Villain Critique Thread (Because Its About Damn Time!)

Any thoughts on Aaron's character as displayed by that story?

Seems fine honestly, he certainly looks evil and terrifying enough, I havent read its post to know more about him, you could link it?

Watch me destroying my country

The original profile.

However as with Elwood, I've been thinking of making an updated version.

I have a group of villains in my fantasy setting, currently called "The Generations War". There are about four members in varying stages of development. I'm going to share the most developed of them in this post. Maybe do the others later though they'll be a bit more rough draft. This one has a bit more than the rest because she's a direct antagonist to my most developed character among the heroes and I wound up with a few inspirations here and there listening to the Kill la Kill soundtrack. Incidentally, as a result, appearance wise I tend to imagine her as something close to the series Big Bad Ragyo Kiriyuin.

Name: Nyres "the Songstress" Anui

Age: To the world at large, she's thought to be centuries, even millennia old. In truth, she's middle aged in her forties.

Personality: She often acts with a haughty arrogance and overconfidence that tends to bite her when things take unexpected turns. When things go south she tends to go to pieces. Basically, she's a bully why can't handle someone actually standing up to her.

Abilities: Nyres is a master of Bardic Magic. Perhaps even the master, as none before or since have shown the level of proficiency she's displayed with it. Certainly no users of it have ever managed to enslave an entire race down to the last man, woman, and child. I confess beyond that the specific things she might yet do are still a little undefined. Though a few ideas came to mind in writing this and are included in the relevant tropes.

Weaknesses: Bardic magic is extremely finicky and, thus, easy to disrupt. It generally has to be done exactly right or the effects are weaker, if they come at all or don't backfire. The "enslave an entire race down to the last man, woman, and child" thing only ever worked at all because those enslaved have mimicry as their primary skill. Personality wise, she is a bully. She exhults in the power over others she can command, but goes to pieces when faced with someone who can actually oppose her.

Goals: At the time of the story, she's basically accomplished her goals and is more interested in maintaining the status quo.

Motivation: Nyres is, in many ways, a bully. She loves nothing more than having power over others. Like the others of her cadre, she has no real desire to deal with the obligations of power, but rather gaining it and lording it over those she controls.

Role in the story: Nyres is one of the core members of the villains team. She's responsible for them having access to a race called the wildkin as foot soldiers and, precisely because of this, serves as a direct antagonist in the character arc of the protagonist team's wildkin member, Ruby.

Backstory:

Nyres is part of a group whose gimmick is the active exploitation of being a Sealed Evil in a Can. Short version, they genuinely prefer conquering the world over ruling it. To that end, they've convinced the populous that they're too powerful to outright kill, which makes them settle for a method of sealing the villains that, even if not broken, will eventually fail and let them reconquer to their hearts' content.

Nyres's role in this conquest is in the providing of foot soldiers. To achieve this, she has used her magic to enslave a race called the Wildkin. Her control over them is near absolute, as at her call every single wildkin; man, woman, and child, falls under her thrall and becomes unquestioningly obedient to her whims. She can also provide tools, specifically enchanted dogwhistles, to allow others to enact this same control. In that case the physical condition of the whistle affects just how absolute that control is.

One of the driving questions regarding Nyres is just how she's accomplished this, as there are multiple reasons why what she's done should be impossible. Magical mind control is certainly doable, but not on the sheer scale Nyres has achieved, not with any magic, let alone the notoriously fickle Bardic variety, and not without maintenance that Nyres could never perform while sealed in her can.

The key lies with the wildkin themselves. Their core ability is Power Copying the abilities of beasts both exotic and mundane. Upon realizing this, Nyres went among the wildkin as a traveler, teaching them songs that, if performed perfectly, have benefits to the wildkin. Chief and most insidious among them were songs that every adult would be likely to sing at some point: lullabies. Lullabies that absolutely calmed crying children without fail. For obvious reasons, these became especially popular very quickly, and their true danger went undiscovered until it was too late.

Those lullabies affected the infants' still developing brains, effectively brainwashing them to become vulnerable to further control in the future. Other songs Nyres taught reinforced or added to this conditioning, but the lullabies were essential to make any of it work. Within a few generations, every wildkin alive was a potential agent of the villains whether they liked it or not.

In short, the key to Nyres's success using a magic generally thought of as unreliable is that her main victims' superpower is mimicry. Commands programmed into the conditioning ensure that they continue to perpetuate it, even if they're completely aware of the fact they're dooming their children to slavery as they sing them to sleep.

The sole exception to all this is the wildkin among the protagonists, a thirteen year old girl named Ruby. The simple reason for this is that she was not raised among wildkin. In fact, she never met any of her own kind until after she joins the protagonists, so she was never exposed to the tainted songs of Nyres until she was past the phase she would have been most vulnerable to the basic conditioning. This makes Ruby a particular target for Nyres, who wants to know the exact conditions that brought her immunity about to prevent a reoccurrence.

---

Relevant Tropes:

• Animate Dead: Among the songs Nyres taught the wildkin music are songs sung at funeral and during other times of mourning. At one point, when the battle with her takes her to a wildkin gravesite, she uses these songs to animate the corpses buried there.
• Beyond the Impossible: Nyres's skill with Bardic magic is so prodigious that it does things most mages would consider impossible, not just for Bardic magic in particular but also for magic in general. For example, while mental or emotional control of a creature is certainly possible with Bardic magic, enslaving an entire race, doing so with a form of magic known to be easily disrupted, all while being unable to constantly monitor it yet still affecting nearly every known living wildkin? Such a thing shouldn't be possible for any magic, let alone Bardic magic. The Wildkins' own Power Copying the thing that bridges the gap from impossible to possible.
• Brainwashing: Nyres taught wildkin lullabies that, unknown to them until it was too late, provide the foundation for the conditioning that allows her and those she chooses to be able to control them at will. Part of that conditioning is a compulsion to sing those songs to their young, even if the parents KNOW the dangers of them.
• Difficult, but Awesome: The magic using community's general view on Bardic magic is that, while potentially powerful, it's too fundamentally unreliable to be useful. Only a few ever dedicate themselves to its study and Nyres is the most powerful of those who have.
• Dirty Coward: Her first instinct when caught unaware is to flee. Since she has absolute control over her soldiers, she generally doesn't put a lot of worry into how that sort of thing would affect morale.
• Disability Immunity: In order for Nyres' magic control over the wildkin to fully take hold, the wildkin must be exposed to it as early as possible. For this reason, a child that is born deaf is completely immune to its effects. A wildkin who loses their hearing later in life is still vulnerable, if not as strongly, since the foundation of the conditioning is still there. One of the commands Nyres has in her control of the wildkin exists to take this into account. If a wildkin parent realizes their baby is deaf, they will be compelled to kill the child. Ruby's mother, Ermine, suffered this with her firstborn child. The act was so traumatizing that, upon discovering she was pregnant with Ruby, Ermine feared history would repeat and ran as far away from wildkin lands as she could get.
• Fantastic Racism: It is perhaps telling that, of all the instruments Nyres could enchant and give to her followers to use to carry the tone that triggers the wildkins' mental control, she chooses dogwhistles.
• Flunky Boss: Relies on her wildkin to fight enemies for her and prevent disruption of her spells. Even if those wildkin are killed, among the songs she knows are songs for mourning the dead. So killing her bodyguards won't necessarily leave her helpless.
• Glass-Shattering Sound: A relatively simple application of her power. Shattering glass is child's play. However, it's entirely within her capability to hit notes that can shatter much harder things, such as metal armor and swords. The only things preventing her from doing it to something like human bones is the liquids in the human body distorting and disrupting the sounds and the magic inherent in living creatures providing a natural defense. The latter issue also prevents her from using this ability to destroy magically enchanted items unless she studies them long enough to find the right way to do it.
• Magic Dance: While not often used by Nyres herself, dance is one means to channel the rhythms Bardic magic uses. In one instance where she does use it, Nyres is fleeing pursuit and literally dancing up the stairs. With her final step she stomps the floor, collapsing the stairwell behind her.
• Magic Music: Nyres' stock and trade. Her talent with the famously finicky Bardic Magic exceeds that of anyone before or since. She prefers to use her power by singing but is equally proficient in the use of multiple instruments and dance.
• Make Me Wanna Shout: Nyres's primary offensive power. One of the simplest Bardic spells to perform and thus the least likely to fail or backfire if used in a hurry. Nyres's skill allows her to fine tune the effect to include concussive force, paralysis, or even carry the tone that activates the wildkins' conditioning over a wider range than normal, allowing for the calling if reinforcements.
• Manchurian Agent: Any wildkin living in nations that oppose the villains can potentially become this. How aware world leaders are of this varies. Some know there's something the villains can do to turn otherwise friendly wildkin into enemies, while others simple assume wildkin are naturally treacherous creatures.
• Manipulative Bastard: Nyres loves nothing more than being able to make others dance to her tune, be it literally or figuratively. She loves that she has an entire race of people at her beck and call.
• Mind-Control Music: How she enslaves the wildkin. The lullabies she taught them infect the minds of wildkin infants while other songs she taught help further reinforce this control.
• Moral Event Horizon: The characters' discovery of just how she manipulates the wildkin serves as this. As one character puts it, "the bitch tainted their lullabies!"
• Musical Trigger: A specific tone either sung by Nyres or played on a specially made whistle will put any wildkin who hears it into a trance, during which they are absolutely obedient to Nyres or whomever is holding the whistle. Nyres's control is absolute, the whistles' control depends on the condition of the instrument. The poorer the condition of the whistle, the greater the potential that its effects might be resisted.
• Revealing Cover Up: Nyres's most insidious command is one that forces wildkin parents to murder their children if they're born deaf or rendered so prior to a certain age. This is because wildkin children need to be exposed to her music from as close to birth as possible and up to a certain age for the conditioning to take hold correctly. However, Nyres implanted this command only for hearing impairment, which only raises the question of just why that sense is so important and providing a clue the protagonists can use to determine the nature of her powers.
• Shout-Out: Nyres's given name is a simple play on "Siren", as in the mythical creature. Her surname, Anui, is a play on "Yuna", the name of one of the leads of Final Fantasy X and Final Fantasy X-2. The link to X is that it, too, had a Big Bad that was repeatedly destroyed only to inevitably come back. In X-2, the "Songstress" Dressphere gives its user music and dance based powers and is heavily associated with Yuna during the story.
• Would Hurt a Child: Nyres has zero qualms about using her powers to Mind Rape the wildkin from virtually the day they are born. The only reason she isn't brainwashing them in the womb is she hasn't cracked how to do it, yet. Among the subliminal commands in her conditioning is one that causes parents to murder their own babies if they realize the child is deaf and, as a result, potentially immune to her control.

I love the Magic Music concept, especially how it's not one hundred percent accurate all the time. It's Awesome, but Impractical at its finest. I also like how her greatest character trait, her need for control, is her defining weakness, as she is easily torn to pieces every time she loses control. It's a Truth in Television in how the mind of a bullying narcissist works. Well done.

Now, for my latest villainous creation. This is from a Troperiffic sendup of campy '60s spy films that I've been working on. Entitled Magnum Opus, it tells the tale of Charlotte Magnum, a retired assassin who falls in love with film-loving college student Harrison Roland, whose best friend is the eccentric Joseph "J-Bird" Jones. When the Big Bad sets his plan in motion to Take Over the World, Charlotte, Harrison, and J-Bird team up with a clandestine spy organization named B.O.L.D (Bureau of Lethal Defenders) to put the madman in his place. Hilarity Ensues.

