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    Local Shop 

Edward and Tubbs Tattsyrup

Reece Shearsmith and Steve Pemberton, respectively
A bizarre, incestuous married couple who manage the local shop, on the remote moors surrounding Royston Vasey. They pride themselves and the town on being "local", and fear corruption from the outside world. Edward is a vicious psychopath who will let nothing get in his way to ensure the town stays local, and with the help of the childlike, sheltered naive Tubbs, he wages war on those who would connect Vasey to the rest of the world.

  • Animal Motifs: Their piggy noses may have something to do with the family's bestiality towards pigs meaning that the reason for their strange noses are genetic. This is implied in the second episode of the first series where Tubbs is shown breast-feeding a piglet. The noses, and Edward's appearance in particular, may also be indicative of congenital syphilis.
  • Aren't You Going to Ravish Me?: Tubbs seems fearful of any man who enters the shop (not) doing this.
  • Bad Samaritan: You do not want to encounter Edward when your leg is caught in a bear trap; chances are he's set it for you.
  • Blue-and-Orange Morality: It is more like local is good foreign is bad. Doesn't get any more alien, morally speaking, than being so secluded from the rest of the world to the point that everything and everyone else is bad and invasive for merely existing in close quarters to you.
  • Brother–Sister Incest: It says a lot about them, that by the time their true relationship is revealed, it is to nobody's surprise or shock. It does however put their relationship in a different light, given that they likely grew up together without much contact with the outside sinful world and learned to only see their own reality as acceptable.
  • Catchphrase: "This is a local shop, for local people! There's nothing for you here!"
    • Also; "You heard the man, Tubbs. Get undressed!"
  • Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Both of them, but Tubbs is the one who takes the cake, being so ignorant that she thinks that London is the size of her crystal ball.
  • Evil Plan: To stop New Road in series 1, and to find a bride for David in series 2.
  • The Family That Slays Together: They find union both as husband and wife as well as siblings. Edward technically does the slaying alone while Tubbs participates in the torturing (which includes dancing naked while covering the victims in tar and feathers together).
  • Gonk: Thanks to their questionable genetics, which include pig-like characteristics for some reason.
  • The Grotesque: Obviously inbred in the same way that they are in an incestuous relationship.
  • Large Ham: "HELLO HELLO, WHAT'S GOING ON, WHAT'S ALL THIS SHOUTING? WE'LL HAVE NO TROUBLE HERE." In other words he claims that he likes quiet and dislikes shouting, while he is the only one shouting.
  • Obliviously Evil: Tubbs doesn't seem to understand a whole lot of what she's ordered to do.
  • Old Dark Shop: An ideal setup for a gothic story of a more provincial sort.
  • Pre-Mortem One-Liner: "Don't worry, Tubbs! They won't get far!"
  • Psychopathic Manchild: Tubbs is happy as long as they have visitors to play with, waves her hands like a little girl and relies on Edward to tell her what to do. She also seems disappointed when the game seems to be over, which here means that the victims manage to escape with their lives.
  • Serial Killer: Let's say that it wouldn't be easy for them to put a sign about the number of customers served for a lot of reasons.
  • Siblings in Crime: Their beartraps, their rope, their matches, their tar and especially Edward's crossbow see a lot of glorious days.
  • The Sociopath: Tubbs would be this were it not for the fact that she really doesn't know any better, Edward on the other hand definitely fits this trope. He's a cruel, psychotic killer who clearly takes joy in hurting others who threaten his way of life. He's also shown to be physically abusive to Tubbs on more than one occasion. Just to really hammer in how bad he is, he uses the same tactics as Ted Bundy to kidnap a bride for David.
  • Suspiciously Specific Denial: Tubbs is quite prone to doing this showing how little contact with reality she has. And they are made even more suspicious by the fact that they are said when noone was asking anything at the time anyway.
    "We didn't cut their faces off!"

David Tattsyrup

David is Edward and Tubbs' son, who inexplicably turned out normal and left to study in London.

  • Arranged Marriage: To Barbara. He didn't have any more say in the matter than her, but its not like he would say much if asked anyway.
  • Evil Makes You Monstrous: That evil in question being his father Edward. It is questionable whether he imbued him with something new to him or if he merely awakened something genetic that remained dormant but he surely made him conform to his ideals of beauty.
  • Tragic Monster: It is sad that David went his own way in life and seemed content with that and because he just wanted to reconcile with his estranged parents, ends up turned by one of them into an animalistic and probably mindless monster.
  • The Unseen: In his second form. He was seen in series one as a normal man, but has since morphed into a terrifying off-screen beast after Edward persuaded him to "stay local".

