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Harmless Villain

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"And when she arrives, I shall squirt her... with CITRIC ACID!"
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Villains are vile, ruthless, merciless, and bloodthirsty; any pretension of civility is just a smokescreen to hide a really twisted Big Bad. Not exactly kid-friendly, is it? So what are kids shows and movies supposed to do, if the original source's baddy eats babies? Why, make them a Harmless Villain, of course!

Their goals can be as grandiose as any other villain's, but the way they go about their plans makes one wonder what they would do if they ever win. Instead of putting the heroes through a Death Course, it will merely be an obstacle course strewn with riddles. Rather than threatening to use Anthrax in the heart of London, they will use sleeping gas to get away with a heist. If they capture the hero, expect only the most benign of Death Traps (usually with a tub of Mr. Pibb instead of a Shark Pool); and instead of outright torture, they will use feathers to tickle the hero into submission. Or, they may say they are trying to do something truly evil, but they will fail, every time. And if that level of detail is too demanding for your kid detective story? Just make them smugglers. Smuggling what? Nobody knows. It is never specified. But smuggling is bad, that is why they are the villains and that is all you need to know.

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Specific evil plots will usually include amazing MacGuffin devices that mildly inconvenience people and get the hero involved; often, these plots are of such a scale and intricacy that if someone Cut Lex Luthor a Check, they'd be so rich, they wouldn't need that giant Gold-only Orbital Magnet to steal the world's supply of gold.

But, then again, where's the fun in that?

The only people "seriously endangered" by them are the Innocent Bystanders and Damsel in Distress that they occasionally capture, and they end up no worse for wear than if they'd spent the afternoon in a Time Share seminar, which is usually far less entertaining at that, and the villain will probably even provide far better snacks, along with room and board!

The Harmless Villain might possess an impressive array of powers, but they'll end up using it with all the effectiveness of Misapplied Phlebotinum, or have glaring and easily exploited weaknesses that bring them to their knees just in the nick of time.

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Basically, they aren't saddled with a bag of Villain Balls so much as they're expert jugglers, using them to entertain rather than as signs of stupidity (it is a kid's show, after all). It's more or less as if they are enforcing on themselves the Designated Villain role. A few of them are even aware of this, and are pretty easy-going about it. These amiable villains will more often than not show that Even Evil Has Standards when that Very Special Episode rolls around. Out of all the villains, they're the likeliest to enjoy a good time with Villains Out Shopping, or even be Friendly Enemies with the hero!

A true Harmless Villain will never Kick the Dog, much less cross the depravity line. However, they will Poke the Poodle...a LOT.

Their minions are as often as not Faceless Goons and comically good Mauve Shirts, both of which tend to do kooky and funny things when their boss isn't looking. These supposed villains often have a degree of Karmic Protection because of the small scale of their "evil", especially when there are more serious villains around.

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    open/close all folders 

    Fan Works 

    Films — Animation 
  • Meet the Robinsons has Bowler Hat Guy, who isn't capable of actually committing much harm. The robotic bowler hat, Doris, is manipulating him for her own Evil Plan. And it turns out that he has a Freudian Excuse for his hatred of Lewis, the protagonist—he was Lewis' roommate back at the orphanage, and once lost a baseball game which was very important to him because Lewis' invention building kept him up all night.
  • Toy Story 2 has greedy toy collector Al McWhiggen who actually poses no real threat to the toys (especially Woody, whose care is in his best interest, if just for the money he would nab by selling him).
  • Both Gru and Vector in Despicable Me don't really do anything overly dastardly, at least in the animated film's universe (in Real Life, the consequences of stealing the Moon would be much more horriffic). Yes, Gru freezes a few people, but the freezing is implied to be harmless. And Vector is content with stealing monuments and just sitting back playing his Wii. In fact, had Vector not stolen the Pyramid at the beginning, that boy would have died.
  • The title character in Megamind appears to be this. Despite having 87 life sentences, it is implied that he never really causes physical harm to anyone, seeing as he chooses unoccupied areas for his base of operations (such as an abandoned observatory) and repeatedly abducts reporter Roxanne Ritchi but leaves her unharmed. Even after he 'wins' and takes over the city, he merely causes property damage. He even tells the citizens to proceed as usual.

