Characters / The League of Gentlemen

Main Ensembles

Local Shop

Edward and Tubbs Tattsyrup

"We don't bother the outside world and we don't want IT bothering US!"- Edward Tattsyrup

Reece Shearsmith and Steve Pemberton, respectively

A bizarre, incestuous married couple who manage the local shop, on the remote moors surrounding Royston Vasey. They pride themselves and the town on being "local", and fear corruption from the outside world. Edward is a vicious psychopath who will let nothing get in his way to ensure the town stays local, and with the help of the childlike, sheltered naive Tubbs, he wages war on those who would connect Vasey to the rest of the world.

---

• Alliterative Name: Tulip "Tubbs" Tattsyrup.
• Animal Motifs: Their piggy noses may have something to do with the family's bestiality towards pigs meaning that the reason for their strange noses are genetic. This is implied in the second episode of the first series where Tubbs is shown breast-feeding a piglet. The noses, and Edward's appearance in particular, may also be indicative of congenital syphilis.
• Arc Villain: Their attempts to foil the construction of new road is the main focus of series 1.
• Aren't You Going to Ravish Me?: Tubbs seems fearful of any man who enters the shop (not) doing this.
• Back from the Dead: Occurs twice.
  • Having been presumably killed at the end of series two, they resurface at the beginning of series three from the ruins of the Local Shop, although are killed moments later from a train.
  • Despite their deaths in series three, they return in the three part 2017 anniversary special, in which they claim the train had avoided them.
• Bad Samaritan: You do not want to encounter Edward when your leg is caught in a bear trap; chances are he's set it for you.
• Big Brother Instinct: Edward is a very twisted example of this trope, determined to protect Tubbs from the outside world's influence by any means necessary.
• Blue-and-Orange Morality: It is more like local is good foreign is bad. Doesn't get any more alien, morally speaking, than being so secluded from the rest of the world to the point that everything and everyone else is bad and invasive for merely existing in close quarters to you.
• British Teeth: Edward's are thin and rotted.
• Brother–Sister Incest: It says a lot about them, that by the time their true relationship is revealed, it is to nobody's surprise or shock. It does however put their relationship in a different light, given that they likely grew up together without much contact with the outside sinful world and learned to only see their own reality as acceptable.
• Character Catchphrase:
  • "This is a local shop, for local people! There's nothing for you here!"
  • "You heard the man, Tubbs. Get undressed!"
  • "Hello hello! What's going on? What's all this shouting? We'll have no trouble here!"
• Cloudcuckoolander: Both of them, but Tubbs is the one who takes the cake, being so ignorant that she thinks that London is the size of her crystal ball.
• Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Edward sounds rather frantic when Tubbs disappears from the photo booth in the anniversary finale.
• Evil Old Folks: Edward is 84 in the first two series' and is an unrelenting sadist and serial killer. By the 2017 specials he's over one hundred years old but isn't any less cruel or psychotic and age hasn't slowed him down at all.
• Evil Plan: To stop New Road in series 1, and to find a bride for David in series 2.
• The Family That Slays Together: They find union both as husband and wife as well as siblings. Edward technically does the slaying alone while Tubbs participates in the torturing (which includes dancing naked while covering the victims in tar and feathers together).
• Four Eyes, Zero Soul: They both wear glasses and are grotesque, psychotic killers.
• Gonk: Thanks to their questionable genetics, which include pig-like characteristics for some reason.
• The Grotesque: Obviously inbred in the same way that they are in an incestuous relationship.
• Hidden Depths: Tubbs is phenomenally ignorant due to being repressively sheltered from the outside world, but shows a surprising aptitude for learning when given the chance. For example, she goes from being perplexed by a smartphone to mastering the technology and becoming very social media savvy in a matter of hours.
• Iconic Item: Their "precious things"/ snowglobes.
• Large Ham: "HELLO HELLO, WHAT'S GOING ON, WHAT'S ALL THIS SHOUTING? WE'LL HAVE NO TROUBLE HERE." In other words he claims that he likes quiet and dislikes shouting, while he is the only one shouting.
• May–December Romance: Edward is over fifty years older than Tubbs, yet they are also somehow brother and sister.
• Nigh-Invulnerability: They survive a burning building collapsing on top of them and then spending roughly 9 months underground in between series 2 and 3. The 2017 series reveals they (barely) survived being hit by a train in in the third series premiere.
• Obliviously Evil: Tubbs doesn't seem to understand a whole lot of what she's ordered to do.
• Old, Dark House: Or shop, really. An ideal setup for a gothic story of a more provincial sort.
• Older Than They Look: Edward is over one hundred years old in the 2017 series, yet seemingly hasn't aged at all since the second series.
• Pre-Mortem One-Liner: "Don't worry, Tubbs! They won't get far!"
• Psychopathic Manchild: Tubbs is happy as long as they have visitors to play with, waves her hands like a little girl and relies on Edward to tell her what to do. She also seems disappointed when the game seems to be over, which here means that the victims manage to escape with their lives.
• Really 700 Years Old: There are multiple hints, including comments made by the gents in the DVD commentary, that the couple have been alive for centuries.
• Serial Killer: Let's say that it wouldn't be easy for them to put a sign about the number of customers served for a lot of reasons.
• Siblings in Crime: Their beartraps, their rope, their matches, their tar and especially Edward's crossbow see a lot of glorious days.
• The Sociopath: Tubbs would be this were it not for the fact that she really doesn't know any better, Edward on the other hand definitely fits this trope. He's a cruel, psychotic killer who clearly takes joy in hurting others who threaten his way of life. He's also shown to be physically abusive to Tubbs on more than one occasion. Just to really hammer in how bad he is, he uses the same tactics as Ted Bundy to kidnap a bride for David.
  • Sociopathic Soldier: Edward claims he was "in a war" (presumably World War 2, given his age) and one can only imagine the war crimes he may have committed during that time.
• Suspiciously Specific Denial: Tubbs is quite prone to doing this showing how little contact with reality she has. And they are made even more suspicious by the fact that they are said when no-one was asking anything at the time anyway.
  "WE DIDN'T BURN HIM!"
  "We didn't cut their faces off!"
• Technologically Blind Elders: Tubbs has no idea how to work the "tefelome". Doesn't stop her figuring out Instagram though...
• Younger Than They Look: In the first two series, Tubbs is only 33, but she looks considerably older.

David Tattsyrup

Mark Gatiss

David is Edward and Tubbs' son, who inexplicably turned out normal and left to study in London.

---

• Arranged Marriage: To Barbara. He didn't have any more say in the matter than her, but its not like he would say much if asked anyway.
• Bigfoot, Sasquatch, and Yeti: By Series 2, he's much taller, completely covered in hair, and has a deep, bestial growl.
• Evil Makes You Monstrous: That evil in question being his father Edward. It is questionable whether he imbued him with something new to him or if he merely awakened something genetic that remained dormant but he surely made him conform to his ideals of beauty.
• Tragic Monster: It is sad that David went his own way in life and seemed content with that and because he just wanted to reconcile with his estranged parents, ends up turned by one of them into an animalistic and probably mindless monster.
• The Unseen: In his second form. He was seen in series one as a normal man, but has since morphed into a terrifying off-screen beast after Edward persuaded him to "stay local".

The Dentons

Harvey and Val Denton

"In this house...We don't masturbate"- Harvey Denton

Steve Pemberton and Mark Gatiss, respectively

Two people with a passion for breeding fancy toads and extreme house cleanliness, Val and Harvey are made for one another. Unfortunately, their strange habits and incredible intolerance to anything outside their precious routines make them impossible to live with. When their nephew Benjamin comes to stay for one night, he finds he can't do anything that doesn't violate one of their endless house rules.