    The Dentons 

Harvey and Val Denton

Steve Pemberton and Mark Gatiss, respectively
Two people with a passion for breeding fancy toads and extreme house cleanliness, Val and Harvey are made for one another. Unfortunately, their strange habits and incredible intolerance to anything outside their precious routines make them impossible to live with. When their nephew Benjamin comes to stay for one night, he finds he can't do anything that doesn't violate one of their endless house rules.

  • Animal Motifs: Toads. That's all. Harvey lives and breathes to feed and sustain them, because of seeing himself as one of them.
  • Berserk Button: Harvey hates the "f-word" (frog) seeing them as knock-offs and competition apparently.
  • Control Freak: Freaks is probably the word that first springs to mind when someone sees them, especially Harvey, but it is actually worse than that. They are controlling freaks and are led into evil when they take their ways as far as keeping Ben as some sort of prisoner or pet in order to keep control of every aspect of his life. Harvey considers it something to be proud about enough to write a pamphlet that details this plan and name it My plan to keep Benjamin as some sort of pet.
  • Creature of Habit: Their obsessive routines, lists and timetables make them unbearable to live with. For every one except each other of course.
  • A Date with Rosie Palms: Harvey thinks Benjamin does this in his house constantly. He obsesses over it constantly. There is absolutely no evidence to suggest he's even done it once.
  • Fan Disservice: "Nude Day".
  • Gonk: Harvey strongly resembles a toad, which has given him a strange obsession with them.
  • Hair-Trigger Temper: Harvey flies off the handle if you insult toads, do something that causes a mess, or give him reason to believe you were masturbating. Which he is gonna believe anyway even if you don't give him any reason to.
  • Happily Married: They are a match made in Bedlam.
  • Neat Freaks: Oddly this connects to Harvey's mania with toads and his perception of them as harmonical animals that do perfect life-circles.
  • Spring Cleaning Fever: Its a year long illness actually. For them every day is springtime and another day of war against the microbes.
  • Stepford Smiler: Val.
  • Super OCD: Colour coded towels and a brush for every task! Ross mixing them up was enough to prompt a horrified Harvey to cover Val's eyes to protect her from the trauma.
  • Terrified of Germs: Which is why they keep their house unnaturally clean.
  • Unusual Euphemism: "Madame Palm and her five lovely daughters", "Shaking white hot coconuts from the veiny love-tree", and so on...

Chloe and Radclyffe Denton

Megan and Rosy De Wolf, respectively
Val and Harvey's twin girls, who often seem to know much more than two young children should.

  • Aerith and Bob: Radclyffe isn't a very otherworldly just a sorry name for a girl. Given that their mother is only sorry that she didn't have a son according to their psychic abilities this explains everything.
  • Ambiguously Brown: They've very tanned in the 2017 series. Which is strange as it's implied they never leave the house anymore.
  • Creepy Children
  • Creepy Twins: They're among the most obvious and iconic of horror movie references so it is natural.
  • Emotionless Girls: They can see lots of things. Things that other people can't. They are mostly apathetic about them and tell them with as much emotion as an internet application describing the weather.
  • Expy: They're obviously based off the twins from The Shining. It's even more obvious in the 2017 series where they are now brunettes instead of blonde.
  • Psychic Powers: There's no privacy near them as they can read one's thoughts and also no peace of mind as they enjoy teleporting in front of others and scare them silly.
  • She's All Grown Up: They return in the 2017 series, now in their 20's. Benjamin still finds them as creepy as ever.
  • Troubling Unchildlike Behavior: Well, sane individuals would find their behaviour troubling and therefore not their parents. The only emotion that they display is sadistic ecstasy at killing toads, seeing a tortured man as a playmate and satisfaction as they blackmail and imprison adults, Ben and their parents respectively.
  • Twin Telepathy: They are full of secrets for everyone except each other as they have a shared consciousness perhaps without any individuality.

