Daenerys Targaryen: Viserys says he could sweep the Seven Kingdoms with ten thousand Dothraki screamers.
Ser Jorah Mormont: Viserys couldn't sweep a stable with ten thousand brooms.
Ser Jorah Mormont: Viserys couldn't sweep a stable with ten thousand brooms.
- A few have turned up in the 1632 series:
- Monsignor Giulio Mazarini, as portrayed in "Between the Armies" from the first Ring of Fire anthology. Unsurprisingly, as he is a diplomat by trade.
- By the time of 1636: The Saxon Uprising, Gretchen Richter has developed a wit so dry that, well...Friedrich Nagel: I ... think that was a joke.
Eric Krenz: With Gretchen, who knows? But we'll take that as our working hypothesis.
- Kniaz* Vladimir Gorchakov of Muscovy (Russia) from 1636: The Kremlin Games.Vladimir: I see a problem. No one is going to be all that surprised that you happened to be visiting your cousin while I came seeing about a loan ... once. But if we keep meeting like this, what will it do to my reputation as a titled nonentity? People might stop talking to me. That would be a disaster for me and inconvenient for you.
- The yankee in Mark Twain's A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court gets off digs at everyone, but especially the nobility. It usually goes right over their heads.
- Ex-schoolmaster and formerly-ex-British agent Reck in Manning Cole's A Toast to Tomorrow. After returning from a ten-day stay at a concentration camp intended to make him more willing to act as fellow former-ex-agent Tommy Hambledon's radio operator, he commented, in part:"There was an inaccurate notice to the effect that purity of the soul is won through labour. It was displayed where we could see it while shovelling. I find I am not, by nature, a shoveller, and the notice is a lie."
- In The Alien Series almost everyone around Kitty is one, especially Christopher.Christopher: You're not my type.Kitty: I'm sorry.Christopher: Don't be. I like 'em stupid.
- Marco from Animorphs.
- Tobias, too. Occasionally even Ax, although it's not always clear whether it's intentional at first, examples in later books have to be intentional.
- Second to last book, after the Yeerks have realized that they're mostly fighting human kids, and not alien warriors.Random Mook: "Andalite!"
Ax: < Surprise. >
- Rachel is pretty sarcastic when the situation calls for it.
- Morton from Don't tell Mummy in the Graveyard School series: an enigmatic girl with a strange accent and a sarcastic sense of humor who constantly annoys Park with her snarks (he calls it "fifth grade humor"). When she turns out to be a living mummy, he realizes that it's "not fifth grade humor", but "bazillion-year-old mummy humor".
- Marilla Cuthbert of Anne of Green Gables is an example.
- So are Mr. Harrison from Anne of Avonlea and Cornelia Bryant from Anne's House of Dreams.
- The title character of Artemis Fowl. For example, after he uses his phone to hack a pretty much un-hackable computer:Foaly: Just what else can that phone of yours do?
Artemis: It can play Solitaire and Minesweeper.
Holly: Are you suggesting I occasionally ignore the rule book?
- Many other characters also fall into this, for example Foaly, Holly, and Mulch (and occasionally Juliet) enjoy trading sarcastic statements. A piece of dialogue that best sums up their characters:
Foaly: I am suggesting you do not own a copy of the rule book, and if you do, you certainly have never opened it.
- Mulch lampshades it in the narration of the fifth book:Their little band of adventurers needed another smart-ass like they needed ten years of bad luck.
- Sun Tzu from The Art of War: "To lift an autumn hair is no sign of great strength; to see sun and moon is no sign of sharp sight; to hear the noise of thunder is no sign of a quick ear."
- Sage from the Ascendance Trilogy.Roden: What are you doing here? When I asked for more soldiers, I didn't intend for you to come.
Sage: Yes, but I was bored.
- From George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire. The number of snarkers is almost as over the top as the number of overall characters.
- The series also deconstructs the snarker character very often by having their mouth get them into trouble. Like Jaime, who insists on being a gigantic smartass to the man keeping him prisoner and loses his sword-hand for his trouble.
- When not being kind of a jerk, Sydney Carton from A Tale of Two Cities is like this.
- Occasionally the title character of The Bartimaeus Trilogy, but he's more of an Uncontrollably Sneering Snarker, but we love him for it.
- In David Eddings's Belgariad and Malloreon, it'd almost be easier to list every major character who isn't either a Card-Carrying Villain or a Deadpan Snarker. Even the Voice of the Prophecy (the speaking aspect of the cosmic force attempting to restore the universe to its original destiny) snarks it up almost every time it communicates with one of the characters.
- Lheorvine Ukris of Black Legion has little of Telemachion's poetry or Khayon's nostalgia, so he makes up for their sulkiness with his snarky attitude. The fact that he has the Nails hammered into his brain, straining his patience, adds to this.
- Rayne McDonald, one of the heroes of Marianne Mancusi's Blood Coven series often dips into this:Spider: (re: using a flamethrower-like weapon in a pressurized airplane cabin) You thought I'd use it on fire mode? Oh ye of little faith. note
Rayne: Oh ye of little track record.
- Big Nate. The most sarcastic character of all time.
- Border KS includes a main cast who all get in on the snark at different points.
- In the same World of Snark as Ranger's Apprentice, this was inevitable of Brotherband. Almost every single character gets in at least one or two moments of snark, unless they're either Kloof or quite minor.
- Brothers of the Snake have Venerable Dreadnaught Autolochus, who makes up for being trapped in a metal box forever with dry sense of humour.
- Buddenbrooks: Hanno and Kai, who "nickname" their teachers not "the spider" or "the cockatoo" as their classmates do, but rather "Herr X". Also, Hanno's geography teacher, who's a big fan of satirist Heinrich Heine, tries to be this.
- In the Chalet School series, Miss Wilson has a reputation for being very sarcastic with students who get on her bad side. And that includes Joey.
- Charlie and the Chocolate Factory has Willy Wonka, who is prone to brushing off the Golden Ticket tour group's constant questions about his crazy world with whimsical and sometimes stealthily insulting asides. When explaining the effects of Hair Toffee to the group, Spoiled Brat Veruca Salt asks "Who wants a beard, for heaven's sake?" "It would suit you very well," Mr. Wonka notes before moving on. Adaptations take this particular character trait and run with it.