    Films — Live-Action 
  • Slimer from Ghostbusters. He's little more than a nuisance who wants to have a good time, which for him means munching as much of the hotel's buffet as he can, but his antics interfere with the human world.
  • "Cactus" Jack Slade from the western parody, The Villain.
  • In Zombie Blood Bath, the zombies seem to be relatively harmless so long as you don't just stand there and let them kill you. In one scene, they had to get pass an army of zombies on a staircase, and they did this by...just gently shoving them aside. The zombies groaned and flailed their arms, but didn't seem to pay much attention to them.
  • Connor from The New Guy. Most of his scenes have him constantly giving insults that don't make sense. When his friends point this out, he always tells them to "shut up". Doesn't help that in one scene, he is knocked unconsious by Dizzy, who looks phsyically weaker then him.
  • Despite being the Big Bad of Spaceballs, President Skroob is incompetent and not dangerous in the least. Even Dark Helmet mocks him behind his back.
  • The two main Shark Gang characters in Our Friend Power 5 do little more than bumble around on Earth and fail to kill the Turtles. Even when the Turtles and Yesular are defenseless and asleep, they just steal Yesular's wand and leave, allowing the heroes to strike back and defeat them.

    Literature 
  • In the Discworld novel The Last Hero, Evil Harry Dread has such a strong sense of professional ethics that he always chooses his guards for stupidity and designs his dungeons for easy escape. Of course, following the same professional ethics, he betrays Cohen and the Silver Horde at the first opportunity, but they're not too fussed about it. It's just what he does.
  • In The Dresden Files short story Day Off, Harry is confronted by "Darth Wannabee" and his gang of amateur dark wizards. He's angry because Harry removed a curse he'd laid on a woman who'd annoyed him. Normally, this would be black magic, an incredibly serious matter and something the White Council punishes with death; their treatment of warlocks is one of the things Harry agrees with the council on, even if he thinks that they are doing ridiculously little to stop people from becoming them. But the "curse" was so weak Harry thought it had been a result of bad feng shui. They run away after, on telling Harry to defend himself, he pulls out his gun. Later, they chucked a smoke bomb through his window, which at least shows they had the sense not to confront him again.
  • The Rainbow Magic series has the goblins, who are clumsy, dumb, and very easily tricked. Jack Frost himself also qualifies most of the time.

    Music 
  • The "Weird Al" Yankovic song Young, Dumb and Ugly is about a group of low-end delinquents boasting about their trivial acts of hooliganism (Not returning shopping carts, not returning library books on time, toilet papering someone's lawn, etc).

    Professional Wrestling 

    Radio 
  • The devil in Sataan: Die Serie. He tries to start the apocalypse, but the humans just won't let him.
  • Count Jim Moriarty of The Goon Show is a subversion. He gradually devolved into a more and more pathetic villain, but what kept him from becoming a harmless one was a) that he was usually partnered with the slightly more competent Hercules Grytpype-Thynne and, most importantly b) he acted as antagonist to the likes of Ned Seagoon, Eccles and Bluebottle.

    Tabletop Games 
  • Scion has a nonhumorous example in Ouranos, one of the avatars of the Titan of Wind. As described in Greek myth, he was castrated by his son Cronos... and in the process lost absolutely all of his ambition and passion. These days he sits around in his palace of clouds, drinking and sleeping, because he just doesn't care. This makes him a perfect hostage for determined Scions, because he won't even lift a finger in his own defense - if you can get past the guards the other avatars have put around him, he won't stop you from carrying him away.
  • Golden Age Champions (the 4th edition version) had The Doberman, a goofy dog-themed villain. He was originally an incompetent tomb robber, trapped in an Egyptian tomb, who just happened to fire off a prayer to Anubis before suffocating. Anubis decided to set him up as one of these to give heroes someone to practice their skills on. (Don't feel too sorry for The Doberman, though — he gets to live forever thanks to Anubis sending him back every time one of his plans ends in No One Could Survive That!.)

    Theatre 
  • Gilbert and Sullivan enjoyed this:
    • The The Pirates of Penzance won't attack forces weaker than they are, and make a point of never harming orphans.
    • Ko-Ko, the Lord High Executioner in The Mikado, has never killed anyone, although he's thinking of starting on small animals soon in order to acclimate himself to the unpleasant nature of his duties.
    • When the Ruddigore protagonist is suddenly hit with a curse obliging him to commit one serious crime every day or die in agony, the best he can do in the first week is to shoot a fox. When he is tasked to commit the genuinely evil act of carrying off a maiden, the aging maiden fends him off with little trouble.

