![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
I am 22, and thanks for the compliment. I hope it does blow the teacher away.
The story itself...I kinda worry people might not get some of the plot points. They're kinda weird.
Blowout soon fellow Stalker
I always like it when people in it for the money find friends and make that a bigger priority. And the idea that she choses Grace over Leon is interesting as well. Overall I like her.
Name: Irina "Stalker" Petrova
Age: Estimated at 19
Personality: She's a shy girl, with not many children in the bunker to spend time with she turned to her books as entertainment. As a result she's not very good at conversation and lacks a great deal of confidence. She loves reading, doesn't matter what genre it is or if it's even a proper book, a technical manual or a candy wrapper, she loves the written word.
Abilities: Not many, the only thing she has going for her is her knowledge of things read and whatever relevant books or manuals she brought with her from the bunker.
Weaknesses: Physically she's malnourished and weak and has very little hands on experience in most things.
Goals: Survive and eventually find the legendary city
Motivation: Survival is her main one but after hearing about the city she wants a proper life and above all else, an actual bed to sleep in.
Role in the story: The protagonist and a newcomer to piece together the world before the end and just how bad WW3 was.
Backstory: Brought into a safe bunker as a child shortly before the nuclear holocaust by her father, she lived most of her life there, away from the outside world. Recent events forced her to abandon her home. Setting off with her fathers old gun from the mantle and an old gas mask, she gathers what books and food she can and begins her journey into the nuclear wasteland trying to find anything she can use to survive. After doing a poor job of that and collapsing in a bombed out building she is found by four soldiers who survived WW3 roaming the wasteland looking for food and anything tradable. They nurse her back to health and she decides to travel with them permanently and after some time together they hear rumors of a single city in the wasteland being built by survivors with a population of over a thousand. The five set off to find the city and finally settle down.
Relevant Tropes: There are more but I don't know them all off the top of my head.
Bookworm: Very much so.
Daddy's Girl: Was one before she left the bunker.
The Ditherer: Of the insecure type.
Disaster Scavengers: Pretty much required to be one to survive.
The Faceless: Likes to hide behind her gas mask more and never shows her face to people she doesn't trust.
Gas Mask, Longcoat: Eventually acquires an army greatcoat that gives her the look, even if it is a few sizes too large.
In the Hood: Wears a thick hooded sweatshirt with the hood always up.
Pants-Positive Safety: How she ends up carrying her gun most of the time.
Person with the Clothing: Many remember her as the girl with the gas mask.
Post-Apunkalyptic Armor: End up finding many bits here and there to wear like a vest, knee pads, a helmet that's too big and so on.
Rare Guns: The Nagant M1895, the only true weapon she has. Her father used it as a display piece before the end, lucky for her it's still loaded.
Security Blanket: The reason why she likes wearing the mask, feels much safer behind it, even if the air isn't toxic.
Shy Finger-Twiddling: Can be prone to this.
Thief Bag: Not so much a backpack for stolen loot but for scavenged loot. Of course that all depends on your definition of stealing.
edited 5th Oct '13 11:16:29 AM by LeGarcon
Oh really when?
rollin' on dubs
Make sure that her weaknesses are enforced: don't have her lift heavy things without help, she gorges on food because she'll never know when the next meal is. Bugs, she'd eat bugs and other icky things because hunger outweighs the squick.
Is she a Fan of the Past or are books just an escape?
She's a pretty good character and I admit that' I'm a sucker for Shy Finger-Twiddling.
All night at the computer, cuz people ain't that great. I keep to myself so I won't be on The First 48
rollin' on dubs
“In a galaxy, where the United Earth Government has fought a civil war, losing several worlds to the Southern Cross and had a war with the Alien Cay Union, hope rides in a ship called Victory ” *cue theme music*
Here's one of the command trio of The Rival to the Victory:
Name: Lieutenant commander Jeri El'hat Masaka
Age: 30
Personality: see also Abilities and Weaknesses A human raised by aliens after EDF forces raided his colony. A war orphan, he's now a military officer. Really Gets Around/ Bi The Way/ Ethical Slut/ Polyamory /Chivalrous Pervert / Comes Great Responsibility
Abilities:
- Ace Pilot: with Improbable Piloting Skills and High-Speed Missile Dodge
- Try and Follow / Wronski Feint: loves to pull that on EDF ships and fighters.
- Officer and a Gentleman: a professional military officer on duty, but very friendly off duty.
- Pardon my Marta: he swears in both standard and Marta
- Heroic Resolve because he's Fighting for a Homeland
- Hot-Blooded: Martissans are very open with their emtions, he mirrors that.
- Humans Are Warriors: Martissans value peace and co-operation, his “human anger” has gotten him into trouble...
- Would Not Shoot a Civilian: in a military composed of former terrorists, pirates, spies and criminals he averts the image of the cutthroat Southern Cross raider. Some SCMC officers see him as not tough enough.
- Ethical Slut: most see the "slut" part of the trope and can't see the "ethical" part, ditto Chivalrous Pervert.
- Culture Blind: He knows of some of the more popular works, but only because he had to read them in school. He prefers Martissan myths and poetry.
- Fantastic Racism: not to humans but to “Earthers” and earth culture, some see it as Heroic Resolve, but Jeri is starting to think that it may be a weakness
Motivation: While he would like to avenge his human family, he's moved beyond mere revenge. He's rejected most of “humanity” because it was humans who killed his parents. He believes power should be tempered by compassion and ethics
Role in the story: A human who has Blue-and-Orange Morality and is an outsider to humanity. Aesop Collateral Damage: he's a war orphan.
Backstory: The Southern Cross and the United Earth Government have fought many times. The EDF hit several Southern Cross worlds twenty years ago. Everyone talks about “Collateral Damage”, but for Jeri El'hat Masaka is all too familiar with the real consequences of an orbital strike. El'hat means “child orphaned by war” in the Martissan language, the apostrophe signifies a child separated from loved ones by war. After the Space Forces bombarded his homeworld, EDF Marines forced the colonists to leave. He was told that an uncle died on the way up, cradling him in his arms. After the SCMC pushed the EDF back, the Southern Cross tried to resettle the displaced colonists. Records were destroyed, families torn apart. Baby “J” was sent to a human foster family after an SCMC medic turned him over to the Ministry of Social Services. The human family was a disaster. Distant relatives who didn't even name him and barely took care of him. Color Sergeant Kor Masaka checked on the human baby he had saved. Martissans view children as embodying the future and more precious than anything. He was heartbroken that the child's own family didn't seem to care. His family was awarded custody . They named him “Jeri” because it was a human name that in Martissan is the word for hope. Jeri, grew up with Martissan parents, siblings and friends. Sure he has human friends, but his first kiss was a Martissan schoolmate. He married two Martissans after he graduated university. Since his fathers were SCMC members, he joined the SCMC soon afterward.
He believes that power should be tempered by compassion. Ethics and morality guide his actions. He is fond of saying that he doesn't hate humans, he doesn't like Earth. Many humans in the Southern Cross look to Earth from time to time or talk about “mother earth”. He looks to the Southern Cross worlds Martissans have colonized. He's currently the first officer of the SCSS Amy Komori under Captain Acera Veery. He was picked because he's a tactical ace and many see his potential. Veterans of the last SC-Earth war see his hatred of Earth as a strength not a weakness....
