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Glurge Addict

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Kristoffer: ...And know this, as the swallow twittered beneath the eaves, this is not adieu, but au revoir!
Finur: Thanks for your words. May they be your last. Thanks for sentimentality so nauseating that no living creature could possibly take it seriously.
Ravn: ... *SOB!*

Most people dislike Glurge as overly trite and sentimental garbage incapable of truly plucking at the heart strings. Most people— meaning there are exceptions.

Let's have one of those exceptions in the cast! This person loves to collect motivational posters of kittens, cries over every sad story spam email, and adores anything and everything cutesy. They will probably gush over the nearest glurge positive item or animal nearby, and will baby talk to it. A few Glurge Addicts who are aware of their condition will actively hide their hobby from friends and family out of embarrassment.

Glurge Addicts are surprisingly positive people (even if they happen to be Smug Snake villains). Even if they aren't nice they're always smiling and encouraging others to do the same. This incessant optimism is sure to quickly get on other people's nerves. If it's a strong enough addiction, it also serves as a possible Flaw Exploitation for these characters in the form of a Kitsch Collection that can be broken or added to as a threat or bribe, respectively.

If two Glurge Addicts start dating, the result is Sickeningly Sweethearts. If they have kids, and the kids start a wiki, they name it Sugar Wiki (which tries to avoid being Glurge).


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    Anime and Manga 
  • Ouran High School Host Club's Suou Tamaki fits this pretty well. He's easily moved to tears by heartfelt or tragic stories, or just by looking at Haruhi whom he fawns and gushes over pretty much every chance he gets. She finds his fawning quite annoying, though. Despite Tamaki's sad past he's very optimistic and urges those around him to see the glass half full, rather than half empty.
  • Fullmetal Alchemist: Alex Louis Armstrong has all the hallmarks of one, including the Manly Tears.
  • Parodied by Kumagawa in Medaka Box, crying tears of joy that someone is reforming him and setting him on the right path when really he's beaten to death lying in a pool of his own blood then thanking his friends for saving him when they just broke his arms. He's always smiling. Note this is not his real personality and it is post Heel–Face Turn.

    Films — Live-Action 
  • The Boss Of It All. Ravn in the opening quote had the Glurge precipitate a nervous breakdown because was going to cheat his employees out of money and a job by selling to Finur.
  • Little Shop of Horrors has Audrey. She has a stuffed puppy on her bed, and other cute decorations around her room.
  • Mega Records CEO Fiona from the Josie and the Pussycats movie.
  • Misery has Annie Wilkes. She is a Liberace-loving, ceramic penguin owning, romance novel addict who doesn't like it when people swear. She's also keeping her favorite author hostage and does such things as shatter his ankles so he can't escape. Also she was a Serial Killer during her nursing days.
  • DodgeBall: Kate, the serious lawyer-type, has a rather large collection of unicorn tchotchkes.
  • Selina Kyle starts out as one of these in Batman Returns.


    Live Action TV 
  • Shirley from Community loves all things sugary-sweet, so much so that her stated reason she's at Greendale is to start a dessert bakery. She also has rage issues and loves to gossip.
  • JD from Scrubs. When he becomes a teacher, his favourite pupil Lucy Bennett takes over the role of 'wipes away a tear while applauding the saccharine speech' girl.
  • Synclaire from Living Single. She's generally extremely optimistic, emotional, and sunny (as well as sensitive and a bit immature), to the point where her friends are surprised to hear her say "I'm mad as H!" She particularly loves Troll dolls, and owns a gigantic Troll doll named "Crispus Attucks" that her friends find particularly unnerving. Her boyfriend/eventual husband, Overton, has these moments as well - usually when he's in close proximity to Synclaire.

    Visual Novels 

    Web Comics 
  • Joyce from Roomies! is possibly the only being in the Galaxy who does not see an endless loop of The Sound of Music as torture.
  • Piffany in Nodwick is a bit of a glurge addict. She has a mock beanie baby collection, never swears (instead saying things that would make Curse of The Ancients laugh) and is always upbeat.
  • Mrs. Merriweather, of Angel Moxie. Also a Misplaced Kindergarten Teacher... and an evil demon. The addiction to Glurge is still an honest one though!
  • In Starslip, Vanderbeam's discovery that his crush Jovia had a "Hang in there" kitten poster led him careening down a path of desperate speculation as he tried to figure out if she was genuinely one of these, or if she had some ironic, intellectual interest in it. Her explanation that she just thought it was cute and felt she should be allowed to turn off her brain now and again didn't satisfy him.

    Web Original 

    Western Animation 
  • King of the Hill:
    • Hank Hill's mom became addicted to Hummel figurines to cope with her abusive husband.
    • And Reverend Stroup's snow angels!
  • The Simpsons
    • Marge Simpson's Glurge Addict status is her love of kitten motivational posters. Even if they eventually fall.
      Just Hang In There, Marge. Just Hang In There.
    • Ned Flanders. This was tested when he moved to the disgustingly cute town of Humbel, which was a parody of the above Hummel figurines. It was too oppressive even for Ned, and it actually demonstrates the difference between a sympathetic and unsympathetic Glurge Addict; Ned loves glurge, but is capable of accepting people for their faults. The townsfolk of Humbel weren't able even to accept Ned's mustache.
  • Becky, from The Life & Times of Tim, for whom greeting cards are Serious Business.
  • DNAmy from Kim Possible. While she may be a maniacal rogue geneticist, her devotion to her Cuddle Buddies and creating real-life versions thereof is definitely Glurgey.
  • The Time Squad struggle with the unfortunate discovery that Edgar Allan Poe became one. They manage to snap him out of this by insulting his cake.
  • Kaeloo is obsessed with cuteness, cute things and happiness.
  • Gravity Falls: Mabel is obsessed with cutesy things like unicorns, motivational stickers and bedazzling. This is most clearly demonstrated by the Sugar Bowl Lotus-Eater Machine created by Bill Cipher to imprison her in the finale. Though even Mabel has her limits, with it being implied Bill was using More than Mind Control to keep her trapped in such a deluge of glurge. After making up with Dipper, Mabel seems to snap out of a haze commenting that everything's too bright and complaining about listening to the same annoying song for days.

  • Michael Jackson appears to have been one, to the point that his Neverland Ranch was drenched in sugary sweetness. The paintings his friend David Nordahl created for him are good examples.
  • Jack Chick. Whatever else they may be, his Chick Tracts are full of sentimentality and stark moral lessons.
  • Mariah Carey has named the majority of her albums are very positive and cutesy things, like Rainbow, Butterfly, Charmbracelet, and Glitter. She also refers to her fans as "little lambs" and seems to have a definite love of all things sweet and cute.