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WELCOME, ladies, gentlemen, and tropers, to Darth Wiki's Favorite Game Show...

WARP... THAT... AESOP!!!!!

Animated Film Round! Ready.... GO!


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     General 
  • In General:
    • If a protagonist had no love interest in the first film, and if the sequel confirms there will be a new character of the opposite gender (especially if they're the same species), they will be the love interest. No exceptions.
    • The protagonist is always hot/cute. If he/she isn't, it's a plot point.
    • In case you can't tell who the main character is, it's the one with the American accent. Ditto the love interest.
      • And if the protagonist doesn't have an American accent, it's heavily emphasized in the film that it's set in the specific place where the accent comes from.
    • Kids born in the 21st century won't watch movies with more than one word in their title. Especially if a multi-word title is in any way feminine.
    • Parents are supposed to be perfect. Parents who make stupid/misguided mistakes, but well-meaning are bad parents who need their children taken away by CPS.
  • Almost all kids' films about dogs:
    • Everyone who isn't that dog's owners are evil quasi-Nazis who want that mutt dead for no explicable reason.
    • Also applies to The Fox and the Hound, though in this case it's a fox.
    • If you don't like dogs, there's something wrong with you.
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     Pixar 
  • Brave:
    • You should follow the path in life set out for you by your parents. Attempting to pave your own destiny only leads to disaster.
    • Firstborns should always want behave the way their parents want them to be, rather than allow them to be themselves.
    • When you're trying to manipulate a loved one into changing so you can have your way, remember to be specific on how they should be changed. But, if things do go awry, spending some awkward bonding time with the person you've just screwed over will ensure that they'll see things your way.
    • If a teenage girl wants to save the day, needlework is a more important skill than archery.
    • Make deals with witches who demonstrate weird obsessions. You will get exactly what you want by the movie's end.

  • Cars:
    • It doesn't matter how successful you become, because the love and respect you get from all your fans and peers is hollow and meaningless, and all those awards and achievements you gain are worthless.
    • Forget your dreams and happiness living in the big city. Pack up and move out to little inbred towns in the middle of nowhere because their survival is culturally more important.
    • Celebrities live meaningless lives and have lost their way. Feel free to humiliate, enslave, mutilate them, and indoctrinate them so that they feel like they are a part of your small close-knit community.
    • Outdated state routes that are too narrow to accommodate modern amounts of traffic and go miles out of their way to "follow the land" are somehow more "natural" than modern interstate highway systems that take a more direct route between major population centers, thus allowing people (sorry, cars; there are no people) more quickly and while burning less fossil fuel.

  • Cars 2:

  • Coco:
    • When the relationship is over and your heart is broken, this means everything that person ever did is evil. Whatever skills and talents they happen to have can't be used for good by anyone in any way. So, get rid of every trace of it in your life. Make sure your descendants don't have anything to do with it either, and even enforce your ban on perfect strangers.
    • Pop stars are all murderous, selfish, backstabbing monsters. Never ever try to profit from your talents and passions.
    • It doesn't matter who you are or if your family detests your interests, as long as you have true passion for it, work hard and- oh no, wait. Scratch that. The only way to be truly talented is to have it in your blood, like being related to someone who was skilled in that field.
    • Your ancestor was an evil, backstabbing murderer? Don't worry, you're not related to him. Huh? You thought I was gonna say you can keep moving on knowing you're the descendant of someone evil because you are not him? Pfft, don't be silly. Bad people only produce bad people and vice versa. Don't be related to bad people.
    • The way to convince your family to lift the music ban is to play them a song.

  • Finding Nemo:
    • Hey kids! Are your parents overprotective and keeping you from having any fun? Just put yourself in a really dangerous situation that they'll have to save you from. After that, said parent will totally realize you can take care of yourself!
    • Sharks can go vegetarian if they want to.

