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SGB Reviews
Sonic The Hedgehog Genesis Review
- Johnny started off the review with being optimistic, saying that the game is fantastic and had no clue why people hate it so much. One playthrough of the game later, and he slowly losing it.
- Johnny's fight with the possessed Sonic Hat (later revealed to be the Tails Doll).
- During the literal curb stomp Johnny and Elliot perform on the hat, they at one point start square dancing over it.
- And Johnny accidentally steps on Elliot's foot at one point.
- Elliot slapping Johnny and telling him to give his real thoughts on the game.
Sonic Unleashed Review (the old one)
- Johnny makes an incredibly goofy face while talking about his first reaction to seeing the Werehog.
- While discussing just how fast Sonic goes in this game, we see a montage of Sonic boosting through the game, coupled with images of Johnny flailing around in his chair.
- Johnny can't help but laugh at the image of Sonic potentially falling into the now-exposed core of the planet, complete with the caption "LOL The End" appears on the screen.
- This bit:Sonic: Uh oh, did I fall on him? (referring to Chip)Johnny: LAWSUIT!
- The reaction Johnny has upon seeing Chip go nuts over a dessert? A disgusted "No. No."
- For the Wii version, Elliot bursts into Johnny's room to ask if he'll do that one, interrupting Johnny's gaming session. The game Johnny's playing? Resident Evil 5.
- When Johnny says he doesn't like the Wii version, Elliot makes a face similar to Macauly Culkin in Home Alone.
- Elliot: I'll show you how to play it!
- While shoving the Wii Mote in Johnny's face.
- Elliot gets cut off from telling Johnny that he'll shove the Wii Mote up his ass.
- After realizing that their arguments really mean nothing in the grand scheme of things, Johnny and Elliot reconcile by playing Rock Band.
Resident Evil 5 Review
- As one would expect, Johnny is utterly bewildered at the sight of Chris PUNCHING A BOULDER!
- While discussing the story, there's an on-camera bit where Johnny's talking. His brother Mark can be seen playing the game in the background, and he just happens to overhear Johnny say that Jill Valentine is under Wesker's control and was the woman in the mask.Mark: What? It is? Oh man, fuck this shit!
- The "dramatization" of the AI character wasting all its ammo on a downed enemy. Good thing all the guns had infinite ammo.
- Showing off the alternate costumes, Johnny notes that the Warrior Outfit makes Chris look like a football player, so he shows Chris punching a boulder overlaid with a "DOWN! SET! HIKE!"
Superman 64 Review
- The Video Game Overlord bumping into Johnny's lamp as he tries to leave.
- Johnny pronounces the game's developers at "tit-us".
- "Everything should be fine now, just as long as I don't have to fly through anymore ((flies through rings)) RINGS!"
- Since Johnny figures he can do whatever he wants with his own videos, he rates the game a -64 out of 10.
Sonic and the Black Knight Review
- Johnny and Elliot arguing about the Wii Mote controls, with Johnny saying he looks like a jackass while fighting Merlina.
- The conversation at the end.Johnny: Can I PLEASE trade this game back in to Game Stop?Elliot: Shut up and give me the controller!
SonicR Review
No More Heroes Review
- The main theme is so catchy that Johnny figures it can go with anything, so he plays it over footage of him eating pizza and drinking soda.
New Super Mario Bros. Wii Review
- When the video begins, Elliot interrupts Johnny by jumping onto his back, so Johnny has to introduce the video while trying to throw Elliot off.
- Given that the case for this game is red, and most Wii games come in white cases, Johnny likens it to putting a red M&M in a bowl of rice.
- And now, the Super Gaming Brothers present: JOHNNY AND ELLIOT'S MULTIPLAYER MAYHEM! Highlights include:
- Elliot off-screening Johnny.
- The two of them losing their Penguin Suits to a Koopa.
- Elliot off-screening Johnny again, though this time it was as Johnny was trying to get a Starman.
- Johnny and Elliot try to beat a Koopa Kid. Hilarity ensues.
Elliot: Your witchy powers always win!- Elliot dropping Bowser into the lava, while Johnny's still on the bridge.
Mortal Kombat (1992) and Mortal Kombat II Review
- The end of the video shows a montage of Reptile getting his ass kicked in several of the Fatalities. The last thing we see is a screenshot of Reptile with the words In loving memory of Reptile. May whatever's left of him find peace in the Netherworld.
Contra Review
- Johnny admits that the only reason he's reviewing the series is due to the fact that it makes him feel like a real man.
- While all the games are notoriously difficult, Johnny thinks the SNES game is the hardest, saying "This game will KICK. YOUR. ASS. HARD!"
Mortal Kombat 3 and Mortal Kombat 4 Review
- After Elliot signs off, he randomly says "And support Ghostbusters." The end of the video is the credits screen with the Ghostbusters theme playing.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV Turtles in Time and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles The Hyperstone Heist Review
- The video begins with the song "Pizza Power" from the Coming Out of Our Shells Tour playing.
- One scene has Johnny throw a random Foot Soldier at the screen while chuckling "You bitch."
Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing Review
- Showing off some of the sound clips includes an edit for Eggman yelling Pingas and the end has Sonic yelling TERRIA!
Metroid Review
- The first use of the "SCREW ATTACK" shout, which Johnny responds to with a quick and simple "Stop that!"
- In fact, upon getting the Screw Attack:
- Johnny's over-the-top reaction to the Metroids.
- Johnny's reaction to the game's main plot twist:
- Johnny: *Gasp!* BOOBIES! Samus is a GIRL? WHAT A TWIST!
Metroid II: Return of Samus Review
- SCREW ATTACK!
- Will you stop that!
- Johnny starts the boss fight with the Queen Metroid... by ignoring her completely.
- Johnny absolutely melts at the sight of the baby Metroid, before saying that if Samus was the first thing he saw upon birth then he'd die of shock.
Super Metroid Review
- This time, the Screw Attack shout waits until AFTER Johnny mentions the power-up.
- As the enlarged baby Metroid is draining Samus's health, Johnny yells out "I'm too purple and badass to die!"
- TASTE THE RAINBOW, MOTHERFUCKER!
- The song that Johnny plays over the self-destruct sequence is interrupted by Johnny stopping by to rescue his little animal buddies.
Metroid Fusion Review
- Elliot randomly pops in, causing Johnny to yell in surprise.
- Johnny and Elliot dancing to the boss battle theme.
- Johnny refuses to announce when he gets the Screw Attack, because he knows he'll be interrupted, so he tells Elliot that people can read the screen. When Elliot points out that not all of his viewers might read English, Johnny gives in...only for nothing to happen. This causes Johnny to fly into a fit of rage.
- The shout finally comes when Johnny's facing off against the Omega Metroid at the end of the game.
No. No! (SCREW ATTACK!) NO! - When Elliot interrupts Johnny at the end by yelling about them doing Metroid: Zero Mission next, he accidentally knocks over the camera, which leads to this conversation:Johnny: Get away from the damn camera!Elliot: I wanna be in more videos!Johnny: Then go make some, you lazy ass!
- This.Johnny: *Death Glare*
Metroid: Zero Mission Review
- The self-destruct sequence has Johnny and Elliot singing "Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now", along with Johnny getting stuck behind a slow-moving robot.
- Many fans noted that this is the only Metroid review to not feature the Screw Attack yell before Johnny killed the fucker doing that. Maybe the guy just needed a break?
