the absurd stuff. For instance, a fake Public Service Announcement against texting and driving is a message of the Ministry of Poof Right in the Phone Pole.
    • A meeting of the Liberal Party of Québec involves various ministers getting in trouble like the Minister of Natural Resources, Boring Rocks and Dandelion Fluff or the Minister of Agriculture, Education, Compulsive Gambling and Warts Stuff.
  • Got Volunteered: One American federal government official is ordered by his superior to go negotiate with a Qurac dictator, and he really doesn't want to.
    Negotiator: Don't send me to negotiate, I can't even negotiate with my wife!
    Boss: I'm not asking you that much, I'm just asking you to negotiate with an anti-American head of state who sponsors terrorism.
  • Groin Attack: There is this memorable skit in the 7th album where a guy wearing a fancy tuxedo accidentally zips himself in the scrotum and his buddy has to help him out by moving his dick out of the way with his mouth. It turns out to be an elaborate plot to save himself some money by getting his dick sucked for free by a friend instead of for 200$ by a prostitute.
  • Haunted House: The "Slangster House" segments focus on a couple moving to an old country house that happens to be haunted. However, said haunting mostly come in the form of ghosts and undead showing up at their home to make terrible puns and otherwise be annoying.
  • Horny Vikings: A furniture shop received a complaint from a customer that he bought a king-sized bed note  but he keeps hitting his balls on the horn helmet. It turns out the shop accidently sold him a Viking and note a "lit king".
  • Hurricane of Puns : It. Never. Stops. There is literally a pun every five seconds. At minimum.
  • Hypocritical Humor: When his second-in-command suggests they warn the king of their progresses using a telegraph, Cartier calls him out on the Anachronism. Cue him making one as well later, something his second-in-command points out.
  • I Don't Like the Sound of That Place: Parodied in the "Slangster Resort" note  series where a couple is vacationing in a town called "Saint-gooey thing with three rows of teeth" and they need to find a street called "Half-eaten corpse with the Devil's tail in its mouth".
  • Incoming Ham: Bob Hartley announces his arrival with his catchphrase of "OUIN", a French-Canadian corruption of "oui" (yes), a bit like "yeah". People about to be verbally torn-apart by him react appropriately.
  • Initiation Ceremony: In the submarine mission sketch, everyone on the crew has a nickname that characterizes them and latter gets initiated. The New Meat wears glasses and is nicknamed "Barniques" (roughly translates as "four eyes") and the other crewmember who nicknamed him asks "Chien Sale" (literally "dirty dog", but has connotations of "vicious asshole") to go fetch "Gros Bras" (literally "big arms") and "La Verge" (an alternate French word for "penis") so they can initiate the new guy.
  • Inn of No Return: The Slangster Resort
  • Is This Thing Still On?: In one of the "Columbo du peuple" segments, the husband, after going through the trouble of murdering his wife, calls for the police. After feigning distress, the police asks him to wait, and he starts singing along with the transition music, happy to finally be rid of his wife. At the end of the segment, Columbo reveals the phone was still recording at that point and so he heard everything.
  • Intimidating Revenue Service: An employee of Revenu Québec (the Québec IRS) calls Santa Claus to harass him because he hasn't produced any income reports and he threatens Santa with an audit. It's Subverted when it turns out that it's Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer prank-calling Santa but then it's Double Subverted when it turns out that Rudolph got audited and he called Santa to warn him that he was getting audited too.
  • Jack Bauer Interrogation Technique: Cricket the special agent in the action movie uses punches to get answers, ranging from interrogating suspects to getting his best buddy to tell him what he's going to get for his birthday.
  • Jail Bake: The back art of the 5th album's features Pérusse in prison asking his elderly mom for a cake with a lime in it (in French, a lime can mean both the fruit, or a nail filer). His mom puts a lime in the cake, to Pérusse's despair.
  • Jerkass: The "guy who shops" is a textbook case of this, though sometimes he has a point because he's Surrounded by Idiots. Bob Hartley is another big case.
  • Kick the Son of a Bitch: Played for Laugh; In "Columbo du Peuple", most murders will open with the future victim abusing their would-be assassins to ludicrous extreme, making it blatantly obvious who will get killed and why. Most memorably, one story opens with a woman insulting her husband before informing him she is going out with another richer man, that she cheated on him with all his friends and enemies as well as his boss, the butcher and pretty much everyone else, she thinks he has a small penis, she damaged his car, she doesn't want to do it tonight because she got a headache, and she regrets taking this Life Assurance that'll grant him 15 million dollars when she'll die. Cue the narrator daring us to guess who will die in this story.
