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Quotes / The Reason You Suck Speech Live Action TV

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Oliver Queen: The reason I came back was to save the people of this city.
Quentin Lance: I hate to break it to you, but saving people isn't your specialty. Tommy. Hilton. Your mother. My daughter. And now you're set on killing Laurel, too.
Oliver Queen: I didn't want her to be involved in this. I didn't want anyone to be involved in this.
Quentin Lance: But you involved me. You spent a year making me look like a fool. You spent a year making me your accomplice. You have any idea what you've done, huh? What you've done to all of us, to the people you claim to care so much about? You've made us criminals! You've made us liars and victims. You, Mr. Queen, are not a hero. You're a villain. But you know that, don't you?

*Scoff* League of Assassins. You're feared for your bravery and power. But all I see are a bunch of weak men running from their lives, trying to escape. That's not powerful, Maseo. Or brave. It's cowardly.
John Diggle, Arrow

Penny: I know you think you're just some kind of smooth-talking ladies man, but the truth is you're just pathetic and creepy.
Howard Wolowitz: Um, so what are you saying?
Penny: I am saying it is not a compliment to call me doable. It's not sexy to stare at my ass and say "Ooh, that must be jelly, 'cause jam don't shake like that." And most important, we are not dancing a tango, we're not to-ing and fro-ing, nothing is ever gonna happen between us! Ever!
Howard Wolowitz: Wait a minute. This isn't flirting, you're serious.
Penny: Flirting? You think I'm flirting with you? I am not flirting with you! No woman is ever going to flirt with you! You're just gonna grow old and die alone!

Willow: Faith, wait. I wanna talk to you.
Faith: Oh yeah? Give me the speech again, please. "Faith, we're still your friends. We can help you. It's not too late."
Willow: It's way too late. You know, it didn't have to be this way. But you made your choice. I know you had a tough life. I know that some people think you had a lot of bad breaks. Well, boo hoo. Poor you. You know, you had a lot more in your life than some people. I mean, you had friends like Buffy. Now you have no one. You were a Slayer and now you're nothing. You're just a big, selfish, worthless waste.

Have you ever stopped to think that these delusions that you're special aren't real? That maybe there's nothing important about you at all? Maybe you are just a lonely old man that crashed on an Island. That's it.
Jack Shephard, Lost, "The Life & Death of Jeremy Bentham"

Do you want to know what he was thinking while you choked the life out of him, Benjamin? What the last thought that ran through his head was? "I don't understand." Isn't that just the saddest thing you've ever heard? But it's fitting in a way because when John first came to the island, he was a very sad man. A victim shouting at the world for being told what he couldn't do, even though they were right. He was weak and pathetic, and irreparably broken, but despite all of that, there was something admirable about him. He was the only one of them who didn't want to leave. The only one who realized how pitiful the life he left behind actually was.
The Man in Black, Lost, "LAX"

Three years. For three years, I warned you this day was coming, but you would not listen. Pride, you said; presumption. And now the Shadows are on the move. The Centauri and the younger worlds are at war; the Narns have fallen; even the humans are fighting one another! The pride was yours; the presumption was yours. For a thousand years, we have been awaiting for fulfilment of prophecy, and when it finally happens, you scorn it, you reject it, because you no longer believe it yourselves. "We stand between the candle and the star, between the darkness and the light." You say the words, but your hearts are empty, your ears closed to the truth. You stand for nothing but your own petty interests. "The problems of others are not our concern." I do not blame you for standing silent in your shame. You, who knew what was coming, but refused to take up the burden of this war. If the Warrior Caste will not fight, then the rest of us will. If the Council has lost its way, if it will not lead, if we have abandoned our covenant with Valen, then the Council should be broken... as was prophesied.
Delenn, to the Grey Council, Babylon 5, "Severed Dreams"

Catherine: How did you get in here?
Leo Finley: Can't we talk about something interesting? Me, for instance. I'm interesting.
Catherine: Yeah, let's do that. Let's talk about you.
Leo: For starters, Norah left me. [Catherine's face falls] Actually, she threw my stuff out onto the street, got a restraining order on me, notified the neighbors and called my boss. "Hey, Scumbag. Don't bother coming in. We'll mail you your last check." So in one fell swoop, as it were, I lost my girlfriend, my livelihood and my place to live. I thought it was going to be different this time. Frankly, I blame you.
Catherine: I didn't create the circumstances of your life, Leo.
Leo: You grind up the innocent with the guilty!
Catherine: [Warning] Hey, take it easy. I was just doing my job.
Leo: "I was just doing my job."
Catherine: Yeah, I was just doing my job.
Leo: "I was just doing my job. I was just following orders." [Suddenly exploding] Blonde. Nazi. BITCH! You get in there with your big boots and you kick it all apart and you don't care who you hurt! Whose life you destroy in the process!
Catherine: Calm down.
Leo: [Almost in tears, increasingly agitated] No! It's not fair!
Catherine: [Forcefully] Calm down.
[Leo moves towards her angrily; Catherine steps back and draws her gun, alarmed]
Catherine: Just stay back! And calm down!
Leo: You going to shoot me? Would that help you forget how completely you screwed my life up? Would you sleep better at night? Maybe I should just save you the trouble and blow my own brains out. What do you think?
Catherine: I think you should talk to somebody.
Leo: I am talking to somebody. I'm talking to you. So how about this? If I do decide to kill myself, I'm going to come over to your house and blow my brains out right on your front lawn. As a gift to you and everything you stand for. How does that work for you?
[Leo turns and walks away, leaving Catherine behind, shaken.]
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, "A Thousand Days on Earth"

