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    Season 1 
Episode 1 - "Pilot"
  • Mr Pool's first biology lesson:
    "As we dissect the frog, we'll be looking for the kidneys, the heart and my lost youth."
  • Sabrina's accidental revenge on Libby: making her magically unable to put lipstick on her lips.
  • When Sabrina is still in denial, the spellbook floats in the air and follows her upstairs. Melissa Joan Hart's scream when she sees it is priceless.
  • One of Hilda's warnings is that witches still can't get rid of cellulite.
  • Sabrina is warned not to stare at Drell's mole. It turns out it's a pet mole.
    • This turns into a Brick Joke when Hilda goes to demand Drell grant Sabrina's request.
  • Sabrina's little oxymoron: "Woo-hoo I'm normal! Gotta go tell the cat!"

Episode 2 - "Bundt Friday"

  • Sabrina uses magic to pull a rabbit out of a hat...only for the rabbit to ask to be sent back, since his wife is about to give birth.
    Hilda: Happens a lot with rabbits.
  • Salem reveals he read Sabrina's diary, leading to her invoking That Poor Cat.
  • Libby tries and fails to make up a rumour about Sabrina getting a nose job to Harvey.
  • The truth sprinkles prompt the Guidance Counsellor to reveal he really wants to play a harmonica...which he does right there in his office.
  • A Jerk Jock reveals to Gordie that he's still a virgin. Gordie excitedly says he is too, then the two boys feel incredibly awkward.
  • Drell's gift when he stands Hilda up is a potroast. When he's going to be late, he just sends half a potroast.
    "Flowers wilt. Say it with beef."
  • Zelda regrets Sabrina's newfound Brutal Honesty when her niece tells her the dress she's wearing is hideous.
    • Turns into a Brick Joke when Zelda is wearing something else in the next scene, which Sabrina points out.

Episode 3 - "The True Adventures of Rudy Kazootie"

  • Sabrina tries to conjure up rollerblades, but gets the Bland-Name Product 'Roller Blahs', complete with a picture on the box of a kid with his arm in a sling.
    • Later Sabrina can only conjure up "Schmickers", "N&Ns", "Butterthumbs", "Popsi" and "Hey Over Here".
    Harvey: Where do these people shop?
  • One of the jobs on the board is for babysitting triplets. The other girl says it's been up there for years.
  • The mother tries to leave the house with the baby, before realising Sabrina "will need this" to babysit
  • Sabrina's reaction to turning Rudy into an adult - "I broke the baby!"
  • Turns out Mr Pool and Aunt Zelda already met in a chatroom and they geek out, while Hilda is having a horrible time.
  • Hilda and Zelda call the passion spell a 'Randy Travis Spell', because they frequently use it to conjure up Randy Travis. He's apparently quite used to it now.
    "My wife does wonder where I keep popping off to."
    • And this turns into a Brick Joke when he's at home doing a jigsaw with them.
    • And when Sabrina conjures up Eddie Cibrian, he goes downstairs to join them.
    • She tries to conjure up Brad Pitt next just as the episode ends. The novelization makes it even funnier by adding "Sabrina found that there were some things even witches couldn't do."
    • And that last one becomes Hilarious in Hindsight with another novelization - where Brad Pitt is conjured up. This time by a mortal making a wish.
  • When the parents get home, the mother wistfully asks if having another baby is an option - to which her husband immediately replies no.

Episode 4 - "Terrible Things"

Episode 5 - "A Halloween Story"

  • Right after Sabrina creates a double to send to Harvey's party, we discover Hilda also creating one she was going to send to the family thing.
  • Hilda and Zelda's revenge on Cousin Marigold.
    Zelda: Thank you so much for going to all this trouble.
    Hilda: Planning the party, preparing the food, divorcing Harold.
    Marigold: I...what?!
    Zelda: Oh we know all about it. The cat blabbed.
    Hilda: Oh don't worry, you'll love being alone. Filling your days with romance novels, internet chatrooms and lean cuisine.
    Marigold: Oh God, I'm going to be just like you!
    Marigold bursts into tears
    • Earlier in the episode the two sisters reveal they both got each other presents despite agreeing not to. The CMOH morphs into a CMOF when they unwrap their presents to find they've both gotten each other the same tea towel.
    Zelda: We've been living together way too long.
  • Marigold finally disciplining Amanda is both this and awesome - poofing her into a jar when she misbehaves.
  • Libby getting Sabrina's double to streak backfires on her epically when the real Sabrina walks in and the whole thing looks like Libby herself was the one who streaked.

Episode 6 - "Dream Date"

  • While building Chad, Hilda eats some of the dough off one arm. This turns into a Brick Joke later when Sabrina tells Harvey that Chad isn't great because one arm is longer than the other.
  • Hilda accurately predicts that Zelda's dream date is a "milk-swilling fireman" - because she knows what Zelda's Guilty Pleasure reads are.
  • When the sisters fight over Zelda's date and tear his arm off, he's sadder that the arm they tore off was the one holding his milk.
  • The Stinger has Libby reporting Chad missing to the police, who promptly remind her that she has to wait 24 hours before he can be considered missing.

Episode 7 - "Third Aunt From The Sun"

  • Mr Pool tries to mock "Funky Song" by saying in his day they had good music.
    Harvey: Mr Pool, didn't you grow up in The '70s?
    beat.
    Mr Pool: Point taken.
  • When the biology class insist Vesta teach them some actual science, it cuts to the very end of the lesson where she has finished explaining something very complicated. When we later know what kind of person Vesta is, it's even funnier.
  • Vesta finishes off the lesson by saying "Well that's it for today. Forget everything I said."
  • Aunt Vesta hires Hilda's string trio to get her away for the weekend. Where does she hire them for? The infield of Daytona International Speedway during the 39th running of the Daytona 500. Even better - when Zelda tells Hilda they were tricked by Vesta, Hilda claims her trick backfired because her string trio got hired for the next Indy 500.
    • And before that, Vesta mentions that she gave Mr. Pool a "Twenty four hour bug." It cuts to a horrified Mr. Pool fighting off a gigantic bug trying to eat him in his bathroom. By the episode's end, Pool wakes up on the bathroom floor and figures he dreamed the whole thing, but freaks out when he sees a fly.
  • When Sabrina spies on her friends, both Harvey and Salem are singing "Funky Song" in front of the mirror. And when she returns home, Sabrina lets Salem know she saw everything - which gets a Big NO from the cat.

Episode 8 - "Magic Joel"

  • When Joel turns invisible, Sabrina wonders where he would possibly check out first. Gilligan Cut to the girls' locker room.
  • The entire portion with Zelda's fellow scientist Ethan coming over for dinner.
    Ethan: Aren't they all the same?
    Hilda: Actually, 2 is very different.
    Ethan: I've been playing footsie with you all night!
    Zelda: That was you? I thought it was the cat!
    • After the whole thing is resolved (which happens in about a minute), Zelda and Ethan invoke a Leave the Two Lovebirds Alone by closing the dining room doors on themselves with a ridiculously over the top Held Gaze.
    Salem: Animals.

Episode 9 - "Geek Like Me"

  • Hilda's junk includes a set of plate mail armour, a mace and a cannon. Zelda demands that Hilda find a use for every single item. Cue Sabrina walking out, seeing the cannon and swearing she'll clean her room. Zelda finds this Actually Pretty Funny.
    • Hilda attempts to use the armour by lounging on the couch. And Zelda finds a use for it by zapping the helmet on to shut her up.
  • Jenny proving to be Not So Above It All.
    "People are laughing at Libby. I know it's mean to say this, but YES!"
  • Harvey's idiocy at thinking Libby is a nice person because she always says hi to him.
  • Sabrina's first idea for punishing Libby is to give her a snout. Zelda takes her to get some advice from someone in the magic book - and he suggests the snout too.
  • Libby's rather epic speech about what it's like to be a geek.
    "If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you pinch us, do we not shriek and pass out?"
  • Sabrina explains how she learned the episode's Aesop but elaborates "it's actually more complex, but I had to put it in layman's terms for Aunt Hilda". Zelda pipes in she has to do it all the time.
  • The Stinger has us hearing Hilda apparently using her cannon to win a water balloon fight with a boy across the street.
    • The set up is what makes it. Sabrina comes into the kitchen, complaining about the kid throwing water balloons. Zelda just says Hilda is taking care of it. Cue Hilda shouting "prepare to be boarded, Timmy!" - followed by an almighty bang.

Episode 12 - "Trial By Fury"

  • Sabrina's attempts to study for the math test are thwarted by Harvey humming "Funky Song". When she gets him to stop, she's even distracted by him nodding his head silently. He understandably tries to then turn a page very quietly so as not to upset her.
  • Melissa Joan Hart's sister Elizabeth has a cameo as a girl who gets locked out of class for being a few seconds late after the bell.
    Gordie: I think she stopped to help that kid in the wheelchair.
  • Hilda's attempts at talking to the Sadist Teacher just end up revealing how bad she is at math.
    "I didn't have a chance to study for this meeting!"
  • Zelda tries to stop Hilda and Sabrina from using a big cauldron to cast the Just Desserts spell - at least until she talks to the teacher. After she has a run-in with him, Gilligan Cut to the Spellmans using an even bigger cauldron to cast the spell. Dressed like traditional Wicked Witches too!
    • During Zelda's meeting with Mr Rockwell, she notices Hilda and Sabrina's revenge spell has kicked in - as his buttocks has now enlarged. He ends the meeting by saying he has to hit the gym.
  • While at the trial, Hilda stops her questioning the arresting officer by trying to flirt with him.

Episode 13 - "Jenny's Non Dream"

  • Jenny gets a good Deadpan Snarker line when she insists on cleaning up.
    "My parents forced manners on me. I may as well use them."
  • Zelda's book club turns out to be literally two brains in jars with telekinesis.
  • Sabrina created a list of topics for Hilda to talk about at dinner. The first topic is 'towels'. And during dinner, Hilda finishes what sounds like a Rousing Speech about how towels have shaped their nation. She's about to move to the next topic - the collapse of the economy on the Isle of Man - before the lint gremlin mercifully interrupts them.
    • As she finishes her speech, there's a shot of Salem yawning. He's so bored he's forgotten to uphold The Masquerade.
  • When Sabrina freaks out at the repairman having a tail, Zelda accuses her of being "a rumpist" - someone who judges others by their rear ends.
    Sabrina: It's not me I'm worried about; it's Jenny.
  • And when they can't find Jenny in the Other Realm, Sabrina questions how Zelda thinks everything will turn out fine.
    Zelda: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.
  • The Rule Bearer is magnificent. The best part is when Sabrina starts to cry over what happened to Jenny. The Rule Bearer informs her that Rule Number 555 is "no blubbering".

Episode 14 - "Sabrina Through the Looking Glass"

  • Sabrina's biosphere project was meant to show the environment of the rainforest, but she dropped it. This leads to a Running Gag of everyone saying it's just a jar of dirt.
    "It's called 'deforestation!'
  • Harvey decides to salvage the presentation by using a monkey puppet to talk about life in the rainforest. Sabrina is hiding under her hat in embarrassment, but Mr Pool loves it!
  • Sabrina proudly storms in from her bad day at school and announces she made it a snow day.
    "I blanketed the entire northeast!"
  • Alternate!Zelda is so stressed she conjures up cold porridge for Sabrina's breakfast.
    "I'm sorry, Goldilocks! The kitchen is closed!"
  • Alternate!Hilda inexplicably has a (literal!) black cloud over her head that's raining.
    "Good news. The living room drought is over"
  • Alternate!Harvey notices something different about Alternate!Jenny (who has gotten a terrible short haircut).
    Harvey: Are those new earrings?
    Jenny: Actually they are.
    Harvey: And people tell me I'm not perceptive.
  • Sabrina also hangs a lampshade on Brady Anderson being able to follow her around to offer advice while still being a star baseball player.
    "I'm your spirit guide. Plus it's the off season."
  • Libby may be turned back from being a goat, but she still has a lingering desire to eat paper. Digestion is going to be fun for her over the next couple of days.