---

• Abusive Parents: Not Val and Harvey, but the latter's own parents, who viciously mocked him due to his facial warts and gave him the nickname Toadface.
• Animal Motifs: Toads. That's all. Harvey lives and breathes to feed and sustain them, because of seeing himself as one of them.
• Back from the Dead: Uncle Harvey's soul is transferred into Benjamin during the Anniversary Special, though it's undone by the end of the special.
• Berserk Button: Harvey hates the "f-word" (frog) seeing them as knock-offs and competition apparently.
• Control Freak: Freaks is probably the word that first springs to mind when someone sees them, especially Harvey, but it is actually worse than that. They are controlling freaks and are led into evil when they take their ways as far as keeping Ben as some sort of prisoner or pet in order to keep control of every aspect of his life. Harvey considers it something to be proud about enough to write a pamphlet that details this plan and name it My plan to keep Benjamin as some sort of pet.
• Creature of Habit: Their obsessive routines, lists and timetables make them unbearable to live with. For every one except each other of course.
• Fan Disservice: "Nude Day".
• Four Eyes, Zero Soul: Harvey is the only Denton to wear glasses and by far the most villainous.
• Gonk: Harvey strongly resembles a toad, which has given him a strange obsession with them.
• Hair-Trigger Temper: Harvey flies off the handle if you insult toads, do something that causes a mess, or give him reason to believe you were masturbating. Which he is gonna believe anyway even if you don't give him any reason to.
• Happily Married: They are a match made in Bedlam.
• Hate Sink: Harvey is a genuinely loving father and husband, but really that's about it for redeeming features. The rest of his characteristics show him as an uptight, authoritarian, paranoid closed-minded arrogant jerk who horribly abuses and imprisons his nephew (who he once even locks out of the house for being up late).
• Neat Freaks: Oddly this connects to Harvey's mania with toads and his perception of them as harmonical animals that do perfect life-circles.
• Lady of Black Magic: Val, though the whole family practices witchcraft it becomes more prominent with her in the Anniversary Special, as she leads the way in the ritual to bring Harvey back from the dead.
• Obsessively Organized: Colour coded towels and a brush for every task! Benjamin mixing them up was enough to prompt a horrified Harvey to cover Val's eyes to protect her from the trauma.
• Offscreen Teleportation: They both have an uncanny tendency to immediate, unseen arrival.
• Scare Chord: Tends to accompany they're seeming teleportation.
• Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Harvey sometimes speaks this way.
  • Prominently in the "Aqua Vita" and "Nude Day" sketches.
• Smug Snake: They are both prone to acting like this when they manage to trick or otherwise subdue their nephew.
• Spring Cleaning Fever: Its a year-long illness, actually. For them every day is springtime and another day of war against the microbes.
• Terrified of Germs: Which is why they keep their house unnaturally clean.
• Unusual Euphemism: "Madame Palm and her five lovely daughters", "Shaking white hot coconuts from the veiny love-tree", and so on...

Chloe and Radclyffe Denton

Megan and Rosy De Wolf, respectively

Val and Harvey's twin girls, who often seem to know much more than two young children should.

---

• Aerith and Bob: Radclyffe isn't very otherworldly, just a sorry name for a girl. Given that their mother is only sorry that she didn't have a son according to their psychic abilities this explains everything.
• Ambiguously Brown: They're very tanned in the 2017 series. Which is strange as it's implied they never leave the house anymore.
• Creepy Child: The pair of them.
• Creepy Twins: They're among the most obvious and iconic of horror movie references, so it is natural.
• Emotionless Girls: They can see lots of things. Things that other people can't. They are mostly apathetic about them and tell them with as much emotion as an internet application describing the weather.
• Expy: They're obviously based off the twins from The Shining. It's even more obvious in the 2017 series where they are now brunettes instead of blonde.
• Psychic Powers: There's no privacy near them as they can read one's thoughts and also no peace of mind as they enjoy teleporting in front of others and scare them silly.
• Scare Chord: As with their parents, their sudden appearances are accompanied by one.
• She's All Grown Up: They return in the 2017 series, now in their 20's. Benjamin still finds them as creepy as ever.
• Troubling Unchildlike Behavior: Well, sane individuals would find their behavior troubling and therefore not their parents. The only emotion that they display is sadistic ecstasy at killing toads, seeing a tortured man as a playmate and satisfaction as they blackmail and imprison adults, Ben and their parents respectively.
• Twin Telepathy: They are full of secrets for everyone except each other as they have a shared consciousness perhaps without any individuality.

Benjamin Denton

"You want me to piss in to a glass?"

Reece Shearsmith

Unlucky would-be hiker Benjamin makes plans to stay over with his Auntie Val and her family for one night so he can go and meet his friend for a ramble in the moors. He ends up staying over the course of two series, unable to escape the Denton's clutches.

---

• Audience Surrogate: Being an outsider to the Royston Vasey community, his contrast to the whole town can be seen as both representing the audience and the rest of the world that isn't quite as...quirky.
• Author Avatar: He's the only character that Reece Shearsmith doesn't wear any kind of makeup for. As such, he is Reece.
  • He also plays the same role Jeremy Dyson did in the real events that inspired the original Denton sketches.
• Butt-Monkey: How many times did he really react to being pushed around, ordered to perform demeaning tasks and humiliated by his psychotic relatives? It takes one series of absolute crap to finally snap and do something about it. Twice.
• The Comically Serious: Based on his baffled reactions alone one would think that he is in a completely serious horror story, rather than a darkly whimsical, more adult version of Wonderland, with him as Alice.
• Earn Your Happy Ending: After two seasons of absolute HELL in Royston Vasey, ranging from being imprisoned in his room to being humiliated with “Nude Day”, he finally escapes the town for good.
• Extreme Doormat: Despite being among the most reasonable characters in the show, he loses some points because of naively following along other obviously not well characters and not taking an active enough role to escape. Even his young cousins can take advantage of his passivity. This changes by the second series however and he shows how resourceful he can be if he chooses to.
• Only Sane Man: Definitely the only seen non-mentally ill member of the Denton family.
• Thicker Than Water: This is probably the main reason why Benjamin forgives Val and the twins for their actions in the 2017 series. Regardless of what they did, they're still Benjamin's family.

Job Centre

Pauline Campbell-Jones

"We're all in the same boat, well, I'm not, I've got a job, but YOU'RE all in the same boat."

Steve Pemberton

A tyrannical Restart Officer who uses her position as an outlet to vent her hatred of "dole scum". She has absolutely no interest in actually getting anyone back to work, and is more concerned with useless workshops and whether or not her pens have been returned at the end of the day. She has a Hair-Trigger Temper, and can turn violent if challenged. Despite treating everyone on her Restart like morons, she's not too bright herself, and resents Ross for his education and superior vocabulary.

---

• Alas, Poor Villain: Despite the fact she was his nemesis, Ross attended her funeral in the 2018 live show.
  • Subverted as the same live show reveals she's still alive.
• Ambiguously Gay: Series 1 and 2 repeatedly and heavily imply Pauline is gay, at first her spotlight episode in series 3 is in line with this... Until she has sex with Mickey and then Ross of all people. By the end of the series her and Mickey get married.
• Back from the Dead: The 2018 live tour reveals that both her dementia and her death in the Anniversary specials were faked as part of an insurance scam.
• Blatant Lies: In series 1 she confesses to Ross she never went to college but while working at Burger Me in series 2 she claims to have diplomas.
• Break the Haughty: It can be seen as both triumphant for her victims but also kind of sad given that she is broken to the point of showing that she had nothing else in her life.
• The Bully: Of a verbal and dominant sort who can stoop to physical attacks once she is overpowered. Ross even openly calls her that. Her workshop on self esteem sums it perfectly.
• Burger Fool: She has to work at Burger Me in a suitably humiliating uniform after getting fired.
• Butch Lesbian: During her time in prison, and most likely outside it.
• The Caligula: Not dissuaded by the fact that all the control she's got is over a small class, its still her playground to toy with for her amusement.
• Character Catchphrase: "Hokey-cokey, pig in a pokey!" and "Piss off!", the latter of which is only used in series 1 and always directed at Ross.
• Collector of the Strange: Despite her claiming to the contrary in the mock interview with Ross, she keeps all her old pens in chronologically organized binders in her home.
• Companion Cube: The pens are all she's got.That is, until she marries Mickey in series 3.
• Devilish Hair Horns: Played with. Her hair style in the first two series and Anniversary Special is meant to flick forward to resemble ram horns.
• Evil Is Petty: "I’m extending your restart by a month, and then I’m sending you on a whole series of meaningless courses, and then you’re going to come back here and I’m going to re-re-start you!"
• Fiery Redhead: She is most definitely this.
• Hair-Trigger Temper: Her rage is one of her defining traits.
• Iconic Item: Pauline's obsession with pens is perhaps her most famous trait. Probably because they represent her job and how much she depends upon it for her self-worth.
• I Take Offense to That Last One: A lot of insults including her mental health she can take, but age just goes too far.
  Pauline: Just who do you think you're talking to?!
  C.C. Smith: Well according to my report, a psychotic 50-year old lesbian!
  Pauline: How dare you! I'm 48!
• Kick the Dog: One of her main jokes, aimed at both Ross and, early in the show, Mickey.
• Know-Nothing Know-It-All: To an egregious degree. She pretends to know words she doesn't and even uses them later as supposedly clever retorts while still showing clearly that she hasn't looked them up.
• Laser-Guided Karma: Pauline ends up getting fired and on unemployment benefits herself. She also has to beg Ross for an appeal, which she made him do previously.
• No Sympathy: She is not really ideal for supporting destitute people. Or anyone for that matter. How can she when she is not even capable of pretending that she empathizes with them?
• "Not So Different" Remark: In a rare moment of clarity she noticed with amusement that Ross was speaking more and more like her and even guessed the last word that he was gonna use for Mickey's family.
  Pauline: Were you gonna say dole scum?
• Obstructive Bureaucrat: Pauline once prevented Mickey from going to an interview because it clashed with his Restart (which has mandatory attendance). Her reason was he hadn't covered the "Getting An Interview" portion of the course.
• Old Maid: Ross uses this against her by calling her too old and then adding Miss dismissively, thinly-veiled as an act by his role as interviewer.
• Pet the Dog: Has a soft spot for her braindead minion, Mickey after he breaks through her wall of emotional apathy and gives her the only pen that is really hers to keep.
• Politically Incorrect Villain: The more that is revealed about her worldview, the less surprising it becomes that she has nothing but contempt for unemployed people. What else can you expect from someone who relies on their job for self-identity and self-value?
• Rage Breaking Point: When Ross tells her to beg him in series 2 she up and tries to kill him before taking him hostage until her arrest three episodes later.
• Smug Snake: She's really not as clever as she thinks she is, and it gets her into a lot of trouble. It's what helped Ross see through her and get under her skin in front of the entire class, when she haughtily asked for one of those so-called scum to evaluate her as a candidate.
• Strawman Political: Pauline represents right-wingers who think all unemployed people are indolent, stupid and making a career out of leeching off the state. All the things that SHE is!
• Took a Level in Kindness: She starts out as a vile, condescending bully, but over the course of the series, she becomes a better person.