Relevant Tropes:
- Interspecies Adoption by Martissans: Jeri's human parents were killed in a raid by the EDF. An orbital strike hit his parent's colony. He was rescued by a Martissan SCMC medic and was raised by the Masaka family.
- Dark and Troubled Past: he's a war orphan.
- Oblivious Adoption: He's a human raised by aliens. Sure he speaks Marta and has a Martissan family, but he'll outlive his family and his adopted parents are dead.
- Perfect Pacifist People: his image of Martissan culture, he says that contact with more violent species makes them TechnicalPacifists,
- Fantastic Racism: not to humans but to “Earthers” and earth culture.
- My Species Doth Protest Too Much: zig-zags, he's more Martissan than some of his friends, but at the same time he has the negative qualities that he claims to see in humans (anger, jealousy, hatred). That there are Martissan criminals and raiders is a Berserk Button of his.
- Raised by Orcs: how he's written up in the EDF intelligence file on him and his ship.
- Foster Kid: had human foster parents, abusive foster parents before Color Sergeant Kor Masaka's family was awarded full custody.
- Happily Adopted: Loves his family and writes his siblings often.
- Tell Me About My Father: a Berserk Button, his human foster parents didn't even give him a name. According to what's left of the colony's records his human parents were drifters.
- Humans Are Bastards: Humans took him from all he knew. Humans hemmed and hawed when a baby was made an orphan. Humans didn't even give the baby a name.
- Curiosity Causes Conversion: slowly coming around to learning more about humanity
- Military Brat : Kor and his husband were military officers, his wives were contractors working on starships, Jerry followed suit. He plans on becoming an engineer when he retires.
- Do You Want to Copulate?: Martissans have no hang ups about sex, if approached in any way they prefer the “direct approach”, but Jerry does like flirting.
- Culture Blind: He knows of some of the more popular works, but only because he had to read them in school. He prefers Martissan myths and poetry, but he has a weakness for Shakespeare and Mahler
edited 16th Sep '13 4:02:49 PM by TairaMai
All night at the computer, cuz people ain't that great. I keep to myself so I won't be on The First 48
rollin' on dubs
~bumped for bumpiness~
edited 16th Sep '13 7:02:12 AM by TairaMai
All night at the computer, cuz people ain't that great. I keep to myself so I won't be on The First 48
This is an interesting one , certainly a pretty well thought out character, though im not sure how i feel about him yet, he's more hot blooded than the Martissans but yet he finds compassion to be important. It seems as though he struggles with his anger, this makes a nice weakness though i wonder if his anger will get the better of him. It's always sad when a benevolent character's anger ruins them, but depending on how you're writing it, sad can be good : ) . It also seems as though you've done a good job diversifying his culture between humans and Martissans. Best of luck~
edited 16th Dec '13 12:11:15 AM by ShayuWolf
Right here
@278 Ah, so she's the main protagonist of the story you mentioned before. I think she's a well and balanced character, would love to see her got a nice Character Development later . Would she be the team's Mr. Fixit or The Engineer ? And who trained her to shoot?
Well now, seems like a Mr. Vice Guy (not that I'm complaining) . Since he's some kind of rival and Foil for the Victory's crew, how would he interact with them? And does his relationship with his crew would affect him later on?
For one of my stories set in a mage Boarding School .
Edit: Removed mine
edited 12th May '16 10:56:21 PM by Bleedingbreath
Blowout soon fellow Stalker
I like him already, this entire thing actually seems like a story I'd really like. I'm assuming the story starts out somewhat light hearted and gets more serious as more revelations about the key come around?
@279 She's a bit of both, the books are always a nice escape from the rather bleak wasteland and she's never actually lived a pre war life having been brought to the bunker at such a young age. Any tales she hears about The Before Times are just as interesting as the ones in her stories.
@283 I'm thinking eventually she'll learn how to help maintain the tank and weapons and so on from her manuals and her friends teaching her. And she's never shot a gun before in her life, just grabbed her father's revolver and left.
edited 16th Sep '13 10:00:27 PM by LeGarcon
Oh really when?
@283 Your character sounds interesting. I really like the idea of the key and apathetic characters are always fun to watch, they rarely get to actually enjoy doing nothing. All in all this looks like a nice fresh spin on the Angelic/Demonic Fantasy genre.
@278 As I said before dude I like your character(s) they're all quite balanced and unique and the fit perfectly in the world you've created for them, you didn't mention it on here but I really like the concept of the patched up BTR they the soldiers drive around in. It really makes for a nice, cozy, safe, defensible, place from the unforgiving wasteland, and it's mobile!
Right here
Thank you, and yes, it got hit by Cerebus Syndrome later on. Hopefully it won't turn into something grimdark.
Irina reminds me of a Fallout MC who got high numbers on her repair and speech skills, now I want to see her being trained to shoot her gun.
My pleasure. And if I may ask, what sorts of things that had already done to death in a Angelic/Demonic Fantasy genre in your opinion?
Shayu seems like a really wild and an uncontrollable character, does he count as a Wild Card? Like manipulating multiple factions to serve his cause or something like that. Or a Leeroy Jenkins? In my opinion, there are some Plot Dumps that I see, you could improve the paragraphs' format.
edited 17th Sep '13 1:20:59 AM by Bleedingbreath
Sorry yes, i definately info dumped up there, it was getting quite late and i wanted to flesh out my characters features so i could get the best critique possible. Perhaps it would be best if i condensed all of that data. But no he's not a wild card, he runs with his own faction he co-founded. He is not quite a leeroy, as he'll often partake in the planning of missions, however he is a much better strategist than he is a tactician and he overestimates his power at times.
Blowout soon fellow Stalker
Right, got a second one for you all if that's ok. Same story as Irina up there. Should probably think of a title for that.
He's a member of the group that found Irina
Name: Mikhail Bezrukov
Age: Estimated at 42
Personality: The oldest of the group and the biggest, he's quiet and contemplative. Not quite The Stoic but doesn't have much to talk about. He's a fun and understanding man when the mood takes him and has many great stories to tell. Often treats Irina like she's his niece.
Abilities: A Russian army soldier and a veteran of WW3 he knows how to handle himself in a fight and is quite the survivalist. Was on the Russian Olympic Sambo team before he broke his leg in a car accident and was forced to retire from the games.
Weaknesses: Age, the wasteland, the war and lack of a proper diet has taken a toll on his body. He's no longer in his prime and his hair is greying. He creaks, aches and has numerous scars. Would rather spend his time sitting down than running about.
Goals: The survival of both him and his friends, find the city and finally get a proper rest.
Motivation: He loves and cares deeply for his friends and wants to see them survive just as much as he. He's just tired and would eventually like to properly retire.
Role in the story: Supporting protagonist and an older uncle type figure to Irina.
