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It's a world without Light, but not a world without laughter.

For funny moments from the first game, go here.

Teasers and Trailers

  • "Last Call", the teaser for Destiny 2 is nothing but pure Bathos as our favorite Exo Hunter, Cayde-6, is at a bar as he recounts how he kicked some Cabal ass when they breached the Vanguard war room... while they're still in the middle of fighting off a full-scale invasion.
    Zavala: Cayde! Any day now!
    Cayde: Jeez, a guy has one drink. Coming.
    • The teaser very casually drops a pretty perspective changing revelation: Exo eat food. In game lore shows they even get hungry.
    • And Cayde's telling this story to none other than the viewer, right? Nah. He's talking to a cleaning Frame.
      Cayde-6: "Guess you had t' be there."
    • The room they're in got shot to pieces and the robot is still cleaning...
    • Even funnier when it's revealed after you've done Leviathan Raid that one of the cleaning robot is Calus's emissary, so it's basically Cabal's emperor watching his betrayer causing ruckus across the system... and Cayde-6 is bragging to him.
  • "Rally the Troops" trailer has Cayde-6 stumbling his way through a Rousing Speech that is failing to inspire any of his Guardians, made even funnier when juxtaposed against Zavala's speech. However, Cayde manages to salvage it by saying the one thing that would inspire all Guardians in and out of universe.
    Cayde-6: ...also THERE WILL BE A TON OF LOOT! (Everyone cheers)
    • Cayde-6 revealing the name of the Cabal leader.
    Zavala: Today we know our enemy. His name is...
    Cayde-6: Gary! Or...Gil. Glen. Is it...I don't know. It's something with a "G"!
    Zavala: ...Ghaul!
    Cayde-6: So...everything is gone. Your stuff, my stuff, but most importantly, MY STUFF.
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    • While in the middle of his...unorthodox speech, Cayde also makes it clear what's at stake.
    Cayde-6: ...Which means if I don't see you out there! *unsheathes his knife* I'll kill you myself. (Cut to a Titan in Oh, Crap! Mode)
    • The simple fact that Cayde is essentially a surrogate for the player base, being more concerned about losing his gear from the last game, giving the Big Bad a mundane nickname, and selling people on the war with the promise of more loot.
    • Cayde now sells maps to his stash boxes on various planets that contain loot and items. The most world-shattering super-secret can't-live-without-it item? Dried celery.
  • A Bungie livestream revealed in the Homecoming mission that yes, the cleaning frame just outside of the Speaker's area is still sweeping even in the middle of the Red Fleet invasion, but this time he's cleaning up the dead Cabal surrounding him.
    • Before the gameplay, you have the opening cinematic for the mission, and for all its seriousness, Cayde still can make a joke or two.
      Cayde-6: Ikora, if you tell me this is a practical joke... well, it kills me to say it, but I'd be really impressed.
      Ikora: Impressing you, Cayde, is the easiest thing I'll do all day
      Zavala: Let's get serious, people.
      Cayde-6: Zavala, this is my serious face. (looks on in glee) Can't you tell?
      • Note that as an mechanical Exo, Cayde doesn't really have facial expressions.
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  • As terrifying as Ghaul's speech is as he drains your Light, there's something amusingly dismissive about how he just taps you off his ship. He doesn't throw you or punt you. He just lightly taps you with his foot, because you're not worth any more effort.
  • The trailer for the Coldheart Trace Rifle pre-order bonus is set to, what else, but Ice Ice Baby. Just the sight of Guardians doing a dance number, the contrast of the lyrics going "cold, cooold" with Stuff Blowing Up, and even a shot of the Cabal dancing is just so ridiculous, you forget the entire premise of the game.
  • The Live-Action Trailer:
    • First off, it's starts with narration from Cayde-6, so you know it's going to be funny.
    • The Dominus of the Red Legion, annihilator of suns, razer of a thousand worlds, is referred to by Cayde as a "psycho rhino named Ghaul".
    • A list of things gone, mostly modern creature comforts ("skinny no-foam vanilla latte[s]", "binge-watching", "carbs" and "love songs"), each one exploding as Cayde lists it.
      • "The Grand Canyon? Ruined!" As you see a relatively small explosion that has no lasting effect on the Canyon wall.
      "Okay, that didn't change much, BUT..."
      • The list continues with surprise parties, ketchup and mustard, late-night texts, Taco Tuesdays, culminating in...
      Cayde: "Puppies are..." [cut to Cayde mimicking an explosion]
      Cayde: "I know, right?! Who does that?! I mean, I'm more of a cat guy, but still..."
      • Even better? The late-night text was from Garynote .
      • Wanna up the ante? The list changes depending on country! (E.G. UK Version: Cup of tea, morning fry-ups, comfy slippers, red sauce and mustard, and Mum's Sunday Roast.)
      • "It's time to bring out the big guns!"
      beat
      Cayde: "It's not a metaphor, guys. Go grab some big guns!"
      Cayde: Do it for the Tower, and the ramen shops! Do it for the LOOT they've taken from us! But most importantly, DO IT-
      Titan: FOR THE PUPPIES!!! [Visor slams closed as he charges headlong into the fight ]
      Cayde: Uh... follow that guy.
    • Finally, after a montage of the three Guardians kicking Red Legion butt, it cuts back to Cayde and:
      Cayde: I am so proud...of myself right now.
  • Playstation Japan throws their hat into the ring with their live-action trailer. Specifically, a massive dance party!