  • The Incredibles:
    • Some people are just inherently better than others. Trying to be better than you really are is evil.
    • Augmenting yourself with technology to overcome your shortcomings is evil. If you can't fly, you aren't meant to be in the sky. If you can't walk, you aren't meant to move under your own power.
    • It's good to have a few people who just happen to have super powers. Wanting to level the playing field is evil.
    • If saving the world breaks anything, especially a SUICIDAL human's bones, you'd be crazy not to sue the people who contained the damage.
    • Super villains will obey the law, having laws against super powers makes the world ordinary instead of leaving super villains and having super heroes out of commission.
    • A smug one-liner covers any problems with your saving methods. ("I think you broke something!"/"With counseling, I'm sure you'll come to forgive me.")
    • If cheating comes naturally to you, then it is justified.
    • If you use your own natural abilities, but they're more than someone else's, it constitutes "cheating". Einstein was cheating by using his big show-off-y brain. Michael Jordan cheats with his obviously unfair athletic ability. Mariah Carey cheats with her better-than-average singing skills. Get those cheaters out of here so we can get the playing field down to the lowest level!
    • Death to the snarky! Your sarcasm arises from pure evil.
    • If you use superhuman abilities in a world full of existing supervillains without government or spousal permission it is still seen as illegal and or immoral. Even if the situation is life or death.
    • A wife's personal wishes are more important then the needs of an entire city of endangered citizens for a superhuman to save them. And basically to that superheroing is seen by the heroes' wives as similar to going out for a rowdy night of drinking with friends so its just "fooling around" to them.
    • This one's for the teenage girls: Once you've realized how cool it is to be better than everyone else (see first Aesop), it's time to use that new found confidence to... dress and act EXACTLY like everyone else!
    • If you're born different from others, you must ALWAYS stay different from others. Do not attempt in any way to fit in your peers, even if that's what you always wanted. Either stand out like a sore thumb in the crowd, or hide away from it whether you like it or not. Gifted people like you must NEVER mix with normal people.
    • Pausing your attempt to stop a rampaging menacing mechanical monstrosity while it wreaks havoc, untold damage and takes life after life is A-O-K if you're having a tender moment with a spouse that ends in a kiss.
    • Heroes are supposed to stop bad guys, not help their victims. That old woman can pick her own self up by her bootstraps.
    • If you can bench press a Mack Truck its okay to punch a normal human as hard as you can after "He got away."
    • Putting thumbtacks on people's chairs is just good-natured childhood pranksterism.
    • Be careful how you treat your fans. Even if they stalk you, annoy you and bother you on your missions. Otherwise they will come back for revenge by killing a lot of your friends and attempting to murder your family members.
    • Young children with fancy weapons and no crime fighting experience will potentially make good sidekicks. You're a complete bastard for not taking an inexperienced child under your wing.
    • Brutally slaughtering people that aren't disabled is clearly the best way to support people who are. And then capitalize on their disability when you're done with all the murder!
    • Incredibles 1 & 2: let's just call it like it is, inventors and techno experts are evil people who plot in the name of megalomania.

  • Inside Out:
    • You can only be happy and optimistic all the time up to a certain age. As soon as you start pushing adolescence, either circumstances or the little people running around in your head will force you on the road to being a depressed teen.
    • Women are more empathetic than men, so you better believe all those gender stereotypes.
    • If you remember anything from your childhood, forget it. And fast. If you can't let go of those nostalgic memories, you're an immature kid who wont let herself grow up into an adult.
    • You have no control over your emotions, it's controlled by little people in your head.
    • The only negative emotion you should feel is "sadness". Being angry, scared, or disgusted will only lead to disaster.
    • Crying a bit will solve all your problems, and you'll be excused out of any punishment, even if you stole your mom's credit card, skipped school and almost ran away from home.
    • So, you have two loving parents, who are rich enough to afford a fairly sizable place in San Francisco where even a studio apartment would be more than $10,000 a month, and your own room? And the pizza there all has broccoli on it? It is perfectly understandable to be depressed and want to run away from home under those dire circumstances.

  • Monsters, Inc.: The monsters in your closet just work for a federal utility company, so in essence, they are bureaucrats. All the more reason to be afraid of them.
    • Perfectionism is bad and you should feel bad.

  • Monsters University:
    • Don't even try to pursue your dream job. You're most likely not fit for it, because the judgement you make on yourself in this regard is always unreliable.
    • Straight A's? Fuck 'em! You're not getting anywhere without an appealing appearance!