Ross Gaines

"Would you describe yourself as a fairly... egregious person?"

Reece Shearsmith

An attendee of Pauline's restart, he is often the target of her bullying, as his good education and self esteem annoys her.

---

• Author Avatar: He's a stand-in for Reece Shearsmith in the restart that inpsired Pauline and her skits, even their names sound almost identical!
• Friendless Background: His address book won't have a part one label any time soon. The only entry is "Mother".
• Insufferable Genius: Apart from possessing common sense he is quite intelligent given how easily he understood Pauline and got under her skin with a few well-placed words. Which makes him insufferable for her at least.
• Jerkass: Not at first, but he morphs into a colder, more arrogant unlikeable character over the course of his story arc.
• Kick Them While They Are Down: Obviously a believer of this, as he has no qualms to hurt his enemies after they have already been broken and doesn't allow them any consolation or semblance of dignity. Though by the end of the third series this changes.
• Lonely at the Top: If one considers his sizable apartment at the top of a block of flats he is well off. If one considers his address book which lacks any names other than mother, he doesn't really have any social life.
• Married to the Job: To the point that there isn't space for any other meaningful relationship let alone for a marriage of another kind. That's why It's Personal with Pauline, she made him hate the one thing that he had in his life.
• Uncertain Doom: At the end of the funeral scene in the 2018 live tour he's stuffed into a coffin by Pauline, a coffin which is then sent off to an incinerator. However, this live show is questionably canon.
• Undercover Cop Reveal: After five episodes, The Reveal occurs. As a member of the social services, he has the evidence and jurisdiction to have Pauline fired.

Mickey M. Michaels

"Fireman!"

Mark Gatiss

Another attendee of the restart, childlike, braindead and unemployable Mickey is Pauline's good-natured lackey.

---

• Alliterative Name: Mickey Micheal Micheals.
• Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: He's unable to concentrate on anything beyond a few seconds.
• Big "NO!":When he finds Pauline after she's attacked by Geoff in the Anniversary Special.
• British Teeth: He has croocked, yellowed, buck teeth.
• Dumb Muscle: Acts as this during Pauline's siege (or as he spells it segee) of the job center in series 2.
• Hidden Depths: He has a dream of becoming a fireman (which he achieves by the 2017 series), loves drawing and in series 1, claims to be a good swimmer.
• Gonk: Even by Royston Vasey standards, Mickey isn't easy on the eye.
• Manchild: Mickey seems to have the cognitive abilities of a 4 or 5 year old, as well as having the same interests in diggers and drawings done in crayon.
• Morality Pet: For Pauline after the final episode of Series one where he brought her a gift just because he liked her and struck an unusual chord for her.
• The Pigpen: He has the non-existent personal grooming of a young child along with a lot of other traits.
• Too Dumb to Live: It doesn't seem likely that he would able to find any type of job anyway, let alone one of a fireman if he has a hard time understanding the concept of lying.
• Ugly Cute: He can best be described as this.
• Undying Loyalty: To Pauline.

Cathy Carter-Smith

"Rule number one: No smoking! I know you lot have nothing to live for but I DO!"

Reese Shearsmith

Another restart officer and Pauline's nemesis.—-

• Alliterative Name: C.C. Smith.
• Eviler than Thou: A middle-aged, overweight Ambiguously Gay woman with anger issues and dodgy lipstick, Cathy is basically Pauline with the small amount of humanity stripped away.
• Fanon: In the commentary for Cathy's scene, the league jokes about the fan theory that Cathy's solo scene is because she's Ross in drag in some kind of therapy for the physical abuse Pauline did to him, to the point that when Ross makes his appearance in Episode 2 they joke "Cathy Carter-Smith out of drag".
• Foe Romance Subtext: With Pauline. They even end up passionately kissing in the stage show. However the scene in question has since been deemed not canon.
• Hate Sink: Despite her short screen-time, she shows herself as Pauline minus any redeeming qualities, even more abusive that she was and pretty much everyone hates her.
• Tyrant Takes the Helm: She manages to do this even after Pauline's time as restart officer, running the course in a much more abusive and dehumanizing way than before, which is no mean feat.
• What Happened to the Mouse?: After appearing in the season 2 premier she doesn't make any definitely canon appearances^note  apart from her name appearing on the board in Episode three when before the Ross and Pauline fight.

Others

Introduced in Series 1

Hilary Briss

"Someone has to stay in control."

Mark Gatiss

Royston Vaseys' resident butcher and self-proclaimed "Purveyor of fine Meats". His status as a respectable businessman has earned him some considerable standing in the community, but there seems to be a dark undercurrent to his business practices...

---

• Arc Villain: It's his special stuff that causes the nose bleeds at the heart of series 2.
• Back for the Finale: He makes a brief appearance evacuating the other women from the wife mine before it explodes in the "LIVE Again" tour.
• Bald of Evil: He's the villain of series 2 and in the finale he shaves his head (except for the sideburns, of course) and flees to the Caribbean.
• Beard of Evil: Well, sideburns of evil.
• Bestiality Is Depraved: Mrs Briss is revealed to be a Jersey cow whom he nonetheless seems to treat as a proper housewife, given the long tearful goodbye that he gives her, along with the fact that she is housed in a specially designed part of the bed.
• Evil Tastes Good: The reason why he was able to get all the pillars of Vasey in on his racket. They just can't get enough of the Special Stuff.
• Extreme Omnivore: He seems to consider sheep's eyes a tasty snack. But he doesn't go so far as to sample the Special Stuff... someone has to stay in control.
• Faux Affably Evil: With his quaint shopfront, muttonchop sideburns and wide smile, Briss seems to cultivate a jolly, amiable image, but this veneer is paper thin and it's not too difficult to see the sociopath lurking beneath.
• Fiery Redhead: He can get scarily angry when he's threatened with the prospect of his "special stuff" racket being exposed to the public.
• I Can't Believe It's Not Heroin!: Briss is, for all intents and purposes, a very dangerous drug lord who happens to deal in meats instead of narcotics. It's not revealed if the Special Stuff produces a high, but is apparently so delicious it's highly addictive.
• Insistent Terminology: The illegal and appallingly immoral food he sells under the counter is only ever called "The Special Stuff". What is actually is can only be speculated on.
• I'm a Humanitarian: A common misconception. His Special Stuff is not human meat, it's something much, much worse.
• Really 700 Years Old: According to the character biography in Series 1, Briss says that his age "spans great oceans of time".
• Screw the Rules, I Have Connections!: He is protected by the police, the council and many other powerful individuals, as he supplies them all with his product.
• Slasher Smile: Makes these on occasion.
• Soft-Spoken Sadist: Briss rarely raises his voice above a slightly fey whisper. When he shouts you know it's Serious Business.

Geoff Tipps

"Barbara... Are bummers deaf?"

Reece Shearsmith

An enbittered, volatile and unhappy man working in a lower-level position in a plastic-moulding firm in Vasey. His best friends are colleagues Mike and Brian, who have been promoted far ahead of him and secretly only keep him around because he's an old schoolmate of theirs. Geoff constantly alienates them by playing cruel practical jokes like faking his own suicide, pulling a gun on them over trivial matters and utterly failing to tell a joke. Despite this, he has ambitions to be a stand-up comic in London, and leaves Vasey to pursue his dream in Season 3.