Gameplay

  • Witty flavor texts are back in full force:
    Does Not Compute: The engineers aren't ready for us.
    Main Ingredient: Now stir the sauce...
    Bad News: Sit Down. We need to talk.
    Bandersnatcher (Hunter Chest Armor): "When have you ever known Hunters to do as they were told?"
    Lucky Pants: "What? No, I didn't illegally modify the holster. These are just really lucky pants!" - Cayde-6note 
    Hardcase Helm: "No hard feelings?" - Unknown Party / "What are feelings?" - Unknown Titan
    Exodus Down Mask: "I used some of my own code to program this armor! But if you die, it's your fault. Not mine." - Failsafe
    Disrespectful Stare: Don't you look at me that way!
    Fatum Praevaricator: Great galactic powers journey to Earth to find their destiny (which is disintegration by Nova Bomb).
    Bond of the Raven Shard: "The ravens come for our lost souls." "No, you Exo prat-they've come because you're shiny."
    Sealed Ahamkara Grasps: Plating the Ahamkara bones in silver helps to quiet the auditory hallucinations… o bearer mine.
    Shepherd's Watch: Nobody talks about the day the Shepherd's staff became the Shepherd's rifle.
    Mechanik 1.1: "Get out of here, stalker" - Traditional farewell in the Appalachian Dead Zone.
    War Mantis legs/cloak: The more we danced, the more the Cabal battlenet lit up with requests for intelligence.../...And that's how we mapped the entire Cabal warnet by shredding the dance floor.
    Steel Sybil Z-14: "Everything I touch falls to pieces! I see fragments on the floor!" "Well, isn't that a good thing? You know, if you're a sword?"
  • Anytime someone gets killed by Cabal drop pod. Especially if they're driving vehicle.
  • Sparrow Surfing still works!
  • Among those claimed by Red Legion's invasion is, most unforgivably, the beloved Purple Ball.
    • Fear not; the Purple Ball returns in all its glory once the Tower has been reclaimed.
  • If you thought Shaxx was already overly excitable in Destiny 1, you'll find him even more so in here.
    Lord Shaxx: (Shutting down opponent using Super) "Deee-lightful!"
    Lord Shaxx: (Ditto) "YEAAAAAAHHH!!!!!"
    • This carries over into his ambient vendor comments too.
    • In fact Shaxx on the Farm moves from hammy to flat out deranged. When the Traveler has been captured and maybe only one Guardian has gotten their light back to be able to respawn from death:
    • For Warlocks who do really well in the Crucible, Shaxx may make a confession.
    Shaxx: Who said Warlocks were better with books than with guns? ...Okay, it was me. But I was lying. Rage is an excellent motivator!
    (upon going into overtime and then being tied at the end, resulting in no winner): I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO TO BE ANGRY AT!
    (ditto): What? Where's my catharsis? Boo! Boooooooo!
    (ditto): That can't be right. Really?
    (getting the "Leave None Standing" medal): Was that all of them? THAT WAS ALL OF THEM!!!
    (rapidly killing the enemy team in close quarters): Stop it! You're SCARING THEM!
    • During Iron Banner, Saladin replaces Shaxx as the announcer, and he also has some hilarious lines thanks to his more serious and deadpan delivery:
    (achieving the "We Ran Out of Medals" medal): DIE! DIE! DIE! (cough) Sorry. I've been watching too many Iron Banner matches. What time is it? Shaxx. SHAXX!! Are you there? Can you get me a water? Stop yelling, it's just a question! I'M NOT OLD!
    (getting Power Weapon ammo) In the Dark Age, we called this...fun.
    (opposing team has a big lead) This isn't over until Shaxx sings, and he's very shy.
    (victory) Do you like it better when Lord Shaxx oversees these matches? So do I. A busy Shaxx is a quiet Shaxx.note 
  • "The Inverted Spire" Strike:
    • The Cabal dig sites turn out to be a myriad of skyscraper-sized drills. Your Ghost note how... excessive this is.
    Ghost: "Even Cabal scientists are big lumbering jerks."
    Ghost: "Right through those pointy drill bits? eheheheh! Good!"
    Ghost: (alternatively) "This is fine, this is fine, this is fine, THIS IS JUST FINE'!"
  • Not one minute in the first opening of The Farm during beta test did the Guardians starts climbing anything they can climb, including power lines suspending about 4-5 stories high above the soccer field and then dance on it.
  • During a Taken-related adventure in the European Dead Zone, there's this exchange:
    Ikora: Severing their bond must cause a backlash to the host. *Beat* Interesting.
    Cayde: Am I the only one who has no idea what any of you are talking about?
    Ikora: Yes.
    • And also this:
    Cayde: Serves 'em right for messing with things they don't understand.
    Ikora: Which is your area of expertise, after all.
  • During a cutscene in "Looped," the player finally catches up to Cayde at the core of Nessus. Over the course of that particular section of the mission, your Ghost keeps asking Cayde what the hell happened. At the end, Cayde is both fed up with Ghost demanding to know why he got caught and the Guardian's Heroic Mime status. However, Ghost pushes both of those buttons, which gives this lovely line from him:
    Cayde: Oh my cotton socks! Did you not hear what I just said?! *fades away*
    • This is then followed up by Ghost commenting "This is probably why they don't like him leaving the Tower." To which the Guardian can only shrug and nod in agreement.
    • When Cayde shouts at the player to say something they motion like they're about to before Ghost cuts them off. The Guardian's response is to incredulously look at Ghost as if to say "Dude, what the fuck?"
    • When the The Guardian first meets Cayde 6 there’s a Call-Back to the first game’s “I don’t have time to explain why I don’t have time to explain“ line.
    Cayde: I don't have time to explain what I don't have time to understand!
  • The mission for unlocking Patrol missions. The premise is simply that Cayde-6 wants to slack off from it and dumps the job on Devrim Kay. When you get around to doing so with Devrim, Hawthorne drops by, whom Dev invites to accompany him after explaining. Hawthorne simply decides to bail. Then Zavala hops on the channel and decides to watch. The kicker is how Zavala takes more enjoyment out of this, briefly hijacking Dev's role as Mission Control at the end, and remark about how he "loves infrastructure".
  • The lore behind the Graviton Lance Exotic follows a conversation between a Guardian who found it and their friend who's in disbelief that the gun fires micro black holes. The friend asks if the Guardian is gonna show everyone, to which they say yes... in the Crucible
  • When the Vanguard is debating how to get into the city without Ghaul knowing Hawthorne reveals herself to have sneaked in and has her own ideas.
    Hawthorne: You know... the City wall is a lot like this barn. Plenty of places to slip in unseen. So long as you know how.
