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Who said Raiders can't have an innocent sense of humor?
As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked as per policy. You Have Been Warned.

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  • The surprisingly common occurence of firing a lethal shot at an enemy that results in the body getting Blown Across the Room, but with the head staying in place and subsequently falling to the ground.
  • Shortly after leaving Sanctuary, you are likely to come across a gas station with your first companion, Dogmeat. The name of said gas station? Red Rocket.
  • During "The Big Dig" with Bobbi and Mel, you run across one of the Port-A-Diners that have inexplicably well preserved pieces of 200-year old pie in it.
    Mel: Yeah...I wouldn't touch that pie. I don't trust anything that looks that perfectly preserved after 200 years.
    • Bobbi and Mel also have some amusing banter.
    Bobbi: (*after breaking through a wall, revealing a railroad track*) Then we're on the right track.
    Mel: Ah...I see what you did there.
    Bobbi: What? No.
  • Back in all its "raider-decapitating teddy bear" glory is the Junk Jet (formerly, the Rock-It Launcher).
    Loading Screen Tip: You haven't lived until you've killed someone with a teddy bear.
    • Likewise, the Fat Man returns with its "launch a Mini-Nuke directly into your enemies' faces" glory, but with an added bonus - it now comes complete with a cartoonish Bomb Whistle as it flies right into your target's mug.
    • In addition, the loading screen tip for the Broadsider is just as silly.
      Loading Screen Tip: The Broadsider is the answer to the age old question: "Would it be fun to walk around shooting people with a portable naval cannon?" Yes. Yes, it would.
  • Cannibalism is bad; it just seems plain disturbing for one person to eat something that looks almost exactly like them. Then you have some of your companion's reactions to you doing it.
    Cait: Ugh... look, I kicked me drug habit... how about we start workin' on yer... uh... corpse habit?
    Curie: Is this sort of... dining... common now?
    Danse: I've heard of coming up with improvised field rations... but that's just disgusting.
    Deacon: You aren't seriously... Yes, yes you are.
    Hancock: At least you had the politeness to wait until they're dead.
    MacCready: Hey, I... uh, think you've got a little bit of brain caught in your teeth.
    Nick: What're you...? Oh./Now I understand why people end up vegetarians.
    Piper: (visibly sickened) Eugh... remind me to never... die in your presence.
    Strong: (in a sing-song lecturing voice) Liver and heart are best parts! note 
    Strong: (In a whiny tone of voice like he just learned his friend has been eating his favorite snack and didn't mention he had any) Strong hungry too. Save some for Strong!
  • Mixed with tearjerker, the first person that the Sole Survivor speaks to after leaving the vault is their faithful robot butler, Codsworth, who then informs them that they're 210 years late for dinner.
    • Also in a bit of Black Comedy, Codsworth's tale of woe and horror of trying to wax nuclear radiation out of the floors, dusting in a collapsed house and trying to polish rust of your car for all those centuries.
      Codsworth: I spent the first ten years or so trying to keep the floor waxed...but nothing gets out nuclear fallout from vinyl wood! Nothing! And don't get me started on the futility of trying to dust a collapsed house! And the car! The CAR! HOW DO YOU POLISH RUST?!
  • A bit of a tearjerker as well, but the sheer obliviousness of the various robots you meet across the Commonwealth is oftentimes hilarious. Like this gem from a Utility Protectron:
    Utility Protectron: Warning. Union violation detected. Last recorded break was 9999 hours ago.
    • Or this one:
    Medic Protectron: (upon seeing a raider's body that has been mutilated beyond recognition by a minigun) This patient appears to need a coroner.
    • Curie embodies this - as she's spent her entire "life" living in a vault, with only a few scientists (until they died) and everything she knows is based on what she's learned, second hand, about what things were like before the war. So, the first time she actually gets to experience this world, is after the bombs fell. This leads to numerous hilarious assumptions on her part - like asking you if a coroner shouldn't be doing this, when you loot a corpse, getting excited about shopping when seeing a Super Mutant infested department store, and even asking if you could take her to Los Angeles, when you arrive at the Boston Airport.
  • Apparently, Deacon was taking a bet with Drummer Boy on your surviving the first infiltration of the Institute. Thanks to your tenacity, Deacon is now 100 caps richer.
  • A Vault-Tec representative meets you at your front door to have you apply for a place in a Vault. When you're done and he begins to walk away saying his goodbyes, you can just slam the door in his face. Even better, he says 'good-bye' in an annoyed tone, like he's happy to not be talking to the visitor.
    • Not only does he somehow manage to survive as a Ghoul, but it's possible to meet him later on in the game, complaining about how, among other things, no one in the Commonwealth wants someone with two centuries of Vault-Tec sales experience. You can offer him to come live in your settlement.
  • If you use console commands to spawn a Deathclaw in the prologue, when you're running to the safety of Vault 111, your spouse will attack it with the only weapon on hand: baby Shaun.
    • On a more meta level, this seems to imply that Shaun is coded as a melee weapon.
    • In reality, it's just as funny - Shaun is classified as Armor worn on either the left or right wrist.
  • Speaking of Vaults, Vault 114 was designed to see what would happen if the appointed Overseer was a person who had no leadership skills whatsoever, indeed, someone with anarchist leanings or possible antisocial tendencies, while the rest of the vault housed various bigwigs of Boston society. In the Overseer's office, you stumble across one of the interview tapes with "Soup Can Harry" - so called because he refuses to "wear the rank and number the government brands on me, no sir!" They promptly made him the Overseer. He declared he'd accept the job, but not wear a tie for it. Or pants.
    Soup Can Harry: I've seen the back of them Abraxo boxes! "Not for consumption"? Don't you tell me what to do, I'll eat what I want!
    • Arguably one of the funnier things about that vault, though, is how it was constructed, given that the other part of its purpose was to gauge the resident's stress and reactions to living in a vault that had been advertised as being luxurious to the standards of the upper class... when in reality, the vault was cramped, possessed nothing in the way of luxury, consisted of multiple beds in single-apartment quarters and communal toilets that provided privacy in the form of curtains. If only it had been completed...
    • As well, a potential comment Danse can make when exploring the vault shows that people have figured out how Vault-Tech operated:
    Danse: I bet a month's pay that we'll find an illicit experiment gone awry inside this vault.
  • Codsworth will say certain player names in conversation. This includes names like John, Howard, and Fuckface. Codsworth even seems to enjoy saying a few of the more profane ones:
    "Mister Fuck!"
    "Mister Orgasmo~"
  • Accompanying the voice acting, some conversations have a "sarcastic" option. Most of the lines are deadpan snarker, and it's pretty clear the voice actor had some fun recording these lines. Several compilations have been made.
  • In the Concord Speakeasy, there's a small room that has a skeleton in a bathtub, surrounded by mannequins holding machetes. One of them has a plunger, and the skeleton's skull is lodged in the toilet. There's even a skeleton having a — *ahem* — pleasant time with a female nude mannequin with a bottle of booze.
    • There's also a man who seemed to die absolutely content with life, wearing his best clothes and a pair of sunglasses gripping a bottle of milk, cigar clutched in his skeleton's teeth, lap full of money, and a teddy bear by his side. The teddy bear is also wearing sunglasses, a hat and has a cigar.
    • Somewhere in Concord, if you explore one of the buildings, you'll come across two skeletons who died while in the middle of a fist fight with one bent over a safe being strangled by the other. They're both dressed in fancy suits so it was clearly pre-War era, possibly around the time of the Great War. Nice to know they had priorities.
    • Near the Corvega Assembly Plant, there's a line of skeletons in civilian clothing outside of one of the Pulowski Preservation shelters that are found around the Commonwealth and Capital Wasteland. Inside the shelter is a skeletonized soldier clutching a mini nuke. Apparently, Lieutenant Bony thought the best way to ride out the Great War was to hunker down in a "nuke proof" pod with his own WMD.
    • On Spectacle Island in the south-east, there's an outhouse hanging over the water. Inside are two skeletons - a skeleton in a dress sitting on the toilet holding a wooden paddle, and another skeleton in trousers and a jacket slung over her lap, rear raised for her.
  • The "Curtain Call" quest, in which you first meet Strong, is this whenever Rex and Strong are involved. Rex thought he could teach Super Mutants to not be the monsters they are by bringing them "culture". After mocking him profusely at the prospect of Macbeth and the "milk of human kindness," they locked him in... as well as Strong, because he was the only one to take Rex seriously. What did they plan to do with Strong? Throw him off the roof. They were apparently taking bets on how many times he'd bounce. After that explanation, we get this gem:
    Rex: Little did they know there was a radio in here.
    Strong: They know. You bait to catch more humans.
  • You can find a Fancy Hairbrush on a Deathclaw. What is it even doing there exactly? Do Deathclaws keep little dolls to play with?
    • It's probably a Development Gag. Deathclaws were originally envisioned to have hair, but it never made it in. Then Tactics came out and had hairy Deathclaws, much to the consternation of fans.
  • Moe Cronin in Diamond City interprets baseball as a Blood Sport where the players beat each other to death with the bats, or "swatters", as he calls them. If you explain the way baseball is actually played, Moe looks petulant and replies "I like my version better." You can also correct him to say it was even more violent, and from attacking the audience too, the phrase "spectator sport" was born.
    • The fact that correcting him starts with the phrase "Hey, dumbass". The Sole Survivor obviously has no tolerance for this Future Imperfect nonsense.
      • It gets better with companions involved - Piper, for example, calls the version of baseball you describe as horrible... for about three seconds, before she manages to catch on that you're messing with him.
  • Also in Diamond City is Sheng, a young boy who sells water, that enlists the Sole Survivor's help cleaning out the water supply - one of the five items is a human skull. When asked about it, he simply explains that he'd gotten someone else's help first, but they ran afoul of an unstable hand grenade.
  • If you visit Diamond City's science center, and talk to Dr. Duff with the subtitles on, they confirm that yes, she's pronouncing "science" as "Science!"
  • Some Diamond City guards have commentary on your companions around the city. Some are sad, some are heartwarming (the ones for Nick, especially) but others are good for a quick chuckle. Which is made funnier by their thick Boston accents, somehow:
    (On Codsworth) "Oh, man, you got a robot butler? I want a robot butler!"
    (On Deacon) "You know, your friend looks kinda familiar... maybe."
    (Curie) "What kinda guy pals around with a robot? You're not a synth, are ya?" (Made funnier by the fact that this occurs even if Curie is in a female human body)
  • You'll find at least a dozen gray tabbies prowling around Eustace Hawthorne's apartment in Diamond City. Apparently, the Crazy Cat Lady trope is still alive and well 200 years after the nuclear apocalypse.
  • To enter the town of Covenant, your character is subjected to a small test first which turns out to be the G.O.A.T.! Even funnier is what they're trying to use it for: It's some kind of synth screening. Using an entrance exam?! ...Including torture at times...and, surprisingly, they actually successfully located a Synth!
  • There's a Protectron named Takahashi selling food in Diamond City that says only one phrase, and it's in Japanese (Na-ni shimasho-ka, or "What will you have?"). Everyone had learned to simply say 'yes', because that's the only English word it understands. Companions will have various reactions to it, many of which are amusing.
    • Deacon and Piper have "conversations" with Takahashi, pretending that his one phrase contains loads of secret information.
    • Codsworth engages in a pleasant conversation with the robot in English, and tells Takahashi to keep up hope someone will find the parts to fix him. Notably Codsworth's dialogue strongly implies that Takahashi is fully able to converse with other robots using nonverbal means just not with humans who can only hear his broken vocalizer.
    • Curie will attempt to talk to it as well, even introducing herself in basic Japanese. She doesn't get anything out of him either, though, and will conclude that he must be broken.
    • And Paladin Danse? He doesn't know the difference between Japanese and Chinese and accuses the robot of being a communist agent.
      • Back on Takahashi himself, there's the meta-humor in the fact that he's voiced by none other than Shinji Mikami. Yes, the creator of Resident Evil is in Fallout...and they only gave him one line of dialog. This is only made funnier by Nora, Mac Cready, and Danse himself being played by actors who've played characters in that series (Courtenay Taylor was Ada Wong for a time, often opposite Matthew Mercer as Leon Kennedy, and Peter Jessop played Albert Wesker in the Resident Evil remake).
  • After defeating Kellogg, the Brotherhood makes an entrance with the Prydwen and dozens of Vertibirds. From that point onward, they'll show up randomly hovering in the air, usually to fight some bandits. Prepare for a complete Curb-Stomp Battle in which the Raiders actually do the sensible thing and shoot the pilot. Vertibirds crashing down left and right are a frequently-occurring and hilarious sight... but sometimes the curbstomp gets inverted when a very angry Brotherhood Paladin in full power armor climbs out of the wreckage relatively unscathed and proceeds to melt every Raider in sight with a gatling laser.