I saved you. I didn't forget while you had us playing farmer. I still know how to survive. Lucky for us. I don't need you anymore. I don't need you to protect me anymore. I can take care of myself. You probably can't even protect me anyways. You couldn't protect Judith. You couldn't protect Hershel or Glenn or Maggie, Michonne, Daryl, or Mom. You just wanted to plant vegetables. You just wanted to hide. He knew where we were and you didn't care! You just hid behind those fences and waited for him. They're all gone now. Because of you! They counted on you! You were their leader! But now you're nothing. I'd be fine if you died.
Carl Grimes, The Walking Dead, "After"

You see, I stop people from dying. I am the answer. Now, it may have taken a hard lesson for you to hear it, but you should hear it now. It's time. Do not let any more of your shit decisions cost you to lose anyone else you love. That garbage... that sticks with you. Forever. Just like Carl will. Hell, I'm feeling it. And I'm gonna be feeling it for a while. You could have just let me save all of you. I mean, that's why I killed your friends in the first place. So, you can sit there and you can say that you're gonna kill me, but you won't. You failed. You failed as a leader, and most of all, Rick, you failed as a father. Just give up. Give up, because you have already lost.
Negan, The Walking Dead, "The Lost and the Plunderers"

Hate to break it to you, O Impotent One, but you're not the Big Bad anymore. You're not even the Kinda Naughty! You're nothing but a waste of space — my space! And as much as I always got a big laugh watching Buffy kick your shiny white bum and as much as I know I can give you a little bum-kicking myself right now, I'm here to tell you something: you're not even worth it.
Xander taunting Spike, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

The Doctor: I said I'd protect her. She was only here because of me, and you're sorry? I could have killed that Dalek in its cell. But you stopped me.
Henry van Statten: It was the prize of my collection!
The Doctor: Your collection?! Well was it worth it?! Worth all those men's deaths, worth Rose?! Let me tell you something, van Statten. Mankind goes into space to explore, to be part of something greater!
Henry van Statten: Exactly! I wanted to touch the stars!
The Doctor: You just want to drag the stars down and stick them underground, underneath tons of sand and dirt, and label them! You're about as far from the stars as you can get! And you took her down with you. She was nineteen years old.
Doctor Who, "Dalek"

The man who abhors violence! Never carrying a gun! But this is the truth, Doctor. You take ordinary people and you fashion them into weapons. Behold your Children of Time, transformed into murderers. I made the Daleks, Doctor. You made this. […] How many more? Just think: how many have died in your name? […] The Doctor. The man who keeps running, never looking back because he dare not, out of shame. This is my final victory, Doctor. I have shown you yourself.
Davros, Doctor Who, "Journey's End"

You know what is dangerous about you? It's not that you make people take risks, it's that you make them want to impress you. You make it so they don't want to let you down. You have no idea how dangerous you make people to themselves when you're around.
Rory, Doctor Who, "Vampires of Venice"

You're monsters. Here you are, hiding away at the end of time. Do you even know why? Because you are hated. You are hated. By everybody. But by nobody more than me.
Clara Oswald to the Time Lords, Doctor Who, "Hell Bent"

Keats: You think you're so special. So clever. So needed. So damned right. You fooled everyone into believing in you. And I have the horrible, unpopular job of showing the world what you really are. The things you've done? Oh, they won't want to believe it. Because they love you. They think they know you, and they'll hate me for it. But in the end, they will see. As sad as it will be for them, they will see. I know what you did, three years ago. I know.
Gene: So you're gonna bring me down? Why're you telling me that?
Keats: See, that's what's ironic. You can't leave here, no matter what happens. This place defines you, which means you're going to have to sit here and watch me close your little kingdom forever. And you're left with a scrap heap. I just hope I can help Alex before it's too late.

You know, I sometimes wonder why I do this job. And then I come across someone like you. I mean, we're living in such evil times, when the whole world seems to be sinking into some sort of mire. And as if Hitler wasn't enough, we've got the likes of you, who capitalize on other people's misery, who hurt them, make things even worse for them when they're at their weakest. And it's with the likes of you that this mire begins. And it's some small consolation to know that I've helped to clean up just a little bit of it.
Foyle catching a looting firefighter, Foyle's War

Annie: Britta's right; you're the most selfish person alive! And all that is going to end right now, because I'm telling him what kind of friend you really are.
Jeff: Maybe you should tell him you're hopelessly in love with him. [Annie is stunned] High school must have been tough, huh? Waiting for a superstar to notice you. But here, he's all alone, and he needs so much help! Did you enroll in all of his classes, or were you worried that might freak him out? The important thing is that you are there for him. The important thing is that you are the only one there for him. And you don't really care what he wants, just as long as you don't have to share him with the rest of the world. Because really, you're just as selfish as I am. You're just not as good at it yet.
Annie: [Hurt] You're right. I could never be as good as you. Probably because I actually care.
Jeff: [Flippantly] Profound, but technically meaningless. [Upset, Annie storms off] And don't bother trying that thing that women do when they walk away and make the guy feel like crap because it's not going to happen! Yeah! [Guilty] Damn it!