- Mentioning the Unknown Item music and how it can bump up the drama of any given situation, Johnny and Elliot perform a skit where the music plays over the revelation that there's no more Pepsi in the house.Johnny: Hey, can you go grab me a Pepsi?Elliot: John, we've been out of Pepsi for a week.Johnny: *stares dramatically while Unknown Item music plays*
Sonic the Hedgehog Review
- Johnny and Ryan argue about who should do the Month of Sonic. After a bit, they decide to do it together.
- Johnny inserts a clip from Robot Chicken, showing Sonic running over a spike trap. Which was in response to a creepy Japanese advertisement for the game.
- The short animation from Johnny while talking about Scrap Brain Zone.Motobug: Which one?Robotnik: EVERYONE!
- Ryan's narration at the end, which Johnny interrupts to question just what the hell Ryan's doing.
Sonic the Hedgehog 2 Review
- So, does anyone know what Elliot was going to do with that ladle?
- So what's Johnny's reaction upon seeing Slicers? "I HATE SLICERS"! Including a montage of Slicers attacking him, ending with a particular scene from Scanners.
- When discussing Oil Ocean Zone, Elliot wonders what would happen if a lit match fell into the oil. Cue an animation of Sonic doing just that, complete with the world blowing up. According to some fans, it looked like Sonic pulled that match out of his ass.
Sonic CD Review
- While showing off the secret images, he makes fun of Sonic's notorious Broken Base:SONIC HAS GRAY EYES?! RUINED FOREVER!!
- In fact, many of the secret images are worth a chuckle, including one that, according to Ryan, makes it look like Sonic's trying out for Dragon Ball Z, a bunch of Sonic bodies with Mario heads on them, and Sonic as a rapper with Metal Sonic as the DJ.
Elliot: The fastest DJ alive, McSonic.Johnny That's "M.C. Sonic", Elliot. - The beginning of the review has Johnny watching the Sonic OVA intently, while the ending has him shocked that Sonic just leaps off the level, complete with that creepy as hell Game Over music.
- Johnny animates a bit with Robotnik arguing about rebuilding the Death Egg with Metal Sonic, all set to audio from Robot Chicken.
Sonic the Hedgehog 3 Review
- The return of the Metroid Zero Mission Unknown Item tune when Johnny activates the Level Select.
- Speaking of the Level Select, Johnny's attempts to access it, complete with Elliot and Ryan trying to "give him support".Elliot: We had pancakes; you owe me for this! And Ryan, you shut up!
- Johnny won't be having the review interrupted by Duane and Brando's Knuckles Rap.
Sonic & Knuckles Review
- FLICKY ARMY OF DEATH!
- When discussing the music, Johnny and Elliot start playing DJ Hero, while Ryan's Mario doll starts bopping its head. Upon seeing this, Ryan punches the doll off-screen.
Sonic 3D Blast Review
- Johnny's opinion of 3D: "This shit doesn't work."
- Elliot barges in to see what Johnny's playing. Upon learning it's Sonic 3D Blast, he instantly turns around and leaves.
The End of Month of Sonic 2
- Johnny and Elliot can't help but notice they're doing the same thing they did before, just in different clothes.
- When Johnny starts putting all the Sonic games together, Ryan utters "Think of the children!"
- Sonic 3 CD and Knuckles and Knuckles.
- Even funnier since someone actually made a fangame out of it.
- Johnny realizes that he forgot to plug in the Game Genie, even though Ryan's protesting by saying "Didn't you break the game enough already?" Johnny doesn't listen, and plugs in the Game Genie, giving them access to Sonic 4 Episode 1.
- When they access Sonic 4 Episode 1, Elliot dons a pair of sunglasses to play it. Look closely, and you'll see that those are the 3D glasses Johnny used in the Sonic 3D Blast review.
Metroid Prime Review
- As Johnny says that Elliot won't join him for this one since he's never beaten Metroid Prime, we see Johnny show the game to Elliot, only for Elliot to push Johnny off-screen.
- Johnny shows some relief that the Screw Attack isn't in this game, meaning that that annoying echo won't pop up to interrupt him. Guess what happens. All Johnny can do is let out a frustrated sigh.
Sonic The Hedgehog 4 Episode I Review
- Before the game came out, Johnny and Elliot did an April Fools review, which not only had them say that Goro and Nemesis were in the game — by way of their models being copied and pasted — but they also included a very convoluted way to get the good ending, which apparently included taking a massive dump in the kitchen sink.
- Complete with footage of Mark walking past said sink and reacting in shock.
- There's also something about a toaster.
- During the end, Johnny and Elliot start laughing at the absurdity of it all before saying "April Fools, everybody."
- For the review itself, Johnny questioning why Tails doesn't appear but a rocket with his logo does.
- While discussing Eggman's Pinch Moves, one of them ends up doing a certain spinning attack, which Johnny calls attention to, which leads to him being interrupted by a certain shout.Johnny: Is he doing the Screw Attack?Random Voice: SCREW ATTACK!Johnny: GAAAAAH!
- Pausing the video at one point to ask "Why is that speed booster there?"
- When discussing Mad Gear Zone, he's unnerved by the unholy trio of Metropolis Zone and especially loses it upon encountering Slicers again... only to mention that since Sonic has the Homing Attack in this game, they're nothing to worry about anymore.
Metroid: Other M Review
- There's something oddly humorous about Johnny smacking his head against the wall over the Varia Suit fiasco.Johnny: What. The. FUCK?!
- Everyone other than Anthony and Adam is named "Name Not Important".
- For once, the Screw Attack yell is interrupted due to being not authorized by Adam.
- Comparing Ridley to a Pokémon.Johnny: Yes, this thing (referring to a cute little critter) evolved into Ridley. Wow, that is some kickass Rare Candy.
- Speaking of the little critter that eventually becomes Ridley, Johnny compares it to the result of a one night stand between a Moogle and a Chocobo.
Saw Review
- Johnny mistaking Jigsaw for Jeff Dunham.
- This is followed by Johnny and Elliot thinking that Jigsaw wants to play all their video games, as well as thinking that "A game for your lives" means that he wants to play Life.
- Johnny's frustration at the game's terrible mechanics, like trip wires and gas line puzzles, which eventually leads to him saying he's not going to play the game anymore and doesn't care if Jigsaw wins.
- After Johnny and Elliot figure out that Jigsaw is really Tails Doll, Mark comes in as Johnny and Elliot get ready to fight him and after seeing Tails Doll on the TV, simply shrugs his shoulders and turns off the TV. This is lampshaded by Elliot.Elliot: That was anti-climactic.
- The outtakes feature things like Johnny and Elliot flubbing their lines, Mark using two game cases for the clap board, and Mark's goofy as hell laughing face at one point.
Sonic Colors Review
- Johnny smacking the Sonic Team logo for not giving Sonic his natural moveset and instead relegating moves like the Spin Dash and Lightspeed Dash to Wisp power-ups.
- "This amusement park was built out of a sense of remorse for my past transgressions and is in no way related to any evil plot or premeditated misdeeds."
Johnny vs. the World (Season 1)
Super Mario Bros. Review
- Johnny questioning if Mario commits murder everytime he breaks a block. See here
.- Becomes a Brick Joke when repeated in the Super Mario Maker review.
- Becomes a Brick Joke when repeated in the Super Mario Maker review.