    • This can also have an amusing effect during conversations with NPCs if a battle starts nearby that you're not involved in. One second, you're casually chatting with someone on the streets, the next there's a fireball and dead BoS soldiers all around you. Or with your chat partner with a fan blade through the nogging.
    • In a related bit of funny, after the Minutemen use artillery to shoot down the Prydwen, the Brotherhood attacks The Castle at point blank range in Vertibirds to prevent getting shot down by the same artillery, only for the Minutemen to shoot the pilots as well... and then realize that the only place the Vertibird is going to crash is right on top of them. By the end of the battle, The Castle is littered with Vertibird wreckage and is on fire. And since this happens immediately after the Minutemen destroy The Institute, it's entirely possible that Shaun is waiting to be picked up at the Castle, and is suddenly dodging crashing vertibirds, laser muskets and power-armored paladins. Yeah... you're not exactly a great parent...
  • If you learn Nick's business from Piper, the Sarcastic option is to ask if Valentine's is a brothel. She actually finds it funny.
  • When Nick tells you to get a piece of Kellogg's brain, Piper will respond with her best 4th grader at sex ed impression:
    Piper: Jesus, Nick, gross! Seriously?
  • Destroying the Prydwen with Liberty Prime, as well as all the children and innocents on board? More awesome and Tear Jerker than funny. MacCready's and Strong's reactions, though? Priceless:
    MacCready: Man... seeing that airship go down in flame... Yeah... remind me never to piss you off.
    Strong: Hah! Strong knew that building couldn't fly forever! Had to fall.
    Preston: Hm. The Institute sure doesn't do things half-way, do they?
  • Speaking of robots, one of the early-game settlements is a former hippie co-op farm whose owners were apparently associated with the Robot Liberation Front, currently populated by feral ghouls and radroaches and one Stoner-esque "Liberated" Mr. Handy named "Professor Goodfeels". Apparently, the former occupants attempted to "liberate" him by resetting his core motivational programming to "Just Be". "Grooooooovyyy!" Better yet? You can reprogram him to go into combat mode to help you clear out the town. His voice stays the same, but he shouts "Exterminate!", making him sound like a stoner Dalek.
  • For radio DJ's, we've had Three Dog in Fallout 3 and Mr. New Vegas in Fallout New Vegas. In Fallout 4? We've got Travis Miles, a shy and awkward young man who clearly isn't cut out for the job, at least until you complete his personal quest.
    Travis: I think, uh... I think it'd be a lot safer to just, ah, stay here and... play musi[thud] Gyeow— WHY... DO THESE OBJECTS... KEEP MOVING?!? ...[sigh]... Because I put them there. And then I forget.
    • Even better: If Travis somehow dies, he's replaced with... Sheng Kawolski, the resident water purifier kid.
      Sheng: Hey, so uhh... that Travis guy is dead? This is Sheng Kawolski. I guess I'll play the music from now on!
  • Before his personal quest is finished, you know it's funny when Travis, of all people, begins sniggering at the meaning behind Todd Rhodes' Rocket 69.
  • This quote from a Diamond City guard.
  • The tour of Henry David Thoreau's cabin at Walden Pond:
    Automated Tour: Hello. Welcome to Walden Pond. You are now standing in front of the cabin inhabited by transcendentalist writer and philosopher Henry David Thoreau, starting in the summer of 1845. For two years, two months, and two days, Thoreau lived in this cabin, hoping to gain a more objective understanding of society. This was influenced by Thoreau's interest in transcendentalist philosophy, which believed that people were at their best when truly self-reliant. By living off the land with few material possessions, Thoreau proved it skeptical to think that any outward improvement of life could bring inner peace and happiness.
    • There's also a couple of raiders nearby talking, if you don't kill or alert them first. One of them mentions how 'that guy' was so Crazy-Prepared, that's why it's called..."being Thoreau" (pronounced 'thorough')
  • Up until you learn that he's a synth, Paladin Danse will always wear Power Armor, so you can't change his clothes. But you can take his clothes off somehow underneath it. When you finally encounter him at the base he's hiding out at, he won't be wearing his Power Armor. Needless to say, the whole situation undergoes a pretty big case of Narm when you're trying to convince him to keep on living and he's wearing nothing but his underwear.
  • Either many people have the same sense of humor, or someone traveled all across the Commonwealth posing teddy bears along the way. Examples include: sitting on the toilet reading a newspaper, driving a bus, having sex with another teddy bear, two of them with beers playing chess, etc.
  • Taking Psycho, especially for the first time, can be hilarious if the right quote is said. While sometimes it causes your character to let out an inhuman scream, occasionally it instead makes your character yell "FUCKIN' KILL!" in their best death metal voice, which ends up sounding quite hammy. Considering the Sole Survivor's usual calm temperament, the sheer out-of-nowhere nature of the outburst can make it hilarious.
    • In the same vein, so does the effects of Nerd Rage.
      Sole Survivor: Sonuva - muthaFUGGIN' FUCK!
    • Taking Jet also prompts your character to make an enthusiastic quip. But due to the Bullet Time effect it has, your voice becomes a hilariously deep and demonic "YEAH!"
      • And then there's Psychojet. You get the death metal lines of Psycho, slowed down by the jet!
  • The fact that getting killed by a Super Mutant Suicider nets you an achievement, called "Touchdown!" Especially if you're someone who's been playing Bethesda's RPGs for a long time knowing that there's never been such an enemy, and now just left thinking "Wait, did he just suicide bomb me?!"
    • The text for Touchdown is 'Catch a football'. You can also get it from getting shot in the face with a mini-nuke.
    • On a more meta level, Super Mutant Suiciders can be forced to blow up by crippling their right arm, even if they're not actually carrying their mini nuke. If you can do it in one shot, you'll notice that the radius within which other Super Mutants notice and react to a Suicider's explosion is smaller than the radius at which they'll react to you shooting at or near them. Evidently they've gotten so used to Suiciders blowing themselves up on accident that they don't consider that, on its own, anything worth investigating anymore.
  • The achievement for killing 300 people? Masshole.
  • When you enter the area around Goodneighbor, you can tune into a radio station that plays a pre-war superhero serial called the Silver Shroud. This starts a quest wherein you help Kent, a ghoulified fan of the series, retrieve the Shroud's costume from a nearby comic book shop infested with feral ghouls. But that's not all. Your character then takes on the mantle of the Silver Shroud to kill various criminals (or what passes for it in Goodneighbor), and leave a calling card on their bodies. What makes it is that, throughout the quest, all of the dialog options have the ability to let you speak as the Silver Shroud, in all its hammy 1930s-style glory. It helps that this is one of the few instances in the game where the Sole Survivor emotes.
    Sole Survivor: Your crimes have gone unpunished for too long!
    • The quest requires you to tune in to the Silver Shroud's radio to get indications on who to kill next from Kent. This culminates with Sinjin breaking into his little studio to capture him, which gives us this gem of Pitch-Black Comedy.
    Sinjin: If you want to see your friend alive, Shroud, meet me at Milton General Hospital.
    Kent: Don't do it, Shroud, it's a trap. Save yourself!
    Kent: Oww, oww, oww! Oh my god, do it, Shroud. Do it. My knee! Ahh!
    • Once you confront Sinjin, you can choose to speak as the Shroud at every opportunity. Not only does this annoy Sinjin to no end, but it leads to his underlings freaking out and abandoning him.
    "The Silver Shroud": Death has come for you, evildoer, and its Shroud!
    Raider: It is the Shroud, it really is! Screw this!
    • If Nick Valentine's with you, he'll also sarcastically comment about how he not only remembers the original serial from his past life as a Pre-War cop, but also how he hated it.
    • When you have to get a quest from Hancock, he'll be delighted that he's no longer the only costumed freak killing bad guys in Goodneighbor.
    • In Automatron, you're given a few Shroud dialogue choices when you finally reach the Mechanist. Arguing with the Mechanist over which of them is the real bad guy is rightfully hammy.
    • If you visit Nuka-World wearing the Shroud's costume and choose the "Speak As Shroud" dialogue option, the Protectrons in Dry Rock Gulch will recognize you as a celebrity.
  • In a conversation with Nick after raising his affinity with you, Nick can relate the time that he stopped four slavers from taking a girl away. When asked how he took them all down he responds:
    Nick Valentine: I told them I was rigged to explode and started going "beep, beep, beep." Hardest part of that rescue was keeping from laughing as they climbed over each other to get away.
  • Deezer in Covenant is a Mr. Handy reprogrammed to give everyone lemonade and insist everyone get some. Nobody knows how he makes it without lemons, and he even offers Codsworth some. Codworth responds, "You bloody fool, you know I can't use it!"
    • Strong's conversation with Deezer deserves mention.
    Strong: What is lemon...aid?
    Deezer: Hm...a cultural barrier, I see! Just trust me, it's a marvelous elixir made with Deezer's own secret ingredients!
    Strong: Looks like piss.....tastes like piss.
  • Pretty much any time the Sole Survivor takes the "Sarcastic" dialogue option. Here's just a small sampling.
    • Extra points when doing it with Nick Valentine, who often matches the Survivor's wisecracks in Snark-to-Snark Combat:
      Sole Survivor: What? The great Clockwork Dick is stumped?
      Nick Valentine: It's Synth Detective, jackass! If you're gonna be that way, you might as well get the make and model right.
    • Special mention to this conversation with Sheffield.
      Sheffield: ...thirsty...Nuka-Cola...
      Sole Survivor: Drink. Some. Water.
  • If Nick Valentine is your companion when you're in a Brotherhood of Steel area, one of their rank-and-file initiates can scornfully remark that no machine should have free will. Nick's response?
    Nick Valentine: Why? You jealous you had to turn yours in?
  • The Sole Survivor can encounter a Mr. Gutsy who's spent the past 210 years patrolling the area for Chinese infiltrators. It demands proof of their identity. The only response which doesn't end in combat:
    Sole Survivor: Go fuck yourself, you crazy robot.
    Mr. Gutsy: Analyzing... American colloquialism confirmed. Probability of use by Chinese infiltrator: 0.3 percent. Thank you. Report any suspected communists to the proper authorities immediately! Have a nice day.
  • During the Hunter/Hunted quest, you're required to track down a Courser and extract its chip. When you initially come across him, he'll ask who you are. The Sole Survivor can respond with this:
    Sole Survivor: Uh, yeah; I'm here to pick up an order; two large pepperoni and a calzone. Name is Fuck You.
    • Made doubly better if you're wearing Power Armor while saying it; it sounds like it's coming through a little drive-thru speaker.
  • If you go to the hardware store on the way to Diamond City, you can overhear two Raiders talking about the ambush con they usually play on passing wastelanders. One talks about this one guy who was led inside, but as soon as the Raiders jumped him, he started throwing out 'grenades' that sent them into cover. It took them a few seconds to realize the guy was just throwing painted rocks and making explosion sounds. Then he started making machine gun sounds as he moved out through the door, and then started making motorcycle sounds as he ran away. The Raiders were too dumbfounded to go after him.
  • Your settlements can be infiltrated by synths armed with Institute weaponry! Which is bad. Sometimes these synth infiltrators are Brahmin... and searching them yields synth components, and sometimes Institute Weaponry as well. No, seriously. Which is just weird. What was the Institute even trying to accomplish with that one, anyway?
  • You might come across a wrecked ship called the FMS Northern Star that's populated by a band of raiders. Except that said raiders turn out to be literally post-apocalyptic ghoul Vikings who wield guns instead of swords and speak entirely in Norwegian.
  • The restored Liberty Prime manages to be as hammy as ever. But what takes the cake is how he manages to break a hole into the Institute's hidden underground facility: by nuking the entrance.
    Liberty Prime: Warning: subterranean Red Chinese compound detected. Obstruction depth: five meters. Composition: sand, gravel, and communism!
  • Because of the new system where speech with characters happen while the game's world still moves, it's possible for you to be chatting with someone, hearing gunfire in the background, followed by an explosion and screaming.
  • As poignant as the Live Action intro is, there's something to be said about the Fallout world that a ludicrously bulky Pip-Boy prototype is referred to as a "portable computer."
  • Pacifying animals with the Animal Friend perk can result in some great lines.
    Great stag! I am friend!
    For the sea kingdom! Destroy!
    Grrrrrr. You ready?
    Bzzzzzzzzz. Kill! Infest!
  • The lines used when returning the egg of a deathclaw are arguably the funniest, as it's clear the Sole Survivor is scared out of their wits, and desperately trying not to piss off the giant man-eating lizard monster.
    "Uh... Goood Deathclaw..."
    "Truce? Truuuce."
    "Nobody has to be anybody's... dinner tonight..."
  • Within the mythos of Fallout, someone thought it would be a fantastic idea to strap rocket boosters to a colonial era ship, the USS Constitution. As it appears in the game, someone turned it on and as a result, leveled a bank with the damn thing.
