- Chronic Backstabbing Disorder: When it comes to Fantasy Football.
- Jerkass: All of them, with Ruxin being the worst.
Peter "Pete" EckhartThe most successful of the League, having won the Shiva three times (although the last time was 2008, in the backstory).
- Brilliant, but Lazy
- Even Evil Has Standards: He won't throw twelve-year-olds girls soccer match.
- Informed Ability: His prowess at fantasy football. While he hasn't landed the Sacko, Pete hasn't won since the series started, despite having the best record in the league.
Kevin MacArthurAn assistant District Attorney and the League Commissioner. Won the Shiva in the controversial 2011 season (season 3)
- Butt-Monkey: In addition to things usually going badly for him and the won time he won the Shiva he had to give up his Commissioner's position to keep it from being thrown out.
- Happily Married: To Jenny, despite some turbulence.
- Un Favorite: Despite being a lawyer, a father and far more rational and sane, Kevin's mother constantly asks why he can't be as successful as Taco.
Rodney RuxinA Lawyer. Won the Shiva in 2010 (season 2), then won the Sacko in 2011 (causing him to have a stroke) and 2012 (seasons 3 and 4).
- Alliterative Name
- Amoral Attorney
- Also his father and sister.
- Cannot Convey Sarcasm
- Catchphrase: "Forever Unclean!"
- Creepy Monotone: He was once impersonated by the speech computer of a man with ALS.
- Consummate Liar
- Four Eyes, Zero Soul: A trait he shares with his father
- Hoist by His Own Petard
- Last-Name BasisSomebody: Rodney!Ruxin: Everybody calls me Ruxin.
- Nice Jewish Boy: Thoroughly averted. Ruxin is a lapsed Jew and a massive asshole.
- Villainous Breakdown: To the point where he has a stroke
- Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: Mrs. Ruxin is played by Nadine Velasquez.
Dr. Andre NowzickA plastic surgeon and Butt-Monkey. Won the Shiva in 2009 and 2014 (seasons 1 and 6), thus making him the second most successful in the League. Won the Sacko in 2010 (season 2)
- Butt-Monkey: As noted in his description. The rest of the League generally spend a quarter of every conversation taking the piss out of him.
- The Friend Nobody Likes:Is pretty much only part of the group's social circle to be verbally shat on and take a spot in the League.
- Hipster: Has shades of this in how he dresses and some of his attempts at hobbies.
- No Social Skills: His
- Self-Serving Memory: Numerous times about his past and his standing with the crew. He's under the impression he bullied everyone on the team when in fact he was the one bullied constantly.
- One episode shows Andre remembering telling a joke in a suave manner and Kevin and Taco laughing and complimenting him on his greatness. We then see the reality of the joke being dumb and the two just brushing Andrew off as an idiot.
- Small Name, Big Ego: Thinks he's far more competent at his various hobbies than he actually is.
- Upper-Class Twit: One of the richest members of the League and tends to spend that money on various hobbies that no one else cares about.
Taco MacArthurProfessional moocher and Kevin's brother. Won the Shiva (under unexplained circumstances) in 2006 (backstory) and the Sacko in 2014 (season 6).
- Cloud Cuckoolander
- "Flowers for Algernon" Syndrome: Inverted in "Flowers for Tacho". After being sober for the first time since he was 8, he's perfectly happy being smart. However, the rest of the League is not (mainly because they now cannot beat him), and force him to get high again.
- Genius Ditz: He is very skilled in music and having sex.
- Karma Houdini
- Obfuscating Stupidity
- Parental Favoritism: For reasons that baffle everyone, Kevin and Taco's mother somehow believes Taco is the more successful and honorable of the two brothers.
- Really Gets Around: He was able to travel the world for several months, without spending any money, by relying his Eskimo Brothers (men* who have had sex with women he has also had sex with).
Jenny MacArthurReal estate agent and Kevin's wife. Gave her husband much needed fantasy football advice, until she got her own spot in the League in 2010 (season 2).
- The Man Behind the Man: To Kevin until she got her own spot in the League
VinceAn out-of-town player, who left the League before the 2010 season (season 2). Was replaced by Rafi, who was then replaced a few weeks later by Jenny.
- The Ghost: Unlike the other Out of Towners he never showed up in person.
ChuckAn out-of-town player.
TedAn out-of-town player. Dies of AIDS after the 2013 season (season 5).
Shivakamini SomakandarkramThe namesake of the Shiva.
Sofia RuxinRuxin's wife
- Odd Friendship: With Taco, the only member of The League she likes (possible because he isn't interested in football).
- Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: Hot Wife to Ruxin's Ugly Guy. Ruxin fully owns up to it.
- Guest-Star Party Member: Was part of The League for the first four episodes of season 2. They quickly regret this and have to trick him into leaving.
- Jerkass: Is far worse than the League which is really, really saying something.
- The Sociopath: The man has no limit to what he will do.
Dirty RandyRafi's best friend and partner-in-crime. A full time librarian and porn director.
- Anything That Moves: Including Rafi.
- Improbable Weapon User: Once threatened Ruxin with a trident made of dildos.
- The Pungeon Master: Believes puns are as vital to the porn business.
Baby Geoffrey RuxinRuxin's son.
- Artifact Title: He's still called Baby Geoffrey long after he grows out of being one.