Super Mario Bros.: The Lost Levels (aka the Japan Mario Bros 2) Review
- Johnny hates this game so much he decides to turn on CENSORED MODE.Johnny: Okay, let me try it out. *bleep*! Okay, good.
- His theory of why the game was denied for America & Europe release? BECAUSE THE GAME WAS DEVELOPED BY SATAN HIMSELF!!
- He also added if there was an award for the most obnoxious Difficulty Spike in a sequel, the game would win it 3 years in a row.
- Johnny giving out a Big "NO!" (complete with footage of him shouting it at the TV) when it seemed he hit a dead end only to find an hidden block that allows him to proceed.
- Finding out that the Hammer Bros actually move toward you in this game.
- Footage of his constant failures and struggles with the game. At one point he finds himself stuck in a narrow space with a black shell koopa heading for him. He starts hopping up and down and by pure luck hits the Koopa's hitbox saving himself.
- "The mushroom... killed me? But I thought we were... friends."
- It's funny, if a little sad, but Johnny almost says "The Super Gaming Brothers" at the end of the video, before realizing that that title won't work anymore.
Super Mario Bros. 2 USA Review
- Johnny briefly forgets that CENSORED MODE is still turned on. After "turning it off":Johnny: Fuck-fuckity-fu-fu-fuck...
- While fighting FryGuy, Johnny plays the Benny Hill music to sped up footage.
- Since the Dream Machine is not only the source of Wart's power, but also the only thing that can kill him, and he keeps it in the same room, Johnny concludes that the only reason he doesn't appear in any Mario games after this one is because he's the walking definition of "dipshit".
Super Mario Bros. 3 Review
- While discussing the worlds, Johnny decides that Sky Land was given its name because the developers were running out of time, and Ice Land is summed up as "Ice Land is slippery; fuck this world."
- Pipe Land's music sounds like something someone listens to when they get high, so Johnny makes a short animation of Mario doing just that.
- As Johnny notes that Mario jumping with a Star Man looks familiar:Johnny: Huh. Kind of looks like a Screw Attack.Random Voice: SCREW ATTACK!Johnny: Alright-alright, I kinda ran into that one... But who keeps saying that?
Super Mario World Review
- Johnny proposing several variants of the Special Stage names: "Bodacious", "Radical", "Cowabunga", and "Bitchin'".
- Johnny's reaction to Bowser's castle having a back door.Johnny: You — you moron! You idiotic, illogical, oversized, stubborn dipshit! Why?! Why would you have something like this here? I — I'm at a loss for words; I thought Wart was the King of Jackasses by having something that kills him inside his own room, but Bowser! I mean....My God. You know what, I'm not even gonna go through this back door, I'm gonna go through the main entrance. I'd feel like I'm picking on the mentally disabled if I went through that door.
- Any time Chargin' Chuck appears, Gilbert Gottfried shows up to scream "WHAT AN ASSHOLE!!!"
- Upon seeing a Banzai Bill, Johnny asks the developers if they can make them a little bigger next time. Cue the King Bill from the Wii game.Johnny: SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!
Metroid Prime 2: Echoes Review
- Dark Samus entirely misses the shot at her original self. Cue Wario's soundbyte "D'oh, I missed!"
- Samus herself keeps the gun pointed at the player in one scene.Johnny: Always the careful one she is...
- "SCREW ATTA-" "Shut. Your FACE!"
- The Light Suit looks quite goofy for Johnny. Especially kneecaps.
- Referring to Metroids from the previous games as Demonic Spiders. Leading to this meta-comment:Johnny: Yeah, it's a bit of TVTropes lingo there - but Goddammit, that site is awesome!
- Samus gets blasted by something, which causes the framerate of the game drop considerably. Cue Johnny himself appearing in black-and-white filter with the similarly lagging camera:Johnny: My God, it can attack the fourth wall!
Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing Review
- Elliot's introduction shows that not only does he have hair now (the last time anyone saw him in Month of Sonic 2, his hair was still short), but is also the first use of the guest star title cards. Elliot also does a silly little pose while the main theme of Super Smash Brothers Brawl plays.
- Elliot slaps Johnny's hand away when Johnny touches Elliot's hair.
- At the start of the review, Johnny mentions an old video where he and Elliot destroyed the game and roasted hot dogs over its flaming corpse, only to discover that the game is still on his computer. Johnny likens it to a homeless bum who won't leave a convenience store.
- You can tell that the brothers' hatred towards this game is not forced, even when Elliot's praising the fact that the trucks can transcend the speed of light while going backwards.
- After Elliot's read the description of the game, Johnny already losing it.Johnny: LIES! FUCKING LIES!!Elliot: Yes, John. Relax! The game hasn't even started yet.
- Johnny's anger is compounded with the words he's saying being overlaid on the screen in big red letters.Johnny: So without a moving opponent, THAT MEANS THERE'S NO FUCKING RACE! So the entire concept of the game is completely SHOT IN THE ASS!
- Johnny compares the out of game boundaries to a white void that even Exdeath would call paradise.
- During one of the on-camera parts, Johnny's talking about how Superman 64 is a much better game than Big Rigs. Next to him is Elliot, who's texting. Without missing a beat, Johnny turns to Elliot and asks: "How's that phone, by the way?"
- This phrase gets into Running Gag territory for the future Let's Plays.
- The ending credits provide this gem:Big Rigs is copyrighted to Who Gives a Fuck
Batman: Arkham Asylum Review
- As he's discussing the Riddler trophies, we hear The Riddler himself chastise Johnny, asking if he's looking up the location of the riddles and trophies on the Internet. Johnny quickly denies this, before turning around and going back to GameFAQs.
- One fight scene has the 1960s theme playing. Johnny also edits in the sound effects, which include Boosh, Pow, and Queef.
Castlevania Review
- Johnny's excuse for the Belmont-Dracula feud since the lore for the series hadn't been established yet? Dracula borrowed the family's lawnmower and never returned it, so Simon is going on a rampage to teach him a lesson.
- Johnny wonders: what the Hell are the blueprints of Dracula's castle? Cue the Castlevania Concept Sketch — which is a Tic-Tac-Toe board with "Needs More Candles" written in the corner.
- Along with a random pot roast on the side.
- After mentioning that Simon can replenish his health via said pot roast hidden in a wall:Johnny: Just look at the thing: it looks fucking delicious.
- "Die, motherfucker!" Said to Death himself.
- "Well, it seems that Simon can get pretty well-equipped for this adventure, this game is probably a breeze..." No. No...
- "Let me put it bluntly: Castlevania... is hard. Fucking hard."
- "Well, what causes it to be hard? Is it the enemies? The level design? The controls?" The answer: "All of the above."
- "And sometimes, shit like this can happen: *cue Simon falling off the staircase on the way to Dracula* What the fuck?"
- Calling Simon's walking "The Belmont Strut" for the first time.
- Commenting on the name Mix Shrecks by saying that it feels like Count Orlok practicing his DJ business, complete with a picture.
Castlevania II: Simon's Quest Review
- Johnny shows off the three boss fights: he walks past Death... twice, easily whips Carmilla, and Dracula himself stands no chance.
- After getting a piece of Dracula's body:Johnny: Can I just whip the fucking thing and prossess the piece that way?
- While waiting for the game to change from night to day, Johnny takes a drink of Dos Equis, explaining that he's not a big fan of Rolling Rock.
- In fact, the whole video is like a huge Shout-Out to the Nerd, considering that not only this game is the first that Nerd done a review on, but Johnny himself admits to being directly inspired by his work.