    Captain Ironsides: Damn you, Weatherby Savings and Loan! I spit at you!
    • The robot-allied ending of the "The Last Voyage of the USS Constitution" is... unexpected, to say the least. After having a last chat with Captain Ironsides, the captain, a sentry bot out of all robots, and battling the numerous scavengers wishing to loot the ship, it finally takes off to the promptly land on top of an even larger skyscraper. The best part? Ironsides concludes the quest by saying that at this rate, the ship will make it to the Atlantic in a century. Funnier in that he's right - they didn't head toward the ocean. They're pointing parallel to the ocean. And turning might be more challenging than you'd think.
    • You can go and meet back up with Ironsides and the crew. The Good Captain gives you an incredibly snazzy Lieutenant's hat and three huzzahs. No one else in the crew joins in, though, because they weren't programmed to. He also allows you to use the Captain's Quarters, partly in recognition of your service and partly because he's too big to fit below decks and as such cannot use it himself.
    • Funniest part is this: Even if they reached the ocean, all the ship would do is sink. The addition of the rocket boosters and all the tech inside, which are all extremely heavy, will unbalance the ship and render the ship incapable of floating. If the ship hits the water, it'll just sink into the ocean, backend first. If the damage done to the hull by being rocketed across the Boston skyline didn't already put a hole in it. Plus, the way you access the ship in the first place is through a gaping big hole in the hull.
  • The Weston Water Treatment Plant front office terminal has two entries. A memo regarding a media event, after advising employees to dodge any questions about a recent cholera outbreak, states: "cartons of Weston Water will be distributed. Encourage the press to Taste Perfection (TM)". Afterwards, you'll find an office supply order which includes 400 empty Weston Water cartons and fifty gallons of a competitor's purified water. You can also learn that the reason for this, incidentally, is down to one executive's bright idea to start recycling the water.
  • It's fairly easy to get crippled limbs in combat, especially in Survival mode. A male Sole Survivor will sometimes grunt or wince in pain from this. But if one of his legs gets broken? You can hear him wheeze out, "My leg!-" in a fashion almost identical to Fred the Fish.
  • In Suffolk County Charter School, the Principal came to an agreement with the NAPP to start using "food paste" school-wide, where the only meal people are allowed is the experimental paste. In enforcing this, home-packed lunches were thrown out, bake sales were forced to sell colorful cups for the paste instead of actual baked goods, and 3 of the possible rewards for turning in Overdue Book tokens? Food paste! The faculty is convinced that eating the pink, flavorless paste is actually turning the consumers a shade of pink (a fact borne out by the various bright pink Feral Ghouls populating said school), leading to an announcement from the Principal.
    Principal: I am assured all of you will get used to the flavor of the paste. Also, I have been informed that flavor varieties will be on their way pending continued success of the program. How exciting! To those complaining, I will repeat: There are no psychological or physical side effects from participation in the NAPP. Any observed effect is assuredly psychosomatic, and possibly related to a lack of trust in the government.
  • When in a conversation with Deacon, it's possible to stumble upon this little gem:
    Deacon: Since we're a team, you think we could use a code name? "Red Orchard"? Or... "Code Violet"? Or, ooh, "The Death Bunnies". (Beat) That'll confuse 'em.
    • The vast majority of what Deacon says by virtue of him being the snarkiest of all the companions, managing to out sarcasm Piper and be far more deadpan than Nick. His combat dialogue includes asking enemies if they can play dead as ammo is expensive, telling them that he won't shoot if they run away, asking for the fighting to stop because he's got a splinter, and yelling at them for ruining his plans to spend the afternoon reading Proust in a mockingly petulant manner. His Bunny-Ears Lawyer attitude to his work and the fact that he tells such obviously outlandish lies helps too.
    Deacon: (When entering a fight) Insert something Shakespearean involving death and your inevitable doom here.
    Deacon: I'm going to try and convince the next raw recruit that I'm President Eden. Think I can pull it off?
  • The fact that Deacon changes his disguise to one that's thematically appropriate for the area. He'll dress like a Minuteman in certain settlements, a raider in raider-infested buildings, and so on and so forth. The only thing he refuses to change are his sunglasses that he even wears in a memory pod. He'll even disguise himself as Sturges, down to the hair, if you're in an allied settlement.
  • During a random encounter, you might stumble upon a conman pretending to be Preston Garvey, who's tricking people into giving him caps, claiming it's for the Minutemen. When you call the conman out, since you've met Garvey yourself, he has an Oh, Crap! moment and quickly runs away.
    • Even better is the option to tell the conman that you're his boss.
      Sole Survivor: And I'm the General.
      'Preston Garvey' : Ha! I see you're already familiar with us.
    • You can even encounter him with the real Preston Garvey as your companion, though it doesn't change anything.
  • Another encounter with a Mr. Gutsy trying to enforce a curfew has it demand you return home. However, it makes the mistake of phrasing its order as "Repeat, will you comply?" So, the Survivor can repeat, "Will you comply?" Most of the times, it takes the Survivor's sarcasm as insubordination, and zaps them to death if they're not quick enough on the draw. But sometimes, after enough repeats, the Gutsy is so confused that it explodes in a glorious nuclear flash.
    • Hilariously enough, a male Sole Survivor engaging in this Loophole Abuse will verge into increasingly sarcastic Robo Speak, while a female Sole Survivor says "Will you comply?" wirth an incresingly obnoxious tone, until she ends up sounding like a female Eric Cartman.
  • While AI in this game has been largely upgraded, they still don't understand how traps work and will trigger them with glee. Not even your companions.
  • Hancock has a real ghoulish joke:
    • Basically anything out of Hancock's mouth.
      It's Raider territory up there, but they've been quiet. Like, uncomfortable post-coitus quiet.
  • During a conversation where Preston says you're "one of the good guys", there's a bit of a zinger a female Sole Survivor can give if she's Sarcastic:
  • While we're talking about companions, there's a bug that causes your companion to completely binge on jet. This can include characters who don't really like chems (Piper, Preston, Cait after she goes clean, etc.) and characters who can't even feel the effects (Nick Valentine)
  • You can't start companion conversations in combat, but since time isn't paused, you can initiate a conversation and then get ambushed. This can result in some silliness, or in glorious comedic timing by sheer coincidence.
  • When Piper likes you enough, she'll give more of her life's backstory, including the one time she got poisoned. If you ask her about it, the protagonist's reaction is pretty comical.
    Sole Survivor: Someone... POISONED YOU?!
    • Her attempted execution story is also hilarious: while investigating poisoned water in Bunker Hill, she was captured and nearly sacrificed by the Children of Atom. At the last second, she faked having a vision of Atom, was appointed an acolyte and later escaped.
  • The Dunwich Borers Quarry is generally a place full of nightmare fuel. But reaching the end of its bonus segment, involving a big ol' pool of irradiated water, with a companion can result in some funny quips.
    Preston: Going in there is the very definition of a "bad idea", which means, I assume... that we're going in there.
    Deacon: Railroad Tip #113: Don't go diving into creepy swimming holes. That is all.
    • Also, players may notice that every single raider in the quarry is wearing a mining helmet. Safety first, people!
  • Speaking of Lovecraft references, most companions will be unsettled by the paintings in Pickman's Gallery. Others... not so much.
    Cait: I don't know, I kind of like these paintin's. Feels good knowin' someone out there is more miserable than me.
  • In the Minutemen questline, you can meet Ronnie Shaw, a Cool Old Lady Minuteman veteran. Make a dig at her age and she will challenge you to a friendly brawl.
    Hancock: Grandma, you just made my day.
    MacCready: Alright, Grandma, put up or shut up.
    Piper: Ma'am, I don't know this person, so if you need to do some punching...
    Preston: Come on! For real? You're really gonna fight her?
  • Whenever passing a Speech Check, an icon of Vault Boy pointing and winking at the screen appears. However, when passing a Speech Check for "Flirt" options, Vault Boy winks a lot longer than normal speech checks, as if if he's responding to the flirty dialogue by saying "If You Know What I Mean". Even better, if you wake up and gain the "Lover's Embrace" benefit from sleeping with a romantic companion, it shows him sitting on a bed shirtless, giving an even bigger grin and wink.
    • A lot of the companions, such as Piper and Preston, will wake up next to you, stretch, and mumble some cutesy pillow talk. Romancing Paladin Danse, on the other hand...
      Paladin Danse: (standing over you wearing power armor and sounding incredibly turned on) Ad victorium...
    • Speaking of "Lover's Embrace", sometimes it's possible to sleep with your romantic companion in the middle of combat. When fighting, say, Raiders in a building, you might find plenty of beds lying around to take a nap once you're out of the enemy's range (which could be as short as just a couple rooms away). Doing this makes sense as sleeping regenerates health and getting the Lover's Embrace benefit boosts your XP for a short while, but all the same, the little Vault Boy icon grinning and winking at you can imply that you and your romantic companion were, you know, riding the Rocket 69 in the middle of a firefight with raiders.
    • If you romanced MacCready, one of his post-Lover's Embrace quotes upon waking up is "I never knew you could do that with mutfruit..." One has to wonder just what the hell he and the Sole Survivor got up to that involved the use of mutfruit, of all things.
  • Killing an enemy that comes charging at you (e.g. Mongrels, Mutant Hounds) may cause them to hilariously take on air and fly forward from their momentum, as if their bodies were made of styrofoam.
  • Having your Sole Survivor asking "What's a dead drop?" may result in some funny replies from your companions - some equally confused about what a dead drop is, and some calling out the player for not understanding the term. Dr. Carrington's "Oh, dear lord..." comment after sells the scene.
  • The fact that Nick Valentine has a Sitcom Archnemesis relationship with, of all "people", the Mysterious Stranger! Nick has a backlog detailing everything he knows about the Stranger (it ain't much), and he even curses in frustration any time that the Stranger pulls his signature Stealth Hi/Bye for the player.
  • Activate one of your companions, ask to talk to them nothing. Just be idle. Eventually they'll comment on the weirdness of the whole thing. Gems include:
    MacCready: I loooove these one-sided conversations.
    Cait: Hello? Anyone in there?
    Curie: Are we performing some sort of psychological experiment?
    Preston: Need a minute?
    Piper: Feel like I'm talking to myself here.
    Strong: Talk, damn you!
    Codsworth: Distracted a bit today, sir/mum?/Cat got your tongue, sir/mum?/A well thought-out response is always best.
    Nick: Nothing to say on the subject?/Uh, anybody still in there?/Not much for conversation today, are ya?
    Hancock: Did your chems just kick in or something?/Hmm, lights are on but no one's home./What? Mole rat got your tongue?
    Deacon: I know I'm not that boring... right? Don't leave me hanging.
    Dogmeat: (looks at you, ears up attentively and tilts head to side)
    X6-88: I've lost you.
    • You could also get a reaction out of most non-companion characters by remaining idle in conversations. Nothing's stopping you from remaining awkwardly silent after Elder Maxson promotes you to Knight/Paladin or learning that Father is your son, Shaun. Also, some companions have unique dialogue if you remain silent during missions that involve them. You can watch some of them here.
      Piper: (During Story of the Century) What? No comment?/Speak up, I couldn't hear ya.
      Maxson: Am I boring you, Knight?
      Father: Are...are you following?
      Vault-Tec Rep: I'm in a bit of a rush...
    • Even your spouse gets in on this!
      Nora/Nate: Hon?/You all right?/Are you okay?/Honey?/You look tired...
  • There are certain tricks you can use to level up your relationship with your companions quickly — crafting, lockpicking, hacking, etc. Cait and Hancock, however, have a rather amusing like: you being naked. Strip down and fast travel somewhere safe, and they'll admire the view all the way.
  • Some companions approve of you reviving a downed Dogmeat. They won't react to you beating him unconscious in order to revive him for said approval. Dogmeat must be your companion for this to work. If he isn't, everyone but Dogmeat will become hostile.
  • During Nick Valentine's personal quest, The Irish Mob Irish mobster]] Eddie Winter will ask the Sole Survivor just who the hell they are. This leads to one of the best sarcastic dialogue options in the game:
    Sole Survivor: (in an exaggerated Irish accent) Eddie! It's me! Your old pal Shamus/Molly McFuckyourself.
    • Slightly less funny, but still great, is the questioning response.
    Eddie: Who the fuck are you?
    Sole Survivor: Who the fuck am I? Who the fuck are you?
    • The fact that Eddie, in addition to acting, sounding and dressing like someone from The Godfather Part II, left behind a convoluted trail that the cops and the original Nick Valentine couldn't figure out just so he could troll the feds. That it took over 200 years to put the pieces together causes him to sarcastically congratulate the Sole Survivor and Nick for taking their sweet time.