  • Large Ham: Bob Hartley, the coach of the Calgary Flames, lives and breathe this trope whenever he shows up.
  • Long Runner: Started in 1990, and François Pérusse is still producing content in 2018.
  • Manchild: Jean Charest, Premier of Quebec from 2003 to 2012, is often portrayed as this (in addition to The Ditz and Cloudcuckoolander). A particularly impressive case is when "he" does a PSA for his party that ends with him asking his wife to come wipe his ass like a toddler who just took a dump.
  • Nice Job Fixing It, Villain!: A lot of the murderers in "Columbo du Peuple" end up caught because they do an absolutely terrible job at covering their tracks.
  • No Budget: In-universe, CDKC community radio is this.
  • Nothing Exciting Ever Happens Here: The song "Saint-Néant" ("Néant" means void in French) takes this trope and runs away with it.
  • Nice Guy: Jean-Charles is a recurring character who takes this trope to ridiculous levels, though in his first appearance he was only nice to his coworkers and when he came home he had no problem telling his girlfriend to shut the fuck up, which was never brought up again.
  • Never Lend to a Friend: One sketch has a couple realizing they need money for groceries so the man calls one of his friend to recover a 20$ (100 Francs in the European version) debt from a friend, with the friend in question doing anything to change the subject away from the debt and the man trying his best to get his money back.
  • Oddly Small Organization: The United Nations is an exaggerated version of this in one skit, consisting of a grand total of 1 person, Ban Ki-moon, who just hangs out in the otherwise deserted New York building.
  • One Phone Call: Parodied in one skit where a guy calls a lawyer from a police station. The police didn't just gave him one phone call, they gave him one random phone book opening, and he miraculously landed on the attorney's number, who comments that he was lucky or else the guy would have to get defended by Mister Muffler.
  • Paper-Thin Disguise: In one of the "Columbo du Peuple" segments, the murderer somehow manages to disguise his wife's corpse as a phone. It actually seems to work, but backfires when Columbo finds the actual phone in his trash can and presumes it to be his wife, leaving the murderer unable to deny it without admitting the actual corpse isn't the real phone.
  • Public Domain Character: God, Jesus, Satan, Dracula, Santa Claus, Zorro...
  • Public Service Announcement: Pérusse is a big fan of advertising and he often dabbles in fake PSAs.
    Anti-Gambling PSA: The following message has been retained and payed, then released, then retained again against the wall with a couple of punches by your government to remind you that a gambling problem can be a problem. Visit the www.governmentthatencouragesyoutogamblethenpretendstocarewhenyourealoser.com
  • Rags to Riches: Exaggerated and Played for Laughs in one sketch where a guy wants to buy the Montréal's Canadian. He became rich by running a store that sells sewing machine spare parts in some ass end of nowhere town in Québec, but he also had a sideline making educational websites ("educational" here referring to learning how to better suck dick).
  • Scatting: A lot, especially in his songs.
  • Self-Deprecation: One sketch features a "has-been" singer who makes lame and repetitive songs, we get to hear them and they're basically remixed versions of Assis-sur mon tracteur, a song Pérusse made for the 6th Album du Peuple.
    • Characters will sometimes break the fourth wall to comment on the quality of their puns and jokes.
  • Silly Love Songs: All of his love songs, Asis-sur mon tracteur English , De Rien English , Tu Fababounes English .
  • Separated by a Common Language: Some skits have French and French Canadian versions. "Vive l'amour" ("Celebrate Love", 3 minutes of as many insults as the singer can cram in) is remarkable in that it illustrates the profound differences in themes in both countries (the French ones are scatological or sexual, French Canadian sounds like they came from a playground or a church inventory).
  • Speaking Simlish: Whenever he needs to make a foreign language, real or not, he'll just make up some vaguely French-Canadian gibberish. It helps him sneak in more puns.
  • Stock "Yuck!": The random lyrics of "Chanson fausse" start with the singer mentioning he bought a cake then removed the raisins.
  • Stylistic Suck: "Chanson fausse" (cf. Exactly What It Says on the Tin).
  • Sub Story: One memorable sketch is set in a submarine, complete with constant background *PING* noises and some Hot Sub-on-Sub Action when they encounter a Russian submarine.