---

• Adaptational Nice Guy: His psychotic and nasty personality is removed for the 2005 film The League of Gentlemen's Apocalypse, in which his worst trait is really being bumbling and clumsy. He spends the film wanting to prove himself as a hero.
• Attention Whore: He constantly derails his friends' conversations, and shows only a superficial interest in Mike's upcoming wedding, even though he's obsessed with being his Best Man.
• Berserk Button: When you tell a joke around Geoff, make sure you tell it right.
• Boisterous Weakling: His bark is definitely much bigger that his bite, given how many times he bites more than he can chew. Of course, if he really loses it, he may become as dangerous as his behavior implies.
• Cannot Tell a Joke: Totally incapable of understanding that the setup, the pattern, the timing and the voice do matter. All that because he doesn't often really get the joke at all.
• Country Mouse: Comes to London in hopes of becoming a popular comedian in his dedicated episode in series 3. The first half of the episode follows his struggle to adjust.
• Does Not Like Spam: Living on food from the bins at Hammonds, he laments always getting egg mayonnaise sandwiches.
• The Friend Nobody Likes: Its not like he allows his friends many chances to like him though, no matter how ridiculously accepting they are, when he shouts at them all the time, belittles them, threatens them with death and complains about every simple thing.
• Giftedly Bad: His stand-up routine, and any informal attempt he makes to be funny. Of course, he thinks he's a natural.
• Green-Eyed Monster: His jealousy of both Mike and Brian motivates much of his vitriol toward them.
• Hair-Trigger Temper: Being very high-strung and easy to annoy (just by boring him for one), it is not reassuring that he also has the trigger of his gun between his fingers.
• High Hopes, Zero Talent: His stand-up comic ambitions in a nutshell. It doesn't say great things that for him a joke is much more than that but he just can't get it to begin with.
• Jaded Washout: He's repeatedly shown as being a feckless and an incompetent employee, to the point where the firm is trying to get rid of him in Season 3.
• My God, What Have I Done?: When he figures out what's going on in his series 3 episode and when he finds out he killed the wrong person in the 2017 series.
• The Load: To Mike and Brian, especially when they get lost in the woods, though that's charitable given that a load would neither act like a broken compass nor go crazy and almost kill one of them because of imagined enemies.
• Politically Incorrect Villain: In series 2 he mocks Babs both for being trans and for having her surgery botched.
• Psychopathic Manchild: He is oddly childlike, which probably explains why he finds adult life so frustrating.
• The Resenter: He resents EVERYONE, but especially Mike and Brian, who lead full, happy lives compared to him.
• Straw Loser: To a certain extent HE is the one who enforces it on himself, by insisting on comparing himself to other people most of all Mike, without doing anything about his life on his own and just caring about being better than him at something. He ends up being a straw loser to a majority of the people around him and not just the ones that he put in a mental stadium against him.
• Suddenly Shouting: More-so than even other Reece Shearsmith characters.
• Throw the Dog a Bone: During "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue in Season 3, he is shown to finally be able to tell a joke, and more importantly make his audience laugh.
• With Friends Like These...: When your so-called "best friend" is threatening your life with a gun because you can't remember the punchline to a joke, perhaps it's time to re-evaluate the friendship.

Mr. Matthew Chinnery

"I'm afraid there have been one or two... complications."

Mark Gatiss

The long suffering and ever kind vet of Royston Vasey. Unfortunately he has a habit of accidentally killing any animal he happens to go near.

---

• Accidental Murder: Even when he's NOT called to attend a sick animal (just ask that poor Jack Russell who was accidentally caught on the back of his bike...) Or maybe don't.
• A Day in the Limelight: The closest he comes to having an arc in the entire show is his segment of the Christmas special, wherein he recounts how his great-grandfather was cursed by a pair of monkey bollocks.
• Break the Cutie: Every animal that he accidentally kills takes its toll and he slowly breaks down throughout the series. By the time of the Christmas special, he has given up and became a total mess after he managed to learn about the curse that haunts him.
• Character Catchphrase: "Please sit down, I have some rather upsetting news..." He tries to say it calmly, but his trembling voices leaves no doubt that he is rather upset himself.
  • He also always greets animals with a gentle "Hello, (animal's name/boy/girl)".
• Expy: Definitely based on James Herriot, wellington boots and all.
• Friend to All Living Things: Until he kills them...
• Iconic Item: After seeing him drag a dog around for an entire episode no viewer will forget his bicycle.
• Kindly Vet: He's perhaps the nicest character in all of Royston Vasey. He is also an excellent vet in theory, but his cursed nature leads to one appalling incident after another.

Oliver "Ollie" Plimsolls

"Just drive through them, Dave. They can't stop theatre!"

Reece Shearsmith

Founder of the Legz Akimbo- "Put yourself in a child" travelling theatre troupe, Ollie fancies himself as a gifted writer/performer of important works tackling issues like racism ("White Chocolate"), homosexuality ("Everybody Out!"), teenage homelessness ("No Home 4 Johnny"), eczema ("Scratch Match") and disability ("Vegetable Soup"), but of course they are all badly-researched, hamfisted, and laughably over-the-top. Phil and Dave, the two other members of the troupe, can't stand Ollie because of his histrionic personality, bad temper and egotism. He is also incredibly bitter, especially concerning his ex-wife.

---

• Asshole Victim: In season three, when Phil "falls" out of the wheelchair Ollie gave him for their method acting exercise and says he can't get up, to annoy Ollie, the latter screams at Phil and then at a muscular man who interjects and subsequently beats the snot out of Ollie.
• Attention Whore: And unfortunately his request, scratch that, his demand for attention makes him histrionic at all times.
• Bad Boss: He's the leader of the troupe, and absolutely loathed for good reason.
• Berserk Button: LESBIANS. Just a single mention of their existence and the mask falls. It is no longer acting, it is hysterically overreacting.
• Condescending Compassion: One of the reason his plays are so insulting is they're always about minority groups of people who Ollie feels superior to.
• Control Freak: One of the reasons he's so unbearable to work for. His troupe must follow the script to the letter. Thing is the script says what they should do offstage as well.
• Dumb Blonde: A borderline moronic writer/director who happens to be blonde.
• Four Eyes, Zero Soul: He wears glasses and lacks any real redeeming qualities.
• The Friend Nobody Likes: His standoffish personality and thinly veiled bigotry make him very obnoxious to be around, and yet despite quitting their jobs at Legz Akimbo in series 1, Dave and Phil are seen working for him again in all his subsequent appearances.
• Giftedly Bad: He is so insincere that acting would be the only part of his life where he fits, if he wasn't so untalented.
• Green-Eyed Monster: It's not pretty when Phil announces he's leaving the troupe for a real acting gig on TV.
• Hate Sink: He is never shown as anything but a self-important and pathetic scumbag.
• Hypocrite: His tendency to really pretend comes when he preaches tolerance.
• It's All About Me: Ollie's plays aren't really about minorities, they're about what a great, talented, and understanding person he is.
• Jerkass: An ill-tempered, arrogant, bumbling, hypocritical man who views himself as an unappreciated genius.
• Know-Nothing Know-It-All: It's clear from all his plays he has nothing more than a glancing knowledge of anything he writes about. Which makes it hilarious when a spectator asks a good, well-thought question because this means immediate curtains for the show.
• Misplaced Kindergarten Teacher: He's incredibly patronizing to many people, but especially to school kids.
• Politically Incorrect Villain: Ollie pretends to be progressive, but often lets his secretly bigoted views slip. He has a special hatred of lesbians because his wife left him for another woman.
• Sissy Villain: He is not just a jackass thespian, he is a jackass thespian with a sense of flair.
• Small Name, Big Ego: Ollie thinks he is a gifted actor and playwright, but is terrible at both; and ultimately ends up a bitter, resentful drama teacher while Phil and Dave both become professional actors.
• Totally Radical: Any time he tries to relate to children he leaves them either bored to death or dumbfounded and trying to makes sense of what he's talking about.
• Unexplained Recovery: Not Ollie, but Legz Akimbo as a theater group as they broke up in series 1 episode 4 but are back together by the series 2 finale. This is never acknowledged by them or any other characters.

Barbara Dixon-Tattsyrup

Steve Pemberton (voice only)

Owner and driver of "Bab's Cabs", Barbara is a chatty and friendly cabbie who likes nothing more than to regale her customers with the latest news of her gender transitioning in graphic detail. She finally gets what she calls "the chop" at the end of Series One, but unfortunately her surgeon is Mr Chinnery, and the outcome isn't so good.