Backstory: Was born into a relatively unimpressive family. Not a poor one but by no means a rich one. His father owned a bar and he spent much of his time there helping him. He received good marks in school and went to university and studied chemistry. Joined the universities Sambo team and rose up through the ranks over time. Eventually he was selected to represent Russia in the Olympics but was struck by a drunk driver on his way to practice. During his stay in the hospital he struck up a romance with one of the nurses. Eventually the two were married and had a set of twins together. As the war dragged on the need for more soldiers grew and he was conscripted. He kissed his wife and children goodbye and promised to write to them everyday. They were in Moscow when the world ended. He still keeps a picture of them in his breast pocket along with the letters he could never send.
Relevant Tropes: May be some I missed but I'll try.
Bad Dreams: Often dreams of his lost wife and children. Not exactly cheerful when he wakes up and has to get back to the wasteland.
Band of Brothers: He and his friends form one of these.
Bash Brothers: With his comrades.
BFG: Was the automatic rifleman back in the day. Has a PKP Pecheneg-2, when that's a little too big he'll use an RPK-12 instead.
The Big Guy: Standing at an imposing 6'5" he's certainly the tallest of the group and the biggest.
Boisterous Bruiser: He turns into one of these when the mood takes him.
Challenge Seeker: Was certainly one back in his younger days but now he's just tired.
Fire-Forged Friends: Over the years all of his comrades became these.
Honorary Uncle: Becomes one of these of sorts to Irina.
I Coulda Been a Contender!: Having his Olympic career cut short thanks to his injury.
Mildly Military: At this point any chain of command in his team has completely disintegrated and they're just four men with large guns driving about in a tank.
Never Got to Say Goodbye: To his family.
Retired Badass: Soon to be fully retired.
Reluctant Warrior: Tired of war and killing people but perfectly able to if he has to.
Team Dad: Takes on this role from time to time.
edited 26th Sep '13 10:20:37 PM by LeGarcon
Oh really when?
Sir Night, Wayward Hunter-Angel
Nice work. I can see this being a fairly likable person who can survive after the end, which is truly a rare breed. Even if he does die of old age at some point, it still counts.
Also, this guy is from the Critiques for Questions of Your Main Character thread. Ahem
Name: Baron Vetala, the Walker of Nights (not his birth name, that's an alias he's since chosen as the name he goes by in daily life-partially to avoid I Know Your True Name and he's just that paranoid, mainly because his real name is Corey Lloyd and he lives in a universe where "Raziel Kablah" and "Dagran Birnasdottir" are nothing to write home about, and he found that embarassing)
Age: 38, looks and feels younger due to longevity treatments and certain deliberate mutations.
Personality:. Passionate, self-assured, just, and...vain. Very, very vain. As in, "could be diagnosed with literal narcissistic personality disorder and the reaction from everyone nearby would be relief that they finally know what's wrong with him" levels of vain. The Baron was a Spoiled Sweet child of relative privilege, and he's never really grasped the idea of the fact that the world does not revolve around him and whoever he deems important. It's not quite being a Narcissist though-he's actually very honest about his intentions to free the world from the Confederation of Light's Culture Police (of which he used to be a member) and bring freedom of thought to its citizens...by force, if need be. He's just very haughty and self-assured about it, and is in it at least partially for his own ego and fame.
Abilities: As a witch-pilot, Vetala is a flier of one of the Malandanti's Solomonic Familiars, actually a heavily-modified cybernetic archdemon bound to their pilot upon summoning from superspace), specifically Lilian, a spawner-type familiar, which he uses to great effect. He is also a practitioner of hermetic sorcery, and has honed his abilities as an illusionist and mentalism to nigh-unparalled levels, which serves him well in his specialist area of combat: disruption tactics. He's also a very smart battle planner and politician, and the ''Antediluvian Codex he keeps has a lot of information in it, if he can steel himself. Technically, his mutations also allow him to fly and claw, but given the kinds of things a mecha pilot is expected to face, those aren't generally things that help him, being how all familiars can fly and he is uh, a normally squishy person.
Weaknesses: Did I mention his huge ego? Because it's big. Very big. Big enough to the point where he takes humiliation and failure personally, either resulting in grudges or a bout of self-loathing. What's more, he was raised to see friends as resources-if there is no direct mutual gain in their relationship, there's no point to being friends with anyone. Needless to say, this attitude doesn't win him any, including the Power Trio he leads (they follow him out of respect for him as a commander, not as a person). He's also not particularly gifted in any other fields of sorcery, and Lilian is fairly fragile as familiars go-her spawning organs need to be uncovered.
Goals: Help the Malandanti lead a sucessful revolt against the Confederation of Light and establish an Empire of Reason where all are treated fairly and equally under the law, same as most witch-pilots. More than that, he wants to end the anti-intellectual policies and forced ignorance of the Confederation-he likes to say that "wisdom and freedom are synonyms". Personally, he also wants to preserve as much proscribed literature and art as he can from the typical reaction of the Forum on Information's typical reaction to stuff that disagrees with the party line in any way.
Motivation: His personal motivation is one part The Atoner, one part Revenge-as mentioned, he used to be a censor for them, and he destroyed a lot of proscribed material and altered a lot of news before he cracked open the Codex and learned who he was actually fighting for. He both feels regret for clamping down on free thought and education for no good reason at all, and anger at the Confeds for lying to him about their reasons (let's just say they're an Expy of the [[Warhammer40000 Imperium of Man]]...in a universe where their mythos is the cause of Everything Trying to Kill You, rather than the other way around).
Role in the story: Leader of the Trimurti Squadron, and main hero along them. Given what the Malandanti are based on, eventual (and reluctant) Napoleon figure.
Backstory: Originally a minor bureaucrat (which is still a noble position in the Confederation) with the position of censor, Baron Vetala was the picture of the virtuous Confed aristocrat-which is to say, vain, ambitious, and with the talent and dedication to back it up, with enough self-awareness to keep the noblisse oblige part to heart. Originally, he fully believed in the virtue of his mission, having bought in to the party line that sorcery of any sort was The Corruption for all but the most cloistered, and that the Outer Beings (or Outer, if you're referring to the race as a whole) would take any opportunity to use their demonic conspirators to infiltrate and rot the Confederation from within to feed their alien hungers.
Free thought among their schemes, as what the Outer feed on is despair. Their entire thought process and society revolve around sating their hunger (both for despair and domination over each other), in fact, but the writer digresses. To the Confed, ignorance is bliss, and free thought inevitably leads to despair as people contemplate how small they are in the grand scheme of things, and worse, rebellion. The future Baron believed all of it, and even took college classes in military tactics in case the Outer or rebels menaced his planet (and to make himself more appealing for promotion).
Then, almost by chance, he caught a glimpse at classified files on the Outer, and discovered that it's actually impossible for them to lie in their language due to the way it works.
Thus, when he came into the possession of a curse history book called The Antediluvian Codex, written in outer, he was torn between his impulse as a loyal Confed to destroy it and his impulse as a scholar to find out exactly what the Outer perspective was. Eventually the latter convinced the former that he'd develop insights he could use against the Greatest Enemy.
Outer is, as a language, based on thoughtforms and concepts embedded in superspace, and tied to the actual lettering. One has to know the general context of the information to avoid being completely blasted by the sheer mass of information in superspace and avoid being left both unconscious and at least partially amnesiac, without any information gleaned whatever. He did, and thus remembered everything he read, but the reaction was something he was later play off as a thankfully minor variation on non-comprehension.