    Cayde: *As she hops down* You sure you're not one of my Hunters?
    Hawthorne: Hah. Not really into capes.
    Cayde: Clearly. Nice poncho.
  • Cayde getting jealous of the player being given a tank on their way to the Almighty.
    Amanda: Say hello to the Drake!
    Ghost: You got us a TANK?!
    Cayde: You got them a TANK? How come I never got a tank?
    Amanda: You know you'd just break it.
    • His jealousy only continues as Holliday makes it clear she's got more than enough to keep resupplying us.
      Cayde: Oh so I get nothing, and they get as many as they want. I see how it is.
    • When complaining to Holliday gets him nowhere he makes it Zavala's problem and starts bugging him for one instead. Zavala tries to flatter Cayde into submission. It doesn't work.
      Cayde: So, if it wasn't to give me a tank—why did you send our favorite Guardian to find me?
      Zavala: Your...high-risk, high-reward combat maneuvers can be effective...and inspirational.
      Cayde: Well yeah, but with a tank they could be like a million times MORE inspirational!
    • Which led to this at the end of the mission:
      Zavala: Good work, Guardian. And Cayde...after all this is over, I'll talk to Holliday about your tank.
      Cayde: Aw...I missed you too, buddy.
  • When retaking the City, how do our now-powerless allies overtake a Cabal Centurion? By distracting it with a chicken! And by the time we see it, they've done it six times already. And Cayde named the chicken "Colonel"!
    • When the aforementioned Centurion is distracted by the chicken, he actually stops and stares at it for a moment, with a curious expression like "Huh, I wonder what this thing tastes like?" on his face.
    • The best part of this is when we first see Cayde holding the chicken during the Vanguard's makeshift strategy meeting. Ikora is trying to explain the risks involved with simply destroying the Almighty and has to pause for a second when she looks over at Cayde. After all this time, he still manages to find ways to confuse her, and even the subtitles have an ellipsis.
  • During the "Deathless" adventure on Titan, Ghost comments on how annoying it is to fight a Hive Knight who just keeps coming back from death.
    Ghost: This is irritating. This must be how the Cabal feel about us!
  • A scannable terminal in the Arcology on Titan has Ghost reading off a log about the crop yields, which involve Pomefigs, Kiwicumbers, and...
  • During one mission in the EDZ, the player is recruited by Asher Mir and Failsafe to research the Taken.... with Failsafe along for computational capacity and the Young Wolf being brought in for brute force. Even if they're a Warlock. Asher is also quick to point out that his experiments involving the Taken are in no way suspicious at all.
    • The "research" that Asher wants you to conduct? Punching Taken in the face. You can only gather the requisite 'data' with melee kills. Ten of them, specifically.
    • Failsafe talking about how the Taken will sweep across the entire region "like a scourge" in the same cheerful tone of voice she uses elsewhere. Then her more acerbic side pipes in, commenting in a sing-song voice that "They're gonna get Taaaa-keeeen!"
  • In his spare time, Cayde-6... reads sappy romance novels.
    • Cayde's Odds and Ends in general are hilarious random objects;
      Ascendant Artichoke: Apparently Cayde thought it necessary to expose this extremely rare vegetable to a Hive summoning ritual.
      Roryx Test: Some see a fun, engaging challenge. I only see pain.
      Spinfoil Hat: I never got the sense that Cayde was paranoid, but who knows what kind of rays are polluting the system these days.
  • The lore entry for the Dinas Emrys Sparrow is pure gold. From Cayde commenting that Executor Hideo has "his knickers real tight today," Dead Orbit's representative(s) laughing their asses off, to Ikora's sass ("Obviously, Gris has not had contact with an Ahamkara... If she did, she'd win SRL more often."), to Cayde's whistle at the burn, to the crowner:
    Commander Zavala: Let the record show: The Consensus' official stance on the Dinas Emrys dragon symbol is: cool.
  • In the "Leviathan" raid, when you reach Emperor Calus, how do you start the fight with him? Shoot his wine cup out of his hand. He then starts trying to kill the fireteam.
    • A part of the raid involves what's basically your entire fireteam barging into Cabals in a bath and shooting them up.
    • Even better, another way to start the fight is to simply stand right next to him, yielding the same results.
    • It makes sense, and is even funnier, once you learn what Royal Wine is. It's a vinter that can only be produced by destroying planets. No wonder he got mad when you blasted it, you just wasted god-knows-how-much time by blowing up the chalice!.
      • It gets funnier when you realize that he's a massive hypocrite about it because the throne room and the corridor before it is already covered in the stuff. It's the hard purple stuff you've been walking on. "Waste not, want not" apparently doesn't apply to him... But only if he's the only violating it.
      • On close examination, the cup doesn't even have anything in it. And why would it, since that's not even the real Calus "drinking" from it?
  • The Mythos Hack 4.1 helmet describes an in-universe play called "Tyranus Rex," about a king who was revived by science and eventually ate his creator Hamalco. In other words, it's Jurassic Park reimagined as Shakespearean tragedy. Just because.
  • Finding the Dead Orbit scannable in the new Tower has Ghost comment on a bunch of forum posts from the Dead Orbit network. He comments that it's about what you'd expect: a bunch of dark-themed whiners spouting endless nihilism.
  • In a hilarious bit of developers foresight one of the very first adventures the players unlock can change dialogue if the right conditions are met. In the adventure to get the Fallen and the Red Legion to fight each other instead of the Guardians and Farm's militia Ghost forges a message in Fallen speak and transmits it over a Cabal communication cipher that Devrim swiped. If you beat the game first the message he forges says that when the Guardians retook the city Ghaul ran away crying. Like a big baby.
  • One of Xur's ambient dialogue options mentions him trying to go to the old Tower, but "it was empty." Looks like the Guardians forgot to send him the new address....
  • One of the Nessus scannables reveals that the Vex are emitting radio waves. Specifically:
    Ghost: "Even broken Vex gates are pretty interesting. This one is emitting radio waves. I can almost... okay. Somehow the Vex are listening to classic rock from the Golden Age. They're death robots with good taste in music."