Episode 15 - "Hilda & Zelda: The Teenage Years"

  • When her aunts have become teenagers, Sabrina teaches them that they have to say "cool" a lot. They start practicing, prompting Salem to shudder at how creepy it is.
  • Sabrina conjures up an appropriate teenage outfit for Zelda.
    Sabrina: It's alright, you're sixteen.
    Zelda: I am not leaving this house dressed like a hussy!
    • And at the end of the episode when they change back, the aunts scream when they realise what they're wearing.
  • Sabrina referring to Libby as The Little Match Girl.
    • As she's also wearing dark glasses in the middle of the night, Sabrina Trolls her by screaming "manhole cover!" when the line starts moving.
  • Sabrina having to play the stern parent to Hilda when she runs off with a security guard's badge.
  • As the Violent Femmes are performing, Hilda and Zelda start square-dancing with each other. Sabrina of course is mortified.

Episode 16 - "Mars Attracts"

  • Minor one but when Sabrina wants her aunts to leave her and Harvey alone, the random excuse she comes up with is that they suddenly need to take a nap. It's cute to see the aunts immediately playing along with it.
  • Zelda coming back from a night of skiing with tan lines over where her goggles were.
  • After the whole episode leading us to believe Warren is just lying about being a secret agent, it turns out he is as he's abducted by a Star Trek-esque beam in the middle of the hotel lobby.
  • Salem throws a wild party while the girls are away that apparently is made up of just animals.

Episode 17 - "First Kiss"

Episode 18 - "Sweet Charity"

  • Libby throws some casual taunts the girls' way.
    Libby: Freak...frizzy freak.
    Jenny: Frizzy!? These happen to be curls!
  • Harvey assures the girls that they can fake a person.
    "I hear Russia's on their third Boris Yeltsin."
  • Sabrina tries to get revenge on Libby by turning one of her socks a different colour. She orders Jill and CeeCee to swap socks, making it look like a trend. Later on they make fun of people for wearing matching socks.
  • Nana proves herself to be a Cool Old Lady.
    "An awkward silence. It's like we really are family."
  • Libby discovering that Leonardo DiCaprio did not in fact make Nana's chocolate turtles.
    Sabrina: Eat it. Let the sugar comfort you.
  • Sabrina manages to explain the Libby business to Harvey by saying she just has multiple personalities. And while pretending to Libby, she pointedly makes sure Harvey sees her picking her nose. Harvey also gives this epic line to the real Libby.
    "I think I liked your other personality better. Even if she did pick her nose."

Episode 19 - "Cat Showdown"

  • When Hilda and Zelda go shopping at Half Moon, Hilda tries to take a free sample (ignoring the 'No Free Samples' sign) and gets turned into a dwarf.
  • On the entry form, Sabrina lists Salem as "An American shorthair...and darn proud of it".
  • Sabrina's reaction to having to parade Salem in front of the judges, made hilarious by Melissa Joan Hart's deadpan delivery.
    "This is the cheesiest thing I've ever done."
  • Through some magic, the witches discover that the blackmailer is missing an index finger. And all three suspects are revealed to share this deformity.
    • And Hailey's explanation? "I used to keep wolverines."

Episode 20 - "Meeting Dad's Girlfriend

  • It turns out even all powerful witches can't open jars if they're female.
    • At one point Sabrina comes downstairs to find that Edward has opened every jar in the kitchen.
    • It then becomes a Running Gag that Hilda and Zelda are eating everything in the jars just while they're open.
  • Gail says she can't talk with Sabrina until she gets through all the papers on her desk. So Sabrina zaps them onto the floor.
  • Gail is introduced having gotten the day off work because Drell randomly decided to incinerate the judge.

Episode 21 - "As Westbridge Turns"

  • Sabrina opens a literal Can of Worms to make her life more like a Soap Opera. Of course the school becomes a World of Ham.
  • The first instance of the Can of Worms working is Mr Pool announcing to the biology class that they'll be learning about reproduction. Cut to the end of the lesson with all the students wide-eyed and astonished.
  • The Running Gag of Nurse Nancy getting a cold compress for every injury.
    Libby: Is that all you do?
    Nancy: My hands are tied by the state.
  • Jenny getting trapped in the air vent while wasps are attacking her. The janitor tries to get a ladder to save her - but Jenny simply falls out the vent. She then says her hair broke her fall.
  • The Contrived Coincidence becomes fantastic when the detective who arrested Sabrina and the MC of the fashion show discover they are long lost siblings.

Episode 22 - "The Great Mistake"

  • Hilda's weak attempts at trying to prove she didn't steal Zelda's racket.
    Zelda: Then why is there a Z on it?
    Hilda: I once lost to Zorro?
    • Zelda then produces a list of everything Hilda ever borrowed and never returned. After the flashback of them as children in the Middle Ages, she reminds herself to add 'abacus' to the list.
  • Zelda's first kiss happened when she was 16. Hilda of all people didn't have one until she was 48.
  • The Acropolis is apparently in ruins because Hilda was angry at being left at the altar.
    "Fortunately history has blamed the Turks."

Episode 23 - "The Crucible"

  • Libby ends up paired with Mr Pool for the Puritan living weekend.
  • Getting Crap Past the Radar in the courtroom. Libby says that Jenny was with Adam - unescorted. Cue Mr Pool saying "how unseemly".
  • An epic Brick Joke from the second episode.
    Mr Pool: There will be no secrets from the courtroom.
    Sabrina: Then ask Jill if that's her real nose!
    • Bonus points for the Oh, Crap! look that appears on Jill's face.
  • Jenny's wonderful Comically Missing the Point during her witch trial.
    "I'm pretty sure my spectre was with me the entire time."
    "My spectre and I thank you."
    • When the crowd convicts her of being a witch...
    "Oh man, is this going on my record?"

Episode 24 - "Troll Bride"

     Season 2 
Episode 1 & 2 - "Sabrina Gets Her Licence"
  • Quizmaster's first appearance is zapping into Sabrina's room and talking like a radio DJ. A half-asleep Sabrina slaps the top of his head, thinking he's her clock radio.
  • Sabrina accidentally lets slip about magic to Valerie, and tries to pretend it's Westbridge slang for cursing.
  • When Harvey calls Sabrina "birthday girl", Valerie needs clarification if that's just her nickname.
  • Sabrina tries to appeal to her drill sergeant to let her go to Harvey's dance. His response? Zapping her hair into a flattop.
  • Hilda and Zelda's first attempt at using the labtop somehow poofs them into a car with Erik Estrada.
  • When Sabrina is busted for escaping, among her offences include "giving a canine officer a non-food substance", referring to the guard dog eating Harvey's poster.
    "Hey, he picked that fight."
  • When Hilda and Zelda come to pick Sabrina up, the drill sergeant gets bad memories of when Hilda was at Witch Camp - and runs off screaming.
    Hilda: Isn't that sweet? He remembers me.
  • Sabrina imagines Harvey's reaction to telling him they need to see less of each other. Big "NO!" and Inelegant Blubbering right there in the school hallway.
  • While looking through the handbook for a 'No Pain' spell, one of the options is No No Nanette.

Episode 3 - "Dummy For Love"

  • The fact that Mr Kraft falls for Hilda while she's taking a chainsaw to a tree growing in the kitchen.
  • Libby takes over as editor and abuses her power so that Sabrina can't write anything except transcribing lunch menus. Sabrina's revenge? Having pies spill out of Libby's locker.
    "I don't even like pie!"
  • Sabrina distracting Hilda with Crocodile Tears. Hilda's trying to comfort her in between checking her watch.
  • While in the middle of lecturing Sabrina about turning Hilda into a dummy, Zelda takes the time to ask about "that awful dress" Sabrina put her in.
  • The Stinger of Salem and Cupid disagreeing over a job.
    Salem: Is it because I'm a cat and she's a woman?
    Cupid: No, it's because you're a cat and she's Shari Lewis!
  • Salem showing Zelda a photoshopped picture of him with Mother Theresa.
  • Sabrina's punishment for putting a spell on Hilda is to be buried in the garden with only her head above ground. When it starts raining, they just conjure an umbrella for her. Sabrina says the last thing she needs is a lightning rod.

Episode 4 - "Dante's Inferno"

  • Hilda's 'punitis' in its full glory:
    • She conjures up ice cream and gets an eye screaming in the freezer.
    • "I don't expect a real monkey on my back" - Davey Jones of The Monkees appears out of thin air.
    • "Cat got your tongue?" - Salem is now playing with Zelda's tongue.
    • She tells Sabrina "you've got to play the field" - her niece is poofed into a field hockey game.
    • Tells Zelda she can be a real dictator - Zelda turns into Fidel Castro.
    • She says Zelda's date is "a real dear" - cue an actual deer in the living room.
    • Refers to Dante as "a bonehead" - Dante appears in the living room with a bone sticking between his ears.
    "Come on. I've got my school pictures tomorrow."
  • Sabrina ranting about Harvey's date being called Jean.
    "Jean? It's not a name; it's a pair of pants."
    • And Davey Jones poofs into the room to sing "cheer up sleepy Jean".
  • The aunts trying to organise dates:
    Hilda: Every man we know is either married, busy or disgusting.
    Zelda: Several are all three.
  • When Hilda accidentally turns Zelda's date into a deer, she asks if they're still going out.
  • Hilda reminisces...
    "I remember the last time a boy got me a star. The next thing I know, three Wise Men were at the door."
  • At the very end, Davey Jones is trying to teach the Spellmans to line dance. But Hilda keeps grabbing his ass.

Episode 5 - "A Doll's Story

  • Hilda and Zelda have an Escalating War of annoying sounds in the opening. Before Sabrina calls a stop to it, Zelda has conjured up a blackboard. Cue a Big "NO!" from Salem as she lifts him - claws first - towards it. Beth Broderick can be seen grinning as she does this.
  • Valerie meets Amanda...
    Amanda: I'm from the fourth galaxy of the Other Realm. Where are you from?
    Valerie: I'm from a big castle in Never-Never Land.
    Amanda: You're delusional.
  • After Amanda turn Salem into a panther
    "I wanted to eat you. I feel so cheap".
  • Amanda wants to put make-up on Salem.
    Salem: We are not playing la cage au kitty.
  • Poor Salem gets a raw deal at the hands of Amanda in this episode - and it's hysterical. She catapults him off a see-saw, dresses him in a frilly nightgown for a tea party and is playing 'giddee-up' with him off-screen.
  • Sabrina's first attempt at getting Amanda to let her out of the toy box?
    Sabrina: I need to go to the bathroom.
    Amanda: You're not a Betsy Wetsy.
  • At the Other Realm spa, whenever someone schedules an appointment, there's a loud narrator confirming it. After Hilda and Zelda argue about who should have what, Zelda finally schedules something...and wonders why the narrator isn't confirming it. She can only respond "I see why you wanted two rooms..."
  • Madam Dermis has a famous facial that involves literally peeling someone's face off and putting it through an old fashioned mangle - then hanging it up to dry.