Listen up, Colonel Cryptkeeper! I could live a million years, and I could spend every minute of it doing important things, but at the end of it all, I would only have lived half a life if I had not raised a son. [Pierce] was a gift that was handed to you. You squandered it. And the reason you have so much hatred in your heart is because you are trying to fill a hole where your kid is supposed to go. And now, it's too late. Now, you're just stomping around trying to prove you exist. Well, mission accomplished! But here's a question I'd like to pass to you from every son of every crap dad that ever lived: so what?! I'm done with you. He's done with you. The world is done with you.
Jeff Winger to Pierce's father, Community, "Advanced Gay"

You, Logan Huntzberger, are nothing but a two-bit, spoiled waste of a trustfund. You offer nothing to women, or the world in general. If you were to disappear from the face of the earth tomorrow, the only person that would miss you is your Porsche dealer.
Paris Gellar, Gilmore Girls

Ted: You picked the wrong guy.
Stella: Ted...
Ted: You picked the wrong guy. You made a really, really, really bad choice. What were you thinking? That guy? Are you kidding me? Have you learned nothing in the last eight years? You're just gonna regret this, you know that, right? You are going to regret this, and now there is nothing you can do about it, because it's too late. All you can do now is go up there and start your crappy, disappointing life that will never be nearly as happy as the one you could've had with me. Goodbye.
Stella: Ted, wait—
Ted: Look, Stella, I am not here to win you back. I'm here to know that you know you made the biggest mistake of your life.
Stella: ...I know.
Ted: Good.
(cut back to cab)
Ted: That what I'm gonna say.
Lily: That's good, go say that!
Future Ted: (narrating) So I got out of the cab read to say all that stuff. Ready to explode. But then... (Stella is greeted at the door by her daughter and boyfriend) It all just went away. And that was it. In that moment I wasn't angry anymore. I could see Stella was meant to be with Tony. Kids, you may think your only choices are to swallow your anger or to throw it in someone's face, but there's a third option: you can just let it go. And only when you do that is it really gone, and you can move forward.
How I Met Your Mother deconstructing this trope

Lester: You wanna talk about policework? I was doing the job when you was just dreaming on it. Daniels was out there too. Now you're gonna fuck him when he pulled you off a God-damn boat? Maybe Daniels plays a few games to get by, but he's cost himself plenty for the sake of the JOB. He's EARNED some loyalty!
McNulty: Fuck loyalty, and fuck you, Lester, I never thought I'd hear that "chain of command" horseshit come out of your mouth.
Lester: Motherfucker, I spent a lot of time in a lotta weak units! MORE than you! Now this here may not be perfect, but it's a chance to be police!
McNulty: Well then be one!
Lester: ...You're not even worth the skin off my knuckles, Junior. You put fire to everything you touch, McNulty, then you walk away while it burns. I got nothin' more to say to you. Nothing.

Siro: You looking for a fight, Kung Lao?
Kung Lao: If I were, it wouldn't be with you! I'd want a real challenge. Taja was right, you are a pig.
Siro: I've heard enough of this, take it back!
Kung Lao: Can't handle a little truth? How about some more? You're a used-up, freeloading bodyguard who couldn't even do that right when you had the job. You let Jen die!

We tried to poison you. We tried to poison you because you're an insane, degenerate piece of filth, and you deserve to die.
Walter White to Tuco, Breaking Bad

We had a good thing, you stupid son of a bitch! We had Fring, we had a lab, we had everything we needed, and it all ran like clockwork! You could have shut your mouth, cooked, and made as much money as you ever needed! It was perfect! But no! You just had to blow it up! You, and your pride and your ego! You just had to be the man! If you’d done your job, known your place, we’d all be fine right now!
Mike Ehrmantraut to Walter White, Breaking Bad

Hank: It was you. All along, it was you! You son of a bitch. You drove me into traffic to keep me from that laundry...
Walter: Calm down.
Hank: That call I got telling me Marie was in the hospital? That wasn't Pinkman. You had my cell number. You killed ten witnesses to save your sorry ass.
Walter: Listen to me.
Hank: You bombed a nursing home. Heisenberg. Heisenberg! You lying, two-faced sack of shit!
Walter: Hank, look... I don't–I don't know where this is coming from Hank, but–
Hank: I swear to Christ, I will put you under the jail.

You don't let anyone into your life that's not constantly concerned with you... what kind of mood you're in, whether you’re getting high or not, whether you're going to work like an adult or throw a temper tantrum. You know, most of the time, you’re worth it, 'cause you are special. Damned if you don't know it. But you are.
Captain Thomas Gregson to Sherlock Holmes, Elementary

Coach: You know, there is something to be learned from this.
Payson: Yeah, we learned that we need a coach. A real coach. Not a buddy. Not a teammate. A real coach.
Coach: OK, calm down, Payson. What exactly do you mean by "real" coach?
Payson: A real coach isn't afraid to be the bad guy if she has to be. A real coach would've told me not to go for a vault that I have never done without a practice tramp. A real coach would know better than to let me make a fool of myself and my team. And a real coach doesn't take her team out to party the night before a meet just because she wants the whole team to like her.

Berlin: You're a real happy cowboy, aren't you?
Nolan: Did...did you really just call me a "happy cowboy?"
Berlin: It's written all over your face. The way you carry yourself. That jokey tough guy schtick. I'll bet you watched Star Wars a few hundred times when you were a kid.
Nolan: You know, we've been through a long, bloody war. Some of us have developed this thing called a "sense of humor" to help us stay sane.
Berlin: Bull shtak. You're not trying to paper over your nasty wartime past. We all have that. You're trying to hide the fact that you like where it dumped you out. Driving around in that busted-ass roller with your hot Chewbacca, chupping whores, shooting people who cause you trouble. Call that hand cannon strapped to your side a "blaster", and you've got the complete picture. You're living your fantasy, and it only took ten years of an apocalyptic war and the near destruction of the earth's surface.