    • Another Vex scannable is for a relatively small Vex gate, which Ghost says has the signatures of hundreds of Hydras. Since the gate is barely big enough to accommodate a Ghost, let alone a Hydra, he'll comment on the hilarious mental image of hundreds of tiny Hydras zipping around.
  • Approaching certain public events on Nessus where the Vex are clearly doing something will result in this exchange.
    Ghost: The Vex are building something!
    Failsafe: Calculating probability! (very long pause) Yes! They are!
    Ghost: (angry grumbling)
    • And when you do enough of these events, this exchange may occur instead:
    Failsafe: Another Vex construction project! You could say their persistence is... inspiring! note 
    Ghost: Did she—Did they program puns into—You know what? Nevermind.
    • Even better is Devrim's quote for the Cabal Excavation event once you've done enough in the EDZ:
    Devrim: Guardian, you know the drill.
  • One Cabal public event involves the Red Legion carrying out intelligence mission with a gigantic Injector Rig. No one seems to know what the huge machine that spew flame at anyone who gets close had to do with finding intel.
  • The lore entry for Cayde's Lucky Pants is him doing another search query... for ways to beat Lord Shaxx at the Crucible.
    ?> cheat crucible
    CRUCIBLE PARTICIPANTS ARE SUBJECT TO A STRICT CODE OF CONDUCT. CHEATERS WILL BE BANNED.
    ?> what about cheating like just a little
    SORRY, I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND "what about cheating like just a little".
    ?> ok what counts as cheating
    TO ACT DISHONESTLY OR UNFAIRLY IN ORDER TO GAIN AN ADVANTAGE.
    ?> is luck cheating
    “LUCK” AND “CHEATING” ARE NOT EQUIVALENT.
    ?> are my pants lucky
    PROBABLY NOT.
    ?> wrooooooong theyre super lucky
    • Evidently not lucky enough, as the only person recorded to have beaten Shaxx in the Crucible is (still) Ikora.
  • The lore tab for the ACD/0 Feedback Fence reveals two things: One, AC/DC is considered pre-classical music. Two, the Exo engineer that made them is certainly not winking. It is a malfunction.
  • The lore entry for Zavala's Authority contains Zavala's barely-contained hatred for machine minds, Cayde-6's understandable sulking about Zavala's said hatred, and the Titan Vanguard actually making a joke at Cayde's expense, to which the Exo responds as expected:
    C6: IKORA! ZAVALA MADE A JOKE! You're not Ikora. Where's Ikora? IKORA!
  • The "Exodus Crash" Strike's dialogue is a goldmine of lighthearted moments despite the stakes at risk, given Zavala, Cayde-6 and Failsafe are your Mission Control. Zavala insists on calling the endeavour "Operation Piccolo", much to Ghost's bemusement.
    Ghost: Piccolo? Really?
    Cayde: [Whispering] We don't have to call it that. We'll give it a better name. Later.
    • After Cayde manages to hack his way back into Failsafe and your Guardian's communication, the AI is less than thrilled and snarks back and forth at both Cayde and Ghost with her sweet persona.
    Failsafe: Cayde unit? Ghost? Kindly delete yourselves.
    • By the time you reach the Exodus Black's Aft, Failsafe thanks you and your Ghost for trying to help her out, noting that the damage probably feels worse that it actually is. Ghost awkwardly reassures her the situation is under control, before reminding you to hurry since Failsafe is practically melting.
    • Alternatively, reaching the Aft has Failsafe get fed up with Cayde, telling him to keep quiet in mechanical lifeform terms.
    Failsafe: Cayde unit, shut your modulator.
    Cayde: No, you do that!
    • After you defeat Thaviks, Zavala tries to hail you after being cut off earlier by Failsafe (as Fireteam Piccolo, no less), but since he gets no response, he decide to start a rescue mission himself with the name "Operation Oboe", with all the seriousness that entails.
    Ghost: Shouldn't we tell him we're fine?
    Cayde-6: Nah, it's better this way.
    • An alternate ending dialogue has Failsafe ask about any remnants of the crew...which would be a tear jerker if not for getting hijacked by how dejected both her and Cayde sound over different things.
    Failsafe: [...]Have you found any artifacts of the crew? Any burial sites?
    Ghost: Nothing but a Fallen fortress built out of your old colony ship. I'm sorry
    Failsafe: That's okay...I guess
    Cayde: No Golden Age Rayguns?
    Ghost: No.
    Cayde: Well that's okay I guess.
  • During the Nessus adventure "Deep Conversation", Failsafe tells your Ghost that the Vex think that he's lacking a holistic view of the universe, so they offer to "help him" (which inevitably means attempting to kill the Player Character), to which Ghost immediately declines.
  • One Titan mission has you running an important MacGuffin across a set of platforms being overrun by the Hive, and no, you can't summon your Sparrow here, nor would you even have it if you'd been playing the game normally until this point. If this were Halo you'd think they'd at least give us a tank or a Warthog-equivalent... wait, are those forklifts? And surprisingly fast and tough forklifts, to boot? Never mind, I think we all know what to do now.
  • During the Arms Dealer strike, Cayde has a... curious fixation on Zahn's flame turrets, even asking you to bring back some schematics of one.
    • Most of the dialogue in the Arms Dealer strike is hilarious, serving as a moment of violent catharsis, even in-universe. In it, we discover that Cayde-6 totally absolutely definitely didn't have anything to do with why we aren't allowed to have flares any more, amongst many other things;
    Cayde-6: Did you shoot up a flare? I thought we weren't allowed to have flares after I... had nothing to do with why we're not allowed to have flares.
    • And then there's this;
    Ghost: Hey, that tank dropped a solar fusion coil - WHY WOULD YOU PICK THAT UP?!
    Cayde-6: So s/he can find where it'll do the most damage. Smart.
    Ghost: Is it?!
    Hawthorne: Is this what "be brave" means for you Guardians? I didn't know it was a prayer.
    Also:
    Ghost: We did it! And we didn't blow up!
    Cayde-6: Yeah, not blowing up is the best you can hope for sometimes.
    Hawthorne: Way to reach for the stars.
    • There's also a brief moment where Cayde ponders why Zahn hasn't repainted the ship chartreuse to match his armour, eliciting some confusion from Hawthorne. Sure enough when you get to him, Zahn has this horrendous yellow-green accenting on his armour.
    • While discussing the amount of Zahn's lieutenants the fireteam have had to put down, Hawthorne mentions that insecure men (like Zahn) often surround themselves with others like themselves in order to feel important.
    Ghost: Cayde, anything to add?
    Cayde-6: No, she's totally right. Which is why I work alone.
    • Cayde also comically misses the point, on the subject of elevators;
    Cayde-6: The Cabal made an elevator that goes forward? Man, they ARE inefficient.