Without further ado, here's our bad guy!

Name: Trent Killigan

Age: 54

Personality: A malignant narcissist, Killigan is willing to do whatever it takes to get what he wants, and likes to throw childish tantrums whenever he doesn't get his way. He is prone to making wry quips, often at the expense of his enemies and his minions, and is convinced that since he has money he can do whatever the hell he wants.

Abilities: Rich, Evil Genius, and highly charismatic.

Weaknesses: His pride is his own downfall more often than not. Unable to take responsiblity for his actions and possessed by his own ego, Killigan is easy to emotionally manipulate, which the heroes use to their advantage.

Backstory: Killigan is a self-made millionaire, and founder of King Fizz, a soda company. Already infamous for his eccentric nature, Killigan once ran for president, and completely failed to gain an audience. Becoming enraged at the world for rejecting him as a serious candidate, Killigan became a recluse, secretly planning his vengeance. He created a poison that made people susceptible to subliminal programming, which he placed in his soda formula and then transported around the world. Putting subliminal messages in his advertising, he soon had the majority of the world hooked on King Fizz, transforming them into insane, rambling "Fizz Fanatics" who live and die for the soda, and follow Killigan's every command.

Role: Big Bad. Killigan kicks off the plot by poisoning most of the population, and then telling them through his subliminal messages to kill all of the "non-believers"; whoever didn't drink King Fizz was promptly exterminated. In the chaos, Killigan took over the White House, and turned the brainwashed President Heathcliff Rogers into his loyal slave. Since his pawns need to constantly dose themselves with the poison to remain under its effects, he continues to tell them through subliminal advertising to "buy King Fizz"; when B.O.L.D hijacks his frequency to subliminally implant the message of "King Fizz is disgusting" into his followers, Killigan loses control over them, prompting a Villainous Breakdown where he takes everyone in the White House hostage, and then tries to hold the entire world hostage with the nuclear football.

Goals: Take Over the World, eliminate all opposition to his rule

Motivations: Narcissism, wants revenge against the world for not taking him seriously as a presidential candidate

Related Tropes: Brainwashing, Corrupt Corporate Executive, Evil Genius, Laughably Evil, Narcissist, Psychopathic Manchild, Villainous Breakdown

edited 9th Jan '18 7:20:13 PM by JoeBlitz

"Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho."

I like the idea in general. Though I confess I find it hard to separate from certain, shall we say, political realities, which I think is affecting my view a bit.

EDIT: Given you call this guy your latest, I imagine that's intentional. For myself, I can't decide if that's a positive or a negative.

edited 10th Jan '18 10:19:12 AM by sgamer82

Great job! The only thing that really bugs me, though, is that people would probably take notice if their friends started going crazy after drinking the soda, but since the story is a parody, it's probably no big deal.

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I'm writing a My Little Pony fic about an alternate version of the Power Ponies. This villain is the Arch-Enemy of the Masked Matterhorn.

Name: Neon Flight (aka Shrike)
Age: Either high school or college age, whatever that may be in the MLP universe.
Personality: She can be cold a lot of the time, but she really does care. Starts off as a downplayed Jerk with a Heart of Gold before jealousy gets the better of her.
Abilities: She's already the fastest-flying pegasus in her school (and quite possibly in her entire hometown), and then another villain who also wants the Matterhorn out of the picture gives her retractable Hard Light Razor Wings.
Weaknesses: As you can probably guess, Hard Light wings are terrible for stealth. She's also a bit of a Fragile Speedster.
Backstory: Neon is one of the most popular and athletic in her school. She and Galaxy Star (aka the Masked Matterhorn) both have a crush on their classmate, Lucky Lights. When the Matterhorn first began her superheroics, Lucky admired her selfless determination to protect everyone. Neon, however, did not want some stranger stealing her stallion's affections from her. So she started trying to find out just who this masked mare was. Her attempts start small, but as her jealousy and her obsession with her goal grows, slowly escalate to becoming a full-blown supervillain.
Goals: Unmask or otherwise mess with the Masked Matterhorn, and win the love of Lucky Lights.
Motivation: She feels entitled to have Lucky ^note or at least not to lose him to a total stranger; she probably would have reacted differently if he had fallen in love with Galaxy herself rather than her alter ego, and her jealousy fuels her villainy.
Role: Arch-Enemy.
Tropes:

• Alpha B**** / Jerk Jock: Subverted. She may be popular and athletic, but she's actually quite nice to Galaxy. Double subverted when she makes her Face–Heel Turn. She's still friends with Galaxy, though.
• Animal-Themed Superbeing: As Shrike, she wears a black-and-white outfit to match the bird's colors, but is otherwise this In Name Only.
• Deal with the Devil: Or at least with a supervillain. This is how she gets her Razor Wings.
• Empowered Awesome Normal: She was already a good flier before her augmentation. Now she can really kick some tail.
• Excessive Evil Eyeshadow: Her alter ego wears black eyeshadow (as opposed to her normal pink).
• Foil: Both Neon and Galaxy have enhanced versions of their respective species' abilities: Neon has enhanced pegasus flight, and Galaxy has advanced unicorn magic.
  • Also, both of them liked Lucky Lights for the same reason. While Galaxy gave up having a romantic relationship with him when she realized it wouldn't work out, Neon became jealous, to the point of losing sight of why she liked him in the first place.
• Go-Karting with Bowser: She's still friends with Galaxy, despite them being archenemies. (Neither of them knows the other's Secret Identity, though.)
• Fragile Speedster
• Green-Eyed Monster
• Names to Run Away from Really Fast: Her supervillain persona is named after a bird that impales its prey on thornbushes.
• Murder the Hypotenuse: Downplayed to "Unmask/Humiliate the Hypotenuse," but may or may not eventually be played straight. (I haven't decided yet if I want to have her go that far.)
• Razor Wings: Of the Hard Light variety.
• Secret Chaser: Wants to find out the Masked Matterhorn's Secret Identity.
• Slowly Slipping Into Evil

edited 10th Jan '18 9:00:58 PM by AgentKirin

Excellent backstory. I think jealousy is a great way for a villain to have their Start of Darkness, and the Shrike is an excellent animal to theme one's motif around. Good work!

Now, this one is coming from the neo-noir screenplay I'm currently writing. Entitled The Hollow Point Kiss, it sees Deadpan Snarker teen Kitty Fincher teamed with Lamar Fox, an enigmatic teen with a Dark and Troubled Past, as they attempt to investigate the bizarre "suicide" of Kitty's cousin Alex. As they dig deeper into the mystery, they are framed for murder, uncovering a much larger conspiracy at play involving corrupt cops, stolen medical equipment, and a terrifying ring of criminals hellbent on doing their "work", no matter what the cost.

Ladies and gentlemen, the head of this ring of psychopaths...

Name: Doctor Herman Joshua

Age: 65

Personality: Dissonantly calm and collected, with a disturbing Lack of Empathy. Obsessed with his "mission", and will stop at nothing to continue doing it for years to come.

Abilities: Highly intelligent, be it in the fields of medicine, cover-ups, or murder. Rich as well, with half the town in his pocket.

Weaknesses: Utterly disconnected with reality, which makes him unpredictable, especially when someone calls him a "fraud" or mocks his "work".

Backstory: Joshua was a military doctor, final rank Major. Upon his retirement, he settled down in the small town of Integrity, where all seemed well... until his wife started dying of brain cancer. He felt powerless to end his wife's suffering, and when she finally died in extreme agony, he felt guilty, as he felt he should have noticed the symptoms earlier. Driven insane, he vowed that no one in pain, be they inflicted with physical or mental disease, would have to suffer any longer than they had to. He and his sons set up an illegal assisted suicide ring operating in Integrity, their services offered on the deep web. Making millions of dollars each year off the exploitable emotions of suicidal people, Joshua euthanized his customers with pentobarbital, which he had covertly stolen from a local veterinary clinic by an inside man, and soon paid of the police force to prevent them from looking into his affairs. He's been doing this for twelve years, and is doing quite well... until some troublesome teenagers start looking into his affairs.

Role: Non-Action Big Bad. Joshua kicks off the plot by having his sons murder Kitty's cousin Alexandra Bates when she learns that her boss is secretly selling pentobarbital to him, making the girl's death look like a suicide. When Lamar and Kitty discover a flash drive containing evidence of Alex's boss's corruption, Joshua tries to off them as well, attempting to make it seem that the unstable Lamar pulled a gun on a (dirty) cop and was promptly shot dead; this ends in the cop's death, though Joshua takes this in stride, since, now that Lamar has killed a cop, they can paint it that he's finally lost it, and have the whole country looking for him. Joshua personally shoots the corrupt sheriff in the head, framing Lamar for this as well. Meanwhile, when one of his customers shows up without his money thanks to an unlucky encounter with Kitty and Lamar, Joshua opts to let him go. The customer tells Joshua that he's a fraud for not just euthanizing him like he said he would, so Joshua opts to do just that... by putting the man in the furnace, still alive.

Goals: To earn a fortune by euthanizing suicidal people, to prevent anyone from discovering his illegal activities, to kill Kitty and Lamar

Motivations: He's been driven insane by grief over his wife's painful demise, which he holds himself responsible for. He believes that he can make up for his shortcomings by offering his illicit services on the Internet, and is utterly convinced that what he's doing is "necessary", and "beautiful".

Related Tropes: Ax-Crazy, Evil Old Folks, Lack of Empathy, Mad Doctor, Mercy Kill, The Sociopath, Tragic Monster

edited 14th Jan '18 7:55:27 PM by JoeBlitz

"Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho."

Sounds pretty interesting; he has a solid and consistent character motivation and a fairly decent backstory. It's an interesting set-up; the only thing I'd criticize is that we really don't need him going "insane" from his wife's death. It works, if anything, better if he's perfectly sane the whole time, since his motivation supports what he's doing completely.

Right, my go:

• Name:** Jaime Oscar Stimpson

• Age:** 38 as of 1964

• Personality:** Stimpson is a fairly pleasant guy who generally gets on pretty well with others, and makes friends quite easily. He's never really the centre of attention in a group of people- he's nobody's best friend- but he quite prefers it that way. Stimpson's villainy comes in the form of being a Dirty Coward with little to no loyalty to anyone or anything, and the fact he's a Chronic Backstabber.

Abilities: Can easily manipulate and gain trust, an excellent shot, and is rather surprisingly quite good at drawing.

Weaknesses: His lack of loyalty means that very few have Undying Loyalty to him; he actively avoids forming bonds with people beyond the superficial, out of a fear he will be unable to betray them when the time comes. This leaves him utterly desolate and depressed at times, but he knows it hurts considerably less than the death which will inevitably come once he does decide to look out for someone other than himself.

Goals: He merely wants to survive by any means necessary.

Motivation: Following his killing of his son and wife, he's adopted something of the Sunk Cost Fallacy as his mantra; he's already done unforgivable things to stay alive, thus he cannot possibly redeem himself and might as well embrace it.

Role in the story: Little more than a mook; his allegiance changes from Hartford to Alford to Schnieder back to Alford, before finally discarding his uniform entirely and joining an angry mob.

