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Quotes / Ragtag Bunch of Misfits

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    Anime and Manga 
With a reluctant assistant cook as a pilot, a ditsy general's daughter in command, and the largest contingent of geeks, misfits and anime fans ever sent into orbit, the poor enemy Jovians won't stand a chance!
— Right Stuf's summary of Martian Successor Nadesico

    Comic Books 
Back in the '60s, when DC super-heroes still sported right-angled jawlines and Boy Scout principles, the Doom Patrol slouched into town like a pack of junkyard dogs with a grudge against mankind.
Grant Morrison from his Afterword to Doom Patrol #20

Niles: Okay. We've got an engineer who locks himself in the engine room on bad days. We've got a gunner who won't fire her guns unless she wants to. Probably the most brilliant man in the navy, can't operate e-station unless he's all fucked up on drugs. And a pilot who humps procedure books at night.
Ryder: We're doomed. But we got a nice boat.

    Fan Fiction 
And the five sort-of friends went upstairs.
It's a weird friendship they all have.
But they have it.
Calvin and Hobbes: The Series, "Two Loons and a Kid"

They're all milling around the car in the gas station forecourt, stretching their legs while Snake pumps the gas, Clover hovering at his elbow. It's empty, which Junpei is thankful for, because as a group they look bizarre. A schoolgirl in kneesocks, an exotic dancer in a sarong, a hulking policeman, an aristocratic young man wearing a monk's robe, and some college kid, all filthy, all exhausted.

    Film - Live-Action 
We spend 250 billion dollars a year on defense. And here we are: The fate of the planet in the hands of bunch of retards I wouldn't trust with a potato gun!
General Kimsey, Armageddon

But, let's do a headcount here: Your brother, the demigod; a super-soldier — a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend; a man with breathtaking anger management issues; a couple of master assassins, and you, big fella... you've managed to piss off every single one of them.
Tony Stark, on the titular Avengers

Ella: I'm coming with you, if you don't mind.
Meacham: Be our guest. We've got a kid and a dog tagging along, why not a woman?

There's no use waiting for the cavalry, because as of this moment, the cavalry is us. This is our fight, whether we like it or not. Just we few. We're not your classic superheroes. We're not the favorites. We're the other guys. We're the guys nobody ever bets on.
The Shoveler Mystery Men

An orphan girl, a lost traveler, an old drunk, and the monk who has failed at the same task for half his life. Hmph. Misfits following a misfit in hopes of rescuing... a misfit.

We're all very different people. We're not Watusi. We're not Spartans. We're Americans with a capital "A," huh? You know what that means? Do you? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world. We are the wretched refuse. We're the underdog. We're mutts. Here's proof. His nose is cold. But there's no animal that's more faithful, that's more loyal, more loveable than the mutt. Who saw Old Yeller? Who cried when Old Yeller got shot at the end? Nobody cried when Old Yeller got shot? I'm sure. I cried my eyes out. Yeah. So we're all dogfaces. We're all very different. But there is one thing that we all have in common. We were all stupid enough to enlist in the army.
John Winger, Stripes


"Cassie, everyone here has problems. Ax is the only member of his species within a trillion miles who’s not a Controller; you’re a pacifist who spends half her time battling aliens; Jake is just a dumb jock trying to play General Eisenhower; Rachel is about three millimeters away from morphing permanently into the Terminator; and, oh, by the way, Tobias is a bird who lives in a tree and eats mice for breakfast."
Marco, Animorphs, "The Proposal"

Shelena: Just great! I found myself in a fascinating company! A banished wizard, who can't conjure anything without fainting immediately...
Veres: It's temporary!
Shelena: ...a dragon who runs away from overgrown wolves...
Darkness: Yeah, I barely managed to catch up with you!
Shelena: adolescent with consumption...
(Rest tries to protest, but has an attack of coughing)
Shelena: ...and... a child!
(Virra's the only one to cheer up)
Darkness: And a werewolf with a nasty character.
Veres: It's not your usual werewolf... She's a woman. And there's no elixir that'd help you with that.

Hannah is laughing silently to herself, shoulders shaking. "God," she manages, "I can't bloody work out if this is the worst military intelligence division or the best. I really can't."
Broken Hero, by Jonathan Wood

    Live-Action TV 
This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed.