---

• Ambiguous Gender Identity: Barbara is a Male-to-Female transgender person, but after the ambiguous results of her operation, she's not sure which category she falls into. Along with everyone else.
• Artistic Licence – Biology: She is apparently able to get pregnant and bear children. Of course, most of the Royston Vasey townsfolk take more than a few liberties with the laws of nature.
• Borrowed Catchphrase: Uses Edawrd's "Hello hello! What's going on? What's all this shouting? We'll have no trouble here!" when the mob is about to burn down the local shop in the series 2 finale.
• Carpet of Virility: Not a fan of hair removal, Babs proudly displays a thick thatch on her chest.
• The Faceless: Is always seen from behind. Her face is briefly seen in Series 1 episode 6.
• Lady Looks Like a Dude: The way she sees it, she is cursed with a very masculine body, copious body hair and a gruff, gravelly voice. Oh and male reproductive organs, which is the only part that she cares about removing.
• Named After Somebody Famous: Not to be confused with the Musical Theatre star Barbara Dixon.
• The Other Darrin: She is physically played by Steve in series one, but only has his voice in series 2, likely to allow her to by on screen at the same time as Mike in episode 3 and Tubbs in episode 5 & 6.
• Single Woman Seeks Good Man: She's looking for love and finds it in the arms of David, the Tattsyrup's horrifying son. Funnily enough her attachments add (as seen in A Local Book for Local People) mentions her seeking a "tall, hairy stranger".
• Too Much Information: She loves to chat about the various challenges and tribulations of transitioning, not recognising that it makes her passengers squirm with discomfort. Something she shares with the real life magician that inspired her.

Pop

"Nine Maverick bars...And you say this is nothing?"

Steve Pemberton

The most sexually perverted of the cast, he is a relatively wealthy landlord and shop-owner who adores his sons until they make a mistake, at which point he can disown them and who views all women that he encounters as sex objects that must satisfy him.

---

• Abusive Parent: He's shown to be physically abusive to both his sons, whipping them with a belt when they disappoint him. And the less said about what he does to Richie in the 2017 series, the better...
• Asshole Victim: No one in the audience will feel sorry to see him killed by Richie in the Anniversary special.
• Bait the Dog: When we first meet Pop he appears enthusiastic, loud and genuinely affectionate towards his two sons, nevermind that he does it in a crude way and offers them porn magazines as gifts. The moment he finds out that his younger son screwed up and lost him a few chocolates he shows his real nature and the audience realizes what a nightmare it must have been for the two boys growing up with this abusive monster.
• Character Tics: His regular habit of wiping his hand across his face, which was based on Bernard Manning wiping his hand across his brow onstage.
• Dirty Old Man: Dirty in all possible ways. He is a shop-owner and a landlord and well these are his only occupations that don't openly involve his sexual appetites if we ignore that he sells and gifts porn magazines and enjoys watching his tenants have sex through his secret surveillance system. Naturally he frequents brothels and is unsurprisingly the owner of the only Royston Vasey striptease club. In a less harmless and more sinister way he sees even his sons as competition for attractive women and doesn't respond kindly to rejection. Even his chosen nickname Pop has some dark implications given that he declares himself an old man who wants to be seen as close by women.
• Faux Affably Evil: His attempts at appearing friendly by offering meals, compliments and helpful advice are obviously quite insincere and not just because they are done in his crass style. But mostly because he clearly wants something that the receivers have like say their money. The act is dropped once he gets angry or just realizes that they need to be persuaded in other ways.
• Hair-Trigger Temper: He is very volatile, even by Royston Vasey's twisted standerds.
• Hate Sink: Without doubt the most loathsome character in the show, a depraved, abusive, sleazy, disgusting man with none of the amusing quirks of Royston Vasey's other residents. You could argue his love for his son is a redeeming feature, but even that is questionable. He also beats and disowns his son for a minor reason, In the anniversary special, he's worse. Luckily, he gets stabbed to death by the son he disowned and none of the family seems to mind that much.
• Jerkass: Even by the standards of the show, he's a thoroughly unpleasant individual.
• Karmic Death: In the 2017 Anniversary Special he is killed by Rich, the son he disowned back in his first episode in series .
• Laser-Guided Karma: Gets [[spoiler:killed by his son Richie in the final episode.
• Lecherous Licking: Him licking his lips is one of the signs that he has been aroused yet again. Another sign is him cleaning the sweat off his face.
• Slimeball: In a dictionary his photo could be seen under a lot of words that start with an S. Seedy, sleazy, sneaky, shameless, slippery, slimy and (un)savoury are some of those words. He does justice to all of them thanks to his oily demeanour towards all surrounding females with a special mention going to Patricia, his son Al's date whom he blatantly hits on and harasses. 20 years on, even his teenage granddaughters aren't safe from it.
• Why Did You Make Me Hit You?: Indulges in this whenever he physically abuses his sons, his introductory scene being a prime example.

Reverend Bernice Woodall

"People call this "theatre in education"... I call it AIDS in a van."

Reece Shearsmith

The fire and brimstone vicar of Royston Vasey's church, even though she doesn't believe in God, preferring to just berate her parishioners for their many sins.

---

• A Day in the Limelight: After not having any major impact on series 1 or 2 she acts as the main character and framing device in the Christmas special.
• And Now You Must Marry Me: Kidnapped by Papa Lazarou at the end of the Christmas Special for this.
• Badass Preacher: In the film, where she heads up the resistance movement to save Royston Vasey from destruction.
• Cynicism Catalyst: The Christmas special implies seeing her mother kidnapped by Papa Lazarou at a young age was this for her.
• Deadpan Snarker: She's got this in spades.
  Dr. Chinnery: Tell me, Reverend. Do you believe a man…can be cursed? [Beat]
  Reverend Woodall: Have you met Barbara?

  Parishoner: Are you the vicar here?
  Reverend Woodall: No I'm the fucking gardener! What do you think?
• Deal with the Devil: Implied to have made one of these with Papa Lazarou in the anniversary special, allowing him to carry out fracking to build the tunnels for his wife-mine in exchange for her freedom.
• Fire and Brimstone Hell: She's very fond of alluding to this in her sermons.
  Reverend Woodall: Liars and idolators! Your place is in the lake of fire and sulphur, where you will die the second death! The death that burns and tears for all eternity! [it's revealed she's talking to a group of primary school children, most of who are either sobbing or sitting in terrified silence] So, think on. [slams her Bible shut in front of one crying kid] Shut up!
• Hypocritical Humour: Chastises a woman in disgust for flirting with the gravedigger at a funeral... whilst also flirting with the gravedigger at a funeral.
• I Need a Freaking Drink: Rarely seen without some sort of booze nearby.
• Opportunistic Bastard: Takes advantage of Tubbs and Edward taking hostages in the anniversary special as a way to drum up support for her efforts to save Royston Vasey from being merged with another town.
• Pet the Dog: She's surprisingly polite and understanding to Charlie and Mr. Chinnery when they arrive at the chapel in the Christmas Special.
• Rank Up: At some point between Season 3 and the anniversary special, Bernice has become Royston Vasey's mayor.
• Skewed Priorities: In the anniversary special; Bernice couldn't care less that Royston Vasey being merged with another local town will cost her the Mayor's job, but she's immediately ready to fight to the death when it's pointed out she'll also lose her complimentary parking space outside Oddbin's.
  Reverend Woodall: If they want to force us into Blackbottoms, so be it. It's no skin off my fanny.
  Murray Mint: But Bernice, they've got their own mayor! We'd lose our jobs, our hospitality budget, your free parking space outside Oddbins...
  Reverend Woodall: Fuck that! Get some placards, some paint and phone Rent-A-Mob! We're not going down without a fight!
• The Vicar: The world's meanest clergywoman. One imagines there are not many Church of England vicars who have told a parishoner to "piss off home". On Christmas Eve. When said parishioner was in tears.

Lance Longthorne

"Well... Whoopie shit."

Mark Gatiss

The crass, one-armed owner of the joke shop on Royston Vasey's high street. He has an extremely cruel sense of humor and no regard for the safety of the practical jokes he sells.

---

• A Day in the Limelight: He has a one-off skit in series one but returns as the main character of the second episode of the third series.
• Alliterative Name: Lance Longthorne.
• An Arm and a Leg: His lack of a left arm instigates the plot of his starring episode in series 3. Later comes into play more traditionally as Lance rips off most of his new arm hoping to rid himself of the controlling spirit of it's former owner.
• British Teeth: His teeth are notably more yellowed and cavity-ridden in series 3 than in series 1.
• Character Catchphrase: Despite only having two appearances he has two.
  • "Stag night, is it?"
  • "Jesus, some people ain't got no sense of humor."
• Evil Hand: Doubly Subverted in his feature episode in series 3, as the arm belonged to a nun and forces Lance to act kindly but it becomes more aggressive and controlling, even eventually leading to his death.
• Fat Bastard: He posses a sadistic sense of humor and is very overweight.
• Fat Slob: Played up in series 3 to make him more unappealing and to make his sacrifice more impactful.
• Harmful to Minors: Lance sees nothing wrong with selling an old woman a tricked-out vibrator, right in front of said old woman's grandson, on said grandson's 8th birthday.
• Heroic Sacrifice: is forced into this by his new arm at the end of his spotlight episode.
• Politically Incorrect Villain: Upon waking up from the procedure that gave him a new arm, Lance is horrified and disgusted to find it's a woman's arm.
• Pre-Asskicking One-Liner: When he loses his patience with Mike King the latter tries to defend his actions with a saying that starts with "When the shit's been shat", before he can finish Lance responds with "I'll shit you." and delivers a knuckle sandwich.
• Sadist: Almost all of the items he has in stock are dangerous if not out right deadly. Lance is aware of this and doesn't care in the slightest. (Unless someone threatens to sue.)
• Screw the Rules, I Have Connections!: It's how he aquires most of his amoral "gags".
• Screw the Rules, I Have Money!: How he convinces Mike King to prematurely sign him up to get a new arm.
• Tattoo as Character Type: Series 3 reveals he has an anchor tattoo on his arm, showing how much he values his manliness.