Backstory: Stimpson was best friends with a guy named Colin Marder, and both assisted the underground resistance against the Nazis along with Stimpson’s son Elliot Stimpson. Jaime left after he saw how Colin begged and begged for his life while he was captured, despite all his previous bravery. Jaime only survived because, of the three Nazis who were on duty, all died when one moron kicked the explosive in Colin’s pocket and killed them all. Jaime escaped and joined up with the Nazis, wanting to avoid Marder’s desperate and undignified begging, eventually becoming an officer, when his son Elliot was caught doing revolutionary work. General Aurenhiemer forced him to either shoot him, or his entire family would be killed. Stimpson obeyed and killed Elliot. When his wife found out, she tried to kill him too, and then he killed her instead, begging forgiveness even as he strangled her.

Stimpson now had nothing to lose. When General Mainer came to liberate towns, he betrayed the Nazis and personally killed General Aurenhiemer, while saving Joseph Mainer’s life. Joseph Mainer was impressed by his ability as a sharpshooter, and he worked his way up the ranks until he was finally transferred to the personal guard of Damien Gould: a well-paying position that was, fortunately, far, far away from the front lines.

When Gould was elected to President, Stimpson came with him and was one of the founding members of SAFE, the presidential bodyguard organization. His loyalty was tested during the Emancipation War, when he was offered a lot of money and resources to assassinate Gould; Stimpson refused, partly because he knew he would never survive killing him, and partly because he had never had much interest in money. He merely wanted to survive, and nothing else.

During the War of the Northern Depletion, his attempt to betray his comrades once again failed; he quickly surrendered to Fascist soldiers the moment they threatened his life, killing another agent named Morgan Burrows to prove his loyalty, but one of the soldiers there recognized him as the man who betrayed Aurenhiemer and decided to summarily execute him. Luckily for him, his life was saved by fellow SAFE member Carmine Hunter; the two attempted to escape from Nazi-occupied territory, and ended up actually forming a bond and actually destroying many key Nazi war assets.

Stimpson actually ended up becoming loyal to Hunter, even risking his life to gain vital intelligence and very nearly performing a heroic sacrifice to save him.

However, after they made it back to the front lines, it turned out that one of the Nazi soldiers who had initially captured Stimpson, named Henman, had survived, and told Hunter all about Stimpson’s repeated betrayals: of his family, of Aurenhiemer, of Burrows. Hunter, being a close friend of Burrows, tried to kill Stimpson; Stimpson, by some miracle, won, killed Hunter and then killed Henman to keep his secrets safe.

Similar displays of disloyalty were shown during the 1959 Coup attempt, in which Stimpson not only surrendered without a fight, but also fled the capital entirely. During the 1962 coup, he surrendered without a fight (to his credit, so did everyone else) and he did the same during the 1964 coup by Gil Alford. Seeing no safer option than serving the tyrant, he became one of the 50 members of SAFE who stood by Alford during the Tyranny.

Relevant Tropes:

• Affably Evil: Quite a nice guy in certain situations.
• Ambition Is Evil: Inverted. It's his lack of drive to aspire to anything greater than "alive" that makes him sink so low.
• Being Evil Sucks: He's desperately lonely and wishes he could bring himself to trust again. He also generally dislikes doing evil deeds and never does such of his own volition.
• Bodyguard Betrayal: Of the Betrayal by Inaction verarity.
• Chronic Backstabbing Disorder: Has virtually no loyalty at all.
• Dirty Coward: Will commit atrocities merely to survive.
• Even Evil Has Standards: He offered to check to see of any survivors of the Edgar Massacre needed medical attention, implying that it was going perhaps too far even for him. Alford shuts him down, and he never brings it up again.
• Extreme Doormat: Less spine than a jellyfish.
• Face–Heel Revolving Door: Resistance fighter to Nazi to President Gould to Nazi to Gould again; after Hugh Hartford won the 1960 election, Hartford to Lewis Lumley to Hartford to Alford to Schneider to Alford to Angry Mob. It's at the point where his door may be breaking the sound barrier.
• Fair-Weather Friend: Can be a great ally... as long as his life isn't is danger serving you.
• Fallen Hero: He and Marder were heroic members of the resistance until the latter's death.
• Heterosexual Life-Partners: With Colin Marder, until his death.
• In the Back: How he finishes of Burrows, and later, to Enoch Egerton, the only other survivor of Schnieder's failed coup attempt.
• Karmic Death: He's ultimately Devoured by the Horde when Thomas Fitzsimmons throws the mob his badge, proving he partook in the Edgar Massacre.
• Kick The Son Of A Bitch: Killing Aurenheimer, Egerton, and many Nazis during his temporary friendship with Hunter are some of his more sympathetic momenets. He particularly makes sure to take his time with Aurenheimer, blaming him for his wife and son's deaths.
• Kill the Ones You Love: Both his son, Elliot, and his wife, Jane. A platonic version with Hunter, to some extent.
• Pet the Dog: Is actually fairly pleasant when not being forced into evil; he'll do any number of good deeds as long as it doesn't have any negative impact on him. He'll also do many sketches free of charge for his comrades.
• Punch-Clock Villain: He finds no enjoyment in the evil he does, but does it anyway.
• Redemption Failure: The culmination of his friendship with Hunter.
• Those Wacky Nazis: Was one for a short while.
• Undying Loyalty: Oddly enough, to Carmine Hunter... at least for a short while.

edited 20th Jan '18 8:09:27 AM by bravo104

I now use the account Bennings if you care at all

You've got an interesting character with a solid motivation, who stops just short of being a Complete Monster (something I never thought I'd say about a character like this). Nice job.

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Here's another evil team from my Pokemon Super Fic. These guys operate in the southwestern zone of the Symphora region. They're a bit less developed than the two I've posted so far, but here goes nothing.

Name: Stardust Labs
Goal: They study people with superpowers to figure out how to replicate/counter those powers, and then sell their findings.
Methods: They get their test subjects from the aftermath of supervillain attacks and other such disasters ^note i.e. circumstances where the victims would be thought dead or missing, rather than kidnapped, a lot of which they set up themselves. They also operate in multiple separate groups, so that if one part of the organization is exposed, the rest is relatively unaffected.
Weaknesses: The very thing that keeps the organization from getting completely shut down is also a weakness: all these separate groups have difficulty unifying. It's pretty much only their methods and their motives that hold them together, rather than any overarching end goal.
Motivation: For money and For Science! Other motives vary.
Role: Minor antagonists. I've been toying around with ways to involve them in the backstory of Ignatia Ironwood, one of the major protagonists, and they do give a canon character who's new to the region a hard time. Aside from that, though, they don't have a huge role.
Relevant Tropes:

• Bullying a Dragon: They tend to run into this quite a bit
  • One of the biggest examples is a literal one: Ignatia Ironwood is part-Charizard due to a lab accident, and well-known to be one of the strongest supers in her zone. They still insist on messing with her.
• Make It Look Like an Accident: Applied to kidnapping rather than murder.
• Meaningful Name: All of the Symphora region's evil teams have this to some degree, but this one gets a special mention - the name "Stardust" not only relates to space (as their HQ is in a city built into a cluster of meteorite craters), but is also the name of a piece of Vendor Trash in the games, hinting at their motive.
• Mugging the Monster: At one point, they make the mistake of targeting Guzma. Curb-stomping ensues.
• Playing Both Sides: Teams Zenith and Halcyon have opposing goals and hate each other's guts. Stardust sells to both of them.
• Playing with Syringes / They Would Cut You Up: Pretty much their whole shtick.
• Weapon Of Choice: They mainly use artificial-looking Pokemon, like Steel and/or Electric types and the Porygon line, as well as the occasional Poison, Rock, or Dark type.

edited 21st May '18 1:10:38 PM by AgentKirin

I am kind of reminded of the Hidden Evil the Aether Foundation, though less sympathetic in origin by far. They seem like an excellent villain to have hidden away, manipulating things. Other than that I have not read many Pokefics, so my field of expertise is limited.

• Name: Aximarius Vyrgath (True name Unknown) / Vyrgath the Seeker

• Age: ??? (difficult to see his age due to his armor. He does appear to be 20s to 30s when the helmet comes off)

• Personality: Vyrgath the Seeker is a definitive show that even the Masque Sub-Branch of the Blackened Praetors can produce some scary guys - Vyrgath is utterly no nonsense - nothing gets past him. He is astute, sharp, and utterly cunning in pursuit of his goal, and anything he does is justified by his goal and his position. He is completely fearless, unafraid to leap right into the frontlines himself and fight difficult enemies without much support (like he needs much). Vyrgath basically lives in his armor, and despises the person he was before - not even speaking of his "old, dead name". What matters to him is achieving his assignment and finding what he's seeking, and then dragging "it" back, whether that "it" needs to be dragged kicking and screaming or not. While subservient to Nahath Asaropael, he makes it clear "I lost the rights to that position in clear combat with Asaropael - he earned my loyalty and service." Vyrgath is violent and brutal, but he never cowers and he never resorts to underhanded tricks to ensure a victory.

• Abilities:
  • Vyrgath, as with many Praetors, uses a powerful pair of weapons - a powerful Nihil Claw, and a segmented sword that almost looks like the blade is made of two sided axe heads, leading to a jagged point.
  • His heavy Powered Armor is stylized with his "tastes" in mind - ever in mind for the supposed "legion of live action roleplayers", his armor gives him that certain grim profile, two scythe like horns on his head, a red visor covering his eyes, and a voice changing box over his mouth to give him a booming voice. It includes a (hand made) fur cape, a shield generator on the wrist of his Nihil Claw, and a selection of grenades at his waist.
  • Vyrgath is astonishingly powerful and duplicates Caine Dekeren's feat of, while waiting for a Dark Gate to open, forcing it open with his hands.
  • Vyrgath casually mentions his sword has a demon inside it - the demon in question states outright Vyrgath "broke me in single combat, and sealed me within his sword." The demon gives it abnormal resilience, and incites hemophilia-esque wounds whenever the sword cuts someone.
  • He is a Blood Magic user, among other rather disturbing magic types - every single kind is devoted to making his job easier.

• Weaknesses: He is completely single-minded in pursuit of his goal. He is The Seeker indeed. Shin outplans him several times by simply making it seem his target is within sight.

• Goal: Capture the Macguffin Girl and drag her back to the Realm of the Gods.

• Motivation: He lost the Macguffin Girl due to her power activating and teleporting her out of his grip. He is very, very sour about this.

• Role in the Story: Possible Big Bad of a future RP.

• Backstory: He is a great unknown - very, very little is actually known about his past or why he is so cruel. Just that he is, and that he throws himself thoroughly into the role he entered. The only hint is that he is utterly unfond of his former life.