Episode 6 - "Sabrina The Teenage Boy"

  • After turning herself into a boy, Sabrina goes to put perfume on, only for Salem to warn her (him?) not to - to avoid getting beaten up.
  • Hilda and Mr Kraft getting into a fist fight in the living room. Zelda recognises Hilda despite her male disguise - implying this is not the first time she's done this.
  • Sabrina has to explain to Libby that Jack ran out on their date.
    "I listened to pepper for him. Doesn't he know who I am!"

Episode 7 - "A River of Candy Corn Runs Through It"

  • The others scoff at Sabrina's idea that talking furniture were people enchanted.
  • As Sabrina stresses about her party, one of the armchairs tries to sit her to be comforting. Sabrina jumps up, going "creepy!"
  • Poor Valerie is the only person to arrive in costume - as a giant duck at that.
    "Why didn't I take my little brother's taunting seriously?"
  • The Other Realm apparently has Halloween Carollers. And their specialty is 'The 10,000 Days of Halloween'.
  • When Harvey has to take his little brother and friends trick or treating, they swarm the poor old lady offering them candy. She responds by decking Harvey with her bag.
  • Valerie falling through the living room floor. Zelda is for once extremely unhelpful.
    Sabrina: Are you okay?
    Zelda: Quack once for yes, twice for no.
    Valerie: I'm okay. The tail feathers broke my fall.
  • Hilda tries to hide the candy corn cauldron from Valerie by throwing her hands up and yelling "Zelda's naked", with Sabrina then trying to say Zelda is having a mid-life crisis.
    • Earlier Zelda could be seen carrying wood down to the cellar to feed to the termites - trying to pass it off as "working on my triceps". Valerie probably needed little persuading.

Episode 8 - "Inna Gadda Sabrina"

  • Salem trying to cheat on his diet.
    Salem: Sabrina, my love—
    Sabrina: No! And I know you ate my lipbalm.
  • After Salem is caught in the pantry, he puts can opener on his Christmas list. Hilda counters he wouldn't be able to use a can opener. Salem says it's "to hit you with".
  • Hilda is continually whining about Zelda throwing out her jeans. Zelda wordlessly conjures up a smashed vinyl.note 
  • Quizmaster on the phone with his landlord about a mouse in his apartment. An Other Realm mouse that's man-sized.
    "He makes long distance phone calls, he plays my CDs without putting them back and he chewed a hole in my couch. Oh he denied it, but I know it was him"...beat..."Whether he contributes to the rent is beside the point."
    • Sabrina is surprised he has a landlord. He quips "did you think I lived in a magic lamp?", to which Sabrina responds with a Blunt "Yes".
  • Seeing the aunts as hippies is fantastic.
    Zelda: I hear bells. Have I reached Nirvana?
    Hilda: No, that's just the telephone.
    • Zelda's suggestion for looking for the time ball is "fill the house with positive vibes and the muses will guide us".
  • While the colleges' sexism is Played for Drama, Harvey's is played for laughs.
    Sabrina: I stopped listening after "my lady".
  • Sabrina rallies her aunts to stop Salem running off with the time ball - "unless you want a great nephew born in the back of a van named Moonbeam, grab him!"
  • Mrs Quick as a Second Wave Feminist is priceless. She calls for Sloppy Joes to be renamed 'Sloppy Sues'.
    "Remember, Sabrina. A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle."

Episode 9 - "Witch Trash"

  • The Other Realm mortgage place is a fantastic Parental Bonus for anyone who worked in a bank before computers were widespread. Apparently if a house is under threat of foreclosure, it starts to fill up with sand.
  • Boyd describes the Spellman house as "like the Taj Mahal with indoor plumbing".
  • Maw Maw discovers that Harvey and Valerie are mortal and now wails that she can't be buried in the family crypt.
    • When Sabrina reveals she is half-mortal, Maw Maw says "I knew it! Those eyes are too far apart!", and Sabrina can be seen trying to check her eyes.
  • Maw Maw also tries to rob a towel from the linen closet when she first arrives. After everything has been resolved, Hilda goes upstairs to count the towels.
  • The Escalating War between the cousins includes turning the Spellman bathroom into an outhouse, a garden gnome coming alive to chase Racine and Maw Maw around the garden, and the Spellmans being turned into toothless hillbillies in dungarees.
  • Great Grandma makes Zelda go to the corner for speaking out of turn - and levitates her there. She's still there in The Stinger because Great Grandma can't remember why she put her there.

Episode 10 - "To Tell A Mortal"

  • A flashback to Hilda dating Sigmund Freud where she tells him her secret.
    Freud: Let me guess - you hate your mother?
    Hilda: No.
    Freud: Really? I hate your mother.
    • We meet her mother two seasons later. He has a point.
  • Quizmaster poofs Sabrina out of the cafeteria, leaving Valerie to wonder where she got to.
    Libby: A nerd ditched by a freak? It's like a movie of the week.
  • At Zelda's demonstration of the cure for Bat Breath, she mentions using the shells of dung beatles.
    • The cover of the cure at the end reads "Cures Hildatosis", complete with unflattering picture of Hilda with a bat flying out of her mouth.
  • Quizmaster gets another good dig.
    "Mortals don't have a lot of restraint when it comes to magic. Or firearms."
    • Valerie excitedly asks him to poof out the same way he came in. He walks out the door, scoffing "I blame television."

Episode 11 - "Oh What A Tangled Spell She Weaves

  • Witch's magic is apparently stronger than we think. Hilda once cast a 'make everything round spell' and...
    "Let's just say you can thank me for Columbus Day."
  • Sabrina's 'make everything new' spell turns Salem into a kitten.
    "I've found the fountain of youth! It's the toilet!"
  • Valerie alludes to being fired as a camp counsellor after only two days.
    "and they eventually found those kids."
  • The two girls also end up with nametags that read 'Salinas' and 'Fred'. Which Mrs Papowski calls them anyway. And episodes later, she still calls Sabrina by that name.
  • Sabrina's spell to make Valerie more efficient turns her into a Jerkass but she does have this moment right after she fires her friend from the Slicery.
    "Look at that. I gave myself two minutes to dismiss you and it only took one. That's a checkaroonie."
  • The spell to make the school colder results in it first raining indoors, and then snowing. Mrs Quick opens a door and screams "blizzard!" as she's blasted through.
  • Bobcat Goldthwaite's little role as Merlin. Just all of it. He's definitely having lots of fun playing the famous wizard as a bitter ex boyfriend of Zelda's.
  • Merlin sends two mannequins sitting on the living room couch to stop Sabrina getting suspicious about her aunts missing. She doesn't even notice.

Episode 12 - "Sabrina Claus"

  • Black Comedy but Sabrina's egotitis has her conjuring a baked potato - and stealing it from a Russian man who apparently waited in line for days to get it. A heartwarming Brick Joke in the end of the episode has Sabrina sending the man one of her Christmas gifts.
  • Sabrina gets the last word on Libby for a change.
    Libby: Hoping Santa will get you a personality this year?
    Sabrina: And a crossbow!
  • The Shrink Dr Bull tells Sabrina that she may be suffering from something called 'egotitis'.
    Dr Bull starts taking notes.
    Dr Bull: "Attacks when provoked..."
  • When Sabrina meets her inner child, she remarks that the child is the one who's always telling her to run with scissors. The child nods proudly.
  • Sabrina also accidentally conjures up Zelda's blouse when testing out her egotitis. Zelda (not understanding what's going on) tells her to ask permission before borrowing her clothes "especially if I'm already wearing them!"
    Salem: Whatever you do, don't conjure anything fur!
  • The aunts' attempts to do a Christmas tree the mortal way. First they have no clue where to buy one.
    • They attempt to saw the tree to be shorter, to which Salem remarks that if they keep at it, they'll soon be able to use it as a car air freshener.
    • When they finally get it upright, it's lopsided.
    Hilda: We have the makings of a beautiful fire hazard.
    Salem: So that's what a mortal tree looks like? No wonder they drink during the holidays.
    • When Bob first pops in, he takes the time to note their "sorry looking Christmas tree."
    Sabrina: It looked better with presents.
  • One of Santa's elves has a habit of running around shouting "mayday mayday!" at every problem. The first problem is that the list is lost, then that the reindeer ate it and finally that they're sick because of it.
  • Another elf Ted proceeds to start panicking.
    Ted: Okay, it's nearly midnight, the list is missing and I keep running into Fritz underneath the mistletoe.
    Sabrina: Okay, everyone, just calm down and retrace your steps.
    Ted: I believe that would put me back underneath the mistletoe!
  • Sabrina conjures up a reindeer costume for Salem, complete with antlers and Rudolph mask.
    Salem: Okay. We've all had our laugh. Now take the nose off!
  • Hilda lampshades the inherent Fridge Horror of the Santa Claus trope "he sees you when you're sleeping".

Episode 13 - "Little Big Kraft"

  • Teenage!Kraft trolling Libby by playing piggie in the middle with the form she wanted him to sign. Harvey throws it and it ends up in someone's soup. Jenna Leigh Green's delivery of "eww!" as she picks it up out of the sauce is brilliant.
  • Mr Kraft becoming a Manchild results in no lunch order. When Mrs Quick tries to call him on this, he tells her to take care of it since she's a girl. Doubly hilarious if you remember her as a Second Wave Feminist in the 60s episode.
  • Mr Kraft also follows this by burping over the intercom. An irritated Mrs Quick grumbles that he earns "three times" what she does.
  • There's also his off-screen mooning of the stranded ski trip attendees after realising he didn't hire the bus.
  • Sabrina has to feed Mr Kraft the anti-youth potion by doing the "here comes an aeroplane" bit. When Kraft reverts to his usual self, he remarks "that noise is going on your permanent record".
  • Zelda angrily comes into the kitchen with a beaker stuck to her hand, thanks to Sabrina using the labtop to make hair mousse.
    Salem: Isn't that going to make dressing a problem?

Episode 14 - "Five Easy Pieces of Libby"

  • Sabrina attempting to get along with Libby.
    Sabrina: I just think we should try to find some common ground.
    Libby: Any ground I find with you would indeed be common.
  • Thanks to the spell, Sabrina is forced to tag along to cheerleading practice. We only see the aftermath, where Libby politely (yes, really) tells her it would be best if she didn't keep screaming "please let me die" during every routine.
  • Libby's mother being revealed to be a middle-aged version of her daughter. Later on when Mrs Quick asks why Sabrina lets Libby take all the credit, she responds "I've met her mother."
  • Libby's Pet the Dog moment, helping Sabrina with her crepe paper in a Tsundere way.
    "Well, I would hate for half the float to look like you did it."

Episode 15 - "Finger Lickin Flu"

  • Sabrina's sneezing finger makes all the locker doors pop open. Mr Kraft looks at her suspiciously, and her only defence is "and they say we don't have mice!"
  • Sabrina must treat her finger flu by sticking her finger in chicken soup.
  • Mrs Quick sees Sabrina's swollen finger and suggests Sabrina see "some sort of surgeon" about it.
  • Mrs Quick is magnificent under Rose-Coloured Glasses.
    • As they go through the linen closet to the Other Realm, she can be heard Squeeing.
    • The glasses temporarily come off.
    Mrs Quick: (panicking) Mr Kraft is a chimp! Mr Kraft is a chimp!
    Hilda casually puts the glasses back on.
    Mrs Quick: (happy) Just like Curious George.
  • Mrs Quick also gives Libby some magnificent comeuppance. Harvey and Valerie are rushed off their feet serving lunch and Libby is making silly demands. Mrs Quick orders her out of line, and the residual magic forces her backwards - where she crashes into Valerie and gets soup poured all over her.
  • While she has Sabrina's magic, Mrs Quick tells a student to stop running in the hall. He gets frozen to the spot, and other students are seen trying to unstick his feet.
  • When the aunts realise Salem has just been faking being sick, they decide to torture him a little bit. A nice cold bath for instance.
  • Sabrina is told that she has to erase Mr Kraft and Mrs Quick's memories by putting q-tips in their ears.
    "And what will erase my memory of having to do that!"
  • In the climax, Libby is forced to do cafeteria duty. She repeatedly pinches herself, saying "time to wake up from my nightmare", as the entire cafeteria gawks.