Despite (or perhaps because of) being unbiased as the Outer could make it with their dismissive and callous views of all other life, what he found there utterly crushed him (which was likely the point, but oh well). The fact that demons were not creations of sapience's collective dark side, but the creations and servant force of the Titans, eager to serve faithfully whoever freed them back into rational space was only the first, but the sheer inhumanity of the Confederation's actions, combined with the ultimately cynical motivations for forming the Penitent Order of Solomon and sheer callous attitude towards life. Not to mention the rather pithy author's note that revealed the real reason the Outer didn't attack core Confederate worlds: "We have no need to tend to the crop any further."
Slowly, his broken faith in the Confederation transformed into loathing, but the feelings of loyalty were still extant-but fueled at something he did trust, the revolutionary (and infamous) demon-summoners known as the Malandanti and their cries for liberty, equality, and fraternity which suddenly gained a lot of credibility. He also began to steal grimories slated for destruction, and taught himself sorcery (specifically the subtle type) as he became a hidden supporter of the rebellion.
Of course, he didn't teach himself how to control it properly, so he suffered the unfortunate side effects of playing recklessly with superspace-you get concepts and symbols of things like "can fly", or "sharp claws" attached to your soul, and the universe takes...corrective measures to solve the disparity. Recognizing the slow growth of his wings and claws, Vetala quickly quickly made arrangements to flee to Malandanti space before anyone noticed and he was either executed for impurity or...confessed and sent to join the Pentients.
Suffice to say, he got out. Desperately wanting to be something more than a refugee, he submitted to the witch-pilot program, learned their variety of Summon Magic, and successfully was bound to a familiar. Later, after making quite the name for himself, he was introduced to the other members of the future Trimurti, Raziel and Dagran, through mutual interests in literature and a shared rune engineer, respectively, and decided to become a full "squadron of officers", greater than the sum of its already Badass parts
Glory to to the Malandanti. Liberate inferni ad liberandum omnes.
Relevant Tropes:
- A Father to His Men: When he works with actual sapient beings under him, anyway. The demonspawn are more like unmanned drones than anything, and Lilian can generate a nigh-unlimited amount given enough time and energy, so screw 'em, death by attrition it is.
- Anti-Hero / Anti-Villain Protagonist: Given that the Malandanti is essentially The French Revolution after getting a new paint job and pointers from the Forces of Chaos, he's this by default. More specifically, he's a clear Well-Intentioned Extremist quite willing to be amoral for the sake of the cause and to win glory for himself and his squadron (and thus himself, by extension).
- The Anti-Nihilist: The Confederation is a very religious society all around, and learning they were ultimately motivated by politics really soured him on the concept of divine purpose. He's since realized he doesn't actually care.
- Badass Bookworm / Cultured Badass: He took literature as his major, and it shows.
- Band of Brothers: Subverted. Raziel and Dagran only signed on for practical reasons, and find him and his ego annoying. I plan to doubly subvert it as Character Development sets in and he gradually becomes a nicer person, however.
- BFG: All familiars are contractually obligate to have one of these for shooting down Confed vehicles and starships as well as Outer invaders. His is the Demon of the Night Wind, which is meant to knock out communications and visibility due to shifting the target's perceptions into superspace. And, uh, blow holes in things.
- Broken Ace: He's smart, relatively handsome, a fantastic pilot, an expert in his area of magic, a cunning strategist, will be rich when he retrieves his property...and possesses an ego the size of a sun and his comrades hate him. He's also aware of this, and it stings him-he's only really now learning he has to be nice.
- Char Clone: The leader of an entire Power Trio of them, in fact! All the separate squadrons of the Malandanti's witch-pilots have to put something on their face and thus communication screen to tell which one they belong to, and for the Trimurti, it's masks styled after the Hindu gods who they share their name with, and each has a title they like to wave around. Dagran's a girl though.
- The Chessmaster: Why he's the leader-and about the only reason.
- Dark Is Not Evil: Let's be clear, his Humongous Mecha is a cyborg archdemon, and his wings and claws tend to freak people out. While he's not a nice man by any means, his goals are noble at least.
- The Dandy: Outside of Lilian, he takes every opportunity to groom himself and appear more impressive.
- Deadpan Snarker
- Dragon-in-Chief: As he and the Trimurti become more famous, he gradually becomes this to Cyrus le Thermidor, the leader of the Malandanti. Cyrus is also a Non-Action Guy Guile Hero who is just a politician, he doesn't have any combat skills apart from his ability to galvanize his forces.
- Good Wings, Evil Wings: Raven wings, to symbolize both his link to demons and his moral ambiguity.
- The Kirk: Mediates between Raziel's lack of emotion and complete sublimation into the goals of the Titan cult known as the Carnival of Revelation (who teamed up with the Malandanti on the basis of nigh-identical goals; they just think the Titans are actual gods rather than a race locked in the deepest parts of superspace), and Dagran's independence and tendency to follow her passions wherever they go (usually into fights).
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: As mentioned, a complete egotist and glory hound...who has a genuine love of the Malandanti's goals and genuine care for those people he knows, even if they are just "esteemed acquaintances" rather than "friends." He loses the jerk part over time as he learns to see past himself.
- Large Ham: Invoked. Again, trying to be impressive, and that usually means getting the attention on you.
- Let's You and Him Fight: Telling your enemies apart from your friends in a warzone is hard. Telling your enemies apart from your friends in a warzone where one enemy is a Master of Illusion who can and will disguise said enemies and friends as the other guy is harder.
- My Greatest Failure: Later on in the story, he finds that his parents and friend were killed for his escaping, when he believes it was quite possible to smuggle them out. He does not take it well, and the other Trimurti end up having to shake him out of it.
- Renaissance Man: See: his Abilities, and he's a connoisseur of art and especially literature.
- Right Hand Versus Left Hand: One of his favorite tricks is to induce this, either through illusions or cutting communications.
- The Social Expert: He knows how the Confed's society and even the Outer's work, and he's willing to use both against them.
- Stepford Smiler: He knows how unlikable he is, but honestly thinks he's supposed to be harsh, smug and superior, because that's what a noble is supposed to be in the Confederation. Doesn't really figure in until he learns of his parents' deaths mentioned above, at which point he becomes a full Type A and retreats into himself, acting abnormally nice and sweet until someone brings it up and he immediately leaves after insulting they who broached the topic. The Trimurti quickly catch on and corner him until he finally allows himself to have a nice cry about it.
- Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: Jonah Orcinus, a Confederation knight-pilot of one of their own mechs, a Paladin, who's actually a pretty nice guy, if cheeky. He also has the temerity to survive his mech being destroyed by Vetala and isn't fooled by his illusions, which really grates on him.
- Visionary Villain: A protagonist version. He dreams a world of liberty, equality, and fraternity for all, where the intellectual and the artist need not fear the censor and the Secret Police...and if you happen to be blocking that vision, that's really terrible fortune for you, isn't it?
edited 22nd Sep '13 9:49:48 PM by Leliel
What rises must fall, what falls may rise again.
Seems like this guy and he would get along. Most likely very well. I like him myself. He seems to reconstruct some tropes that were mostly left deconstructed, which I think is very important.