- Upon seeing hearts as currency instead of ammunition, Johnny questions if Kano is stealing both his opponents' hearts - as well as their wallets.
- "During the night, the enemies take more hits to kill, and Simon becomes a werehog- I mean, never mind..."
- "The bad ending is better than the normal ending! What the shit?"
Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse Review
- Johnny surmises that the reasons the main character was named Trevor in America instead of the original Ralph is because Ralph isn't as cool of a name as Trevor.
- "Good ol' pot roast in a wall. Dracula can be quite random..."
- Upon noting that players can choose their path after completing the first stage:
- His utter glee that Grant can control his jumps in mid-air.
- After playing as Alucard and using his Balls of Destruction, he comes to realize it's the worst attack in the game and sums it up as: "Bleh... I mean, blah..."
- This game is HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD!
- One of Dracula's forms reminds Johnny of a demonic Exeggcute.
- Johnny is caught off-guard when Dracula's third form causes the floor to move. His surprised exclamation of "Whoa!" is perfectly timed with Sypha suddenly dropping off-screen.
- At the end, Johnny uses an emulator to show some footage of the Japanese version. He owns the Famicom version, but not an NES-Famicom converter... until Too Many Games 2015 when Elliot just dropped one in his lap.
Super Castlevania IV Review
- Killing the Mummy with a "Taste my limp whip, vile fiend!"
- Once again, Johnny expresses his glee at being able to control his jumps in mid-air.
- The return of an old nemesis: Knockback.
- "Hell, even the fucking tables attack Simon! Furniture as enemies, hm..."
- Whenever Johnny hits the Rock Monster, he says "Ow!" as the screen flashes.
- Having a hard time with Slogra - the first boss of the Boss Rush.Johnny: Jesus Christ, this fucking bird-man always gives me the red ass!
Castlevania: Bloodlines Review
- The reason Belmonts don't appear in this game, according to Johnny? Dracula finally returned the family lawnmower and has no hard feelings toward them.
- While showing off Eric's Super-Jump, Johnny ends up nearly sandwiched between a gear and a wall before leaping out of the way.Johnny: Super Jump, indeed!
- "Die, zombie!" Cue Ludicrous Gibs.Johnny: Holy shit...
- On that note, Castlevania: Bloodlines is rated GA (General Audience). Even if it is the bloodiest entry in the classic Castlevania series.
Johnny: Damn... we were pretty hardcore in the 90's! - This:Johnny: What a stellar-looking statue- *whips its head off* Fuck you, Michaelangelo, I'm John Morris!
- "Anti-gravity platforming in my Castlevania?"
- The Sega Genesis sound chip makes Johnny think that the soundtrack itself busts out wet farts.
- The final form of Dracula has a mouth for a crotch. A mouth that spits fire...Johnny: Yeah, you might wanna get that looked at...
- "Wait: tomorrow is November 1st! You know what that means!" *Looks at a Sonic Generations poster* "Uncharted 3 is coming out tomorrow!"
Johnny vs. the World (Season 2)
Sonic Generations Review
- Referring to Sonic's birthday cake as a Birthday chili dog.
- Upon saying that the Modern Era section of the game contains Crisis City Zone:Johnny: Jesus Christ, it never fucking ends!
- This tidbit about the Egg Dragoon fight:Dr. Eggman: Time for a change of pace!Johnny: Wanna play the Drinking Game? Take a shot every time Eggman says that line during the fight. You will think you had 12 fingers, 3 nipples and 2 dicks by the time you're done!
- This standout example before the Time Eater fight:Classic Tails: Dr. Robotnik!Classic Eggman: Nobody calls me that anymore.Johnny: You'll always be Dr. Robotnik to me, you fat piece of shit...
- When Johnny talks about the music, the "Pingas!" can be heard several times.
- When Johnny shows off the 30 Second Trials, he shows that he managed to beat out none other than Clement, complete with a "Take that, Clement!" This spawned a series of videos where the two of them tried to one-up the other in Classic City Escape, which eventually ended with Johnny's laugh.
- At the end of the review, Elliot reminds Johnny of his second Sonic Interview cartoon, which Johnny promises to be out by Christmas, which didn't happen due to reasons. When Johnny makes that promise, Elliot throws the box for Sonic Genesis (GBA) at his head and commands Johnny to "Get back to work!"
Sonic The Hedgehog 4 Episode II Review
- Dr. Eggman revives Metal Sonic with "The Power of Pointing".
- While Johnny is happy that Episode 2 got rid of the wonky physics, he still gets riled up at a large amount of springs and speed boosters...
- Describing one of the team-up attacks as "The 69 Attack".
- Mentioning the Death Egg Mark 2...Darth Vader: What?!
- Since Johnny dropped the ratings starting with this video, he's not sure how to end it...Johnny: ...yeah, that Metal Sonic figure is still fucking awesome! And this Sonic's figure is too not bad, too - although his head is way too fucking heavy, I can't never stand it upright! *Figure falls off* Goddammit...
Dragon Ball Z: Budokai Review
- "Piccolo's Mako... Makenko... Make... Oh, the Hell with it..."
- One scene has two Android 17s just smacking their heads against each other.
- The way capsules are unlocked during cutscenes shows that it tends to get in the way of the mood of certain cutscenes, even creating Mood Whiplash in the process. He uses the scene where Trunks is killed by a stray Death Beam from Cell, followed immediately by a notification popping up saying he unlocked Cell. Johnny then gives a silly thumbs up.
- Johnny admits to nearly breaking out into a fit of laughter at how hammy many of the characters are in the Story Mode - the crowner being Cell's wonderfully operatic "TIME TO DIIIIEEEEEE!" before firing his Kamehameha at Gohan.
- Similarly, there's Frieza's "KEEEEEYYYYY! Pidgey!"... as well as Captain Ginyu's "Milky Cannon!" attack.
- Johnny is about to end the episode, and in all of a sudden he gets interrupted by several random voices at once: "Review Metroid Prime 3 already!" And that happens twice.
Metroid Prime 3: Corruption Review
- Before Johnny can even get to the game, Elliot hijacks the video via Skype and reminds Johnny about Metroid Prime Hunters and Metroid Prime Pinball - the latter of which he somehow manages to throw through the TV.
- On a meta note, many viewers claimed to have tried to answer a Skype call when Elliot appeared, due to using the Skype ringtone.
- Johnny gives quite the "creative" nicknames for characters of Metroid Prime Hunters: "Name Not Important" (Weavel), "Who Cares?" (Noxus), "Whatever..." (Trace), "Fuck All!" (Spire), "Empty Space" (Kanden). Strangely, Sylux retains his name - probably because "everyone likes this asshole the most".
- Upon noticing a copy of Samus, Johnny quickly prepares to blast it with the NES Zapper...Admiral Dane: Gandrayda, enough!*cue Gandrayda reverting herself back to normal and giggling*Johnny: Ah... bitch!
- Dark Samus easily dispatches the Bounty Hunters... but Samus herself evades the shot. Once again, the soundbyte "D'oh, I missed!" is heard in the background.
- "Ah... you can almost taste that radiation..."
- "SCREW ATTA-" *loud gunshot*
- Johnny gets a bit loud when discussing the motion controls:PRESS THOSE KEY CODES! SHOOT THOSE TARGETS! TWIST THAT PANEL! CALIBRATE THAT PANEL! SHOOT THAT SPECIFIC ENEMY! RIP OFF THAT PANEL! AGAIN. AGAIN. AGAIN. ... ... ... AGAIN. PUMP THAT SUM'BITCH UP!