- Eustace from The Chronicles of Narnia, with his "habit of being dreadfully matter-of-fact." Edmund too, who after the first book switches from caustic Jerkass to lovable Deadpan Snarker. Reepicheep fits both in the books:Caspian: There are some things no man can face.
Reepicheep: It is then my good fortune not to be a man.
Caspian: Y-you are a mouse.
- In the films (played by Eddie Izzard):
Reepicheep: I was hoping for something a little more original.
- Queen Jadis a.k.a. the White Witch, practically lives for this role (and to turn people to stone)."But what are ''you?" said the Queen again. "Are you a great overgrown dwarf who has cut off its beard?""No, your Majesty," said Edmund, "I never had a beard, I'm a boy.""A boy!" said she. "Do you mean you are a Son of Adam?"Edmund stood still, saying nothing. He was too confused by by this time to understand what the question meant."I see you are an idiot, whatever else you may be," said the Queen.
- Lucy gets in arguably one of the best comeuppances from girl to boy ever:"That's the worst of girls," said Edmund to Peter and the Dwarf. "They never carry a map in their heads.""That's because our heads have something inside them," said Lucy.
- Christopher in The Lives of Christopher Chant, sometimes more than is good for him.
- Ciaphas Cain, HERO OF THE IMPERIUM, does this constantly, and often regardless of whether the target is currently attempting to kill him. About the only ones that don't receive this are beings that don't speak, such as Necrons and Tyranids (not that he doesn't try on occasion), and Inquisitors, who are in practice of a far higher rank and rarely tolerate anything resembling amusement (with the exception of Vail, who seems to grow rather fond of verbal matches with him). Vail herself also seems to possess an inclination for this trope, if her footnotes are any indication.
- "Clockpunk and the Vitalizer" has The Vitalizer, which doesn't seem to deter Dolores's (Clockpunk's) crush on him.
- Flora Poste in Cold Comfort Farm is a borderline snarker, although her good breeding mostly keeps it in check.
- Micheal "Mickey" Flynn from Harry Turtledove's Colonization series seems to get at least one line a section, and often rather more common (half his lines to Johnson on occasion seem to be deadpan snarks), at least in the proximity of Glen Johnson. Runners up are Glen Johnson himself, and Charles Healey. All the Americans get at least one line in, as well as a few of the Lizards (especially Atvar).
- Gerin the Fox in Tales of the Fox.
- Every main character in The Cornersville Trace Mythos.
- Elizabeth Bathory in Count and Countess.
- Daisy Miller:Winterbourne: If you won't flirt with me, do cease, at least, to flirt with your friend at the piano; they don't understand that sort of thing here. Not in young unmarried women.
Daisy: It seems to me much more proper in young unmarried women than in old married ones.
- Navis from The Dalemark Quartet.
- Darkness Visible takes place in a Victorian World of Snark, so it's hardly surprising that many characters qualify. Lewis snarks the most, being the narrator, but Marsh, Spangler, George and Wilson get in on the fun:Lewis: ‘Would it help if I wrote you a list?’ I asked sarcastically. ‘The “Ten Commandments of Venturing”, perhaps.Marsh (on being told Wilson could stop him getting a job in London): ‘There are many other cities in the Empire,’ Marsh replied. ‘And I have never much cared for English weather.’Spangler: ‘Well, well, old boy, you’re alive after all,’ he said, by way of a greeting.Lewis: ‘I know, it’s a terrible disappointment for all concerned.’Wilson: ‘Teaching this lad here?’ Wilson said, turning a critical eye on Marsh, who was as extravagantly attired as ever. His gaze lingered on Marsh’s bandaged right hand. ‘I can see that has been going very well.’
- Every other character in the Deathstalker series runs up the snark, and the rest of them are the practice targets.
- Florian of The Dinosaur Lords is the token Snarker of the companions, saying out-loud all the others wouldn't. His main targets are people who are stupid, intolerant and easy to rile up, and he has good time snidely mocking them.
- Alan Dean Foster's spinoff Dinotopia novels feature a wisecracking Protoceratops named Chaz. Bix from the main books also shows hints of this.
- In Terry Pratchett's Discworld:
"I, of course, used a time machine to 'get the idea' of Unseen University from Hogwarts; I don't know what Paul [Kidby, the illustrator] used in this case. Obviously he must have used something."
- Samuel Vimes and Esmerelda Weatherwax. They are both aware of the Theory of Narrative Causality, though with Vimes it's more of an instinctive understanding.
- Lord Vetinari's snark is rumored to be so caustic that Sgt. Colon lives in fear of the patrician getting sardonic on him. (Although when it did happen, he never even noticed. Subtle and clever verbal abuse is wasted on some people.)
- The Lemony Narrator Terry Pratchett himself.
- Rincewind also has his moments; having long given up trying to use his savviness to stay out of dangerous situations, he occasionally uses it to be sarcastic about them.
- Every line uttered by Salzalla in Maskerade drips with sarcasm, at least before he is revealed as the villain, and rapidly loses the plot. For instance, suggesting to Mr. Bucket that if the ballerinas did more leaps, it might save on wear and tear on ballet shoes:"Well, their feet wouldn't be on the ground for so long, would they?" said Salzella, in the tones of one who knows for a fact that he's much more intelligent than anyone else in the room.
- Pratchett himself can be quite the snarker, such as his response to someone claiming that he had ripped off Harry Potter (which came out after the novel in question):
- Professor Bernice Surprise Summerfield in the Doctor Who Expanded Universe. In No Future, for instance, she dismisses the Vardans based on their only TV appearance.Benny: The Vardans? I think you'll find that your enemies tremble with mirth and cry out things like "Oh good, it's only the Vardans, thank goodness it wasn't somebody serious like the Daleks". You are, after all, the only race in history to be outwitted by the intellectual might of the Sontarans.'
- Helps that she's based on Emma Thompson.