Episode 16 - "Sabrina & the Beanstalk"

  • Hilda and Zelda produce a periscope out of nowhere in the kitchen, claiming that it's always been there. Sabrina's just apparently never noticed it.
  • The aunts also create a fog to surround the house and hide the beanstalk just by making the noise of a foghorn. Sabrina tries to joke that they probably did stuff like that all the time at her age. Zelda flatly replies [[Blunt No "No. Never."
  • The fact that Shelley Long is playing the Wicked Witch. Note that this one is said to be THE Wicked Witch.
    Sabrina: Wicked? But she's so pretty.
    Hilda: Oh, she's had a lot of work done.
  • The line at the Yikes Magic Crisis Agency (yes it's abbreviated as YMCA). Hilda and Zelda approach an elderly woman who informs them that her eldest boy - who is 52 - was born in the line they're waiting in.
  • When Hilda and Zelda are waiting in line to find out how to save Harvey.
    Receptionist: Anyone with a friend or family member in quicksand come to the front of the line.
    Four people hurry forward.
    Hilda: Hey, we've been waiting for hours. We have a boy in a beanstalk about to be eaten by the wicked witch.
    Receptionist: I'll get to that.
    • Early on Hilda and Zelda laughed off Sabrina's suggestion of getting a tree trimmer. Guess what they're told they need when they finally get to the front of the line?
  • Sabrina and Harvey making a break for it, and the witch yells out "I don't like fast food!"
  • Harvey is Wrong Genre Savvy and tries to throw water on the witch, hoping she'll melt.
  • The Cool and Unusual Punishment for the witch by the end? Turning her into a vegetarian.
  • The tree trimmer brings along an axe and some other equipment apparently to chop the beanstalk down. All he has to do is shout "timbeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrr!" and it shrinks instantly.
    • And then Harvey faints onto the aunts.
  • In The Stinger, we find out that Salem ate everything in the witch's 'Fatten Up' jar. What makes it funnier is that we only see the empty jar and Hilda saying "you didn't!" - cut to Salem now at least three hundred pounds heavier.
    "Somebody get me a diet soda."

Episode 17 - "The Equalizer"

  • Roland's Jedi Mind Trick to stop Harvey from asking Sabrina to the dance is making him think he has to attend a 'father-son termite convention'.
    • And when he reverses the spell at the end, Harvey seems surprised to find out there's no such thing.
  • Roland tries to make Sabrina fall into a deep sleep, and Zelda scolds him for it.
    "You know perfectly well that Sleeping Beauty spells have been illegal since...well...Sleeping Beauty!"
    • His Imagine Spot of Sabrina under the spell involves her snoring quite unglamorously.
    • Not to mention the Spellman house inexplicably having a dungeon that Sabrina has just never noticed.
  • Mr Kraft fights his case on why he's better for Hilda than Cupid - he has "the decency to not wear a diaper in front of a lady!"
  • Cupid uses his magic to make Zelda and Mr Kraft temporarily fall for each other. As Cupid likes Hilda, this has the added bonus of ensuring Willard is no longer "fishing in my creek".
    Hilda: Gross! To what you just said, and gross to what you just did!

Episode 18 - "The Band Episode"

  • Discovering that Libby has legitimate singing talent has Harvey wondering if Adolf Hitler was really a good artist.
  • Hilda's audition turns out to be literally just a fiddler to entertain people at a tacky hillbilly themed restaurant. She's only hired because she fits into the equally tacky costume.
    • And when she gets fired, she says she's keeping the dress, with a brilliant "so there" expression.
  • While under the influence of Bottled Talent, Harvey tries to bring a new band member called Sunset in. After the spell is broken, he asks Sabrina to get rid of her because "she scares me".
  • Valerie apparently writes a very egotistical song called "My Valerie".
  • The Backstreet Boys cameo at the end as a group of jocks who drink one of Sabrina's bottled talent drinks she left lying around. They're performing in The Stinger, with the Quizmaster asking why they didn't win the band contest.

Episode 19 - "When Teens Collide"

  • The first instance of molecular instability is Zelda's arm getting attached to Hilda. Before the other two can tell her about it, she runs downstairs repeatedly saying "I know! I still have two eyes!"
  • Sabrina shaking her head too much causes her hair (or possibly extensions she was wearing that day) to come loose. Valerie tries to do the same thing and gets dizzy.
  • Sabrina tries to argue that the canned food drive shouldn't be a contest, and helping the less fortunate should be its own reward. The vice principal?
    "Oh, I'm sure that's how it's done. In Red China."
  • When Sabrina and Libby switch personalities, Flanderization happens where Libby becomes sickeningly sweet - heading random charity organisations and comforting a fashion victim with "what matters is what's in your heart". Even better - when the string trio are storming out of the house, Libby calls "it was just so special meeting you".
    • When Sabrina is brought back from the Other Realm, she can be seen dusting the living room.
  • We see that Mr Kraft is quite lucky Sabrina is not mean with her magic; while with Libby's personality inside her, she first makes his pants fall down and then locks the nearest door, forcing him to be pantsless and surrounded by laughing students.
  • It's offscreen but we're told that a black hole randomly opened in the kitchen sink thanks to sun spots.
    Zelda: It just sucked the kitchen table and a whole platter of tea cakes into oblivion.
  • Libby and Harvey first arriving at the house, and molecular instability makes the door vanish. Hilda covers up by saying Zelda made a hologram. Later when the personalities have been switched back, Libby takes the time to taunt "oh and the hologram door looks completely fake"...only to bump into the now-solid door. She wails "I have to get out of here."
  • Sabrina on trial at the Witches Council.
    Judge: Have you anything to say for yourself?
    Sabrina: I think your wig looks silly.
    Crowd gasps in horror
    Zelda: Sabrina, that's not what I meant when I said 'grovel'.
  • Hilda brings the string trio around the house to convince them she's normal. Unfortunately they're upstairs just as cops from the Other Realm appear out of the linen closet.
    Hilda: Overdue library books. Let's go back to the living room.
    Violinist: But where did those policemen come from?
    Hilda: (pushing them out of the room) There's a donut shop upstairs.
    • Before that we have this conversation
      Hilda: The trio already thinks I'm a little ditzy.
      Zelda: Whatever gave them that idea?
      Hilda: There was the time that Yo-Yo Ma was soloing and I said 'Kick out the jams, Yo-Yo!'
  • Sabrina is asked if she has any last words. She responds "nanny nanny boo boo."
  • And when Salem storms the trial to announce he has evidence that will clear Sabrina of all charge, the judge deadpans "I hate it when this happens."

Episode 20 - "My Nightmare The Car"

  • Zelda proving to be Not So Above It All in the opening - apparently leaving Salem stuck at the top of Mt Everest!
  • During their disastrous time owning a car, Sabrina apparently locked Salem in the glove compartment.
  • The montage of Sabrina and Valerie owning the car ends with one of them holding a bent licence plate.
  • Whenever Sabrina tries to zap the car away, it reappears in her room.
  • The car going rogue while on a date with Hilda and Mr Kraft. The spectacle concludes as it zaps itself into Sabrina's bedroom.
    Sabrina: Aunt Hilda. How was the movie?
    Hilda: Oh I laughed, I cried, you're in big trouble!
    Sabrina: (noticing Mr Kraft unconscious) What happened to Mr Kraft? Did you put a spell on him?
    Hilda: No, fortunately he passed out from terror.
    • And with no potion to use on him, they just prop him on the doorstep as he's regaining consciousness - with Hilda pretending they just had a fun evening. He muses that he'll now have to start videotaping his dates.
  • Zelda's accountant runs off with all their magic savings, so the auditors ban her from using the magic book, a cauldron or the labtop. She's allowed to use a top hat and cheap wand to conjure flowers.
    "This isn't magic. It's a crummy Bar Mitzvah."

Episode 21 - "Fear Strikes Up A Conversation"

  • Hilda describes just how busy Zelda's work has left her.
    "She's even been too busy to disapprove of me."
  • Hilda attempts to be Zelda.
    "Oh, that is a problem. Have you considered running away from it?"
  • Franklin D Roosevelt admitting that overcoming polio to become president pales in comparison to having to read an essay in front of a high school assembly.
  • Zelda under 'Witch Snap'. The highlights:
    • She starts randomly doing the Charleston. Hilda joins in, all while talking about how she needs to solve the problem at hand.
    • Starts acting like Ginger from Gilligan's Island.
    Dr Brickman: She just needs to have nothing on her mind.
    Hilda: If I recall that character correctly, she doesn't.
    • Pins Salem to the counter while forcibly putting booties and a bonnet on him.
    • And before a big presentation all she can say is "it's pronounced hydroxine"
    Hilda: Great, it's the biggest night of Zelda's career and she has the verbal skills of a potato!
    —>Salem: It's pronounced 'po-tah-to'.
  • Valerie's freakout under the influence of the fear shadow.
    "The air...the stars...we're decomposing as we speak!
    • Mrs Quick becomes convinced she has gangrene in her wrist and says she'll gnaw it off.
    • Harvey is trying to avoid any injury and so is not doing any high-risk activity. Including cards.
    "Ever get a paper cut? Who do you think I am? Evil Knieval?"
  • Hilda's way of chasing the shadow into the Other Realm? Summoning a pack of dogs to chase it through the linen closet. Apparently fear can smell dogs.
  • Sabrina's comical overreaction to everyone jumping out at her in the Forest of her Fears. And she's unfazed by Libby as a clown, but Quizmaster is terrified of clowns.
    Libby: Like I'm going to waste my scariness on you, freak.
  • Zelda going back to normal just as Hilda snaps...right in the middle of her presentation. She then discovers that Hilda has put her paper in the jug of water.
  • At the end when Hilda snaps as well she enters the kitchen playing an acordian.
    Hilda: (In German accent) The songs of Bavaria. We will never forget them!
    She starts to perform.
    Sabrina: I didn't know it until now, but Aunt Hilda playing the accordion is my biggest fear.

Episode 22 - "Quiz Show"

  • Sabrina's Oh, Crap! at discovering the girl she thought was a fellow teenage witch was actually the Head Quizmaster. After she spent a good few minutes whining about her own Quizmaster.
    "Why does nobody age in this realm!"
  • The mouse mentioned in "Inna Gadda Sabrina" makes an appearance. And he does not disappoint.
    • The mouse is even riding the hot air balloon with them in The Stinger, randomly saying that Sabrina "so wants me."
  • Sabrina's Good-Times Montage with her and Quizmaster includes a scene where she models a dress for him. And then he models the same dress for her.
  • Zelda has to dumb down the chemistry formula for the class - making up a comparison to a wedding and honeymoon.
  • After Zelda helps Libby solve the chemistry formula, she hugs her. Libby then has a Delayed Reaction when she realised she just hugged a teacher.
    Sabrina: Well, I can never touch Aunt Zelda again...
  • Sabrina's daydream is interrupted by Libby - who doesn't watch to have to touch her - so she just claps to wake her up.

Episode 23 - "Disneyworld"

  • When the caveman Tootie barges out of the hotel room, Hilda follows him with a grumpy "age before beauty."
    • Even funnier when the fifth season confirms she is 650 years old. Which pales in comparison to a man from prehistoric times.