• Tropes:

• Ambition Is Evil: He desires to lead the Umbral Horde war force directly under Asaropael...but due to losing the Dynamizer, key to a number of plans, he is out until he brings her back. Hence his driving ambition.
• Asskicking Equals Authority: He earned his keep at the head of the Seekers, and is keen on reminding lackluster underlings the pecking order. He encourages this mindset in Max, urging him to kill Akhinos if he feels he is stronger.
• Badass Boast: "I will not be denied. Come with me, girl, or your newfound friends will pay the blood price for your mistakes."
• Black Sheep: In comparison to Masque Branch being Beware the Silly Ones and Laughably Evil, Vyrgath is a dead serious villain full of ambition, cruelty and brutality.
• Blood Knight
  • Sam Ehrlin: These traveling young people don't fear you, Vyrgath.
  • Vyrgath: Oh? That'll make killing them more satisfying - give me a brave warrior over a cowering maggot.
• Cerebus Syndrome: You can actually track when it starts...the Dynamizer pointing to the sky and saying "Look out! HE IS HERE!" And then the sky shatters open and a large, spiky ship flies out followed by two lesser ships, cutting to Vyrgath looking down at a scrying orb and then walking away.
• Cold Ham: He is mostly stoic and sadistic, and while he is fond of dramatic speeches and boasts, they're delivered in a cold tone.
• Cool Helmet: His visored helmet gives him a distinctive and menacing air - helped by the fact its mouth guard incorporates a voice changer, giving him a reverberating deep tone.
• Deadpan Snarker: Shows some tendency toward this;
  • Vyrgath: Akhinos, I saw the battle. And the only reason I keep you alive is because I consider the sounds you made as three thirteen year olds chased you off utterly amusing. You can be my court jester.
• The Dreaded: He is immediately known by his Macguffin Girl - the Dynamizer - and when the local youths are filled in, they quickly realize what a jump in antagonist difficulty they're facing now. Everyone gives Vyrgath a healthy dose of fear, for his strength, cunning, brutality and sheer stubborn grit in obtaining what he wants.
• Evil Weapon: His "Sword of Agony", which makes you bleed a lot more - and considering he can use magic involving your blood, this serves a grim sort of purpose.
• Facepalm of Doom: Tip - do not ever let him touch you with that Nihil Claw. He is shown slamming it in someone's face...and that person then swells up and explodes.
• Genius Bruiser: Loud, destructive, very vocal about the Gods and the pain he inflicts in their services, but at the same time keeps corruption in mind as a weapon, and is very discerning and cunning. It helps he needs both brains and might to find and return the Dynamizer.
• Kick the Dog: Corrupting Erin's younger brother Max into service as a member of his Seekers. In other words, taking a confused and directionless boy who lost his home town to Vyrgath's war force...and corrupting him into serving that very same war force, and directing his anger issues toward killing his sister.
  • Vyrgath: Perhaps my droll associates deceived you into thinking us all whimsical fools. This could well serve as a reminder - do not make the same mistake twice.
• Knight of Cerebus: Most of the Masque Branch are rather comical guys - one of them introduces himself as "Lemartaeus Calistarion", but then says "...my regular human name is Jake Kenton." Compare this with Vyrgath the Seeker here, who enters the story ripping a hole in the sky with his three airships, led by Predator Blade, his personal ship.
• Leitmotif: In the possible RP, his appearance is precipitated and followed by Yousei Teikoku's Herrscher.
• No-Holds-Barred Beatdown: He brutally crushes people especially early on - rule being do not fight him very long early. It won't end well.
• No-Nonsense Nemesis: Genre Savvy, well aware of how to cultivate a terrifying persona, never screws around in a fight, brutal beyond measure...Vyrgath earns his slot in this trope.
• One-Man Army: Just because you fought off or beat his honor guard and troops, don't think the battle's won. Vyrgath is a powerful figure in his own right, and he's used to dealing with many foes.
• Pet the Dog: Unlike many other such villains, he welcomes Max in with open arms, and personally trains him - though a rather twisted example.
• Red Baron: He is deemed the Seeker as this trope because he doesn't stop "seeking" what he wants, though some call him The Pursuer, which is a more straightforward example.
• Submissive Badass: He doesn't want to pull a Starscream on Asaropael...he wants to be his head general. He knows Asaropael was and is stronger than him, and when he's beat.
• To the Pain: "Allow me to elucidate, Sir. For each "umm" and "uhh" you say from here on out, I will snap one of your fingers with my Nihil Claw. Do I make myself clear?"
  • "If you fools do not return with the Dynamizer, I will throw you out the airlock at 1000 feet, pick up your bodies, have you resuscitated and then do it all over again."
  • "Your first mistake was fighting me. Your second mistake was bringing that pitiful excuse for a weapon. And your third mistake was assuming I wanted you as a captive - all I want from you is a long, arduous scream to please the God of Blood."
• Villainous Valor: Chief enemy he may be, but he is far and away from being a coward or an armchair general. At all times, he fights on the bleeding front with his army.
• We Can Rule Together: He makes this offer to Max.
  • Vyrgath: I see within you smoldering rage. Hate bound only by a propriety I would encourage you to dissolve, and loyalty that goes utterly unrewarded. Stand by me, and you will become someone she cannot so easily control.
  • Max actually accepts it, desperate and angry as he was.
• Wolverine Claws: Wields one - the Nihil Claw. His is specified to be even more powerful than most.

edited 21st Jan '18 3:03:47 AM by NickTheSwing

Wow, this guy is definitely worthy of the title of Big Bad. Threatening, but not without personality, and one of those cases where not knowing his whole backstory is more effective. Seems like you have a good setup for Asaropael to be the Bigger Bad as well.

---

I haven't read a lot of Pokefics either. I'm just going off of the patterns I've seen in the canon and playing with them a bit. I'm breaking the pattern of there (usually) being only one villain team to a region, because it's a Super Fic, and the superheroes need supervillains to fight, and it would be a bit of a stretch to have all of said supervillains come from the same source.

Edited by AgentKirin on Sep 17th 2018 at 9:45:04 AM

Sounds like the epitome of cool villains. Honorable, yet mysterious, and ultimately terrifying. Very good job!

Now, here's one from one of my older stories that I've recently revisited. Entitled Hero Syndrome, it tells the story of sixteen-year-old Zora "Sugar" Kane, a Brilliant, but Lazy Deadpan Snarker turned reluctant hero after she's exposed to a lab-engineered symbiote (codenamed Lifeblood), which gives her a Healing Factor as well as the ability to shapeshift, quite similar to the T-1000. Using her newfound abilities, she works to prevent the symbiote from falling into the wrong hands, pitting her against a Big Bad Ensemble in the process. The first half of this ensemble is who I will discuss now...

Name: Vaughn J. Salt a.k.a. "The Wraith"

Age: 40

Personality: Highly competent, confident, cold-blooded, and calculating, Salt is ruthlessly devoted to completing his mission, and is obsessed with revenge against the government. When he is exposed to Lifeblood, he also suffers from one of its major side effects; complete and utter insanity.

Abilities: Skilled marksman, hand-to-hand combatant, and tactician. Upon his exposure to Lifeblood, he suffers from the other major side effect (though this one isn't present in Sugar, for reasons explained in the second installment); mutation into a behemoth of green, indestructible flesh. He gains a healing factor as well, making him nigh-indestructible.

Weaknesses: Lifeblood breaks apart in high heat, and when the other primary antagonist creates an antidote that kills the symbiote and the host, this becomes his and his newly-mutated army's other major weakness.

Backstory: Salt is a former agent for a covert black ops group. He had an extreme rivalry with fellow agent Orson Killgrew (who plays a key role in the second and third installments), who derided him as "soft". Entrusted with tracking down "enemies of the state", Salt was eventually seduced by one of his targets, whom he ran away with and fathered a daughter. A government raid, led by Killgrew, ended with the death of Salt's lover and child, though he barely escaped with his life. Driven by a need for revenge, Salt began orchestrating terrorist attacks to lash out against the President, and lies in waiting for the day when he may storm the White House and unleash hell on his enemies.

Role: One half of the Big Bad Ensemble. Salt is introduced half-way through the second act, when he purchases the stolen Lifeblood formula from the other villain, Corrupt Corporate Executive Dylan Smallwood. Mutating himself and his cronies into monsters, Salt storms the White House, and leads a bloody campaign against the United States, taking many people hostage as food for his mutant army. He personally crushes Detective Paula McQueen to death in his death grip, and intends to execute the President in a similar matter on live TV before conquering the rest of the world as well. He also hopes to get his hands on Killgrew, who he has "unfinished business" with. When confronted by Sugar Kane, he tries to pull a We Can Rule Together, and upon his defeat, he claims to have information regarding the death of Sugar's father, but he is blown up by an unknown assailant before he can elaborate.

Related Tropes: The Dreaded, Even Evil Has Loved Ones, I'm a Humanitarian, Knight of Cerebus, Rogue Agent, The Sociopath, Tragic Villain, Western Terrorists

"Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho."

Nice foil you've got there, both in powers and in name. He's also got a solid motive in addition to his symbiote-induced insanity. You might want to pick a color for his mutated form other than green, though. (Unless you go for more of a sickly acid shade of green.)

---

Here's the fourth villain team from my Pokemon Super Fic, with its base of operations in the northeastern zone of Symphora. I was debating whether it was even ready to post or not, since it's the least developed of the teams by far.

Name: Terminus
Goal: To summon the Destroyer Deity Olympus Mons Noviru and Tyragnok to end the world.
Methods: They do a lot of stuff typically associated with fictional cults, up to and including (attempted) Human Sacrifice.
Weaknesses: All of their efforts are accomplishing absolutely nothing. The legendary Pokemon were going to show up anyway, and don't give a crap about whatever the puny mortals are doing.
Motivation: They seriously think they alone will be spared by the legendary Pokemon when they bring the apocalypse. They won't.
Role: Definitely not the Big Bad. I might use them to introduce a character (by having said character kick their butts). That's about it at the moment, though.
Relevant Tropes:

• Apocalypse Cult: To the point where I'm pretty sure I'm taking it too far.
• Evil Is Not a Toy: Played with. The cult wasn't actually summoning the Olympus Mons - they were already coming.
• Harmless Villain: Also played with. While they are capable of doing harm on a small scale, they're ultimately accomplishing nothing.
• Human Sacrifice: They will most likely attempt to sacrifice one or more of the main protagonists at some point in the story. (Hopefully I'll figure out a less Worf Effect-ridden way to introduce the character who helps thwart them.)
• Names to Run Away from Really Fast
• Obviously Evil: As Pokemon villains often are. These guys not only act like typical cultists, but dress the part too, with ominous robes and everything.
• Omnicidal Maniac: They believe they'll be the last ones standing after the apocalypse they're trying to cause.
• Weapon Of Choice: Because Noviru is Fire/Fairy type and Tyragnok is Poison/Dragon, the cult uses Pokemon of those four types a lot.

Edited by AgentKirin on Aug 17th 2018 at 12:17:43 PM

Ah, a good, ol' Starter Villain. Those never get old.

...Terminus is a rather... interesting name. Did he pick it himself? I might have gone for a name that was less Obviously Evil, unless he has a reason for it (e.g. "Hear me, Ancient Ones! My name is Terminus, and I am the one who destroyed these people in your name! Me! Notice me!"). Aside from that, all he needs is, in my opinion, a bit more development, as you stated you were giving him. Perhaps an entitlement complex, or maybe some serious butt-kissing to save his hide?

Here's a list of mindsets to look over in case you either want to solidify his thoughts in your head, or even if you think more than one sounds fun and you want to mix & match.

Now then, my latest creation, something made for the world of Pathfinder! I present to you not the Big Bad (I'm going for something more like a villainous team with many members running many different things this time), but instead an older, more ingrained power that kicked off the plot by complete accident.

