- In general, when D.W. isn't being a Bratty Half-Pint or causing people to bang their heads against the wall, she is a walking CMoF most of the time. Case in point, every one of her lines from "Arthur the Wrecker," where she repeatedly worries about Jane getting mad at her and Arthur for accidentally breaking her computer. She can also be stealthily smart and a bit of a Little Miss Snarker. For instance, during "Arthur's Knee," she watches Arthur and Brain try to build a replica of an ancient Roman chariot. When Arthur gets hurt during a test drive, she comments, "Did the Romans need lots of bandages when they traveled?"
- Fern's title card, which simply shows her silently scribbling out a story on her desk, compared to the more "exciting" title cards of the other characters. Fits perfectly with her introverted personality.
- Francine and Catherine's Bubbe, played by Joan Rivers, is hilarious. Apparently, the voice director said "Here's your topic! Go!" and let Rivers go off in the booth. The result is comedic gold.
- Any time Mr. Ratburn interacts with computers.
- Also, the running gag of him appearing and asking, Oh, are you having cake?.
- Basically, most of the show. There's a very good reason it has a massive Periphery Demographic, with its numerous pop culture references, clever writing that doesn't talk down to the viewers, and some very savage insults that wouldn't be out of place on a Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network show.
- "Arthur's Eyes":
- When the kids all have their eyesight tested by the nurse, Binky races through the first four letters displayed on the eye chart, as if he was simply reciting what Prunella before him had just recited for the nurse.
- Arthur freaking out at the sight of a "giant worm"; turns out a caterpillar had crawled onto the lens of the eye doctor's periscope.
- Arthur trying out his new glasses. On the way back home, he points out his mother has grey hairs, and that his dad has big bags under his eyes. Although Jane is slightly perturbed, both parents know immediately that they did the right thing for Arthur.
- "Francine's Bad Hair Day":
- "It's not a good idea to drink six cans of soda and then have your picture taken." Accompanied by Buster letting out a monstrous belch as he gets his picture.
- Buster's photo next year has him saying to the cameraman, "Remember me? I'm the one who burped." When the photo is snapped, Buster has a hilariously proud smile on his face, while his eyes are closed.
- In the same episode, Arthur smiles for the camera, only to be blinded by the camera flash due to his glasses.
- We also see Prunella's hair frizzle due to static electricity, and Binky sneezing himself off the stool due to having worn a flower on his suit.
- "Arthur and the Real Mr. Ratburn":Buster: Arthur, we have to choose: face horrifying scary danger... or do our homework.
Arthur and Francine: HORRIFYING SCARY DANGER!
- The Imagine Spot of Ratburn eating a bowl of nails (without milk). Especially when he pulls a screw out from between his teeth and tosses it aside. Then he proceeds to eat the spoon. The gag shows up again in "Arthur's Substitute Teacher Trouble", when Mister and Miss Ratburn both have a bowl of nails for breakfast. He apparently still ate them with milk at the time while his sister declined the milk (guess Nigel went milk-less for the competition). Then when he again tries to toss the screw aside, Rodentia says "I'll take it, they're the best part." It looks like he will be allowed into the Salty Spitoon.
- Francine thinks that "boy heads" is a term grocers use to refer to rotten heads of lettuce.
- "Arthur's Spelling Trubble":
- The aardvark rap. What makes it funnier is Arthur's dance, and his dad joins in."A-A-R-D-V-A-R-K!"
- D.W.'s reaction to Arthur's dancing.D.W.: Oh, is that what you call it? I thought you had ants in your pants.
- The spelling bee sees the Brain take the first question, clearly overcome with stage fright. The first word he gets? Fear. The Epic Fail that befalls him is remarkable. The Genius Bonus is that "fere" is an actual word, but it's archaic and out of use. So Brain was either overcome by nerves or Too Clever by Half.Brain: "Fear". F-E-R-E. "Fear".
Mr. Haney: I'm sorry. That's incorrect. (Crowd groans)
Brain: Are you sure? What dictionary are you using??? (Leaves stage)'
- The aardvark rap. What makes it funnier is Arthur's dance, and his dad joins in.
- "Locked in the Library!": Francine looks for a book that can help her and Arthur. She finds How to Escape from a Library in the catalog, only to discover that it's been checked out.
- Earlier, Francine passes over How to Escape from Prison in the catalog.
- The moment at the start of "D.W.'s Imaginary Friend" when David accidentally throws a bowl of spaghetti at Arthur and it's about to land on him when all of a sudden it freezes in mid-air.
- "Arthur's Cousin Catastrophe":
- The episode is full of wonderful bits in-between the actual story (Arthur's trying to avoid his cousin Mo at a family reunion), but probably the best ones revolve around his Uncle Seannote who's an unsuccessful writer and somewhat of a snooty academician (and proto-hipster) to boot.Uncle Sean: My latest project is an original mystery. It's about a man haunted by his past, on the run from a dreaded enemy. He's hunted everywhere he goes. It seems like there's no escape!
Great-Grandma: Oh! You mean like The Fugitive? Or Les Misérables? Or just like The 39 Step-
Grandma Thora: Mother!
Uncle Sean: (stammering) Well, uh, yes, but completely different!
- What makes it even better is that as Uncle Sean is describing this book, we catch Arthur still on the run from Cousin Mo in the background. He's literally describing the episode's plotnote !
- And later, the same uncle is playing charades, and his turn lasts half an hour, and all anyone can guess is that it has to do with bridges. He finally gives up:David: The Bridge over the River Kwai!
Loretta: The Bridges of Madison County?
Jane: A Bridge Too Far!
D.W.: [after Sean falls over] "London Bridge Is Falling Down"?
Uncle Sean: Honestly! On The Bridges of Medieval Paris. A record of early 14th-century life by Virginia Wylie Eggbert!note
Aunt Bonnie:note We said, "Pick a popular book."
Uncle Sean: Well, all my friends have read it!
- One of Arthur's memories is of Mo dressing him as a baby.
- The episode is full of wonderful bits in-between the actual story (Arthur's trying to avoid his cousin Mo at a family reunion), but probably the best ones revolve around his Uncle Seannote who's an unsuccessful writer and somewhat of a snooty academician (and proto-hipster) to boot.
- In "Francine Frensky, Superstar":
- At the beginning of the episode, Arthur explains that every time that his class auditions for a school play, Francine gets the toughest role. In one play, Buster played as George Washington and Francine played as a cherry tree and Buster knocked her into the air, so she landed on her face. Another time is when she played as Isaac Newton and discovered gravity, but since Arthur was assigned to drop the apple on her, he ended up losing his balance, causing him to drop all the apples, the bucket and himself on to Francine. And then when she played as a cymbal, Brain whacks the mallet on the cymbal, which is on her head, causing her head to rattle.
- Francine gets the lead in the school play about Thomas Edison and quickly lets her "stardom" go to her head. After Arthur fails to talk some sense into her, the kids retaliate by sabotaging the dress rehearsal, which is spectated by the kindergartners. The performance includes Arthur the phonograph reciting automated telephone messages, Buster the light bulb spraying Francine with water, an interesting rendition of The Great Train Robbery which has the train doing the robbing, and ends with everyone kicking their legs in a chorus line as Francine gets chased by the closing curtain, all with the kindergarten audience in hysterics.
- Prunella and Muffy see Francince studying light bulbs in a hardware store. Muffy says it looks boring and invites Francine to the mall for some fun. Francine takes great offense, saying, "My inventions are not boring. Without lights, you'd have to shop in the dark! Oh, sorry; I guess you already do."
- Francine goes to research Thomas Edison in the library and asks for the "Thomas Edison section," only to be told that there is no one section solely dedicated to Thomas Edison.Francine What does a man have to do to be considered important in this crummy library?!
- When Arthur says, "Please, please, please!" when asking his father if he can let Pal sleep in the house in "Arthur's New Puppy", D.W. says, "You're better trained than Pal. You've learned how to beg."
- This exchange in "Arthur's Baby," when Arthur and D.W. see Kate for the first time at the hospital.D.W.: She has your nose, Arthur!
(Kate starts crying)
Arthur: And your mouth...
- Arthur's imagine spot when Binky warns him how babies cry so loudly, in which Kate (then unnamed) is crying so loud at the dinner table her bowl is melting and even drowns out a fire engine's siren outside!
- "D.W.'s Baby":
- When D.W. is trying to get Kate in trouble, because of jealousy.David: GAH! How did my new shoes get in the dishwasher!?
D.W.: Kate did it! I SAW HER.
David: (beat) D.W., go to your room and think about what you just told me.
- Earlier in the episode, before Kate is born, D.W. has put diapers on all the toys to practice diapering. Arthur shouts "GET THAT DIAPER OFF MY BIONIC BUNNY TOY RIGHT NOW!"
- Another one of D.W.'s jealous attempts at framing Kate is blaming her for a building being demolished.D.W.: "She did it!"Mrs. Read: "A demolition team did it."
- When D.W. is trying to get Kate in trouble, because of jealousy.
- "Arthur's Birthday":
- At the end, no one can break the pinata. Mr. Read decides to give it a try, but also fails. Determined, he hits it with a hammer, but still nothing. Finally, when everybody else is enjoying the party inside, Mr. Read has taken the piñata outside, while revving up a chainsaw.
- After he hits the piñata with the hammer, all of the kids start running around and blowing noisemakers.
- The increasingly crazy rewrites in "Arthur Writes A Story." It starts out as a story about how Arthur got Pal, but then it turns into a story about an elephant giving birth, has the setting changed to a zero-gravity house, gets a lot of Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness, has romance added to it, is turned into a song, and finally gets a superhero elephant added to it.
- "Arthur's Family Vacation:
- Arthur trying to wheedle his way out of a family vacation.Arthur: If I'm old enough to take out the trash, aren't I old enough to choose my own vacation?
Jane: You didn't really think that was gonna work, did you?
Arthur: It was worth a try, wasn't it?
Jane: That's an idea, though...
(Arthur gasps and looks up hopefully)
Jane: You could take out the trash!
- As they drive to their vacation spot, D.W.'s fully-inflated pool toy Sharky is strapped to the top of their station wagon with their luggage. When D.W. wants Sharky to ride in the car with them, she suggests that Arthur be strapped to the roof instead, which actually excites Arthur...D.W.: Make Arthur ride on the roof.
Arthur: (excited) Can I?
- Arthur trying to wheedle his way out of a family vacation.
- "Arthur, World's Greatest Gleeper"
- Arthur tries to present his situation as hypothetical, but Mrs MacGrady has no idea what he's on about.
- Mr Haney flailing a lollipop around for emphasis and forgetting what "gleeping" is called.
- Muffy demanding that Mr. Haney arrest Arthur, take away his TV privileges, and shave his head.
- Rattles insulting Arthur for lying.Rattles: You big liar! You lie! You're just a lie-y liar! You big lying lie-face!
- And Binky failing to specify why lying is bad.Binky: When you lie, you're... well, you're doing a very bad thing.
- At the beginning, the rumor gets passed around like the Telephone game, from "Arthur gleeps stuff" to "Arthur gleeps rings" to "Arthur keeps beans" to "Arthur's sweet on Francine" to "Arthur eats fancy spam" to "Arthur gleeps spam", then back to "Arthur gleeps stuff".
- "Arthur's Chicken Pox":
- D.W. is sitting on the couch playing with a toy telephone when an advertisement comes on the TV saying, "pick up the phone. That one right there on the couch. Order this Genuine Imitation Leather Cowbell."
- The part after Grandma Thora tells Arthur's birth story and D.W.'s already extremely jealous of the attention Arthur's getting for his chicken pox.D.W.: What about when I was born?
Grandma Thora: I think I was in Florida then.
- In "Sick as a Dog," Pal steals D.W.'s hot dog. She was holding it below her waist, and her voice actor is a boy.D.W.: The dog's got my wiener! The dog's got my wiener!
- "Arthur's Almost Boring Day":
- A bored Arthur and D.W. are stuck inside the house and can't go to the park because of rain, and so they are are told to draw pictures as an activity:D.W.: What did you draw?
Arthur: (holds up drawing of a dog) A dog, and he's bored. What did you draw?
D.W.: (holds up drawing of a straight line) A stick.
Arthur: (incredulous) A stick?!
D.W.: (sudden outburst) A stick from the park where you PROMISED TO TAKE ME TODAY!!!
- It's obstructed by other sounds, but Arthur replies with "I didn't promise you anything!"
- Arthur trying to read D.W. a story, only for her to predict "they all lived happily ever after". The scene cuts to Arthur chasing D.W. with the same book, pretending the book will eat her nose or something.
- "It's raining! We'll die out here!" All the while, Arthur makes "blah, blah, blah" faces at how melodramatic D.W. is being.
- Also, this:Grandma Thora: I was just starting on it [cleaning the attic] when your dad begged me to - um, when I decided to invite you over!