- Don Quixote: Deconstructed by Sancho Panza: What happens in Real Life to those who cannot say anything without being sarcastic? Why, Sancho is beaten by Don Quixote and a lot of other people. The problem is that a lot of people enjoys Sancho’s sarcasm (he is good at it) and so he feels compelled to say it, even when he is in perilous situations, like when he denied payment to a Innkeeper (Chapter XVII part I), and he mocked the entire people of the Braying Town or the highwaymen of Barcelona (Chapters XXVII and LX of the part II) The first give him a beating, the highwaymen almost kill him:Upon this Sancho remarked, "From what I have seen here, justice is such a good thing that there is no doing without it, even among the thieves themselves."One of the squires heard this, and raising the butt-end of his harquebuss would no doubt have broken Sancho's head with it had not Roque Guinart called out to him to hold his hand. Sancho was frightened out of his wits, and vowed not to open his lips so long as he was in the company of these people.
One of the squires observed in his mixture of Gascon and Catalan, "This captain of ours would make a better friar than highwayman; if he wants to be so generous another time, let it be with his own property and not ours."The unlucky wight did not speak so low but that Roque overheard him, and drawing his sword almost split his head in two, saying, "That is the way I punish impudent saucy fellows." They were all taken aback, and not one of them dared to utter a word, such deference did they pay him.
- Andres (the flooged boy) snarking about Don Quixote's rescue is the first clue the reader has that he was an Asshole Victim all the time. And the only murder that is explicitly shown in this novel is the bandit who dared to snark to his leader.
- Everyone in the Doom novels. If sarcasm and smart-ass could kill monsters the invasion never would have progressed past Phobos.
- One of the more intelligible anecdotes in English As She is Spoke: A Jest in Sober Earnest has an example:A duchess accused of magic being interrogated for a commissary extremely unhandsome, this was beg him selve one she had look the devil. "Yes, sir, I did see him, was answer the duchess, and he was like you as two water's drops."
- Both of The Hardy Boys can be this (even when at the villain's mercy); however, while Frank definitely does have many good lines of snark, Joe is the one who is especially known for this. Just about every sentence out of his mouth when talking to the bad guys will be some of this. Both brothers are acknowledged for this in-universe, with their allies and enemies alike lampshading it.
- Steven Brust's Dragaera series:
- Vlad, Kragar, and Loiosh from the Taltos novels.
- Pel in the Khaavren Romances.
- Vern, the dragon protagonist and narrator of Karina Fabian's "Dragon Eye, P.I." books, seems to be made of fire and snark.
- Most characters in Jim Butcher's The Dresden Files do this at least occasionally. Michael and Mab are probably the only two recurring characters who do not regularly indulge (even Nicodemus has his moments). Harry himself is such a memetic snarker that when he accidentally mouths off to Odin's secretaries, he claims that to not insult them to would be to impugn their reputation of incomprehensible badassery, because it's well know that Harry makes fun of all of them.Person: "Who the hell are you?"Harry "I the hell am Harry."Person: "Are you always a wise-ass?"Harry "No. Sometimes I'm asleep."
"I'll tear off your ass. Literally, your actual ass."
- Bob and Thomas both seem to rather enjoy the snark.
- The first time we hear Mouse talk, it turns out he sounds exactly like Harry.
- Butcher seems to love snark in general; though there's much less of it than in The Dresden Files, there's still quite a bit of it flying around in the Codex Alera series. Most characters get their moment to shine, but the most persistent example is Doroga.
- Elsabeth Soesten and Brother Hieronymus of No Good Deed... are both quick with a smart remark with one another. However while Hieronymus is generally more diplomatic with others, Elsabeth snarks at pretty much everyone. Even church officials, much to Hieronymus's horror.
- Danjel in Vilhelm Moberg's The Emigrants suite manages to be a deadpan snarker and the meekest man around at the same time.The Vicar: No one is allowed to give communion unless they are ordained.Danjel: As far as I know, nowhere in the Bible does it say that Our Lord Jesus was ordained.
- Felix Castor - Felix lives this trope.
- The protagonist of Fifth Business is one.
- Trish in Finding Gaia fits this description well - she even has a real-world blog named "ecosnark."
- Several characters in The First Law, but especially Glokta. Then again, he has some good reasons for it.
- Diana, in the Gone series."Oh, look: Drake's trying to think."
- Howard also has this trope down.
- In Death series: Eve Dallas is so very much this.
Dallas: Was that sarcasm?Peabody (considers): No, it was too direct for sarcasm.
- As is her aide/partner Peabody
- Actually, just about every named regular character, sooner or later.
- How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse has a main cast full of them, presumably because there is a reason to be snarky most of the time as everything going on is so utterly ridiculous. Only Sane Man Butch takes the trophy, with the pseudo-tsundere protagonist as a runner up.April: If you join us, we'll promote you for USA president!
- Rhett Butler from Gone with the Wind.
- Harriet from Louise Fitzhugh's Harriet the Spy, and also her friend Janie.
- Deconstructed in Saul Bellow's Him with His Foot in His Mouth, where the narrator is, in essence, a deadpan-snark addict. He couldn't resist any opening for snide remarks and would feel guilty after the damage is done, at times with sincere apologies. The number of faux pas he committed is enormous and that eventually contributed to ruining his life.
- Tadhg in A Harvest of War, especially at his showboating daughter.
- There literally is no character in the H.I.V.E. Series who appears more than once has this. Every. Single. One. The only characters who don't, Block and Tackle, give an honest effort and come up with comments that are only moderately witty, to highlight their stupidity.
- Quite a few in the Honor Harrington novels. Probably the most notable is Michael Oversteegen, who snarks at everything. When he is angry enough for Sarcasm Failure, though, whoever is on the receiving end of his anger is in for a very bad day.
- Haymitch Abernathy from The Hunger Games is one of the biggest deadpan snarkers in the novel alongside Katniss and Johanna.
- Ironically, the Snark itself from The Hunting of the Snark is not a snarker at all, as it has No Sense of Humor, which is why this sort of thing can be used to distract it:The third is its slowness in taking a jest.Should you happen to venture on one,It will sigh like a thing that is deeply distressed:And it always looks grave at a pun.