Episode 24 - "Sabrina's Choice"

  • When shown the What If? spell, Sabrina's first instinct is to ask what would happen if Kenan & Kel won the lottery. It shows Kel accidentally putting the ticket into a sandwich.
    • And Kenan and Kel does have a lottery episode. And something quite similar happens.
  • In the reality where Sabrina grew up with Zelda, Harvey inexplicably dissolved and is being kept alive as a Futurama-esque head in a jar.
  • Ru-Paul as the hairdresser who fixes up Sabrina. She gets a purple beehive and is rightfully horrified. But in The Stinger she's given Salem the same hairdo!

Episode 25 - "Rumor Mill"

  • The rumors Sabrina started are as follows:
    "These are not birthing hips!"
    • Mrs Quick and Mr Kraft are having a torrid affair.
    Mrs Quick: Oh Willard...
    Mr Kraft: Call me 'Vice Principal Kraft'.
    • Salem becomes a mob boss. He attempts to do the whole 'horse's head in the bed' equivalent with a mouse's head in a rival cat's bed. But then he likes the idea of waking up with the mouse head in his own bed.
    • Hilda and Zelda get abducted by aliens! And even when it's a spaceship, Hilda is still a terrible navigator.
  • Dashiell apparently turned his sister into a Unicorn and gave his cousin bat wings thanks to the Rumor Mill. His punishment for it all is cleaning up the cousin's guano.
  • When the rumor spell wears off, Mrs Quick says she needs to call the Smart Women, Foolish Choices hotline.

Episode 26 - "Mom vs Magic"

  • Salem reveals that, before he was turned into a cat, his mother didn't love him.
    Salem: Just one hug and I wouldn't have tried to conquer Poland!
  • It turns out that Salem's mother is allergic to cats.
  • Sabrina gets dropped into Peru in the middle of a dig with her mother, and angrily calls up to the Quizmaster that he could have been a little more gentle.
  • When Quiz Master reveals the whole thing was a Secret Test of Character, Sabrina tries to get violent.
    Sabrina: My clothes are too encrusted with dirt. Someone please kick him!
    Hilda goes forward but is stopped by Zelda.

     Season 3 
Episode 1 - "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad Season Opener"
  • Doris is a real One-Scene Wonder. She's an Emotionless Girl who speaks in complete monotone with a typical 'noo yawk' accent. She just says she was "classically trained".
  • Sabrina's Oh, Crap! when she realises that Harvey and Dashiell are going to literally fight over her, thanks to the spell.
    "Being a witch would be a lot easier without all the magic!"
  • Hilda inexplicably puts on a Southern Belle accent when trying to seduce Mr Kraft.
  • Sabrina's Suspiciously Specific Denial when trying to make sure Mr Kraft doesn't discover the Mexican standoff that's happening in the hallway.
  • At the Grease themed dance, Valerie was apparently made to wear a whalebone girdle by her mother. For authenticity.

Episode 2 - "Boy Was My Face Red"

  • Valerie attempting to talk to Justin results in her belching in his face.
    Libby: And the sound barrier.
  • Sabrina's attempt at casting an anti-embarrassment spell backfires and displaces Valerie's embarrassment onto her. This results in a certain bodily function happening during an assembly.
    Libby: Most people just use visual aids.
    • Sabrina attempts to run away to the Other Realm islands, and discovers that the witches there have heard everything and laugh at her. When she returns home, Zelda remarks that she and Hilda spent puberty at the same islands.
  • Dr Warner wonders why Salem has a different last name, but says it's alright because she's a Crazy Cat Lady too. Hilda and Zelda don't look pleased.
  • Salem is given the classic Cone of Shame by the vet. He complains that he looks like a Victrola, so the aunts cast a spell that he plays old timey music whenever he opens his mouth.
    • After Zelda discovers that Hilda ruined her ears, Salem starts to sing "Do Your Ears Hang Low". Hilda starts to sing along too, but then realises the whole thing is her fault.
  • The Stylistic Suck of the film Zelda shows Sabrina of famous figures embarrassing themselves. Queen Victoria discovers pit stains on a white gown as she waves to her subjects. King Arthur's breeches rip while he tries to pull Excalibur from the stone. Thomas Jefferson spills ink when he tries to write the Declaration of Independence.
  • Libby gets her comeuppance at the end, accidentally slipping on the banana peel and falling face first into the cake she was carrying.
  • Salem's reaction to being told his bottom will need to be shaved.
    "But the beautiful doctor will see my popo.
  • Sabrina summing the situation up in The Stinger.
    Sabrina: We're all back to normal. My face, Salem's behind, Aunt Zelda's ears, Aunt Hilda...well someday.
    Hilda: You're grounded.
    • After Dr Warner kisses Salem and he doesn't turn into a human, he yells that it didn't work. Dr Warner of course faints.

Episode 3 - "Suspicious Minds"

  • Sabrina finds Roland as a private investigator, and his office transforms them into a Film Noir setting.
  • During the montage of Roland spying on Harvey, there's one point where he's 'disguised' as a cheerleader. Complete with his hair in Girlish Pigtails.
  • Hilda's complete disappointment when she finds out that all Zelda and Mr Kraft talk about are geeky things like Jupiter's moons, and she and Salem fall asleep in the backseat.
    • Zelda is furious when she discovers Hilda hiding there, while Mr Kraft just Squees that two sisters appear to be fighting over him.
    Zelda: I've never been so mad at you in my life!
    Hilda: That's not true. Remember when we were kids and I broke your collarbone.
  • The episode climaxes with Sabrina chasing after Harvey, Roland after Sabrina and Hilda after Zelda. All three run in perfect formation in the same area.
  • Mr Kraft gives Gordie and Sabrina an A when their marriage fails, as it's a sign that they're on the right track.
    • Sabrina tries to apologise for not being a better wife to Gordie, but he calls her a genius because they're the only two in the class who passed.

Episode 4 - "The Pom Pom Incident"

  • Zelda apparently thinks Trekkies are Acceptable Targets.
    Sabrina: I'm worried about Valerie. She's fallen in with a bad crowd.
    Zelda: Trekkies?
    Sabrina: Worse. She's trying to become a cheerleader.
    • Sabrina justifies her attitude by saying it's a well known fact that cheerleaders sleep upside down from the rafters of old barns.
    • "Everybody wants Valerie to be happy! Am I the only one who cares about her!"
  • Mortimer practices sawing Hilda in half - and her legs get up and run away. At the end of the episode Hilda is apparently "two inches shorter" as a result.
    Mortimer: "Usually it's the audience who walks out."
  • Mortimer's attempts to bring back Salem. He has a whole collection of people mistakenly conjured up - a man waiting for his CAT scan, a Catskills comedian, two women with 'Cat' as a last name and Martha Washington. The aunts have no explanation for this.
    • Martha then ends up as his assistant at the magic show later.
    "Who are you people? And where's George?"
  • Sabrina is forced to try out for cheerleading with Valerie. She intentionally half-asses the physical tryout. Then Libby makes them write essays, one of which has the topic "The effect of cheerleading on the North American Free Trade Agreement".
    • When they announce those who made it...
    Libby: As for Sabrina Spellman, who also tried out. We'll be showing a video of her tryout in the gymnasium after—
    The entire cafeteria cleans out.
  • The Stinger as Hilda accidentally poofs everyone into the same Indian slum Salem got sent to. He recommends a place called the 'Delhi Llama'.

Episode 5 - "Pancake Madness"

  • Let's just say there's a very good reason this is Melissa Joan Hart's favourite episode.
  • The aunts have a Big "NO!" reaction when they see Sabrina about to eat pancakes.
    Sabrina: What are we? Fanatic waffle people?
  • The first sign of Sabrina's addiction kicking in is when she fishes Harvey's breakfast out of the bin to lick the syrup. Libby of course walks in with her Girl Posse.
    "They say she keeps all her belongings in a shopping cart."
  • Other Realm immigration testing to see if Hilda and Zelda's papers are in order? Getting them to read the sentence "we went out and about again and again in our Ford Falcon". Hilda says it in a ridiculously thick Canadian accent, and is deported immediately. She defends herself for not filling out her papers, claiming she was too busy "trying to keep Benjamin Franklin's hands off me."
    • The next time Hilda phones, she was apparently traded for badger pelts.
    • When trying to sneak across the border, the aunts of course get stopped by a Mountie. Hilda gets let through based on her knowledge of pop culture, but Zelda gets sent back. Hilda tries to reassure her that at the bar, tonight is ladies' night and "you'll be the only lady."
    • It also turns out she didn't need to be rescued. After she tried to make the hicks in the bar watch Swan Lake on the TV, she was booted across the border.
  • Sabrina binge eating all the pancakes at school leads to her coming home as bloated as a sumo wrestler. Dr Brickman reappears and restores her by popping her with a giant needle.
  • Sabrina's nightmare brought on by going cold turkey? A huge Crowd Song called "Cakes on the Griddle" where all her friends dance around with plates of pancakes.
    • She then dreams up Mrs Mapleton - a giant talking syrup dispenser.
    • Mrs Mapleton's apt philosophy of the world - "friends hurt you, friends cancel plans. Pancakes don't!"

Episode 6 - "Good Will Haunting"

  • Zelda's previous excuses for not going to Aunt Beulah's at Halloween - World Wars I and II, the Chicago Fires and Luke and Laura's wedding (presumably she means the one on General Hospital).
  • Tempting Fate is definitely a thing with witches. After the Spellmans grudgingly RSVP to Aunt Beulah's party, Sabrina quips that it's not etched in stone. Cue tombstone dropping onto the table confirming that they're going to the party.
  • Sabrina's intense Cat Fight with Molly Dolly.
    "You're going down, you little plastic nightmare."
  • Sabrina earlier tries to threaten Molly to unseal the house or she'll be thrown out in front of traffic.
  • The boys aren't able to rent any scary movies so they bring home The Bridges of Madison County, Remains Of The Day and Enchanted April.
  • After all the horror Molly Dolly puts the teens through, Aunt Beulah just has to sing off key to get her to stop.
  • The Running Gag of 'Delilah' changing her name every few minutes.

Episode 7 - "You Bet Your Family"

  • Upon learning Libby will have a car to drive on the school trip, Sabrina is literally testing out bags to wear over her head.
    Hilda: I like the beige one. It brings out your immaturity.
  • Diamond Dave immediately regrets making Sabrina his chauffeur, considering she's a teen and she Drives Like Crazy.
  • Diamond Dave also has fun calling Zelda "Cookie" and making Hilda put on a cockney accent and saying "evenin' guvna" whenever he comes home.
  • Hilda under the effects of the sleeping potion. Even though she's not a Lady Drunk, everyone treats her as if she is.
    Diamond Dave: I think someone better put some coffee on for Aunt Tipsy over here.
    • And after they escape from his house, cut to Hilda in the kitchen wailing "ow, my head". It's Caroline Rhea's delivery that makes it.

Episode 8 - "And the Sabrina Goes To"

  • Mr Kraft using Valerie's invention, resulting in Joker-like lipstick.
  • The incredibly cheesy opening song to the Sabrina Awards - in which Valerie, Harvey and Mr Kraft spell out her name in a manner similar to "L-O-V-E" by Nat King Cole.
  • While collecting her awards, Sabrina falls off the stage. Cut to her being awarded 'Best Falling Off The Stage'.
  • When Zelda's peasants are fighting over who gets to dispose of her apple core, she casually splits in half and they both happily trot off.
  • After all the battling over Zelda's country, she discovers that the population is three people.
    "And despite that, parking is still a nightmare."