Benjamin Denton

Reece Shearsmith
Unlucky would-be hiker Benjamin makes plans to stay over with his Auntie Val and her family for one night so he can go and meet his friend for a ramble in the moors. He ends up staying over the course of two series, unable to escape the Denton's clutches.

  • Author Avatar: He's the only character that Reece Shearsmith doesn't wear any kind of makeup for. As such, he is Reece.
  • Butt-Monkey: How many times did he really react to being pushed around, ordered to perform demeaning tasks and humiliated by his psychotic relatives? It takes one series of absolute crap to finally snap and do something about it. Twice.
  • The Comically Serious: Based on his baffled reactions alone one would think that he is in a completely serious horror story, rather than a darkly whimsical, more adult version of Wonderland, with him as Alice.
  • Earn Your Happy Ending: After two seasons of absolute HELL in Royston Vasey, ranging from being imprisoned in hi.
  • Extreme Doormat: Despite being among the most reasonable characters in the show, he loses some points because of naively following along other obviously not well characters and not taking an active enough role to escape. Even his young cousins can take advantage of his passivity. This changes by the second series however and he shows how resourceful he can be if he chooses to.
  • Grumpy Bear: He looks grumpy and irritable but is in truth very passive and his complaints are often entirely ineffectual.
  • Only Sane Man: Definitely the only seen non-mentally ill member of the Denton family. Being an outsider to the Royston Vasey community his contrast to the whole town can be seen as both representing the audience and the rest of the world that isn't quite as...quirky.
  • Thicker Than Water: This is probably the main reason why Benjamin forgives Val and the twins for their actions in the 2017 series. Regardless of what they did, they're still Benjamin's family.

    Job Centre 

Pauline Campbell-Jones

Steve Pemberton
A tyrannical Restart Officer who uses her position as an outlet to vent her hatred of "dole scum". She has absolutely no interest in actually getting anyone back to work, and is more concerned with useless workshops and whether or not her pens have been returned at the end of the day. She has a Hair-Trigger Temper, and can turn violent if challenged. Despite treating everyone on her Restart like morons, she's not too bright herself, and resents Ross for his education and superior vocabulary.

  • Ambiguously Gay
  • Break the Haughty: It can be seen as both triumphant for her victims but also kind of sad given that she is broken to the point of showing that she had nothing else in her life.
  • The Bully: Of a verbal and dominant sort who can stoop to physical attacks once she is overpowered. Ross even openly calls her that. Her workshop on self esteem sums it perfectly.
  • Burger Fool: She has to work at Burger Me in a suitably humilating uniform after getting fired.
  • Butch Lesbian: During her time in prison, and most likely outside it.
  • The Caligula: Not dissuaded by the fact that all the control she's got is over a small class, its still her playground to toy with for her amusement.
  • Catchphrase: "Hokey-cokey, pig in a pokey!"
  • Companion Cube: The pens are all she's got.
  • Evil Is Petty: "I’m extending your restart by a month, and then I’m sending you on a whole series of meaningless courses, and then you’re going to come back here and I’m going to re-re-start you!"
  • Hair-Trigger Temper
  • Iconic Item: Pauline's obsession with pens is perhaps her most famous trait. Probably because they represent her job and how much she depends upon it for her self-worth.
  • I Take Offense to That Last One!: A lot of insults including her mental health she can take, but age just goes too far.
    Pauline: Just who do you think you're talking to?!
    C.C. Smith: Well according to my report, a psychotic 50-year old lesbian!
    Pauline: How dare you! I'm 48!
  • Know-Nothing Know-It-All: To an egregious degree. She pretends to know words she doesn't and even uses them later as supposedly clever retorts while still showing clearly that she hasn't looked them up.
  • Laser-Guided Karma: Pauline ends up getting fired and on unemployment benefits herself. She also has to beg Ross for an appeal, which she made him do previously.
  • No Sympathy: She is not really ideal for supporting destitute people. Or anyone for that matter. How can she when she is not even capable of pretending that she empathises with them?
  • Not So Different: In a rare moment of clarity she noticed with amusement that Ross was speaking more and more like her and even guessed the last word that he was gonna use for Mickey's family.
    Pauline: Were you gonna say dole scum?
  • Obstructive Bureaucrat: Pauline once prevented Mickey from going to an interview because it clashed with his Restart (which has mandatory attendance). Her reason was he hadn't covered the "Getting An Interview" portion of the course.
  • Old Maid: Ross uses this against her by calling her too old and then adding Miss dismissively, thinly-veiled as an act by his role as interviewer.
  • Pet the Dog: Has a soft spot for her braindead minion, Mickey after he breaks through her wall of emotional apathy and gives her the only pen that is really hers to keep.
  • Politically Incorrect Villain: The more that is revealed about her worldview, the less surprising it becomes that she has nothing but contempt for unemployed people. What else can you expect from someone who relies on their job for self-identity and self-value?
  • Smug Snake: She's really not as clever as she thinks she is, and it gets her into a lot of trouble. It's what helped Ross see through her and get under her skin in front of the entire class, when she haughtily asked for one of those so-called scum to evaluate her as a candidate.
  • Strawman Political: Pauline represents right-wingers who think all unemployed people are indolent, stupid and making a career out of leeching off the state. All the things that SHE is!
  • Took a Level in Kindness: She starts out as a vile, condescending bully, but over the course of the series, she becomes a better person.