- I, Claudius has some. The Emperor Tiberius, for example:
- When a delegation from Troy offers condolences on the death of his son Tiberius offers condolences on the death of the death of Hector.
- In the Imperial Radch series, Breq, Medic, and especially Gem of Sphene can all snark with the best.Medic: You call that rest, do you?
Breq: Up until the bomb went off, yes.
- The Infernal Devices.
Gabriel: You know, there was a time when I thought we could be friends.Will: There was a time when I thought I was a ferret, but that turned out to be the opium haze. Did you know it had that effect? 'Cause I didn't.
- Oh, Will.
“They’re not hideous,” said Tessa.Will blinked at her. “What?”“Gideon and Gabriel,” said Tessa. “They’re really quite good-looking, not hideous at all.”“I spoke,” said Will, in sepulchral tones, “of the pitch-black inner depths of their souls.”Tessa snorted. “And what color do you suppose the inner depths of your soul are, Will Herondale?”“Mauve,” said Will.
- And there's this scene from The Clockwork Prince:
- Jem's snarkiness comes mostly from saying something, then adding "Not really" with something humorous. He can play the trope completely straight, though.
- Dame Agnes Kerr from Rumer Godden's In This House of Brede.
- Jeeves, the valet from P. G. Wodehouse's novels, was famous for his incredibly diplomatic portrayals of this trope:(when trying to convince his employer, Bertie, not to wear a specific dinner jacket)
Bertie: But all the lads have asked for the name of my tailor.
Jeeves: Doubtless with the aim of avoiding him, sir.
Bertie: He's considered one of the best men in England!
Jeeves: I do not make any judgments regarding his moral character, sir.
- The P. G. Wodehouse 'verse is such a World of Snark in general that even Bertie gets his fair share of snarky comments. Most of them are in the narrative, but when Bingo Little leads him on an overly-long shortcut through the countryside to meet his latest love interest:'Of course,' I said, 'that's enough excitement for anyone, and undoubtedly a corking reward for tramping three miles out of one's way over ploughed fields with tight boots, but don't we do anything else? ...'
- The P. G. Wodehouse 'verse is such a World of Snark in general that even Bertie gets his fair share of snarky comments. Most of them are in the narrative, but when Bingo Little leads him on an overly-long shortcut through the countryside to meet his latest love interest:
- Kindling Ashes: Frang delights in filling Corran's head with sarcasm, insults, and other things designed to annoy him.
- Maybeck, the Grumpy Bear of Kingdom Keepers.
- The Kingdom and the Crown has several snarkers, notably Yehuda, who has it come out frequently in regards to his best friend and fellow Zealot Simeon, as well as when he speaks his mind on the Pharisees.
- Mr. Skree in The Kingdoms of Evil.
- The Kingkiller Chronicle has Kvothe, the most gifted student in the Academy, Ruh performer, who knows the Name of the Wind and of Felurian, his mind like a blade of Ramston Steel, and his tongue to match.
- Fisk from the Knight and Rogue Series. Usually in response to Michael.
- Barquiel L'Envers, of Jacqueline Carey's Kushiel's Legacy series. He has many snarky lines throughout the series, but the best has to be this one:"Didn't you enjoy my largesse in the Khalif's court? I heard I sent you to Khebbel-im-Akkad after paying you to betray your master."
- Levi, AKA Biff, from Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal is snarky enough to have invented the word Sarcasm.
- Liz Pennykettle from The Last Dragon Chronicles. "Quelle surprise."
- Zanna Martindale as well.
- Ditto Grella.
- Light and Dark: The Awakening of the Mage Knight: Elfin culture is based on being straight forward, to the point, and concise. It's very easy for them to sound like this to others and therefore give offense without meaning to.
- The Longing Of Shiina Ryo: Kouma Yon.
- Many characters from The Lord of the Rings fall into this trope occasionally. Gandalf, though, is especially snarky.Bilbo: I'm so very hungry.
Gandalf: Can't help that, unless you'd like to walk back and ask the goblins nicely to give you back your pony and luggage.
Bilbo: No thank you!note
—>Pippin: There must be someone with intelligence in the party.
Gandalf: Then you certainly will not be chosen, Peregrin Took!
Gandalf: (after Bilbo pulls his disappearing stunt at the birthday party) I'm glad to find you visible.
Gandalf: (meeting the bristling three walkers, who have mistaken him for Saruman) Well met indeed, my friends. I wish to speak with you. Will you come down, or shall I come up? (shortly later, after disarming them with barely a thought) Well met, I say again!
Gandalf: (after meeting Sauruman the Many-Colored) "I liked white better."
- It's stated that Bilbo mostly wills his possessions to the people who would want or need them, but for a few relatives, Bilbo goes full-on Deadpan Snarker:
- His cousin who borrows books and never returns them, is given a large (empty) bookcase.
- The relative who never answers letters gets an elaborate gold pen and inkwell.
- To a chronic borrower, an umbrella for his very own.
- Another relative who imagines herself the Shire's equivalent of Dear Abby is given a wastebasket.
- A young cousin with a vanity problem is given a concave mirror.
- Cousin Lobelia, who appropriated his silverware after his first disappearance (although that was never proved) gets a case of silver spoons "as a present." "The took the point, but she also took the spoons."
- It's stated that Bilbo mostly wills his possessions to the people who would want or need them, but for a few relatives, Bilbo goes full-on Deadpan Snarker:
- In Loyal Enemies, Shelena seems physically unable not to snark.(Rest claims that he left the tailors' guild by himself)Shelena: Of course, who'd doubt that.Rest: If so, stop grinning like that!Shelena: Ah, come on. I just envy the people who managed to get rid of you so easily.
Veres: Shelena, I'm telling you for the tenth time...Shelena: You'd better think for the first.
He might be really good battle wizard in the future. After all, he was already quite good at running away from the monster looking as if he was gracing it by it.
- Her internal monologue is full of that:
(After Shelena stomps on Darkness' tail, causing their task to be done with much ensuing hilarity)Veres: Indeed, you're just plain born to work together.