- Before they walk into Grandma Thora's house, it's still raining outside like it has been the whole day. She makes the comment that it's only good enough weather for ducks...only to cut to a family of anthropomorphic ducks riding bikes in the weather, remarking it as a lovely day.
- Arthur and D.W. watching TV.Commercial: Sweet and fishy, good for kids, Golden Delicious Honey Squid!
Arthur and D.W.: [in unison] Bleah!
- A bored Arthur and D.W. are stuck inside the house and can't go to the park because of rain, and so they are are told to draw pictures as an activity:
- In "My Dad, the Garbage Man," Mr. Crosswire tells the students to "put [their] heads between [their] knees and take a deep breath". Buster tries to literally do this while still walking, but says it can't be done.
- In "The Scare-Your-Pants-Off Club," the kids circulate a petition to get their favorite Goosebumps-esque books, which a group of parents had removed, back in the library. Brain's way of soliciting signatures involves giving a long lecture to innocent bystanders. This prompts one to say, "We'll sign if you promise to stop explaining why we should!"
- When D.W. is investigating who took her snowball in "D.W.'s Snow Mystery," she is told to recall what happened just before it got stolen. She remembers Grandma Thora came over, and proceeds to tell the story as if Grandma Thora favored her over Arthur. Arthur obviously contests this, and it sounds almost convincing...and then he adds in a bit where Grandma Thora says about D.W., "Get me an aspirin, she's giving me a splitting headache!" Grandma Thora recalls both of them as angelic children, but the best account has to be Mrs. Read's — she imagines them making crazy noises and horseplaying up to the front door. It has to be seen.
- In "Sue Ellen Moves In" Binky unable to figure out how to dial anyone while everyone else is talking about Sue-Ellen over joint phone lines. After getting frustrated he calls this number:Binky: Hey, did you hear about the new girl?Mr. Ratburn: *annoyed* Who is this?Binky: Oops, wrong number. *hangs up*
- The kids trying to teach D.W. how to ride a bike in "D.W. Rides Again."Brain: [pulls out a collapsible pointer] Let's start with the basics. This is a bicycle. Its propulsion system consists of an interlocking-
D.W.: I just wanna ride it, not build one.
Francine: Excuse me, Professor Complicated! D.W., everyone knows the most important thing about riding is-
Francine: Going really, really fast!
Arthur: [beat] Let's start with something we all agree on: wearing a helmet. [puts a helmet on D.W.'s head]
Brain: You're putting it on backwards.
Francine: That is not backwards!
Arthur: Francine, it's covering her eyes.
Francine: It's not covering her eyes, it's protecting them!
[the kids argue with each other until D.W. sneaks out from their huddle and whistles]
Buster: [watch beeps] Oops. Gotta get home for lunch.
Brain: Me too.
Francine: Me three.
Arthur: I'll teach you more after lunch, D.W.
D.W.: [on her bike] Arthur! How do I get down?!
- A bit of dialog between Francine's dad, the kids' team coach, and Binky in "Arthur Makes the Team":Mr. Frensky: Remember, if you win the game, I take you all out for ice cream! And if you lose-
Binky: You drive us to the outskirts of town and leave us there?
Mr. Frensky: Nope! I still take you out for ice cream.
Binky: Aw, man. I'm never gonna see the outskirts of town.
- In "D.W. Gets Lost", the public address system is a fountain of hilarity:"Welcome to All-in-One Mart! The store big enough to swallow your town!"
"All-in-One Mart values all our customers. But if you break something, you buy it. Tough luck!"
"Today's special in our sportswear department: pre-worn sneakers for lazy people."
"If you've lost your child, come to our lost child department, located behind the toy department. And on the way, why not buy a new toy for that poor, frightened child that you lost?!"
"Attention all shoppers: free samples all day at our water fountain."
"Big sale in our book department: books without vowels now half price!"
"Who needs expensive air conditioning when army surplus jet turbines are on sale in our wind department?"
"Who doesn't like the satisfying flavor of fresh, warm carbonated milk? The late night drink that lulls you to sleep and burps you, too!"
"Don't forget today's sale on chocolate-covered cabbage. It's the dessert that makes you go 'Blecch!'"
"Right now in our free sample department, everything is half price."
- Early in the episode, Arthur shoves an entire slice of cake in his mouth in one bite. When his mom discovers this, he comes up with the greatest excuse in history.Jane: Why didn't you just have an apple?
Arthur: I was too weak from hunger to chew. I needed something soft.
- Also after that, every single time Arthur appears in D.W.'s imagination spots, he is stuffing his face with cake.
- Early in the episode, Arthur shoves an entire slice of cake in his mouth in one bite. When his mom discovers this, he comes up with the greatest excuse in history.
- "I'm a Poet":
- Arthur's Painful Rhyme in one of his first poems.Listen, my children
As I tell you
About a duck and a chicken
On a bus to Oklahomoo
- There's also Binky's Poem:Binky: People think I can't write a poem.
But they are so wrong! I can write a poem!
I wrote this one, I wrote this poem...
And I gave it the title BINKY'S POEM! So shut up!
Muffy: That's not a poem! He rhymed "poem" with "poem" four times!
- Fern is noted to not talk a lot, but she ends up screaming so loud that she manages to set off a car alarm.
- Buster's poem lists a bunch of gross stuff ("when your friend's baby sister starts to spew, finding a human bone in your jello, blowing nose slime green and yellow") and finishes with "people who eat creamed corn with their mouths open so you can see it."
- Buster criticizes Muffy's poem for being a "list." She emphasizes the one rhyme in her poem.
- Francine's reaction to being hit on the head with a hockey puck in her poem.
- Sue Ellen imagines an earthquake being caused by Binky dancing.
- Arthur's Painful Rhyme in one of his first poems.
- "Arthur's Substitute Teacher Trouble":
- Near the beginning of the episode, Mr. Haney delivers the news to Arthur's class that Mr. Ratburn has laryngitis and will be out for the rest of the week. As soon as he leaves the room, the entire class begins cheering; Mr Haney opens the door again and glares at them, and they immediately fall silent and try (unsuccessfully) to look innocent and absorbed in work.
- At the end of the episode, when Mr. Ratburn returns early, the students, having been driven almost insane by the mind-numbingly easy work given to them by Mr. Ratburn's sister, begin cheering, complete with flag-waving and hat-tossing (said hats including a top hat, a straw hat, and a graduation cap).
- The Frensky family's scramble to throw out the calendar when midnight arrives on New Year's Eve in "Arthur's New Year's Eve."
- "Arthur's First Sleepover":
- We get a little montage of the attendees' dreams the night before the sleepover. Brain and Buster both have alien-related nightmares. Arthur's, on the other hand...D.W.: Arthur, Mom and Dad say you have to let me come to your sleepover.Arthur: (Waking up) AAAAAH!Jane: I knew he'd have nightmares with all this talk of spaceships.
- Brain and Buster's dreams. Neither of them wake up screaming because their dreams aren't really that scary to them. In Brain's, Brain gives the aliens tips on how to repair their spaceship after it breaks down. Buster's involves alien forms of Arthur and Buster with swirly green eyes and speaking in weird alien language, but when he wakes up, he just says, "That was scary" and falls right back asleep.
- Buster's dream also has him doing a Wild Take (complete with a Jaw Drop and Eye Pop) completely out of odds with the show's usual style.
- We get a little montage of the attendees' dreams the night before the sleepover. Brain and Buster both have alien-related nightmares. Arthur's, on the other hand...
- D.W.'s flashback in "The Short, Quick Summer", where she claims Kate said her first word. When she does, D.W. calls up her parents and both are ecstatic to hear the news; Unbeknownst to D.W. it's merely random baby babble, specifically "bluge agua"; David and Jane's deflated expressions are simply priceless, and they leave without saying another word.
- "Arthur Meets Mister Rogers"
- When Buster, who is a huge fan of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood, gets to meet Mister Rogers.Buster: Mister Rogers? Is that really you?Mister Rogers: It certainly is. What's your name?Buster: I forget!
- Later when Arthur swears Buster to secrecy.Buster: I never tell secrets!...Hey, there's Prunella and the Brain!Arthur: Where are you going?Buster: I was just going to tell everyone about...Oh. Hey, you're right about me. I cannot keep a secret!
- Brain's reaction to seeing Arthur wearing a fake beard.Brain: (as if there is nothing weird about it at all) Arthur looks quite distinguished with facial hair.
- Buster's conversation at dinner.Buster: Mister Rogers, does King Friday ever get out of the trolley to see you?D.W.: Oh, brother.Mister Rogers: King Friday usually stays in Make-Believe, Buster. Except when he flies in the purple jet.
- Rubella believes Arthur is under a hypnotic spell by zombies trying to take over Elwood City. She believes Buster is the first victim.Rubella: Just look at that drooling, idiotic look on his face! They've done something with his brain!Prunella: I dunno, Rubella. Buster kinda always looks like that.
- Also, Brain believes this theory is utterly ridiculous. What changes his mind? Arthur telling him Buster is there to help with homework when he's really just saying that to make Brain go away.
- When Arthur, D.W. and Mister Rogers are going for a walk, Arthur puts fake beards on himself and D.W. so his friends won't recognise them and laugh at him, Buster sees them and thinks that the two older Read siblings are Dopey and Sneezy from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, because Arthur wasn't saying anything and was acting awkward and D.W.'s beard was making her sneeze.
- When Mister Rogers is singing "Please Don't Think it's Funny" to help D.W. go to sleep, the camera also pans over to reveal Buster is also in the room...with the absolute most hilariously dreamy look on his face. Arthur is none too pleased to see Buster is still at his house and forces him out of the room...Buster: Aww! He was just getting to the good part!
- When Arthur says that the song "puts [him] to sleep" as a way of calling it boring, Buster points out that it's supposed to— it's a lullaby.
- Buster reenacting the "dance" Mr. Rogers learned on his show. A very funny bit of animation.
- When Arthur pulls Mr. Rogers into a street full of trash cans, lying that he wants to show him something, D.W. says, "Garbage!? You wanted to show Mr. Rogers people's garbage!?"
- When Buster, who is a huge fan of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood, gets to meet Mister Rogers.
- While it sets off the eventual tearjerker plot, Francine's impression of Mr. Ratburn and using a sandwich as one of his puppets is hilarious."If you don't laugh, I'll give you extra homework!"
- Ms. Sweetwater follows Ms. Tingley throughout the school, playing her guitar and singing to cheer her up. Ms. Tingley's predicament is made worse by Mr. Haney wanting her to participate in a sawing-a-woman-in-half magic trick.Ms. Sweetwater: Why not smile? Why not smile? Do you think you're going to break your face? Why not smile?
- The "cows are female" incident.Brain: Cows are female. Bulls are male. So a cow wouldn't be named Frank, she'd be named Fran...(awkward chuckle)
- The "The Giant Slime Who Came to School" comic, especially when Buster eats said giant slime mistaking it for lime.
- When Mrs. MacGrady says, "you will be going on a trip" while talking about fortune telling, Mrs. Tingley leaves because of Ms. Sweetwater and Mrs. MacGrady says, "I didn't mean right now!"
- This funny misunderstanding:Buster: Your comic was so good, I drew one too. Mine's called "The Big Clumsy Moose with Big Feet Named Franny".Fern: Her feet are named Franny?
- While it sets off the eventual tearjerker plot, Francine's impression of Mr. Ratburn and using a sandwich as one of his puppets is hilarious.
- "D.W., the Picky Eater":
- This rather infamous scene:D.W.: (picking up undesirables from her salad) Cucumbers, yucky. Mushrooms, yucky. Onions, yucky AND smelly. Hey....this isn't lettuce! What kind of a salad IS this?!?!
Arthur: (looking at the audience) .....uh-oh, she's gonna pop!
D.W.: This is spinach!
Waiter: IIIIIIiiis something the matter?
D.W.: This is SPINACH.....and I! HATE!!! SPINACH!!!!!! (she repeatedly bangs her fists on the table and then her fork pushes down on her plate and sends the bowl on it in the air, landing on the waiter's head)
Waiter: That's it... I quit!
Jane: Dora! Winifred! Read!
- And this conversation from the beginning of the episode.D.W.: Mom, I hope you got me a red lollipop, cause I only like the red ones!
Arthur: Orange and purple are good, too.
D.W.: But red tastes better!
Jane: Help me put away the groceries. Then you can have a red lollipop. (hands D.W. a whole fish)
D.W.: Errrgh! GROSS! It's looking at me! You're not gonna feed us a dead fish, are you?!
Jane: You've eaten fish before, haven't you?
D.W.: Well, it's never looked at me before! (turns away from fish) Ugh!
Arthur: (in a mocking, singsong voice) D.W.'s scared of a fishy!
D.W.: I am not scared! It smells funny and I hate food that smells funny! (Jane hands her olives) Are these green eyeballs?
Arthur: No, they're olives. And they're not looking at you.
D.W.: (looking in the shopping bag) Cucumbers, yucky, tomatoes, yucky, mmm, peanut butter and jelly! Yummy!