Ross Gaines

Reece Shearsmith
An attendee of Pauline's restart, he is often the target of her bullying, as his good education and self esteem annoys her.
  • Friendless Background: His adress book won't have a part one label any time soon. The only entry is "Mother".
  • Insufferable Genius: Apart from possessing common sense he is quite intelligent given how easily he understood Pauline and got under her skin with a few well-placed words. Which makes him insufferable for her at least.
  • Jerkass: Not at first, but he morphs into a colder, more arrogant unlikeable character over the course of his story arc.
  • Kick Them While They Are Down: Obviously a believer of this, as he has no qualms to hurt his enemies after they have already been broken and doesn't allow them any consolation or semblance of dignity. Though by the end of the third series this changes.
  • Lonely at the Top: If one considers his sizable apartment at the top of a block of flats he is well off. If one considers his address book which lacks any names other than mother, he doesn't really have any social life.
  • Married to the Job: To the point that there isn't space for any other meaningful relationship let alone for a marriage of another kind. That's why It's Personal with Pauline, she made him hate the one thing that he had in his life. That makes him even more..
  • Not So Different: From his nemesis. Her! He is just as bitter, vindictive and sad on the inside as she is. And most importantly he relies on his job for self-worth as much as she, having nothing else to live for. When he goes on a rant against those who take advantage of social services he doesn't end his sentence realising in discomfort that Pauline knew already what he was gonna call them because it was her primary insult as well. Dole scum.
  • Undercover Cop Reveal: After five episodes, The Reveal occurs. As a member of the social services, he has the evidence and jurisdiction to have Pauline fired.

Mickey Michaels

Mark Gatiss
Another attendee of the restart, childlike, braindead and unemployable Mickey is Pauline's good-natured lackey.
  • Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: He's unable to concentrate on anything beyond a few seconds.
  • Gonk: Even by Royston Vasey standards, Mickey isn't easy on the eye.
  • Manchild: Mickey seems to have the cognitive abilities of a 4 or 5 year old, as well as having the same interests in diggers and drawings done in crayon.
  • Morality Pet: For Pauline after the final episode of Series one where he brought her a gift just because he liked her and struck an unusual chord for her.
  • The Pigpen: He has the non-existent personal grooming of a young child along with a lot of other traits.
  • Too Dumb to Live: It doesn't seem likely that he would able to find any type of job anyway, let alone one of a fireman if he has a hard time understanding the concept of lying.
  • Undying Loyalty: To Pauline.

Cathy Carter-Smith

Reese Shearsmith
Another restart officer and Pauline's nemesis.

  • Eviler Than Thou: A middle-aged, overweight Ambiguously Gay woman with anger issues and dodgy lipstick, Cathy is basically Pauline with the small amount of humanity stripped away.
  • Foe Romance Subtext: With Pauline. They even end up passionately kissing in the stage show.
  • Sadist Teacher
  • Tyrant Takes the Helm: She manages to do this even after Pauline's time as restart officer, running the course in a much more abusive and dehumanising way than before, which is no mean feat.