- Veres has his moments as well.
- In The Machineries of Empire, he unnamed Nirai who keeps an eye on Jedao and helps Keris get used to the new presence in her brain snarks at the undead general every time he opens his mouth.
- Interestingly used in Joan Hess's Maggody mysteries, where Arly Hanks makes innumerable sarcastic comments, yet almost no one in the county has enough brains to get the joke. Thus, she mostly has to make due with First-Person Smartass monologues except when interrogating out-of-town suspects.
- Malazan Book of the Fallen:
Ublala: I've met gods before. They collect chickens.Draconus: We possess mysterious ways indeed.
- Udinaas, Samar Dev, Bugg and Fiddler are all snarkers to some degree.
- When Draconus has reason to show humor in Malazan Book of the Fallen, he does. Especially in his interactions with Ublala Pung.
- Martín Fierro: The protagonist is a Gaucho that has a lot of “picardía criolla” (gauchesque mischief) that is very funny… at least for the people that is not directed at. Fierro deconstructs this trope because people consider him a Jerkass and attempt to Offing the Mouth with him.
- Fierro describes an Englishman as from “Inca-la perra” that could be translated like “a dog rider”, demeaning the Englishman, who was someone who found a job digging trenches instead of doing something like riding a horse, only work worthy of a Gaucho.
- Fierro describes another immigrant as a “Pa-po-litano”, meaning a Napolitan… but “Papo” means “pussy” in Argentinian “lunfardo”, so it’s an insult.
- Everyone in the Mediochre Q Seth Series, including the narrative. Mediochre himself manages to stand out even then, as does his sidekick and frequent snarking partner Charlotte. The award for most beautifully deadpan line in the series, however, goes to the presumably-magic automated voice at the entrance to the MABGov meeting chamber.Automated Voice: Please state name now, Sir, Madam or Other.Mediochre: Dr Mediochre Quirinius Seth.Automated Voice: Name not recognised. Please amend and state again.Mediochre: [SIGH]. Professor Doctor Laird Sir Mediochre Quirinius Seth, PhD MusD MSc CBE OBE MIMC VC-Bar, and I also have a Grade 8 in piano if you want to know.Automated Voice: Go right in, Sir. Congratulations on your musical ability.
- The Mortal Instruments:
- Jace Wayland.
- Clary Fray drifts into this sometimes.
- Simon is one of the snarkiest in the books. And that's saying something.
- Valentine Morgenstern.
- Magnus too. Pretty much every character has their moments.
- Special mention goes to Alec. He somehow manages to snark despite not understanding sarcasm.
- Rex Stout's Nero Wolfe series has plenty, but Archie Goodwin, Nero Wolfe's legman, is a champion.Quayle(upon ejection from Wolfe's office by Archie): You goddamn goon.
Archie: That's Goodwin. You left out the D,W,I, but I'll overlook it.
- Nightrunner is FULL of this, especially when Seregil is around. And put him and Thero into one room...Seregil: (in otter form, throwing a fish at Thero's feet) A cold fish for a cold fish!Thero: He never can go anywhere without stealing something.
In light of your former profession, I'm not certain if this was a compliment or an appraisal of the worth of my pelt.
- After his first transformation into an otter in front of Alec (who is a pelt hunter) he replies on latter's praise:
- After his uncle remarks that Seregil is the living image of his late mother Seregil retorts: "Just what a man wants to hear."
- Let's just say, Lynn Flewelling herself is a great snarker. And loves it.
- Tybalt, King of the Cats is practically unable to be anything but this around October Daye.
- Mogget, the cat-formed servant of the Abhorsens in Garth Nix's Old Kingdom series practically personifies this trope. The Disreputable Dog has her moments too.
- While in the main Outlander series, Lord John Gray is an example of the Officer and a Gentleman played relatively straight, he displays some definite tendencies towards being a deadpan snarker. (Well, when he's not mooning after Jamie.) Again, to some degree in his own series as well.
- Blake Thorburn, from Pact, would be one, but magicians in the Pact setting aren't allowed to lie, so he has to keep his snark mental. He's very bitter about this.Blake: Thank you for the commentary. I’d say it was doing lots for my morale, but I’m not allowed to be sarcastic anymore."
- Gail Carriger's Parasol Protectorate series has quite a few of these. Professor Lyall is a big one though. He has to be, being Lord Maccon's beta.
- Everyone in Percy Jackson and the Olympians. (Even the chapter titles are snarked.)Ethan: My mother promised me glory. An eye was a small price to pay.
Percy: Great mom.
- Richard Cole from The Power of Five.
- The online textbook Quantum Mechanics for Engineers by Leo van Dommelen has a lot of snark in places, especially whenever the author points out yet another physical concept with a Non-Indicative Name (which occurs, on average, several times in every chapter).
- Halt from Ranger's Apprentice is a Deadpan Snarker - if he's suddenly serious, you know something's very, very wrong. Gilan, Will, and Horace, his formal and informal apprentices, have all picked up the trait from him (though Will showed traces of even before he met Halt, and there is plenty of Snark-to-Snark Combat shared between Halt, Pauline, and Crowley.
- The title character in Ratman's Notebooks (the source material for the Willard movies). He's so good at it that he often comes across as a satirist or an observational comedian rather than the Ed Gein-inspired criminal he is.
- Keith Laumer's Retief often displays a casual snarkiness regarding the rest of the CDT and how the organization is run. He often exploits his superiors' disdain for this in order to get sent into the thick of things as a punishment. Many of the aliens or human natives encountered also get in on the act.
- The Reynard Cycle: Reynard snarks so much that he engages in Witty Banter even when he is fighting for his life. It generally annoys the heck out of his enemies. When he stops doing this it's usually a very bad sign.
- The eponymous Rosie in The Rosie Project qualifies, further emphasizing her difference from the protagonist Don Tillman.
- Mark, the narrator/PoV character in Sandpaper Kiss, both in his narration and in his actual dialogue.