    • And when Eddie lays eyes on Nick for the first time:
    Eddie: Is that what it's like out there? A world of robot overlords? I knew it.
  • When the Sole Survivor is talking to Piper far enough along in her friendship meter, she'll tell you why she started the paper. She mentions when she first got to Diamond City, there was a hole in the wall patched up with one bookcase. One dialogue option sounds like it actually cracked up the voice actress.
    Sole Survivor: One bookcase? Not even some duct tape to patch it up?
    • If you congratulate her on her efforts with the paper, she proudly announces that thanks to her efforts, where the hole was is now a fresh coat of paint and two bookcases...
  • If you fast travel with a companion, or in a base where your companions are, and you're naked, there's a chance they'll comment on it.
    Cait: Like the view. / Hope you're not expectin' me to take my kit off too. I'm not that easy.
    Codsworth: Mum/sir, you're not leaving much to the imagination. / I know the world has ended, but certainly we ought to strive for a little common decency.
    Preston Garvey: realize you're not wearing any pants?
    Danse: Put your uniform on!
    Hancock: Hey, Emperor. Love the outfit.
    MacCready: If you're trying to impress me, it's not going to work.
    Nick: Someone could make a statue out of you like that. Abstract, ideally.
    Piper: Oh, what I wouldn't give for a camera right now.
    Strong: Stupid human. Wear armor.
  • The Sole Survivor finding Earl Sterling in the finishing stages of becoming an armless, legless, headless torso after a botched plastic surgery operation from Doc Crocker? Not exactly funny. The Survivor bluntly saying "Looks like it'll be a closed casket funeral..."? Pretty damn hilarious. You almost expect him/her to slide on a pair of shades afterwards.
  • When you meet Curie in Vault 81, she repeatedly prompts you with the question if you're a representative from Vault-Tec. It quickly becomes obvious that this isn't just But Thou Must!, Curie really wants to finally leave the lab and just wants you to play along and give her the authorization she needs.
    Curie: Are you Vault-Tec security?
    Sole Survivor: Do I look like Vault-Tec security?
    Curie: Over the long years, who is to say what is fashionable now? ...Now, please tell me you are authorized to release me from the lab.
    Sole Survivor: Heck no, I'm just a guy looking for the cure to a mysterious disease.
    Curie: You're quite certain? Perhaps you just misplaced your papers. In fact papers are not strictly necessary, no?
    Sole Survivor: I said I'm not with them.
    Curie: My audio circuits must be malfunctioning. I distinctly heard you say "yes". I will open the door.
  • Curie's Fish out of Temporal Water nature is a never-ending stream of comedy gold, like telling you to be sure to wash your hands after you loot a corpse or asking if you'll take her to see Los Angeles if you visit the airport.
    • Funniest of all, her reaction to looting.
      "I believe we are supposed to file a police report, yes? And all the little things go in baggies for evidence."
    • Her responses to you flirting with her or just complimenting her are just adorable.
      "My eyes, they are malfunctioning. Adieu."
    • And then there's her reaction to being taken to Fallon's Department Store, a burned-out department store that's overrun with Super Mutants:
    • You and Curie are creeping through downtown Boston, through a tangle of ruins filled with mutilated bodies impaled on spikes or dripping bags filled with raw meat. You hear something moving around the corner...
      "Someone is nearby. Perhaps they are friendly?"
    • Atop all this, try directing her into a suit of power armor once she gets a synth body. The juxtaposition of her gentle French accent and cheerful naivete both coming out of a huge, striding metal colossus is simply hilarious.
    • This random line from her following her personal quest is priceless:
    "I notice some people stare at me. Is there something wrong with my backside?"
  • At the General Atomics Galleria, you can get a tour of the Mr. Handy robots. The guide tells you about their reliability and how they almost never break down, all while every Mr. Handy in the background short-circuits and collapses in front of you. The tour guide then shows you the Mr. Gutsy security robots, guess how that turns out.
    • Similarly, before resetting the bots, a Mr. Handy named Bean at Slocum's Joe will offer coffee. One of the dialogue options have your character note the smell of a gas leak. If you ask Bean to prepare you a cup of coffee... better start running.
    • At the Diner in the Galleria, there's a terminal that relates the restaurant's three guiding principles along with a note from the programmernote  that directives like these usually turn out badly when robots interpret them. The First Rule is "Serving you is our goal!" After you speak to the waiterbot and are seated he asks you "Would you like to be diced, smashed, or fried?" Note the wording and answer carefully. Using a mod that shows you the actual text of the answers, one of the answers to that question is "I'm not hungry anymore" and all three of the others are "Wait, what?"
  • When talking to Magnolia for the first time, if you compliment her music while Piper is your companion, she will attempt to compliment Magnolia's song herself, only for it to come out wrong.
  • Reaching Strong's "admired" affinity level, he will compliment the Sole Survivor's actions and claim that s/he will make a great Super Mutant. Selecting the "No Hugs" reply will lead to this:
    Sole Survivor: (nervously) Yeah, yeah, I like you too. No - no hugs, though. I like my spine the way it is.
    Strong: What is hug?
  • Apparently at some point, MacCready met either Butch Deloria or one of his Tunnel Snake guys and incorporated their motto into his vocabulary.
  • At your first meeting with Virgil in the Glowing Sea, when you tell him he's a Super Mutant, he says, "Well, I see you have functioning eyes. Congratulations."
    • When you mention the Railroad's efforts against the Institute, he remarks "Oh god, those kooks again? Shouldn't they be busy liberating toasters or something like that?"
  • A bit of Toilet Humor, one of the random encounters you can come across is someone asking you to back away. Not because they're hostile, but because they had some bad canned meat and it isn't agreeing with them.
  • A few of the companions reactions to the UFO crashing:
    Deacon: (After UFO crashes) We gotta get to that crash site. Even if it means Tinker gets to say "I told you so".
    Nick Valentine: (As UFO flies overhead) Good GOD, you catch the plates on that one?!
  • While also being pretty cool, bashing someone during a gunfight against human or synth enemies while in 3rd person will sometimes have you instead grapple 'em in some way. Sometimes you just push them away or kick 'em in the chest to get some breathing room. Other times you completely floor your opponent in an outright audacious fashion, such as punting a raider's shin, powerbombing them, or jabbing a synth twice in the face before clotheslining them.
  • In Saugus Ironworks, Slag's terminal has the names of all of the members of the Forgers who somehow failed the gang and their resulting punishment. It's a list of tough-sounding names and the terrible things that were inflicted on them, the majority of end with the member being "Fed to forge." At the bottom of the list is a Forger named Yancey. His crime that got him fed to the forge? He refused to change his name.
  • One diner to the north of the Commonwealth is secured with a Master difficulty lock. Breaking in reveals that it contains absolutely nothing, except for the body and death note of a guy who broke in for the snowcone machine and forgot to prop the door open.
    Well, this is it. I can't believe I'm gonna die in a fucking snack bar.
  • The raider boss in D.B. Technical High School, Bosco. After getting bitten by a dog with some disease, presumably rabies, he went insane — even by raider standards. The resulting sight is quite memorable: you find him across an emptied, rancid pool, sitting in an armchair like a throne, surrounded by heads on spikes... and wearing a giant, smiling mascot bear head. There's actually a reason for this: he became convinced that there was a "Beast" hiding beneath the school and murdering his men, though it was actually Bosco himself killing them during fits of insanity. In hopes of temporarily alleviating his paranoia, his men found the bear head and brought it to him, claiming that it was the Beast's head. He promptly decided to wear the stupidly smiling bear head as a trophy to strike fear into the hearts of all others.
    X6-88: Someone's been hitting the chems a little hard...
    Preston: Go Bears!
    Hancock: That's gotta be the weirdest thing I've seen all day.
  • Tinker Tom's introduction is a string of hilarity. He asks you if you've eaten anything on the surface. The Sole Survivor's affirmative is, "Uh, yeah. I eat food." Tinker goes on to rant about how the Institute has microscopic nanomachine spies in all surface food. "The Institute is in your blood, man!" He offers a syringe full of algae and battery acid to inject into yourself to burn out the imaginary robots. You can rebuff his offer by saying you regularly dose yourself with radiation to kill the nanomachines, which has him declare you his best buddy right on the spot, because you get it!
  • Buddy, the Keg Robot, is so wonderful that he justifies the horrifyingly slow trek back to where you want him to stay. He tells jokes, makes ice cold beer, and most of the companions have a funny line about choosing to keep him for yourself.
  • After Virgil starts to speak Techno Babble in regards to the cure you give to him, the sarcastic option has the Sole Survivor mockingly ask a question in Techno Babble... which turns out to be an actual scientific inquiry which roughly translates to asking if the virus samples have died of old age.
    Sole Survivor: Has the, uh, reverse transcriptase survived the nucleotide synthesis?
    Virgil: Hmm. I'm not sure — let me check! ... Yes, yes it has! Fascinating! [Beat] Oh... Did you mean that as a joke? Hmph...
  • If the player didn't meet Dogmeat before checking on Kellogg's house, Nick will introduce him to the player, first by referring to him as "someone", calling him a "specialist" and then summoning him with a whistle in a special frequency which only he could hear. Naturally, when the "specialist" turns out to be a dog, all of the possible reactions the Sole Survivor could say can be summed up as "Really?".
  • Using the cannibal perk sometimes has your character belch after eating a corpse.
  • The terminal entries in the SRB contain some gems. Apparently, all generation 3 synths have a sweet tooth for Fancy Lad Snack Cakes, leaving Dr. Binet and his fellow Institute scientists puzzled.
    • More fun with Institute terminals - check out the one in the little med bay to see what medical cases the local doctors have to deal with. Aside from a file with a lot of [REDACTED] information that foreshadows some later developments, apparently one Binet, L. showed up with a sprained right hand, but the "patient declined to say how injury occurred, only indicated it was related to 'using a terminal'."
    • Another entry reveals that not only was Mayor McDonough replaced with a Synth, but that the Synth who replaced him initially wanted to be a courser. The scientist then wonders how he would have fit inside the uniform.
  • When Doctor Amari asks you if you have Kellogg's brain, the 'Sarcastic' reply is gold.
    Sole Survivor: Could you say that like Dr. Frankenstein? "Igor! Fetch me the brain!" ...Sorry.
    Dr. Amari: No. I will not.
  • When traveling with a companion, they'll often make commentary on fighting enemies or their surroundings. If you're lucky, the dialogue will match up for a particularly amusing moment.
    MacCready: (while exploring South Boston and fighting raiders) I don't know where we are! [beat] That's how we do things around here.
  • Cricket, the traveling weapons merchant from Bunker Hill, has some good lines:
    Sole Survivor: "I've got a few minutes to browse."
    Cricket: "Every large purchase goes towards planting little-bitty trees that I'll blow up in your honor!"
    • Do enough quests for Bunker Hill and you can build caravan stops in your settlements, allowing Cricket a chance to expand her market into new territory. She's not at all impressed with her new customer base.
      Cricket: What?! This place just has farmers?! Shit, all they want are pipe pistols and stupid ammo. Where's the maniacs slobbering for a mini-nuke, am I right?
  • If you end up attacking the Institute, you'll have to fight through the bioscience lab, which has a pair of synthetic gorillas that the scientists will let free to attack you. After killing them, you can loot synthetic gorilla meat off their corpses.
    • Better yet, one of the Institute quests involves two rebelling scientists locking themselves in Bioscience. If negotiations go awry, you can override a terminal to release the gorillas onto them.
    • Really, just the fact that two hundred years after an atomic cataclysm, when the world on the surface is a warzone between survivors, mutant horrors, and feudal warlords in power armor, these eggheads in the Institute are dicking around with synthetic gorillas.
    • Even the most of the staff question why they exist.
  • Apparently, if you talk to someone while carrying a random object in front of their face, the cutscene will go on as normal with the object in between you and the NPC. It's possible, then, for you and Codsworth to have a touching reunion after the pre-War segments with an old tire hovering between you and him.
  • One of the random encounters has the Sole Survivor come across a man named Mac who has decided to open a bar out in the middle of the wasteland. Said "bar" is about the size of a little wooden lemonade stand with the word bar scribbled on at the top and provides absolutely no defenses against any hostile wildlife or people that may come along. If the player tells him its the smallest bar they've ever seen, he'll tell them about another bar he had back in Quincy. It was the size of a barstool.
  • While Hallucigen is pure Nightmare Fuel, the darkly comedic hints of Incompetence, Inc. are hilarious. Namely, the revelation that their "Invisiwave" technology is two hacked stealth boys, mirrors, and a trap door, (which somehow convinced a US Navy Admiral to actually buy two hundred units with a deadline of two months) the utter failure to do anything nonlethally, and the implication they may have accidentally tested their psychosis-inducing gas on clients. As are the Development Manager's comments. Clearly, they resent being Surrounded by Idiots.