Hilary Briss

Mark Gatiss
Royston Vaseys' resident butcher and self-proclaimed "Purveyor of fine Meats". His status as a respectable businessman has earned him some considerable standing in the community, but there seems to be a dark undercurrent to his business practices...
  • Bestiality Is Depraved: Mrs Briss is revealed to be a Jersey cow whom he nonetheless seems to treat as a proper housewife, given the long tearful goodbye that he gives her, along with the fact that she is housed in a specially designed part of the bed.
  • Evil Tastes Good: The reason why he was able to get all the pillars of Vasey in on his racket. They just can't get enough of the Special Stuff.
  • Extreme Omnivore: He seems to consider sheep's eyes a tasty snack. But he doesn't go so far as to sample the Special Stuff... someone has to stay in control.
  • Faux Affably Evil: With his quaint shopfront, muttonchop sideburns and wide smile, Briss seems to cultivate a jolly, amiable image, but this veneer is paper thin and it's not too difficult to see the sociopath lurking beneath.
  • I Can't Believe It's Not Heroin!: Briss is, for all intents and purposes, a very dangerous drug lord who happens to deal in meats instead of narcotics. It's not revealed if the Special Stuff produces a high, but is apparently so delicious it's highly addictive.
  • Insistent Terminology: The illegal and appallingly immoral food he sells under the counter is only ever called "The Special Stuff". What is actually is can only be speculated on.
  • I'm a Humanitarian: A common misconception. His Special Stuff is not human meat, it's something much, much worse.
  • Really 700 Years Old: According to the character biography in Series 1, Briss says that his age "spans great oceans of time".
  • Screw the Rules, I Have Connections!: He is protected by the police, the council and many other powerful individuals, as he supplies them all with his product.
  • Soft-Spoken Sadist: Briss rarely raises his voice above a slightly fey whisper. When he shouts you know it's Serious Business.

Geoff Tipps

Reece Shearsmith
An enbittered, volatile and unhappy man working in a lower-level position in a plastic-moulding firm in Vasey. His best friends are colleagues Mike and Brian, who have been promoted far ahead of him and secretly only keep him around because he's an old schoolmate of theirs. Geoff constantly alienates them by playing cruel practical jokes like faking his own suicide, pulling a gun on them over trivial matters and utterly failing to tell a joke. Despite this, he has ambitions to be a stand-up comic in London, and leaves Vasey to persue his dream in Season 3.
  • Adaptational Nice Guy: His psychotic and nasty personality is removed for the 2005 film The League of Gentlemen's Apocalypse, in which his worst trait is really being bumbling and clumsy. He spends the film wanting to prove himself as a hero.
  • Attention Whore: He constantly derails his friends' conversations, and shows only a superficial interest in Mike's upcoming wedding, even though he's obsessed with being his Best Man.
  • Berserk Button: When you tell a joke around Geoff, make sure you tell it right.
  • Boisterous Weakling: His bark is definitely much bigger that his bite, given how many times he bites more than he can chew. Of course, if he really loses it, he may become as dangerous as his behaviour implies.
  • Butt-Monkey
  • Cannot Tell a Joke: Totally incapable of understanding that the setup, the pattern, the timing and the voice do matter. All that because he doesn't often really get the joke at all. -One of the many reasons he's...
  • The Friend Nobody Likes: Its not like he allows his friends many chances to like him though, no matter how ridiculously accepting they are, when he shouts at them all the time, belittles them, threatens them with death and complains about every simple thing.
  • Giftedly Bad: His stand-up routine, and any informal attempt he makes to be funny. Of course, he thinks he's a natural.
  • Green-Eyed Monster
  • Hair-Trigger Temper: Being very high-strung and easy to annoy (just by boring him for one), it is not reassuring that he also has the trigger of his gun between his fingers.
  • High Hopes, Zero Talent: His stand-up comic ambitions in a nutshell. It doesn't say great things that for him a joke is much more than that but he just can't get it to begin with.
  • Jaded Washout: He's repeatedly shown as being a feckless and an incompetent employee, to the point where the firm is trying to get rid of him in Season 3.
  • The Load: To Mike and Brian, especially when they get lost in the woods, though that's charitable given that a load would neither act like a broken compass nor go crazy and almost kill one of them because of imagined enemies.
  • Psychopathic Manchild: He is oddly childlike, which probably explains why he finds adult life so frustrating.
  • The Resenter: He resents EVERYONE, but especially Mike and Brian, who lead full, happy lives compared to him.
  • Straw Loser: To a certain extent HE is the one who enforces it on himself, by insisting on comparing himself to other people most of all Mike, without doing anything about his life on his own and just caring about being better than him at something. He ends up being a straw loser to a majority of the people around him and not just the ones that he put in a mental stadium against him.
  • Throw the Dog a Bone: During "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue in Season 3, he is shown to finally be able to tell a joke, and more importantly make his audience laugh.
  • With Friends Like These...: When your so-called "best friend" is threatening your life with a gun because you can't remember the punchline to a joke, perhaps it's time to re-evaluate the friendship.