Carl Rockwell: *to the cop who's been questioning him* Go swallow a germ, you n——- cop!
Friday: Now you listen to me, you gutter-mouth punk. I've dealt with you before, and every time I did, it took me a month to wash off the filth. I'll tell you what you did to that four-year old girl out in Westlake Park: you staked out a bench like you've always done. You bought a sack of penny candy; you waited until the right little girl came along... You got her in your car. She started to cry; you hit her across the mouth twice. You cut her lip with your ring. Knocked out three of her teeth. And then you know what you did to her... Now, I didn't say that, Rockwell, you did. That's exactly what you told those officers who arrested you. They advised you of your constitutional rights before you opened your mouth. Now you're trying to tell us you didn't understand. Well, you're a liar... Like every hoodlum since Cain up through Capone, you've learned to hide behind some quirk in the law. And mister, you are a two-bit hoodlum. You've fallen twice for A.D.W.; burglary, three times. Twice for forcible rape; I tagged you for those. And now you've graduated: you've moved to the sewer. You're a child molester. And this isn't the first time; we have had you in here before. You were guilty then and mister, you're guilty now. And one last thing, you smart mouth punk: If the department doesn't question the color of his skin you damn well see you don't!
— The Dragnet 1966 TV movie

Dr. Carmichael: I thought it would be good for us to resume our dialogue. I know you'd rather be talking to the voice, but... you're gonna have to settle for talking to me.
Root: What do you wanna talk about?
Dr. Carmichael: I'd like to talk about something real, Robin. I know you're very smart. I'd love to know what you're really thinking. So, why don't we start with the truth.
Root: The truth? ...the truth is a vast thing. I see that now. Just how much truth there is. Where would we even begin?
Root: The truth is you are not very smart. In fact, you're only the forty-third smartest person in this building.
Dr. Carmichael: [smiling] Forty-third? Okay, uh, did your—your voice tell you that? That's based on what?
Root: Every standardized test you ever took averaged together, not including your medical boards, which you cheated on.
Dr. Carmichael: [stops smiling]
Root: The truth is, you smoke an average of nine cigarettes a week in the parking lot when you think no one's looking. The truth is that you visit a "massage parlor" once or twice a month, that you pay for it with crisp hundred dollar bills that you get out of the cash machine at the 7-11 across the street. The truth is that you fantasize on online forums about having sex with some of your patients, though not me—yet. I guess I'm not your type.
Dr. Carmichael: [swallows visibly]
Root: The truth is, God is eleven years old, that She was born on New Year's Day, 2002, in Manhatten. The truth is that She's chosen me. And I don't know why yet. That for the first time... I'm a little scared about what's gonna happen.
Dr. Carmichael: [tries not to look freaked out]
Root: The truth is I'm stuck here for now, and the only dialogue you need to be worried about is between me and Her. Which is why you might want to give me my phone back. Because I'm having an argument. ...would you like to know the truth, doctor? About what we're arguing over?
Dr. Carmichael: [swallows again]
Root: Whether or not I'm gonna kill you.

Face it, you're just circuits and sensors! You're nothing like me! You have no heart!
Dr. Tommy Oliver to his robotic doppleganger, Power Rangers Super Ninja Steel

You know, Mr. Bundy, I've worked at this library for 44 years. I was eligible for retirement 3 years ago. Do you know why I stayed? [...] I kept this job for one reason. I knew I'd nail you and I did. Pat Garret got Billy the Kid and I finally got you. My job is over. Today is my last day. You know, it's funny. I could've given you amnesty on the book. I would have for anybody else. But I always hated you. Is it wrong to hate a nine year old boy? No. Not when that boy is you. It's the joy of my life to see you grow up like I always knew you would — a total and complete loser. Today, when I get in my car and leave this place for the last time, I will be whole. Your shame is my gold watch.
Miss DeGroot to Al Bundy, Married... with Children

I can't help people... that can't help themselves and cannot, ever, take one ounce of criticism. And if you're not willing to change, I'm not gonna butt heads, argue, scream, whatever you want to say, but this is not normal. And it's not normal for a restaurant to go through that many staff, it's not normal for a kitchen that small to have 65 items on the menu, and it's not normal for the level of animosity you've built inside this restaurant and outside. You have the right to run the business the way you want to run the business; I have the right to do the right thing, and the right thing for me is to get out of here. Good luck.
Gordon Ramsay, to Amy and Samy Bouzaglo, Kitchen Nightmares

This is what I'm talking about, our kid. You've got to cut the fucking bullshit. Why the fuck are you still trying to make out you've fucking got something? When the fucking... when the damage has been done, we already look like a couple of fucking tits, yeah? You're already looking like a twat, yeah? This guy's too fucking clever for you, so shut your fucking mouth and fucking listen! If you do not turn it around today, 2:00, me and him are fucking off! Yeah? I ain't fucking staying here, Just! Cut the fucking crap to turn things round! He's here to turn things around! You can do it without me or fucking with me, cos I've had enough of this fucking charade, cos I don't need this fucking shit, and I've got to stand next to him and show me fucking tubs of fucking shit! That's what I'm fucking cooking! You've fucking done so nothing! [...] You're not fucking listening to him! He's trying to fucking tell you! I've fucking tried to tell you for two years about every fucking thing, food, bands, and I've told you that! But you don't fucking understand! SO SHOW HIM SOME FUCKING RESPECT, ELSE I'M FUCKING GOING AT 2:00, AND THAT'S FUCKING IT! That is it, no fucking bullshit!
Richie, to his "friend" Justin, Kitchen Nightmares

