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WELCOME, ladies, gentlemen, and tropers, to Darth Wiki's Favorite Game Show...

WARP... THAT... AESOP!!!!!

[Catchy Theme Song plays]

Hello! Hello! How are you all doing today? How are the kids?

All right, you all know how to play the game! Contestants will take a piece of media... and, through a number of deliberate misunderstandings, a few Alternate Character Interpretations, taking some things out of context, assuming that everything presented was meant to be taken as instructional and serious, and reading in more than a little Fanon, make it seem like the creators were attempting to deliver a terrible, terrible message to the kids at home... no matter how utterly off-base it is!

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But, before we begin, let's just go over the three rules of the game, shall we? Rule #1! Make sure to read the above paragraph before adding a example. Rule #2! This is not Headscratchers with a sarcastic tone, and if you think it is, Get Out!. And, last but not least, rule #3! This page is Just for Fun, serious attempts at finding a Family-Unfriendly Aesop, and Real Life examples will be purged. Oh, and remember, folks, Whining costs twenty million points, so there's that.

...and whatever you do, don't change the channel to Sugar Wiki for Sweeten That Aesop. And don't mix this show up with Things We Have Learnt from Media — that's just facts, this show is about 'truths' and principles.

Ok, now that we've got all of that out of the way, first to 10,000 points gets an extra lifenote , a copy of our Home Game, and Rice-A-Roni, the San Francisco treat!

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Round One! Ready.... GO!



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    Art 
In-General
  • True Art Is Ancient.
  • True Art Is Angsty.
  • True Art Is Boring.
  • True Art Is Incomprehensible.
  • The only thing that determines artistic genius is if enough people say it does. Actual adherence to the fundamentals of art has nothing to do with it. On the other hand, once enough people with degrees say a work is good, or that a work is bad, no one is allowed to disagree with that sentiment, ever.
  • All artistic movements were given pejorative names by people who irrationally hate them, yet fail to explain themselves, or actually say that the movement sucks. Never mind that exactly the same criticisms were made at the critics when they were younger.
Movements
  • History painting: You’re being patronized by nobles and the Church, so make nothing but propaganda.
  • Neoclassicism: Only Ancient Grome is allowed.
  • Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood: Paint the same woman over and over, just in different costumes.
  • Academic art: People in the future will hate you for no reason, despite the quality of your work.
  • Impressionism: Screw you, proper technique!
  • Post-Impressionism: Impressionism wasn’t that great, but we’re gonna continue everything silly about it.
  • Fauvism: Screw you, color theory!
  • Cubism: Screw you, anatomy!
  • Expressionism: Screw you, coherency!
    • Abstract expressionism: Let’s all make art a child could do, and say it’s great.
  • Primitivism: Non-whites sure are stupid, huh?
  • Naive art: Amateurs sure are stupid, huh? And even though we used to be no better, let’s mock them by making bad art on purpose!
  • Dadaism: Anything you pick up from the dump can be art if you sign your name on it. Screw you, intellectual property laws!
  • Surrealism: Screw you, making sense!
  • Modern art: Screw it, anything goes. Even if it has no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

Art

  • The Mona Lisa: National icons can only be forged from attempted theft.

Artists

  • Banksy: Vandalism is legal if it makes you famous.
  • Jackson Pollock: You can literally throw anything on a canvas and become a national and artistic icon in the process.

    Asian Animation 
  • Motu Patlu: Eating a ton of snack food will always solve all your problems.
  • Noonbory and the Super 7:
    • Weaponize your allergies.
    • If someone wants to join your clique, deny them every chance you get, because they're not worthy. Don't even help them to be more like you and your friends, because it takes a long time.
    • "Wangury and the Windbike": Assault via dragging someone around by their tongue is a justifiable retribution for stealing a bike.
  • Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf: Trying to feed your family is an act that is evil. Not only is it evil, it will also result in you failing and being injured.

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