    DM: Your "InvisiWave" is five mirrors, two hacked Stealth Boys, and a trap door. Makes for a splashy demo, but you really crossed the line this time. Sales wants two hundred units by December. Good luck with that.
    DM: (on the "Irradicator") So you've build a two-ton machine that irradiates people? What part of a "hand-held field decontaminator" did you not understand? Points for getting the VIPs out before things got messy, though.
    DM: Dispersant is supposed to *stop* riots, not start them. This entire line of research is a joke. I'm transferring the project to Karyn. Send her your files and destroy your samples. Then clean out your desk.
    DM: You were the LEAD ENGINEER on the damn Mesmetron, and you can't even get crowd pacification right? With one of your own prototypes to reverse-engineer? What, did they mezz you on the way out? You're the highest-paid researcher here. I expected better.
    • If you make it to the top floor, you can activate some automated product tests where a recorded voice extols the values of the devices, followed by Motor Mouth disclaimers.
      Product Demo: HalluciGen's Irradicator provides your forces with a state-of-the-art field decontamination solution! Small amounts of residual radiation may persist in the affected area. Dosage subject to change pending safety evaluations.
      Product Demo: InvisiWave is an exciting new advance in the field of stealth technology, capable of doing away with cumbersome personal generators forever! Some subjects may become inaudible and/or intangible. Effects may be permanent. Additional research is ongoing.
      Product Demo: Criminal scum? Don't grab a gun, try the Suppressor from HalluciGen - a safe, reliable, and effective way to paralyze even armed targets! Side effects may include the partial and/or complete paralysis of the user, bystanders, small animals, and/or large animals. Discretion is advised.
      Product Demo: HalluciGen Gas: reliable crowd control since 2055. HalluciGen Gas can stop a riot faster than any other product on the market, and without the messy side effects of competitor's offerings! Use with caution. Unpredictable sensory experiences may result. Subjects exposed to high dosages may suffer catastrophic adrenal failure.
      Product Demo: HalluciGen's Dispersant is ideal for peacefully clearing an area of civilians! HalluciGen is not responsible for any damage, injury or loss of life sustained in mass panics that may or may not result from the use of Dispersant.
    • Given the sheer amount of Epic Fail combined with Hallucigen's apparent inability to stop coming up with the exact opposite of what they were supposed to be coming up with, one wonders if Cave Johnson is somehow involved with the company.
  • X6-88's reaction to the Sole Survivor being a jerk is quite unexpected.
    • Another X6 one, slightly meta example. In a compilation of companions expressing their horror and disgust at Pickman's 'art', X6 finishes with a casual "I've used techniques like this before." He's, uh, talking about the brushwork... right?
  • On one of the upper catwalks in the Prydwen, you can find chalk drawings of a rocket ship and a kitty cat. It's so unexpectedly out of place on a warship run by the almost completely humorless Brotherhood of Steel that it's impossible not to laugh.
  • Relatedly, most of the power-armored soldiers standing guard on the Prydwen are all steely confidence and stern professionalism. And then there's this bit of random chatter:
    Brotherhood Knight: You haven't lived until you've tipped a brahmin with a vertibird. Now there's a challenge.
  • One funny bit to be found in the creepiness of Parsons State Insane Asylum - if you check the right terminal, you can read Dr. Cabot's patient records. Beyond possible expies of Batman and The Joker, one patient was a woman with paraphilia and a fondness for black leather outfits. The good doctor's treatment plan allowed her to keep her clothes, and even permitted conjugal visits by approved male friends of the lady, with the note that "discussion of said visits with Superintendent Cabot integral to ongoing therapy."
  • Some of the legendary weapon effects can be hilariously useless or weird. Sentinel's combat knife? Ghoul Slayer's Gamma Gun and any of the "Medic" effect weapons if you used a mod to enable that. Freezing Flamer? Then there's the Crippling Walking Cane.
    • Even better, the Freezing Flamer works exactly as advertised. If you want to see a Human Popsicle who is on fire, well, now's your chance.
  • Boarding a vertibird can lead to some funny moments:
    Nick: If synths were made to fly, they'd have built us with wings. Which would've been nice.
    X6-88: I have to go up in that thing? Damn.
  • If you start randomly firing your gun at nothing while Hancock is your companion.
    Hancock: Wait, you see 'em too?
  • If you side with the Railroad, the mission to blow up the Prydwen has some funny moments.
    Deacon: Dez said you could fly this thing!
    Tinker Tom: Sure, sure. Read the manual cover to cover.
    Tinker Tom: Hold it together. See, just like falling off a log.
    Deacon: Dear god. We're dead.
  • When first meeting Ronnie Shaw, you can piss her off to the point where she'll challenge you to a fist fight. If you decline the offer:
    Sole Survivor: I don't have time for a dick-measuring contest. What do you actually want?
    • The comments your companions say makes it equally hilarious.
      Strong: Measure what? Strong confused.
      Danse: That's an interesting colloquialism. Local, I take it?
      Cait: I wouldn't mind watching that actually.
      Preston: I'm not sure who'd win that, actually.
      Piper: And I have a new worst mental image.
      MacCready: Mmmh yeah, it's going to take a while before I get that image out of my head.
      Hancock: Hey now. No reason to disrespect the classics.
  • If you take a look at Fred Allen's terminal in the Hotel Rexford in Goodneighbor, you can view his logs from when he experimented with the chems he was selling. They're all pretty funny, but special mention goes to his experiments with Buffout. First of all, he tried punching through a wooden board, and managed to do it easily. Secondly, he tried punching through ten boards, and managed that as well. Thirdly and finally, he tried punching through steel boards... and promptly broke his hand.
  • The guard that's had enough of synths in Diamond City. Even funnier is how the others just watch in horror as the corpse gets shot away to shreds, while Dogmeat happily ignores the gunfire and Takahashi carries on cooking, oblivious.
  • If playing as a female Sole Survivor, if you use the Sarcastic Option when Nate asks to go to the park. What she has to say is awkward, if not damn hilarious:
    Fem!Survivor: Oh, right. The park. With you. Because I want to get pregnant again.
  • The Treasures of Jamaica Plain. Upon arriving in the town, your companions tell you in hushed tones that the town is notorious for an amazing hidden treasure that lies somewhere within. Every so often, you come across the bodies of Raiders and Gunners who have died trying to force their way through all the feral ghouls to perform the heist of the century. You make your way to the town hall, wherein you can find terminals outlining the amazing cost of building the bunker that the treasure will be hidden in. A hi-tech laser system requiring key-card access to disable prevents you from accessing the bunker doors. Hacking the terminal to access the antechamber activates Protectrons that try to gun you down. And throughout all of this, your companions remark in amazement that whatever has necessitated this kind of protection must be impressive indeed. Eventually, painfully, you limp your way to a button that will open the doors which will reveal the grand treasures of Jamaica Plain. Trembling with anticipation, you press it... and it turns out to be a hokey local time capsule.
  • If you beat the Institute with the Minutemen, but stayed on good terms with the Brotherhood of Steel, and you visit the Prydwen afterwards, most in the Brotherhood save for Proctor Teagan will be incredulous or annoyed that you didn't call in your Brothers or Sisters to the fight. But a few NPCs besides Teagan have more positive responses: Proctor Quinlan, for example, compliments your actions as "inspired" ... for using local forces as Cannon Fodder to minimize Brotherhood casualties, that is, while Senior Scribe Neriah, who's researching mutated life forms, heartily thanks you for setting off a nuclear explosion, thus giving her a golden opportunity to study radiation's effects on the local wildlife. Thanks, guys.
  • Every once in a while, the player can hear brief snippets of the Sole Survivor's inner monologue. Their response to finding out that the Railroad's former headquarters were located under a donut shop: "That's awesome."
  • At one point during Liberty Prime's anti-Institute rampage, he comes across the monument at Bunker Hill. He then engages patriotism subroutines, and salutes.
    Liberty Prime: Honoring the fallen is the duty of every red-blooded American.
    • Definitely a parody of that Call of Duty scene. Definitely hilarious.
  • After being 'killed', a synth will sometimes say "I have been a victim of violence."
  • While all the various skeletons lying around can be disturbing or depressing, sometimes you'll find one or two in amusing situations.
    • One skeleton can be found in a jail cell next to a hole in the wall. Lying on the floor next to the skeleton? A wooden spoon.
    • Another skeleton can be found in a speakeasy near Eddie Winter's safehouse. You can see it lying on a stage with tatos all around it.
    • There's a gulch just east of Oberland Station with a little campsite in it: fire pit, lantern, some supplies, bedroll... and a skeleton stretched out to sleep, crushed beneath a fallen tree trunk. Who knew your Luck stat could be negative?
    • In the Parsons State Insane Asylum, one skeleton in a cell is stretched out on the bed, fishing pole in hand, seeing what they can catch out of the cell's toilet. There are fish skeletons nearby.
  • In the Railroad HQ, after you infiltrate the Institute and return, you will first see your codename crossed off on the blackboard as though you died, even though Tom is sure you made it. Later, when it's obvious you're not actually dead, your name is back to normal.
  • Going through the ruins of Boston, you can come across a place named Prost Bar. It's an almost perfect replica of the eponymous bar from Cheers, complete with a skeletal Cliff and Norm slumped together at the bar. Someone on the dev team is obviously a fan of the show. For an added bonus, "prost" is a German bar cheer.
    • Even better, "Prost" is literally "Cheers" in German.
    • Or, in Romanian it means "dumbass".
  • At Irish Pride Industries, a guy named Rory rescued a clutch of orphaned mirelurk eggs and decided he could raise them to be tame. When you enter the building, you can find his computer detailing his increasingly delusional and difficult attempts to befriend his growing "murkies." It's not much of a spoiler to say that after you kill a bunch of very unfriendly mirelurks, you'll find his body at the bottom of the pit he kept them in; if you have a companion with you, most of them will remark about how Rory was Too Dumb to Live. And the whole time you're in the shipyard, a set of announcements will constantly sound over a loudspeaker that Rory apparently kept playing to encourage the mirelurks with positive thoughts:
    "Murkie see, murkie do! So, be nice!"
    "Mean murkies just need to find their happy place!"
    "Aaa! Remember, Rory's legs are not for pinching."
    "Stealing food from Rory is very naughty!"
  • When the Sole Survivor talks to Nick (to trade or ask advice, rather than scripted conversations), one of the conversation openers is hilarious.
    Sole Survivor: Look alive.
    Nick: I'll see what I can do.
  • Practicing your sneaking (which involves crouching) skills in Goodneighbor might lead to one of the peacekeeping Triggermen thinking you're about to take a poo in the middle of the street.
  • One second, everyone in Vault 81's medical wing is talking about Austin's critical condition... then people call junkies geniuses after Bobby explains his plan to find the cure.
  • MacCready shares his advice on getting food.
    MacCready: Ever go dynamite fishing? Don't. Use a Fat Man shell. You'll never go hungry again.
  • There's a variety of reasons to pay the Boston Public Library a visit - the sheer amount of military-grade defenses all over the place (it's a freaking library!), the massive Super Mutant assault that breaks loose shortly after arriving there, picking up a nifty collectible or running an errand for Daisy from Goodneighbor. Nothing's stopping you from just waltzing in through the front door and immediately drawing the ire of every single turret and robot in the building, but wait! There's a side entrance with an easy-to-miss intercom. Interacting with it allows the Sole Survivor to claim that they're a library employee in order to gain entrance, which they have to prove by providing their employee ID. Pass an easy charisma check and the Survivor takes a wild guess: ID 123456. The intercom immediately opens the door and sets all defenses to ignore the Survivor and their companions. Bonus hilarity points for the system greeting the player character as "Mr. Mayor"...
  • At one point, shortly after you get Preston's group of refugees back to Sanctuary, Mama Murphy will begin to talk to you about your "energy" and how it's "tied to" Sanctuary Hills. If you choose the sarcastic response, you immediately say. "Heh. I hope the color of my energy is blue!"
  • While exploring Vault 95, a Vault that had been filled with recovering addicts until they were betrayed by Vault Tec, you find the dead bodies of the Vault's inhabitants, who killed each other when a mole opened up a "secret" stash of drugs and booze. In a blink-and-you-miss-it Black Comedy moment, you can come across one dead body hiding behind a bunch of crates, surrounded by coffee pots and tea cups and cigarette packs.
    • In addition, if you walk into the Overseer's office with Piper as your companion, she'll note the skeletons seated in a AA meeting type circle, and show her disappointment that they only had a few more rounds of musical chairs left.
  • When you're sent to meet Old Man Stockton at Bunker Hill for The Railroad, you can give up on the convoluted spy chatter at any point in the conversation. And if Curie is with you...
    Sole Survivor: We're talking about Synths, right?
    Curie: Oh, that's what you're talking about!