Episode 9 - "Nobody Nose Libby Like Sabrina Nose Libby"

  • Harvey composes a poem for the proposed poetry bash. It's basically a reworded version of 'The Road Not Taken' by Robert Frost. He takes the blame for Libby winning more votes because of his awful poetry. Sabrina and Mrs Quick wait a beat before reassuring him.
    • At the end of the episode, Sabrina rings the fire alarm to prevent Harvey from reading another poem, and then grabs Mrs Quick as her buddy.
    Harvey: We've never had a fire drill after school.
  • During the montage of the campaign, Sabrina is wearing a sandwich board to promote her poetry bash. Of course Libby trips her up, leaving her wriggling on the ground.
  • Libby would definitely be a Card-Carrying Villain.
    Sabrina: Why don't you surprise all of us by changing and doing something nice?
  • Hilda refers to Libby as Sabrina's "friend Leona Helmsley" (referring to the notorious tyrant of a businesswoman, who earned the nickname 'Queen of Mean').
  • Salem's desired spaceship model turns out to be the size of a small toy, prompting the cat to wail "I can't pick up women in this!"
  • Hilda gets very into the walkie talkie stuff.
    Hilda: Breaker breaker! This is Kitchen Momma calling! Sabrina, what do you want your handle to be?
    Sabrina: Aunt Hilda!
    • Later on, Sabrina does indeed call for 'Kitchen Momma' on the walkie talkie.
  • Libby lies to say that Sabrina's reaction to losing the election was "wearing a house coat and eating cheese doodles."
  • Sabrina's attempts to control Libby through her brain involve her acting like a gorilla and a chicken, slapping Mr Kraft and then kissing him.
    Mr Kraft: Miss Chessler, are you mocking the noble institution of Homecoming!
  • Sabrina discovering the gross tool she needs to control Libby's actions.
    "I'll wash but I'll never be clean."
  • The solution to making Libby sneeze is to irritate her sinuses, by rubbing something against it.
    Sabrina: And since most people are allergic to...
    Salem does an Eye Take.

Episode 10 - "Sabrina & the Beast"

  • Libby has an interesting process for deciding who to date.
    "Dan's a blond. We'd clash."
  • Cousin Susie is a ridiculous Parody Sue who's so saintly and perfect that one scene cuts to her nursing a baby in a slum, with a ray of divine light shining down on her.
    Zelda: She probably stopped to heal the sick.
    Sabrina: Then she'll want to wash her hands when she gets here.
  • Sabrina can't resist Susie's Incorruptible Pure Pureness when she's mad at her for turning Harvey into a beast. She initially storms out of the classroom when Susie offers her a cookie - and then comes back in insisting "but just one!"
  • During the Good-Times Montage Sabrina has with Harvey, Libby laughs at Sabrina for beating on her chest like a gorilla. So Harvey roars at her, and she runs screaming out of the Slicery. And in The Stinger, she's on the phone saying "Daddy, we have to move!"
  • The Domin-a-tron is able to force Hilda to open the doors and windows a certain amount of times.
  • As it turns out, Mrs Papowski and her husband end up having the photoshoot in Sabrina and Harvey's place.

Episode 11 - "Christmas Amnesia"

  • While being humiliated in front of your peers is every teen's worst nightmare, it is incredibly funny when Sabrina - being forced to sing Christmas Carols with her aunts - ends up caroling outside the party she had to miss.
  • Father Christmas's children have whimsical names like 'Bunny', 'Boopsy', 'Minnie' and then one grumpy looking kid on the end called Fred.
  • The Fictional Holiday that Salem erased from the world was randomly called 'Bobunk'. Sabrina naturally gets annoyed at him saying it.
  • Sabrina's attempts at singing carols during a mid-term. Mrs Quick asks for silence, so Sabrina sings "Silent Night".
  • She also attempts to act out A Christmas Carol all by herself. Needless to say, out of context it's quite lacking.
  • When dressed as a department store Santa, she gets very aggressive when a little girl refuses to sit on her lap. A security guard busts her, so she resorts to Exit Stage Window.

Episode 12 - "Whose So Called Life Is It Anyway?"

  • Salem is introduced doing a Cubist style painting of Hilda. Cut to Hilda who has literally rearranged her face magically to be in that shape.
  • Valerie's family apparently wear bicycle helmets in the car.
  • Sabrina tries to stop Valerie turning into her, by acting as ridiculously paranoid as Valerie's usual self - worrying about things like Harvey breaking up with her, not getting into a good college and the state of Soviet Russia. Valerie cheers her up with this gem.
    "Soviet Russia probably will collapse but hey, we don't live there."
  • Salem exploits Dead Artists Are Better by telling the newspapers Hilda died. Her boyfriend Brock hears about it, and Hilda realises she can't tell him the truth.
    "Great. I meet the guy of my dreams, and then I die."
    • When she finds out by reading the newspaper's obituary section, Zelda asks Hilda if she died without telling her beforehand. The hilarity in her question comes in how seriously Zelda asked it, and that the witches' Bizarre Alien Biology makes such an event sound plausible.
    • When she thinks of a suitable cover story and walks into the room to tell Brock, he runs out screaming, because Zelda had conjured up pictures of Hilda in a coffin for him.
    Hilda: I'm so pale!
    Zelda: You're dead.
    • In The Stinger Salem is being forced to write lines of "I will not kill Hilda" over and over.
  • Valerie's family are not happy with her personality change, so when she switches back, she instantly runs into her room wailing "I'm such a loser!" Mrs Birkhead Squees "my baby, she's back!"

Episode 13 - "What Price Harvey?"

  • Cousin Zsa Zsa's Establishing Character Moment - leaving a snake in the freezer. Zelda faints and Hilda is initially loving it, assuming the snake is Zsa Zsa transformed. It turns out it isn't, so Hilda faints too.
  • Harvey doesn't sugar coat how awful the Ambition Cologne smells.
    "It smells like my dog when he's rolled in something dead!"
  • In the montage of Sabrina giving Harvey the ambition products, she uses an old fashioned pump to spray some at him. Once he has his sight back, he shoves a random guy he assumes sprayed him.
  • Salem uses so much of Zsa Zsa's concealer, he ends up invisible.
  • Zelda and Zsa Zsa interrupt Hilda's practice by making her nose run. Literally.
    Hilda: I'm just glad I don't play a wind instrument!
  • Sabrina is unaware of the aunts' personality swap and goes to Zelda for help - who is too busy trying to melt a toy army man. Hilda comes in and leads her off to solve the problem - Sabrina noting that something is strange here.
    • It's also a nice Mythology Gag to the comics where Hilda was the responsible aunt and Zelda the ditzy one (as it was in the Pilot Movie).
  • The final moment where it turns out that Salem used the last of Zsa Zsa's Ambition products and is trying to talk to Donald Trump, only to get put on hold.

Episode 14 - "Mrs Kraft"

  • Sabrina takes a ride with Mr Kraft to school and comes in covered with garbage - because the students regularly throw it at him any morning. Kraft is so used to this, he's wearing a trench coat like it's no big deal.
    • In the montage of Mr Kraft living with them, we see he and Sabrina coming to school again. This time Sabrina has learned and is wearing a coat too.
    • And on Jerry Springer, as he makes his entrance, the audience throws things at him too.
  • Hilda justifies bringing back Mr Kraft's ex-wife by saying they can't let Zelda stay in a relationship with a man who still loves two other women. Sabrina wonders who the second is, and Hilda gives her a Death Glare.
  • Lucy gets a catty barb in on Zelda.
  • How does the Zelda-Willard-Lucy triangle get solved? The Jerry Springer Show!
    • Hilda tries to say something - to discover that her words are getting bleeped out. Jerry admits she's not swearing, but it's just to make it sound like she is.
    • Lucy's cattiness comes out full force - "Honey, all the magic in your bag couldn't get you a man!"
    • And of course you couldn't have an episode on Jerry Springer and not have a Cat Fight - so there's a massive one between Lucy and Zelda at the end.
  • In The Stinger Harvey has arranged for a photo to be taken of him and Sabrina. Valerie brings her blindfolded and tries to warn Harvey about something that he won't listen to. Once we see the photo, it turns out Sabrina has a black eye.

Episode 15 - "Sabrina & the Pirates"

  • The pirates in the title? Hilda had them locked in the basement a hundred years ago and forgot to free them.
  • Sabrina and Valerie go to a seedy neighborhood to get their fake ID cards. When Sabrina gets the Other Realm Fake IDs it inexplicably looks exactly the same - "What is this? A Fake ID franchise?" - and both times she hears police sirens and runs away. Except when it's in the Other Realm, it turns out to be a hot dog vendor who has a siren attached to his cart.
  • It's downplayed funny but the same bouncer is at the entrance to the club whenever Sabrina and Valerie try to get in. One has to wonder why he never questions the two girls that come up to him three times.
  • The aunts trying to civilise the pirates:
    • They wrestle over the food like animals, and when Hilda tries to train them with the "sit, stay" trick used on dogs, they just threaten her with their cutlasses.
    • They're told to "walk through the room like gentlemen". They immediately start messing up the furniture - which the aunts say is an improvement from the previous attempt.
    • When trying to seat 'ladies' (the aunts themselves), the pirates do seat them properly but then they all sit on Zelda's knee.
    • When staging what to do if a salesman comes to the door (Hilda playing the salesman) one of the pirates runs her through with his cutlass.
    Zelda: Okay, no!
    After Sabrina has removed the sword.
    Hilda: If I start leaking bile, someone's getting a time out!
  • Valerie wants to bring the ID over and Sabrina says "no, pirates!" and then tries to cover up saying she said "by gum". Only Valerie could believe she heard 'pirates' from 'by gum'.
  • The Running Gag of Salem trying to repair the Family Secret Board only for it to get smashed again.
  • The entirety of Sabrina and the aunts' battle with the pirates at the end of the episode. Sabrina first tries to scare them by turning herself into Peter Pan (but her fake magic puts a kibosh on that idea). Then the aunts are made to walk the plank (but thankfully Sabrina's magic returns in time to conjure the shark tank away). After an intense swordfight, Hilda kicks the jar holding her magic out of the way...and it smashes the newly repaired Family Secret Board.
  • After all the stress he's gone through trying to repair the board, Salem finds out there's a second board, and he faints.
  • Sabrina is told that her punishment is taking down the pirates' boat by hand. Cue her sobbing like Salem usually does.

Episode 16 - "Sabrina the Matchmaker"

  • Zelda tries to first present Cupid as an all-knowing entity about the matters of love, and then casually says she told him about Sabrina's Relationship Sabotage at a cocktail party.
  • Sabrina's quest to find two people to set up reduces her to asking the phone operator if he or she is seeing anyone. Understandably they hang up.
  • Hilda and Zelda may be hundreds of years old but, when they find out they both bought the same dress for their dates, sisterly rivalry kicks in and so does some magical Rip Tailoring.
  • Emile and Marigold's little water fight in the bathroom is as amusing as it is adorable.
    • Plus there's Amanda's random Big NO when Marigold happily says she did manual labor.
  • Amanda and Allie want to turn Robbie into a salamander. Sabrina is warning them not to, but then Robbie hits her with a ball, and she relents "not a big salamander".
  • Sabrina tries to control her two cousins by trapping them in her room with Harvey. They turn him into a dog so he can cause more mayhem around the house. He runs into the dining room and under the table while Marigold and Emile are having dinner. Sabrina runs under to catch him, and we just see the table shaking while Emile and Marigold look on casually.
  • After getting locked in jail for fighting at dinner, Willard and Carlton bond over being Doris Day fans. When the aunts come to get them out, they find the two happily singing 'Que Sera Sera' together. They immediately pretend they don't know them.
  • Seeing Amanda and Allie having to get dressed the mortal way is oh so satisfying.