- Johnny addresses Samus' status as a Heroic Mime. He even tries to give her some speaking lines during Ghor's corruption. The result, needless to say, is hilarious:Johnny (as Samus): Hey, stop that! Get away from him, come on...
Pokémon Generation One (Red, Blue, and Yellow) Review
- Johnny's utter bafflement that people in the Pokémon world can't leave their house because of a few blades of grass.
- Lavender Town, home to Severe Mood Whiplash!
- When it's time for the battle against Giovanni, a Johnny-animated version of Red pumps a shotgun.
- Johnny's reason why Pikachu would become the mascot of the entire Pokémon franchise:Johnny: BECAUSE IT'S SO GODDAMN CUTE!!
Pokémon Stadium Review
- The only minigame Johnny actually enjoyed was the Magikarp minigame, if only because of how hilariously morbid it is.
- "Did Flareon just shakes its ass at me? Did Nidoqueen just shake her assets?"
- One scene has a very bored looking Johnny just pressing the buttons on the controller.
Pokémon Trading Card Game Review
- When discussing how he got Metal Gear Solid by trading a Pokémon card, Johnny accidentally calls Kangaskhan "Genghis Khan".
- During Ryan's memories with the game, clips of a card game between Johnny and Matt are inserted. At one point, Johnny knocks over the table and starts (fake)punching Matt.
- Matt's comments at the end of the video:Now that we're done with this, can we get back to Yu-Gi-Oh!?
Pokémon Snap Review
- His imitation of Professor Oak.
- Johnny's yelp of horror just before he's run over by a Rapidash.
- Ted's appearance at the end, via Skype.
- During the argument about why Ryan gets to join Johnny and Ted for Generation II, Ryan responds, "I have three Ancient Mews; you doubt my credibility?"
Pokémon Generation Two (Gold, Silver, and Crystal) Review
- Ted and Ryan won't let Johnny start the review because they're too busy badgering him about the Month of Pokémon going a week past its deadline.Ted: I didn't know this was the Month PLUS ONE WEEK of Pokémon.
- When Ryan mentions the day-to-night cycle:Johnny: Does the player become a werehog?
Ryan: No, John, he does not become a werehog!
Johnny: OK, good. - This bit:Ted: So, what name are you gonna give this ass?
*Johnny types THISASS in Rival's Name? menu*
Ryan: Oh... classy. - The argument about Bugsy's gender which concludes with this:Johnny: Fuck it! Bugsy has Bug-type Pokemon at its disposal.
- Johnny is easily annoyed by some of the whining from Ted and Ryan. Both guests are equally annoyed when Johnny easily owns Whitney's Miltank and Morty's Gengar, starts killing the Roaming Legendaries, and spends extra time raising a second team (consisting of Pokémon like Tyranitar and Dragonite). All of which fills Johnny's delight.
- Once John ends the review (and with it his Month of Pokémon, since he hasn't played Gen III), Ted suggests a month of Kirby. Johnny laughs off the requested franchise as undeserving of reviews, angering Ted into wanting a battle with Johnny (he even gets the exclamation point that appears above Trainers looking for a battle). Johnny refuses until Ryan impatiently urges him, and the two trade Bring It phrases before starting their battle.
Batman: Arkham City Review
- "Every time this guy (Hugo Strange) appears on the screen, the word DUMBASS is just illuminates on his forehead to me."
- Complete with the word "Dumbass" doing just that.
- Johnny starts off trying to speak with an impression of Christian Bale's Batman voice, but goes into a coughing fit after a few seconds.
- Johnny doesn't exactly know how to pronounce Ra's al Ghul's name, so he just settles to call him Mr. al Ghul.
- Speaking of the DUMBASS comment above, someone took count of how many times Johnny said that particular word in this review, and got well over 20. It gets to the point where every other word out of Johnny's mouth in this review is "dumbass".
- This:Johnny: The word "mook" was uttered 11 times during that last paragraph. And don't ask me to count how many times I said "Pokémon" during "Month of Pokémon"; I can't count that high!
- Someone did, and they counted Johnny saying "Pokémon" over 120 times.
Sonic Adventure Review
- Johnny's dumbfounded reaction to Big's texture glitching out.
- While talking about how Big and Gamma really don't contribute to the story, he shows a scene of Tikal talking to Big, with Big's thoughts being the Trololo guy.
- In the Sonic Heroes LP, he admits that he wanted to use a scene from SpongeBob SquarePants (specifically the live action shot of a carton of milk tipping over), but couldn't find the appropriate scene.
- When talking about how Sonic pretty much conked out while Tikal was showing him the past in the Last Story, Johnny shows Tails and Knuckles' point of view which shows Sonic just staring off into space and going derp-eyed.
- After the credits, while Johnny's practicing introducing the next game, Elliot suggests he should pull it from behind him so it looks like he has a magical ass. Johnny goes with it.
Sonic Adventure 2 Review
- The review starts off playing the "Light Side Story" trailer (Which, in-game, you only see if you clear the Dark story first). After the "Farewell, Sonic... forever." line, Johnny stares on for a moment before glancing over at a table that is laid out with every physical Sonic game (barring the Mario Olympic crossovers and Heroes, but including Shadow the Hedgehog, compilations and the re-releases of Adventure 1 and 2) put out after SA2 upto the release of the video (up to Generations).
- Johnny spends about a minute pointing out problems with Eggman's plan, wondering how a genius like him could make such mistakes. The video then cuts to a scene in Sonic & Knuckles where Eggman blows up his own base trying to destroy Sonic with a laser. Johnny responds: "Okay, you've made your point."
- When Eggman blows up the moon, Johnny shows two different reactions — one is the general audience reacting with shock, the other is a longtime Sonic fan laughing and drinking his soda.
- Towards the end of the review, his final notes are interrupted by the loud buzzing noises his Dreamcast is making, so he decides to switch over to the Gamecube port, SA2 Battle. He doesn't get more than a few seconds into the opening cutscene when it cuts to a disc read error message.
Sonic Heroes Review
- At the beginning, Johnny explains why he's reviewing the Gamecube version, citing the PS2 version as the worst port of the game, and laughs that he got the game for Elliot as a Christmas gift. Elliot silently flips him off.
- "It's said when the only way I can have a good time with Sonic Heroes is with a love-starved pink hedgehog, a rabbit with an incredibly annoying voice, and a big cat voiced by Duke Nukem!"
- When discussing the character battles:Johnny: She (Amy) wants to physically assault him just so he'll marry her? (Amy's face turns red) AH!
- When Big ends up in his Draw me in one of your French girls poses, Johnny and Elliot react appropriately.
- His epic rant about "Heroes'" Special Stages. Complete with CENSORED MODE.
Shadow the Hedgehog
- When the Black Arms (i.e. "aliens") appear in the game's first cutscene, an annoyed Johnny wordlessly drops the controller and leaves... only to force himself to sit back down and pick the controller back up seconds later, sighing in exasperation all the while.
- Listen to his rant here (you have to wait a while). Oh man.
Sonic the Hedgehog (2006) Review
- When Shadow kicks Silver in slow-motion:Johnny: I always look forward to that...