  • You can find a series of holodisks narrated by a Teddy Ruxpin expy in a trailer park, named "The New Squirrel". At the location of the last holodisk, which ends the story with the titular new squirrel betraying everyone to a pack of cats, there's a bowl of squirrel stew and a roasted squirrel on a stick.
  • Though Glory dying is certainly not played for laughs, this exchange could happen.
    Sole Survivor: How bad is it?
  • When exploring the Boston Mayoral Shelter, and reaching the gymnasium, Cait will deliver this gem:
    Cait: I'm guessin' this is where the mayor used to play with his balls.
  • When buying or selling items with a merchant or trader, all of your items will be organized into different categories with labels that all start with, "My." Therefore, as immature as it may be, you would not be blamed for letting out a chuckle upon scrolling over to "My Junk."
  • This gem when first entering the BADTFL Regional Office at the front. Two raiders are taking cover from a laser turret.
    Raider One: How long do we have to distract this turret?
    Raider Two: Until the others find a way to shut it off.
    Raider One: I hate pulling the short straw.
    Raider One: This better be worth it. How do we know that I am not risking my ass breaking into an empty broom closet?
    Raider Two: Its the Bureau of Alcohol, Drugs, Tobacco, Firearms and Lasers! There has to be at least one of those things locked up as evidence!
    Raider Two: Besides, why would they install a TURRET to guard a BROOM CLOSET?!
    Raider One: Good point.
  • Giving your companions a Fat Man can, and often will, lead to them using it. In some situationsIt comes across as overkill
  • The highest level of the "Intimidation" perk lets you issue commands to human enemies. If you don't feel like killing them, one of the things you can do from there is find a chair, demand they sit on it, and then order them to stay put while you walk off to do your thing. That's right; you can defeat baddies by giving them a time-out ("Now, you sit right there and you think about what you did, Mr. Raider!").
  • The way the Legendary weapon drops are randomized can lead to hilarity. The weapon and the ability are rolled separately, which can lead to a gun whose damage is useless against a certain enemy having an ability that does extra damage against them.
  • Picking the Sarcastic option at one point in Nick's story quest nets you this gem.
    Sole Survivor: An evil king in a sandwich shop? Does a meatball monster show up at some point?
    Nick: From what I hear, the pastrami golem is the one you really gotta watch out for. (Stares down the camera) Now, if you're done bein' a wiseass...
  • While visiting Amari, Nick will volunteer for the initial mind-insertion-thingamajig. You can thank him for this selfless act or say this:
    Sole Survivor: We should try plugging you into a toaster next. Mmm. Fresh toast.
    Nick: It's nice to know that even when I'm about to have a foreign object inserted into my noggin;, you find new, horrible ways to laugh at my expense.
  • The Malden Police Department has a file on an armed robbery at Slocum's Joe, which is right next door. There are statements from four witnesses, all of them cops. The shotgun used in the robbery was not fired, implying either the robber did the sensible thing and immediately surrendered, or the cops shot him before he even realized how badly he messed up.
  • The sheer level of Suicidal Overconfidence displayed by Raiders is often inherently entertaining. You could be wearing a full suit of experimental Powered Armor, accompanied by a Sentry Bot, and toting a Gatling Laser, and yet they still think that it's a good idea to charge you with knives and pool cues.

     Automatron DLC 
  • At the end of the Automatron storyline, you can confront the Mechanist in the typical way and choose answers from the dialogue wheel... or, if you've completed a certain quest, you can do so as THE SILVER SHROUD. That's chuckle-worthy in and of itself, but the kicker is that the Mechanist takes you completely seriously and engages you in glorious Ham-to-Ham Combat.
  • Automatron can let you customize Codsworth. Behold. Then try giving him a set of Protectron legs and a giant drill for a hand. Cutest little Big Daddy knockoff you'll ever see.
    • Or the inverse; turning Curie, the naive, French speaking Nurse Handy, into an eight foot tall, spike covered, miniguns-for-hands sentry bot.
  • Building a new robot body for Jezebel and choosing the Sarcastic answers afterwards.
    Jezebel: This new body isn't quite what I had envisioned.
    Sole Survivor after rebuilding Liberty Prime: Well, I was going to connect your head to Liberty Prime's body, but I decided to do a little arts and crafts instead. Disappointed?
    Sole Survivor if they haven't seen or rebuilt Liberty Prime: (posh accent) Sorry, your highness. The royal tailor has been quite ill and I'm afraid the (drops accent to get angrynote ) THE TASK FELL TO ME INSTEAD.
    Jezebel: If you're attempting to use sarcasm as an intimidation tactic, I'm afraid you're wasting your time.
  • For all the horrors in the Robobrain factory, there's a bit of hilarity if you climb up on a certain shadowy ledge - there's a Cymbal-Banging Monkey and Jangles the Moon Monkey doll parked in chairs in front of a TV, video game controllers in hand.
  • Similarly, the Mechanist will send Eyebots to you and have them broadcast her speech to you. Messages include all of the hammy glory of wanting to bring you to justice, etc. The eyebots are fully killable. At any point. Including mid-sentence.

     Wasteland Workshop DLC 
  • With traps added, you're able to capture raiders with the same ones used for various animals. How? The raider traps have "Free Chems!" written on the outside, with arrows pointing to the trap entrance.
    • Even better, you can set up similar traps specifically for Gunners as well which, unlike Raiders or even Super Mutants, don't have an excuse for falling for such an obvious trap. Especially ones that simply say "Free Caps! Guns! Ammo!"
    • Better still! Want a pet cat for your home? You can do that!
    Sole Survivor: What?! So? Maybe I get lonely, sometimes!
    • And if you complete the main storyline in a certain way, you can also catch synthetic gorillas that have apparently escaped from the Institute. Settlement of the Apes, anyone? Better yet, captured gorillas not only provide as much of a bonus to a settlement's defense as captured Deathclaws, they also improve settlement morale.
  • A rare bit of slapstick shows itself in the trailer as well, showing off both Bethesda-brand physics and an AI goof in an actual trailer.
    Sole Survivor: (Sitting in a chair under a ceiling fan) Hey, I said it was comfortable. Never said it was safe. (stands up to walk off and gets beaned in the head by one of the fan blades, stopping.) Oof! (he continues to walk off)
  • With the right objects, you can have tamable creatures as settlers. Some Radio Freedom quests involve rescuing kidnapped settlers. This raises 2 questions. 1: How did the raiders manage to kidnap a Deathclaw and 2: how did they fit it inside a building with such a low ceiling?

     Far Harbor DLC
Remember: The go-to strategy for dealing with the mirelurk aptly-named “The Red Death” is to call in the Marines.
  • The 'Sarcastic' dialogue options are back with a vengeance.
    Ellie Perkins: I'm glad you're here. We got a new case while you and Nick were out. Ready to put on the detective hat?
    Sole Survivor: The only thing I'm ready for is danger and awesome. Pew, pew, pew!
    • When Kenji is setting you off to Far Harbor on a boat with a sophisticated autopilot, a male Sole Survivor can say "A magic boat ride?! Tell me there's gonna be sea monsters!" in a very Nolan North Deadpool-ish voice.
    • Answering DiMA's plea to help recover his memory bank with the 'Sarcastic' option prompts the Survivor to say that he's gonna replace the memories with pictures of cats.
      Sole Survivor: Meow.
      • The kicker? DiMA plays along, supposing that they'll make the memories... fuzzy.
    • During the quest to find a missing synth for Chase, the Sole Survivor will stumble upon the ruins of a house occupied by a few Trappers. Cue this gem from choosing the sarcastic dialogue option.
      Trapper: Fresh meat crawling in from the Fog? Don't care if it's Mirelurk or Man...
      Sole Survivor: What if it's a Mirelurk-Man? (Beat) Hey, that would be a great name for a superhero!
    • A side quest for the Children of Atom involves actually trying to stop Brother Devin (Ware's brother) from his self-imposed starvation and irradiation in hopes for a vision of Atom's messenger. You can try reasoning with him...
      • ...or attempt a high-level Charisma check and claim you're the messenger.
      Sole Survivor: (clearly improvising) I... have good news! I am Atom's messenger, come to free you from your shackles! HI-YAH! There!
      • Even better is that if you fail to convince him through dialogue, you have to dress up in a sack hood and robes and get really irradiated to make a more convincing divine messenger. As always, the sarcastic Sole Survivor takes his/her role less than seriously:
      Brother Devin: Who are you?
      Sole Survivor: It's me! Santa Claus! Have you been a good boy this year?
    • If you go through the Church of Atom's initiation rite, Zealot Thiel asks about the vision you experienced, and if you were really blessed by Atom.
      Sole Survivor: He came to me, and told me the secret to overcoming all of life's challenges... and for a mere 500 caps, that secret can be yours too!
    • You can be less than sympathetic when Jule tells you about a dream of hers that might be connected to her memory problems (not to mention general bitchiness).
      Sole Survivor: That's so weird — I have this recurring nightmare where an insufferable asshole keeps talking at me about all her shitty problems, and I can't escape.
    • Dejan, who'll ask you to take care of a Courser snooping around the island at one point, asks if you've got good news for him after you return from dispatching said Courser.
      Sole Survivor: "Good news?" No, terrible news. (melodramatically) He got me. I'm dead, and now my ghost will haunt you forever, woooOOOOooo~
    • When having a dramatic conversation with Nick over missing memories and his possible history with DiMA, you can choose not to take it very seriously.
      Sole Survivor: This is how it starts, Nick. Next you'll be forgetting your keys and thinking I'm your great-aunt/uncle from Southie.
    • When you near the end of the DLC, talking to Ellie back in Diamond City sarcastically will lead to this:
      Sole Survivor: I have been declared King/Queen of Fah Hahbah! You may bow.
      Ellie Perkins: Oh boy... it's like that isn't it? Why do I always get the smart-asses...
  • If you help her improve the Hull, the Mariner eventually gives a quest where she asks for help with hunting down and slaying a creature known as the Red Death, a legendary sea monster said to make Deathclaws look tame by comparison. It's a beast that's haunted The Mariner's dreams since she was a child, but now she wants to make her home safe from the Red Death once and for all, and she needs your help in doing that. She tells you to prepare yourself for the biggest fight of your life, you get in your boat and set out for the beast's lair, reach its little island surrounded by shipwrecks, and...find a teeny, tiny little Mirelurk with glowing red eyes, closer in size to a pre-war crab than a sea monster, who goes down in one hit. Suffice to say, the Sole Survivor found the whole reveal hilarious.
    Sole Survivor: (squeaking with the effort of not laughing) Think we can handle it? We can always CALL IN THE MARINES! (laughs their ass off)
    • It really says something about the situation that the bottom response on the dialogue wheel, the normally straightforward and helpful one, still has the Sole Survivor struggling to keep a straight face while saying "Looks like you've achieved your goal."
    • It's made funnier if you chose to play as the male Sole Survivor, as he used to be in the US Army, meaning he's simultaneously making fun of the Marines and a rival service branch.
    • It becomes even more humourously anticlimatic to any player unfortunate enough to run into a normal Bloodrage Mirelurk (the normal version of the variant of Mirelurk that the red Death is) considering how a normal one is an extremely difficult monster to fight.
  • Occasionally Old Longfellow can let out some perfectly timed lines.
  • In Beaver Creek Bowling Alley, the terminals reveal the tale of an employee and regular bowler who enlisted in the war, but was sent home after he was badly injured in an attack and paralyzed. His friends and fellow employees wanted to help him play his favorite game again, so they try to figure out a way to assist him. After attempting and failing to modify the ball returns, they somehow find a surplus Fat Man and rig it to launch bowling balls instead of mini nukes. Excited, they decide test fire it at the bowling alley, expecting it to impressively knock down the pins. It instead knocks a hole clear through the wall and nearly takes out a poor guy in the snack bar. And yes, you can find it and use it as a weapon, too.
  • During the Vault 118 quest, the Survivor gets really into the role of being a detective. It's like the most overly dramatic soap opera ever.
    • The mission begins with a Ms. Nanny named Pearl asking you to help solve a murder at a hotel full of rich guests. You arrive and fight your way through feral ghouls to the vault where the murder happened, only to find that the murder victim and the hotel's inhabitants are robobrains. Turns out a scientist who was sealed in the Vault convinced all the rich and powerful to put their brains in robobrain bodies. Unlike other robobrains, they remain sane... ish. They continue on with their normal lives, leading to many moments of pure laughter. Ever wanted to see Robobrains act out a soap opera? Or a scientist and his wife bicker about her getting sick (even while being a brain in a metal body)? Or a snooty foreign artist discuss art with the Sole Survivor? You will in this insane mission.
    • The fate of the Vault Overseer. He realized he would be trapped with these people, forced to cater to their insane desires... so he blew his brains out.