Well, it's a Jerry Springer kind of family... but for what it's worth, Zhaan, you're family.
John Crichton, Farscape

Talk about blatant tokenism. That whole ragtag bunch of misfits thing is so 2009.
Olivia Newton-John, Glee

You've each been selected for this mission because you're unknown to the enemy and you each have a special skill. Professor Hawking, John Leslie, Phil Neville, the Wu-Tang Clan, Usher, the Sugar Puffs Monster, and Daniel Day-Lewis; Welcome to Operation Mind-Fuck!

You're telling me the fate of the world is in the hands of a pastry chef, a Harlem Globetrotter, an alien real estate sign-spinner, a dude dressed as Grimace, and an office chair?

It is clear to me that none of you are worthy of my blood or my life, but I will stand for you. And together we will bring honor to this ship and glory to the Empire.
Worf Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, "Soldiers of the Empire", to the crew of the Rotarran.

A child, a moron, a failure and a psychopath. Quite a little team you've put together.
Brunt, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, "The Magnificent Ferengi"

Garak: Damar expressed concern when I told him that Colonel Kira would be leading this mission.
Kira: Well if he wants to defeat the Dominion he's going to have to put his personal feelings aside.
Garak: He's certainly willing to do that. He knows the value of your skills. Damar is concerned that his men will see your uniform as an affront. We Cardassians are a proud people. Losing Bajor to a ragtag band of terrorists, no offense, was a humiliation.
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, "When It Rains..."

You wouldn't be the first wayward soul we've folded into our ranks.
Captain Janeway, Star Trek: Voyager, "Counterpoint"

Dean: This is it.
Sam: This is what?
Dean: Team Free Will. One ex-blood junkie, one dropout with six bucks to his name, and Mr. Comatose over there.
Supernatural, "The Song Remains the Same"

What can we do? We're just a ragtag bunch of misfits.

"The thing we're up against, it has virtually unlimited resources — governments working unwittingly at its behest, operatives around the globe protecting it. You know how many we have? Five. Six if you count the dog."
Root, Person of Interest, "Panopticon"

One's father was filthy rich, two was middle class, and one was homeless,
Add in the paralyzed girl in the wheelchair who just liked to watch, and that was the whole clique.
Lupe Fiasco, "Kick, Push II"

And the cynics were outraged
Screaming, "This is absurd!"
Cause for a moment a band of thieves in ripped up jeans got to rule the world.
Taylor Swift, "Long Live"

What will posterity think we were? Demi-gods? We're men, no more no less, trying to get a nation started against greater odds than a more generous God would have allowed.
Benjamin Franklin, 1776

    Video Games 
Great heroes can be found, even here... in the rain and mud.
The Ancestor, when recruiting heroes from the Stagecoach, Darkest Dungeon

The Warden: Don't I have enough armed lunatics following me around?
Oghren: Perfect! What's one more?
Dragon Age: Origins, when Oghren wants to join the party.

Tallis: You think I would fit into your merry entourage?
Isabela: Let's see... Are you possessed? Consorting with demons? A pathological liar?
Tallis: I have six toes on my left foot.
Dragon Age II: Mark of the Assassin

Have you met my friends? All of them are crazy, and most of them are killers.
Hawke, Dragon Age II: Mark of the Assassin

Rufus: Who are you guys?
Cloud: I'm Cloud, former SOLDIER First Class!
Barret: I'm from AVALANCHE!
Tifa: Same here!
Aerith: ...a flower girl from the slums.
Red XIII: ...a research specimen.
Rufus: What a crew.

An unlikely Band of Brothers.
The Illusive Man, Mass Effect 2 cinematic trailer

Sometimes, I'm not sure if the Normandy's a warship or a traveling freak-show.
Wrex learning Shepard has a Prothean on the team, Mass Effect 3

Two air pirates, a Silvite, two crazy old men, a snot-nosed brat, and an airsick prince! Valua doesn't stand a chance against us.

There's something I still don't get. Am I really THAT weird? This world's full of crazies! Look at Jakob. He has split-personality disorder. The minute Lord/Lady Avatar shows up, he's a celestial being with a heart of gold. With everyone else, he's a jerk. Silas? He's OK, but he's into some strange stuff. Or Arthur? He must have done something terrible to the gods to have such bad luck! All of the ladies are sick and tired of being hit on by Laslow! You know it's true! And Niles?! Seriously?! Is anyone shadier than that character? Why single me out?

Gig: You keep some damn strange company, kid.
Dio: Ah! But that must be the secret to your success!

