A Wrong Insult Offence occurs when one character attempts to insult another and hurls what they think is an appropriate insult in the other character's face. The second character considers this and then calmly replies, listing all the reasons why that particular insult does not apply to them and helpfully suggesting a more appropriate insult they could use.
As a piece of characterization, this usually indicates that the insulted party does not take the insulter seriously. Alternatively, it could just indicate that the second party is a shocking pedant.
Bonus points if the insult they suggest is worse than the original one.
If someone objects to the spelling or grammar of the insult, but not the insult itself, that's You Make Me Sic.
- A frequent exchange in Spider-Man. At times he knows his enemies speak figuratively but merely wants to troll them:
- In the Fate/stay night fanfiction Happy Riniversary, Rin's Sitcom Archnemesis Luvia gets more and more angry when Rin and the narration repeatedly insult her Swedish heritage. Mostly because she's actually Finnish.
- A running gag in Back To Us has Chat Noir picking up the nickname "Whiskers" from Nino/Emerald Shell, despite his mask not having whiskers.
- Monsters, Inc.
Randall: Where is she, you little one-eyed crettin?
Mike: Okay. First of all, it's cree-tin. If you're gonna threaten me, do it properly.
- In Monster House, an elderly neighbour has a heart attack while trying to scare the Kid Hero DJ off his lawn, and DJ worries that he's responsible for the old man's death. His friend reassures DJ that he's not a murderer — after all, killing someone accidentally is called manslaughter.
- Shrek is an ogre; he wouldn't grind your bones for his bread.
Shrek: ...that would be a giant.
- From S.O.B.:
Polly Reed: You're gonna let that shyster on?
Dr. Irving Finegarten: I could sue you for calling me that, Polly! A shyster is a disreputable lawyer. I'm a quack!
- In Gran Torino, this exchange occurs between Walt and Sue, a spunky teenaged member of the Hmong family who'd moved in next door, concerning an old stereotype about Asians eating dogs:
Sue Lor: There's a ton of food.
Walt Kowalski: Yeah, well just keep your hands off my dog.
Sue Lor: No worries, we only eat cats.
- Die Hard: Hans Gruber claims to be a terrorist, but is later revealed to be after 600 million dollars worth of bearer bonds.
Mrs. McClane: After all your posturing, all your little speeches, you're nothing but a common thief.
Hans: I am an exceptional thief, Mrs. McClane. And since I'm moving up to kidnapping, you should be more polite.
- Robert Clayton Dean (Will Smith) in Enemy of the State, when he's called a "shyster" by his mob client:
Actually, I believe the slur "shyster" is generally reserved for Jewish attorneys. I believe the proper slur for someone like myself would be "eggplant".
- In the film Murder by Death, Milo Perrier objects to being called a Frenchie. He's a BELGIE!
- The Wicker Man (1973):
Sgt. Howie: It means that you, sir, are a pagan!
Lord Summerisle: A heathen, conceivably, but not - I hope - an unenlightened one.
- In Roxanne, (a setting-updated adaptation of Cyrano de Bergerac) C.D. responds to a man calling him "Big Nose" with a Long List of 26 better insults he could have given.
- In Spider-Man, J. Jonah Jameson resents being accused of slander.
JJJ: Slander is spoken; in print, it's libel.
- Porky's: A stupid racist high schooler taunts a Jewish high schooler by talking about "wanting to go fly a kite." The Jewish kid calmly explains that the word he's looking for is "kike."
- In Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1, when the villainous Bellatrix says that the heroic Dobby nearly killed her by saving his friends:
Dobby: Dobby never meant to kill. Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure.
- In Scream 4 when the killer calls Marnie he says of course she will die as "you're the Dumb Blonde with the big tits". She responds by saying she's a straight A student. She still gets killed though.
- In the first Sword of Truth book, a mob comes to Zedd's house intending to lynch him because he's a witch. He starts his dialogue with them by asking to clarify whether they want to kill him for sorcery, or simply demean him by calling him a girl.
- In David Eddings' Domes of Fire, Stragen takes the Styric Council to task for not being more proactive in the emerging crisis in Daresia. When one of the Councillors answers by calling him a bastard, he bears it no mind...because he literally is the illegitimate son of a nobleman. He then proceeds to point out he is also a swindler, murderer, and thief (since he is also the head of a thieves' guild): glibly implying that anything they could call him would not be insulting in the least.
- In the same book, Chancellor Oscagne takes offense at the Tamuls being referred to as "godless yellow dogs". The Tamuls have gods, thank you very much (given a couple of minutes he might be able to remember their names) and think of themselves as less yellow or beige and more "golden-skinned", because it's more flattering.