- TIME TRAVEL IS BULLSHIT
- Johnny gets gradually more irritated by the overall absurdity of the plot - especially the main cast's inability to prevent something that could've been easily averted...Johnny: Somebody, for the love of God, DO SOMETHING RIGHT!!!
- After Mephiles kills Sonic, Johnny learns that the only way to bring him back to life is to use all seven Chaos Emeralds. Thankfully, Sonic himself was Only Mostly Dead.Miracle Max: It just so happens that your friend here is only mostly dead. It's a big difference between "mostly dead" and "all dead". Please, open his mouth!*Cue Princess Elise kissing Sonic; cut to Johnny drinking his beer in contemplation*
- And of course, the Princess herself hesitates to erase Solaris from history.
Elise: I don't care what happens to the world! - Johnny says that the only NPC of interest in the hub area is a man playing the accordion.Johnny: That's a great stuff there, accordion man. Now play me the Polkamon!*Cue the Accordion Man doing just that*
- ROCK LAUNCH! HUAH!!
- The entire montage of the characters saying: "Long time no see!"Sonic: How long is this gonna go on?!
The Legend of Zelda Review
- Johnny points out the absolutely useless map on the game's HUD:Johnny: Well, fuck that.*Goes on the Internet and pulls out a map for the game, all set to the Item Get jingle*
- Johnny thinking that Darknut sounds like a porno version of The Dark Knight.
- Johnny brutally points out how difficult the AI can get in Ganon's Dungeon... and sheds a new light on Blue Wizrobes:Johnny: Ganon's Dungeon is filled with a lot of dead ends with hordes of Wizrobes waiting to ambush you!Johnny (as a whole horde of Blue Wizrobes complete with echo): Fresh Meat! Fresh Meat! Fresh Meat!
Zelda II: The Adventure of Link Review
- Casually referring to the Wizrobes as "the Ku Klux Klan".
- And interrupting himself at the end of the review by saying: "I got this hat at Momocon."
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past Review
- Having trouble with pronouncing Agahnim's name and deciding to call him Jerry for the rest of the review.
- Johnny having trouble with the Moldorm. Cluster F-Bomb ensues.
- Johnny notes how Wizrobes got significantly easier compared to the original game:Johnny (as a Wizrobe): Fresh Meat! Fresh- WHOOOP! *gets killed by Link*
- Johnny provokes the Cuccos to attack him.
- The episode ends with the Japanese hip-hop commercial.
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening Review
- Johnny is quick to notice that some enemies are borrowed from Super Mario Bros. 2. Including Wart.
- When Kirby suddenly shows up:
Johnny: Oh, you crafty bitches! - Upon waking up Wind Fish, Koholint Island is erased from existence. And Link is still stranded in the sea. Johnny quickly thanks Wind Fish with "Yeah, thanks, asshole!"
- He also tells that Marin got out of the dream as a seagull in the secret ending...
Johnny: But Link is still lost at sea... I mean, what the fuck?
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time Review
- Johnny's reaction to the words: "Whilst thou get the girl? Or play like one?"
- Noting that Link is too young:Johnny: The kid is barely 9 years old in this game... boy, is he in for some shit!
- "The Master Sword: The Blade That Gets Shit Done"
- Ganondorf is able to get to the Temple of Time because of Link who left the door open. Cue Johnny with a "Wah-wah" comment.
- Johnny lampshades the fact that the Sages are pleading Link to stop the evil Ganondorf to save the world:Johnny: That's why I'm here in the first place - to stop the world from becoming even shittier...
- *cut to young Link* "Sup," *cut to young Zelda* "You!"
- Getting aggravated by Kaepora Gaebora of all people.Johnny: Goddammit, no! Go away, Kaepora Gaebora! Go away! GO AWAY! *sigh* You're not going away, are you?Kaepora Gaebora: Fuckin' real!*cue Johnny's shocked expression*
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask Review
- Referring to Happy Mask Salesman as Mr. Smiles.
- Johnny finally gets the reason for the 72 hours limit.Johnny: I mean... SHIT...
- He also determines that each day in Termina is 18 minutes long; thus Link has 54 real-time minutes to save the world. Cue the shocked Doc Brown.
- Johnny once again bothers Cuccos while killing time for the sidequests.
- This bit about the Stone Mask:Johnny: What? You couldn't tell from the design that it makes you pracitically invisible? Come on, really?
- The picture of Link with said mask is the icing on the cake.
- The bosses' names: Goht (Goat) and Gyorg (George).
- "God, I hate playing Ocarina songs on the analog stick!" *Link gets the wrong note* "Fuck!"
Braid Review
- This game's story is LOADED with symbolism. Any gamer who tries to comprehend it will "explode like a fucking atomic bomb".*Cue the actual nuke going off*
- In one of the levels called "Fecal Companion" (that's an actual name, BTW), Johnny gets aggravated by the task of dragging the key with him over the entire course.Johnny: The key is very fucking fecal, indeed!
- To get one of the hidden stars, Johnny needs to wait 2 HOURS for the cloud to shift in its direction. That is, the 2 hours in real time. Johnny's anger over this issue speaks for itself.
Super Meat Boy Review
- Johnny already has a clear understanding of what this game could do to anyone who decides to play Drinking Game about it. Complete with a clip of Clement from his attempt screaming "I HATE MEGA MAN X6!!!"Johnny: Heh-heh, poor asshole...
- "I'm gonna beat this Meat! Bring it on, Super Meat-"Johnny (a bit later): This game will challenge you. You will die. You will die a lot. And HOLY SHIT, you will die a lot!
- Not to mention, the ridiculous amount of deaths Johnny suffered while playing this game for the review.
- Calling Tim "the perplexing fuck".
- Screaming in angst upon mentioning The Kid. And the game of origin itself being characterized as "FUCK YOU: THE GAME".
Cave Story Review
- This bit:Johnny: May I ask: who the Hell names their kid Misery? You're just asking her to be part of a Dark Side in due time!
- The overall aggravation about getting the best ending...Johnny: What the fuck, game?
- While on the same topic, Johnny pictures a kid casually strolling to his home... only for the 5,000 feet mountain suddenly appear out of nowhere, with said home at its peak. In other words, the literal Difficulty Spike.
- The Bloodstained Sanctuary... which Johnny describes as The Fucking Hell - both in literal and figurative sense. Especially the ridiculous amount of bosses that needs to be defeated... with NO CHECKPOINTS!!
- Also, this bit about Curly Brace:Johnny: Look at that cute smile when she's obliterating that monster...
Bastion Review
- The review is narrated by some man that got hired by Johnny.
- Some conversations between the Narrator and Johnny are also funny.
- The protagonist of Bastion is known only as the Kid.Narrator: No, it ain't that Kid... but I can hear John's PTSD from here.*cue Johnny himself screaming in defeat*
- The "contract signed with WB Games" is just a piece of paper with the words "Talk A Lot - Don't Say Much" written on it.
- Apparently, Narrator doesn't have any idea about the word "McGuffin". To him, it sounds like a breakfast sandwich.
- On that note, he also points out that Johnny likes the game about the boy who uses the key as a sword, and the game about the boy who's living in the kingdom where everything is named after food. Johnny quickly corrects the Narrator by spelling out the actual titles.
- At one point, Elliot himself asks Johnny who he's talking to, thinking it's the Tails Doll again.Johnny (to the Narrator): Are you the Tails Doll?Narrator: No.Johnny: It's not the Tails Doll, Elliot!Elliot (off-screen): Okay...