Arthur: My sister D.W. is what you might call a picky eater.
- This rather infamous scene:
- "Buster and the Daredevils":
- When Arthur and Buster try to talk Slink and Toby into showing them some skate tricks and Buster uses really bad Totally Radical speak like "Home-fry" and "fresh dudes"
- Slink dares Buster during a baseball game, what's his dare?Buster: psst Francine, I need advice!
Francine: What does he need advice for? All he has to do is run home as fast as he can.
[Francine then walks over to Buster who then plants a big kiss on Francine much to the gang's shock.]
Brain: Where's he going now?
Arthur: He's running home as fast he can.
Francine: Buster Baxter, I'm gonna pulverize you!
- The other dares are also pretty funny, the first involves Buster singing "Mary Had a Little Lamb" horrifically off-key in public, funny enough on its own, but then Arthur's mom and D.W. both happen to be walking down the street, Arthur and his mother are both shocked by Buster's singing, D.W. comments that something weird is definitely going on.
- Then Buster goes up to Binky in the Sugar Bowl and says that "his mother eats gym shorts" causing Binky to hit Buster in the face with a sundae.
- "Play it Again, D.W.":
- The whole "Crazy Bus" song!
- And there's the lyric about "A flat tire is no problem because it's only flat on the bottom."
- This show's treatment of The Odyssey uses it for the Sirens' song.
- Arthur yelling, "THERE'S NO SUCH WORD AS BUS-A-LOOEY! to D.W.
- When the disc goes missing, D.W. suspects Arthur of stealing it. As Jane and David are at their high school reunion, leaving Catherine (Francine's older sister) in charge, D.W. starts spying on Arthur. D.W.'s way of stalking Arthur is genuinely funny (such as using her toy telescope to spy on him from the hallway). Eventually, Arthur loses patience.Arthur: D.W.'s haunting me.D.W.: (popping up from behind Catherine's chair) MAYBE IT'S YOUR GUILTY CONSCIENCE THAT'S BOTHERING YOU!!!
- Then as Catherine tries to tranquilize the argument by taping down in the den and forcing the kids to opposite sides of the room. Unfortunately, as soon as Catherine leaves the room, her method doesn't do any good as the two then start doing a tug-a-war over Arthur's jacket.Arthur: Gimme my jacket!
D.W.: It was on my side! Why else would you want it so badly unless my Crazy Bus is in it?!
Arthur: For the last time, I DON'T HAVE YOUR STUPID BUS!
D.W.: It's not "Stupid Bus," it's Crazy Bus! Stupid Bus is a lame puppet show!
- When Jane phones D.W. that they accidentally took the disc, the other guests can be seen dancing to Crazy Bus!
- The whole "Crazy Bus" song!
- "Arthur Makes a Movie":
- The gang tries to make a James Bond-ish type movie, they shoot a scene in the library where The Brain ("IQ") is pretending to put in a code to stop a missile. He's typing at a library computer with Arthur ("James Hound").Arthur: You've got to hurry up, IQ! The missile will hit in ten seconds!
[Camera pans to librarian at desk]
Librarian: I don't know what's wrong, Ms. Turner. The computer won't let me check out these books!
Ms. Turner: I guess we'll just have to do it by hand.
[Back to the kids]
The Brain: According to my calculations, the last digit should be a 1 or a 2. But which is it? 1 or a 2?
[He presses a button, and then all the lights go out.]
Arthur: ...I guess it was a 2.
- And later in the episode, it shows Brain trying to fix the lights, with Buster being very unhelpful.Brain (from inside a closet): There! Did that make the lights go on?
Buster: I don't know, it's too dark to tell! Get it? (bursts out laughing) Too DARK to tell? (notices Brain giving him a Death Glare) No, still off, keep trying!
- The gang tries to make a James Bond-ish type movie, they shoot a scene in the library where The Brain ("IQ") is pretending to put in a code to stop a missile. He's typing at a library computer with Arthur ("James Hound").
- "D.W. Goes to Washington":
- D.W. gets lost and when speaking to the secret service agents, Jane and David for some reason are unable to come up with "Dora Winifred" and just tell them "D.W."Secret Service Agent: That's it? Initials? Didn't you give the kid a whole name?
- Also, Arthur's Imagine Spot of D.W. convincing then-President Clinton to pass "The D.W. Law", which makes it illegal for citizens to NOT own a pony.
- Oh, and the national anthem has been changed to "Crazy Bus."
- Arthur's prediction that D.W. "probably broke the Constitution or something!"
- And this from D.W. while she's lost in the White House:"This government is way too complicated. No wonder Daddy's always complaining about it!"
- D.W. gets lost and when speaking to the secret service agents, Jane and David for some reason are unable to come up with "Dora Winifred" and just tell them "D.W."
- "D.W.'s Deer Friend":
- Arthur imagining that D.W.'s vacation choice would be to Ponyland in "D.W.'s Deer Friend". He is sitting in a chair surrounded by kids and ponies dancing in a circle singing the Ponyland theme over and over.Arthur: MY BRAAAIN IS MEEELTING!!
- D.W.'s version of "One Hundred Bottles of Beer on the Wall": "One hundred bunches of bears in the woods, one hundred bunches of bears. If one bunch of bears comes to live in our house, then ninety-nine bunches of bears in the woods".
- D.W. mistaking a bird for a penguin and when Arthur says that penguins don't live in the woods, she concludes that it's a lost one. Then she mistakes an airplane for a bald eagle.
- A bit sad, but there's a funny side: when Arthur and Mr. Read catch a fish for dinner, D.W. feels sorry for the fish (which she names Bucky) and buries him with a grave. Mr. Read feels awkward about what to say, Kate is asleep, Mrs. Read doesn't say anything, and Arthur is just concerned about food. Later, D.W., who had been complaining about not seeing anything "wild", asks, "What if I don't see any wild thing that Arthur and Dad haven't already killed?!".
- D.W. imagining living with Walter the deer, including riding him, doing ballet with him (and he's wearing a tutu), sharing cake with him, meeting Rudolph, bathing with Walter, and him sleeping in her room.
- Arthur imagining that D.W.'s vacation choice would be to Ponyland in "D.W.'s Deer Friend". He is sitting in a chair surrounded by kids and ponies dancing in a circle singing the Ponyland theme over and over.
- "Arthur's Knee":D.W.: Then I can give Arthur his Tetris [Tetanus] booster!
- In "Love Notes for Muffy," Brain is sitting under a tree, trying to create some sort of plan that will get Muffy into trouble, after he and Francine accuse her of bribing the judges so she could win a science contest. Arthur goes over to confront him about his changing behavior.Brain: Have you ever realized how frighteningly easy it is to manipulate someone into doing whatever you want?
Arthur: Brain, you're acting kinda weird today...
Brain: (with a crazy look on his face) AM I? MUAHAHAHA!
- What cinches it is the fact that Arthur isn't at all frightened or uneasy from this, but rather, he's pissed, giving a Death Glare to Brain.
- "D.W.'s Name Game":
- A lot of what goes on, from D.W. imagining Arthur eating a cake whole to them pulling faces at each other while complaining about each other to Catherine, to the various terms they get to describe each other from the thesaurus. And then there's D.W. imagining Arthur as her "obedient hypno-brother":Arthur: I enjoy doing your chores. I enjoy doing your chores.
D.W.: Of course you do.
- And her words for goofy are "silly", "foolish", and "Arthur".
- The mocking "Dora Winifred" chant.
- "Thesaurus" turning into "the Saurus" (a dinosaur).
- Arthur calls D.W. "turtle breath." D.W. replies that she doesn't have turtle breath and then tells Catherine "smell!" and breathes in her face. Catherine winces as she thinks maybe D.W. does have turtle breath.
- A lot of what goes on, from D.W. imagining Arthur eating a cake whole to them pulling faces at each other while complaining about each other to Catherine, to the various terms they get to describe each other from the thesaurus. And then there's D.W. imagining Arthur as her "obedient hypno-brother":
- The ending of "Buster Baxter, Cat Saver", in which, after Buster saves Arthur and Francine from a "runaway piano", he imagines a movie where he fights pianos in space and braves dangerous, piano-infested waters.Announcer: Buster Baxter: Piano Tamer! Based on a True Story!
Arthur: HOLD IT! This is NOT gonna be a movie!
Buster: It could be.
Arthur: No. Way.
Buster: Coming to a theater near you!
Arthur: It is NOT!
Buster: How about a CD?
Buster: A video game?
Buster: Comic book?
(all while the "Here We Go Again!" music cue plays)
- "Buster Hits the Books":
- Binky catches a glimpse of what Buster did his book report on.
- When Buster considers what to do about his book report, his first idea is to have his pilot father fly him out of the country. He decides against it because his mom is making his favorite food for dinner.
- I Don't Want To Go To Afkaphazoom, the Dr. Seuss-esque book that Arthur believes Buster can finish due to its low reading level. Everything perfectly matches Seuss' style, from the art to the nonsense terms. The music is also hilarious. It's especially funny when Buster stops reading and the characters complain about no one reading.Piece of the Moon: Why did we stop?
Barringter: Well, nothing happens if no one's reading the book.
Car: And it was just getting exciting!
Kid: Well, I didn't want to go anyway.
- Buster reads a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory parody titled Sam and the Sandwich Factory. Which he abandons because it was making him hungry.Oompa Loompa expies: When you break off all your teeth, it becomes so hard to eat!
- While "Lost!" was a bit of a Tear Jerker, it had its share of funny moments.
- At the beginning, when Mrs Read is on the phone and asks, "Lost?!", D.W. copies her, and then Pal barks and the word "LOST?" is seen above him.
- When Arthur tries to call Grandma Thora, he imagines her driving to him and on her way, jumping over a hole in a bridge in her car circus-style while some workers look up in confusion.
- After Dave and Jane leave to find Arthur, D.W. delivers this gem:'D.W.: If you were Lassie, you could go find him!
- "D.W.'s Very Bad Mood":
- Arthur tells his friends at school that the previous night, D.W. slammed so many doors he thought the family would get arrested. Cut to an Imagine Spot of a show titled Tantrum 911, where a SWAT team is called in to deal with D.W.; she begins throwing a tantrum as they try to read her rights. When the spot is over, Binky says in awe, "Cool! When is that gonna be on?"
- "Arthur is a dodo brain!"
- Arthur complaining about D.W. keeping him up all night.Arthur: What if she never lets me go to sleep again?
Brain: Actually, that would be a very fascinating study. We could chart your deterioration, and then, when your brain starts to shut down...
- During the teaser for "Sue Ellen's Lost Diary," Arthur tries to see what others are thinking. He peers inside D.W.'s head while she's sleeping and finds her dreaming about shrinking him to the size of a paper doll. She threatens, "I'll put you in one of my dolly's dresses, and then we'll play HOUSE! as Arthur squeaks, "Help me, help me!"
- "How the Cookie Crumbles":
- Buster imagining Muffy being "more famous than a doughnut."
- Binky's obsession with bananas.Binky: Banana was my idea! Without me, there's no banana!
- "Sue Ellen's Little Sister":
- Sue Ellen gets SO bored by Arthur looking at his trading cards that she lets out the funniest snore ever.
- The other interactions with other siblings are also amusing. One of her hair scrunchies gets cut up by Prunella's older sister and the origami crane she gave to D.W. getting wrecked by her.
- Arthur correcting D.W. when she suggests that Sue Ellen tries to see if there is a "Lonely Child" race after theirs.Arthur: It's ONLY children, D.W. A LONELY child is what you're going to be when I sell you.
- In "D.W. Blows the Whistle", D.W. becomes uber-conscious about safety and chastises Mr. Read for cooking over a hot stove, Mrs. Read for reading a magazine without gloves on (because apparently she could get a "serious paper cut"), Pal for not using the handrail (even though he has no hands) and Arthur for taking a bath without a flotation device.
- "Buster's Back":
- Arthur talking to Buster about famous landmarks. He says "The Great Wall of China [is] located in, umm... China!"
- In the same episode, we have this Imagine Spot.(Arthur opens his door to see Buster dressed as a Japanese martial artist.)
Buster: Osamu Tezuka-san wa manga no kamisama desu.note
(Arthur slams the door)
- "The Ballad of Buster Baxter":
- Art Garfunkel has a guest appearance, drawn as a moose. He follows Buster and his friends around, singing songs and strumming his guitar, acting somewhat like a Greek chorus. No one seems to notice him (he even appears at the Kresblain Fan Club meeting, nonchalantly eating a cookie), until one scene in particular, which shows Buster watching TV in his chair, feeling dejected because he believes his friends have changed while he was away. Then Art Garfunkel pops in...Art: (singing cheerfully) "He's a sad, sad bunny! A sad, sad bunny! TV isn't funny when you're a sad, sad, bunny!" Yee-haw!
Buster: Hey! That's not very sad music!
Art: (singing slowly and sadly) "He's a sad, sad bunny... a sad, sad, sad, sad bunny..."