      Overseer's final log entry: Oh god. It's been weeks now, and I realized today that I've become the test subject. Instead of testing the interactions between the locals and this group of rich assholes, it's just me trapped in here with them. They're going to live forever, and I have to deal with them for the rest of my life. I can't take it.
    • Santiago asks you about his abstract art. You can either act like a snooty art lover, complete with pretentious accent, or be an uncultured rube. The final piece is one of the kitty cat pictures you can make for your settlement. You can again go for snooty... or be bluntly honest and say it's a cat. Santiago will admit that it is and he purely did this one for the cash and it's his best seller and set him up for life.
    • One of its residents, Gilda, works as a flirtable character in the same vein as Magnolia. Continuing to flirt with her will send you on a, ahem, "date" with her, complete with the Lover's Embrace bonus.
    • One of the residents, Julianna Riggs, is apparently a Crazy Cat Lady, since a room's fireplace is decorated with urns containing the remains of Pepper, Pepper II, Mr. Purrs, Sir Cattington, Missy I, Missy IV...
    • You can actually hear the Sole Survivor pronounce the capital letters every time he or she discusses, Dramatic Pause, The Murder.
  • Get conned into buying a charge card from that shady Parker Quinn character that nobody in the Commonwealth accepts as 'legal' tender? Not a problem, just talk to Brooks in Far Harbor. It turns out there's at least one guy in post-apocalyptic America who still takes credit cards...
  • Eden Meadows Cinema is a twin-screen drive-in movie theater. Somehow the projectors are still running film trailers, and in front of the lit screen will be masses of feral ghouls, completely silent and hypnotized by the flickering images before them. Switch which screen is playing in the projection booth, and they'll quietly shuffle over to the other screen to resume their viewing. Repeat for your own slow-paced game of ghoul tennis, or place some landmines down between the screens and watch the fun.
    • Even better, if a Hermit Crab spawns and gets attacked by Feral Ghouls and survives, it too will, albeit very briefly, be hypnotised by the silver screens. Kinda makes one wonder if this is a Stealth Insult about how "anyone will pay for x, as long as it has y slapped on it".
    • Also related to Eden Meadows is their pre-war radio station. Evidently, the man recording it hated his job, as the station is nothing but a few loops of the most deadpan, bored voiceover of all time, complete with long pauses for no reason, audible groaning at some of the marketing puns, and general irritation with how awful his script is. The best part, of course, is that it's all delivered in the voice of Garrus Vakarian.
  • Haddock Cove is a series of platforms constructed just off the shore, used as a base of operations by the Husky family until they were killed by the local wildlife. There's a couple of holotapes you can collect in which Bray Husky assigns chores or complains about Braun getting scared after thinking he saw something in the water, and each time the tape ends with him ranting about his problems switching the recorder off. The last tape is found next to Bray's corpse and is actually a bit disturbing to listen to, since he's making it after being nearly disemboweled and starts sobbing as he describes how everyone was killed horribly by Mirelurks. It ends with one of the monsters finding him, and...
    Bray: No! NO! (horrible screams and snarls for several seconds) Aww god, is this thing still recording?! You've gotta be kiddin' me!!
  • Good news, community leaders, you can link your settlements on the island to the mainland without any difficulty! Which means that, if you use robots built with the Automatron DLC as provisioners, you can watch your Sentry Bots or whatever show up at Longfellow's Cabin, turn around, and then roll right into the surf to disappear beneath the waves.
  • If you choose to detonate the Nucleus' nuclear warhead when resolving the island's conflict, and happen to check your quest log at just the right moment, it reads "I triggered the countdown to launch the nuke! I need to get out of the sub bay! Why am I still reading this?!" All while the PA system continues the countdown in the background.
    • If you stay in the sub bay and watch what happens, the missile pops out of the top of the tiny sub, dinks into the ceiling of the sub bay and sputters around for a second looking for all the world like an untied balloon someone's released, before it explodes.
    • If you have Nick with you afterwards, he'll watch the explosion and dryly quote "I am become death, the destroyer of worlds."
  • More fun with skeletons:
    • On the north coastal road through Far Harbor's outskirts, you can find a whole line of skeletons waiting for someone to finish their turn in an outhouse.
    • In a wrecked sailboat on the same shoreline, you can find a woman's skeleton slumped overboard, reaching for a fishing net. If you risk the rads and take a little dip to investigate, you'll find that she was evidently trying to haul in a Giddyup Buttercup toy. Considering the robot horses are too heavy to move outside the game's workshop interface, small wonder she died before reeling it in.
    • Swim north of the Nucleus and on a floating door you'll find a skeleton in a dress holding the hand of skeleton half submerged in the water. She'll never let go...
    • One is clutching a crate floating in the water, bearing a lit lantern and... a toothbrush and toothpaste?
  • Garden gnomes are back! And they're in positions that would give the teddy bears of the base game pause. You can find one reading a newspaper on the can in the Harbor Grand Hotel, a hardcore one complete with sunglasses and cigar in a shipping container, a bunch of them in a rather disturbing gnome funeral ritual out in the woods, one operating a forklift near a lumber mill, one holding a saw over a decapitated skeleton... wait, what?
  • The Vim! Pop Factory is your average super mutant-infested factory building. That is, until you get to the mixing area where you'll find two of them taking a bath in the soda vats.
  • If Nick is convinced to treat DiMA as a brother, they have conversations every time you return to Acadia. During one such bonding session, they both complain about how old they are and how many repair jobs they've both had to endure.
  • When talking to Kasumi after making your final choice in the DLC's story by either destroying the Children of Atom or turning off the Fog Condensers, the sarcasm option gives you one of two little gems:
    Sole Survivor: (If they destroyed the Children of Atom) Turns out atomic fire is great for camping. I roasted marshmallows.
    Sole Survivor:(If they turned off the Fog Condensers) It was just like a horror movie. Monsters Strike Far Harbor! Starring... a bunch of people who are dead now.
  • Some of your options when speaking with Nick after returning Kasumi to her parents.
    Nick: In this line of work, you have to expect the unexpected. Still, I've got to admit, I've never had a case like Kasumi's.
    Sole Survivor: Really? Never?
    Nick: Well, there was that time I got hired by someone who'd been frozen in a Vault for 200 years. That one's been a doozy so far...
    Sole Survivor: I want overtime pay for this one, Nick.
    Nick: That makes two of us. Yeah, a whole island trying to kill us... here's hoping the next case just takes us to a dingy bar. I could use a slow one.
  • When talking to Ellie at the end, you can "tell the short version" of a case that potentially could have seen you wiping out one, or all of, the settlements on Far Harbor:
    Sole Survivor: Let's just say the case is closed, and leave it at that.
    Ellie: That bad, huh? Alright, I'll just marked this one as closed and throw it in my "better left forgotten about" folder.
  • Though they're normally very scary enemies and a source of Paranoia Fuel, a sufficiently-powerful player can turn hidden Anglers into Nightmare Retardant by targeting them in VATs and one-shotting them while they're still submerged. A critical headshot, for example, prompts the monstrous creature to dramatically burst from the water with both arms raised, then instantly flop over because it just got around to noticing that you already blew off its head.

     Contraptions Workshop DLC 
  • In the trailer, the last scene was showing the converyor belt's capabilities... by moving teddy bears and dropping them on Mama Murphy... who's in a pillory.

     Vault-Tec Workshop DLC 
  • Vault-Tec is back in all its wacky, irresponsible glory! While she comes off rather sane at first, the Overseer of Vault 88 proves to be just as morally bankrupt as everyone else working for Vault-Tec. Highlights of her experiments include "curing" the societal ill of exercise, transforming a soda machine into a means of mind control, devising a highly-radioactive eye examiner because "the hippocratic oath is holding us back!", and worst of all, creating addictive gambling machines to rip off her Vault Dwellers!
    • After she admits that the phoroptor experiment will require "a bit... well, a lot... all right, a staggering quantity of uranium."
      Sole Survivor: Nuclear material, you say? Huh, what could go wrong?
      Overseer Barstow: I know, it's foolproof.
    • Just the fact that Vault-Tec contracted out to HalluciGen, Inc., a company that was as, if not more morally bankrupt than Vault-Tec, whose ideas of good business involved kidnapping prospective employees via drugging them, then using them to test anti-personnel hardware designed for use by police and military forces. And all Vault-Tec needed their patented biochemical research for... was to spike a soda machine with hallucinogenics to turn their Vault population loopy-headed.
  • Going for the "good" options in Vault 88 frustrates Overseer Barstow to no end.
    • On creating a relaxing bicycle: "We're trying to create a new society, not create a day spa!"
    • If you point out the experiments are helping people, she cries out, "We're not supposed to be making people happy! We're supposed to be safeguarding the American Way!"
    • Eventually she throws up her hands in disgust and exits from your "cheery Purgatory."
  • Sweet, naive, bumbling Clem is the ultimate Butt-Monkey. He will do anything for you and Vault 88 and do it cheerfully, even if it results in, say, errant EMP pulses flinging him from an exercise bike...
    • At the beginning of the testing for the phoroptor, which may or may not be highly radioactive depending on your choices, the Overseer casually asks Clem how he feels about children and if he's interested in ever having any. When Clem finally wonders why she's asking, she dismisses it as "idle chatter." He shrugs it off and continues to do your bidding, even as one of your other settlers is clearly getting suspicious.
  • Everyone loves to use the pommel horse. You. The settlers. Your companions. Four pommel horses means four people just swinging away and breakdancing at once.
    • Not only that, anyone can use it, regardless of their physique. You gotta admit, it's absurd to see an overweight character swing around on the pommel horse like an Olympian, even though realistically, they'd probably tire themselves out just getting on. Bonus points if they're wearing a full set of heavy combat armor.
    • Get Nick, Preston, Mac Cready, or Hancock as your companion. Head to Vault 88, build a Pommel Horse, tell them to use it. Observe. Now go back, build one in Sanctuary, and wait for Mama Murphy to hop on. You can also carry on a conversation with your companions while they're twirling away on the pommel horse or struggling with the weight bench, with them not missing a beat.
  • The Vault-Tec developer notes are full of exasperation at Ted, a talented engineer who never got the memo that he's working for a Dog-Kicking, Incompetent, Evil, Inc..
    • When the other research teams are coming up with ways of adding appetite suppressants or mood enhancers to the soda fountain, Ted comes up with a caffeinated beverage that is cheaper and better-tasting than Nuka-Cola, something that would have earned Vault-Tec billions.
      I must admit, it's refreshing. God, I hate Ted.
    • By the time they've moved on to using a phoropter to give patients subliminal messages or scan for seditious thoughts...
      Simple synopsis of this experiment: Ted.
      His team made a better tool for optometrists everywhere. That's it. Nothing else.
      Please, please process my request to reassign his whole team. Somewhere far away. And cold.
  • The conversations your vault settlers will have between each other are taken right from the conversations between dwellers in Fallout Shelter, in all their wonderfully inane glory.
  • Choosing to add the Mood Enhancer to the soda fountain results in everyone being really happy to be at the vault. Just, so very, very happy... Professor Goodfeels would be proud.
  • The DLC added, among others, barber chairs and surgery chairs for getting a new haircut or face, respectively, for the player character at any time. Both require someone assigned to operate them, which needs to be either a generic settler or a companion - any companion. Yes, that means you can let Strong, your resident Dumb Muscle Super Mutant, give the Sole Survivor elaborate haircuts, which he'll do with astounding talent. Just don't ask what he does with what he cuts off of the Survivor's face during a face lift...
  • One of the possible experiments involves modifying slot machines to covertly record their players and produce reports, allowing the Overseer to screen for those with undesirable personality traits. Vault-Tec being Vault-Tec, the machines do this by photographing the Vault Dwellers with obvious flash photography, and then showing them the results on the game's display.
    • If you use the Overseer's desk (which may very well be your desk), you can see all of Barstow's comments about the experiments. She realizes in hindsight that the flash photography for the slot machine was a mistake.

     Nuka-World DLC
Well, at least he had a good time before the bombs fell.
  • The trailer. A happy chorus extolling the virtues and fun of Nuka-World and Nuka-Cola, as the trailer shows the park rotting away, raiders controlling the park's various "lands," and the Sole Survivor laying waste to all the terrifying lifeforms within. Bonus for the cheerfully tuneful disclaimer about how it's also "A park with every minimum acceptable safety standard met!"
    • That particular line plays as you see what happens when the Galaxy Zone elevator hits the top; the skeletons are thrown in the air and flop about. This is followed by a shot of the Kiddie Kingdom cars plowing through a bunch of feral ghouls. Truly, they met every minimum acceptable safety standard of pre-war America!
    • Of note should be the shot right before "The friendly streets of Nuka Town put a smile on your face". A collared slave with a few Disciples standing around her. One of them threateningly cracking her knuckles at you.