Episode 17 - "Salem the Boy"

  • Salem inhabits Gordie's body right in time to ask Valerie out. The sheer Mood Whiplash causes Valerie to Squee!.
    "I think Gordie just hit puberty!"
  • The aunts decide to cast a spell that takes them to the best party Salem ever went to. It takes them to Caligula's reign of Ancient Rome.
    • And of course Caligula hitchhikes back to the present with them, and comically chases them around the house.
  • Harvey attempting to be suspicious of Sabrina, Gordie and Roland but always being a bit slow on the uptake.
    Sabrina: I just remembered I left the coupon at home.
    She leaves.
    Harvey: Aha!
    Beat.
    Harvey: Wait a minute. What coupon?
  • Zelda tries to chew out Sabrina for putting Salem into Gordie's body, but taking the time to note "It does explain why I finally beat the cat at Scrabble."
    • Zelda Spellman is a qualified physicist with multiple degrees and a four digit IQ (according to Season 6). And she regularly loses at Scrabble to a convicted felon. And she managed to play a whole game with a common house pet without realising.
  • Sabrina's Cool and Unusual Punishment (averted thanks to Salem) is to face a lion in the Colosseum. With only a pea shooter as a weapon.
    Hilda: Remember - lions can smell fear.
    Sabrina: So bravery will cover the smell of my tender flesh?
  • Roland's love letter pops up as a Brick Joke just as Harvey apologises for being suspicious. So Sabrina magics his signature onto the end of it and thanks him for being romantic. Harvey can only give her a bemused "you're welcome".

Episode 18 - "Sabrina the Teenage Writer

  • Sabrina's Epic Fail at trying to write a romance story. Mr Kraft comes into the room and gives her detention. This time he has a point - as we see dozens of scrunched up paper balls at Sabrina's feet.
  • Other Realm chain letters are apparently literal links of chains that come in the mail.
  • Michelle Kwan has a cameo as a student that Dr Bad tries to kill, and she of course inexplicably wore a pair of skates to school.
  • Sabrina meets Vivian Soontodie - Valerie's alter ego in the spy story.
    Vivian: We have to meet Derek.
    Sabrina: I'd love to but I really have to get home to—
    Vivian: I have a black belt in twenty-four different disciplines of Oriental martial arts.
    Sabrina: Then clearly I'm coming with you.
  • The real people meeting their spy counterparts.
    • Mr Kraft tries to give Lydia a detention slip - and gets a laser blasted at him.
    "Don't start whimpering until you get to your office."
    "The psychic was right. I was separated at birth!"
  • Libby finding the terrified Mr Kraft, and asking him why he's acting like a freshman.
  • Mr Kraft confusing Mrs Quick for Mrs Doohicky.
    Kraft: Keep her away from me. She has poison chalk!
    Mrs Quick: I don't even have gum.
  • When Mrs Quick sees all the doppelgangers running with Sabrina, she waves and calls hi to Mrs Doohicky.
  • Zelda's proposed ending has Dr Bad strapping Derek to a buzzsaw.
  • Hilda discovers that her bra is on the roof. Salem says the squirrels need a nut feeder.
  • Zelda is furious when she finds out Hilda mailed a chain letter, but her sister has a good defence.
    "I was not about to apply mascara to my six new eyes!"

Episode 19 - "The Big Sleep"

  • Hilda drives into the back garden in a fork lift that she just happened to buy at a flea market.
    • Later on Sabrina asks Hilda for advice while she's on the fork lift, and doesn't bat an eyelid. Hilda's apparently going to use it to flip the mattresses.
  • Mr Kraft asks one of Sabrina's teammates what Newton's law of gravity is. He faints. Kraft says it's correct but he needs it in words.
  • Valerie tries to explain why it'd be a bad idea for her to join the team.
    "But I'm useless under pressure. I get dizzy, I sweat profusely and I babble incoherently.(beat) Much like I'm doing now.
  • Sabrina connives Libby onto the team quite brilliantly. When Mr Kraft sees them talking, she pretends Libby is begging to be on the team and she's refusing her. So Kraft 'overrules' her and puts Libby on the team. The grade A Alpha Bitch is left too stunned to say anything.
  • Zelda says that Aunt Dorma once turned her into a porch swing For the Evulz.
  • Libby is especially brilliant when being forced to study with Harvey and Valerie.
    • The kitchen door is locked and Libby calls - "I can't believe I'm saying this, let me into your house!"
    • When she sees the poppies everywhere, Jenna Leigh Green makes a fantastic This Is Gonna Suck expression.
    • She lets off her trademark "Ew!" when Sabrina conjures up flood water to back up her cover story.
    • As Sabrina is in and out of the kitchen, she deadpans "I despise this house!"
    • She opens a closet to find the aunts dancing in there, and screams as if it's the most horrific thing she's ever seen.
  • Sabrina is falling asleep thanks to the poppies, so Salem throws a water balloon to wake her up.
    Sabrina: Salem!
    Salem: Don't hate me. I did it because I love you.
  • In order to keep the aunts' brains from rotting under the poppies, Sabrina casts a spell to make them act out their dreams. One of Hilda's has her dancing with Andy Warhol, and Zelda swimming the English Channel. She ends up having the "Not Wearing Pants" Dream just as Mr Kraft drops by to check on the studying. Thankfully he just assumes she's having a nervous breakdown.
  • After a whole night of trying mundane methods to get rid of the poppies, Sabrina has a Eureka Moment and realises that snow will get rid of them. She conjures up a blizzard inside her house - and it works!
  • Zelda gets arrested for all the threatening phone calls Salem made to their neighbor, and all the water balloons he threw at his house.
    Zelda: But I've been asleep for the last twelve hours!
    Cop: (dragging her away) You might want to work on that alibi.
  • The Stinger has Zelda punishing Salem by cleaning all the toilets in the house - which he keeps falling in. Aunt Dorma arrives - and it turns out she's a literal Black Sheep. Her clue to the family secret is an army of birds, and Salem realises he'll have to clean up after them too.

Episode 20 - "Sabrina's Pen Pal"

  • Salem believes he has a full nine lives, so he keeps trying for near death experiences. The highlight is somehow conjuring up an alligator to wrestle. Zelda refuses because she doesn't want to spend all day cleaning "cat entrails" out of the carpet.
  • Martha goes Beautiful All Along after being turned back from a cat. She chalks it up to nervous grooming thanks to "that black cat kept trying to goad me into a knife fight."
  • The necklace Harvey bought Sabrina has gone missing. She freezes time to go home and search for it to no avail - wondering how she can explain this to him. She goes for the mundane solution once she unfreezes time - it's at home.
  • Zelda gives Sabrina a lecture about how "everyone knows" that Pen Pal with a capital P means you get a pen pal from the penitentiary.
    Sabrina: I can come up with a list of a few people who don't!
  • Zelda's plan to catch Martha red-handed? A spell that encases her hand in a cookie jar. Which proves useless when the potion Martha uses (turning herself into fire) helps her escape.
  • The Cold-Blooded Torture the aunts and Mr Kraft go through? Being tickled with feathers repeatedly.
  • How does Sabrina take down a notorious jewel thief without her magic? A high speed flying vacuum cleaner chase, and throwing a penny into Martha's vacuum to sink it.

Episode 21 - "Sabrina's Real World"

  • In the prologue, Salem complains about the programming, so the newscaster jumps out of the TV to attack him!
  • Hilda accidentally puts on a magic belt that turns her into the Pungeon Master. She'll have to tell a million jokes before she can take it off.
    "Let me tell you about my ex-wife. I took her everywhere. It was easier than having to kiss her goodbye."
    "You should meet my mother-in-law. They said she was as ugly as sin. Sin sued."
    "He's so short, he has to reach up to tie his shoes."
  • Zelda in her 'bad news duty' uniform looks like the Grim Reaper - and Sabrina screams hysterically when she sees her for the first time.
  • Hilda buys the excuse that Sabrina needed a barrel of nuclear waste for school - and zaps one into her class! The way Mrs Quick says "is that nuclear waste?" in the same tone one would use if a dog wandered into the class.
  • Zelda falls for Salem's story too about Sabrina needing to get her grey dress cleaned. Poor Sabrina ends up in her underwear in the middle of the cafeteria. And she comes home with a bush covering herself.
    • Then you realise she could have just conjured up new clothes, which she does a few seconds later.
  • At the exact moment Sabrina decides to make her life dull so her show will get cancelled, Harvey shows up having rescued a family from a burning building.
  • Sabrina trying to be dull is chuckle-inducing:
    • Counting the ceiling tiles in the cafeteria.
    • Trying to have mundane conversations about jello.
    • Focusing more on Harvey's sock choices than his fire heroics.
  • A twister gets conjured up in the hallway to liven up Sabrina's life. Mrs Quick tells them all to head for the root cellar - then remembers she's not in the Midwest.
  • Zelda is held up with a man who refuses to take bad news. She's reduced to throttling him as he claims he can't write to sign her receipt.
  • Sabrina finally snaps under all the disasters, and gets a Get a Hold of Yourself, Man! slap from Mrs Quick of all people.
  • Sabrina has to face a dinosaur and she solves the problem by speaking to it. She assumes it speaks Japanese but it actually speaks French.

Episode 22 - "The Long & Winding Shortcut"

  • The Other Realm elections have some really odd topics - changing the sound magic makes from a 'ding' to a 'ping' and changing the pronunciation of Friday.
    • And in The Stinger Salem happily reveals the latter one did get passed.
  • Hilda suggests Sabrina join her political party.
    "It's called the Party Party. Our slogan is 'party!'"
  • Mrs Quick arriving at the Spellman house, remarking "how strange" it is to see a cat eating a banana.
  • Sabrina conjures up Monty Hall to complete her illusion of the family secret game show. After Zelda busts her niece, Monty sighs that he was hoping 'Guess the Family Secret' would go into syndication.
  • Sabrina's attempts at decoding the M + picture of fire clue. She can only get "m'fire".
    Sabrina: Here's a better idea. You're m'fired!
    Salem: You can't m'fire me! I m'quit.
    • It also turns out that even Mrs Quick, the expert on solving clues, only came up with M'Fire too.
  • The Hard-Work Montage of Sabrina trying to make bread and butter from scratch. Mrs Quick may be from the Midwest but she's woefully incompetent on a farm. The last scene in the montage shows her being tied up for her own good.
  • Hilda and Zelda somehow end up mud wrestling over the mental floss debate.
  • Sabrina's description of her day?
    "I've touched parts of animals you wouldn't put in sausages!"

Episode 23 - "Sabrina the Sandman"

  • The aunts get a 'warning' from the Other Realm that Sabrina should solve the family secret soon, so they forbid her from going to a job interview until she solves it. After she leaves the room, the same warning guy (literally just dressed as a giant traffic cone) tells them they can't force her. Sabrina comes back into the room to protest...and the aunts act as if the first conversation never happened and urge her to get to the job interview early. Sabrina notes that she'll have to check if senility is hereditary.
  • The legal ways of motivating Sabrina to solve her family secret?
    • A crew of drunk middle-aged men cheering her on as if watching a football game.
    • Cocoa with 'solve it' spelled out in marshmallows.
    • The bedroom door squeaking "solve the family secret" whenever it's opened.
    • A fresco above her bed that we never end up seeing.
  • Some more Snark-to-Snark Combat between Sabrina and Salem.
    Sabrina: Salem! What are you doing in my bag? And it better not be what I saw you doing in the Flanagans' sandbox!
    • Harvey's dream.
    Sabrina: See, Harvey's worried about passing his French test. It has nothing to do with me.
    Salem: And denial is a river in Egypt.
    • Zelda's dream is her making out with George Washington! She gets rightfully mocked for it by Salem.
  • Sabrina tormenting Mr Kraft by using his nightmare about peas. And in a Black Comedy sort of way, we see him being committed because he got triggered by a proposed school play of The Princess and the Pea. Of course this part is All Just a Dream.
  • Libby's dream is just her walking through the hallway insulting people as normal. Sabrina realises "every day at school is a dream come true" for her.
    Libby: There's a spill.
    Two boys lie down to let her walk over their backs.
    Sabrina: Yep. That happened today.