- And the ending, when it turns out that not even Buster knows why he's here:Arthur: Moooommmm! There's a singing moose in front of the house!
- "Life can be tough as nails when your friends think you're a guy who likes to eat snails!"
- Art Garfunkel has a guest appearance, drawn as a moose. He follows Buster and his friends around, singing songs and strumming his guitar, acting somewhat like a Greek chorus. No one seems to notice him (he even appears at the Kresblain Fan Club meeting, nonchalantly eating a cookie), until one scene in particular, which shows Buster watching TV in his chair, feeling dejected because he believes his friends have changed while he was away. Then Art Garfunkel pops in...
- D.W.'s imagine spot in "D.W. Tricks the Tooth Fairy," where the Tooth Fairy puts on a concert featuring Arthur, Buster, Francine and the Brain with their teeth dancing and falling out to the tune of Bach's Brandenburg Concerto No.3.
- "Binky Rules":
- Anytime Buster used that detective lingo:
- "Hey gopher ball, what do yo know about this shenanigag on Binky?"
- "Brain, you know your goulash, slobber a bid-full or Binky's gonna clutch the gummy!"
- "Hardly, foo-foo. I do my best noodle-work at high altitudes." What was even more amusing was Fern's reaction to it. At one point, she asked him to speak English. Later, as they were sitting across from each other at a table at the Sugar Bowl, she reached over and snatched his detective hat off his head.
- The parody of the Mystery! opening at the beginning is hilarious, especially because it uses the real theme.
- Buster's theory about who the true culprit is:Buster: Binky... has an evil twin! He's trying to get you in trouble so he can take over your identity!
- And the fact that Binky himself buys into this hook, line, and sinker. Even after Mr. Morris says Fern's idea of a rival school doing it as the likely explanation, Binky expresses relief that the evil twin will get in trouble now instead. And when he gets in trouble once more:Binky: That darn evil twin...
- Anytime Buster used that detective lingo:
- "Buster's Growing Grudge":
- Buster's joke that was the basis of the episode: "What did King Tut say when he got scared by the sphynx? 'I want my mummy.'"
- Although nobody laughed at it, his other joke ("What do you call two bananas? A pair of slippers") was pretty funny.
- Buster without his joke, has only this.Buster: Um...my report is about King Tut.
- Buster's report gets a "D". Mr Ratburn writes the "D" in a fancy font, which leads to this.Arthur: No matter how fancy you make a 'D', it's still a 'D'.
Buster: D for "disaster", D for "deadly", D for "Binky told my joke!"
- Sue Ellen at the talent show karate-kicks a pumpkin off a scarecrow that was wearing it for a head. Mr Ratburn says awkwardly that it's a good display of "um...pumpkin kicking."
- Buster was supposed to do a comedy routine in the talent show but instead rambles on about Binky telling his joke. At the end, he's peeved that nobody laughed, even though he didn't tell any jokes. He tells Arthur and Francine that he thought it was the "comedy of truth", but then admits he should have told jokes. Binky and Rattles were in the audience at the time, leading to this.Binky: I don't get it.
Rattles: I think it's a pun.
Binky: Well, it wasn't very punny! [Rattles glares at him]
- After Buster realises that he'd be happy if Binky had never told the joke, he decides he wants to go back in time. The funniest part is that he's completely serious when he says it.Arthur: You can't change the past.
Buster: (angry) Oh, I can't, can't I? (visits Brain's house)
Brain: You can't change the past, Buster.
Buster: Oh, rats.
- Arthur and Buster on his report.Arthur: You hardly did any work at all! Your report was all about eggnog!
Buster: That's not my fault. They put it right next to Egypt in the encyclopedia!
- When Binky gets told that he "stole" Buster's joke, he pays with 75 cents, a sticker of a car and a button. Buster thinks this makes him a "professional."
- Buster interrupting the entire movie theater just to complain about Binky's joke. "Who ends a Columbus report with a joke about KING TUT!?"
- This conversation at the end of the episode.
- "And Now Let's Talk to Some Kids":Every day when you're walking down the street... you stop and think. [Cue Brain thinking, cut to Brain's title card]
Title card: Brain's New Puppy
Brain: Mom, Dad! I'm thinking about getting a new puppy! Hmmm...
Brain's parents: Hmmmmm...
- In the form of another Theme Tune Cameo...Buster: Hey! (It looks like we're looking at the end of the opening, this time with Buster sitting in the circle, until he eventually falls out of the TV)
D.W.: I knew it! I knew there were little people inside the TV! Moooooom!
- The look on Mr. Ratburn's face after Mr. Haney announces that The Magic Toolbox will allow them to be the newest "And Now Let's Talk to Some Kids" class.
- In the form of another Theme Tune Cameo...
- "Revenge of the Chip":
- The episode ends with a priceless look on Molly's face when Binky bites into her potato chip costume.
- The story of D.W. thinking a green potato chip would kill her makes it into the paper, thanks to Bitzi's Slice of Life column. Jane starts telling the story all over town and while D.W. looks on, horrified, she stuffs clippings of said story into envelopes while explaining over the phone that of course she's sending it to all the relatives. As we watch, Jane's bright red lips disengage from her face and begin to say the relatives' names very fast while suspended in midair. Her teeth show too, making it look like the lips are engaged in a wicked smile, until D.W. cries, "MOOOOM!"
- D.W. trying to prove her maturity.D.W.: (wheeling a loud wagon into the library)
Arthur: Well, D.W., you're failing so far.
- Later, after picking the biggest book in the library:Arthur: That doesn't prove you're mature. You can't read.
D.W.: I'll have Mom and Dad read it to me as a bedtime story. I'm interested in the subject. What is it again?
Arthur: (sigh) Macroeconomics.
D.W.: I love that stuff... What is it again?
- The opening to "Clarissa is Cracked." Arthur and D.W. envision what they would have if they were Egyptian mummies. Arthur would have Bionic Bunny action figures, while D.W. is missing her snowball (which Arthur points out won't happen for another 3,448 years). The parents then walk in, finding Arthur inexplicably wearing an Egyptian-style headdress while D.W. is wrapped in bandages.David: If we walk out quietly, we won't have to ask.
Jane: Good idea.
- "Dad's Dessert Dilemma":
- Ratburn's increasingly flimsy excuse of "I thought you might like the spring reading list- oh, are you having cake?" culminating in him randomly showing up at Arthur's house for it.
- In the episode's intro, David greets the audience and tries to call for Arthur.David: Oh hello, are you looking for Arthur? Arthur! He must be doing his homework. (scene cuts to Arthur in the kitchen stuffing his face full of cookies)
- David proceeds to tell the audience about his "misunderstood experiments" all of which result in Arthur and D.W. going "bleah"!
- "D.W. All Fired Up":
- D.W.'s suggestions of additional drills to do following the fire drill, such as a "sudden loss of gravity drill."
- When she's told that their class is going to have a fire drill, her first thought is that they were getting a drill that could shoot fire, and not a drill to prepare for a fire.
- "Mom and Dad Have a Great Big Fight":
- Arthur and D.W. fear their parents may be getting a divorce and worry that they will be abandoned. Cue Oliver Twist-inspired Imagine Spot.Arthur: We have to avoid going to an orphanage at all costs, especially one set in the 1800s.
- Preceded by one of the show's stupidest puns ever when Arthur, with a really forced British accent, tries to do the typical "Please sir, may I have some more?" line, but pronounces it "'ore". Cue Ratburn literally giving him an oar and going into hysterics at his own sadistic joke.
- D.W. gives us what is quite possibly the greatest comeback ever.D.W.: You...You wear glasses!
- To which Arthur retorts with,Arthur: Mom and Dad are not fighting because I wear glasses.
- For an episode about something as scary as parents fighting, the episode is full of hilarious imagine spots, such as D.W. having to walk back and forth at a miles long table to tell her parents "Merry Christmas" from each other because they're not talking anymore, to D.W. apparently thinking that cleaning the house by themselves because their parents aren't there will be just like Snow White.
- Arthur and D.W. fear their parents may be getting a divorce and worry that they will be abandoned. Cue Oliver Twist-inspired Imagine Spot.
- Arthur trying to help D.W. reminisce about all the nice things that happened to her when she was four. D.W. is not impressed with his examplesArthur: You did plenty of great stuff, D.W.D.W.: Yeah? Like what?Arthur: Like you fooled the tooth fairy and got money, and besides that, you taught us all about fire drills, and you got to go to the hospital and get stitches.(beat)
- "D.W.'s Library Card":
- Towards the opening, D.W. is with Binky at a table in the library and he's reading to her from a biography about Frederic Chopin, the famous romantic composer. Arthur approaches, telling her to quit bothering Binky, and D.W. objects, saying that Binky was reading to her about Chopin. Binky quickly covers the biography with a book featuring a cover with a picture of a guy doing a karate kick and says that he was reading about "Choppin'", a karate master. Arthur leads D.W. away and Binky goes back to reading his Chopin biography.
- Arthur's narration.Arthur: I love the library. There's so many books to read and great things to find out. But the best thing about the library is (whispers) it's quiet.
Arthur: (fed up) Except on days when I have to bring D.W.!
D.W.: What does this word say?
Arthur: 'The'. Another great thing about the library is I can check out all these books.
Arthur: What is it now?
D.W.: What does this word say?
Arthur: 'Red'. To take books outta the library, you need a library card. But it's easy to get one of those. All you have to do is...
Arthur: (angry) What?!
D.W.: How about this word?
Arthur: Dog! The Red Dog, OK! Got it?! And stop being so noisy! See the sign? It says 'no talking'!.
D.W.: If I can't read 'The Red Dog', how do you expect me to read that sign?!
- "Arthur's Big Hit"
- The delivery of "I told you... NOT TO... TOUCH IT!!" can come across as funny despite what Arthur's doing when he says it, because it sounds so hammy and is accompanied by slow-motion.
- Despite what it leads up to, Binky's attempts at avoiding Arthur are genuinely funny.Binky: (pacing around outside the bathroom)
Brain: (walks out)
Binky: Is Arthur in there?
Binky: (walks in) Thank you, thank you, thank you!
- And another one:Sue Ellen: (spotting Binky in the bush) Binky? What are you doing?
Binky: Avoiding Arthur. If I don't see him, I don't have to hit him.
Sue Ellen: Oh. Why would you wanna hit Arthur?
Binky: I don't. That's why I don't wanna see him.
Sue Ellen: Hmm. (walking away) Boys.
- "Buster's Breathless":
- This bit:Binky: (pretending to suffocate) Can't breathe! Tell the nurse! I think I have plasma!
Buster: Don't you mean "asthma", Binky?
Binky: Stupid word, too many consonants all smushed together.
- Also:Binky: (watching Buster use his inhaler) See? He's not sick at all! He's just playing the kazoo!
[And then later on...]
Binky: So does that mean you don't have to use that kazoo anymore?
- The best part is, Binky says this even after finding out Buster is using an inhaler and not playing the kazoo.
- This bit:
- "Hide and Snake":
- Arthur says that he has to go because Binky is counting on him. The next scene starts with Binky actually counting.
- When Arthur notices the snake has followed him home, he says to Mrs. Read, "What if a small animal like, say... a snake... followed me home?". Mrs. Read thinks he's stalling because he's meant to be tidying his room.
- The TV show parody Imagine Spots in "The Contest".
- From "The Blizzard":
- The power all over the city is going out due to transformers exploding. D.W. then gives us this gem:D.W.: Mommy! Daddy! The town is exploding and it's very pretty!
- We have these little gems involving Mr. Morris the school janitor, Mr. Ratburn and Mr. Haneynote :Mr. Morris: By the power vested in me by Local 12 Maintenance Workers and Gym Teachers Union, I'm declaring janitorial law!
- Then later on:Mr. Haney: Why eat beans when we have all this food?Mr. Morris: I wouldn't eat that junk if I was you. Besides, it's all froze.Mr. Haney: (frustratedly tries to open a frozen pack of hot dogs with no success) I. Hate. SCHOOL!Mr. Ratburn: (aghast) Mr. Haney! (looks up towards the ceiling) He didn't mean it!Mr. Haney: (whining) I wanna go home... (scornfully) Beans!
- Francine's subplot involves her unable to finish her report so Mr. Ratburn gives her an extended deadline but not has to write more pages. Francine isn't happy about having to write a longer report while everyone is playing in the snow. Buster points out that if she finished her first report, this wouldn't have happened. Francine responds by throwing a snowball at Buster's face.
- It's snowing like crazy, the power is out pretty much all over town, everyone is desperately going to the Read residence for heat/power. Except Grandma Thora who gives us this gem.David: Mom! Are you ready to go?
Grandma Thora: I'll be ready as soon as I finish the driveway hon! (Whistles happily as she shovels the icy driveway)
- The power all over the city is going out due to transformers exploding. D.W. then gives us this gem:
- "Prunella Gets It Twice":
The Ghost of Presents Past: And so she started doing extra chores, including caring for her little brother Tiny Tim.