- Shaman of the Undead has some starling examples, like annoying aunt Tekla, whose deadness doesn't stop her from berating Ida in creative ways when the girl doesn't want to do something. Other is Redhead, who constantly teases Ida and Brittle, who learn to answer in kind out of sheer self-defense.
- Sherlock Holmes
- Sherlock Holmes is this trope!Athelney Jones: (talking about a Locked Room Mystery) What do you think of this, Holmes? Sholto was, on his own confession, with his brother last night. The brother died in a fit, on which Sholto walked off with the treasure? How's that?
Sherlock Holmes: On which the dead man very considerately got up and locked the door on the inside.
- Watson has had his own fair share of snarks, to the point that Holmes does comment on his "pawky humour."
- And his non-canonical protégée and later wife, Mary Russell, in the Mary Russell books is just as deadpan a snarker as Holmes.
- Sherlock Holmes is this trope!
- Sisterhood Series by Fern Michaels: Jack Emery can do this like nobody else can. More than one character calls him a wiseass.
- In Smaller & Smaller Circles, Father Saenz and Father Jerome often snark in each other's company. Joanna, a reporter hot on their heels, is also a serial offender.
- Asher from Someone Else's War is spectacular at this.
- Melinda, the main character of Laurie Halse Anderson's Speak, is deadpan in all aspects of life. Considering she was raped at an end-of-summer party at the age of fourteen, it's understandable. This doesn't stop her from being one of Anderson's most hilarious and likable characters.
- Gerald Morris's The Squire's Tales turns many of King Arthur's knights into this. Particularly Gawain and Gaheris, Rhience, and Arthur himself when he allows himself.
- Jay, in the book series Spaceforce.
- Q, in the non-canon Star Trek book I, Q. "Yeah, and if that doesn't work, maybe the Easter Bunny will save us."
- Deadpan humor seems to be by far the most prevalent kind in the Star Wars Legends; nearly all named characters (and there are plenty) will throw out a snarky line at least once.
- Mara Jade and Ben Skywalker are prone to this, but where Mara will start snarking just for the hell of it, Ben tends to save particularly nasty comments for moments when he's genuinely unhappy (although as we see in Outcast, he's not immune to random outbursts, either). And yes, both of them share the same irreverent sense of humor. Like mother, like son, really.Ben: [after hearing about one of Luke's earlier failures, specifically the cave section in ESB] You know, it gives me hope that you screwed up so badly and so consistently as a kid, Dad.
- Han has a very memorable one in the New Jedi Order novel Destiny's Way:Han: What the Empire would have done is build a supercolossal Yuuzhan Vong-killing Battle Machine. They would have called it the Nova Colossus or the Galaxy Destructor or the Nostril of Palpatine or something equally grandiose. They would have spent billions of credits, employed thousands of contractors and subcontractors, and equipped it with the latest in death-dealing technology. And you know what would have happened? It wouldn't have worked. They'd forget to bolt down a metal plate over an access hatch leading to the main reactors, or some other mistake, and a hotshot enemy pilot would drop a bomb down there and blow the whole thing up. Now that's what the Empire would have done.
- Darth Vader of all people in the Coruscant Nights novel Patterns of Force. Here's the set-up: Vader has just captured protagonist Jax Pavan and his friends with the assistance of Dejah Duare. Jax and Duare have a back-and-forth about the betrayal and how much Jax has figured out about before Darth interrupts them thusly:Darth Vader: This is all vaguely interesting and amusing, Pavan. But it has gone on long enough.
- It would basically just be shorter to list the characters who aren't. Bonus points for the X-Wing Series, in which 95% of the pilots are snarkers, and many lines of dialogue are just sarcasm from one pilot to another. The characters of Aaron Allston's parts of the X-Wing Series especially tend towards this trope. Most of the not-inconsiderable amount of humor in his books is of this variety.Wedge: Phanan, Face, still Seven and Eight. I'd hate to break up the best comedy team this side of the janitor's closet.
Phanan: I love an understanding commander. Know where I can get one?
- Star Wars: Kenobi:
- Determined Widow Annileen Calwell maintains her sanity through snark. Raising a pair of teenagers and being the Only Sane Woman in the Pika Oasis will do that to you. For example, when her kids are fighting over who gets the old landspeeder, she suggests that they could share it.Ben: Is that wise?
Annileen: Oh, yes. This way, when they finally decide to run away from home, they'll get farther.
- Ben himself (Obi-Wan Kenobi in exile) has his moments, such as when he shuts down a suggestive comment from Veeka Gault in almost Gentleman Snarker fashion.Veeka: How about it, Bennie? You want to save a grown-up for a change?
Ben: [politely] Fine. Do tell me when one comes in.
- Determined Widow Annileen Calwell maintains her sanity through snark. Raising a pair of teenagers and being the Only Sane Woman in the Pika Oasis will do that to you. For example, when her kids are fighting over who gets the old landspeeder, she suggests that they could share it.
- Mara Jade and Ben Skywalker are prone to this, but where Mara will start snarking just for the hell of it, Ben tends to save particularly nasty comments for moments when he's genuinely unhappy (although as we see in Outcast, he's not immune to random outbursts, either). And yes, both of them share the same irreverent sense of humor. Like mother, like son, really.
- Alys in Terra Mirum Chronicles is, in her friend Charlie's words, "Miss Always-Has-a-Snarky-Comeback."
- To Kill a Mockingbird - Atticus Finch is an unusually benevolent version.
- Sarah in her normal life in Tales of an Mazing Girlis pretty snarky. She tends to only *think* it however when she puts on her mask.
- Tantei Team KZ Jiken Note: In the beginning Aya sees Uesugi as being Four Eyes, Zero Soul, but he is closer to this. It's hard not to snark if The Leader is so Hot-Blooded to verge into Fearless Fool territory.
- Mephistopheles in Steven Brust's To Reign in Hell.
- The Red Knight in The Traitor Son Cycle is quite fond of dry wit, especially when it serves to chastise others for their lack of confidence in him.
- The title character of George R.R. Martin's Tuf Voyaging really has no emotions except for sarcasm, but he disguises it with enough Spock Speak that many of his interlocutors never realize that they've been insulted.