    • Note that the transport elevator that takes you to the final encounter does actually travel up and forward.
    • On completion of the strike, Zavala may drop in to congratulate the team for the run, which Cayde mentions was "totally by the book".
    Zavala: Does this say "flame turret"?
    Zavala: [Bitter and tired sigh]
    • Rarely, Cayde will start talking after the fireteam's begun doing what it does best, complaining that the group's already started without him, and how he actually was prepared to do his job properly, with "charts and everything" before giving up in a sulk.
  • There's a very very low percentage chance on the PS4 exclusive strike for the Vanguard's strike name generator to spit out something absurdly silly and activate special dialogue. Lance Riddick, Zavala's voice actor, was particularly caught off guard by this when he was already well into character. The dialogue plays out in such a way it's almost certain that the voice actors just started improvising.
    Zavala: Mobilizing fireteam for Operation, uh...Babydog? Why does this say Babydog? I must have forgotten to reboot the strike name generator.
    Devrim: Operation "Babydog?" Well, it has a certain ring to it, eh?
    Zavala: Yes..."Babydog". Well, the strike protocol is already running. Can't stop it now. Devrim?
    Devrim: *Barely holding his laughter* Yes, sorry. Fireteam "Babydog" the Taken are polluting the EDZ. We need to determine the source of—*Laughs*—I'm sorry, I can't...Stand-by fireteam.
    • Bounty: Enemies From Beyond: Complete any strike with a Taken boss at the end.
    "It was Stormcoat. Operation Stormcoat. Any other names have been stricken from the logs." — Zavala
  • Failsafe is proud to debut her latest opera! Which consists of her mimicking Omnigul's signature scream. Poor Asher's ears.
  • Failsafe's mood rubberbanding leans heavily on What Measure Is a Non-Human?/Androids Are People, Too at times;
    Friendly!Failsafe: (cheerfully) "That was a joke! Stealing is wrong. Usually. But the Vex are alien robot monsters. Standard moral parameters do not apply."
    Snarky!Failsafe: "It's not murder if it's robots!"
  • During the Pyramidion strike, which Asher Mir acts as Mission Control for, Asher may become exceptionally confused as you are clearly not experiencing the same journey as he did. It is not impossible that he will say 'impossible' at least a dozen times in Ikora's hearing, then several times more. Observant guardians may notice that the 'radiolarian lake' that Asher describes sounds a lot like the Inverted Spire bossfight's third phase... likely not a coincidence.
    Ikora: Asher's studying data on your current position. I believe he's said "Impossible!", oh, 12 times and counting. Here, I'll patch him in.
    Asher: (muttering to himself) Impossible! Impossible. But could it..? No, no, no, no, that's impossible. Impossible! Why? What could govern such an impossible discrepancy?
    • Sometimes, Ghost will wonder if the lake is a metaphor.
      Ghost: (quietly) Perhaps the lake is a metaphor..?
      Asher: (angrily, rambling somewhat) Summon the Genesis Mind. Destroy it. Make it suffer. And it is not a metaphor!
    • Ikora taking jabs at Asher.
      Ikora: Asher can't figure out where you are. If he drops out, it's because he's thrown a tantrum and broken his microphone.
      Asher: I heard that, you wretch!
      Ikora: Asher feels comfortable saying these things because he is on Io, and I am not.
    • Sometimes, Ikora will mention that he's confounded.
      Ikora: We're analyzing data from the Pyramidion...brace yourselves. I believe our Gensym Scribe is genuinely confounded.
      Asher: Inaccurate! I have never been confounded in my life!
  • During an Adventure to get Failsafe to hack into the Vex network on Nessus, the risk pops up that the Vex might catch her. She then drops this threat on your Ghost. Gains bonus points for saying this in her typical cheery voice.
    Failsafe: If they kill me, I will haunt your shell!
    • Then they do catch her, and it turns out the Vex have a Year Inside, Hour Outside situation that had Failsafe inside their computer for a decade by the time you save her. When the Ghost apologizes for his botched plan, she still uses her cheerful and happy tone when she's this:
      Ghost: I'm so sorry, I never meant to put you through that!
      Failsafe: But you did. And I never forget those who wrong me!
  • One of Crucible's medals is named "I Live Here Now".
  • The Gunsliger's lore entry. It's a Gunslinger telling a first-person story about how a Fallen Kell has him by the throat, but luckily he can pull his Golden Gun out of thin air to blast the thing. He even brags about how much he'll enjoy the look on the Kell's face... than remembers he already used his Golden Gun getting onto the ship.
  • There's an automated sign in the hangar of the Tower that counts "Days Since the Last Accident", optimistically to a three-digit number. Every time a player kills themselves by hurling themselves off the edge of the Tower (or through the convenient door to nowhere that sometimes opens up right next to the sign) it resets to zero. It's a very rare occurrence to see the sign at a higher count than 1. Even better, the sign is placed on the wall that Cayde-6 stares at all day where it no doubt taunts and tempts him for every minute he's on deck.
  • The lore entry for the Electronica Shell. It's a reporter writing a piece about what Guardians do when they aren't saving the galaxy, and how he thought they might be Not So Different from ordinary people. It turns out that Guardians dance. A lot. One person being interviewed say that's about all they do whenever he sees them; sometimes in groups, sometimes all alone. Another person says that sometimes, they "dance at each other."
    "I feel like I'm watching the nature channel."
  • Combat Mission Patrols where Cayde-6 can operate as Mission Control (such as those on Nessus) can be introduced with the following line.
    Cayde-6: I got some baddies on the trail near you. I heard them say some pretty disparaging things about your armor. And your mother. And your mother's armor.
  • At the end of the "Lake of Shadows" strike, one rare set of lines features a conversation between Commander Zavala and Devrim Kay, about how when Guardians and normal humans work together, the can achieve anything. At that point, Amanda Holiday (who has no involvement whatsoever in this particular Strike) abruptly cuts in to the line to mention that "I could listen to you two talk all day."
  • During the Leviathan raid, one of the enemies are "Ceremonial Bathers", Cabal Gladiators who are taking a bath in nothing but a swimsuit, then charge you with a pair of swords. It's not really much on the scale of bad things Emperor Calus has done...and yet, at the same time, it's semi-naked Cabal charging at you, which is somehow so much worse than anything Oryx or Ghaul ever did.