Ernest Foot

"And if your babies turned out all... Well they could tell these days! They've got computers!"

Steve Pemberton

An old man with the unfortunate habit of accidentally offending disabled people when trying to be polite to them in conversation.

---

• A Day in the Limelight: He appears in 2 individual sketches in series one but has a major role in a subplot in the series 3 premire.
• Character Catchphrase: "Was it something I said?"
• Innocently Insensitive: Is this to a blind man and the wheelchair bound Simon in series 1.
• Scatterbrained Senior: Ernest has shades of this. He gets carried away in conversation, usually forgetting what disability the person he's speaking to has and consequently insulting them by accident. In series 1 episode 5 he even says "I'm goin' daft in my old age.".
• Sibling Rivalry: Ernest has one with his brother, Peter, in series 3. The latter has been given a year to live and has forced Ernest (and the rest of the family) to rehearse his memorial every weekend. Ernest and Peter's wife, Sheila, get back at him by using one such rehearsal to reveal to him they plan on getting married after his death.
• Troll: After being fed up with Peter insisting the family rehearse his funeral weekly, Ernest and his sister-in-law, Sheila, pretend Peter isn't in church and rehearse their wedding woes. All to show how they'll get on just fine without him.

Charlie & Stella Hull

"It's shriveled up and all the baubles have dropped off." "Julie doesn't want to hear about your personal problems."

Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith, respectivley

A dysfunctional married couple living in Royston Vasey who use any third party present as means by which to carry out their arguments and insults, whether that be their waiter or their neighbor's baby.

---

• A Day in the Limelight: Each of them receives one after series 2. Stella stars in a dream sequence that Charlie relays to Bernice as the first part of the Christmas special, "Yule Never Leave", while Charlie himself is the featured protagonist in series 3, episode 5.
• And I Must Scream: Charlie is trapped in and elephant along with Brian, Bernice and several others in the series 3 finale.
• Aw, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: Implied in some of their earlier sketches in the series but best seen during the events of the Anniversary specials, when, a good while after their divorce, Charlie shows genuine concern when he starts to believe that Stella's new partner is physically abusing her. When he asks her about it she almost answers, then hesitates and then fully pulls back as they both fall silent.
• Blunt "No": Tragically, when Rev. Woodall asks Charlie if he truly loves Stella.
• Coming-Out Story: Charlie's episode in series 3 becomes this due to being forced to give many men, including Tony, hand jobs.
• Double Entendre: They both frequently take advantage of the other making one to insult each other.
• The Gambling Addict: Charlie claims that Stella is this before we see concrete proof in series 3. This is made worse as the trope also extends to the Hulls' relationship counselor.
• Imaginary Love Triangle: Charlie is caught in two of these in his starring episode in series 3. One involves Stella and Tony, while the other is with Judee Levinson and Tony. He is injured and/or humiliated by all parties by the end of the episode.
• Kick the Dog: When Charlie is rejected and hit by Tony, which is quickly Exaggerated in to Trauma Conga Line as more people get involved.
• Tell Him I'm Not Speaking to Him: It's a Running Gag throughout all of their skits in the first 2 series.
• Trauma Conga Line: The only way to describe what befalls Charlie in series 3. He gets rejected and forcefully hit by Tony, insulted and stepped on by Judee, mocked by Stella who, in the same breath, reveals she's been cheating on him with Tony, told by Luigi/Carl that his order is off the menu for that night and to top it all of, he almost gets hit by the Legz Akimbo van before being taken away by Papa Lazarou and trapped in an elephant. Though he doesn't seem to mind the last one.
• Unwanted Spouse: They are both this to each other and it's their whole shtick!

Introduced in Series 2

Papa Lazarou

"This is just a saga now."

Reece Shearsmith

• The Ageless: He doesn't seem to age. In the Christmas Special when he kidnaps Bernice's mother, he looks the same age as he does in the series.
• Back for the Finale: He returns in the final episode of the 2017 series, where it's revealed that he was the one behind the photobooth.
• Catchphrase: "You're my wife now!" and "Hello Dave!"
• Evil Is Hammy: He's one of the evilest characters (which is saying a lot) and also one of the most flamboyant and theatrical.
• Evil Plan: To turn people into circus animals. Even though it would just be easier to just get some ordinary circus animals.
• Humanoid Abomination: Whatever he is, he isn't human. And that's about all we know about him.
• I Have You Now, My Pretty: "You're my wife now!"
• Greater-Scope Villain: Is this for the 2017 anniversary specials as he is behind the planned fracking of the town and the abductions going on. Although this isn't revealed until the very end.
  • Is this for Reverend Bernice's character arc as him abducting her mother in front of her and traumatising Bernice as a child is what turned her into a cynical and unpleasant individual during the series.
• Karma Houdini: In Series 2, he and his circus fearfully flee Royston Vasey's nosebleed epidemic - but they still have the captured wives. He returns for more in Series 3, who, at the end, remain trapped inside the torso of a live elephant.
  • Averted in 2018 live show The League of Gentlemen Live Again when Edward, to rescue Tubbs, allies with Hilary Briss to blow up Papa Lazarou's wife mine.
    Edward: I'm sorry, Mr Lazarou - she's my wife, now!
• Magnetic Medium: While his "telecopathic powers" seem to be a sham in Series 2, in Series 3, he channels what seems to be the voice of recently deceased charity shop volunteer Vinnie Wythenshaw - although it's uncertain whether this is just an affectation to disturb her friend Reenie Calver.
• Monster Clown: One who owns a Circus of Fear, at that.
• Not a Mask: He's not a white guy in blackface, that's his actual face.
• Obfuscating Stupidity: Calls people by the wrong name and flat-out ignores what people say to him. This is his way of confusing them enough to hand over their personal items and/or capture them.
• Phony Psychic: Oddly enough, even though he's a Humanoid Abomination who's Really 700 Years Old, his psychic act is an obvious and not even remotely convincing fake. Which makes it even weirder that he can do the Exorcist routine at will and speak to people in their deceased loves ones voice to torture them.
• Really 700 Years Old: When he goes through his Book of Wives in Season Three, some of the photos are clearly old, sepia ones that heavily imply that he's a lot older than he appears. There are more on the wall of his room, too.
• Skin-Tone Disguise: Normally he's a Humanoid Abomination who looks like a stereotypical blackface minstrel, but he uses make-up to look like a white man.
• Speaking Simlish: Sometimes lapses into a weird, menacing babble.
• Uncertain Doom: During the 2018 live tour when he remains in his wife mine as it collapses due to Edward's explosives.

Herr Wolff Lipp

"You have splashed all over me!"

Steve Pemberton

An effeminate teacher on an exchange trip from Duisberg who is also a predatory pederast with a fondness for school-age teenage boys. He's unhappily married to Lotte, who is disgusted by his perversions. He's tragic and pathetic rather than stone-cold evil, and the horrible things he does seem to be motivated out of loneliness and a desire to find love.