  • One of the first indications that things are going to be a little goofy in Nuka-World is the first boss you face, Overboss Colter. He's rigged his power armor up to a bumper car cage with a big pole sticking out of the back. Gage tells you that he's stashed a secret weapon to defeat him, though: a squirt gun!
    • Colter's rally to his audience indicates that not everyone is on-board with gladiatorial combat.
    Colter: Disciples! Do you want to see me spill some blood?
    Colter: And the Pack! You ready for things to get wild!?
    Colter: Operators! You want to see me score another kill?
  • Cappy, one of the park's mascots, totally doesn't sound like Mickey Mouse at all. Nope, it's surely just a coincidence.
  • Nuka-Town USA is home to N.I.R.A., a bottle-shaped information robot who, due to a couple of tech-savvy raiders in the mood for a practical joke, switches between pleasant greetings and vulgar insults or threats. And if you kill her, you can loot her to add her torso to your robot armor mods for Automaton. That's right, you can have your own army of friendly but deadly N.I.R.A.s!
    • The Nuka-World automatron mods in general can add some extra hilarity to the players killer robots. Giant goofy mascot hands, (explosive) nuka-cola launchers, and 2 Nuka-Cola branded torso/torso armors that can make the bots look more like angry killer vending machinesnote .
  • The "Handmade Rifle" is a welcome addition to the game's arsenal, but some of the other weapons introduced in the DLC look like jokes - a squirt gun? A "Commie Whacker" baton from a whack-a-mole arcade machine? A paddle-ball? But when you load that squirt gun with Nuka-Cola Quantum, attach buzzsaw blades to the Commie-Whacker, or modify that paddle's ball to electrocute, immolate, dismember, explode, or just plain explode even more, they don't seem so useless. The Handmade Rifle gets in on the fun too. One of the available stocks one can attach to the weapon? A shovel handle. And yes of course there's an actual Kalashnikov that used that.
  • The Nuka-World Safety Rules, which can best be described as Happy Tree Friends in the '50s.
  • The ever-present PA system messages, which inform visitors that misplaced items can be recovered at a Lost and Found (for a small fee), there are still forty unclaimed children waiting in a holding facility next to the Fun House, and due to a mix-up at the wildlife care center, lemonade will no longer be served at a Safari Adventure restaurant.
  • Turns out Vault-Tec wasn't the only Pre-War company with absolutely no scruples. Reading some Nuka-World employee terminals in the Safari Adventure zone reveals the proper procedure if a visitor gets bitten by something venomous: confirm that they have a valid admission ticket, make them fill out an incident report, and then administer first aid (the cost of which will be billed to the victim). Also, they once put Death Adder, Black Mamba, and Inland Taipan snakes in the Lil' Kids Reptile Petting Zone.
  • The "Arcjet G-Force" ride in Galactic Zone isn't working quite properly - first, it drops in near-freefall (which deals some damage), then it rapidly jerks up and down before finally coming to a stop at the bottom. The hilarity comes from the half-dozen skeletons laying on the floor of the thing, so you're bouncing up and down with bones rattling and ricocheting all around you.
  • The wrecked roller coaster at Dry Rock Gulch has its lead car crashed a distance away... with a guy in the lead car with his arms in the air like he was having a good time. He was probably lucky enough to not even have seen the nukes coming before he died, so when the bombs hit, he didn't even know what killed him.
    • The gloriously hammy return of the Silver Shroud if the player had the foresight to bring the costume to Dry Rock Gulch. What makes it better is that every NPC there is a cowboy Protectron. Seeing the Sole Survivor play the role of a 1930s comic book vigilante in the middle of a Wild West setting filled with robots is really something that must be seen to be believed.
    • Even if you don't have the Shroud's costume, you can have some fun with the robot cowboys in Dry Rock Gulch. If you pick the "play along" response, the Sole Survivor will do his or her best southern accent, and though they'll stumble at first when talking about "varmints" causing problems, by the end of the zone's quest chain, your character seems to be having fun in the role.
    • One employee's audio log explains that he's embraced his role as the town drunk by hitting the whiskey before each performance. His coworker is disgusted because this method acting includes a refusal to bathe.
  • When you meet Cito, a wild man in a fur loincloth who speaks crude English, at the Safari Adventure zone, a sarcastic Sole Survivor can see what's coming.
    Sole Survivor: Oh god... let me guess, you were raised by apes.
    • One of the journal entries in the Nuka-Gen Replicator facility describes a failed attempt to clone polar bears, which kept emerging inside-out before exploding. "I assume this was due to an incorrect sequence, but I've never seen such a violent reaction from a specimen before. It was actually a rather spectacular result, strictly from a scientific point of view."
  • One of the major problems that Nuka-World's Safari Adventure Zone faced was the local Animal Wrongs Group, AFAD (Animal Friends and Defenders). Read their manifesto to get an idea of how competent these people are.
  • The fact that Sierra Petrovita somehow made it into Nuka-World and is still the same Nuka-Cola Addict we know and love. That she acts like an excitable tourist while surrounded by Raiders who barely tolerate her presence adds to the hilarity.
    • The Sole Survivor's "Sarcastic" comment on the password needed to access Bradburton's office is beautifully read:
    Sole Survivor: Well, damn, I was sure the letters spelled "fresh ginger." That stuff is great in hot tea with honey, lemon, a little brandy...(quietly) a lot of brandy...
  • In the Nuka-Town Market, there is the weapons’ vendor Aaron. He is (quite understandably) unhappy with being enslaved and forced to serve the raiders, but he still has his dry wit. When the player character first meets him as Raider Overboss, they can choose the “Sarcastic” response to him that leads to perhaps the funniest case of Snark-to-Snark Combat in the entire game:
    Sole Survivor: Damn Right. You should thank me. (posh accent) It’s not every day I wander out to… visit the peasants.
    Aaron: For a second there, I thought you might be making a joke. Hell, I even considered laughing.
  • Some Raiders don't quite "get" the parks they're assigned to once you take them over. A Pack raider will say of Kiddie Kingdom, "So, was this a place where they'd take kids to fatten them up to eat them?"
    • If you hand the Galactic Zone over to the Operators, one might comment that it's not a bad place, but she feels like the giant Mr. Handy statue at the Handy Whirl is always watching her.
    • If you populate the Nuka-Cola Bottling Plant with Disciples, one of them will suggest draining the Nuka-Cola Quantum river and refilling it with blood because "it doesn't get more badass than that".
    • The Pack loves being in charge of Dry Rock Gulch, since booze, funny costumes and whores are right up their alley, as one says. However, another Pack member might wonder what the hell a horse was. "A giant dog that you ride?"
    • Sticking the Operators in Kiddy Kingdom will result in you being asked if they'll get a liquor ration because they don't want to be there while sober.
    • Then again some of the random Raiders will comment that they can't wait to ride all rides once after you get the power working.
  • One of the random pieces of furniture you'll find in the Pack's base of operations is, of all things, a Feral Ghoul Chair. As in, a living, breathing Feral Ghoul that's snapping its head around, that's strapped to the opposite side of a chair as support, is usable furniture. And you thought Commonwealth raiders were crazy.
  • It's been forty-six years since we last saw them, but the Hubologists are back, and just as crazy as ever. This bunch is led by Dara Hubbell, who claims to be a descendant of the group's founder, and her quest chain revolves around capturing a spaceship so they can fly off into the stars. Or rather, a decomissioned spaceship-themed ride at an amusement park.
    Sole Survivor: You do know it's not a real spaceship, right?
    Dana Hubbell: Your mind is limited by neurodynes. If you had my expanded mental powers, you would see the truth about the spaceship.
    • The ride is nothing more than a centrifuge that spins its passengers for a minute or so, though it's lacking some fusion cores when you find it. Put in three of the things like Hubbell asks and the Hubologists will experience visions (while one tries not to vomit), before thanking you and beginning the hopeless task of turning a theme park attraction into a spaceship. There's room for four fusion cores, though... and if you overcharge the thing before the Hubologists do their test run, it'll spin so fast that their heads will explode from the G-forces. And Gage will love it.
      • Some players, particularly longtime Bethesda fans, have stated that they thought this number was just another "Bethesda Bug". They assumed the game, via by accident or coding error, miscounted the number of fusion cores needed to activate the spaceship ride, so they put in four cores instead of three as the quest states. They also stated they were not expecting the outcome of doing so, but still found it hilarious.
    • A sarcastic Sole Survivor can be very skeptical of an NPC's offer to join the group.
  • Gage's reaction to being confronted by Oswald the Outrageous in the worn down King Cola Theater
    Gage: Yeah, this is fine. I wasn't planning on sleeping tonight anyway.
  • Gage has this to say for the Vault-Tec: Among the Stars exhibit: “...Oh sure, put me in the ground where I'll have no control. What could go wrong?”
  • Take the "Open Season" quest to betray the gangs and return to Mackenzie afterwards. You can either claim to be a liberating hero, or... not.
    Mackenzie: Boss, I... I can't believe it. You killed the Raiders. All of them. I have to ask... why?
    Sole Survivor: (nonchalantly) Not sure, really. I guess I just felt like killing a bunch of people.
    Mackenzie: (double-take) Oh... okay, boss. I, uh, really hope you scratched that itch now.
    • Afterward, Mackenzie wants to find a way to get rid of the explosive collars around the necks of the traders. Due to a bug, this causes all of the traders to strip to their underwear. Finally freed from the violently oppressive yoke of the Raider gangs? Clearly, that can only mean one thing: IT'S NEKKID TIME!
  • The new settlement mode items added in the Nuka-World DLC are a whimsical goldmine of this. Ever feel like your settlement needed a giant plastic ice cream cone to go with all the rusty cages, gore bags and blood trough? Why not! Want to knock down your plain old wooden fence in favor of dozens of rows of giant colorful gum drops? Go ahead! Maybe scrap a few residents houses to make room for the giant bottles of Nuka-Cola and Cappy/Bottle statues? With Nuka-World you can!
    • With the Nuka-World DLC, you can become a Raider boss and claim the Commonwealth for your psychopathic gangs... or run around in Nuka-Cola-themed power armor, dress all your Settlers in Nuka-Cola brand T-shirts, and use the new decorations to turn your Settlements into annexes of Nuka-World. Either way, the Commonwealth is doomed.
  • The Vault-Tec Among the Stars exhibit is a cool demonstration of how Vault-Tec technology could be used to colonize other planets...but hilariously, even their demonstration ride turns out to be running social experiments. Subliminal messages and other forms of mind control were tested out on the people visiting the exhibit, and all four of the scientists running things behind the scenes were themselves guinea pigs for the long term effects. Vault-Tec just can't not be evil, it seems.
    • The recruitment process after the exhibit involves basic salesmanship until the applicant says yes. Then they have to fill out 9 different form in quintuplicate. Hell, the different colors used to tell where each copy goes is daffodil, lemon, canary, gold, and yellow. Any mistake and the process has to be repeated. One has to wonder if this is regular bureaucratic nonsense, or yet another social experiment.
  • Red-Eye, the host of Raider Radio, is a lot more fun to listen to than stuttering/smooth old Travis. Besides his original songs celebrating the raider lifestyle, sometimes Red-Eye will tell stories like the legend of Atlas, a raider boss who fell for the leader of a rival gang. His "courtship" of her ended in an atomic fireball that allegedly caused dead birds to fall out of the sky for days afterward, but the crowner is Red-Eye's last word on the tale:
    Red-Eye: Is there a moral in all of this? ...Hell if I know. (immediately changes subject)
    • Hell, just about everything that comes out of Redeye's mouth counts. Be it narrating your run through the gauntlet or reading death threats, the man makes it fun to listen to. Though, given who he's voiced by, that's not a surprise.
  • If you get tired of soda-themed entertainment, make sure to visit Wixon's Shovel Museum! It features artifacts such as a weapon wielded by the feared British Shovel Fighters during the Revolutionary War, a shovel used by Abraham Lincoln's cousin's neighbor to build a latrine that the future 16th president may very well have used, a recreation of a Stone Age shovel "if it were made in modern times in Mexico," and a "long-handled spade" that while technically not a shovel was popular from April 3, 1963 to April 7, 1963.
    • One of the few non-corrupted terminal entries in the museum is a letter of resignation from a 7-year employee, who announces that he's moving on to a job at the Museum of Mops and Buckets.
    • In a similar theme, take a good look around the Hubologist camp. You probably noticed the giant fire hydrant, which upon further investigation is revealed to be the world's largest fire hydrant! Further reading assures us the fire hydrant was made to be able to weather a nuclear apocalypse. Indeed people two hundred years from now will be able to gaze upon this beauty.
  • Gage, on Synths: "You ever feel slightly insulted that the Institute never tried to replace you with a synth? I mean, I'm important! Right?"
  • One of Gage's thoughts after you've raised his affinity:
    Gage: I hate most people, generally speaking. (beat) Not you, though.