- In McAuslan in the Rough one of the pipe-sergeants is recalling a heroic predecessor; Piper Findlater, who earned a VC on the Afghan border when he stuck to his task under fire and wounded because, he said, he didn't want his regiment to be beaten by a pack of "beastly niggers". One of the listeners (quite enlightened for 1950s UK) complains that Findlater should not have said that, and the sergeant telling the story remarks "Nor he shouldn't, and you're right for once. They wass not niggers; they wass wogs".
- Alexis Carew: Alexis once responds to an Upper-Class Twit calling her a "stupid bitch" over comms by remarking to the bridge crew that "The very worst thing about being a woman in this Navy is that the insults are so very limited. You men get called all the imaginative ones."
- Now Blooms the Tudor Rose: Regarding the belief that Magnus Vasa is so Royally Screwed Up he thinks he's Jesus Christ:
The rumors are completely wrong. Magnus merely believes he's the prophesized First Horseman of the Apocolypse who rides a white horse and comes conquering and to conquer. He is deeply—DEEPLY—offended when people get it mixed-up.
- An unfortunate (yet utterly hilarious) example occurs in Fawlty Towers when the Major tells a story about how he took a woman to a cricket match, and she kept referring to the Indian players by the wrong racial slur.
- From Sherlock: "I'm not a psychopath, I'm a high-functioning sociopath. Do your research."
- The L Word: A group of hicks started harassing Jenny and her then-girlfriend, Max by asking if Max was "[her] faggot". Jenny's response was a taser and this bizarrely awesome Crosses the Line Twice example:
- Jenny: We're not faggots, we're dykes, you asshole!
- From The Thick of It:
Olly Reader: Malcolm, you're bullying me...
Malcolm Tucker: How dare you! How dare you! Don't you ever, ever call me a bully... I'm so much worse than that!
- In the Mike & Molly episode "Fish for Breakfast", Carl's latest girlfriend (who thought she was going to a party) calls Mike and Vince (Mike's mother-in-law's fiance) as "two gay guys eating a banana split". Mike protests that he hasn't had a bite of the banana split.
- On House, one of Wilson's ex-wives tells House that she named their yappy unpleasant dog Hector because the dog reminded her of House, and "Doctor Greg House" is an anagram of "Hector does go rug."
House: First, "Hector does go rug" is a lame anagram. You want a better one for "Gregory House"? "Huge ego. Sorry."
- iCarly: From "iStill Psycho":
Carly: Nora... YOU'RE A NUTCASE!
Nora: The proper term is "disturbed, lonely sociopath."
- While covering the Asiana Airlines Flight 214 crash on The Colbert Report, Stephen made mention of an incident in which the fictitious pilot names "Sum Ting Wong", "Wi Tu Lo", "Ho Lee Fuk" and "Bang Ding Ow" were broadcasted on the news.
Colbert: I don't care who confirmed these names! It is wrong! I mean, "Wi Tu Lo"? "Bang Ding Ow"? This is a Korean airline; those are Chinese names! That's racist, OK! And if you're going to do a racist joke, at least get the ethnicity right! Like Captain "Park Ma Plen Tu-Sun" or "Ha Yu Lan Dis Tang"!
- New Tricks: At the end of the pilot, Sandra refers to the boys as 'criminals'. They react with offence. She amends the insult to 'crooks'. This they can live with.
- Horrible Histories: Shakespeare is offended when the best that his opponent in a insult contest can do is "rogue" and "saucy knave". He proceeds to knock him out with a string of proper Shakespearean insults.
- Doctor Who: From "The Curse of Fenric":
Crane: Commander! Have some respect for the wheelchair! The man is an invalid!
Judson: I'm not an invalid! I'm a cripple!
- On an episode of Picket Fences a shock jock who was the focus of the episode has found his audience turning on him. One of them addresses him by epithets for a Jewish person, to which he replies, "I'm not even Jewish. If you want to slur me, call me a Kraut, you ignorant pig-farmer."
- Following an incident when a football supporter threw a banana at a black player, black comedian Nathan Caton did a monologue on The Now Show complaining about lazy racism. "I mean, if you threw a bottle of Reggae Reggae Sauce or a Nando's menu, I'd be offended, but I'd think you did some research!"
- Older Than Television: Cyrano de Bergerac has a very large nose, which a bit character insults by calling it "rather large". Cyrano's reaction is to tell him that it is, but "rather large" is an absolutely pathetic excuse for an insult and go on to tell him various better ways to insult him.
- The Wishbone version went with:
Cyrano: "Your nose is so big, you should call a doctor and have it amputated!" Or how about, "What do you keep in there, your pens or your whole writing desk?"