- Name: Vonh Seillund / Vonh Rubrenor
- Age: 18
- Personality: Vonh is one of my earliest heroes, and easily one of the most flawed. Despite his own reluctance to go on his journey, he forces himself to, in order to rescue his beloved Sera from Bael. He is very brave, but almost foolishly so, and tends to apply the solution to a problem that involves the most force being applied. He starts out, indeed, as a muscle-headed warrior, with his spells limited to the offensive kind. He feels that there is an impossible burden on him due to his destiny of becoming a "great Hero-King", and that he will never be able to live up to his hype. He tries to avoid situations that call for him to act like a King or partake in a legendary contest, as he feels certain each time he will fail. Despite his own wariness and uncertainty in these regards, he is a very vain young man when it comes to appearances and his "record" with women. He feels comfortable in mundane situations, and one can even see his entire demeanor change when he is called upon for greater responsibilities. As his character develops and his real parentage becomes evident, he starts trying to acclimate and become the man he has to be so as to liberate his homelands and reclaim his throne so as to effectively lead the Coalition in repulsing Bael and then, well, "I will cherish both the benefits and weights of the crown I will wear. I must. Or my people will suffer. I have responsibilities, which I did not ask for, but people are counting on me. I cannot leave them to fate, for she is callous."
- Appearance: Vonh is very tall, handsome and of a strong, muscular form, both from working at his father's shop, and from working as the village's chief hunter. He has golden blond hair cut short to his head, blue-green eyes (a trait commonly associated with Jerdians), and a single scar on his chest from where he was wounded prior to receiving Grimoire Seis' power. After receiving this power, he received very strong, durable and enchanted Dragon Armor that protects Vonh from fire and ice spells. Note that despite the armor being quite heavy - another swordsman says he cannot see how Vonh can go into battle in that - Vonh wears it around quite easily.
- Abilities: Entering a Compact with a YSD Shard gave him a much stronger body, capable of punching down massive trees, surviving falls from impossibly high in the air with only a few aches to show for it, and magic that is stronger than anything a Mage could naturally start off with. He has a Dragon-Sword, a powerful weapon which is actually his normal sword, but with the energies and blood of a dragon reforged into it. This sword can cut through even regular swords, though it cannot so easily cut through other Enchanted Arms.
- Weaknesses: Vonh's subtlety and sense of tact in a military situation is less than nil, and he prefers shows of power to discourage further action. He is at first really too brave for his own good, and frequently worsens a situation instead of bettering it with a full on charge. He tends toward being unstable and angry, often anxious over perceived failures, constantly yelling at himself that he could have done that better. His power set also comes with a reputation as The Dreaded, and makes him hated and feared the world over. Only Seillarch and Jerdia are not suspicious, mainly because of their Grim-Holder Prophecies, which border on religion. If he sees Bael, he also tends to forgo all reason and charge after him regardless of the situation, making him easily manipulable by the more intelligent, dangerous foe.
- Goals: At first, he just wants to get Sera back and return home and abandon all this King and Prophecy nonsense. After he sees Ser Kail give up his life for his safety, however, Vonh changes his goal, and desires to, for Kail's sake and "the sake of all others who would give their lives for me", he would regain his throne, and become the best King he could be.
- Motivation: At first, its a combination of revenge on Bael, wanting to save Sera, and Screw Destiny. Then, he decides to get creative with destiny in order to screw it out of what The Prophet (read; Wolfang) expected.
- Role in the story: Precursor Heroes / The Legendary Hero
- Backstory: Vonh's backstory is almost comically the "Epic Fantasy Chosen One Backstory". He was born to the King of Seillund and the sister of Jerdia's Emperor due to a scheme by a circle of sorcerers, and he was accepted by the King's wife as her child, in order to make sure that nothing could be suspected by a variety of powers on the watch for such a thing. However, the deception could not last; when Vonh was three, he was almost killed by horrible amorphous shadow things sent by Amatsu-Mikaboshi, who wanted to make sure Vonh was dead well before he could live up to the hype. That, and he found the hope Vonh would inspire later in life "nauseating". Vonh's father and a young squire named Yuvan Seillund fought off the horrors of the Eldritch God of Evil, establishing a bond of trust between them that comes into play later. Years later, Bael attacks Seillund by staging a False Flag Operation to give himself plausible reason, and aims to take Vonh and Evil Mentor him into becoming his own tool to use against Mikaboshi and his other rivals, such as Shadow. Yuvan takes the young prince from the palace in the dead of night, managing to evade Bael's men by posing as a villager. Vonh was raised by Yuvan in the Republic of Taldeim, and Vonh grew to adulthood thinking Soren was his real brother, and never guessing at his princely status. Yuvan gave him a medallion to wear to keep his magic from manifesting, which also functioned to put him off of Mikaboshi's and Bael's radar. Until one day, when he met an old friend of Yuvan, Kale, who gives Vonh a shard of the Yorian Separation Drive, which, when activated, eviscerates the medallion and sets Vonh on the path to either "Creation or Destruction".
- Relevant Tropes:
- Arch-Enemy: Bael / Balmunc, the psychotic general of Jerdia known as the Necromancer. After Bael went away, the title was divided between Gabren Daindred of Shard, and Shamshalg of the Gadrai Nine. Shamshalg - the odd gestalt of six of Vonh's more bastardly bastards - is considered the bigger threat...at first. Shadow Shadofang joins the list for abducting Jevan, faking his death and possibly-maybe-but not quite murdering said son's girlfriend. Then things get complicated.
- Averted with Mikaboshi. Vonh had utterly no respect for him, and treated the God of Evil and Chaos as a distraction.
- Awesome Moment of Crowning: Both when Vonh receives the Crown of Seillarch, finally triumphing over his evil aunt and her faction, and again when he received the Jerdian Crown.
- Boring Invincible Hero: Averted; despite his legendary reputation and prophecies, most of the battles he is recorded as having won were won by the skin of his teeth, and / or do not really feel like victories to him. He didn't even know if what he pulled on Mikaboshi worked. He also loses his first fight with Shamshalg.
- Character Development: Vonh goes through a lot of it, going from vain village-boy of little importance or intelligence to one of the most important figures in my works' history, a Hero-King so awe-inspiring, he's remembered an impossible amount of time later, in the millions of years later.
- The Chosen One: Actually called this once, and was selected in a dozen prophecies, at least one per country he visits.
- Cool Sword: Vonh's Dragon-Blade, and later, Hero-King's Blade and Legacy Weapon.
- BFS: The former is six feet long, impossibly heavy, and both edges are also incredibly hot, as it was enchanted to hold "the power of the sun".
- Laser Blade: Legacy Weapon, which has a normal hilt, but with four blades at each cardinal direction branching up and together around the head of a dragon which holds what looks like a bright blue lightsaber in its mouth, and when he draws the blade out, it sounds like a dragon roaring.
- Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?: He fights Primordial God of Chaos and Evil Amatsu-Mikaboshi...and wins. Matthew, Nagi and Michael have not had that much luck. Mikaboshi took in the neighborhood of sixty five million years to put himself back together after Vonh's finishing blow.
- Evil Counterpart: Balmunc, the younger version of Bael, who has many of the same abilities as Vonh, though with some...certainly esoteric ones mixed in, together with his old Bloody Murder abilities.