    Web Animation 
  • Burnt Face Man series has got Taps Man, who erodes metal over a period of time, Have A Nice Day Man, who wishes everyone a great day, and Detergent Man, who washes clothes deliberately on the wrong settings. There are many others.
  • Bruce (the Thumper) from Pimp Lando is mostly this, though he does become legitimately threatening at the end of the sixth episode, "Pimp 2K."
  • Victor Vivisector from CollegeHumor's "Furry Force" videos. He's a near-demonic looking supervillain with a skull-like face, laser guns, and an army of robots equipped with chainsaws. What is his evil, diabolical plan? To cut down all of America's national forests and replace them with parking lots. He's foiled twice by a bunch of kids from the Furry Force, and is so grossed out that he gives up the first time, and bashes himself to death the second.
    • Come the third episode, he creates the counterparts to the Furry Force, The Scaly Squad. Problem is, the squad also grossed him out, hoping the two would mutually destroy each other. One visit from the Terminator-esque future version of Leo later (complete with seeing his future), he burns down his lair, with himself inside. His final words? "I welcome death."
  • DSBT InsaniT: The only thing Boo can do is turn people invisible. As Dave points out, that is hardly a threat.
  • The Most Epic Story Ever Told in All of Human History: Ridiculously Epic Fail combines Ridiculously Epic's intent with Epic Fail's competence, making him a character who completely fails at his attempts to do evil.
  • The evil AI Omega from Red vs. Blue can qualify for this, depending on who he's possessing at the time. In the body of Tex or any other sufficiently trained soldier, he's a genuinely terrifying threat. In the bodies of the Blood Gulch crew, and most especially Doc, he's little more than a nuisance.

    Web Original 
  • The Goths at Superhero School Whateley Academy in the Whateley Universe. Despite serious attempts at summoning monsters and other evil acts, what they mainly manage to do is get their leader dumped into a Fate Worse than Death and re-uniting Carmilla with her father (who is a monster). They also attack Phase... and get a Curb-Stomp Battle because they have no idea what they're facing.
  • SCP Foundation:
    • Among the various horrors the Foundation houses is SCP-1370, an artificial lifeform hostile to everything else. Luckily for everything else, 1370 is poorly designed to the point of losing a fight with a potted plant. Not even a paranormal potted plant, just a regular philodendron.
    • SCP-2006 is a potentially omnipotent shapeshifter, whose goal is to scare people for fun. Fortunately, the Foundation has it convinced that the most terrifying thing in the world are men in rubber suits from old '50s horror films (its favorite form is Ro-Man of Robot Monster fame). Because of that, it's almost completely harmless, and its scaring strategies consist of jumping out and saying "Boo!" Of course, if it were to ever realize how ineffective this is, it could quickly ascend to a Not-So-Harmless Villain.
  • The palace eunuchs in Farce of the Three Kingdoms. They do manage to off He Jin, but only because he was Too Dumb to Live.

    Web Videos 
  • Lee Phillips of KateModern attempts to take revenge on Gavin and Tariq by...forcing them to play a treasure hunt game to retrieve their stolen software. He still manages to be a serious threat because there are other, decidedly less harmless villains who are also after the software.
  • The leader of the Gangster Squad in The Swag Life Of Justin Yargenschmargol doesn't have much of an agenda other than just making sure he's the swagiest dude around.
  • Dr. Poque from Mega64 is arguably this, while he did kidnap and lock Rocko, Derek, and Sean in his basement, he's to much of a Butt-Monkey to be a real threat. Episode six of Version 2 amps this up to Woobie status.
  • Dr. Horrible is pretty much harmless for the first two acts of Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. Then, Smug Super Captain Hammer steals his would-be girlfriend and taunts him mercilessly about it. This drives Dr. Horrible to get dangerous, with tragic results.
  • Although having a villainous outer appearance, Doctor Steel's goals are really very positive and even kid-friendly. He just wants to make the world a better place (for himself).
  • Atop the Fourth Wall:
    • Dr. Linksano starts out as this, especially since he was first used for a Breather Arc between the Mechakara and Lord Vyce storylines. He does show more competence later though, but mainly after his Heel–Face Turn to became a double agent for Linkara.
    • In a parody of the badly written villains of the comic, his Fourth Year Anniversary had Phelous (wearing a suit and mask) randomly come out of nowhere as his "mysterious" new enemy "Mysterior", who kept rambling about how he was mysterious and how Linkara had to solve the "Mystery". Both he, and a later replacement (exactly the same only with a different coloured mask and a slightly different name) were immediately shrugged off by Linkara.

 
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Donbalon

Aside from the tricky environment, Donbalon has no attacks and the worst he can do is inconvenience NiGHTS by bumping into them. If anything, his boss arena is more threatening and that's used against him.

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