- Brian Hooker's translation of Rostand's version is awe-inspiring:
Cyrano: Oh, no, young sir, you are too simple. Why, you might have said a great many things: why waste your opportunity? For example, thus: Aggressive: "Ay, sir, if that nose were mine, I'd have it amputated on the spot!" Practical: "How do you drink with such a nose? You must have had a cup made especially." Descriptive: "'Tis a rock, a crag, a cape — a cape? Say rather, a peninsula!" Inquisitive: "What is that receptacle? A razor case or a portfolio?" Kindly: "Ah, do you love the little birds so much that when they come to see you, you give them this to perch on!" Cautious: "Take care! A weight like that might make you top-heavy!" Eloquent: "When it blows, the typhoon howls, and the clouds darken!" Dramatic: "When it bleeds ... the Red Sea." Simple: "When do they unveil the monument?" Military: "Beware! A secret weapon!" Enterprising: "What a sign for some perfumer!" Respectful: "Sir, I recognize in you a man of parts. A man of ... prominence!" Or, Literary: "Was this the nose that launched a thousand ships?" These, my dear sir, are things you might have said, had you some tinge of letters or of wit to color your discourse. But wit? Not so, you never had an atom. And of letters, you need but three to write you down: A, S, S. [helpfully, to the other's dumbfoundedness:] Ass!
- The Wishbone version went with:
- Saints Row: The Third. Phillipe Loren is not French, he is Belgian... And pushing this ends up becoming a BIG MISTAKE.
Boss: Ah damnit, I should have made a Belgian Waffle joke...
- Fallout 4. One of the sarcastic dialog options after searching through Kellog's home with Nick Valentine yields us this jewel:
Sole Survivor: What? The Clockwork Dick is stumped?
Nick Valentine: It's Synth Detective, jackass. If you're gonna be that way, you might as well get the make and model right.
- Pisha in Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines is a rare vampire who has to consume human flesh, which makes her pretty off-putting even to a regular vampire. A Malkavian player character might nickname her "Black Widow", in which case she takes no offense but explains how "Mantis" would be a better pejorative. As a Fully-Embraced Fiend well into her third century of unlife, she's worked out the existential angst long ago.
- In The Adventures of Dr. McNinja, when someone calls Doc a nurse as an insult, his response is to defend the nursing profession.
- Sticky Dilly Buns: Ruby learns her sister Amber has moved out of porn to regular acting.
Amber (with little icicles sprouting from her speech bubble): Made-for-TV.
- The Looney Tunes Show: In "That's My Baby'', Bugs calls Daffy 'a bummer' after he refuses to go to lunch with him and Porky. Daffy's response is "No. Porky's the bummer. I'm a jerk."
- In the Looney Tunes short "Muscle Tussel", Daffy takes offense at his girlfriend calling him a "scrawny little nine-pound weakling", because "I'm obviously a scrawny little ten pound weakling."
- Happens in Voltron where Allura insults the evil Prince Lotor and Lotor does feel insulted...but for the wrong reasons.
Allura: You're a monster, just like your father!
Lotor: That old fool?! Why, I'm twice the monster he is!
- Winx Club gives us this:
Mirta: You're mean!
Icy: Mean? Try diabolical!
- Kim Possible: This exchange from "Clothes Minded":
Shego: Huh, pretty impressive for a college reject.
Drakken: Hey! College dropout, Shego. They let me in, I let myself out.
- In an episode of Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated:
Villain: And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you interloping adolescents.
Fred: You mean "meddling kids".
- When King Charles II's mistress Nell Gwynn (originally an actress, and an Englishwoman) was mistaken for the Duchess of Portsmouth (another of Charles' mistresses, and a Frenchwomannote ), a crowd started calling her a Catholic whore and attacking her carriage. Nell stuck her head out and corrected the mistaken commoners, "Good people, you are mistaken. I am the Protestant whore." The crowds started cheering and escorted her carriage out of the area.
- When the Miami Dolphins were a successful football team in the 1980s and 90s, "Squish the fish" was a rallying cry of their rivals. Miami fans were quick to point out that dolphins are mammals.
- Anti-racist activist Tim Wise is known for saying that if you're going to be racist, at least be consistent: "I just don't want a moving target." For example, if you're going to say that Mexicans are lazy, don't also complain about illegal Mexican immigrants taking all the jobs.
- John Scalzi has described Christian celebrity Kirk Cameron as an ignorant bigot, saying he stands by this rather than calling him something more poetic like "pestilent toad" on the grounds that Cameron seems to be fairly clean and is definitely not an amphibian.