Name: Vox Tenebrae (scientific name, meaning "Voice of the Darkness"), The Darkness (common name). When referred to by a pronoun, "him," and "it" are used interchangeably.

Age: Unknown. Many ancient stories include a figure much like him in them, but it is difficult to ascertain whether this is the same one. He claims to be the very same, but that doesn't really help much. The truth is even The Darkness isn't entirely sure how far back it goes. It can't tell when it was asleep and when it had yet to exist, and the only folks old enough to know are completely clueless to its existence.

Personality: The Darkness is a Great Gazoo who loves to screw over those who enter their domain for laughs. Despite the oppressive sounding name, it's actually a fairly excitable creature that enjoys company, even if it usually just watches them struggle and squirm, like a young boy plays with a caterpillar in his hands.

Abilities: ...Oh boy...

• As the Domain Holder of their own Pocket Dimension, The Darkness allows anyone who speaks a secret magic rhyme in a suitably dark place to open a portal into his realm, and from there, they can travel to any place they desire as long as there is a nice, shadowy place to leave from, with the journey becoming much, much shorter than simply going by foot. The only drawback is, of course, having to put up with the owner, who frequently winds up making them regret their decision to use its domain with shifting landscapes, terrifying phantasms, and other assorted Curses and traps, using the promise of potentially priceless treasure as a way of suckering in more people to play with.
• Aside from the god-like power he wields within his own dimension, and many other powers he possesses, he also has a particularly strange ability: the gods are completely incapable of noticing him. Their eyes always glance over his magic, and his presence is completely undetectable to them, a phenomenon that has troubled many clerics and wizards. When they DO detect his presence in the world, typically from mortals referring to him by name, it is exceedingly painful. While they tend to forget the experience shortly afterwards, if it goes on for too long, they may start to notice.

Weaknesses:

• The Darkness has a revulsion to light, and lighting a torch, candle, or light spell in its presence will buy you some extra time as it pulls back. However, it won't be too long before it manages to Fight Off the Kryptonite and extinguish your flame between its fingers, quite upset, and much less likely to remain Affably Evil with you.
• Thankfully for the world, The Darkness is an All-Powerful Bystander, preferring to laze about in his demiplane than try to take over the world. He's also a Fair-Play Villain, as he tries to avoid making his gauntlets more deadly than is truly reasonable for the adventurers and is genuine when he promises them fantastic rewards for getting through, though they may not be 100% safe.

Goals: It is Common Knowledge that The Darkness wants to Take Over the World, but according to them, they don't care. They've been considering it, and as they collect more and more magical items, between travelers that fell before him and his spawn's scavenging in the Material Plane, he's noticed that he's close enough that, if he could just get a few more items, he could absorb his giant hoard and use his newfound power to drown out the sun, but that could incur the wrath of the gods, who might decide that the world needs... rebooting. He's powerful, and the gods can't detect him normally, but that much interference is sure to grab their attention, and he's not powerful enough to tangle with an entire pantheon of angry, terrified deities who get a migraine just looking at him. As such, they aren't too keen on the idea.

Motivation: The Darkness' biggest desire is companionship. It feels trapped in its realm, and because its existence is a fairly well-kept secret known mostly by kobolds and a few wise men, and his reputation tends to make him a last resort, The Darkness is starved for social interaction.

Role in the Story: For the most part, The Darkness is a Great Gazoo that allows me to get creative and heinous with my players, allowing them to get to anywhere they need quickly, if they deem it worth the risk (how else might they get to a flying castle, for example?). As the story progresses, the actual Big Bad, the small necrocracy known as the Skull, reveals their plan: Obtaining enough power to lead the charge against The Darkness so that they don't have to live in a world where their (un)lives aren't cast about like leaves in the wind by an omnipotent being of shadow with a sadistic streak when it "inevitably" decides to take over all of reality, either by getting the gods to accept their demands to remake the world, or by getting one of their own raised to godhood so that they can fight the horror directly and give them preferential treatment afterwards.

Backstory: The Darkness is the result of a Negative Space Wedgie of sorts, born when the Negative Energy Plane and the Plane of Shadow had a big, long overlap many years ago, a diabolical cross resulting in a massively powerful, evil blight upon the planes. Originally much more hostile to all of reality, being Made of Evil and all, its repeated attempts to reach into the planes around it to cause strife and misery resulted in the creature learning about mortal behavior and becoming interested. With a quick casting of Miracle to help it avoid Evil Cannot Comprehend Good, it became Intrigued by Humanity and became more and more domesticated. After many years, it has become The Darkness we know today, a frightening, but comparatively more friendly entity, even if it still has a bit of a sadistic streak.

Relevant Tropes

• Ambiguously Evil: He tends to sway between Affably Evil and Faux Affably Evil depending on the day, and it's hard for many people to determine how dangerous he really is. This inconsistency is part of what set the plot in motion.
• Artifact of Doom: He has a nice collection of them, which he hands out to the (likely traumatized) travelers that make it through his domain like a deranged Chuck E. Cheese employee.
• Berserk Button: Light sources outside of himself. If he wants you to be able to see, he'll give you some natural light to work with. Using a candle or torch in his lair is offensive.
• Curb-Stomp Battle: Frequently a Defied Trope. The Darkness considers stupidly one-sided fights boring, preferring more climactic confrontations, so it tends to do battle in a very flashy, grandiose manner. However, in a straight-fight with a foe that is either powerful enough to give it pause or sufficiently annoying, it is quite a Combat Pragmatist, preferring to end the fight with one hit and a trademark Sickening "Crunch!".
• Did We Just Have Tea with Cthulhu?: Not only does he treat his challenges as games, he's ecstatic to see someone come back for more!
• The Dreaded: The mortals who know about him fear his great power. The gods' reaction to him is closer to, say, the forum-goers reminiscing about Candle Cove.
• Eldritch Abomination: An utterly massive monster the gods can't understand that warps reality in its home plane? It qualifies.
• Evil Is Bigger: He's absolutely titanic, almost to the point of being a Genius Loci in his home plane.
• The Gadfly: "Mortals are just so easy to provoke, and they can react in so many different ways. It's positively adorable!" A favorite pastime of his is spouting Magi Babble about "keeping the balance of shadow and light in the world in a stable level of wobbly equilibrium so as to prevent a temporal collapse in the existosphere..." at travelers for as long as he can until he starts Corpsing and just laughs at their confused faces.
• Greater-Scope Villain: Of a strange sort.
• Great Gazoo: For every three people that enter his domain, one of them leaves without seeing him, another is never heard from again, and a third comes out with some sort of prize that winds up getting him killed later down the line. At least, that's the saying.
• Hopeless Boss Fight: If challenged, The Darkness will happily show you why he's to be feared.
• Interface Screw: Example complications that may arise while traveling through his lair include shuffled character sheets, giving commands in rhyme or wasting your time, and confusing DM description of the surroundings.
• Intrigued by Humanity: "Mortals on the Material Plane are SO much more interesting than any of the other planar beings. Those guys tend to stick to their code and never deviate too far away from it. There's only so many times you can hear a pit fiend promise to have its revenge before you crush it into paste, removing it from all space and time forever, before it starts to get dull, y'know?"
• Just Toying with Them: He's never "giving his all," when he's trying to kill you. Even when he's trouncing his opponents by spam-casting Miracle to duplicate any spell he pleases or using Greater Demiplane to screw with the battlefield, The Darkness is not going all-out. It's only when he is sufficiently angry with a foe, or sufficiently scared by them, that he will use his Signature Move.
• Living Shadow: This is The Darkness' appearance, an unbelievably massive shadow with burning lights for a face.
• Make a Wish: Not a lot of creatures are capable of casting Miracle as a spell-like ability. Even fewer are capable of casting it as much as they want. The Darkness is an exception.
• Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant: At his worst, The Darkness' "games" can be genuinely horrifying. Having your brains switched around magically, leaving you confused as to why you're suddenly shorter, hairier, and have round ears? That's funny. Having your eyes plucked out for a while, leaving you wandering around in pitch darkness? Less so.
• The Omnipotent: Compared to everything else in Golarion, the only thing stronger than him is the gods themselves.
• Original Character: Is being used in the setting of Golarion and is entirely homemade.
• Physical God: So powerful that, if given a full statblock, it would likely have stats closer to a Final Fantasy boss than Pathfinder.
• Reality Warper: The examples given on this page are just a small taste of what Vox Tenebrae can do.
• Signature Move: When The Darkness decides to quote Inigo Montoya, he dispenses with the flashy spells, lets the the shadows congeal around them, and simply removes them from existence with a single, crushing blow.
• Spell My Name with a "The": No, that's not a typo. You always capitalize the "The." It's part of his identity.
• Then Let Me Be Evil: He's not going to try and take over the world, but an attempted assault on his life will give him sufficient cause to do so, at least to prevent a second go.
• Troll: The Darkness is open to suggestions regarding how best to make your life Hell, so it's best if you keep your mouth shut and don't let him know when and how to whip out Chandler's Law.
• Unreliable Narrator: He tells a lot of stories about his past to those who will listen. Many of them are quite false, such as him taking the credit for many other fables involving beings like him, be they based on a true story or completely fabricated, being older than the gods, being so powerful the gods are scared of him, and being omniscient right after he's just been surprised by an action taken by a traveler. He ISN'T lying about is his lack of interest in world domination, his lack of knowledge about his origin date, and his desire for company, but with all of his balderdash, it's hard to tell, sometimes.
• Voice of the Legion: Downplayed: The Darkness' voice has a bit of reverb to it, which I'm considering getting a prop for to better portray. Otherwise, I'll probably go for a bubblier impression of Death.
• Weaponized Offspring: Produces little spawn which mirror various other monsters, with alien traits added on as seen fit and uses them to fill out its challenges.

...I think I'm done editing this, unless someone asks a question or points out an editing error. Thanks for the feedback, guys! I feel really good about this!

edited 1st Feb '18 6:19:12 PM by NoSpoilerz

First off, awesome name. It's very fitting, and sounds just the right level of sinister. Its behaviors and its motivation make it kind of Creepy Cute as well, which helps separate it from more traditionally malevolent Eldritch Abominations. Having its abilities leave room for GM creativity is also a nice touch. Great job!

---

Terminus isn't one individual, it's a cult. ^note But the idea of a Harmless Villain choosing the name in an attempt to get the Olympus Mons' attention is downright hilarious. It kinda reminds me of the original concept I had for the Big Bad before I scrapped him. I haven't come up with their leader yet (although the mindset list will definitely help with that). As for the name, I was trying to find something that related to their goal while also fitting both legendaries. You're right, though, I did go a bit too far. I'll look for a better name while I get the other stuff sorted out.

Thanks for the feedback! I wasn't sure about going with "The Darkness" at first, but I think simplicity has its place, sometimes.

Also, for a team name, how about something like, "Ragnarok Corporation: Helping You Be Prepared for the Worst!" It ties into the idea of Ragnarök Proofing, which it can use as a nice front while also coming off as REALLY sinister to people that know better.

I think it's genius. I'm also currently coming down sick at 3:00 AM, so maybe my judgment's off, but I think it's genius.

Also, your legendaries look pretty good!

Thanks! I hope you start feeling better soon.