- The Narrator gets rocks as a payment at the end of the episode.
- The outtake with the background motorbike noise.
Dust: An Elysian Tail Review
- Noting how the creator of this game - Dean Dodrill - expected to complete this game under 3 and a half months; but the game itself was released after 3 in a half years of hard work.Johnny: Never underestimate your work, folks! It can bite you in the ass...
- The Mysterious Wall Chicken...Johnny: Nothing mysterious about Wall Chicken - it's fucking delicious!
- The leveling-up system bit:*During the dialogue with NPC, the sudden explosion occurs*Johnny: FUCK! Holy shit... I can't remember the last time I played the game where leveling-up was represented by a character fucking exploding in the glimmer of light!
- Noting that this game sports the progression system similar to that of Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia: certain locations on the world map unlock as the player gets further and further along in the story. The players are free to choose any of these unlocked locations - whether to advance the plot further or to accumulate the necessary amount of experience.
- The odd color scheme of the titular hero.Johnny: It looks like he's fighting in his fucking pajamas!
- Johnny is suddenly terrified upon seeing some of the games from Summer Steam Sales levitating over his head, as if they ask him to be reviewed next.
Minecraft Review
- At the end of Day 2 in Survival Mode, Johnny briefly sidetracks into Animal Crossing.
- During the Day 3, Johnny suddenly gets attacked by two skeleton archers.Johnny (to the character who is shot with arrows that protrude out of his body): Ugh, sorry, dude...
- Johnny's losing of his inventory, as he himself puts it, "demoralized the fuck out of him". He lashes out at some skeleton as if it was a punching bag.
- Hitting an adorable pixelated pig with a tool.
- Johnny ends the episode by teleporting out of his couch, kinda like certain Blue Bomber would do.
Mega Man Review
- The picture of Mega Man sitting on the sidewalk with a sign "Will work for E-TANKS".
- This:Johnny: Mega Man - Champion of Justice. Now get your metallic ass out there and start shooting shit up!
- Mega Man "skyrocketing towards death".Johnny: No, seriously, did you see how fucking fast he fell down there?
- Johnny has some problems with Mega Man's traction, and this tidbit on the very small platform is what really sells it:Johnny: Easy. Easy... *grabs the item finally* There we go. *jumps into the bottomless pit anyway*
- Referring to Mega Man's Arm Cannon as a Lemon Shooter.
- This bit about Magnet Beam:Johnny: Fuckin' love this thing... Fuck you, dissappearing blocks! Fuck you, pogo-bot! Fuck you, bottomle- *falls into pit again* AAGH!!!
- Johnny's violent reaction to the FUCKING YELLOW DEVIL.
- And he later calls it a "fucking jerk".
- Johnny notices that Mega Man left Dr. Wily alone after he defeated him. His reaction:Johnny: What, did Mega Man just: "HEY! CUT THAT SHIT OUT!!! OKAY, BYE-TEE!!!"
- From the Mega Man Powered Up portion:
- "Possibly racially insensitive Oil Man"
- (Fucking) Yellow Devil is able to speak in the ancient language of "BUMO".
Mega Man 2 Review
- Addressing the absurd North American cover of the game:Johnny: Was Capcom deliberately fucking with the artist responsible for creating international box arts?
- It took one single look at European cover to simply proclaim: "Let's just move on..."
- "Mega Man: Champion of Justice. Doesn't know how to call police."
- The problems with knockback return once again.Johnny: Seriously, that's one archaic design choice I'm glad time has forgotten about... *cue being knocked back into bottomless pit* Ow, come on!
- Noting how Metal Blade essentially outshines Mega Man's own Arm Cannon.Johnny: Mega Man can fire metallic object in 8 directions, but not his Mega Buster... *shrugs*
- Killing Metal Man in one hit with it.
Johnny: Metal Man is afraid of his own weapon? The hell?! Huh... - The "year-long hike across seasons" that Mega Man goes through in the ending.
Mega Man 3 and Mega Man: The Wily Wars Review
- The resident Mega Man Guy - The Great Clement - joins Johnny for the review. Both take the time to poke fun at their respective Sonic '06 reviews' lengths.Johnny: This is getting us nowhere! You can join me this time, but be warned... *dramatic music*Clement: What...?Johnny: I'm not a Mega Man enthusiast.
- The North American cover of Mega Man 3 is a lot better than the previous two... but Mega Man himself is seen with a creepy Slasher Smile on his face.Clement: Not to mention, he's a dirty fighter... Mega Man just totally shot Spark Man in the dick! If I were Top Man, I'd be buying some protection right now!
- The European box art isn't any better, though:
Clement: AGH! Christ, Wily!Johnny: That's the stuff of nightmares, folks... *whispering* Dr. Wily's always watching... - Both Johnny and Clement praise Rush for being way better than the flat Items from the previous game.Johnny: This is awesome. Please tell me it's become a staple of the series!Clement: Well, yeah, but...Johnny: Yeah, fuck you, invisible blocks!Clement: Eh, let him find out. He doesn't need to know right now...Johnny: Fuckin' love this thing!
- "Heh, I'm pretty sure I'll respawn at the-" "I'm at the beginning of the stage?! What the fuck???"
- Dr. Wily's gets misspelled as Dr. Wiley until the end of the review.
- Johnny compliments Dr. Wily for leaving Energy Tanks, and a generally easy level design... until he meets with the FUCKING YELLOW DEVIL.
- "Oh, man! Watch out for that very small slow turtle!"
- "PLEASE, FORGIVE ME!!!"
- After the video concludes, Johnny sees Clement still trying to beat Johnny's record at Classic City Escape.
- And the Evil Laugh from Clement... that abruptly transitions into coughing fit.
Mega Man 4 and Mega Man 5 Review
- This line from 4:Johnny: Wasting no time, Mega Man begins his journey to cut that shit out.
- Johnny bopping his head and spinning around in his chair during the "Weapon Get" theme.
- Johnny's epic-looking face during the Toad Man battle.
- From the same game, when discussing Flash Stopper:Johnny: It also makes the likes of Pharaoh Man a complete joke. Look at that: he can't do shit now.*cue the animation of Mega Man unloading a shitload of pellets at the helpless Pharaoh Man*
- Dr. Cossak's giant grabby-grabby claw.
- Dr. Wily forced Dr. Cossack to do his bidding while he... played Sudoku, apparently.
- Wily Capsule appearing on top of charged Pharaoh Shot and destroying itself.
- This:Johnny: So, Wily is defeated once more, and then he... easily escapes via rotating door... The fortress explodes, and the credits roll. The fu- Wow! That's an ending! Why don't we just head into Mega Man 5 now and see how they managed to follow that masterpiece of storytelling.
- In 5, Proto Man is described as a "jumping douchebag who gets kicks out of Jolly Old Fat Man".
- Apparently, Robot Masters can be easily ordered in packages of 8 to cause problems.
- Johnny thinking that Proto Man's fortress looks like a spaceship. Then it promptly flies off.
- Johnny waiting until the Mystery Tank fills up all of Mega Man's weapon energy.
Mega Man 6 Review
- The game just doesn't feel right being played on a newer HDTV... so Johnny goes into the storage room to get his old TV, which he claims to be much heavier than it looks.
- After setting up the old school gaming rig, Johnny presses the Power button on the NES, only to be met by a burst of static for a few seconds.
- Johnny imagines the First Annual Robot Master Tournament as a "Robot Wars competition with more personality".