  • Ratatouille: All your dreams can come true as long as you're willing to lie, disappoint your family, and use other people to your selfish whims. The minute you stop doing this, things are going to go downhill fast. (Sadly, more Truth in Television).

  • Toy Story:
    • Customizing your action figures makes you evil.
    • Take good care of your toys, because if you don't, they'll find out.
    • You should accept that you're getting replaced, and if you have any kind of objections about it, you're just a whiny crybaby who should embrace the fact you're no longer being valued.

  • Toy Story 2:
    • Placing antique toys on display and not giving them to a child to play with and ruin is wrong. Antique collectors are evil.
    • If you dare grow out of playing with toys and move on to other things, you are damning your favorite toys (who are alive and have real emotions) to a life of misery and neglect. You must keep playing with them forever.
    • Giving your unused toys away to charity is just about the most horrible thing someone could do.

  • Toy Story 3:

  • WALL•E
    • Humans are obese, stupid, lazy slobs and only a robot is capable of feeling compassion towards living things as well as concern for the future of the earth.
    • Consumerism is bad, but not when it means you buying our products. WALL•E dolls are on sale now!
    • Inanimate objects designed for the disposal of garbage have emotions too — even if they show no evidence of it beyond the occasional electronic smile — and anyone who says differently is evil. The only exception to this is inanimate objects who look like HAL 9000, who can be killed whenever you like.
    • Technology makes us fat, lazy and unable to appreciate our lives, each other and our surroundings, except when it's used to make cute robots. Also, giving up all that technology to built up a new society essentially from scratch on a planet that has thus far proven to have sustained exactly one plant is a brilliant idea, even if the captain's few-hour read through 700-year-old Wikipedia entries on plants is the only farming experience your society has.
    • Hey kids, feel free to continue your life of generating trash. Because in 100 years we will be able to get cute robots to clean up earth and then everything will be fine again eventually.
    • Mobility aids will lead to the downfall of humanity.

     Other Animated Film 

  • The Adventures of Mark Twain: Assist in an old man's suicide and you'll get to go on a cool adventure and inherit all his awesome belongings.

  • All Dogs Go to Heaven:

  • An American Tail:
    • Cats only eat meat because they're mean. They could live off vegetables if they really wanted to.
    • We should deport every criminal gang in America to Hong Kong.
    • It's good to make kids disillusioned with America at an early age.
    • Never give up and you'll accomplish your goals, but only after being driven to near-suicidal depression first.

  • An American Tail: Fievel Goes West:
    • Hey, young girls! Don't show any personal ambition, or you'll be lying to yourself and ignoring family members in need!
    • Dancing with the man who's plotting to kill your family and everyone you know is romantic.
    • Hey guys! If your girlfriend dumps you because of who you are, you should change your entire personality (maybe even your species) to suit her fancy so she'll take you back!
    • The song "Way Out West": Hooray for Manifest Destiny! Move out west, it's not like it was populated before we Europeans got here.
    • Native Americans practice silly religions and will start worshiping you if you resemble a random rock they live near.

  • An American Tail: The Treasure of Manhattan Island:

  • Anastasia
    • Historical accuracy is completely irrelevant to a movie about historical events... again.
    • The only reason that anyone would try to overthrow an absolute monarchy is because the usurper is an evil, undead sorcerer.
    • Who cares about social and economic conditions, revolutions are triggered by the Devil!
    • If you get gunned down along with your family, and if you're important enough, on the bright side maybe 80 years later someone will make a musical animated movie out of it. Only about 30 years left until we get an animated JFK musical where Lee Harvey Oswald was actually an agent of the devil and JFK lived! Oh goody!
    • Do the right thing. Karma will get you laid.
    • Communism is wrong because it made the pretty princess cry!

  • Asterix Conquers America: The women who understand you the best are the ones who don't speak your language.
    • In general; you should rely all your self-defense against the Roman Empire on a really old guy who can make magic potions, and whom who refuses to share his secret recipe with anyone else. After all, it's not like he's going to die soon. Screw plan B!
      • And if you happen to face the consequences of when the old guy is temporarily gone from the village, but get saved by the end by said old guy and his friends, you should not consider thinking up reserve plans so it doesn't happen again.
    • Want to cross the Atlantic Ocean? A small fishing boat or a canoe is all you need!