- Prunella's birthday party has one of the best cases of Brutal Honesty in birthday song form ever.The kids: On your birthday / you're so special, holy cow! / Now you're older, here's a present / Where's the ice cream? Feed us now!
- In the same episode, the Ghost of Presents Past is showing Prunella how hard Francine worked to get her the Polly Locket doll that she scoffed at because she already got one.
Prunella: (Sceptical) Francine has a little brother called Tiny Tim?
The Ghost of Presents Past: Uuuuh, well...
Prunella: Can we please stick to the facts?
The Ghost of Presents Past: Alright! Picky, picky!
- And Prunella shrugging off the Ghost of Presents Past (and the Ghost of Lunch Tomorrow, who's funny in himself), by saying, "I don't believe in ghosts."
- The Ghost of Lunch Tomorrow is a ghost who looks just like Binky and all he does is predict the next day's lunches.
- Prunella's birthday party has one of the best cases of Brutal Honesty in birthday song form ever.
- "To Beat or Not To Beat": Francine's bad singing when drumming random beats on her drum set on top of her apartment building. Much of it is a bunch of loud wailing noises, and once you learn it's Francine making the wailing, it's pretty funny.
- "The Rat Who Came to Dinner":
- Arthur's dream at the beginning where his entire family is replaced with Mr. Ratburn (including D.W. and Pal).
- This episode provides several classic D.W. moments:
- When Mr. Ratburn arrives at the Read house while his roof is being replaced, D.W. scampers around him saying, "Hey! Hey! Look at me! Look at me!" It's D.W.'s personality almost entirely distilled into a single moment.
- After Mr. Ratburn has settled in, he joins Arthur and D.W. on the living room sofa:D.W.: So the school roof fell in?
Mr. Ratburn: (lifting Kate onto his knee) No, the roof to my home.
D.W.: But you're a teacher! (hops off the sofa) The school is your home!
Mr. Ratburn: Teachers don't live at school, D.W. We have houses, just like you!
D.W.: (solemnly) The world seemed so simple before this moment... (leaves)
- And then there's this:Arthur: (to Muffy and Francine) Wanna go to the Sugar Bowl for some hot cocoa?
Francine: Sorry, we can't. We're going to the Sugar Bowl.
- Mr. Ratburn's love for cake returns with the line, "You made CAKE? For ME?" And when they go to bed, he asks, "Will there be more cake tomorrow?"
- Arthur's desperate attempts to stop his parents from letting Mr. Ratburn stay at their house:Arthur: It's wrong! It goes against nature!
David: The poor man has nowhere else to go.
Arthur: Are there NO hotels!?
- "My Music Rules", is worth watching just for D.W.'s lines:D.W.: Do I have any choice in this?
Jane: None whatsoever.
D.W.: (feigned enthusiasm) Oh boy, a concert.
- D.W. tells Yo-Yo Ma (to his face) that she thought that the concert would stink, and was pleasantly surprised.
- She also misconstrues "Yo-Yo Ma" as "yo mama". It was practically gift wrapped.
- That leads to what might be the funniest thing she ever says:
- Also, this exchange:Mr. Frensky: Did I hear you say you need a musician?
Francine: Sorry Dad. They don't want someone to play their nose.
Mr. Frensky: I didn't mean me. I meant your uncle Josh.
Francine: Uncle Josh! Of course, why didn't I think of that? That's a great idea Dad, only... who's uncle Josh?
Mr. Frensky: Well, at least I think he's your uncle.
Arthur: You play... your nose?
- Also, when Arthur is told uncle Josh can "play anything" he has an imagine spot featuring him playing as a one man band, and then playing a vacuum cleaner as both a bass guitar and a clarinet. It has to be seen...
- The Teletubbies expy "The Love Ducks" from "That's a Baby Show". Every time they are on TV. So weird, yet appealing in a way.
- "Double Dare": The whole opening with Arthur explaining to the audience how big catastrophes can occur from the smallest incidents.Arthur: Like how a guy no one ever heard of records a song in his bathroom, and it becomes...
(cut to Imagine Spot of D.W. singing "Crazy Bus" in the living-room, as a deranged-looking Arthur sits on the sofa with two cushions over his ears.)
Arthur: Stop it. Stop it before I go crazy and EAT THESE CUSHIONS!
(Imagine Spot ends)
Arthur: Or... (groans as he tries to pull something offscreen through the bathroom window) how D.W. can manage to have a tantrum over nothing?
(cut to Imagine Spot of D.W. opening the Reads' front door to reveal a sunny spring day)
D.W.: I'm sick of sunshine! Sun, sun, all the time sun! How about some rain around here? Is that too much to ask!? IS IT?!
- "Kids Are From Earth, Parents Are From Pluto":
- When Mr. Frensky is shown falling asleep during a presentation at the last parents' night, and wakes up yelling, "Forty-four! Is that correct?". Francine has an Imagine Spot where he does the same in Mr. Ratburn's class, and Mr. Ratburn makes him write lines on a chalkboard.
- Also, Sue-Ellen's Imagine Spot where her mother shows up in an elaborate dress and everyone laughs at her.
- The beginning narration has Arthur talking about parents like he's some sort of anthropologist, noting that parents look like larger versions of kids but are much more concerned with warmth and get really excited over some words like "sale".
- When Sue Ellen wants her parents to be "normal," she tells her father not to talk about his job, so all he says is, "I'm a diplomat." When one of the mothers becomes interested and asks if he's been to many places, he says, "Just here and there."
- When Buster asks if Sue Ellen's parents are aliens, she gets offended but he says, "Don't be offended! I like aliens!" Similarly, when Binky claims that his parents are not actually related to him because he's embarrassed that they call him Affectionate Nicknames, Buster decides that that must mean the Barneses are aliens "too".
- In "Pet Peeved":
- One of Francine's instructions for looking after Nemo is "He's not a dog or a robot— he'll only do as you say if he wants to."
- Binky hides Nemo up his shirt and is asked if he meowed. He evades the question by saying, "It's a free country! Can't a boy meow if he wants to?!"
- "The Last of Mary Moo Cow":
- D.W. screaming so loud, she makes her brother and parents think something happened to her. She's actually overjoyed to learn that Mary Moo Cow would come.
- This Astonishingly Appropriate Interruption:(Arthur and Buster are watching Dark Bunny)
Announcer: In the raindrenched streets of Dark City where the sun never rises, only one person stands between crime and humanity...
(D.W. changes the channel to The Mary Moo Cow Show)
Mary Moo Cow: Mary Moo Cow!
- D.W. enjoying the stock market show that replaced Mary Moo Cow. Also a minor Heartwarming Moment when it's revealed that the boring reporter who did that show was none other than Mary Moo Cow's actress herself.
- "Bitzi's Beau"
Mr. Ratburn: I do. But I must tell you sir, that's a run-on sentence, try breaking it up with a few periods.
- Pretty much the entirety of Buster's Imagine Spot of Mr Ratburn marrying Bitzi, particularly when an Elvis impersonator asks for the vows, and Mr Ratburn replies with this gem:
- "The Election":
- Arthur and Muffy run for class president and are later joined by Binky. When Binky wins the election, Muffy blames Arthur and promises to never forget this.Buster: I told you Muffy takes things too seriously.Arthur: I hope she never loses a real election.
- And while this is going on, Mr. Ratburn is in the background trying to explain to Binky that he didn't actually win anything because it was a mock election.Mr. Ratburn: Binky? You do know this was only a mock election, right?
Binky: But I'm still in charge right?
Mr. Ratburn: Let's review the meaning of the word mock, shall we?
- At one point, Mr. Ratburn teaches about past presidents. Muffy imagines herself as Thomas Jefferson buying the Louisiana Purchase, and then wanting to buy Paris. Binky imagines himself as Teddy Roosevelt saying "speak softly and carrying a big stick," which he takes literally. And then Buster imagines himself as Herbert Hoover trying to make jokes in the middle of the Great Depression.Buster!Hoover: Why did the chicken cross the road? To hop into this pot! (zero reaction from his audience) Gosh, tough crowd.
- Arthur and Muffy run for class president and are later joined by Binky. When Binky wins the election, Muffy blames Arthur and promises to never forget this.
- "Arthur's Family Feud":
- When David's souffle falls on the floor and gets ruined, Arthur and D.W. each claim the other one is responsible for what happened. Mr. and Mrs. Read each give the kids a chance to explain what happened to the souffle. When Arthur begins to tell his side of the story, however...Arthur: I'll tell you exactly what happened. I was in the den, sitting on the couch-D.W.: Liar! You were in the chair!
- And in the same episode, D.W. uses toys to act out what happened. She uses Mary Moo Cow in lieu of Pal and then is interrupted by this.Arthur: That doesn't look anything like Pal! And it's a female!
- When David's souffle falls on the floor and gets ruined, Arthur and D.W. each claim the other one is responsible for what happened. Mr. and Mrs. Read each give the kids a chance to explain what happened to the souffle. When Arthur begins to tell his side of the story, however...
- "Nerves of Steal":
- When Buster is fawning over the Cyber Toy, telling Arthur to "look at" its features, Arthur says, "Yeah, and look at the price!"
- When Arthur and Buster don't have any Cyber Toys but their friends do.Buster: Everyone on Earth has a Cyber Toy except us!Arthur: Not everyone.Buster: (sees the Tibbles with Cyber Toys) Yep, everyone.
- When Buster imagines himself as a wanted criminal after stealing the Cyber Toy, he imagines himself in court and the judge looks like Mr Ratburn and his classmates are with him and they all did law-related things during the weekends.Judge: Now, how did you all spend your weekends?Brain: I studied motion-detecting security systems!Francine: I read Crime and Punishment.Binky: I went on a field trip to the police station.
- Buster becomes a bit paranoid, and when he hears Francine telling a sports team to "steal third base", Buster says, "No, put it back! It's not worth it!" and gets odd looks. He also accidentally calls Arthur's room his "cell" and jawbreakers "lawbreakers".
- "You Are Arthur":
- The Teaser for this episode sees Arthur wondering what it would be like to be someone else for a while, like Mr. Ratburn. We cut to a P.O.V. Cam through Mr. Ratburn's eyes for the episode's first Imagine Spot:Mr. Ratburn: [clears throat] Good morning, class! Let's start the day off with a little math quiz!
Students: [disappointed] Awww...
Mr. Ratburn: [thinking as he looks at the stack of quiz papers] Hmm. That wasn't a very big groan. Maybe I'm getting too soft on them. [aloud as he sets down the quizzes and picks up a much larger stack of papers] On second thought, let's start the day with a big math test!
Students: [despairing] AWWWW!...
Mr. Ratburn: [thinking] Ah! That's more like it!
- After the episode shifts to a P.O.V. Cam through Arthur's eyes, Arthur is feeling nauseous and contemplating skipping out on a race he signed up for to raise money for a children's reading room at the library. Then, when he imagines what would happen if they didn't raise enough money...[Mr. Haney and the librarian are standing in the new room, admiring it.]
Construction Worker: You were five dollars short, so we had to leave out some features. Like doors and windows.
[Mr. Haney looks around to see that he is trapped.]
Mr. Haney: Wait! Wait! Don't go! I have five dollars!
Construction worker: Throw in another ten and we'll give you a roof, too!
[It starts to rain inside the library.]
- The Teaser for this episode sees Arthur wondering what it would be like to be someone else for a while, like Mr. Ratburn. We cut to a P.O.V. Cam through Mr. Ratburn's eyes for the episode's first Imagine Spot:
- "Just Desserts":
- When Arthur dreams that Thora is the wedding cake and he eats her, Buster comes dressed as the woodcutter and says, "You're a grandma-eating wolf disguised as Arthur, or maybe you're a grandma-eating alien disguised as a wolf disguised as Arthur".
- Dream Binky teases Arthur for his clothes, so Arthur puts on a cape, which Binky thinks is worse.
- When Arthur falls Asleep in Class while watching a documentary on amoebas, he dreams there's a cake-shaped amoeba.
- In the "A Word from Us Kids" segment, a girl mispronounces "broccoli" with "Brochioli".
- In the Cold Open, Arthur shows off a book he's reading, and we get this:Arthur: There are talking pigs...
Talking Pig: (oinks) And I was doing this hundreds of years before Babe!
- In "Best of the Nest":
- Two of the game's goose characters (Silly and Plain Goose) resemble Buster and Arthur who play as them respectively.
- On the drive to the campsite, Buster said his mom made him stop playing since it would ruin his eyes and then mistakes Mr. Ratburn for Prunella.
- The fact that Mr. Ratburn had never use the internet before, while dating it to the time it was released, was still pretty funny in and of itself. He even called it "the webbing of the information."
- When Binky asks Brain if it will be cold over the summer because his father told him he'd buy a computer when it snows in July.