- Good Is Not Soft: Despite letting off those Jerdian Generals, Vonh doesn't step away from the uglier aspects of rule. And earlier, he reserves no mercy for the Sers of the Temple for enslaving any Mages found in Taldeim.
- Guile Hero: A role he grows into, out of being basically Dumb Muscle. At first, he is utterly outwitted most of the time by Bael. By the end, the utterly crazed Balmunc (Bael's new identity) falls for a gambit that ends with the maniac catapulted across space on a shard of Terra's moon.
- Heroic Lineage: The Line of Vonh, started with him and his many children, but officially continuing through Aevon, Jevan and Davan. In the present day, there are not as many left, but due to the Line's stranger properties, those left are incredibly powerful.
- Hot Dad: Vonh at 43 is not much different from Vonh at 18, except wearier looking, his hair's longer and combed better, and he wears armor fitting for a Hero-King.
- Mind Screw: Vonh's Grimoire is stated to speak in a tone that sounds like raindrops hitting the ground and playing a voice. The voice is described on another occasion as "having the color of blue sewn through its words".
- Precursor Heroes: Vonh's group; they left behind a lot of legendary artifacts and weapons for Matthew's team to play with, and occasionally have to deal with. Vonh's Dragon-Blade in particular, which is used as a MacGuffin to throw Nebiros' hellish legions back where they came from.
- Protagonist-Centered Morality: At first played straight, when he thinks nothing of fantasizing about slaughtering the Oligarchs of his home country and all who serve them, but later Defied; when one of Vonh's Ordo Praxia Knights dies in an enemy ambush, two other commanders advocate finding Ardol, the man who killed him, and torturing him to death for killing their dear friend. Vonh is livid, asks how this makes them any better, and this attitude even leads to Ardol making a Heel–Face Turn when Bael is far less forgiving for later failures.
- He also asks Soren to keep an eye on a notorious bandit who tries to join his forces. The bandit swears his...proclivities...are done with. When Soren sees the bandit about to plunder a town and blame it on the Jerdians, he shoots the guy dead with his Mana Crossbow and reports to Vonh.
- Then there's how he spares both Kovar Greybeard and Walter of Kinholt, key Jerdian Generals. He knew the two had not done anything wrong, and were just doing what they thought was right. This comes back later to greatly benefit him.
- Really Gets Around: And I do mean Gets Around. Like, damn...thirty or more bastards...
- Rogues Gallery: Includes; Bael / Balmunc, Gabren, Adrick, Mamon, Respu, Vasula, Cyclopean Cyddris, Shamshalg, Shadow Shadofang, and the rest of the Gadrai Nine.
- Sanity Slippage: Due to stress, bad dreams, having to kill people almost daily, and eventually Chains Of Command once his real family is revealed.
- Took a Level in Kindness: Corresponding with the authority he inherits, he becomes a nicer person once he realizes what's at stake, and that he cannot afford to alienate people with paranoia or excessive anger. Its even noted that he's truly smiling again.
- We Used to Be Friends: Vonh and Daindred; both grew up in the same town, both hunted together, they swore to be friends forever, and their Ho Yay was lampshaded by Yuvan claiming that he half-expected Vonh to "like" Daindred instead of Sera. Little did anyone know how envious Gabren was, and how Vonh's ignorance and arrogance pushed him into his later role. Then Bael's attack happened, Bael hannibalized Gabren, and abducted him too. Gabren learned a lot from Bael, who acted as Gabren's Evil Mentor until he tried to kill Bael as part of a plot, which was treated as "graduation". Gabren then left and became Lord-Tyrant of the Shardan Empire. From there, it became a moire of backstabbing, betrayal, and joining forced with Bael's New Necromancer Army to try to encircle and kill Vonh.
edited 23rd Sep '13 2:01:43 PM by NickTheSwing
rollin' on dubs
Vonh's subtlety and sense of tact in a military situation is less than nil, and he prefers shows of power to discourage further action. He is at first really too brave for his own good, and frequently worsens a situation instead of bettering it with a full on charge. He tends toward being unstable and angry, often anxious over perceived failures, constantly yelling at himself that he could have done that better.
Good idea, but if done wrong you can get a Relationship Writing Fumble or annoy the reader, see Jenkins, Leroy...
edited 28th Sep '13 6:23:09 PM by TairaMai
All night at the computer, cuz people ain't that great. I keep to myself so I won't be on The First 48
rollin' on dubs
“In a galaxy, where the United Earth Government has fought a civil war, losing several worlds to the Southern Cross and had a war with the Alien Cay Union, hope rides in a ship called Victory ” *cue theme music*
Here's another of the command trio of The Rival to the Victory:
Name: Wing Commander Allyus Pomaz
Age: 33
Personality: A curious alien, Allyus is the commander of the SCSS Amy Komori's Strike Wing.
Abilities:
- Genius Bruiser and Ace Pilot
- High-Speed Missile Dodge: able to take higher G loads than a human or a Cay
- Grease Monkey: He gets to know his fighter and has known when the Amy K has had drive problems before engineering does...
- Shapeshifting
- Grease Monkey: Likes to micro-manage engineering and the fighter mechanics.
- Manipulative Bastard: Willing to do whatever it takes to get what he wants. He won't betray his crew, other crews and other ships are fair game.
- Ishall Taunt You: Loves chatting with EDF pilots and ship captains over the radio, this doesn't work with the bio-androids and one in particular is a Deadpan Snarker called the “Steel Witch”.
- Rebellious Spirit / Chaotic Good: Type 2 more Good than Chaotic, unless pushed.
- Pride: The Dow have no concept of “self doubt” or “self pity”, this can come across as a large ego, while this isn't true for all of them, Pomaz has Pride and Small Name, Big Ego in spades.
- Pointy-Haired Boss: What the Admiralty feels would happen if he got a starship command. He's a good pilot but he tends to run roughshod over department heads. He needs to learn to delegate, trust the other department heads and avoid trying to do everything.
- Comes Great Responsibility: self centered and Mildly Military, tends to chafe at the responsibility of command but loves motivating his crew to get results. He just hates the paperwork that follows.
- No Transhumanism Allowed: his people were experimented on by “the Masters” so he dislikes biotechnology and hates Earth's bio-androids. The Byla'Dow can't outrun or outfight them so they scare his people.
Goals/Motivation: Wants to be a captain someday.
Role in the story: Ace Pilot and The Rival with Lt Cmdr Masaka for first officer and then a captain slot. It's a friendly rivalry they can call off when the shooting starts.
Backstory: The Byla'Dow are an alien species that has served many masters. Mostly "the Masters", the former rulers of the Martissans. After the Cay killed them off, they are now free. Some are spies and NCO's in the Cay Union Army. Many live in the Southen Cross. They are banned from Earth.
Allyus Pomaz was a convicted felon, a pilot for a group of raiders. He's flown starships since he was a teen. The courts gave him an option: military service or being Thrown Out the Airlock. Most convicts in the Southern Cross leave as soon as their term is up. Allyus liked being a crew chief for the SCMC and quickly applied for a slot at the academy.