The first day I got here, I never even made it inside the bar. I got involved in a fight in the parking lot where your manager [Amanda] was fighting with you, Cerissa [the server]. At the end of that fight, you [Karen, co-owner and wife to husband Matt] looked at her and said she had it coming. And then I saw a video a few minutes ago that took me over the top, and I want an answer to this. Matt, Dave [the bartender], please explain this. (Cue video of Matt slapping Dave, screaming expletives, yelling "I'm military, motherf***er", and trying to bribe "Syck", the bouncer, with a $10 an hour raise if he throws Dave through a window.) You get a $10 raise, per hour, if you throw your own employee through a glass window... Your bar isn't what's wrong, your character is what's wrong. The problem is you guys think this is okay. You guys are a mess. My tolerance for an owner hitting an employee is zero. You have no responsibility. None. You see, I have a reputation and I have to protect it. And you will destroy it, just like you destroyed your own. The ultimate coup de grâce is an owner hitting an employee. I am not going to rescue a bar, and then read in a newspaper that somebody got hurt here next week. I won't have any part of it. Since I've been here, you guys have proven to me you don't have the fundamentals to begin running this business, and have proved to me how irresponsible you are. So here's the deal. I'm leaving. I am not rescuing your bar. My advice to you is this, as another human being; you need some help and you need to pull your lives together. And then maybe you can save your business. You need a counselor, not a bar professional. But I'm done. This is the first bar rescue I've ever walked out on. You blew it. I'm gone. Good night.
Jon Taffer to the staff of O'Face, Bar Rescue

Brother, why did you kill Father?! Just as Makoto said, there is no one around you anymore!!
Alain to Adel, Kamen Rider Ghost

Jax: I need you to call my mom, have her meet you here, tell her... you need to talk to her in private.
Wayne: Why? What's going on with Gemma?
Jax: It's family business.
Wayne: Oh... maybe you forgot our little deal. I'm done helping you, and the club.
Jax: This is about Tara.
Wayne: Oh, if you gave a shit about Tara maybe you'd spend a little less time being a thug and a little more time being a dad.
Jax: [pushes Wayne] You need to watch your mouth, old man.
Wayne: Oh yeah? Or what, whatcha gonna do, you gonna kill me, huh? Is that what you're gonna do, add me to your body count?! Huh?! Oh, you know what, maybe I should go into my trailer and stand in the kitchen, and wait for somebody to come along and stick a fork in my head!
Wayne Unser to Jackson Teller, Sons of Anarchy

Theo...? That's the DUMBEST thing I've ever heard in my life! No wonder you get D's in everything! You're afraid to try because you're afraid your brain is going to explode and it's going to ooze out of your ears. Now I'm telling you, you are going to try as hard as you can. And you're going to do it because I said so! I am your father! I brought you in this world, and I'll take you out!
Cliff to Theo, The Cosby Show

Brunt: This is not business, Quark... This is personal.
Quark: ...why? What have I ever done to you?
Brunt: Done to me? And you call your brother an idiot... Nothing you have ever done to me has been more than a minor inconvenience! No... Protecting your mother from an FCA audit, and secretly settling with your striking employees were nothing more than symptoms of a viral and insidious weakness. A weakness that makes me loathe you, not for what you've done, but for who you are, what you are!
Quark: A bartender?!
Brunt: A philanthropist!
Quark: I am not!
Brunt: You give your customers credit at the bar! You only take a thirty percent kickback from your employees' tips! You sold food and medicine to Bajoran refugees at cost!
Quark: That's not true! It was just above cost!
Brunt: Close enough! It was still a generous hoo-manitarian gesture! You've gone Starfleet, you might as well be wearing one of their uniforms! People like you give an honest Ferengi businessman a bad name!
Quark: I can reform! I'll start gouging the customers again! I'll revoke all my employees' vacation time!
Brunt: gave them vacations?!
Quark: I didn't give them anything! They contributed to a central fund which I manage!
Brunt: You disgust me!
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine ("Body Parts")

Kryten: I ask the court one key question: would the Space Corps ever have allowed this man to be in a position of authority where he might endanger the entire crew? A man so petty and small minded he would while away his evenings sowing name-tags on his ship-issue condoms. A man of such awesome stupidity —
Rimmer: Objection!
Justice Computer: Objection overruled.
Kryten: A man of such awesome stupidity he even objects to his own defence counsel. An overzealous, trumped-up little squirt—
Rimmer: Objection!
Justice Computer: Overruled.
Kryten: An incompetent vending machine repairman with a Napoleon complex, who commanded as much respect and affection from his fellow crew-members as Long John Silver's parrot.
Rimmer: Objection!!!
Justice Computer: If you object to your own counsel once more, Mr. Rimmer, you'll be in contempt.
Kryten: Who would permit this man — this joke of a man, this man who could not outwit a used teabag — to be in a position where he might endanger the entire crew? Who? Only a yoghurt. This man is not guilty of manslaughter. He is only guilty of being Arnold J. Rimmer. That is his crime. It is also his punishment. Defence rests.
Red Dwarf, in a rare case of this trope being used as the closing evidence in the defence of a criminal proceeding. And it works.

Becky: Dad, the bike's fine. Mark even adjusted the carburetor for you.
Dan: I never asked your punk boyfriend for a tune-up! I never gave you permission to take that bike out ever!
Becky: It was a stupid thing to do.
Dan: It was way beyond stupid. You know what this bike means to me, but you go behind my back and take it.
Becky: If I would've asked, you would've said no anyway.
Dan: That's right! What does that tell you?
Becky: Fine. So how long am I grounded for?
Dan: You don't get it, do you? This isn't some stupid curfew you broke.
Becky: Dad—
Dan: No! you've given us crap for months now. I've been on your side. I fought with your mom over you seeing Mark. I worked on this car deal. I'm tired of bending over backwards for you.
Becky: So if I'm not grounded, then what?
Dan: Then, uh, nothing. What's the point? You do what you want anyway.
Becky: Dad, I said I'm sorry.
Dan: I don't care. Just get the hell out of my sight.
Roseanne, "Her Boyfriend's Back"