- At the end, Francine states that neither she or Muffy won the game since the only way to scare off a bear is to "Do the Hokey Pokey". Binky finds that solution ridiculous. A bear can be heard roaring in the distance. Binky immediately starts doing the Hokey Pokey and everyone else joins in.
- Just the fact that "Do the Hokey Pokey" is an option in ALL challenges.
- "Buster's Sweet Success":
- Buster tries to resist eating the chocolates he is supposed to be selling. Then one morning, he wakes up realizing he ate the chocolate in his sleep. What really made it priceless was his scream that followed.
- Buster reading the box wrong when trying to sell chocolates.Buster: Hello Mrs. Johnson! Wana buy some... mouse-watering detestable chocolates?"
- "Brother, Can You Spare a Clarinet?":
- Binky is sent to the principal's office for not bringing his clarinet to school. He tells the principal he's a doofus. The principal then, looking through the student files, says, "There's no A Doofus here."
- When the Tough Customers attempt to end music by ruining the tryouts for the Young Person's Orchestra, Muffy begins playing her violin. It's so awful, Rattles comments that someone else had the same idea. Not to mention how Muffy's violin-playing is so awful that it makes Binky Rage Quit his anti-music Evil Plan, just to show both Muffy and the music judges how it's done.
- Binky's evil scheme in general is hilarious. He plans to end music worldwide using the anti-music machine, which is just his clarinet connected to a megaphone.
- In "The Boy With His Head in the Clouds," Binky is trying to teach George how to be a Tough Customer. He has to be on stilts to be made a foot taller, which makes him fall, his insults don't sound mean, and when it came to picking a nickname, well...Binky: We need to give you a new name.George: How about... Georgie?Binky: Georgie!? That's a girls' name! You seem to like making things. Let's call you... Hammer.
- In "Citizen Frensky," Francine taking a picture of Mr. Ratburn while he's bending over and putting the photo on her newspaper.No ifs ands or buts!
- Another gem from Thora, in "Arthur Loses His Marbles," she has him polish the floor as part of his marble training to extend his reach, but mutters under her breath that the floor hasn't been waxed in years.
- "Friday the 13th":
- Brain sees his friends watching a horror movie and asks what it's called. Buster replies, "I Know What You Did Last Wednesday", and Brain responds with what he did.
- When Brain is proving that stepping on a crack won't break your mother's back, he tap-dances on one.
- Brain drops his knife and Mrs. Powers says that means they'll get a male visitor. Brain dismisses this... but then Binky comes over.
- The Brain's neighbours' dog literally eating his homework.Brain: "No! Not my homework! Take the lunch!"
- Buster thinks his jester's hat is lucky because one day, he wore it and everybody gave him a present. The Brain points out that this happened on his birthday.
- "Ants in Arthur's Pants" shows Arthur trying to win extra credit for class with a science project based on PANTS, which stands for Patience, Attentive, Nosy, Thoughtful, and Systematic. The response he and Francine get when discussing PANTS in front of D.W. is priceless.D.W. What's the big deal about pants?! EVERYONE WEARS THEM! Eight-year olds care about the craziest things! (Runs away completely baffled)
- Though "Is There a Doctor In the House?" is a bit of a Tear Jerker, this line in the Imagine Spot was funny.D.W.: It's hard to be an accountant when you can't count past ten.
- The Imagine Spot from "To Tibble the Truth", when an Ancient Greek man is looking for an honest man. One boy who looks like Arthur says, "I'm an honest man," but then a little girl who looks like D.W. claims he's not because he stole the snowball and lied about it. The Arthur-esque boy then says, "Delta Omega, stop it!"
- "Elwood City Turns 100!":
- Buster mistakenly reading "Director" as "Dr. Ector". And his improvised segment in the play along with his Yankee Doodle parody.Buster: Or it's a real alien!Arthur: Buster, what are you doing?!Buster: Buster? Who is this "Buster" you speak of? I am... Dr. Ector! Behold my claw! I come from the planet... Corn! And have traveled millions of miles to deliver this important message to you, which will be sung, to the tune you earthlings call, "Yankee Doodle". (starts singing as music plays) Dr. Ector came to Earth, in a flying saucer, had a message to deliver, be a... Be a frequent flosser! Floss your teeth every night, floss your teeth all day, if you floss your teeth with all your might, you won't have tooth decay!
- After pressing Brain to write a UFO sighting into the script, the UFO prop is accidentally ruined. So Brain makes some hasty rewrites as the play is going, handing Binky notes to explain away the UFO as Ball Lightning... of course, since Brain s writing these, it quickly becomes a scientific explanation of various natural phenomenon.George: Gee willikers! Is that a flying saucer in the sky?Binky: No, Bobby. That is not a flying saucer. It is probably just a natural phenomenon such as ball lightning, a rare form of lightning in which a persistent and moving luminous sphere can travel—"
- Binky's Bad "Bad Acting" while reading off the lines helps, too.
- Buster mistakenly reading "Director" as "Dr. Ector". And his improvised segment in the play along with his Yankee Doodle parody.
- This conversation from "Waiting to Go":Brain: That Cloud Looks Like... an amoeba!Binky: No, it doesn't. It looks like a swab without a stick.Brain: Concentrate! Surely you see an amoeba!Binky: I don't see an amoeba!
- "Pick a Car, Any Car": Jane Read fantasizes about having a two-seater convertible to herself, and leaves her family in her dust.Sorry, no room! (tires screech)
- In "Jenna's Bedtime Blues", Jenna tries watching TV to keep her mind off bed-wetting. She comes across a diaper commercial, a Scottish man talking about a "wee leak" in his bagpipes, and three puppets saying, "P".
- In "Dear Adil," when Alberto tells Arthur about Cultural Stereotypes such as the ones in Arthur's Illinois Jack comics, he recalls the American-themed TV shows from when he used to live in Ecuador, where all the kids go surfing after school, live in skyscrapers and put ketchup on all their food.
- In "Bitzi's Break-Up," Buster has an Imagine Spot where his mom gets a new boyfriend, a boring telemarketer. He comes out of the dream yelling, "I hate Martin Spivak!" and a very confused Arthur asks, "Who?"
- The episode "Desk Wars" starts out with Arthur in class attempting to introduce the show, but an argument breaks out amongst his friends (who should be the host of the show?):
- At one point, Binky can be heard yelling, "It's called the Binky Barnes Variety Hour! And anyone who doesn't like it can walk!"
- Mr. Ratburn takes over the introduction, and offers to take the viewer to the teacher's lounge to show how adults (unlike kids) don't fight over trivial matters. In the teacher's lounge, we see:Ms. Sweetwater: I didn't move your cheese!
Principal Haney: Yes you did! Mr. Marco said so!
(both of them look angrily at Mr. Marco, who tries to look innocent)
Ms. Krasny: Alright, who hasn't been washing their coffee mugs?!
(Mr. Ratburn closes the lounge door and looks at the camera, laughing nervously)
- In "Tales from the Crib", D.W. tries to tell Vicita about the time she got her first bed rather than a crib, and how the Tibble Twins tried to scare her with a story about a man-spider that hid under the bed. Vicita misunderstands, leading to this golden bit.Vicita: Yikes, that sounds scary!D.W.: Oh, Vicita. They were just trying to scare me! Arachnar's just an Irving Legend.Vicita: A what?D.W.: An Irving legend. It's the kind of story your uncle Irving tells you. It's really scary, but it never actually happened.Vicita: I don't have an Uncle Irving.D.W.: There is no Uncle Irving, Vicita, he's an Irving legend too!
- Everybody dropping glass after someone utters a curse word. It's Nadine's lampshade that's especially noteworthy. D.W calls her into her room to test out the word. Nadine reacts by standing on her nightstand and throws what looks to be an ancient looking vase onto the floor when D.W curses.
- D.W. repeating the word to Arthur, who just happens to be working on the same plane model D.W. destroyed in "Arthur's Big Hit". Guess what he does when she says it aloud....D.W.: Arthur! What does *bleep* mean? (Arthur gasps and drops the plane) Whoa! It happened again!
- D.W's Imagine Spot where saying the word in front of her family results in city-wide chaos where everything in Elwood City begins falling and/or breaking; ultimately resulting in the Moon falling out of the sky and landing in town. Followed by Mary Moo Cow jumping over the moon and breaking an egg with a hammer.
- When D.W. gets frustrated with Jane trying to call her down for supper, D.W. accidentally lets the word slip out of her mouth. What follows next is an Oh, Crap! reaction from D.W. as she clearly didn't mean it, Nadine bailing on her, and Jane coming in the room with this...Jane (outraged): Dora. Winifred. Read. What did you just say to me?!D.W.: Umm... can I have a soda?
- "Arthur Weighs In":D.W.: That's your after-school snack? No wonder you need husky pants!
- In "Binky Goes Nuts", when Mrs Barnes forgets that she made the sandwich herself and asks if it has peanuts.
- There's also this line when Binky hears about anaphylaxis:Binky: Who's Anna Phylaxis? Is she a kid at my school?
- And Binky's dream:Binky: (reaches out to grab a lasagna but is stopped by Mrs Mac-Grady's label)
Mrs. MacGrady: Sorry, Binky. That's off-limits. The cook who prepared it once stepped on a peanut.
Binky: (reaches for hamburgers)
Mrs. MacGrady: (pulls a lever which puts a screen over the hamburgers) Watch it, sonny. The guy who flipped that burger-his middle name is Peanut.
Binky: (looks shocked, then looks at a pie)
Mrs. MacGrady: And don't even think about the pie. The eggs from that meringue were laid by a chicken who once dreamt about a dancing peanut in a bowler hat.
Binky: But I'm hungry!!!
Mrs. MacGrady: (takes him to a table just for kids with allergies) That's Adam (points to a boy in a space suit) He's allergic to Formica. The cafeteria's a tough place for him, but he can't get enough of our home-made spinach juice! (points to two boys with paper bags on their hands, eating from a trough) That's Ron and Don. They're allergic to their hands, and all utensils. And this is where you'll sit. (presents Binky with a dish of Brussels sprouts) Enjoy your Brussels sprouts. You'll get them everyday with the rest of your life.
- There's also this line when Binky hears about anaphylaxis:
- "Breezy Listening Blues":
- In the Cold Open, when Brain gets his first B- on a test, he fears that he's losing his intelligence and has a nightmare sequence that he becomes like Buster.
- Also in the beginning, Muffy apparently confused the country Congo with the Congo dance of Panama. Becomes a Brick Joke at the end, where she confuses the Roman emperor Caesar with Caesar's salad.
- "Arthur Makes Waves":
- At the beginning, Arthur's classmates reenact scenes from the past. Muffy hates the outfits except for the one from the 1950's, and then there's the argument that the olden-time Molly and Arthur have.Olden-time!Molly: "Your crops are where my cows graze!"Olden-time!Arthur: "Well, your cows are where my crops grow!"
- D.W. mistakes sweat for her hair crying, and when they learn the pool is closed, she coughs and shouts, "Water!" as though she was in a Thirsty Desert, while dramatic music plays.
- Arthur, D.W., and James pretend they're walking the plank to get into the pool, then when Molly hits them with a squirt gun, they squirt her back with their hands, causing her to fall off her lilo. She claims squirting her with their hands is babyish and anyone can do it, only to find she can't do it herself.
- At the beginning, Arthur's classmates reenact scenes from the past. Muffy hates the outfits except for the one from the 1950's, and then there's the argument that the olden-time Molly and Arthur have.
- "Feeling Flush":
- At the beginning, Arthur imagines his friends wasting water while stranded in the Sahara: Francine wets her arm to determine if a spot is dirt or a freckle, Muffy uses it to scare a vulture who was "looking at [her] funny", and Binky makes a water balloon.
- The headline "Boy Finds Chip Shaped Like Donkey" is on the front page of the newspaper.
- This argument between Arthur and D.W.(Arthur is brushing his teeth with the tap running)D.W.: Arthur Read, what do you think you're doing?! (storms in and turns the water off)Arthur: Hey!D.W.: It's called 'water conversation'!Arthur: You mean 'conservation'! And what it's really called is 'annoying your brother'! (turns faucet back on)D.W.: Miss Morgan says if you use up all the water, there'll be none left for my generation! (turns it off)Arthur: We're the same generation and I'm not using up all the water!
- Arthur tries to justify brushing his teeth with the water running by saying it's "calming". Francine says, "You need calming when you brush your teeth?! A little weird!".
- The janitor says, "We didn't even have a suggestion box 'til you suggested it!".
- D.W. calls two eight-year-olds "old people".
- When Francine imagines accidentally using all the water in the city, the headline refers to her by her first name.
- "Do You Speak George?":
- The episode has some ridiculous jokes with Arthur and Buster's language, "Arster-Buther."Buster: Who ear oyu etoda? ("How are you today?")
George: Kthan oyu! ("Thank you!")
- George invents a language entirely composed of gestures and sounds.George: My language is the best because anyone can speak it!
- The episode has some ridiculous jokes with Arthur and Buster's language, "Arster-Buther."