- He silently suspects that Mr. X, the host of said tournament, looks way too familliar for him.
- The summary of the game:Johnny: There's 8 bad guys, you're one good guy, Bam, Boom, Pow, Kablooey, final boss time!
- Noticing the word FAILD.
- Johnny is shocked that Mega Man finally does something to capture Wily. Namely, he ties up the good doctor with rope.
Mega Man 7 Review
- Nathan's arguments with the trapped Tails Doll:Tails Doll: You there! Yes, you, with the silly hat! Are you talking to Johnny?Nathan: Aye, what?Tails Doll: Tell him he's an asshole!Nathan: Uh... hey, John? The demonic-looking fox thing says you're an asshole.Johnny: Lovely. Anyway, what's up?
- Nathan pleads with Johnny to let him join - if only for the bearded dragon.
- Wily's name gets misspelled yet again - as Dr. Willy.
- Also, this:
Johnny: Nathan, I've played six Mega Man games at this point, I think I can handle another Willy.Nathan: That... sounds... - The picture of Mega Man with the Metool hat.
- The alternate theme to Shade Man's level is the main theme to Ghosts 'n Goblins, which leaves Johnny sitting in the fetal position for a while before screaming in terror.
- During the battle with Wily, Johnny lists the hardest games he played in the past. When Nathan once again mentions Ghosts and Goblins, Johnny only screams in angst.
- This dialogue:Nathan (as Proto Man): Did you collect R, U, S and H circuit plates yet?Johnny (as Mega Man): No.Nathan (as Proto Man): No need for the sarcasm. By the way, what do you think of my invisible coffee mug?
- After getting the last weapon, Mega Man teleports away; and when he comes back for the cutscene, he finds Dr. Light's lab completely shitwrecked.Johnny (as Mega Man): That was only 3 seconds-Nathan (as Dr. Light): Don't judge me...
- This:Johnny: Okay, Mega Man, he's [Wily] down once more, now it's time to whip out that magestic rope of yours and-*cue Mega Man suddenly charging his Buster*Johnny: ...or you can just straight up kill the bastard...
- Lampshading the Unflinching Walk scene (which is absent from Anniversary Collection).
- When Nathan finally leaves, he dons his Clyde costume, leaving Johnny a little dumbfounded.
Mega Man 8 Review
- Lampshading the fact that Mega Man can actually shoot in multiple directions... only in cutscenes. "And that's just horseshit", indeed.
- Johnny is clearly seen giggling at the horrible voice acting.
- Johnny notes that Rush got a lot less useful in this game. He even falls asleep!Charlie Brown: Man's best friend...
- Johnny takes a spotlight on a particularly long scream by Mega Man (for twenty seconds) when he's grabbed in a cutscene."Holy shit, someone save him and SHUT HIM UP ALREADY!!"
- Ad-lipping the line "screw up" in the outtake.
Mega Man & Bass Review
- Johnny's excitement over the fact that Bass averts the Denial of Diagonal Attack trope entirely.
- Johnny gets hot under the collar at how hard the game is, particularly as Mega Man.Johnny: Yeah, thanks for that cheap shot, asshole!!
- "OH MY GOD, King's fortress..." The Kaizo Trap at the end of the first stage, the whole entirety of the second, and the gauntlet of Robot Masters with platforming challenges in between in the third. Johnny only has this to say:
Johnny: I play video games to escape and have fun, not to have an excuse to break a fucking monitor! - The whole list of problems surrounding the second boss battle in King's second stage:1. You're constantly moving across platforms and hovering over bottomless pits.2. A fist attack that can destroy said platforms, leaving you pretty much fucked if you're Mega Man.3. A flashbang attack that completely blinds you - the player - leaving you unable to see what you're doing for a second.
- Learning that King was controlled by none other than Dr. Wily.Johnny: This story fucking blows!
- The GBA version adds another problem to the already hard game: SCREEN CRUNCH.Johnny: Bullshit parts just got a whole lot... bullshittier.
- At the end of the video, when Ryan appears to talk to Johnny, Johnny's holding the NES zapper at Ryan's head, thinking the Tails Doll is finally returned. Ryan, naturally, is confused.
- Ryan laments the fact that he didn't joined Johnny for the Mega Man review.
Johnny: Since when did it become a fucking law that I need to give my associates the heads-up for this sort of shit?!
Mega Man 9 and Mega Man 10 Review
- "Holy shit! A female..."
- Said "female" is able to decimate Proto Man: the amount of damage taken from Splash Woman's Laser Trident speaks for itself.
- Speaking of Proto Man himself, he is too powerful in Mega Man Powered Up.
Johnny: Have fun nuking the shit out of enemies with large-ass cannon shots! - In Plug Man's stage, Johnny frantically tries to slide under the platform to get the screw. Ryan reminds him that Mega Man doesn't have the slide nor the charge shot for this game.*cue Johnny staring dramatically at the camera*
- Johnny is glad to see that the Energy Tanks came back after being absent in Mega Man 8 and Mega Man & Bass.Ryan: Eh, going with an E-Tank withdrawal there...Ryan: No... no... I was... just curious...
- Noting that Mega Man 9 has the option to enable sprite flickering.Johnny: But why the Hell would you wanna do that?
- "Roboenza Virus..."
- "Deadly footballs, baseballs, lockers... Lockers?"
- Johnny briefly slips into pirate accent upon seeing Wily Machine 10.
Ghosts 'n Goblins and Super Ghouls 'N Ghosts Review
- Tails Doll kidnaps Johnny and forces him to play the game after seeing Johnny become a little chickenshit during the Mega Man 7 review.
- Also, this moment:
Johnny: You could've killed me while I was unconcious, and yet here I am - alive and well on my futon. What is it, performance anxiety or something?Tails Doll: SHUT YOUR FACE! - This:Johnny (to the game cartridge): Please, crap out on me!Tails Doll: Not gonna happen, Johnny...
- "Don't you hate it when you get cock-blocked by the Prince of Darkness himself?"
- Johnny's anger is cranked way higher than usual for the first game, particularly during the fifth level.
- So much so that even Tails Doll eventually gets fed up with Johnny being on one level for three hours (which Johnny admits that he really was stuck on Stage Five for that long), but also the ghosts' ear grating squeals.
- Before Johnny even gets to play this nightmarish level, we get this:
Tails Doll: Enjoying yourself, Johnny?Johnny: Eat a dick, you sick muppet!Tails Doll: Calm now, you finally reached the final level. You got this far. Surely you can go the distance...Johnny: Have you played this game before? I'd rather play Sonic '06 than sludge this unholy piece of programming!*Beat*Tails Doll: That's sure to offend someone-Johnny: Nah... who cares?- "It's not pleasant... no, let me rephrase that: IT FUCKING SUCKS! IT SUCKS!"
- After finding out that Johnny would have to play Ghosts 'N Goblins twice, we get this gem:Tails Doll: The princess can enjoy spending her time in hell, move on to the next game.
- While going through Super Ghouls 'n Ghosts, Johnny seems to enjoy the game until it requires from him to beat it again... by defeating Astaroth with the Bracelet power-up.
- Tails Doll's send-off to Johnny:Tails Doll: Tell your brother I said "Hello"... oh, and tell your other brother to suck it!
- When he finally leaves, Johnny takes the time to smash the games. He picks up a normal hammer... before deciding to go big and break out a freaking Mjolnir.