DLC1: Curse of Osiris

  • The Cinematic Trailer for Curse of Osiris opens with the titular Warlock freezing time while a raid team is fighting a swarm of Vex within the Vault of Glass. However, his Ghost, Sagira, proves that your Ghost isn't the only snarky Little Light.
    Sagira: Ominous rocks, killer robots, people in mortal danger. Seriously, aren't you tired of this?
    Osiris: Fatigue is a distraction from our purpose. As are complaints.
    Sagira: Oh, I haven't begun to complain yet. *floats into a Vex Slap Rifle laser* Ouch! Ooo, now I'm complaining!
    • Sagira later decides to play around and screw with the Vex by pointing their guns away from the Guardians.
      Sagira: Reach for the sky, big guy.
    • When Sagira discovers the Minotaur she played around with somehow returned to its original position, it turns to her, prompting this little nugget.
      Sagira: OH, SH-!
  • Whilst entering the Forest for the first time after reviving Sagira;
    Sagira: Osiris has adapted some of the technology of the Forest to his own purposes. We're going to run into his Reflections.
    They're copies - of himself. Made so he can explore multiple pathways at once.
    And yes, I am aware that it makes Osiris seem like an egomaniac.
    But don't worry, he is.
  • After Panoptes snags Sagira, the guardian finds themselves back outside the forest with their ghost back in Nolanbot mode. Unfortunately, Ghost doesn't remember anything since you revived Sagira, so he's a little confused.
    Ghost: I feel so strange. Like someone's rearranged all the furniture in my house except the house is my brain.
  • While fighting waves of Hive during the A Bug in the System Adventure,
    Ghost: You know, Oryx wouldn't need an Ascendant Realm if he had the Forest.
    Osiris: I've run that simulation, Oryx always needs an Ascendent Realm.
    Sagira: You both know Oryx is dead, right?
    • Either Fridge Brilliance or a Moment of Awesome for Osiris if you read the Books of Sorrow supplemental infonote  from The Taken King, which states that the Vex couldn't simulate Oryx beyond his pre-Hive state as Princess Aurash (Fridge Brilliance if it implies that Oryx couldn't be Oryx without an Ascendant Realm, Awesome Moment if it implies that Osiris could simulate Oryx in his Taken King state).
  • In the Garden World Strike, Osiris makes a grandiose statement about how the strike will be a learning experience, prompting this observation from Ghost:
    Osiris: Doing this again will build character. Every battle is a learning experience, whether you're a god-slayer or a neophyte.
    Ghost: You sound like Lord Shaxx.
    Osiris: No, Shaxx sounds like me.
    • Later;
    Osiris: (distracted) I'm contending with Vex in three parallel simulations. I'll compose a detailed apology at a later date.
    Sagira: (aside, to the Guardians) No he won't.
  • One of the new Exotics introduced in the expansion, the Prometheus Lens Trace Rifle, was shipped with a Game-Breaking Bug that made the weapon a complete Game-Breaker in PvP, causing it to melt players in seconds just by rapidly tagging them a few times. Bungie noticed and began working on a fix the would release the week after. You'd think that they's also have to cancel the Weekend Trials of the Nine because this bug would basically kill the spirit of the game, right? Nope. With the first weekend of the expansion's release, Xur arrived with said broken Exotic weapon up for sale, either by some twist of logic on Bungie's part, or by complete random chance. Either way, everyone would have their fun basically playing Laser Tag with this completely and utterly broken-ass monster of a gun... for the week.
  • Calus calls on the Guardians for another raid in the Leviathan, this time to kill Vex that hitched a ride on chunks of the planet while Nessus was being consumed. It's like he's basically calling the Guardians to basically help clean up the mess he made when the Leviathan was eating Nessus.
    • Made even funnier by the fact that by that point the guardians know he wasn't even on the ship, to begin with. They're just doing it for the loot.
  • During the Dawning live event, a new feature was added where snowballs spawn at various points in the worlds and social spaces. Not only can you see Guardians engaging each other in snowball fights, but you can also use them against enemies. It's hard to describe how funny it is to see the minions of the Darkness being covered in snow, or outright killed by snowballs.
    • The snowballs do a lot of damage for "just" snow. They do a lot of damage even if a rock were hidden in them. Their damage potential is comparable to some grenades. Guardian snowball fights are clearly take-no-prisoners, Shaxx-inspired deathmatches.
    • Not only against enemies, at the social spaces guardians could be seen lobbing snowballs at NPCs they are not fond of. No visible effect, but probably somewhat cathartic.
  • What's Zavala's Dawning gift? A Ghaul stress doll. Which he immediately begins using.
    • The Dawning gift for Failsafe makes specific note that she's been stuck on Nessus for five hundred years and would probably like to "go out on the town". You make her a pair of earrings. For an immobile AI. As opposed to getting her off the rock she's stranded on. (As a side note, she genuinely seems to like them. Despite not having ears.)
    • Ikora gets a joke book. She cracks a smile so faint and so fast that the player's not entirely sure they saw it.
    • Cayde gets a chicken-sized horn and cloak. Not only does he love it, he immediately hides it and then acts like you never saw him squee over it.
    • Your Guardian believes that Devrim needs an alternative drink to his usual cup of tea, and so makes a latte out of Vex radiolarian fluid.
    • For Asher Mir, you make a SINGLE arm-warmer. Amazingly, he's slightly grateful and doesn't rip your head off, literally or metaphorically.
    • Rahool gets a lump of coal painted to look like an engram. The text for the gift reads, "Giving gifts is part of the Dawning's traditions. Doing unto others as they've done to you is another.".
    • Hawthorne's gift is sedatives to calm down her hawk, almost certainly a reference to the jittery flickering of his animation on Hawthorne's interaction screen in the early days of the game.
  • Normally the subtitle under a Crucible game mode describes what you're supposed to do. The Dawning-exclusive game mode Mayhemnote , on the other hand: "For injury liability policy, refer to Crucible Waiver Article 6, Paragraph 18." Yes, Mayhem is so chaotic and destructive that despite the participants being immortal, the people running it are still worried about being sued!