- The unnamed debt-collector narrator of most of the "Cyclops" episode in James Joyce's Ulysses is one of the most caustic and mean-minded snarkers ever written.
- Seems to be an inborn trait of the rats in The Underland Chronicles, who are also some of the few underlanders to use informal language.Twitchtip: (when Photos-glow-glow "can't understand" boots): Allow me to translate. She said If you don't stop you incessant bable that big rat sitting in the boat next to you will rip you head off.
- Vampire Academy:
- Rose is known to have a very dry wit and sense of humor. Her mouth has a habit of getting her in trouble sometimes.
- Christian. Of the Tall, Dark, and Snarky variation. Some of his first sarcastic words to Lissa: "I love pity parties. I wish I'd brought the hats. What do you want to mope about first? How it's going to take you a whole day to be popular and loved again?"
- Jack in Sebastian Rook's Vampire Plague books. It really comes out when he's confronted with vampires. Or Dominique.
- The Village Tales series is overloaded with them. Never mind the Cast Full of Pretty Boys, the series is stuffed to the gunwales with Deadpan Snarkers, engaging in Snark-to-Snark Combat in a World of Snark. The Duke of Taunton, Gentleman Snarker, alone had been enough for most books. He is not alone. Even his mild-mannered Rector has pointed out that the primary difference between the Duke and God – in case His Grace has again confused the two – is that God doesn't labor under the delusion he's the duke of Taunton; his nephews snark for Oxford; his old mucker the Nawab snarks; for that matter, even the duke's humorless Grande Dame sister-in-law gets in a fair few, let alone the other neighbors.Connie (Lady Crispin) Fitzjames, the Duke's sister-in-law, on the Village Concert, in Cross And Poppy: I wash my hands of it.
The Duke: You'd have made a splendid prefect of Judaea.
and, in Evensong, regarding the Big Band music for a servants' dance:Sher Mirza: I suppose you'll want some Ellington as well?.
The Duke: Don't be silly, Sher. (Beat.) Too many dukes.
- Many of the characters in the Vorkosigan Saga have their moments, particularly Miles Vorkosigan himself, but Simon Illyan is probably the best example.
- The Russian diplomat Bilibin in War and Peace, known later in Petersburg society for what he calls his mots (French for "sayings").
- Jayfeather and Yellowfang from Warrior Cats; they're the two biggest snarkers in the series, which is possibly the reason they didn't get along very well.
- Cloudtail is also repeatedly referred to as having a sharp tongue.
- The Wheel of Time has several:
- The most obvious and recurring one is Matrim Cauthon. It eventually gets edged out by him being a Memetic Badass.
- His lieutenant, Talmanes, is so subtle at it that it took Mat months to realize that Talmanes was doing it at all - and then he quickly realized Talmanes never wasn't snarking.
- Lan Mandragoran. Tall, Dark, and Snarky, to boot.
- Rand eventually gets shades of a gentle version after his near destruction of the world.
- The Aiel, in their own way. You'll have to know their culture to get their jokes, though. Sometimes better than the reader.
- The most obvious and recurring one is Matrim Cauthon. It eventually gets edged out by him being a Memetic Badass.
- Wings of Fire has a few examples:''”We don’t have to kill him,” Tsunami said. “We’ll tie him up an leave him here.”''”Great,” Glory said. How about a trail of cow parts, too? Or perhaps we could set this part of the forest on fire, just to make sure everyone knows how to find us. Would you like me to spell out ‘DRAGONETS WUZ HERE’ in giant rocks?”
Just what I need, a bunch of glaciers slowing me down.
- Kestrel has hers, too. Almost all of The Dragonet Prophecy’s prologue where she appears for example.
- Winter as well, but mostly in his thoughts.
"Oh, Eeyore, you are wet!" said Piglet, feeling him.Eeyore shook himself, and asked somebody to explain to Piglet what happened when you had been inside a river for quite a long time.
- Despite having a different trope named for him, Eeyore in A. A. Milne's original Winnie-the-Pooh books is very much a Deadpan Snarker; only his Disney-fied film version is the sort of lovable depressive that can grace so many pastel-colored sweatshirts.
- Rabbit has a couple of moments as well.
- The Witchlands has Safi, whose sharpest weapon is not her knife, but her tongue, to the point where some characters wonder if she's ever not snarking.Do all Hell-Bards waddle like ducks, or is it just you?
- Ayn Rand. Get this burn Francisco d'Anconia lays on Jim Taggart in Atlas Shrugged:D'Anconia: It is unwise Jim, to venture unsolicited opinions. You may wish to spare yourself the embarrassing revelation of their exact value to the listener.
Rearden: Run along, Non-Absolute. Try and pour a ton of molten steel on the expediency of the moment.
- And the smackdown Hank Rearden gives to his assistant:
Dagny: I crashed the gate. Literally.
- Dagny is quite the snarker.
- Ayn herself: "If you don't understand my books, you sure as Hell won't understand my voice."
- Everything Douglas Adams writes is bound to have a deadpan snarker in it somewhere, but the most well known are Marvin and Arthur. Actually, apart from being fantastically and intrinsically linked to the events of the Earth blowing up (repeatedly) and wondering where the tea is, that's all Arthur does, although everyone gets in on the act at some point. Even the narrative. Constantly. Then again, it is Douglas Adams.Richard: The teacher usually learns more than the pupils. Isn't that true?
Random Professor of Cambridge: It would be hard to learn much less than my pupils without undergoing a prefrontal lobotomy.
Marvin: (grumbling) "Give me a hand." Ha, ha, stupid human.
- Marvin in the aforementioned series is an all-time master of this trope. When he isn't bitching and moaning he's doing nothing but making snarky comments.
- Would you believe H.P. Lovecraft? From "The Dunwich Horror": "But then, the homes and sheds of Dunwich's folk have never been remarkable for olfactory immaculateness."
- One time a student of Lovecraft's mistook the common notation Ibid for the name of some ancient Roman fellow—which to be fair it does sound like. Lovecraft loved that so much that he wrote a story called "Ibid" about such a fellow in mockery. What kind of humour would you expect from a guy who thought that the universe was a harsh, hostile place?