Donna Halpern: You really have a low opinion of me, don't you?
Joe Friday: Does it matter?
Donna Halpern: You really don't think I'm worth much, do you? Isn't that your opinion?
Joe Friday: My opinion and 12 cents will buy you a cup of coffee.
Donna Halpern: Tell me what you think.
Joe Friday: I don't think, lady.
Donna Halpern: No, I wanna know. What's your opinion? You probably think I should go to the gas chamber, don't you? The little brat is still alive and kicking, so what's the big crime? Come on, you're a big strong policeman, you tell me. What's the crime?
Joe Friday: Let's you and me level with each other, lady. You want a soft answer to a hard question, now you fight that up with yourself. But I'll give you this much: you got yourself pregnant, strung along by the guy, and then he dropped you. Now maybe you should've known better, but a lot of women older than you have wound up in the same bind.
Donna Halpern: That's exactly right. It was all Tony's fault.
Joe Friday: Maybe. Until four days ago. Then you became responsible for a human life, but you had a choice and that's more than your baby had. Nobody asked her who she wanted for parents. Now maybe that boyfriend of yours is a two-timing punk, but that baby needed you far more than you needed him. And how did you answer her needs? You used your choice and took a human being, your own little girl, and you threw her out like a bag of garbage.
Donna Halpern: What's gonna happen to me?
Joe Friday: That's up to the court and your conscience. Or did you throw that away too while you were at it?
Dragnet, "Juvenile"

Sam: Hey, sorry I'm late.
Carly: (stern) You're always late.
Sam: So? It's cool, the show doesn't start for three more minutes. Where's Fred-weird?
Carly: Freddie's not coming.
Sam: What? Okay, he stayed home from school all week, he missed two iCarly rehearsals, and now he's gonna miss the show? That's so unprofessional.
Carly: (furious) You really hurt him! Every time he leaves the house, he gets teased 'cause you told the whole world he's never kissed anyone! You know he won't even talk to his mom?! He just sits on the fire escape alone 'cause he's too embarrassed to see anyone! You, like, ruined his whole life, and you don't even care!
Sam: Alright, I'll go apologize!
Carly: It doesn't even matter if you apologize! Kids are still gonna give him a hard time 'cause you can't take back what you said!
Sam: Look, I didn't mean—!
Carly: You went too far this time! And you can't fix it.
(a beeping cue is heard from offscreen)
Carly: (sigh) We gotta start the show.
Sam: Well, how can I do the show now that you made me feel all depressed?
Carly: I don't know. Just get in front of the camera and do it.
iCarly, "iKiss"

Carly: Seriously, why don't you two just pick up your forks and use them to jab each other in the eyes?!
Freddie: Okay, what are you doing?
Sam: You're supposed to be helping us solve our problems.
Carly: No! You two should be solving your own problems, not expecting me to be your 24/7 couples counselor! You think I wanna sit here at a table by myself having to fix every stupid little problem you guys have?! I could be at home right now eating moist chicken with Spencer and some icky chick from a hardware store! If you guys can't learn to work things out on your own... then you shouldn't be dating at all.
(she gets up and walks out, then returns seconds later and takes their food)
Carly: I deserve this lasagna.
iCarly, "iDate Sam and Freddie"

Donald Chapman: Don't worry. There's others who feel like me. Don't make much difference what happens to me. They'll get the job done, wait and see. There'll be other times.
Joe Friday: Now you listen to me, you wide-mouthed punk, we've heard just about all we want from you.
Donald Chapman: I know my rights. I know the law too! You'll want to know a lot more too, a motive for one thing!
Joe Friday: Hate'll do for a start, and try to put that walnut-sized brain of yours to work on this: you keep harping about minorities.
Donald Chapman: That's right.
Joe Friday: Well, mister, you're a psycho. And they're a minority too.
Dragnet, "The Big Explosion"

There are a couple of things I’d like to get off my chest. You see, ever since you crawled from out of the primordial soup and flopped on to the beach, I thought I was the one holding you back! Distracting you with shiny stuff and gun-powder, and then I was put on... the reserve bench, shall we say, and I thought "Oh well, that’s that, without me whispering in their ears – they’ll build utopia!" Well, deary me, I got that wrong. HE made you so he could retire, did you know that? You were meant to be the pinnacle of evolution, the creature so sophisticated and powerful you wouldn’t need HIM. And he could go back to his gardening and his word-search puzzles... But what do you do? You elect leaders that despise you and rob you of your freedom and dignity, you pollute and devour your Eden, you know beauty to be false but you prostrate yourselves before it. You think to be a philistine is honest, to be educated is cunning, you find the lowest common denominator and then you dig deeper. I was supposed to be the lesson, I was the warning, I was the villain, and you all became my tribute act! There is nothing I can do, nothing in all the palaces of the imagination worse than what you do to each other. You dragged the world to the brink of the abyss. Well done! And now, I'm just gonna give it that final nudge...
The Devil, Being Human (UK)

Callisto! When Xena burned your family, did you see the fire? Did you? Did you smell their flesh sizzling? You know what I think? You wanted them to die so you'd have a reason to be a bitch!
Gabrielle, Xena: Warrior Princess

How stupid of me to expect you people to be decent or humane. You think you're heroes, playing a part in the criminal justice system, the crusaders against oppression; well, you mighta' started out that way, but look at you now! The day to day stench of your clients has rubbed off! You're every bit as vile and contaminated as the murderers and rapists you defend! You bring no dignity to law! You proffer disgrace! Where you might once have been noble, you''ve sunk into a sinkhole of disrepute, where your only idealism is 'get the guy off', even when it offends human nature or it insults morality! You're so lost in the inferno of crime and dishonor, you've become sickening animals, repugnant to everything that's good about this country, everything this country celebrates in the spirit of humanity! You are sick, awful vehicles of hate! If there is a God, he will get you, you sleazy cancerous infected, malignant, grotesque snakes!
Richard Bay, The Practice

Hayley Cropper: Listen to her — Tracy Barlow, the living proof there's no justice in the world.
Tracy Barlow: Nope, that's why I should be running it. It would be a much better place.
Hayley Cropper: Your mother's ashamed of you, your daughter barely knows you, your donor kidney would reject you if it could, but here you are still buzzing around like the queen bee, passing judgements on everyone you meet.