---

• Adaptational Heroism: Although he makes some indecent remarks several times, his predatory personality is massively toned down in the 2005 film, where he just wants a family of his own. He is shown to be distressed when he reads an article about the show in which he is described as repulsive and a one-note character.
• Abhorrent Admirer: To everyone he pursues through the course of the show.
• Bald of Evil: His altercation with Justin reveals he is wearing a wig and is actually mostly bald.
• Black Comedy Rape: Most of his scenes boil down to his attempts to do this.
• Camp Gay: A major part of his character, in addition to (perhaps) being a vampire.
• Character Catchphrase:
  • "Alles Klar?"
  • "A real good treat!(Mhm)"
• Depraved Homosexual: A perverted homosexual school teacher who buries a teenager alive for refusing his advances.
• Dodgy Toupee: It goes a way to reveal his bald head at the same time that his true character is revealed. Justin pulls it off after Lipp throws scalding coffee in his face to knock him out.
• Double Entendre: He's barely capable of getting a sentence out without making one, much to his chagrin.
• Funny Foreigner: He unwittingly says things that make him sound like a pedophile, which is ultimately revealed to be true. Things like "You are still erect" to mean "You are still awake".
• Gonk: Steve Pemberton achieved his look by taping his lower eyelids down and stuffing his top lip.
• I Just Want to Be Normal: He hates his status as a Flat Character who's only good for Double Entendre}}s and wants to break free.
• Karma Houdini: He never faces any retribution for burying Justin alive in the series 2 finale.
• Lover and Beloved: To be part of this type of relationship is his dream.
• Meaningful Name: "Wolff" for a sexual predator is rather fitting.
• New Job as the Plot Demands: "Yule Never Leave" reveal he used to be a choirmaster in the seventies and before he became a vampire.
• Our Vampires Are Different: Assuming Matthew's story is true, then Herr Lipp is a vampire who doesn't suffer any ill affect from direct exposure to sunlight, nor does he seem to require blood to survive.
• Punny Name: Herr Lipp sounds exactly like "hare lip"
• Slipping a Mickey: That Duisberg coffee looks suspicious.
• Stalker with a Crush: To Justin in series 2 and Matthew in "Yule Never Leave".
• Transparent Closet: He confesses his sexuality to Justin, who tries his hardest to feign surprise.
• Unwanted Spouse: To Lotte. It's mutual.
• Villain Decay: Seemingly played straight but actually inverted. His first story arc showed him as an immoral, sociopathic rapist who buried Justin alive just so he could keep him as a lover for his return to Vasey next year. His next appearance was the Christmas special, while he was still predatory, he was much more pathetic and sacrificed himself to save the boy who spurned him. This is part of a flashback however that happened around 27 years before his first appearance in Royston Vasey. Finally, in the movie he's shown as more of a sympathetic person who struggles against being written as a Flat Character. He also finds out he's great with kids (really!) and ultimately saves Vasey from destruction. However the film is widely deemed non-canon to the show.

Vinnie & Reenie

"The Spastics'll have it!"

Reece Shearsmith and Steve Pemberton, respectively

Vinnie Wythenshaw and Reenie Calver are two elderly women who work at the charity shop on Royston Vasey's high street, both are very energetic and pasonite about their job.

---

• A Day in the Limelight: They have multiple minor sketches in series 2 but are the focal point of the series 3 finale.
• And I Must Scream: At the end of their spotlight episode in series 3 Reenie is trapped in a crocodile by Papa Lazarou.
• British Teeth: This, along with the many blemishes on their faces help make them Gonks even by this show's standards.
• Character Catchphrase:
  • "No need to be rude, Dear!"
  • "(Do) You want a bag with that, Dear?"
  • "That Merryl!"
  • "It's good stuff(, it is)!"
• Dumb Blonde: Vinnie.
• Foil: Are this to Tubbs and Edward, they are also a pair of elderly shop keepers but aren't dangerous, just obnoxious and incompetent.
• Evil Is Petty: They remove pieces and rule booklets from the board games that come into their possession before putting them up for sale, for no real reason.
• For the Evulz: See their Evil Is Petty listing above.
• Gonk: Neither are very pleasant looking, in fact, they aren't far off from looking like cartoon witches.
• Hypocritical Humor: Frequently denounce Merryl for being incompetent, but are also highly unskilled at running the shop themselves.In addition they can be quite rude and have even stolen some of the items they have in stock, which flies in the face of their primary catchphrase.
• Iconic Item: Their many bags, especially the red bag from series 3.
• Killed Off for Real: Vinnie in the series 3 finale.
• Late to the Realization: Played for Drama when Reenie realizes that the newly delivered items belonged to Vinnie and that the latter has died.
• Motor Mouth: One of their main gags.
• No Inside Voice: Almost everything they say is shouted out in a shrill tone. Even when Reenie is breaking into a house with Brian to catch Papa Lazarou.
• Playing Sick: According to Reenie in the series 2 finale, they do this on Thursdays to avoid Merryl.
• Scatterbrained Senior: They are both this and it's the crux of many of their scenes.
• Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: "That Merryl", another worker at the charity shop who works on Thursdays and, if the pair are to be belived, has a very poor work ethic.
  • Addtionally, The Spastics, later renamed to The Scopes, another charity store on the high street.
• Skewed Priorities: They go into a panic when one of their plastic bags is blown out of a window and Vinnie goes to her grave trying to get it back.
• Vitriolic Best Buds: They bicker with and call each other rude just as much as they do the customers, yet are often seen together even out of work. Best seen when Reenie is devastated to find out that Vinnie is dead.
• What Happened to the Mouse?: Despite the Anniversary Special revealing that the people trapped in animals by Papa Lazarou were set free, Reenie is never mentioned which leaves her fate unknown.

Alvin Steele

"Should by a diverting weekend."

Mark Gatiss

The owner of The Windermiere hotel and passionate gardener. Despite his mild mannered personality he's married to Sunny, a self proclaimed "sexplorer" who has forced him into that lifestyle in spite of his reluctance.

---

• A Day in the Limelight: He only has a sub plot in one series 2 episode before starring in the fourth episode of series 3.
• The Bore: Alvin's fondness for telling the story about him and Sunny seeing a one man performance of Robin Hood not only makes him this but is based almost verbatim on a story told to Mark Gatiss by a hotel owner once. He is also this in the context of Sunny's swinger life style, best seen in series 3, where, while everyone else is talking about something sexual, Alvin is discussing his gardening.
• Character Catchphrase: "Home is the hunter!"
• Giftedly Bad: At the swinger life-style Sunny has roped him into, partly due to his slightly prudish nature, but mostly because of his cartoonishly boring interests and long winded stories.
• Henpecked Husband: Judith outright calls him this in series 3, adding a "pathetic" in front of it, just for good mesure.
• Mistaken for Murderer: Judith convinces him this will happen to them if they tell anyone what happened to Sunny, Daddy and the other sexplorers.
• Revealing Cover-Up: Alvin's attempt at hiding the bodies of the sexplorers under the dining room tables doesn't go as planned, mainly due to the bodies still being in vacuum suits which produce farts sounds at the slightest movement.
• Stepford Smiler: As soon as it becomes apparent that the person he's speaking to is going to seer the topic of discussion towards the sexual, Alvin's smile instantly becomes noticeably forced and completely fades in a few seconds. This tends to happen a lot.
• Useless Accessory: Alvin's neck brace serves only as a distinguishing prop to make him recognizable at a glance compared to Mark's other characters.

Introduced in Series 3

Dr. Ira Carlton

"Oh, so you're obsessional, which is a trait often ascribed to hypochondriacs."

Steve Pemberton

A very unempathetic doctor who refuses to treat patients with anything more than the most common tablets unless their willing "go private" and earn their treatment by winning party games at his house.

---

• Bald of Evil: He is a balding and sadistic man who abuses his position as a doctor to sate his appetite for the misery of others, in more ways than one.
• Character Catchphrase:"Go out, would you?"
• Dirty Old Man: This appears to be his motive for inviting Mrs. Beasley over but is Subverted as he only invites his patients over for party games to determine which one will receive treatment first.
• Dr. Jerk: The way he acts towards Mrs.Beasley in his first scene cements him as this. The way he acts towards his private patients later in the episode just amplifies it considerably.
• Establishing Character Moment: The first seen of Dr. Carlton exemplifies just how unempathetic he is. He tries everything he can to get rid of Gina and then only agrees to offer private treatment after relishing in her crying in pain due to her migraines.
• Psychopathic Manchild: He delights in slumber parties - competition in whose games prioritises his private patients' treatment.
• Sadist: He calmly eats a polo mint while his patient is crying her eyes out in front of him just to make sure she's THAT desperate to rid herself of migraines. After that we learn he forces his private patients to play kid's games and the losers are denied treatment for a whole week.
• Suddenly Shouting: When Mrs.Beasley suggest that she sees another doctor Carlton snaps back that "THEY WON'T TAKE YOU!".
• Would Hurt a Child: Downplayed as one of his "private" patients is an 8 year old with a recurring stomach ache, after losing a game of grandma's footsteps, the child is denied treatment for at least a week.

Owen Fallowfield

"The only things you ever regret are the things you never do."

Mark Gatiss

The mortician at Sr. Mary of Bethlehem Hospital who really loves his job.

---

• Affably Evil: A necrophiliac who became a mortician to satisfy his urges but is actually a rather personable and friendly man.
• Cheshire Cat Grin: Briefly flashes one to the camera as he's being taken away by the cops.
• Innocently Insensitive: Owen views the grizzly things that happened to people's loved one's bodies under his watch when he was less experienced as right old knee-slapping anecdotes.
• I Love the Dead: The punchline to the one prolonged scene he appears in is the reveal that he is exactly this and has taken advantage of his position to pleasure himself, the reveal is followed right away by a cop walking in and arresting him.

Barry and Glenn Baggs

"It's not my fault I'm large, tell her Glenn." "He's diabetic."