  • A Troll in Central Park: You don't have to work towards your dreams, you just need to dream more!

  • The Brave Little Toaster:
    • Inanimate objects are completely sentient, so if you forget about them or stop using them they will suffer from your neglect. Don't you dare throw any of them out, either, because abandoning them will ruin their life and they will end up completely miserable. And if you dare take anything apart, you are mutilating living beings and inducing traumatic Body Horror on them. I hope you're happy....sick fuck.
    • Garbage dumps are like concentration camps for cars and other objects.
    • Treat your inanimate plastic objects molded into humanoid shapes nicely, or they'll come to life and rise up against you.

  • The Book of Life: Your dad will only ever respect your life choices and who you are when he's DEAD.

  • Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie: Hey kids, if you take a sip of some liquidized radioactive cafeteria leftovers, you'll gain super powers instantly.

  • Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs:

  • Corpse Bride:
    • You'll never make it with a woman who's more interesting than you. Stick to the girl who's just as boring as you are, especially if you were forced into marrying her in the first place.
    • Then again, even rotting, worm-infested cadavers manage to be more interesting than you. Not to mention livelier.
    • Necrophilia is awesome.
    • Attracted to a guy who another girl likes, too? Don't even bother trying to pursue a relationship with him, because you're stealing the other girl's opportunity to be happy. After all, everyone only gets one chance at true love. First person you dated didn't work out? Maybe you'll get to Ascend to a Higher Plane of Existence, but forget about, you know, having a meaningful romantic relationship with anyone else.
    • There's no real point to actively seeking-out a compatible bride for yourself. Statistically, you're almost certain to end-up marrying multiple women with whom you will get along just fine through random chance alone! Within the space of a single day, no less!

  • Delgo: After learning that racism is bad, make sure to exterminate other races that you deem a threat to your homeland.

  • Despicable Me 2:
    • Just realize it; a family can never be complete or happy without a mother.
    • Even after you've pulled a Heel–Face Turn, it's still okay to be mean and rude to people you don't like.
    • Instead of keeping a secret formula in your safe, keep a jar of dip of said formula in your safe! It's not like it's going to get old or anything.
    • Take your first vague impression of a person and go with it. You'll eventually turn out to be right.

  • Eight Crazy Nights:
    • Helping out your community is all about receiving a meaningless award.
    • You too can get out of a well deserved prison sentence just by calling everyone out for mistreating somebody to a far lesser extent than you did.
    • It's fine to be a sociopathic jerk to everyone as long as you have a super generic tragic backstory to justify it.

  • FernGully: The Last Rainforest:
    • Every living creature on Earth deserves a habitat to call its own—except of course for humans.
    • Vorarephilia is a perfectly acceptable topic for song lyrics.
    • Nature = good; man = Hitler.
    • As long as human logging operations don't release the Eldritch Abomination with the sexy voice, there's nothing to worry about since the rainforest is home to magical fairies that can grow the trees back quickly.
      • Don't worry about the environment. The fairies can fix it.
    • You don't need to add any facts or reason in an environmentalist movie as long as you make humanity look evil or stupid for doing whatever they do.
    • Pollution is sexy and sounds like Tim Curry.
    • Trees have nervous systems and can therefore feel pain.

  • Food Fight
    • Thanks to Brad, Phelous and Lupa. If you purchase generic store products over brand name products, then you support the Nazis!
    • It's perfectly normal to become depressed over the tragic loss of a bag of chips.
    • It doesn't matter if you're acting out of jealousy or if you're somewhat justified by your action. You're ugly, you're irredeembly evil.

  • Hotel Transylvania: If you're young and have never set foot outside your childhood home, the first person you meet outside of your parent's friends will be your One True Love. You should decide to be with them forever (literally forever, because you're immortal) in the space of a few days, leaving the responsibility to make an important decision to someone who has never had contact or experience with the outside world and relationships, all this in a short period of time of a few days to decide. Therefore your partner will die long before you, which on a vampire time scale, you would only be with him a few days, since your time scale is much greater (immortal). You will know this because you will feel sad if he go away. If you miss out on this opportunity, you will never, EVER meet anyone you could ever love again, so don't even try.