  • Surrounded by Idiots: Jacques Cartier in his segment is surrounded by a less-than-competent crew on his boat, something he constantly complains about. Among others, said crew includes a pointless waiter who keeps misinterpreting whatever people say as commands, a vegetarian watchman who gets excited over nothing and a man who thinks himself a cow.
  • Take That!: Tons:
    • In one of the "Slangster House" segment, after hearing a voice telling him to "buy a chainsaw and cut his wife to pieces" while he was watching teleshopping, the protagonist calls the police and tells them about it, complaining he heard "a voice making him an awful and dishonest suggestion". The cop answers him he shouldn't be expecting anything else when he's watching teleshopping.
    • In the Columbo segment, when trying to pass his neightboor as insane, one of the murderers tell Columbo she once saw "a dislocated puppet moving around making random threats". Columbo answers that it's true the President of the United States does show up a lot on TV lately.
    • There are just so many of these in the series. Here's a short list: whatever current administration is Montreal city. The Quebec government, the Federal government, the American government, other world governments, Donald Trump, Canadian police, Kim-Jong Un, Québec's education system, the entirety of humanity...
    • One of the sketches involves a guy postuling to join an insane asylum. As he discusses with the head of said Asyleum, and mentions he met someone who was saying "I am not crazy, I'm Patrick Bruel!". The head answers him half of what he said was true- he was indeed Patrick Bruel (bashing Patrick Bruel is a Pérusse running gag).
  • Teeth-Clenched Teamwork: The "Recettes à Pierrette" English  have the titular Pierrette, an old but sarcastic lady and her assistant, a younger and very slutty woman, trade vicious insults just as much as they cook.
  • Teleporter Accident: Captain Kirk suffers two of them in the Star Trek parodies. In one he gets a generous (and hilarious) helping of Body Horror and gets inverted and can't speak because his boots muffle his mouth. In the second only his upper half is teleported away while the legs stay behind, and they kick Scotty's ass as punishment for messing up the teleportation.
  • The Dreaded: Bob Hartley is this, due to his Coach Nasty Large Ham speeches that chews out people who annoy him like vendors incompetent people or Acceptable Targets like politicians.
  • The "Fun" in "Funeral": So many!
    • One funeral had the dead man's best friend sings an upbeat silly song to cheer up everyone which only results in making people cry and the priest eventually steps in and asks him to go sit back in the pews.
    • And there's another one where the family's artist recites a serious poem, and the audience asks for more but the only other material he has is a vulgar poem. Hilarity Ensues.
  • The Omniscient: Mr. Yoko Who-Knows, the Man Who Knows Absolutely Everything, knows absolutely everything and frequently gives press conferences to journalists where he answers their questions, but everytime the journalists all ask odd questions on the same very specific subject which annoys Yoko Who-Knows to no end.
  • The Unpronounceable: Many locations or characters, such as inspectors or doctors, have names that sound like complete gibberish.
  • Too Much Information: Jean Charest (former Premier of Quebec and general punching bag of Pérusse) once admitted out of nowhere on a television interview that he fantasized about Annie Brocoli note  and whenever he thought about her the "sour cream" wasn't too far away.
  • Turbine Blender: A French sketch (as in, for France) where Santa Claus visits Bill Clinton aboard Air Force One ends with Santa getting shredded by the turbine on the way out.
  • Unsatisfiable Customer: The "guy who shops" is essentially just this, though sometimes it's because the employees are just morons.
    • A restaurant waiter has to deal with two idiots who keep asking questions.
    Waiter: Are they gonna ask for my shorts next?!
    Male Customer: Waiter!
    Waiter: Yes?
    Male Customer: Bring us your shorts when you come back!
    Waiter: Right away sir!
  • Wacky Cravings: Two cops in one of the police sketches are bored in a patrol car and discuss a gruesome story about a pregnant woman one heard on the radio that morning. They turn out the radio and it turns the gruesome story is a pregnant woman ate disgusting food combinations like chewing gum dipped in salad dressing or dill pickles and bananas.
  • Wire Dilemma: The action movie segment ends with the James Bond expy Cricket having to disarm a nuke capable of causing an Earth-Shattering Kaboom with a 10 second timer on it. There's 450 little colored wires and he needs to cut the right one. He accidentally cuts his shoelace at the last second.

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