He's had a rocky career. From raiders accusing him of being a traitor to run-ins with the EDF, he's had quite a few scrapes. He wants to clean up his act so he can be selected for starship command. Now the commander of the strike wing on the Amy K, he wants to be a first officer and then a captain.
Relevant Tropes:
- a Heavy Worlder Humanoid Abomination who has:
- Voluntary Shapeshifting
- Starfish Aliens: A tentacled alien that assume human shape
- Combat Tentacles: He likes fighting and has competed in several tournaments. When angry his people can fight toe-to-toe with the SCMC's cyber-soldiers and Cay Union Shock Troops.
- One-Gender Race by way of Hermaphrodite and Bizarre Alien Biology: But “he” is male. Most “choose” a gender to identify with other species. Some Byla'Dow change the “gender” they identify with later on in life.
- Bizarre Alien Biology: yellow blood and vunerable to fire.
- And the Dow grew pround: his people grew too comfortable working for the Masters, then the Cay arrived, they got used to the Cay and then the Humans arrived...
- The Dreaded: Bio-androids, pilots that never tire, never get scared and are faster and stronger than him...
- Trading Bars for Stripes: Gleefully joined the military because “they have the best toys and the fastest ships” and less breaking rocks.
- Aggressive Negotiations: His preferred method for dealing with Earth.
- Weapon Of Choice: Beam Spam, on away missions it's a good pistol
- Outranking Your Job: He would be a first officer if not for his lack of understanding of capital ship operations. Captain Veery paired him with LtCmdr Masaka so they can learn from each other. Pomaz will earn the big chair and Masaka will earn a command slot.
- Trickster Mentor: To LtCmdr Masaka, who's weak at fighter operations, Pomaz knows he needs to learn more about captial ship operations. He may prank his “boss”, but he's quick to share his experience with Masaka.
- The Prankster: A fighter piot tradition he's all to happy to embrace...
- Interspecies Romance: has had a few, like Masaka, unlike him, Pomaz is still single.
- Did Not Get the Girl: He doesn't like to talk about it...
edited 29th Sep '13 1:48:30 PM by TairaMai
All night at the computer, cuz people ain't that great. I keep to myself so I won't be on The First 48
He mostly develops out of it, but early on, he does come across as an annoying, entitled and cocky prick. Its meant to Decon-Recon Switch about the "Chosen One" Trope. Specifically, what happens if The Chosen One doesn't develop the exactly right, humble and peaceful personality.
However, as covered, getting one of his knights killed sets him straight on My God, What Have I Done? and overcoming that resulting despair and seeing where he needs to go lets him develop into a much more heroic person.
edited 28th Sep '13 8:27:52 PM by NickTheSwing
rollin' on dubs
~bump~
Lawful neutral
OK, former aircraft mechanic talking, but this guy is looking like one hell of a Pointy-Haired Boss. He wouldn't see himself that way, obviously, but pilots typically know a lot less about the "machine" part of "flying machine," and them trying to play maintainer IRL usually just winds up as a headache for the people whose job they're butting in on. (Maybe trusting his people to do their jobs properly without his input could be character development on his part?)
That said, I love the name "Steel Witch," and I'd like to hear more about the bio-androids. Not technically what you asked, but I figured I'd mention it.
rollin' on dubs
![[awesome]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/minis/award_star_gold_3.png "[awesome]"){kind=small}
I'm soo puting the PHB into that character... Thanks!
UPDATE: added.. thanks!
As for the Steel Witch, I'll get to her later.
edited 29th Sep '13 1:46:44 PM by TairaMai
All night at the computer, cuz people ain't that great. I keep to myself so I won't be on The First 48
Lawful neutral
It sounds like Pointy-Haired Boss is what he is now. I realize Officers Are More Glamorous, but going over department heads- even if you do technically outrank them- is a great way to sow dissatisfaction among the rank-and-file. Experts feel ignored, staff NC Os feel trivialized, and wrench-turners are stuck in the perennial what-the-fuck-does-he-want-this-time bad mood. He'd very quickly start running into white rebellion in the maintenance department- work orders he put in getting "lost," his ship constantly down on some technicality or other (and constantly getting shuffled to the bottom of the workload for reasons he never gets a straight answer on) and best of all, if he's that egotistical, he just won't get that all this is a reaction to his behavior. It could make for some comedy bits (Masaka: "Sorry your fighter's down." Pomaz: "How did you know that?" Masaka: "Educated guess.") Or if you wanted the dramatic angle, you could have him go undercover as one of the maintainers (shapeshifting powers are good like that) and getting a My God, What Have I Done? when realizes what his people actually think of him.
Then again, all the above might be wishful thinking on my part. As previously mentioned, this is a professional experience I've had and I obviously have a very specific view on the matter. Take from that what you will.
Street Writing Man
@Taira: Not being any sort of professional which applies, I can only say I like what you're rolling with there. And agreed that "Steel Witch" is a pretty cool nickname...cool enough that I bet there's some metal band out there considering calling itself that. :)
The following is a character for a sci-fi book that I am developing; it is still at the "make notes and have ideas stage" so I cannot really define it too well. It involves a scavenger economy, neo-feudalism (complete with a Church) and I plan on making the science decently hard. The basic plot concerns a pair of scientists researching lost technology. Here's one of them.
Name: Dr. Elizabeth Bennett
Age: 41
Appearance: Dr. Bennett does not look like anyone's idea of a scientist; instead she looks like someone on the giving end of a mugging. She is a little over five feet tall and made of stringy muscle, with a head of black dreadlocks and a face full of piercings. She has quite a few tattoos - not the pretty sort one gets at a shop but the crude ones done in prison or in an alley somewhere. Her eyes are somewhere between blue and green, and one of her front teeth is gold. Her right hand is a black polymer cybernetic implant - both her legs are similarly replaced as well, her left one to the knee and her right to the hip note.
Elizabeth favors sturdy military-surplus clothes and a leather jacket she made herself (complete with smuggling compartments), as well as a large knife worn "scout style" when she can get away with it. Like her jacket, the knife is homemade. *
Personality: Blunt and direct, but still articulate and well-spoken; while she may look and act like a savage her speech is as crisp and evocative as any Oxford don. She has no patience for anything having to do with traditional female gender roles (or as she puts it "all that socio-cultural silliness"). If someone calls her out on her behavior, she generally responds with a to-the-point statement regarding the illogical nature of things like modesty, propriety or sexual purity *. She does not do this to intentionally cause a stir; she's just ruthlessly pragmatic and that causes a stir all by itself.
Abilities: In an urban environment Elizabeth has survival skills enough to impress a sewer rat. She's also a competent - and vicious - knife fighter and can make a weapon out of almost anything. She is not in the least squeamish, even about things (cannibalism, rape, etc.) that would bother almost anyone.
Weaknesses: Obviously her peculiar behavior and outspoken ways get her into trouble a good deal *, as well as her habit of filching food and blatantly hitting on any attractive women who cross her path. While she does not pick fights, she won't shrink from them either...much to the distress of people who like to make threats they have no intention of carrying out. She also does not sleep well, due to some unfortunate occurrences in her past - see below.
Goals: Elizabeth is a scientist through and through...the discovery and dissemination of knowledge is her primary interest in life *.