Steve Pemberton and Mark Gatiss, respectivley

A pair of cousins working a debt collectors for Joe Lisgoe. Barry is a polite, cowardly diabetic whilst Glenn is the more serious and competent of the two.

---

• Big Eater: Barry is always either eating or thinking about food.
• The Chew Toy: Barry is the butt of most jokes involving him, usually due to his weight, cowardly nature or both.
• Comically Missing the Point: Barry fails to realize he's only supposed to use force with uncooperative debtors.
• Goofy Buckteeth: Barry has a rather large overbite.
• Fat and Skinny: Barry's the fat one, Glenn's the skinny one.
• Fat Bastard: While Barry isn't much of a bastard, per say, he does work as a debt collector for a ruthless loan shark and proves himself to be capable of violence when pushed far enough by the end of the his sub-plot.
• Fat Idiot: Barry can best be described as this. The non-canon pantomime tour reveals this is Obfuscating Stupidity.
• Insistent Terminology: Any time Barry is called fat he interjects, specifying that he's "large".
• The Load: Odds are Glenn would be a pretty good debt collector if he didn't have to constantly put up with his cousin's antics.
• Minion with an F in Evil: Despite working for a cut throat loan shark like Lisgoe, Barry is a very meek, polite and cowardly man. Until he gets some "retraining" in dealing with troublesome debtors from his boss.
• Skewed Priorities: When Glenn and Barry not only fail to collect on a debt, but lose 15 pounds, Barry starts crying, not because he's now in even more hot water with his very violent boss, but because he can't buy ice cream.
• Thicker Than Water: Even though Barry always gets on his nerves, Glenn really does care about his cousin and worries more for Barry's sake than his own when they fail to collect, knowing Mr. Lisgoe will take it out on Barry.
• You Are Fat: Barry is very sensitive about his weight and any time it's brought up he only refers to himself as large. His insecurity is exploited by Lisgoe during their training role play. The biggest visual gag using his weight occurs when Lisoge throws him to the floor of his office (fashioned from a train car) which promptly starts swaying due to the weight imbalance.

Don Lynch

"Here we go, Geoffery. Welcome to the Salmon of Knowledge!"

Mark Gatiss

Geoff's old "friend" from the TAs, now working as a manager at the Salmon of Knowledge. Offers Geoff a job as a comedian at said club in series 3.

---

• The Bad Guy Wins: He successfully frames Geoff for a car-bombing which directly results in the road accident plot the series centers around.
• Cheshire Cat Grin: He almost always has a smug smirk on his face.
• Eyepatch of Power: Don wears an eye patch and was canonically in the TAs, he also carries himself as very influential and knowledgeable. He also happens to have ties to a terrorist organization.
• Greater-Scope Villain: Him choosing to use Geoff in his car-bombing plot results in Geoff stealing the Legz Akimbo van and causing the car crash all the main plots revolve around.
• Jerkass: As is to be expected of someone whose maintained a good relationship with Geoff Tipps off all people, for a prolonged length of time.
• Villain: Exit, Stage Left: After he frames Geoff he quits his job at the club he manages and is never mentioned again.
• Walking Spoiler: It's nigh-impossible to discuss Don without mentioning that he's evil and ultimately responsible for the series' main plot.

Tish Guppy

"Camden's such a rip-off, I love it."

Steve Pemberton

A Londoner and self-proclaimed Fag Hag, as well as the overbearing friend to Phil of the Legz Akimbo Theatre Company.

---

• Adaptational Dye-Job: During her sketch in the Live at Drury Lane stage show she has blonde hair tied in pigtails, while in series 3 she sports messy, dark brown hair with blue and red dyed streaks.
• Character Catchphrase: "I (just) love gay guys!"
• Fag Hag: She outright describes herself as this and her unbearable stereotyping of gay men is her main gimmick.
• The Friend Nobody Likes: Why Phil ever became friends with Tish is a really good question considering she just drags him around to listen to her stereotyping ramblings about gay men.
• Hate Sink: She fails to show any redeeming qualities in her appearance in either series 3 or "Live at Drury Lane".
• Innocently Insensitive: She seems completely oblivious to how offensive her backwards, superficial views on gay men are.
• Mad Libs Catchphrase: "[some random tangent or stereotype] D'you know what I mean by that?"
• Motor Mouth: Tish almost never lets anyone around her get a word before she goes on another tangent.
• Politically Incorrect Villain: Her whole thing is being a Fag Hag that only thinks of gay man as substitutes for gal pals and views them solely through stereotypes.

Daddy

"Mr Steele?... I believe you are expecting me."

Steve Pemberton

A secretive "sex scientist" who’s come to The Windermiere to demonstrate his latest creation, an auto-erotic asphyxiation device known as The Medusa.

---

• Hoist by His Own Petard: Zigzagged as he's the only guest at The Windermiere who doesn't die in the medusa, whovever, his last words before his fatal heart attack imply it may have been caused by him testing the device on himself.
• Older Than They Look: Played for Laughs. He looks to be in his mid to late fifties but is in fact 40. Immediately after revealing this information he suffers a fatal heart attack, which leads to the deaths of the other sexplorers.
• Serious Business: He takes erotic experiments so seriously that before he reveals his creation, he gives a presentation on the history of auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Judith Buckle

"One day we won't have to live like this, stolen moments and heated passion."

Reece Shearsmith

An employee and Royston Vasey's garden center and mistress to Alvin Steele in his feature episode in series 3.

---

• The Bore: Just like Alvin, she isn't exactly good at keeping people interested. In her case it's even worse given her completely flat voice.
• Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick: When we're first introduced to Judith she's pitching an insecticide to a customer at the garden center by listing pests it's effective against. The last species she lists off? Domestic cats.
• Creepy Monotone: Downplayed, but her voice can certainly come across as off, especially when she incredibly calmly discusses hiding 10 dead bodies with Alvin and proves how Genre Savvy she is.
• Does This Remind You of Anything?: Her conversation with Alvin at the garden center is a gold mine of examples for this trope.
• Genre Savvy: She instantly realizes that no one would believe her and Alvin if they told the authorities what really happened to the sexplorers and the they would be Mistaken For Murderers.

Noel & Nancy Glass

"Casey, speak when you're spoken to!"

Reece Shearsmith and Steve Pemberton, respectively

A wealthy couple and the over competitive parents (or in Nancy's case, step-parent) to child pageant entrant, Casey Glass. It's rather obvious they're only entering Casey into the pageants for the sake of Nancy's ego.

---

• Abusive Parents: The fact they essentially treat their daughter as an item to use in contests and yell at her almost every time they address her, best seen when they answer questions for her and, when she asks for directions to the toilet, they scream at her, telling her to only speak when spoken to.
• Bald of Evil: Noel is one of the most abusive parents in the show and has a rather prominent bald spot which he usually covers up with a wide-brimmed hat.
• Happily Married: If the couple can be said to have any positive qualities, it's that they really do love each other.
• Hate Sink: Every scene they're in just sets the bar for their behavior lower and lower.
• Stage Mom: In a rare example, applies to both parents, though Nancy does have more emotional investment in the pageants, as she's using them to live vicariously.
• Stealing the Credit: After seeing another girl in the pageant in a Cleopatra costume they can later be heard telling their private costume design to make a Cleopatra costume for Casey's next pageant.
• Vicariously Ambitious: Nancy specifically, as when Noel is speaking on the phone to their costume designer saying that "she won" he hands the phone to Nancy so she can express her excitement while holding the trophy that was awarded to Casey.
• Wicked Stepmother: Not only is Nancy just as abusive to Casey as Noel is, but it's implied the reason Noel started acting that way in the first place is because his new wife was Vicariously Ambitious.

Terry & Anne

Reece Shearsmith and Steve Pemberton, respectively

Terry Lollard and Anne Hand are a pair of door-to-door advertisers working for a religious organization that also deals in renovations. Terry is and irritable man with a thin mask of politeness, whilst Anne is a mentally disabled woman with child-like mannerisms.

---

• Blatant Lies: Terry claims that what are obviously drawings are in fact photographs, if the one woman we see him and Anne advertising to is any indication, he tends to have trouble convincing people that he's correct on the matter.
• British Teeth: Terry's teeth are are very yellow as well as crooked and spread widely apart.
• Gonk: Given his teeth, unibrow and messy circle beard, Terry is one of the most visually unappealing characters in the show.
• Hair-Trigger Temper: Terry very quickly drops the amicable persona he has at the start of his sketch and ends up screaming at the woman he's advertising to and pushing Anne to the ground.
• Jerkass: What little we see of Terry paints him as a very unpleasant individual, from his sleazy sales tactics to his violent and explosive temper.
• Womanchild: Anne is quite possibly the most mentally deficient character in the entire franchise. She covers her face in fear of a simplistic drawing of Hell, has to be pulled away from a door by Terry when no one answers it and barely reacts when Terry later pushes her to the ground.

---