- This moment from "The Secret About Secrets":D.W.: I wish I knew a secret.Nadine: I could tell you one.D.W.: Not the same.
- "The Squirrels":
- Even though it wasn't very nice calling D.W. "scary", the Fantasy Sequence about scariness vs un-scariness at the beginning is funny, especially, the part where Arthur pours salt on a scary alien to make it small and cute, then D.W. tells on him for "being mean to aliens."
- In the same episode, Arthur's Blatant Lies when he tries to deny fear but turns the light on.Arthur: The darkness was hurting my eyes.Buster: Really?Arthur: Yeah. It happens to people with glasses so you wouldn't know about it.
- From "Family Fortune":Francine: [showing off her bracelet] I bet it belonged to Cleopatra.
Muffy: It says, Made In Japan.
Francine: That was to fool the Romans so they wouldnt take it.
- "Swept Away":
D.W.: Some people see the glass as half full. Other people just have glasses.
- The weird grunt Arthur does at the end of the prologue. It has to be seen to believed.
- D.W. talking to Arthur:
- From "Germophobia", after Buster is declared a slob:Arthur: Haven't you ever been sick?
Bitzi: (in thought bubble) No school for you today, Buster.
Buster: (dreamily) Yeah...
Arthur: Okay, wrong question.
- "Brain's Shocking Secret":
- When the Brain lies that the reason he was held back was because he was a genius, Binky makes a leap in logic and thinks that flunking makes you a genius. He also steals Brain's nickname and calls Alan Powers "The Oesophagus".
- In the same episode, several characters incorrectly use the word "us" instead of "we" and the Brain correcting them. The funniest is when the voices in the Brain's head do it.Voices: Us voices in your head are right.Brain: That's we voices.
- In "Hic or Treat", Arthur tires to cure D.W.'s hiccups by showing her an episode of Dark Bunny, a show she finds scary. Only problem is: the episode shown on TV that particular day happens to be a crossover.. with Mary Moo Cow, which makes Arthur shriek in terror and frustration.
Brain: That's the castle, and those are the serfs, and there's the village where false beliefs are taking hold!
- When Arthur and his friends are comparing "scary" costumes, Brain announces that he's going as the 14th century. It's basically a wearable diorama, which he proceeds to explain:
- "Francine's Pilfered Paper":Mr. Ratburn: Muffy, nice work, although your reference to embroidery as "pilgrim bling" felt inappropriate.
- Francine dreams that she's grown up and become a famous author but then the author of the article she plagiarizes shows up, wearing a mask.Adult Muffy: Why do you wear a mask? Is it because rage and envy has permanently disfigured you?Author: No, I just have very sensitive skin, BUT I AM FILLED WITH RAGE!!
- Also during the dream, Muffy asks Francine about her next cookbook, to which she says she's working on it. Cut to all the other members of their class as mindless drones cut-and-pasting data from the internet.
- After Francine turns in her paper, there's a montage of her classmates writing their papers over the Thanksgiving weekend. Buster tries to pad his essay by writing really big, Arthur loses his paper when Pal turns off the computer, Binky throws out perfectly good pencils when the lead breaks, and Muffy cries out, "My nail!"
- Francine dreams that she's grown up and become a famous author but then the author of the article she plagiarizes shows up, wearing a mask.
- In "Big Brother Binky", on the plane ride to China, a kid behind Binky won't stop kicking his chair, leading to this:Mom: Don't do that, honey.(The kid continues kicking the chair)Mom: No kicking, sweetie!(The kid does it again)
- In "Phony Fern," when Fern's being Virgule Watteau and George is being Bastings (detectives that Fern made up) but then Fern/Virgule takes out her phone, George says, "You can't have a cell phone, it's meant to be the 1930s!"
- The revelation in "The Great MacGrady" that Muffy is so sheltered and pampered that she actually doesn't know how to do dishes by hand, believing that she can get the job done simply by squirting some dishwashing liquid on a sink full of dirty dishes.
- Brain yelling at his TV at all the screwups in the Lost Expy in "Brain Gets Hooked.""JUST USE THE CODE, IT'S PI! YOU LEARNED IT IN EPISODE 6!"
- "When Carl Met George":
- Carl's well-intended assessment of George's drawing:George: What do you think of my drawing? Do you like it?
Carl: It's brown. I hate brown.
- From the same episode, Imaginary-Arthur's outfit of a stripy shirt, a tutu, and a hat that looks like ice cream. George finds it funny, too.
- Carl's well-intended assessment of George's drawing:
- "Falafelosophy": As Sue Ellen struggles with writer's block, she gets an unexpected visitor: "Neil Gaiman? What are you doing in my falafel?!"
- In "Muffy and the Big Bad Blog" the entire subplot about Mr Ratburn finally getting a computer and connecting to the internet, especially when he ends up falling for common email scams(I.E. get money from home without doing any work, buying land in another state).
- "I Wanna Hold Your Hand":
- The Tough Customers trying to figure out what Binky's big secret is. They eventually conclude, incorrectly, that it must have something to do with his upcoming clarinet solo. "Maybe he's playing something really romantic, like Debussy."
- At the beginning of the episode, Arthur is doing a speech on knowing when you're too old for things, while D.W. is pretending to be a baby.
- Binky tells George not to say a word. He takes this to mean he's not allowed to talk at all, which includes not saying what the capital of Sweden is, writing instead of speaking during a game of Go Fish, and at the end, he holds a "The end" sign up and Binky says, "You can talk now", to which George holds a sign saying "Really?" and Binky says, "Yes, really."
- "S.W.E.A.T." features Binky participating in International Talk Like a Pirate Day.Binky: Once me palms were so sweaty, I dropped me clarinet on me big toe. And I've got the scar t' prove it!Ratburn: (firmly) Binky, International Talk Like a Pirate Day is over.Binky: (disappointed) Okay.
- Even though "Grandpa Dave's Memory Album" was otherwise a Tear Jerker episode, Francine's talkative grandmother was pretty funny, especially this line.Bubbe: "Here. Have some water. Your body is 70% water anyway, so it's like drinking more you."
- Arthur fantasizing about being awarded the Marc Brown Certificate of Existence◊.
- "Buster the Lounge Lizard":
- When Mr. Ratburn confronts Buster over the Dark Buggy toy he brought into the classroom, he accidentally causes it to fire a suction dart at the ceiling, hoist itself up, and... deploy a spinning coloured light ball accompanied by disco music.
- Arthur, Muffy, and Francine each have an Imagine Spot about what the teacher's lounge is really like. Arthur imagines it as a giant playroom (with Mr. Ratburn playing with dolls), Muffy imagines it as a spa (Mr. Marco is shown in a jacuzzi, fully clothed), and Francine imagines it as a Mad Scientist Laboratory devoted to making tests harder.Mr. Ratburn: We have a new question from the Stumper 2000! "Someone says they always lie: are they lying or telling the truth?"
Mr. Haney: Hmmm, what's the answer?
Mr. Ratburn: There isn't one! It's a paradox!
Mr. Haney: Eeeeeexcellent, we'll put it on the next math test and make it worth half their grade for the semester! [Evil Laugh]
- Also worth noting is that Mr. Ratburn, in Arthur's Imagine Spot, appears to be re-enacting Galileo presenting the heliocentric theory... with dolls.Wrestler Doll: I'm telling you, the Earth orbits the Sun!Milkmaid Doll: (in falsetto) Heresy, Signor Galileo! Heresy, I say!
- There are lots of The Beatles references in "The Last Tough Customer", especially the song they sing.
- When the Tough Customers try to re-brand themselves, one of their ideas is to become the "Buff Customers."
- There's a moment early in the episode where George tricks Slink into hitting himself with a water balloon, and Slink comes off of it thinking that he came out on top.
- In "Fern and the Case of the Stolen Story", Fern gets tongue-tied when trying to convince everyone that Silas (Ladonna's uncle) and Cyrus (a character in her story) are not the same person.Fern: "...and Silas isn't Cyrus, I mean Cyrus isn't-"
- While teaching Bud how to make snowballs in "Waiting for Snow", D.W. warns him not to keep one in her freezer just like how she did or else it will mysteriously disappear. To her dismay, he decides to keep his first perfectly-made snowball and names it "Bally". This backfires when his mom has him take it out of the freezer since he took out all the frozen food to make room for it, and then he tries to completely tape it together only for it to melt.
- In "Brain Freeze," Brain's mom's ice cream parlor receives competition from a new parlor down the block called Yumbobo, whose mascot is a giant blue penguin, which Brain notices has a little curly pig tail.Brain: A tail?! Not only are you blue, you're anatomically incorrect!
- In "Whip. Mix. Blend." Molly decides to train Rattles in dealing with his new step-siblings by letting him take care of Molly's younger brother. James is usually a shy boy so Rattles thinks it should be easy, but when he's led into the basement, he realizes that James is not alone as D.W., Bud Compson and The Tibble Twins come out of hiding. The look on Rattles' face has to be seen to be believed.
- "The Substitute Arthur":
Buster: Friday!? How can it be Friday? There need to be more weekdays!Mr. Ratburn: If only more students were like Buster Baxter!Brain: (Says nothing, just drops the books he just checked out in utter shock and disbelief that Mr. Ratburn uttered such words about Buster)
- Buster and Arthur have a conversation and Mr. Ratburn walks in, not quite realizing the context (that Arthur is about to be gone for the weekend).
Buster: No! I don't wanna play tennis! I wanna go like THIS! [Buster runs around flailing his arms and making weird noises]
- Buster imagines himself acting like D.W.
Buster: Don't you even want to try to play it my way?D.W.: Nope!
- This conversation when D.W. and Buster play a board game:
- The rules of Buster's version of Megalopolis make Brain lose two IQ points.
- "Brain's Brain" has a Call-Back to "The Contest," where a scene of Brain's story is shown in his memory.
- "Arthur's Toy Trouble":
- Muffy jumps in instantly when she hears the word "valuable."
- Arthur has an Imagine Spot where D.W. can't get her toy open, so she gets a chainsaw to open it.
- "Mr. Ratburn and the Special Someone":
- When the kids try to imagine a tougher Mr. Ratburn, they imagine him Hulking Out.
- The kids make a love poem to Ms. Turner and pretend it's from Mr. Ratburn— only trouble is, they misspell a lot of words. Even funnier, Ms. Turner reads it in Mr. Ratburn's voice and the imaginary Mr. Ratburn says all the misspelled words like how they're spelt.My dear Paj Tuner: You are a book to me; a book I can't not put down. Will you make me happy and erase this winkled frown? Shine on me like the loonly moon above, and together we will build a liberry; a liberry of love — Nigal Ratburn
- Blink and you'll miss it, but when Ms. Turner corrects the spelling mistakes, she underlines "Nigal" twice.
- "The Feud":
- Arthur and D.W. argue over condiments, and then the former imagines them as seniors with robot assistants still having the argument, with the robots joining in.
- Cowboy music playing when Arthur and Buster give each other the stink eye.
- Binky decides to flip a coin to see if he's on Arthur's or Buster's side, only for the "teams" to argue over who'll be represented by heads and who by tails, and over whether the coin should land on the table or if Binky should catch it. When the coin does land, it's not flat, prompting another argument.
- Binky imagining Buster as Dark Bunny and Arthur as DB's nemesis Dr. Aardvarkian, complete with superhero versions of their friends. Muffy's superhero suit has a "$" on the front.
- Muffy accidentally knocking over her snow fort by stamping her foot... and then accusing Francine of doing it on purpose.
- The Brain figuring out that Arthur, Buster, and Binky were lying about there being a contest being judged by the mayor, by realising that "mayor" is spelt wrong.
- Buster claiming that he's good friends with Arthur because neither of them can see any resemblance between an argument and a sandwich.
- In "D.W. and Dr. Whosit":
- The titular show has a tagline "Egad! The doctor has blivered!", which leads to Mr. Read saying, "Egad! The dad is mad!". Also, D.W. tries to make a tagline of gibberish.Arthur: "What does that mean?"D.W.: "Wouldn't you like to know?!"
- At the beginning, Arthur demonstrates that you can be too young for certain things by imagining Kate as a pilot, Bud as an accountant, and the Tibble twins as surgeons.
- The titular show has a tagline "Egad! The doctor has blivered!", which leads to Mr. Read saying, "Egad! The dad is mad!". Also, D.W. tries to make a tagline of gibberish.
Arthur's Perfect Christmas
- Binky keeps trying to make cookies or other desserts, but keeps making stupid mistakes like making banana bread but forgetting to peel the bananas. (writing) "Peel... bananas." This culminates with Binky appearing in a fantasy sequence in which Arthur being teased for being a doofus and he shows up and starts shouting, "Doofus! Doofus!"Arthur: Binky? What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be in this fantasy!Binky: Oh, sorry... Try my peach cobbler?Arthur: Get out!