Role in the Story: As a foil to her more naive and sheltered companion, a source of pragmatic wisdom, and a guide in certain areas.
Backstory: Most of her backstory remains a mystery throughout the book, but the bit that's important is her research trip to what is called the Brighton Pit - it's a hundred square blocks of what at one time was a thriving commercial district, but then six months of mechanized warfare ruined it. After the war, survivors from both sides ended up colonizing the rubble. By the time the local government got itself sorted out the Pit was a full-fledged urban jungle. They compromised by patrolling the edges and not letting people leave.
Elizabeth decided to explore the place fresh out of college * with the hope of "engaging" with the locals. She ended up getting more than she bargained for, and was trapped inside the Pit for a year. During that time she had a good many terrible things done to her - but at the same time did some pretty terrible things herself. She also discovered that in a century of isolation the people of the Pit had their own complete culture - a culture she chronicled in a book after she left the Pit. She refused to leave the culture behind when she left, seeing herself as an ambassador of sorts to the rest of humanity.
Relevant Tropes:
- Adventurer Anthropologist: She prefers hands-on study to book learning or lab work, and very much has a "damn the torpedoes" attitude when it comes to risky ventures.
- Ax-Crazy: what other people view her as. She actually is not.
- Butch Lesbian: Aside from her long dreadlocks, she's very much this.
- Crazy-Prepared: See the quote page below. She is described as always snagging food if it is available - either eating it or pocketing it - always having a weapon, and exploring any new environment she's put in.
- Deadpan Snarker: When anyone gets weirded out by her ways, she will make them feel stupid over it.
- Female Gaze: with Elizabeth, it's more "open and honest stare".
- Kavorka Woman: Though explicitly described as not being particularly attractive (though very physically fit, she's forty and looks it), Elizabeth gets a lot of action.
- Genius Bruiser: Looks like a gutter-punk, acts like a gang leader, talks like a professor.
- Knife Nut: Played with. While Elizabeth prefers knives and is skilled in their use, she does not fetishize them or fiddle with them the way other Knife Nuts do. If she draws a blade, that means either A: she needs it as a tool or B: Somebody's going to die.
- Le Parkour: She does free-running, both as a hobby and for its practical applications.
- Made of Iron: Elizabeth shrugs off injuries that would slow most people down...at one point she gets a tooth broken in a brawl, and when the other characters volunteer to take her to the dentist she responds with "give me a pair of pliers and some ice and I'll fix this myself."
- Dented Iron: in addition to scars and creaky joints from forty years of hard living, she also has the three implants - which ache abominably at times.
- Multiple-Choice Past: She has led a very interesting life, some bits of which are only alluded to.
- Noodle Incident: When asked about why she has the implants, her response is "A building fell on me." The circumstances are never explained further.
- Psycho Lesbian: Averted. Elizabeth is quite happy being gay and sees not a thing wrong with it. Other people don't agree - the social mores around her being what they are - but she does not care.
- Wretched Hive: the Brighton Pit, where she acquired her survival abilities.
Quotes
"I am not insane. What I am is pragmatic. You are in denial, and denial is an issue which wants therapy."
"Always have three things about you...a meal, a weapon and a way out."
"Survival in a hostile environment is a journey into what it really means to be human. Do not expect to like what you find."
edited 29th Sep '13 8:26:51 PM by drunkscriblerian
If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed. ~Cora M. Strayer~
rollin' on dubs
Military uniforms tend to get hot quickly, so I can see her cutting off or rolling up sleeves in the summer. The Dark and Troubled Past should come back to her. It's a fav trope of mine.
It's nice that you have a lesbian character who's not a Psycho Lesbian. Maybe we can start a trend!
All night at the computer, cuz people ain't that great. I keep to myself so I won't be on The First 48
Street Writing Man
@Taira: She generally wears fatigue pants and a tank top. If it gets cold, she wears her jacket. If it is hot, she goes without the jacket. If it gets hotter, off come the rest of the clothes until she's comfortable. Again, she doesn't give a damn. ![[lol]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/lol2v12_4863.png "[lol]"){kind=small}
Anyway, everyone in my story is a hero, but here's my protagonist:
Name: Fifi Jennings
Age: 17
Personality: Fifi's... off kilter. She has a tendency to get really obsessive over one thing to the point where she shows complete disinterest in everything else. If not currently obssessing over something, she'll just kind of apathetically float through life, not giving a damn about anyone or anything except her mother, who she does try to take care of. She's pretty terrible at interacting with people given that the two people in her life before the story begins have problems of their own and are otherwise weird, but when she later finds people that do show appreciation for her, she learns just how wrong she's been.
Abilities: Starts off with none, but later gains teleportation via One to Million to One, a bit of a weak Healing Factor via nanomachines, the ability to create sight-based illusions by bending light, proficiency with a kusari-gama, and technically Voluntary Shapeshifting as well, although she can't use it.
Weaknesses: Has to be in contact with both light and shadow to use her powers, so no using them in brightest day or blackest night. Electromagnetic pulses make it impossible for her to use any of her powers regardless.
Goals: Her goals change over the course of the story. She starts off following Leon Garrison's extradimensional extermination squad, who's job is to kill and cover the existence of everything that tries to cross over into our world. She's there because she loves Leon, it pays well, and Leon's constantly blackmailing her, so she has no choice anyway. Things change when she meets Grace, an alien from her world living incognito among humans. Grace is here to study humans so her race can open negotiations without conflict, and Grace wants her to get Leon to help, since Leon, being an immortal, has lived among humans for milennia. But she can't ask him directly because she knows what might happen if she does. Grace is right, and Leon is tasked by his superiors with killing Grace and her crew in order to expedite his own job and to keep the two races from being at each other's throats. Fifi, being caught between them, ultimately decides to join Grace and help prevent her death so eventually, humans and aliens can work together.
Motivation: At first, just love for Leon/ Only in It for the Money. Later it's The Power of Friendship/ For Happiness. She really does become good friends with Grace and her team over time.
Role In The Story: Naïve Newcomer->New Meat->The Mole/ Reverse Mole->Defector from Decadence->The Only One Allowed to Defeat You->Da Chief
Backstory: Fifi's father took his own life when she was about six years old, apparently dissatisfied with his life and the responsibilities he felt he just couldn't handle anymore. This drove Fifi's mother to drink hard and heavy, and for a time it seemed like mom had a different boyfriend or girlfriend in the house every night. None of this, as you can imagine, sat well with the parents of anyone in the suburban school she attended, so any kids she might have been friends with stayed well away from her. This made Fifi a desperate little girl; one of her most vivid memories was when she was around eight at a local playground where she found some kids that weren't running away on sight. She approached them, and it turns out that they just hadn't recognized her yet. She tried running after one of them, and chased him far away from the others until eventually he tried to jump from one high cliff to another and didn't make it. She climbed down to see why he wasn't running anymore, but he wouldn't say anything back to her... Once she got to high school, her reputation spread quickly, but she did finally meet one person that didn't care about her past: Samuel Maxwell. She quickly learned how paranoid he was, but for her, it was better than having no one. Even if he usually does most of the talking.
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edited 30th Aug '13 6:06:09 PM by DeviousRecital