  • Kung Fu Panda:
    • The best way to teach an overweight person kung fu is to tease him with food.
    • Everyone gets one chance at redemption. If they let go of that chance, they deserve to die.
    • The worst mistake a heroic martial artist can make is to care about the opponent.
    • If someone wants to try and improve themselves, they should be mocked and abused for it.
    • Unless you're The Chosen One, your hard work doesn't matter jackshit.
    • Fat people make the best kung fu fighters.

  • The LEGO Movie:
    • If you are not a fan of crossovers, you are an uncreative person who needs to be punished.
    • This also applies to you if you prefer to follow instructions when building something.
      • Alternatively, if you have no imagination or natural talent for architecture, you're a boring, stale person, and possibly an idiot.
    • Go ahead and mess with things that belong to your parents. And if they get angry at you for it, they are the bad guys.

  • The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part:
    • Actions don't speak louder than words when people wants to prove to others that they are good people.
    • Even after playing a big part in saving the world, you still won't be taken as seriously as your friends are.
    • If you keep your LEGOs in storage bins, you have no imagination.
    • Keep your negative emotions to yourself if you don't want to end up like an Omnicidal Maniac.
    • Attacking a city, kidnapping, manipulating someone into marrying you and not doing anything to find your missing friend doesn't make you a bad person and if someone thinks you are bad for it, they are wrong.

  • Megamind:
    • A kid can grow up in prison and become a perfectly sweet kid, however send him to school for a couple months and he'll become evil.
    • Keep our children out of school. Support their prison fund.
    • Being a hero consists solely of cleaning up your own mistakes and nothing else.
    • The one you think is a hero is actually a self-centered jerk who hates saving your life. The one you should rely on is the guy who's taken over the city and made you his slave. Also, never give nerds (like Hal) power because it turns them evil.
    • If you want to abandon your responsibilities, just fake your death! There will be no long lasting negative consequences for doing this whatsoever.
    • If you have saved the town, all of those 88 life sentences you had will be lifted and forgotten. Redemption is easy.

  • Monsters vs. Aliens: If you see your bride in her dress on her wedding day before you're supposed to, an energy ball will fall from the sky and make her giant. It's bad luck, you know?
    • Feel free to make a kid's movie about your giantess fetish, as long as all the resulting DTV specials focus on the goofy side characters to drive away suspicion.

  • Mr. Peabody & Sherman: Social workers are nothing but sadists who want to break up families.

  • The Nightmare Before Christmas: Bored with your job? Tough. If you even attempt to try something new and exciting, even just once, you'll make a huge mess of it. Best to just do what you were born to do.

  • Once Upon a Forest:
    • Need to go on a long, treacherous and possibly life-threatening journey for the single plant that can cure a terminally ill little girl, which only grows on the steep, rocky face of a hundred foot cliff? Just send a group of inexperienced kids who've never left home before to do it for you, they'll be fine.
    • Placing your shirt over your mouth can protect you from poisonous gas.
    • Comatose people can't wake up until they feel your tears fall on their face.
    • A prototype to a new technology that took a scholar months, if not years, to build can be perfectly built at full size by a few young children who've had absolutely no prior training.
    • When breaking the news to a child that their parents just died in a disaster, immediately divert their attention by discussing whether or not the environment will recover from the disaster.
    • Badgers are the size of mice and other small rodents.

  • Over the Hedge: Stealing is a-ok as long as you don't take more than you need! Or, stealing is okay so long as you steal from people who have too much of it anyway.

  • ParaNorman:

  • Ratatoing:
    • If you want to be successful, you have to steal from others. Oddly appropriate, as the film itself is a Mockbuster.
    • Have your competitors found out that your "trade secret" is just stealing food, and are now trying to keep you from doing it? They're evil and deserve to be sent to an animal testing lab.
    • A single ingredient is enough to sustain your restaurant for a week.
    • Cooking is easy. Just throw everything into a pot and stir.

  • Rise of the Guardians:

  • Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer:
    • It's only okay to make fun of people if they serve no useful purpose to you.
    • If you're different, you'd better get used to it. You'll never fit in, and if they find something for you to do... shut up and be grateful for it.
    • Alternately, if you're different you'd better find a damned use for your yourself otherwise nobody will ever like you.