We're a sorry bunch of losers!
The Demoman, Team Fortress 2

An elite group of war veterans, psychopaths, heroes and expendables.
— Official description of the Hunters, Evolve

Okay, listen up: Um... you're a bunch of dirty misfits! But you're all that's left, so you'll have to do.
Cayde-6, Destiny 2 trailer

Men and women. Soldiers and outlaws. All will come to us now that the road is clear.
Great heroes can be found, even here... in the mud and rain.
The Narrator, Darkest Dungeon, when upgrading the Stagecoach

    Visual Novels 
That would be you. The leftovers nobody else wants. Makes sense?
A punk car thief, a tramp who "worked" in a bar bathroom and an otaku narcissist who can't love anything that isn't two-dimensoinal... A walking potato who's strong but brainless and a cowardly sniper who can't kill people. I'm genuinely impressed they managed to find such a collection of rejects.
Of course, I myself am an idiot who rebelled against his parents, tried to become a dentist, and somehow ended up as military doctor instead... If anything, I'm probably the single biggest moron in this room.
Liutenant J, when first meeting his future platoon, Grisaia no Meikyuu.

Thief: Our usual strategies aren't working here, RM.
Red Mage: You mean bungle around and let White Mage sort it out later?

Red Mage: What happened to us? Sidequests used to fall into our laps. Now everyone mistakes us for clowns or perverts.
Black Mage: Well, to be fair, that's not so much incorrect as imprecise.

Mindflayer: Adventurers? I thought we were a bunch of outcasts banded together in hopes of increasing our odds of surviving to the next day.
Lomylith: That would be the definition of the word "adventurers," flayer.

Is it true what they say about ragtag bands of misfits? Because if it is, we're pretty much invincible.
Matt, Murphy's Law

Xykon: So, does the warranty on this cover being destroyed when your dungeon is accidentally blown up by a ragtag band of dysfunctional heroes?
Salesman: How rag-tag are we talking here?

Wait, wait. You ARE a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts, right? ...Yeah, you people are my LARGEST threat.

Torbjörn: So we're down to five crew members, and there's still not enough for proper salaries. No one will want to work for us. Unless they're idiots.
Trond: Stop badmouthing idiots, you spoiled brats! Some of the most competent soldiers that I've had the privilege to work with were idiots. (...) Another demographic we should look into is desperate people, like the recently fired ones. And those who hate their current employers or co-workers with a burning passion.
Taru: Oooh, what about people who are extremely bored with their lives? I know places where I can find people like that.
Trond: Excellent! See, Taru understands what I'm trying to say.
Siv: Our crew is going to be just a bunch of weirdos, isn't it?

    Web Original 
So... we got carrot head, talking deer and the pervert chef. Must be one hell of a crew once we get them all together, huh?

[A] career supervillain, a killer robot AI with tits, and a crazy teenage mutant girl who had her soul gang-banged in Limbo...
Jack Fisher describing Cyclops's activist group.

Godzilla:Where are they? Are they behind this weak group of nerdy-looking monsters?
Rodan:Uh, Godzilla, they ARE the group of nerdy-looking monsters!
Godzilla:What?! Oh crap!
—>—Monster Island Buddies

B.O.B.: We are the worst adventurers on the planet. The bad father, the taciturn dwarf, the paladin that do police brutality and that guy who flirts with everyone. We must open our tavern, we've been talking about this for too long.
Web Video/Aventures

So we have a strategist with no plan, a charmless bard who is also tone deaf, an insane cannibal wolf lady, a barbarian who prefers the art of film to fighting, and a slow rogue. What a colorful bunch.

    Western Animation 
Fry: Why would you want to be normal? You're better than normal. You're abnormal, and that's what makes you great! Like Dr. Zoidberg. He's a weird monster who smells like he eats garbage, and does.
Dr. Zoidberg: Damn right!
Fry: The Professor's a senile, amoral crackpot...
Farnsworth: (cackles)
Fry: Amy's a klutz from Mars...
Amy: (crash) Floops!
Fry: Hermes is a Rastafarian accountant...
Hermes: Tally me banana!
Professor: And Fry, you've got that brain thing.
Fry: I already did!

Raven: I don't exactly... fit in.
Cyborg: He's green, half of me is metal, and she's from space. You fit in fine.

Ugh! What's so special about your friends?! How can a group of ponies that are so different be so important?!
Starlight Glimmer describing the Mane Six, My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic

But this is all that's left of [Rose Quartz's] army? A lost, defective Pearl, a puny, overcooked runt, and THIS shameless display?
Jasper, about Pearl, Amethyst and Garnet respectively, Steven Universe


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