Klaus Baudelaire: It's not the whole truth. You're manipulating the facts!
Count Olaf: So are you. You're not the innocent orphans you've let these people think you are. You've lied. You've stolen. You've abandoned people. You've set fires. Time after time, you have relied on treachery for survival, just like everybody else. Because here is the real truth that no one is willing to tell you. There are no noble people in the world.
Count Olaf's trial, which turns into a trial against the three Baudelaire orphans, A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017)

Kara: Will you shut up? [...] You're right. We have been through a lot together. Like that time when you promised you wouldn't leave the DEO, and instead you ran off, you got wasted. You were reckless, selfish, you lied, and you didn't apologize.
Mon-El: Kara, I -
Kara: And then there was the time I got you a job a CatCo. I vouched for you at my place of employment. And then you had Eve do all of your work for you, and then you screwed her in the closet. You didn't apologize for that. And, shocker, I apologized to you for trying to make you into a better person.
Mon-El: I hear you. I get it.
Kara: No, I don't think you do get it. I don't think you get that I gave my heart to a lying jackass, who was unaware of his behavior towards me, who disrespected me at every turn, and now is this reformed person who, what, he wants to reminisce about the good times?
Supergirl (2015), "In Search Of lost Time"

Listen, let me say something to you as a friend. You suck. All right? The reason you can't get work. It's not because people don't like you, man you know, it's not because people don't wanna give you a chance. It's because you suck. You know? You're not funny. You suck.
Will Smith, The Fresh Princeof Bel Air, "I, Clownius"

Lena: You know, Edge, you act like a bully, but underneath it all, you are scared to death of a powerful woman you can't control. You're so terrified, you would sacrifice kids, poison our water, do just about anything to kill me and get rid of the problem.
Morgan: And you got it wrong, Lena. I like powerful women. Nay, I love powerful women. But you're not a powerful woman. You're wasting away in that ivory tower. Posing as Cat Grant, hoping that the gleam of liberal media is gonna somehow magically rub off on you. I don't have to kill you, Lena, you're already dead.
Supergirl (2015), "For Good"

Cisco: Don't come at me, Nash; I'm not here to keep you in the loop. You're not even a part of this team.
Nash: Oh, that's so hurtful. How's your little team doing in the standings? Your little team...
Cisco: OK, you don't... see, this is exactly what I'm talking about. No, you don't care about the team. You only work with us when you want something from us.
Allegra: Yo, keep me out of this.
Cisco: So, what is it this time? You, you got a couple of glyphs you need Allegra to X-ray for you? Oh, or maybe you just wanna open up another Pandora's Box of hell?
Nash: Are you kidding me? I was the one to... I was the only one trying to stop Crisis!
Cisco: A Crisis you started! Billions of worlds, trillions of people gone, like they were never even born!
Nash: And I paid for it! As Pariah, I paid for it, and still managed to help defeat the Anti-Monitor.
Cisco: Which did nothing for the people who died. Oliver; Harry; Jesse. An infinite number of Harrison Wells... and we're stuck with the one who killed the multiverse.
The Flash (2014), "Marathon"

Brent: I'm kinda freaking out over here, man. You're my only real friend—
Chidi: I am not your friend, I don't even like you.
Brent: But you helped me.
Chidi: Yeah. I did. Because I have this stupid moral code that forces me to help everyone, but you have never helped anyone, because you don't care about other people, which is the bare minimum that a person has to do, just care, a little, about the other people around you, and you, can't do it!
Brent: ... What are you trying to say here?
Chidi: You are. A bad. Person.

Principal Rimkus: Your students walked across town to be taught by you. It's hard to get them to walk down the hall to most classes. Would you consider...
Haley: I love teaching but I would never sacrifice my beliefs in order to teach. You fired me right here in front of all my students because you could. So, congratulations, you made a good teacher not want to teach and good students not want to learn. Be proud of that.
One Tree Hill,"Letting Go"

Edgar: What do you know about Frederick Vought?
Homelander: Excuse me?
Edgar: Frederick. Vought. Our esteemed founder.
Homelander: Oh, I dunno, not a lot, probably. I only read his autobiography five times?
Edgar: Not the self-serving bullshit that we peddle to the shareholders; the real story.
Homelander: Enlighten me.
Edgar: Got his doctorate from Munich. Ahead of his time in genetics. Such the rising young star that in '39, Hitler appointed him chief physician at Dachau, where he enjoyed a ready supply of human subjects on which to test his earliest iterations of Compound V... for which we condemn in the strongest of possible terms. Early in '44, he felt the winds change, got spirited away to the Allies. When Oppenheimer was flailing with the bomb, Dr. Vought already had practical applications of Compound V tested in the field. Heroes like Soldier Boy, killing Germans by the dozen. So, Roosevelt pardoned him, and he became as Wonder Bread American as Disney and Edison.
Homelander: Well, this is a truly fascinating, if not slightly condescending, lecture, but, uh... I don't think I see the point, Stan.
Edgar: The point is that you are under a misconception that we are a superhero company. We are not. What we are, really, is a pharmaceutical company. And you are not our most valuable asset; that would be our confidential formula for Compound V, which you, manchild that you are, released into the wild.
Homelander: (snorts) Don't know what you're talking about.
Edgar: Well, let me remind you: you slipped Compound V to terrorists all over the globe to get you and your cronies into national defense, but maybe at the cost of destroying the whole company.
Homelander: I don't think I appreciate your tone, sir. Not much at all.
Edgar: And I don't appreciate that the FDA now knows about Compound V, or that it's only a matter of time before the public finds out. While you're preening at the Golden Globes, we're busy running around like maniacs trying to clean up the mess you made. I don't have to consult you about Stormfront or anything else. Now, I believe you have a premiere of Tek Knight Lives to go to?