- Buster falling asleep because his mom keeps thinking every day's Christmas and hence waking him up early. It ends up that he falls asleep at Muffy's party and faceplants into his cake slice; Arthur wakes him up and Buster goes "Is it Christmas again?" Arthur responds "No, and you have cake on your face."
- There's a radio ad for a toy D.W. wants, and of course the jingle in said ad drives Arthur crazy. About the third time we hear it in the special, Arthur and his family are in the car, and he gets fed up enough that he begs Mr. Read to put something else on. Cue Mr. Read popping in a Crazy Bus tape. Needless to say, Arthur's less than satisfied with that change.
- Throughout the special, Uncle Fred is depicted as a klutz, legendary for having broken Mrs. Read's toy set and when he arrives at the Read household taking out part of their fence. Then, randomly while the Read family is opening presents, we get this:Grandma Thora: And what does your brother Fred do, dear?Mrs. Read: He works in a china shop.
- Also, Uncle Fred's video Christmas card is this, both in-universe and out.
- Arthur's fantasy about Mrs. Read learning about him breaking his Christmas gift for her.Mrs. Read: Twice!? I can understand breaking my bird once, but twice?!Grandpa Dave: Dear, I hate to tell you this, but he's inherited the clumsy gene.Uncle Dave: He's even worse than me. (everyone gasps, Mrs. Read breaks down sobbing)
Arthur - It's Only Rock 'n' Roll
- This special brings us the audition scene. Among all of Arthur's friends, even D.W. wants to try out for Francine's band. When Arthur says the only song she knows is Crazy Bus, she retorts that it's for babies and knows "a million better songs." Cut to her in the bathtub...D.W.: (As quite the Dreadful Musician) Skinnamarinky dinky dink, skinnamarinky doooooo...I looooove you!(We then segue to the audition at Lakewood, with Francine having a complete Jaw Drop over how awful D.W.'s singing is)Francine: Thank you, that's enough! (D.W. doesn't stop singing) I said THANK YOU!D.W.: But I'm not finished! There's five more verses! (Even more off-key and to the top of her lungs) SKINNAMARINKY DINKY DINK, SKINNAMARINKY DO-Francine: (hits the gong) NEXT!D.W.: Hm! (To George) Be careful, it's a jungle in here.
- Also, the Running Gag of Mrs. MacGrady using her bizarre figures of speech and everyone having to decipher them.
The Rhythm and Roots of Arthur
- D.W.'s "I'm Bored" rap, as she gets bored and restless on the long car ride to her relatives' farm in Ohio.
- At the end of "The Origins of Arthur", Marc Brown decides to read Arthur one of his stories. The book he chooses? Arthur's Underwear.
- Arthur and Friends: The First Almost Live Not Real CD or Tape!
D.W.: Wacky, goofy, goony, screwy/Absolutely busalooey.
- D.W.'s three failed attempts to include "Crazy Bus" on the album, including the ending of the "Poetry Club" track.
Arthur: Hold it! Did you say "busalooey"?
D.W.: You're interrupting my poem.
Arthur: There's no such word, except in that song...
D.W.: You didn't say I couldn't read it. You just said
Arthur: NO "CRAZY BUS"!
Arthur: I could stay in this place for hours and hours.
- When D.W. finally gets it onto the album at the end, Arthur whines about it to Mrs. Read, but D.W. smugly tells him that it's too late because the album is ending and will shortly shut itself off.
- From the "Library Card" song...
Binky: I like books with pictures of lots of pretty flowers... being crushed by a giant pterodactyl!
Binky: With my night light, I dream of conquering a Cyclops, heh heh / A big one with three or four eyes.note
- Arthur's multiple Take Thats against the piano in "Arthur Vs. the Piano".
- Singing that he'd rather sit on cactus or play with D.W.
- "'Chopsticks', they call this tune/I'd rather use a spoon/I'd like to boil it in grease/This piece!"
- "The Happy Farmer" is happy 'cause he knows/He's growing beets and greens and squash and not some pianos!"
- The ending to "My Dog Pal" where Arthur's friends ask Arthur to sing his original song about Pal again.Arthur: If you want to hear it again, start the track over! I'm exhausted!
- From "My Night Light":
- Arthur's Perfect Christmas:
- There's a Running Gag of certain tracks being D.W. trying to sing traditional Christmas carols, but getting the lyrics flat wrong, for example, performing "What Child Is This?" as "What time is it / When the little hand / Is pointing at the umbrella stand? / Of all the things Santa brings / I hope one's a digital clock." The gag culminates in the third-to-last track of the album "O Tannenbaum"note in which she sings "O, tanning mom / O, tanning mom..." only for Arthur to cut her off and tell her that she can't sing anymore Christmas songs. She says it's fine with her. She doesn't see why people even like them, since they don't have anything to do with Christmas.
- Arthur's Really Rockin' Music Mix:
- From "I Don't Want to Wake Up"Oliver Frensky: All right, Franky. I'm not kidding now. Get up! Hey! She's pushed the bed up against the door! Francine!!!
- Pretty much the entirety of "Mrs. Wha-cha-ma-call-it," a song in the style of a psychedelic rock anthem performed by D.W. about the very first time that she took a telephone message. "Mrs. Wha-cha-ma-call-it called and said you have to meet her somewhere / She said everything will be ruined if you're late / Hurry on over there!" The song ends with D.W. singing that she'll just sit all day by the phone because she's so good at taking messages. Then the phone rings and she says she'll get it, followed by an exasperated but bemused sounding Mrs. Read responding "No, no, no, no, no. I'll get it."
- From "Fern's Detective Tango," Fern is trying to noodle out who wrote the "BINKY Rules!" graffiti, as seen in the episode by the same name.Fern: Buster was out playing ball / Muffy, in the classroom down the hall / Arthur wouldn't have the guts!Arthur: Hey!Fern: Binky!Binky: Yeah?Fern: J'accuse!
- In "Goldilocks and the Bears Trio as Told by Sue Ellen," D.W. has ditched out of Sue Ellen's play of Goldilocks because according to her the role isn't big enough for her talent. Buster is left to play the role, despite having already been cast as the wolf. Later...Buster: (with a bad German accent) Hello. I am Wolfgang!Sue Ellen: (moans) Hold it! You're Goldilocks!Buster: Yeah, but I was the wolf first. Does this mean I have to chase myself?
- From "I Don't Want to Wake Up"
The Official Website
- There's a game based on "Dear Adil", where you (as Arthur) can ask Adil questions. A few of the questions are based on some sort of ignorance or stereotype. It's actually kind of funny when Adil deconstructs them because he points out how nonsensical the questions are when you think about it and make them seem funny.Arthur: "Is it hot living in the desert?"Adil: "I suppose it would be hot, but I don't live in the desert and I never have. I live in the city."Arthur: "Do you listen to regular music or just snake charmer music?"Adil: "You do realise I live in Turkey, right? I think you're thinking of India, and I don't think even they have snake charmers anymore."Arthur: "Do you take your turban off before you shower?"Adil: "That seems like a weird question. I am Muslim, but not all Muslims wear turbans. I don't wear one. And of course people who do wear turbans take them off before showering-it would get all wet!"Arthur: "How did you learn to speak Turkish?"Adil: "Well, everyone around me speaks Turkish, so I guess I just...learnt it?"Arthur: "Have you ever seen someone make a carpet fly?"Adil: "That seems like a weird question. Like a magic show?"Arthur: "Do you have man-eating newts in Turkey?"Adil: "You mean like tiny lizards that eat people? There's no such thing."Arthur: "What kinds of weird foods do you eat at Turkey?"Adil: "What do you mean weird? I eat lots of good food."
- And one question that was not a stereotype or all that ignorant, but led to linguistic confusion.Arthur: "So, you live in Turkey. Do you EAT turkey on Thanksgiving?"Adil: "I don't know what 'turkey' is. Are you making a joke of some sort?"
- And one question that was not a stereotype or all that ignorant, but led to linguistic confusion.
- In "You've Got to be Kidding!", a character has a problem and can get advice from one of three others. The most logical option helps you progress through the game to get to the end, but the bad advice is pretty funny too.Arthur: I heard about the surprise party my friends planned for me. Should I pretend not to know?D.W.: Surprise them back. Don't show up.'''Arthur: That would be pretty mean spoiling their surprise party by not showing up. I ended up going late to my party. Maybe D.W. just doesn't want me to go to parties that she's not invited to!
- The Goldilocks game is hilarious:
- The game begins with the parent bear deciding the weather is too hot (if you make it sunny) or too cold (if you make it cloudy) and putting on a hat.
- The game has the option of choosing, instead of Goldilocks, Goldi-rocks (a punk girl who does funny things like call the cold food "bogus") or Goldi-fish (an anthropomorphic fish who makes a lot of fish puns). Even if you choose Goldilocks, it's still funny, since she's a Large Ham who sometimes sounds borderline Shakesperean in her dialogue.
- You have the option of replacing the chairs with train sets, that are too loud, too quiet, and just right.
- Baby Bear's chair/beanbag/train set breaks with a Wacky Sound Effect. Later, Goldilocks (or Goldi-rocks or Goldi-fish) is woken with another wacky sound effect.
- The Three Bears either sleep on waterbeds (which are "too wavy", "not wavy enough" and just right), hammocks, or couches.
- The bears initially don't notice that the food has been partly eaten, instead noticing that Mama or Papa Bear isn't home from work yet.
- Instead of growling you can make the bears laugh ("Joke's on her— there's an entire gingerbread house next door that she could've eaten!") or cry ("Last week, The Big Bad Wolf tried to blow our house down and now this?!")
- The moral of the story is cited as "Never break into a houseful of bears, even if you are hungry".
- In the book D.W.'s Guide to Preschool, D.W. explains that when people bring food to her preschool, she and her friends are each allowed "one thing" that they don't have to eat, her "one thing" being tomatoes. Later on in the book, she talks about how the teacher reads them storybooks and comments that so far there aren't any books for her that are like tomatoes because she loves them all. One can only imagine once she gets old enough to be able to start reading certain books (insert acceptable target of your choice here.)
Original 1981 Film:
- The entire movie is hilarious, but some lines stand out, most of them spoken by Arthur when he's particularly drunk.
- "I think I'll have another [scotch]; would you like another fish?"
- "Oh, you're a hedge."
- (Notices someone with a Nice Hat) "What a lovely... (continues walking, gets about five rows further) hat."
- When Arthur and Gloria arrive at the Plaza Hotel, he falls out of the car as soon as the door is opened for him. The fall is funny enough, but the fact that he thinks it's funny makes it even funnier. "Bitterman! I fell out of the car!"
- The morning after Arthur's date with Gloria, they're asleep in bed together...and suddenly Arthur starts hysterically laughing. In his sleep. (And taking this to a meta level, critic Pauline Kael theorized in her review that this is because "he's telling jokes in his dreams.")
- This exchange between Linda and her father.
- Ralph: I take it this bum will be calling you?Linda: Dad! He's a millionaire.Ralph: You have my permission to marry him.
- Any and all of Hobson's snarks, such as his advice to Linda for her and Arthur's first date: "Steal something casual." Also:
- Hobson: (to Linda) Thank you for a memorable afternoon, usually one must go to a bowling alley to meet a woman of your stature.
- Hobson: (wearing a ten gallon hat in bed) If I begin to die, please take this off my head. This is not the way I wish to be remembered.
- Hobson: Here, read this magazine. There are many pictures.
- Arthur: Hobson, do you know the worst part, the worst part of being me?Hobson: I should imagine your breath.
- Arthur: A hot bath is wonderful... Girls are wonderful!Hobson: Yes, imagine how wonderful a girl who bathes would be.
- Hobson: Thrilling to meet you, Gloria.Hooker: Hi.Hobson: Yes... You obviously have a wonderful economy with words, Gloria. I look forward to your next syllable with great eagerness.
- All the comments about the stuffed-and-mounted moose head on the wall at Burt's mansion (the director went on record as saying there were a dozen different takes of this scene, with Dudley Moore playing off the moose a different way each time).
- Arthur: You must have hated this moose.
- Susan: "A real woman could stop you from drinking." Arthur: "It'd have to be a real big woman."
- A great throwaway sight gag: the engagement party is so upper crust that a preteen boy not only sneaks a drink but follows it up with a spritz of the aerosol breath freshener he has in his pocket before he joins the dancing crowd.
- Susan's dad grabs a knife from the cheese in an attempt to kill Arthur and Linda.
- Arthur: (deliriously) He's taking the knife out of the cheese...do you think he wants some cheese?
- All of Arthur's speech announcing that the wedding has been called off.
- After a conversation with Hobson about being more responsible and looking after himself: "Would you just remove the half-naked business woman from the underside of my bed?"
- The table saw scene.
- The police officers knowing Arthur by name.
- Arthur's habit of people spotting from the bathtub and giving people hilarious descriptions.
- Susan punching Arthur in the face in the chapel after he decides not to marry her.
- After using candy as a euphemism for his alcohol addiction around a group of kids, a child asks Arthur if he means drugs. Or meth. Or crack.