After a bit of consideration, I was thinking of going with a name like "the Remnant," as it sounds less ominous while still relating to their goal. Even though as minor antagonists they're not supposed to be too subtle, having a more neutral-sounding name does make them more believable.

After looking through the list you linked to, their mindset seems to be something along the lines of an entitlement complex ("We're the ones fulfilling this prophecy by summoning the legendary Pokemon, so clearly it will spare us out of gratitude"), with perhaps a little bit of desperation motivating them as well (since Prophecies Are Always Right, they're clinging to whatever shred of hope they can find). ^note The Ragnarök Proofing idea is a good one. I probably won't be using that for the Remnant, though.

Edited by AgentKirin on Aug 17th 2018 at 12:22:06 PM

Honestly, Your Big Bad sounds like he was right, The Darkness might not be Pure Evil, but damn that is dangerous. It certainly works pretty well for a villain for a Tabletop game, alien enought to be feared, sympathetic enought to not be hated.

Watch me destroying my country

Well, now is time for a entire faction, I put their Arch-Enemy faction before, so is time to put their main enemy.

Name: The Kingdom of The Old Gods

Age: Thousands of years. Too much to be fully understand for humans. Just like their enemies.

Abilities: Its massive army, the lots of alliances of Gods and Demon Lords, and eventually, groups of Warriors of human origin.

Weaknesses: They are the definition of Fascist, but Inefficient. S-sorry! Not Fascist, I mean, Free and strong!

More exactly, they actually manage to be a strong and powerful army…and awfully bad at actual rulership. The only time that they could actually build a actual, funtional and actually admirable kingdom was when they were ruled for Marduk and when they managed to work together to actually use their natural resources to turn the Hell in a Arcadia (yeah, they can do that, is just that because they are fans of conflict they are too busy fighting others). They are awful at governing, and while they are better at fighting (waaaay better), they arent unbeatable.

Goals: Defeat the Divine Alliance and then return to the age of The Old Gods , where humans, gods and demons lived alongside each other…. In eternal conflict between civilizations, where the Top God s changed almost every decade and only the highest ones could have a stable rulership. That or Lucifer managing to Take Over the World and instauring a Randian “utopia”. Pure freedom, right?

Motivation: Reach their goals, getting their revenge against the Divine Alliance, recover their old ranks as gods of entire civilizations, some demons that want to be free to do whatever they want, is a wide range of motivations. But the overall goal is destroying the Divine Alliance and Take Over the World, not to rule it, but to destroy is order and balance.

Backstory: Founded for Marduk, in the age of the Babel Empire, the Advanced precursors to the Babylonic empire and actually, all of the humanity of their natal world.

The Kingdom of Babel, as it started, was a prosperous Kingdom that was founded after the defeat of Eldritch Abomination Tiamat , until the constant use of the powers of mana, the power of Light and Darkness caused the appeareance of the Axis Mundi, a natural cycle where the entire civilization would be put at judgement for the reality itself. El, the brother of Marduk, realized that if they won against the Axis Mundi, then they would start destroying all reality, so the best plan was actually hiding inside the Earth and control their advances until they could find a “perfect order, balance and harmony” with the Universe. Marduk kept fighting until the Axis Mundi caused a massive disaster that destroyed the Galactic civilization, while the gods and their worshipped managed to survive by hiding into the Earth.

Marduk, ashamed of himself, faked his death. Until he came back, leading the remanents of his Kingdom to fight against his brother, that, in his eyes, refused to the progress of humanity, by stopping the “natural cycle of destruction and creation”, if Marduk won, he would have put The Multiverse into danger, by moving it closer to the Abbys, and starting a new age of Gods and heroes for everyone, unlike his brother, El, which wanted to create a world where gods and humans lived separate until “the promised day” where they could finally live in peace. Ultimately, after a long war that destroyed the old universe, while taking Marduk with it. El, now know as Yahweh, would start a Alliance of Gods that will control the world and protect it from any being that wanted destroy the “sacred order and balance of our world”. The leaders of the army of Marduk and other rebels against the regime of The Alliance were send to Hell, where they lived, fighting between each other trying to rise in top, until Lucifer was send to it for His rebellion agains the Angels. Lucifer managed to unite the falled gods and actually managed to have a decent goverment (Just as Yahweh wanted, Lucifer would create peace in Hell, and because they are sealed in it, the demons and the falled gods wouldnt be a danger to anyone) until a day where Lucifer got the help of a mysterious demon, which teach them to how destroy the barriers of Hell and manage to invade Heaven and kill Yahweh with a Old weapon. Lucifer (re)build the Tower of Babel and used it as a Conduct of mana to destroy Heaven, Kill the God kill Yahweh without fighting him directly and destroy the seal that was inflicted in Hell, so the Kingdom was free again.

But their plans werent over, when the Human World was in WW 2, Lucifer and the Kingdom of the Old Gods had a secret Alliance with the Axis powers (the Axis had the help of the demons, but they really didnt know the full story behind them), giving them some support, extending WW 2 for a entire century. Until the constant war awake the Axis Mundi again, and then, all the world was wiped out for it, Lucifer wanted move his Kingdom to the destroyed earth alongside with his Axis Friends, but then He realized that the destruction of the Axis Mundi wouldnt be a “destroy all civilization” but rather a “wiping out all human life in Earth”, he tried to run away but he was killed for the destruction. Lucifer memory was saved for his Kingdom, who resurrected him, after that, The Kingdom lived peacefully, using the Pillars that they created in the WW 2 era to keep their Natural Harmony, alonside some humans that were fused with demons and helped demons with regular human sacrifices. It was good, as good as a Randian “goverment” can be (it was basically Feudalism).

But then the Human survivors invaded it, what it started as a scientific exploration for the humans turned into a war where the initially small and insignificant groups of humans got stronger than expected, their actions caused a civil war between the Demon Lords, and finally the demi-humans that were the basis of the current society of Hell, were anhilated in a genocide, they were only 683, but after six months, there were zero. The Pillars that kept the Hell as a prosperous land were gone, and the Hell start to decay again. Lucifer went up to the human world, to find a way to invade it and save his Kingdom, because it was obvious now that the Hell was doomed and that there was no way to save it.

Now, Lucifer want find a way to how invade the Human world, save his people and create his Randian Kingdom and also, the Rightful King Returns, Marduk is planning his comeback to rule his Kingdom again, using The Chosen One as his High Priest. Strangely, they dont hate each other, and in fact, Lucifer is glad as having Marduk again, because Marduk is a God that had won his respect and Marduk is proud at seeing how Lucifer had kept his Kingdom. They still want rule The Kingdom in their own way, but they have no plans to start a civil war over it.

---

Now, my favorite part of this. The tropes about them and their ideology:

The Kingdom: How they like to see themselves, a reign of freedom and creativity, they actually managed to fit the archetype in their best times, but is clear that when they are succesful, is in spite of their ideology that besides it.

The Empire: How they are to everyone besides themselves.

The Old Gods: Is literally in their name, as a subversion, they arent actually different to the "new gods".

The Social Darwinist: Their main philosophy, given that everyone had a will of their own, only the strongest “more true” wills should be at top, they have banned slavery, but is clearly a ban In Name Only, and they are perfectly fine with it.

Order Versus Chaos: The Chaos of the equation. Subverted in that they actually are a distorsion of what Chaos actually means and they got No Sympathy ideologically from other Chaotic characters

-Chaotic Good: How they like to paint themselves, Lucifer certainly see himself as this. Lord Yama is actually this.

-Chaotic Neutral: How most of them actually see themselves, amoral and chaotic.

-Chaotic Evil: How they are actually, this is the reputation that they have earned arround their story of violence, and is well earned. While they can Pet the Dog , they are ultimately, a bunch of violent demons and resentful gods trying to turn the world into a lawless mess where they can do whatever they want.

Romanticism Versus Enlightenment: Team Romanticism, by far.

Those Wacky Nazis: They helped them, even if they didnt believe their ideology totally, albeit, Lucifer was a bit too happy with the whole killing Jews, he loved seeing them lose their faith in God. So much that He helped the Nazis only for that, at least initially.

A Nazi by Any Other Name: They did not believe their ideology totally, but partially, they actually believe something similar enough to be be this trope. In two different flavors.

-Lucifer wants Take Over the World and return the world to a pseudo feudal system, where only the strongest could rule, creating a society that is contantly competing with itself and in where every person that refuses to worship nature and destroy the remanents of the old human civilization (such as believing that rights are something innate rather than earned, yes, people will have to “earn” their rights) will be reduced to a second class citizen at best, or outright killed at worst. You know, for Freedom!

-Marduk had Lucifer Social Darwinism Up To Eleven, because while Lucifer want create a civilization based on it, Marduk just want to destroy all of them. Marduk will the King In Name Only, because his only role would be destroy any type of worldwide cilization, while his Kingdom could permit the existence of something like Lucifer Randian Nightmare Fuel dystopia and even some good kingdoms, the moment where a civilization that actual moral codes instead of just the rulers deciding what they want, something like a modern democracy appear. That civilization is doomed. Marduk will create a new age of gods and heroes in all The Multiverse. Basically, Marduk want turns the entire universe into the Hyperborian Age and keeps it in that Medieval Stasis forever.

edited 29th Jan '18 12:20:23 PM by KazuyaProta

Watch me destroying my country

Overall opinions in the villains mentioned? Not only mine, but the others too.

Watch me destroying my country

I apologize. My illness got worse for a few days, and I'm still recovering, though I'm getting better. Now then, your stuff!

• I'm interested by the different characterizations that they have, those being what they try to give in propaganda, what they actually believe, and what they are thought of as. That's a fun trichotomy.
• The intraparty disagreements between the likes of Lucifer and Mundus even as they're working together add a nice bit of extra conflict, perhaps hinting that one of the two is going for a knife to stick in their comrade's back.
• Why are they called the Old Gods if they're just as old as their rivals? That title is usually reserved for creatures whose faiths have been around for longer than their contemporary rivals like Jesus, Zeus, and Odin. If they aren't really older, then why did they choose that name? Is it to make their party seem more important and respectable? Do they believe that the Appeal to Tradition is how they're going to get more followers? Did you pick the name because it sounded cool and forget that it needs a reason behind it?
• Proof-reading is not optional. Please patch this up in the book you're writing, or at least learn a bit about spell-checking. I'm serious. Even your profile signature makes no sense. That would improve reading pleasure immensely. Thank you.

End Result: I see potential for bickering and a story centered around perspective. I also see some things which seem like mistakes. They can easily be patched up, and you might have an interesting read.

I'm rather amused and proud that even with supernatural evil demons aiding the other side, the Allies still managed to fight off the Axis Powers for a hundred years. Not sure if Fascist But Inefficiant applies though. Not being organized seems to to part of their aims, not a byproduct of their system. I am curious as to why Yahweh wanted peace and a government in Hell if it's supposed to be a prison. It just encourages a prison break, as we see actually does happen. Really gotta respect their determination to stick to their own line about standing for freedom and utopia when they're conducting human sacrifices. That takes a great about of cynicism or delusion or dark humor which is refreshing to see in self styled "elder gods."