- This letter To My Old Master, from a former slave.
- Most of Jane Austen's heroines have a streak of this. See Emma Woodhouse, Marianne and Elinor Dashwood, etc. They get it from their author, as we see from Miss Austen's private letters.
- Pride and Prejudice
"An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you do."
- Elizabeth Bennet: "I give you leave to like him. You have liked many a stupider person." She gets it from her father:
- Mr. Darcy is quite the snarker himself. Their mutually snarky banter is the earliest indication that the two of them are better for each other than they realize.
- Pride and Prejudice
- Machado de Assis's works often exhibit this.
- The aptly-named bathroom reader 1,001 Facts That Will Scare the S#*t Out of You is a collection of both disturbing statistics and an equal amount of snide remarks commenting on every single one.(excerpt from the chapter 'And in My Spare Time, I Enjoy Dying', with boldface and italics as it appears) FACT: In boxing, a "knockout" is synonymous with cerebral concussion, which can lead to short- or long-term amnesia and confusion. Another concern is that the neurological damage is cumulative and makes the boxer increasingly vulnerable to future injury and permanent neurological trauma. Amnesia might not be a bad thing, in this case. Who wants to remember getting his ass kicked?
- Lizzie's character in Spider Circus is very much this, especially when talking to Jack.
- This exchange in Star Carrier: Earth Strike between Rear Admiral Alexander Koenig and his flag captain Randolph Buchanan:
- The Windwater Pack: The reason Ashtree says sarcasm is Zephyr's first language. Apparently an inherited trait i.e. Layla and Cian. Sequana has her moments too. As does Moira: "You want to sing? This could easily be someone's territory. Sure; let's announce our presence to all and sundry."
- The Stormlight Archive:
- This is literally the job of the Alethi King's Wit. Essentially, the King's Wit exists to insult people whom the king wants insulted, since it would be beneath the king's dignity to insult them himself. The current holder of the post, a serial cameo by the name of Hoid, takes to the job with gusto and aplomb.Wit: [to Sadeas] Every man has his place. Mine is to make insults. Yours is to be in-sluts.
- Shallan seems to have a compulsion to make witty remarks at almost any opportunity, though with less emphasis on the deadpan. Discussed when Jasnah gently chides her for saying "the first passably clever thing that enters your mind" and encourages her to be more thoughtful in her snark. Also occasionally Lampshaded:Merchant: Brightness... I believe you stray into sarcasm.
Shallan: Funny. I thought I'd run straight into it, screaming at the top of my lungs.
- This is literally the job of the Alethi King's Wit. Essentially, the King's Wit exists to insult people whom the king wants insulted, since it would be beneath the king's dignity to insult them himself. The current holder of the post, a serial cameo by the name of Hoid, takes to the job with gusto and aplomb.
- So, so many characters by Oscar Wilde. To name a few: Lord Henry from The Picture of Dorian Gray; Vivian in "The Decay Of Lying - An Observation"; Algeron and Lady Bracknell in The Importance Of Being Earnest.
- Also many characters by Saki, both men and women (and the occasional cat).
- Villette has Lucy. Especially when talking to her friend Ginevra.
- Every single character in The Rules of Supervillainy is a smart ass. The only exception is the Superman EXPY Ultragod who seems like the lone bastion of politeness in an otherwise Crapsack World.
- Rutti in Redfern Jon Barrett's The Giddy Death of the Gays and the Strange Demise of Straights fits the trope. His dry and often cruel sense of humor being fueled by his hatred of the conservative, homophobic city around him.
- In the older Max and Ruby books by Rosemary Wells, Ruby was more of a Deadpan Snarker and sometimes strict with her brother Max. Which can be seen in "Max's Chocolate Chicken" and "Max's Christmas". She even said to Max "Max, you'd have trouble finding your own ears if they weren't attached to your head." in Max's Chocolate Chicken since Max didn't gather eggs and was busy gathering acorns and making an Acorn Pancake. This was also present in the Animated Adaptation for "Max's Chocolate Chicken" and "Max's Christmas" which was released on VHS in the early 90's. Ruby became more nicer and kind around Max in later books of the series.
- Taken to near epic-levels by the cast of the Red Room series. It seems being a magical secret agent turns you into a smartass.
- Alaric Morgan in the Deryni works:
- Early in Deryni Rising. Morgan is checking his aide Derry's injury when he is rudely interrupted by a whip-wielding giant-sized Connaiti mercenary announcing "His Loftiness" the Supreme of Howicce. Morgan stops Derry from retaliating (noting the giant was accompanied by six more just like him), but cannot resist indulging his sense of humour. When Derry asks, "By all the devils in hell, what is a Supreme of Howicce?" Morgan replies in a penetrating stage whisper, "I'm not certain. I don't think it's as high as a Quintessence or a Penultimate. Probably some minor ambassador with delusions of his own importance." At a glare from the last of giant mercenaries, Morgan puts on an innocent expression, but once the party has proceeded down the street, he discreetly uses his powers to entangle the whip-wielder's whip round his horse's legs, bringing down both man and beast and forcing the Connaiti to cut the whip to rescue his horse.
- In The Bishop's Heir, Morgan and Kelson are watching a figure that appears to be two people riding a single horse. It proves to be Dhugal carrying Sidana away from the Mearans in Ratharkin. Morgan says, "Aye, and to be riding double at that speed and on a horse that spent, the Devil himself must be chasing them. Care to give the Devil some sport, Sire?"
- In Erin Bow's novel Sorrow's Knot, Kestrel is this.
- A common way of coping with the hell of war in Old Man's War. The protagonist, John Perry, is like this even before military service.
- While the Horus Heresy books tend to be dark, there are still a few of these - especially in the early stages, before hell quite literally breaks loose. They're particularly common among the Sons of Horus - Tarik Torgaddon would be a hugely valuable battlefield resource if snarky commentary could be used as bolter ammunition, and while Loken is more serious, he does pick things up quickly.Abaddon: Do this right, Garviel.
Loken: I'm glad you told me that, I'd been considering making a mess of it.