DLC2: Warmind

  • On the days preceding the expansion's release, Bungie teased several of the revamped Exotic weapons by showcasing how much more powerful and awesome they got. Then we get to Sweet Business, which features two clips; the first one showcases its increased ammo capacity by singlehandedly mowing down a Fallen Walker, but then we get to the second clip, which features a Titan with Actium War Rig firing it nonstop as the scenery quickly goes from daylight to nighttime.
  • Ana Bray's introductory cutscene has her calling on a secure channel she's clearly not meant to be on, asking for backup. Your Ghost tries to tell her to change channels, only for her to comment that the player got "one of those uptight Ghosts" before continuing as though she'd not been interrupted. Look closely and you might even catch your Guardian smirking as if they quietly agree with Ana.
    Ghost (angered and a bit hurt): "Uptight...?"
  • Ana's reaction to discovering that Zavala was waaay onto her investigation... and is pissed.
    Ana: "Aw, shhhhhanks...
  • Once more Guardians face the risks of Death from Above... but this time it's not from Cabal drop pods. A Mars Public Event involves a Warsat dropping out of the sky and players having to defend it from the Hive... except that the Warsat lands hard enough to kill any Guardian directly beneath it, and send others flying back a considerable distance from the impact. One gets the impression that Rasputin finds the whole thing a bit amusing with how not-give-a-fuck he is about dropping Warsats on Guardian heads.
  • During the fight against Val Ca'uor, if a Guardian happens to be caught in the active teleporter without possessing the Superior Retainer buff (given randomly to 3 fireteam members), they will die on the way up. When this happens, Calus himself will bellow a bombastic laughter for a solid half minute, amused at the poor sap's spectacular failure.
    • Within the same fight, breaking Ca'uor's shield is good and all, but one must not forget to not stand anywhere near the floating Calus robot, least they get crushed by it as it comes crashing down after performing a slamdunk on Ca'uor's barrier.
  • Upon returning from your fight against Ca'uor in Prestige Mode, Benedict 99-40 will transmit his congratulations on behalf of Calus as well as the latter's admiration for your bravery, but then bluntly states that he thinks you're just in it for all the shiny things. He also admits that he's not one to judge since he basically lives in a closet.