Mr. Chinnery

Mark Gatiss
The long suffering and ever kind vet of Royston Vasey. Unfortunately he has a habit of accidentally killing any animal he happens to go near.
  • Accidental Murder: Even when he's NOT called to attend a sick animal (just ask that poor Jack Russell who was accidentally caught on the back of his bike...) Or maybe don't.
  • Break the Cutie: Every animal that he accidentally kills takes its toll and he slowly breaks down throughout the series. By the time of the Christmas special, he has given up and became a total mess after he managed to learn about the curse that haunts him.
  • Catchphrase: "Please sit down, I have some rather upsetting news....". He tries to say it calmly but his trembling voices leaves no doubt that he is rather upset himself.
  • Expy: Definitely based on James Herriot, wellington boots and all.
  • Friend to All Living Things: Until he kills them...
  • Kindly Vet: He's perhaps the nicest character in all of Vasey. He is also an excellent vet in theory, but his cursed nature leads to one appalling incident after another.

Papa Lazarou

Reece Shearsmith

Herr Wolff Lipp

Steve Pemberton
An effeminate teacher on an exchange trip from Duisberg who is also a predatory pederast with a fondness for school-age teenage boys. He's unhappily married to Lotte, who is disgusted by his perversions. He's tragic and pathetic rather than stone-cold evil, and the horrible things he does seem to be motivated out of loneliness and a desire to find love. He also may be a vampire.

  • Adaptational Heroism: Although he makes some indecent remarks several times, his predatory personality is massively toned down in the 2005 film, where he just wants a family of his own. He is shown to be distressed when he reads an article about the show in which he is described as repulsive and a one note character.
  • Abhorrent Admirer: To everyone he pursues through the course of the show.
  • Black Comedy Rape
  • Camp Gay
  • Catchphrase: "Alles Klar?"
  • Depraved Homosexual
  • Dodgy Toupee: It goes a way to reveal his bald head at the same time that his true character is revealed. Justin pulls it off after Lipp throws scalding coffee in his face to knock him out.
  • Double Entendre: He's barely capable of getting a sentence out without making one, much to his chagrin.
  • Funny Foreigner: He unwittingly says things that make him sound like a pedophile, which is ultimately revealed to be true. Things like "You are still erect" to mean "You are still awake".
  • Gayngst
  • Gonk: Steve Pemberton achieved his look by taping his lower eyelids down and stuffing his top lip.
  • I Just Want to Be Normal: He hates his status as a Flat Character who's only good for Double Entendre}}s and wants to break free.
  • Lover and Beloved: To be part of this type of relationship is his dream.
  • Malaproper
  • Meaningful Name: "Wolff" for a sexual predator is rather fitting.
  • National Stereotypes
  • Punny Name
  • Queer People Are Funny
  • Sissy Villain
  • Slipping a Mickey: That Duisberg coffee looks suspicious.
  • Stalker with a Crush
  • Transparent Closet: He confesses his sexuality to Justin, who tries his hardest to feign surprise.
  • Unwanted Spouse: To Lotte. It's mutual.
  • Villain Decay: Seemingly played straight but actually inverted. His first story arc showed him as an immoral, sociopathic rapist who buried Justin alive just so he could keep him as a lover for his return to Vasey next year. His next appearance was the Christmas special, while he was still predatory, he was much more pathetic and sacrificed himself to save the boy who spurned him. This is part of a flashback however that happened around 27 years before his first appearance in Royston Vasey. Finally, in the movie he's shown as more of a sympathetic person who struggles against being written as a Flat Character. He also finds out he's great with kids (really!) and ultimately saves Vasey from destruction.

Ollie Plimsolls

Reese Shearsmith

Founder of the Legz Akimbo- "Put yourself in a child" travelling theatre troupe, Ollie fancies himself as a gifted writer/performer of important works tackling issues like homosexuality ("Everybody Out!"), teenage homelessness ("No Home 4 Johnny") and disability ("Vegetable Soup"), but of course they are all badly-researched, unrealistic and laughably over the top. Phil and Dave, the two other members of the troupe can't stand Ollie because of his histrionic personality, bad temper and egotism. He is also incredibly bitter, especially concerning his ex wife.