  • Sausage Party:
    • Being R-rated means that every other sentence must contain excessive swearing.
    • Monogamy is for chumps; slutty orgies is where it's at!
    • Foods are fully sentient beings. Even if you need to eat them to survive, stop doing it, you sick fuck.
    • Drugs is the path to true wisdom.

  • Shark Tale:
    • Don't aim higher in life, just accept your thankless dead end job, otherwise you will just get all your friends into big trouble.
    • Lying to everyone about being the hero has no negative consequences as long as you admit it during the film's climax.
    • If it turns out that you can fight monsters and defend your hometown after all, just tell everyone that you were lying the whole time.
    • It's evil for sharks to eat fish, they can just go vegetarian. What, they was a happy ending? Then sharks should be allowed to eat any sentient fish they want, as long as they just avoid one particular reef.

  • Shrek:
    • Ugly people deserve love too... but only from other ugly people. If a hot girl falls for an ugly guy, she must have something seriously wrong with her.
    • Judging people or harassing them for their outward appearance is bad. Mocking the reigning monarch of the land for being short, however, is perfectly fine.
    • Forcing friendships will work out in your favor.
    • It's okay to forcibly invite yourself to people's lands without clarifying it with the owner.

  • The Simpsons Movie: People who want to save the environment are all evil, genocidal lunatics.

  • Sing: It's perfectly reasonable and non-oppressing to pick your contestants based on their height rather than their actual talent.

  • South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut: Always go through drastic measures to protect children from toilet humour, even if it means starting a war and dooming the Earth.
  • Starchaser: The Legend of Orin:
    • If a girl is giving you lip, just sexually harass her. Then she will be a lot more docile.

  • Strange Magic:
    • The boy trying to slip you a chemical substance to change your opinion on him is your true love.
    • Falling in love with the guy who kidnapped your sister is a great idea.

  • The Swan Princess:
    • Being attracted to each other because of looks and looks only is the essence of True Love.
    • Matchmaking your daughter with another queen's son is a-okay, even if they completely hate each other. If they don't like each other in the end, it's their fault, and not yours for trying to hook them up in the first place.
    • If your girlfriend breaks up with you, just hope she'll get kidnapped and turned into a Baleful Polymorph. This will make her instantly forget your mistakes and be eager to reunite with you as if nothing had happened.
    • Instead of using your powers to start your own kingdom or to take another one over, hold a pathetic grudge against an old king and keep trying to take his kingdom.
  • Titan A.E.: If a species gets their entire planet blown up, it's what they deserve for their past mistakes. Show them no pity.
    • It's always a good idea to entrust your child with an important map that leads to where you hid your pet project. Sure, he'll likely be hunted by those who're trying to destroy said pet project, but who cares he's the only one who can read the map.
    • Nobody wears underwear in the future.
  • We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story:
    • Science (as in mutated dinosaurs) is good, where as nature (real dinosaurs) is sick and wrong.
    • People who like scary things do not deserve to be entertained. Horror-based entertainment is bad, and getting rid of it will show those who enjoy it the error of their ways.
    • If you have the ability to kill a villain who tortures and brainwashes people, you shouldn't, because it's not very nice. Instead, you should submit to his demands and join him.
    • If a predatory animal has just broken free and shows every indication of being about to eat someone you should run over to that animal while shouting loudly. It won't get you eaten, it'll make that animal nice!
    • You have a powerful timeship, a huge stockpile of cereal that permanently raises the intelligence of any living creature, and a magical radio that lets you listen to the wishes of children. Naturally, this means that you should drop off some intelligent dinosaurs in the early 1990s and hope that they help two alienated kids. Don't bother curing world hunger or anything.
    • The only wish any child anywhere in the world has is the desire to see living dinosaurs.
    • Let's not forget: It is not ok to run a carnival full of freaks and demons, but it is perfectly ok to drop living dinosaurs with an enhanced intelligence into the middle of New York City without explaining anything to them about how the world has changed. Secondly, Spiderman parade balloons can momentarily withstand the massive girth of a T rex that jumps on top of them and remain afloat as long as said T-rex is singing a catchy song while doing so.


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