    Game of Thrones 
Game of Thrones:

Tyrion: I heard there was some trouble in Littlefinger's brothel the other night.
Slynt: Nasty business. Had to be done.
Tyrion: Of course. The city watch must keep the peace. Only....I hadn't realized peace depended on killing babies.
Tyrion: You've heard the awful rumors about my brother and sister?
Slynt: I don't listen to filth.
Tyrion: That's good of you. But you have heard the rumors. I suppose the people who do believe that "filth" also believe that Robert's bastards have a better claim to the throne than Cersei's children.
Slynt: Joffrey is my king, and the rest doesn't interest me.
Tyrion: I appreciate your loyalty. Tell me... When your men slaughtered Ned Stark's men in the throne room, did you give the order?
Slynt: I did. And I would again. The man was a traitor. He tried to buy my loyalty.
Tyrion: The fool! He had no idea your loyalty was already bought.
Slynt: Are you drunk? I'll not have my honor questioned by an imp!
Tyrion: I'm not questioning your honor, Lord Janos. I'm denying its existence.
Slynt: (leaps up) If you think I'll stand there and take this from you, dwarf-
Tyrion: "Dwarf?" You should have stopped at "imp". And yes, you will stand here and take it from me, unless you'd like to take it from my friend here [Bronn appears behind them.] I intend to serve as Hand of the King until my father returns from the war, and seeing as you betrayed the last Hand of the King, well, I just wouldn't feel safe with you lurking about.
— "The Night Lands"

You don't know cold. Neither of you do. The horses died first. Didn't have enough to feed them, to keep them warm. Eating the horses was easy... but later, when we started to fall... that wasn't easy. We should've had a couple of boys like you along, shouldn't we? Soft, fat boys like you. We'd have lasted a fortnight on you, and still have bones left over for soup. Soon we'll have new recruits, and you lot will be passed along to the Lord Commander for assignment. And they will call you "men of the Night's Watch," but you'd be fools to believe it. You're boys, still. And come the winter, you will die... like flies.
Alliser Thorne to Samwell Tarly & Jon Snow, "Cripples, Bastards & Broken Things"

You're blessed with abilities that few men possess. You're blessed to belong to one of the most powerful families in the kingdoms, and you're still blessed with youth. What have you done with these blessings, eh? You served as a glorified bodyguard for two kings — one a mad man, the other a drunk.
Tywin Lannister to Jaime Lannister, "You Win or You Die"

Tyrion: Oh, you blind bloody fool!
Joffrey: You can't insult me.
Tyrion: We've had vicious kings, and we've had idiot kings, but I don't know if we've ever been cursed with a vicious idiot for a king!
Joffrey: You can't.
Tyrion: I can and I am.
Joffrey: They attacked me!
Tyrion: They threw a cow pie at you, so you decided to kill them all! They're starving, you fool! All because of a war you started!
Joffrey: You're talking to a king!
[Tyrion slaps Joffrey]
Tyrion: And now I've struck a king. Did my hand fall from my wrist?

You are an ill-made, spiteful little creature full of envy, lust, and low cunning. Men's laws give you the right to bear my name and display my colors since I cannot prove that you are not mine. And to teach me humility, the gods have condemned me to watch you waddle about wearing that proud lion that was my father's sigil and his father's before him. But neither gods nor men will ever compel me to let you turn Casterly Rock into your whorehouse. Go, now. Speak no more of your rights to Casterly Rock. Go!
Tywin Lannister to Tyrion Lannister, "Valar Dohaeris"

I don't distrust you because you're a woman. I distrust you because you're not as smart as you think you are. You've allowed that boy to run roughshod over you and everyone else in this city.
Tywin Lannister to Cersei Lannister, "And Now His Watch Is Ended"

Have you ever sowed the field, Lady Olenna? Have you ever reaped the grain? Has anyone in House Tyrell? A lifetime of wealth and power has left you blind in one eye. You are the few, we are the many. And when the many stop fearing the few... (smirks and walks off)
The High Sparrow to Lady Olenna Tyrell, "The Gift"

I wonder if you're the worst person I've ever met. At a certain age, it's hard to recall, but the truly vile do stand out through the years. Do you remember the way you smirked at me when my grandson and granddaughter were dragged off to their cells? I do. I'll never forget it. [...] I'm leaving this wretched city as fast as I can before that shoeless zealot throws me into one of his cells. If you're half as bright as you think you are, you'll find a way out of here, too. [...] You have no support, not anymore. Your brother's gone. The High Sparrow saw to that. The rest of your family have abandoned you. The people despise you. You're surrounded by enemies, thousands of them. You going to kill them all by yourself? You've lost, Cersei. It's the only joy I can find in all this misery.
Lady Olenna Tyrell to Cersei Lannister, "The Broken Man"

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