  • Attention Whore: And unfortunately his request, scratch that, his demand for attention makes him histrionic at all times.
  • Bad Boss: He's the leader of the troupe, and absolutely loathed for good reason.
  • Berserk Button: LESBIANS. Just a single mention of their existence and the mask falls. It is no longer acting, it is hysterically overreacting.
  • Condescending Compassion: One of the reason his plays are so insulting is they're always about minority groups of people who Ollie feels superior to.
  • Control Freak: One of the reasons he's so unbearable to work for. His troupe must follow the script to the letter. Thing is the script says what they should do offstage as well.
  • Crazy Jealous Guy:
  • Critical Research Failure:invoked It's clear from all his plays he has nothing more than a glancing knowledge of anything he writes about. Which makes it hilarious when a spectator asks a good, well-thought question because this means immediate curtains for the show.
  • Giftedly Bad: He is so insincere that acting would be the only part of his life where he fits, if he wasn't so untalented.
  • Green-Eyed Monster: It's not pretty when Phil announces he's leaving the troupe for a real acting gig on TV.
  • Hypocrite: His tendency to really pretend comes when he preaches tolerance.
  • It's All About Me: Its not really about minorities its about what a great, talented and understanding person he is.
  • Jerkass
  • Misplaced Kindergarten Teacher: He's incredibly patronising to many people, but especially to school kids.
  • Politically Incorrect Villain: Ollie tries to be right-on, but often lets his secretly bigoted views slip. He has a special hatred of lesbians because his wife left him for another woman.
  • The Resenter
  • Sissy Villain: He is not just a jackass thespian, he is a jackass thespian with a sense of flair.
  • Stylistic Suck
  • Small Name, Big Ego
  • Totally Radical: Any time he tries to relate to children he leaves them either bored to death or dumbfounded and trying to makes sense of what he's talking about.

Barbara Dixon

Steve Pemberton (voice only)

Owner and driver of "Bab's Cabs", Barbara is a chatty and friendly cabbie who likes nothing more than to regale her customers with the latest news of her gender transitioning in graphic detail. She finally gets what she calls "the chop" at the end of Series One, but unfortunately her surgeon is Mr Chinnery, and the outcome isn't so good.

  • Artistic Licence Biology: She is apparently able to get pregnant and bear children. Of course, most of the Royston Vasey townsfolk take more than a few liberties with the laws of nature.
  • Carpet of Virility: Not a fan of hair removal, Babs proudly displays a thick thatch on her chest.
  • The Faceless: Is always seen from behind. Her face is briefly seen in Series 1 episode 6.
  • Lady Looks Like a Dude: The way she sees it, she is cursed with a very masculine body, copious body hair and a gruff, gravelly voice. Oh and male reproductive organs, which is the only part that she cares about removing.
  • Named After Somebody Famous: Not to be confused with the Musical Theatre star Barbara Dixon.
  • Single Woman Seeks Good Man: She's looking for love and finds it in the arms of David, the Tattsyrup's horrifying son.
  • Too Much Information: She loves to chat about the various challenges and tribulations of transitioning, not recognising that it makes her passengers squirm with discomfort.
  • Transgender: Barbara is a Male to Female transgendered person, but after the ambiguous results of her operation, she's not sure which category she falls into. Along with everyone else.


Steve Pemberton

The most sexually perverted of the cast, he is a relatively wealthy landlord and shop-owner who adores his sons until they do a mistake at which point he can disown them and who views all women that he encounters as sex objects that must satisfy him.