Forsaken

  • The prologue's prison break up until Cayde's last stand is very light-hearted, as it features Cayde-6 doing all sorts of shenanigans while you and Petra try to maintain a professional attitude.
    • Upon arrival, Cayde immediately squees over Petra's knife and asks her to do her magic trick, which is making it hover with telekinesis. When Cayde asks her to repeat the trick, she curtly tells him she'll do it later. As everyones goes on business, Cayde drops down and heads are already flying.
      Cayde: Got you! [Gunfire sounds] Got you! [More gunfire] Got you!
    • Later in the mission, Cayde gets the drop on a Cabal legionary and stabs him, but the latter staggers towards the ledge and falls off, taking Cayde along with him. After a few seconds, Cayde comes back up by holding on to a stray Shank and tries to direct it towards the control room, with a few difficulties.
      Cayde: Go left! Left! Your other left!
    • Within the control room, Cayde thought simply pulling the lever would make everything work... except it doesn't, and only attracts the Hive that have jammed the systems with gunk. After that's done, Ghost reminds him to purge the buffer by pressing the red button... on a wall full of red buttons.
      Cayde: They're all red!
      Ghost: Then press all of them!!!
      [Cayde frantically presses as many red buttons as he can until the systems go green]
      Cayde: I can't believe that worked! I am amazing at this! [Pulls the lever again, which still doesn't work] Scratch that, it did NOT work.
      Cayde: Tech support, with extreme prejudice.
    • On the next segment, Cayde positively squees when he finds out the defense turrets have a manual mode, and he gladly helps you on your way throught the catwalk.
    • Cayde thought that the quickest way to the bottom of the Prison of Elders was to collapse a platform and then ride it down. He even gives Petra a happy wave as he passes her. What really sells it is the WTF look on Petra's face as she watches him ride the falling platform like a mechanical bull.
  • The Empty Tank Lost Sector inexplicably lays host to an impromptu nightclub for Fallen, complete with music, DJ, and even a bouncer (the door to the area won't unlock unless you kill the Wretch guarding it.) And since the Lost Sector is a Light level 480 area, you will be turned away your first time there.
  • While recovering Cayde's stashes for the Ace of Spades parts, you also find various messages for whoever might've killed him. Some are heartwarming or tear-jerking, and some are just hilarious.
    • The first one is for Eris Morn. He assumes that either she became a Hive death god, or she just got sick of him.
    • When he gets around to the Drifter, he claims he had the idea for Gambit first, when the Drifter "was still handsome."
    • His message for Petra Venj has him figure she might've gone after him on the order of the Sovs... But he decides it was probably because of collateral damage. "You've got a blast radius, P.V."
      • Of course, it’s also sobering since one could interpret this to be exactly what did happen
    • Hawthorne's message basically has him figure she took him out via a convoluted trap, which he remarks is quite Hunter-like. His final troll, however, is to bequeath her "the Colonel", who is, remember, Cayde's pet chicken, and advises her on said chicken's eating habits.
    • His next message is for in case one of his Hunters did the deed (he guesses Marcus Ren), and then proceeds to troll them by telling them that Klingon Promotion applies with the Hunter Vanguard gig.
    • He starts Zavala's by laughing at the thought of how awkward Zavala would look in that scenario and then, after some remarks, proceeds to troll him about whatever potential guilty conscience he might've gotten from the deed.
  • The lore reveals that Queen Mara Sov used Ahamkara wishes to, among other things, summon people to her chambers for booty calls. Including Lord Shaxx.
  • The lore tab for Savin once more lampshades how bizarre the Guardians' Player Character antics are to normal people:
    And Savin was most of all greedy — not in the grasping manner of the petty, but in an enormous, all-consuming way, for he desired materials and experiences that would temper him into a better Guardian, and he was always experimenting with his strange powers in foolish ways that left him briefly dead, seeking "a new Super ability" or "some way to make my grenades faster." He grew tired of performing trivial tasks about the Reef, complaining that the dangerous repairs he made were endless and boring, and that he wanted to move on to new worlds. He leapt into space, repeatedly and without reason, as if his death were no more traumatic than a hop off a curb.
    • Similarly, the lore for the sword Abide the Return.
      Kamala Rior climbs onto a railing at the top of the Tower in the Last City. "Guardians of the Tower!" she calls out.
      A few look her way. One begins dancing at her feet. Others fool around with a purple ball.
  • Within the "Last Wish", right before the encounter with Kalli, lies the Wall of Wishes that you can use to grant a wish by shooting the right combination of symbols. Most of the wishes are mundane (like teleporting you to a specific encounter in the raid), but then you have goofy cosmetic wishes like the confetti popping out of headshot kills (complete with cheering sound; an obvious throwback to Halo's Grunt Birthday Party skull), Paul McCartney's "Hope for the Future" playing out, and finally, Failsafe hijacking your body and replacing all of Riven's dialogue lines with her own zany experience throughout the raid.
    • At the very end of the raid, Failsafe states she enjoyed the experience, but wishes she had her own body next time, since yours is gross and sweaty.
    • There's also a wish that replaces the dialogue with the Drifter.
    The Drifter: I started today wondering what you're like out here, away from Gambit. And now I know: You are insane.
  • Didi, Marcus Ren's Ghost, tries writing a play about your role in the Taken War. Said play stars Didi as yourself, Marcus as Ghost, Enoch Bast and his Ghost as Oryx and Crota respectively, and another Ghost and a sweeperbot as the Deathsingers. With No Budget and Didi completely clueless about writing, period, it goes as well as you expect.
    Your Ghost: "Is this supposed to be me? Oh… oh no…"
    Tyra Karn's Ghost: "I've been thinking about it, and I really do think it would be worthwhile for you to learn the basics of narrative composition. Sit down, we're doing this now."
    Lord Shaxx: "Undeniably enthusiastic, I'll grant you that. But is the dialogue meant to come across so… sexually charged?"

Black Armory

  • The week before Black Armory launched, the Inverted Spire strike was temporarily unavailable due to a bug. The bug in question? The boss, Protheon, Modular Mind, spawned three times its normal size.
  • Eva Levante returned, and so did the Dawning. By defeating enemies you can farm ingredients based on the enemy faction or what weapon and ability was used. These can be used to bake cookies for characters. Incorrectly combining ingredients results in:
    Burnt Edge Transits, Holiday 'Gift': Deliver these highly sought-after treats to Master Rahool in the Tower Courtyard.
    Rahool's mouth tightens at your approach, but he is polite enough as he accepts your gift.

Joker's Wild

  • In the "Stolen Intelligence" Book, a note from Ikora Rey discusses how the Hunter Vanguard seat is still empty, with Ikora admitting that if they followed the rules of Cayde-6's Vanguard Dare (which was essentially Klingon Promotion) they would have to elect Savathun to the Vanguard. Ikora and Commander Zavala both agree that the best idea is to caucus with the Hunters and discuss who they feel should become the new Hunter Vanguard. There is just one problem: when the Hunter community realized this, all the serious potential candidates fled the Last City en masse specifically to avoid getting the job.
  • The fact that the quest to obtain D1's infamous Thorn hand cannon begins in the Salt Mines in the EDZ.
  • While it's still absolute Nightmare Fuel, there's something rather hilarious about the fact that the name of the hideous screaming death robot from the "Zero Hour" mission, TR3-VR, can be read as "Trevor".

Penumbra

Meta

  • Eric Osbourne's response to the recent supposed DLC leaks? To just be an absolute troll about the whole thing.
    Summoning Of The Nope.
    Forge of Nope 2: The Summoning Chronicles
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