Episode 24 - "Silent Movie"

  • The Imagine Spot of what it could be like to live with Zelda married to Mr Kraft - The Brady Bunch inspired credits!
  • Zelda has no illusions about married life.
    "And we'll all live tolerantly ever after."
  • The spell Hilda casts on herself literally just makes it so that 'mum' is the only word she can say. Sabrina lampshades the silliness of such a spell existing.
  • Poor Valerie falls for an IOU signed 'Obi Wan Kenobi'.
    • When she's reduced to crying at all the money she needs to collect, Mr Kraft snarks "save your tears for debtors' prison!"
  • The silent film is quite brilliant for these.
    • Sabrina experiences how painful corsets are and when she's tied to the train tracks, starts screaming and then realises there's probably no use to screaming in a silent film.
    • A Conflict Ball comes in the form of a storm in Sabrina's room, preventing her from getting to her magic book. And blowing a pine cone of all things into her mouth. She even gets a "bleh!" title card because of it.
    • While Mr Kraft is tying Sabrina and the aunts to the train tracks, Zelda remarks that she's starting to think he might not be very nice.
    • Kraft is done in by having an epic pie fight.
    • Salem's role is just playing the piano in a cat version of Charlie Chaplin's trademark suit. He gets a title card saying "I should have had a bigger role in this picture!"
  • It turns out that instead of proposing, Willard just wants Zelda to do his taxes. She smashes a vase over his head. And yet after that, he still asks her to go steady.

Episode 25 - "The Good, the Bad & the Luau"

  • It turns out the Spellmans are related to Pele, the Hawaiian goddess of fire. And she keeps having to put out flames whenever she appears out of thin air.
  • Poor Zelda keeps accidentally insulting family members at the reunion, and getting sand shoved down her throat as punishment.
    [To Hilda] "I can understand you not stopping them, but did you have to keep shouting 'more, more, she can take it'?"
  • When showing the montage of Sabrina and Katrina's contrasting uses of magic, Hilda asks who picked the dreadful background music.
    • One of Katrina's uses of magic includes summoning a crowd of children for her to read to. Hilda tries to argue in Sabrina's favour - "I think those children were being read to against their will!"
  • Sabrina scares the doctors in the delivery room away by covering their hands in a red substance. It's barbecue sauce.
  • Zelda still can't believe that Hilda turned out to be the Good Twin in her pairing.
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     Season 4 
Episode 1 - "No Place Like Home"
  • The aunts are worried that Sabrina will move out, so Zelda casts a smiling spell that forces them to grin toothily.
  • Through pure coincidence, whenever Sabrina checks in on her friends and family to see how they're adjusting to her moving away, she sees them laughing.
  • Salem whimpering at Sabrina moving out, saying he misses his "Sabrinee" - and everyone who hears that nickname does a Double Take.
  • Britney Spears is summoned to give Sabrina a private concert. Halfway through the song, she stops to realise that Sabrina needs a good pep talk.
    • Fade to Britney trying to teach Sabrina how to dance. Emphasis on 'trying'.

Episode 2 - "Dream A Little Dreama Me

  • Dreama is such a Disaster Dominoes of a person that she causes all sorts of accidents for Sabrina.
    Dreama: I've had days like that.
    Sabrina: You are a day like that!
  • Hilda blows up her violin as a way of changing careers.
  • Zelda sums up how often Hilda's new clock shop has kept changing businesses in the past - it's been a nail salon three times!
  • Dreama is a little too quick to help Sabrina out when she wishes Brad would move back to Texas; she accidentally zaps them to the Wild West!
    • And towards the end of the episode she feels thirsty...cut to Niagara Falls!
    Sabrina: Let's go over this again!
  • Dreama's spell to fill the yearbook photos with students from "years gone by" conjures up two teens from the 50s. She tries to get Sabrina's attention from the back of class and when Sabrina sees the two past teens, Melissa Joan Hart does an epic Face Palm.
  • Sabrina thinks Brad has turned Dreama into a mouse, grabs said mouse off him and starts dramatically apologising - only for Dreama to pop up behind her, and Brad to deadpan that the mouse is his science project.

Episode 3 - "Jealousy"

  • Salem in the prologue wants to call in to Nick Backay's show to complain about how annoying his voice is.note 
  • Zelda's dates with Mr Kraft include a Monster Truck rally, where he got her a personalised foam finger. Quite a stretch from her preferred destination of the opera or the ballet.
    • And towards the end of the episode, she has finally asked Willard to the ballet. She's enjoying it, while he's snoring in the seat beside her.
  • Hilda walks in on Zelda, Willard and Wally covered in dust from the basement. Wally asks about "this dust storm of enchantment", and Hilda says he can call her that from now on if he likes.
  • Zelda's honesty spell leaves Mr Kraft telling Sabrina and Harvey that he often sucks his thumb in bed out of anxiety.
    Sabrina: This is new. Getting sick before lunch.
  • Sabrina's jealousy results in her eyes glowing green. As she tries to sleep, the eyes glow in the dark, prompting Salem to quip about "the first envy-powered night light."
  • Sabrina conjures up Tara Lipinski to be her new best friend. Tara apparently has a great time at school, taking the time to thank Sabrina for how nice her friends are - "even though I'm in the middle of a psychotic episode"
  • Mr Kraft pops into the classroom to announce that detention is all cancelled, because "my brother didn't steal my gal!" (which he sings!)
  • Sabrina's emotional epiphany at the end of the episode has her trying to give a "World of Cardboard" Speech while Harvey tries to take her to the nurse for a concussion.

Episode 4 - "Little Orphan Hilda"

  • Hilda's business is being stolen by a monkey in a cheesy outfit. So she forces Salem into the same outfit and has him spin plates outside the shop.
  • Sabrina panicking that she might fade away. When she answers the door to Harvey, she squeals that she thought she'd never see him again. He asks if she's going blind, which makes her check her own eyesight.
    • She also freaks out when she finds a "nameless teddy bear that I have no connection to! When I get back, I'm naming you!"
  • Zelda finds out she's adopted too, and when she tells Hilda, her sister just snarks that she can never have her own moment.

Episode 5 - "Spoiled Rotten"

  • Sabrina trying to deny that her magic credit card has affected her by insisting she's not enjoying the manicure she just conjured up for herself.
  • After their lecture to Sabrina about the importance of being selfless, the aunts look to the mountain of stuff in front of the door and try to remember how they got in the room in the first place.
  • The gold medal from the attic turns Mrs Quick into a competitive freak - giving her this attitude towards a charity sale.
    "We shall drink from a cup of our enemies' annihilation!"
  • Harvey buys a hard hat that turns him into a Handsome Lech, and it's not long before he's getting slapped by an offended barista.
  • Brad's purchase is a bronze lion that turns into a real lion that terrorises him in his room. It is kind of satisfying to see the Jerkass brought down a peg, especially as he tries to appease it with "nice kitty".
    "You're not still hungry are you? That was my last Skittle!"
    • At the climax, he comes back in with the lion back as a statue, and no explanation of how he did that - although his clothes are in tatters.
  • Mr Kraft just keeps replicating his gold brick, and he's turned it into a catchy little song by the time Sabrina finds him.
  • Sabrina trying to cover up the spoiling rotten smell by wearing a coat made of flowers, and car fresheners as earrings. Harvey asks why she's wearing them on her ears, and she replies "well, they'd look ridiculous on my shoes."
  • Sabrina gives Mrs Quick her charm bracelet as a Pet the Dog moment. Mrs Quick then hopes she won't have to declare it on her taxes.

Episode 6 - "Episode LXXXI: The Phantom Menace"

  • The zombies that swarm the coffee house don't attack Sabrina and Dreama - they end up having a party. 'Thriller' style!
  • Josh's introduction.
    Sabrina: I'm looking for the manager.
    Josh: Are you from the health department?
    Sabrina: No.
    Josh: Then I'm the manager.
  • Hilda and Zelda trying to set the mood for Edgar Allen Poe's visit - Hilda wants the sound of thunder and lightning in the background and Zelda wants clanking chains. This is Serious Business.
  • Edgar Allen Poe's new material turns out to be things with "rainbows and sparkles".
    • The best part? When Salem reads them his stories they turn out to be completely terrified.

Episode 7 - "Prelude to a Kiss"

  • Sabrina's pager is on vibrate, so whenever Dreama alerts her, she ends up giggling hysterically over the tickles. This first happens while Josh's friend is excitedly talking about what's happening in a Soap Opera. Sabrina tries to cover up the laughing as crying over the storyline.
  • Dreama doesn't understand football, so she keeps trying to ask everyone else in the crowd about the rules. By the end of the game, everyone has moved away to avoid sitting beside her.
    • We cut to her jumping up and down screaming for Harvey - because she thought he was on the field when he wasn't.
    • And when he does start, she starts to cheer...and then starts booing because Sabrina will have to miss it.
  • Sabrina's nerves keep making her conjure up pineapples.
  • The pirates from Season 3 are hired to act as the aunts' housekeepers. And in the end they reject the position not being able to put up with the aunts!
    Zelda: I don't think I've ever been fired by an employee before.

Episode 8 - "Aging Not So Gracefully"

  • Dreama's spell to help Sabrina ends with "make her as old as dirt". So Sabrina turns into a pile of dirt.
    "Yeah, Josh will just sweep me away."
  • After using too much of the Oil of Old Age, Sabrina becomes a forty-something wine mom who's asking Josh about his intentions on their first date.
  • When she's in her oldest form, after being rejected by Josh (who doesn't recognise her), Sabrina looks down at the frumpiest matronly dress imaginable and laments that she wore her "cutest outfit".
  • At the end, Sabrina turns herself back into the elderly form so she can invoke Screw Politeness, I'm a Senior!.

Episode 9 - "Love Means Having To Say You're Sorry"

  • Sabrina's attempts to repair her relationship with Harvey involve going literally back to the drawing board - she has to draw out their conversations.
    • "All is forgiven and forgotten" gives Harvey Laser-Guided Amnesia.
    • "To err is human, to forgive divine" turns him into William Shakespeare.
    • Her final attempt turns him into a priest!
  • The aunts trying to read a mortal cookbook to cook Thanksgiving dinner.
    Hilda: "Salt and pepper to taste"? This is hard!
  • It seems other witches felt the same way about the rule to not zap up Thanksgiving Dinner - so there's a spell to conjure up pilgrims to do it for them.
  • The pilgrims Running Gag of screaming "Witch! Witch!" every time the aunts do magic or they see a modern convenience. Their final one comes as Zelda uses a lighter on the candles, prompting her to give them a look that says "really?" - and even they admit it's just a habit.
  • After the pilgrims realise Salem has no powers to punish them, we see him tied to a stake ready to be burnt. Sure pilgrims didn't actually do that, but for Salem you can understand why they would.
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