• Name: Saya Sey Rannah Terra, or just Lady Saya
• Age: 22
• Personality: Headstrong to the point of stubborness. Saya is a very active and friendly young woman who prefers action over etiquette, to the dismay of her ladder climbing parents. Loyal to a fault, and prone to daydreaming. She loves the idea of being a chivalric knight and can't say no to those in need.
• Abilities: As a member of the nobility, Saya posses enhanced human capabilities thanks to the genetic engineering her ancestors went through. Faster, stronger, better senses and a quicker mind. She heals faster, can withstand things better than a normal human and will live longer as well. Combine this with the power armor she wears into combat after joining the Star Knights and she is the ultimate warrior.
• Weaknesses: But not the ultimate leader. All those physical and mental upgrades don't mean much if you can't actually make a decision. Saya is prone to freezing or picking the first option that comes to her head when confronted with an issue. As time goes on conflicting loyalties and compromises to her honor start taking a toll on her mind, leaving her jumpy and stressed. That most of the populace sees her as serving a despotic regime does little for her morale either.
• Goals: Defend her queen and country from an insurgency that has torn the interstellar Empire apart in a civil war.
• Motivation: Many years ago her great-great grandfather led a group of heroes in restoring the rightful monarch to the throne in the face of an oppressive usurper. Saya grew up hearing stories of her patriarch's greatness and yearns to emulate him by becoming a heroic Star Knight in her own right. And the nobles are genetically superior, they have the right, the responsibility to be the ones ruling, a few bad eggs aside. Saya has to protect the natural order of things.
• Role in the story: After joining the war Saya provides perspective on the conflict from the Imperial side.
• Backstory: The direct descendent of a legendary hero, Saya dreamed of joining the Star Knights, the great chivalric order dedicated to truth and justice within the Empire. She finally got her chance when the civil war broke out. That dream became a nightmare when she discovered one of her close friends, a common boy who had been her gardener, had joined the insurgency and the Knights order that had so long stood for good was led by vile dullards and seen by many as the shock troops of a tyrant. The rapid development of new weapons makes it harder to find glory in the total war planet after planet is engulfed in. It doesn't help that she can't really fault the insurgents logic; many nobles are corrupt and cruel. Indeed, it was one miscarriage of justice too many that eventually turned peaceful protesters into rioters. The clumsy, heavy hand of the nobles attempting to suppress the riots with force and fire backfired spectacularly. Riots became revolts, revolts became rebellion, and rebellion became revolution. Saya herself is in the odd position of definitely not being a commoner, but not being "Noble enough" for many of the aristocracy. Her family is one of the youngest noble houses and least wealthy. Despite this, because of the special history between her family patriarch and the crown, her house is granted a royal audience almost whenever they want. Older and wealthier nobles are scornful and jealous in equal measures. Saya wants so badly to live up to her family legacy, but following the inept and/or criminal orders of her superiors embitters her and eventually drives her to commit some desperate and criminal actions of her own when the loyalist faction begin losing the war.
• Relevant Tropes: -Fill Out Later-

edited 1st Feb '18 8:54:59 PM by Parable

I am reminded somewhat of Suzaku Kururugi - a sympathetic view point character into the affairs of a villainous faction. I think there is definitely a place in a good number of factions for the sympathetic Hero Antagonist who shows the villains are not totally composed of orcs and monsters.

• Name: Antonius Lucidius Malvo / Malevolent, the Black Priest

• Age: Dates from the 2nd Century BC, and was quite old even then.

• Personality: In the Umbral Horde, few men have the influence, sway and staying power of one Antonius Lucidius Malvo. This is owed not only to the cunning and experience of the man, but also his privately honed capabilities and determination. While misanthropic due to his age and experiences, his relation to other humans is mostly in the realm of “can’t live with them, can’t live without them”. He maintains a genial and quite affable exterior if given to being rather cranky and grouchy - few believed Antonius was anything other than just the history teacher. However, inside he is by all means one of the more devout of the Dark God Worshipers, and among the most dangerous - he did not rise to Caine’s inner circle by merely flattering the Scion of the Eight’s delusions, after all. The Black Priest is given a certain amount of ego, given he crowns each of the Scions of the Eight Dark Gods and he himself has led one of the oldest Branches of them all...though he has tempered this over time due to his misfortune. Antonius is nothing if not eager to give a new start to his Branch of the Umbral Horde, and wields his considerable talents of manipulation, social expertise, and morale managing for his chosen cause. Due to the kind of people gathered by Caine, Antonius also ends up having to play the adult in the room rather often. Make no mistake, however, he is just as capable of being deadly as the others in the Umbral Horde.

• Abilities:
  • Antonius’ abilities after his transformation into his current state are informed based on his personality - he conjures large numbers of black orbs shaped like skulls that seek out foes, large number of sharp crystals, demon mooks, and toxic mist. He can also call upon a horrifying hungry ghost from his staff that drinks the life and warmth from whatever it touches.
  • His manipulative and social capabilities cannot be overstated - among the Umbral Horde, few have the experience with speeches and interpersonal manipulation Old Antonius does.
  • His staff, the Screaming Blackwood, is made of a severed neck and head of a man-eating tree from the Realm of the Gods with an attached vulture skull. Whenever he casts a spell, the staff screams - which has a disorienting effect.
  • As the head Black Priest, he is the one who taught the likes of Kaellon Nyxus his Demon-Binding - he can incite Demonic Possession and create deadly Unhallowed Arms with demonic intelligences inside.
  • He also shows a degree of telekinesis and telepathy at numerous points.

• Weaknesses: While tougher than he looks, he is still very old and not made for excessive frontline fighting. He is also prone to angry exasperation when things repeatedly go not as planned.

• Goals: “Ensure that Scio—-fine, “Warmaster” Caine is triumphant in Sandfield. And then, as they say, the fun truly begins.” In other words, once Caine gets his dead angel fix, Antonius intends for the Umbral Horde to take over the entire United States by sacking Washington DC and fanning out from there.

• Motivation: He feels his original gods scorned him in his hour of need, and has since devoted himself mind body and soul when the Dark Gods proved more receptive to his devotion.

• Backstory: Hoo boy, this is gonna be a long one;

Known as The Dark-Father, and leader from ancient times of the Umbral Horde Carta - or, alternatively, the Lore Keepers. He started off as an extremely pious Roman Legionnaire in the time of the Roman Republic - he was a devout populist, and ally of the Gracchus Brothers. Antonius was devastated when both brothers were killed by resistance from the Roman Establishment, and believed his prayers were forsaken, his loyalty gone unrewarded.

The Dark Gods proved a reliable replacement for his old faith in the Roman Gods, and he quickly proved himself just as pious to them. Gifted with agelessness, Antonius set to work attempting to bring Rome itself to their worship and create a homeland for the worshipers of the Dark Gods. This yearning had history among Dark God worshipers, and for a long time no such home existed.

Antonius decided his best time to act on this goal was during the rebellion of Lucius Appuleius Saturninus. Allying himself with the populist, Antonius participated in a brutal silencing of their ally Glaucia’s electoral enemy - Antonius personally beat Gaius Memmius to death with his favored hammer-staff.

Antonius developed a plan wherein either the generals of Rome during the rebellion would either let his coup succeed, or slaughter the peasantry and thus their blood would feed a massive spell rune that would superimpose Rome into the realm of the Dark Gods, whereupon Antonius’ allies would feast upon the optimates and generals.

Ultimately however the rebels were slain and Antonius’ spell array was disrupted just in time. Antonius and other head members of the rebellion were captured due to the actions of magic users opposed to his schemes. Antonius however had more tricks up his sleeve…

When the more impetuous members of the Roman Legion and the aristocratic party stoned Saturninus to death with thrown tiles and likewise killed Glaucia, Antonius was forced to use a distinctly unpleasant card so to speak - he used their blood to fuel his magic, and escaped.

The Romans hence gave him the cognomen “Malvo”, essentially naming him as a malignant troublemaker. He however embraced the name for his own reasons, using it in declarations such as “Malvo marches with the Germanic Tribes”. He built up a war force throughout the years, pestering Rome much at the same time as other forces did.

He largely seemed to settle into Britain, attaining allies in the native Celts and other tribes. The Celtic Tribesmen called him An-Ma, the Wise Shaman.

When the formal Umbral Horde was created, Antonius was established enough that he forged and crowned Lord Mordred Pendragon as the first “Grandmaster of the Dark, Reigning Scion of the Eight Dark Gods”. Antonius’ contributions were acknowledged with the creation of the Lore Keepers, his own branch of the Umbral Horde.

They were known as black and gold armored knights, covering their face with plate armor carved with obscene glyphs, with the sigil of an eagle bearing the head of a dragon in addition to its own.

Antonius lingered throughout the ages, traveling the world and trying to find someone willing to tolerate the esoteric beliefs of his cult and give them safe haven. Antonius became more powerful by the middle ages, building up his Umbral Horde Branch. He crafted alliances, forged compacts for assistance, and even partook in the Crusades for his own reasons.

The Islamic Forces had seized an artifact of great importance to the chief Dark God, Khaos, and for that reason Antonius set out to retrieve it. He allied with other beings such as Dhakar the Everliving, an eternal monster that possessed new bodies en masse, and Adzimon, a fellow Dark Priest.

They repeatedly struggled to regain that artifact, only to have it slip from their grip repeatedly.

Eventually, they cast in with the Congress of Mantua, thinking to create a “Light - Dark Concordat” that would obliterate Islam and recover the seized artifacts. Antonius banked on his old alliances holding...and they didn’t. The Princes of Europe ignored Antonius’ requests, few even knowing who he was and thus, did not believe in upholding their great grandfather’s oaths in such a case.

Pope Pius died of despair when the Crusade failed to materialize. And Antonius was left in a very awkward position. Ultimately, however, the artifacts were lost, and while Antonius recovered one of them, it was nowhere near what was expected. The “Dark Trio” parted ways, Antonius left reeling from what was to become the start of a number of regrettable incidents. Antonius eventually moved into Spain and clashed with the newfound rulers post-Reconquista, who found his cult’s practices far too bizarre, and confused them with Satanism. However as a testament to how dangerous Antonius was, the Spaniards could never truly root him out. Antonius quite pointedly stayed out of anything bigger than regional politics, backing local princes covertly.

The only other major incident Antonius involved himself in was The War of the Roses, where he again aligned with the losing horse of King Richard III, along with Dhakar. (And no, Antonius did not murder the young princes - he’s sick of that accusation)

Eventually, tired to death of him, the Spanish Rulers made an agreement that would come to be called the Shadow Compact in the Magic Using Side of the World. Antonius went over to the New World with Spanish forces - ultimately, he would settle into California, which he identified as “harsh and strong enough a territory for our purposes”.

The Indian Tribes were seen by him as potent allies, and when the Spanish ended the Compact due in part to much time passing, Antonius’ forces moved in with the Indians. He treated them by all standards far better than the Spanish did, owing either to a pragmatic desire for followers, or a kinship with those viewed as outsiders.

Antonius saw the Americas as a grand opportunity, but quickly found it carved up between the European powers, none of whom were keen on this strange cult. This forced them into hiding for a time.

Antonius explicitly stayed out of the American Revolution, believing honestly it was doomed to failure...only to be surprised by its success. As America advanced, Antonius seemed to try to build something out of California, making use of contacts in the Mexican Republic and the local ranch lords.

