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     The League 

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Peter "Pete" Eckhart

The most successful of the League, having won the Shiva three times (although the last time was 2008, in the backstory).

Kevin MacArthur

An assistant District Attorney and the League Commissioner. Won the Shiva in the controversial 2011 season (season 3)
  • Butt-Monkey: In addition to things usually going badly for him and the won time he won the Shiva he had to give up his Commissioner's position to keep it from being thrown out.
  • Happily Married: To Jenny, despite some turbulence.
  • Un Favorite: Despite being a lawyer, a father and far more rational and sane, Kevin's mother constantly asks why he can't be as successful as Taco.

Rodney Ruxin

A Lawyer. Won the Shiva in 2010 (season 2), then won the Sacko in 2011 (causing him to have a stroke) and 2012 (seasons 3 and 4).

Dr. Andre Nowzick

A plastic surgeon and Butt-Monkey. Won the Shiva in 2009 and 2014 (seasons 1 and 6), thus making him the second most successful in the League. Won the Sacko in 2010 (season 2)
  • Butt-Monkey: As noted in his description. The rest of the League generally spend a quarter of every conversation taking the piss out of him.
  • The Friend Nobody Likes:Is pretty much only part of the group's social circle to be verbally shat on and take a spot in the League.
  • Hipster: Has shades of this in how he dresses and some of his attempts at hobbies.
  • No Social Skills: His
  • Self-Serving Memory: Numerous times about his past and his standing with the crew. He's under the impression he bullied everyone on the team when in fact he was the one bullied constantly.
    • One episode shows Andre remembering telling a joke in a suave manner and Kevin and Taco laughing and complimenting him on his greatness. We then see the reality of the joke being dumb and the two just brushing Andrew off as an idiot.
  • Small Name, Big Ego: Thinks he's far more competent at his various hobbies than he actually is.
  • Upper-Class Twit: One of the richest members of the League and tends to spend that money on various hobbies that no one else cares about.

Taco MacArthur

Professional moocher and Kevin's brother. Won the Shiva (under unexplained circumstances) in 2006 (backstory) and the Sacko in 2014 (season 6).
  • Cloud Cuckoolander
  • "Flowers for Algernon" Syndrome: Inverted in "Flowers for Tacho". After being sober for the first time since he was 8, he's perfectly happy being smart. However, the rest of the League is not (mainly because they now cannot beat him), and force him to get high again.
  • Genius Ditz: He is very skilled in music and having sex.
  • Karma Houdini
  • Obfuscating Stupidity
  • Parental Favoritism: For reasons that baffle everyone, Kevin and Taco's mother somehow believes Taco is the more successful and honorable of the two brothers.
  • Really Gets Around: He was able to travel the world for several months, without spending any money, by relying his Eskimo Brothers (men who have had sex with women he has also had sex with).

Jenny MacArthur

Real estate agent and Kevin's wife. Gave her husband much needed fantasy football advice, until she got her own spot in the League in 2010 (season 2).

Vince

An out-of-town player, who left the League before the 2010 season (season 2). Was replaced by Rafi, who was then replaced a few weeks later by Jenny.
  • The Ghost: Unlike the other Out of Towners he never showed up in person.

Chuck

An out-of-town player.

Ted

An out-of-town player. Dies of AIDS after the 2013 season (season 5).

Shivakamini Somakandarkram

The namesake of the Shiva.

     Family 

Sofia Ruxin

Ruxin's wife
  • Odd Friendship: With Taco, the only member of The League she likes (possible because he isn't interested in football).
  • Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: Hot Wife to Ruxin's Ugly Guy. Ruxin fully owns up to it.

Rafi

Sofia's Brother.
  • Guest-Star Party Member: Was part of The League for the first four episodes of season 2. They quickly regret this and have to trick him into leaving.
  • Jerkass: Is far worse than the League which is really, really saying something.
  • The Sociopath: The man has no limit to what he will do.

Dirty Randy

Rafi's best friend and partner-in-crime. A full time librarian and porn director.

Baby Geoffrey Ruxin

Ruxin's son.
  • Artifact Title: He's still called Baby Geoffrey long after he grows out of being one.

Ellie MacArthur

Kevin and Jenny's first child.

Chalupa-Batman MacArthur

Kevin and Jenny's second child. Kevin sold his naming rights to Ruxin so that the 2011 season (season 3) would not be voided. Ruxin then sold the right to Taco in exchange for his first round draft pick. Taco then chose the name "Chalupa-Batman". While Kevin and Jenny have since renamed the baby Christopher the League still refers to him as Chalupa Batman.
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