  • Abusive Parent: He's shown to be physically abusive to both his sons, whipping them with a belt when they disappoint him. And the less said about what he does to Richie in the 2017 series, the better...
  • Bait the Dog: When we first meet Pop he appears enthusiastic, loud and genuinely affectionate towards his two sons, nevermind that he does it in a crude way and offers them porn magazines as gifts. The moment he finds out that his younger son screwed up and lost him a few chocolates he shows his real nature and the audience realises what a nightmare it must have been for the two boys growing up with this abusive monster.
  • Berserk Button: A lot of things can set him off.
  • Dirty Old Man: Dirty in all possible ways. He is a shop-owner and a landlord and well these are his only occupations that don't openly involve his sexual appetites if we ignore that he sells and gifts porn magazines and enjoys watching his tenants have sex through his secret surveillance system. Naturally he frequents brothels and is unsurprisingly the owner of the only Royston Vasey striptease club. In a less harmless and more sinister way he sees even his sons as competition for attractive women and doesn't respond kindly to rejection. Even his chosen nickname Pop has some dark implications given that he declares himself an old man who wants to be seen as close by women.
  • Faux Affably Evil: His attempts at appearing friendly by offering meals, compliments and helpful advice are obviously quite insincere and not just because they are done in his crass style. But mostly because he clearly wants something that the receivers have like say their money. The act is dropped once he gets angry or just realises that they need to be persuaded in other ways.
  • Jerkass: Even by the standards of the show, he's a thoroughly unpleasant individual.
  • Large Ham
  • Lecherous Licking: Him licking his lips is one of the signs that he has been aroused yet again. Another sign is him cleaning the sweat off his face.
  • Slimeball: In a dictionary his photo could be seen under a lot of words that start with an S. Seedy, sleazy, sneaky, shameless, slippery, slimy and (un)savoury are some of those words. He does justice to all of them thanks to his oily demeanour towards all surrounding females with a special mention going to Patricia, his son Al's date whom he blatantly hits on and harasses. 20 years on, even his teenage grandaughters aren't safe from it.
  • The Dog Bites Back: On the receiving end of this in the anniversary special: his son Richie snaps and kills him and it's implied he and Al dispose of Pop's body in a meat grinder.
  • Why Did You Make Me Hit You?: Indulges in this whenever he physically abuses his sons, his introductory scene being a prime example.

Reverend Bernice Woodall

Reece Shearsmith

The fire and brimstone vicar of Royston Vasey's church, even though she doesn't believe in God, prefering to just berate her parishoners for their many sins.

  • And Now You Must Marry Me: Kidnapped by Papa Lazarou at the end of the Christmas Special for this.
  • Badass Preacher: In the film, where she heads up the resistance movement to save Royston Vasey from destruction.
  • Cynicism Catalyst: The Christmas special implies seeing her mother kidnapped by Papa Lazarou at a young age was this for her.
  • Deadpan Snarker: She's got this in spades.
    Dr. Chinnery: Tell me, Reverend. Do you believe a man…can be cursed? [Beat]
    Reverend Woodall: Have you met Barbara?

    Parishoner: Are you the vicar here?
    Reverend Woodall: No I'm the fucking gardener! What do you think?
  • Deal with the Devil: Implied to have made one of these with Papa Lazarou in the anniversary special, allowing him to carry out fracking to build the tunnels for his wife-mine in exchange for her freedom.
  • Fire and Brimstone Hell: She's very fond of alluding to this in her sermons.
    Reverend Woodall: Liars and idolators! Your place is in the lake of fire and sulphur, where you will die the second death! The death that burns and tears for all eternity! [it's revealed she's talking to a group of primary school children, most of who are either sobbing or sitting in terrified silence] So, think on. [slams her Bible shut in front of one crying kid] Shut up!
  • Opportunistic Bastard: Takes advantage of Tubbs and Edward taking hostages in the anniversary special as a way to drum up support for her efforts to save Royston Vasey from being merged with another town.
  • Rank Up: At some point between Season 3 and the anniversary special, Bernice has become Royston Vasey's mayor.
  • Skewed Priorities: In the anniversary special; Bernice couldn't care less that Royston Vasey being merged with another local town will cost her the Mayor's job, but she's immediately ready to fight to the death when it's pointed out she'll also lose her complimentary parking space outside Oddbin's.
    Reverend Woodall: If they want to force us into Blackbottoms, so be it. It's no skin off my fanny.
    Murray Mint: But Bernice, they've got their own mayor! We'd lose our jobs, our hospitality budget, your free parking space outside Oddbins...
    Reverend Woodall: Fuck that! Get some placards, some paint and phone Rent-A-Mob! We're not going down without a fight!
  • The Vicar: The world's meanest clergywoman. One imagines there are not many Church of England vicars who have told a parishoner to "piss off home". On Christmas Eve. When said parishioner was in tears.


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