As the Californian Revolution happened, the Dark forces were caught flatfooted, and could only watch as California went over to the States. Antonius tried to do something related to some lingering Indian allies, but they were largely caught up in what became the Wounded Knee Massacre.

This final humiliation in 1890 basically ended Antonius’ ambitions historically speaking. The Magic Side largely wrote him off as a has been - a once great man who now was nothing more than an embarrassing reminder of an age long past.

By the present, Antonius went by Anton Lucid, and worked at the high school the hero Matthew went to as a History Teacher, his Umbral Horde mostly gone except maybe two dozen close associates. Some even doubted he still lived.

When Elijah’s forces attacked, however, Antonius decided to strike back ahead of time and, while Matthew’s resistance effort was still materializing, Antonius gathered some of the dead bodies of Elijah’s men. Deciding to try to chase them off by a gruesome ploy, Antonius fed the ground up bodies of Elijah’s men to their surviving brethren.

Repulsed by this act, the local head Magic User, Aleister Crowley, warped Antonius’ form into that of a creature of some sort. Its strength and nature was contingent on Antonius’ faith - Aleister took him to be a power hungry demagogue whose faith was only incidental. However, instead, Antonius’ faith was still incredibly strong after so many years - and the new form while feeble looking gave him a greater strength than ever.

Meeting with Caine, Antonius saw his Umbral Horde Branch restored and his prominence returned. He undertook his post as Caine’s Chief Chaplain and became one of the Five Generals of the Umbral Horde.

• Relevant Tropes:

• Affably Evil: Antonius doesn’t curse, and merely states what is happening and why - at times in rather disquietingly polite tones.
  • “I am afraid my Lore Keepers butchered them half an hour ago, no sense calling for your guards now. Now, as for you...I believe another sacrifice may well be in order.”
• Blood Magic: A number of Antonius’ spells involve offerings of blood, use of blood, using blood to control someone, or connecting a doll to someone by injecting the doll with that person’s blood.
• Body Horror: His so called Clipped-Wing Angel form is a hideous one, and it is clear why Crowley intended for it to be a weaker form - he is veritably skeletal and made of almost charred looking flesh, swathed in robes and priestly vestments, with a head that resembles a blank mask of sorts wrapped with cloths. It is ambiguous how he’s supposed to be talking considering most of his face looks like a mask.
• Brainwashed: He is very capable of this using magic - he offers to brainwash people as part of an owed favor, and makes assassins by either this or Demonic Possession.
• Carry a Big Stick: Caine being Caine, he gave Antonius something that is basically a crozius - Illustrare. Antonius for his part never uses it - he already has a good weapon, and Illustrare’s abilities, while good, are impractical at the present. Though, he did treasure Illustrare as a gift, and it helps Caine made it himself.
• Church Militant: The Lore Keepers hat. As well as conducting trade, regulating it, and managing morale - they basically go among other factions making sure they don’t lose heart...in their own way.
• The Corrupter: It is he that brought both Nyxus and Corpheus into the fold, and most of his recruitment methods involve a heady dose of appealing to people’s desires and needs.
• David vs. Goliath: Nobody expected the Battle of Erdengard, later on called the Humiliation at Erdengard, to go so well for the Umbral Horde. They were outnumbered, almost 2 or 3 to 1 (technically), and were holed up in a city barely halfway made. Even Antonius is left rather astonished it went so well. "We...we just defeated the United States in open conflict. That was...frankly astonishing." It does help they had magic and the favors of the Dark Gods, while the army coming at them was completely mundane and not exactly familiar with what they were fighting.
• Dissonant Serenity: After so many years, he is utterly nonchalant about what he does, why he does it, and what tends to ensue.
  • “I’ll make sure they send water up there at a minimum. I wouldn’t want this to end too soon.” (said to someone he’s bound to a ceiling, unable to move.)
• Even Evil Has Standards: though he still serves him, Malevolent finds Caine to be insane - fascinatingly so, but also at times worringly so. “He is violent, casually so. He kills and then dismisses his victim as a secondary character. He spoke of my agent John coming out as transgender as “being a character that exists to push politics and try to make me sympathize with it”. This is what I work with. This is what needs to WIN for my plans to succeed.”
• Evil Genius: he and Reiji fill the role - both have basically been trying to make sure Caine does not do anything too crazy.
• Expy: Played in universe - Caine straight up tells Antonius “who he thinks he is”, and Antonius’ response is a Flat "What", utter befuddlement, and then realizing what this is. “By the Gods, he’s insane. He’s powerful beyond measure and he thinks we’re all fictional characters.”
• Gone Horribly Right: Crowley had intended for Antonius’ belief to determine how powerful his new form was, and had thought he was merely a self serving man...except due to Antonius’ honest belief, the form was accidentally a power up.
• Gosh Dang It to Heck!: He mostly merely says “Oh...dear…” when things go badly or chaos ensues among Umbral Horde personalities.
• Hyper-Competent Sidekick: This plus Evil Genius and The Man Behind the Man as listed below is his role in the modern Umbral Horde. Caine needs a minder like this, and Antonius was willing to play the role. He is occasionally impressed when Caine doesn’t do something crazy, and is also sometimes disturbed when Caine shows a crueler edge than what he’d thought such a person was capable of.
• I Ate WHAT?!: Hey Gibbs Forces, don’t ask what was in Antonius’ Special. The fact some of them stayed with the Dark God Forces after Caine took over and were ministered to by him almost makes the whole thing more unsettling.
• Laser-Guided Karma: He functions as this - a bunch of super-rich guys basically trash a temple, beat up Dhakar when he tried to stop them, and almost kill Corpheus with their car. Antonius, in response, had them “decisively dealt with”. The fact one of them was the son of a wealthy American mogul was not a consideration - Antonius killed them more or less because they came into his city, terrified people, damaged valuable property, almost killed a dear friend, and horrified the denizens of the Cathedral City. “These boys would be deemed too rich to punish outside here. Too valuable, belonging to too important families. In the Umbral Horde, however, they were common criminals dealt with as any other would be who committed their crimes.”
  • Unwitting Instigator of Doom: This however proved a factor that led to the Battle of Erdengard - Antonius underestimated exactly how much influence the wealthy donors had, and how enraged one of them was his son was killed “by some commoner narco-priest from a lowly cult”.
• The Man Behind the Man: Caine is, as covered in a post in another topic, a lunatic - most of his war plans are Horus Heresy references, he occasionally talks to nothing, and his orders need deciphering on numerous occasions. Who does the deciphering? Antonius here.
• Names to Run Away from Really Fast: If you heard a guy was named Malevolent, you probably would leave in short order.
• Necromancer: By using a specific type of demon for Demonic Possession, he can revive the dead...though, by and large, as pale shells of their former selves with the demon often taking over. The revived resemble rotting corpses more than a proper human being.
• Nostalgia Filter: Antonius holds himself as being from an age before all the “Puritan Nonsense” happened; “Feel free to enjoy yourselves. I don’t count myself a zealot of purity - in the name of Zayufur, copulate to your hearts’ content!”
• Only Sane Man: Subverted - by words and some actions publicly he would look like this, but one must remember this is a man who chopped up people's dead bodies to serve to their allies, and who routinely performs human sacrifices.
• Pet the Dog: He allows homeless people to stay in his temples and even get work as assistants. No human sacrifice, no tricks, he simply thought this would be appropriate.
  • Despite the both of them being villains, Antonius ultimately decided to keep one tribute to Caine and his ways - naming the central Cathedral as he did. “Insane he was, but I serve every Scion, and do my best to make tribute to them when they are gone.”
  • When the Battle of Erdengard is due to happen, he makes sure to assuage the fears of Erdengard’s population and swears to the Dark Gods he will not allow anyone hiding inside the city to be harmed.
• Politically Incorrect Villain: Played with - Antonius believes he comes from a better time, but despite his own ideas and protestations he is not quite the progressive. Apart from a misanthropic perception, he is quick to prioritize his own views, and his brainwashing can take on some ugly tones pending on the circumstance. When he teams up with minor villain Lila, he offers to brainwash the guy she was The Beard to when he sees her dejected about her role in that guy’s life...to make sure Lila would be in good condition as a member of their villain team up. The guy’s preferences simply never enter the equation, as he is an obstacle to be “dealt with”.
• The Purge: He plans one out aimed at those in Elijah’s forces who are primarily loyal to either their former regimes or the United States and who were unwilling to convert to Dark God Worship. The reason he planned it out was because Caine came up with the idea, insisted on it, and so Antonius wanted it done “with as few flaws as possible”. Still goes wrong.
• Red Baron: The Dark Father - a reference to priests being referred to as Father.
  • Caine tries to title him “The First Heretic”, but it is a title Antonius disliked out of a view there were other “heretics” before him (thus even taking away the obvious reference it’d make Antonius seem too egoistic for even his tastes) and thus it never really caught on.
• Rousing Speech: Delivered to the citizens of Erdengard; “Know this, people of Erdengard - I know that my forces and I are strange, that we appeared and now we are to govern. But not one of you will be allowed to die - not from the cartels my forces vanquished, nor from the forces headed here right now. I swear unto the very gods themselves you, citizens of the Cathedral City, will be safe. Our enemies WILL be repelled, and we can continue to move to prosperity!”
• Sigil Spam: At Erdengard, Antonius’ sensibilities with celebration tend to include a lot of this - anyone visiting during a Holiday will notice a huge number of icons and symbols being paraded around.
• Sinister Minister: He is a dark priest, lending his services in morale and cult creation via his social expertise and knowledge of manipulation. The Dark God Cult in New Dawn IV is run by two of his underlings, and the other major cult(s) are unknowingly being played by him.
• This Cannot Be!: Expresses this when Caine is slain by Matthew. “...no. This cannot be - Caine had that spell, which would ensure that golden haired brat died. H-How?”
• Token Adult: Antonius’ role is also to occasionally serve as adult in the room, breaking up squabbles and keeping people from fighting.
• Vice City: The home city of the Lore Keepers, Erdengard the Cathedral City...of a sort. Antonius created it in Baja California, on land granted to him by Mexico in exchange for chasing the cartels out. Erdengard due to Antonius’ policies is viewed as such up north, while the city itself is portrayed as surprisingly peaceful and welcoming...just with so many, many cathedrals, hence its title. Antonius is remarkably nondiscriminatory in governance - even participating in a Day of the Dead celebration.
  • Appropriately considering the fact drugs are traded for money so long as the drugs are pure and not defective or gratuitously harmful, Erdengard is remarked to be “a surprisingly popular tourist destination for vacationing college kids.” Antonius for his part embraces this fact, creating lodging for said college students and making good efforts to keep them safe, by and large.

Unless all of that backstory is going to be explored or brought up in story, we don't really need to know every war he has been in. On the other hand, having such a long and detailed backstory and abilities means you'd probably thought long and hard about this. I'd say this, while he probably wouldn't be particularly memorable, he is a majorly effective villain with several personality traits that are balanced well. Having a long series of failures and somewhat victories helps in the idea of him being an ancient figure similar to that of Vandal Savage, Wolverine or general Immortus from Doom Patrol, a character that has a lot of potential due to their presence in several important historical events and the possible interactions they've with historical figures.I would say he wouldn't work as a main villain, but it seems he isn't, so that's fine.

I would post my own villain shortly.

edited 2nd Feb '18 2:06:28 AM by Ikedatakeshi