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Films — Animation
How to Train Your Dragon
- Your child isn't born badass like you? Well then there isn't anything you can do. Just leave him with your eccentric friend in a small room full of pointy objects and molten metal. You're too busy to train him yourself so don't worry about it.
- Crippling an animal for life and then making him dependent on you for basic survival is a good thing.
- Approaching your crush never works. Either let them approach you or dangle them from a tree.
- The only way to prove that you can live in peace and harmony with the opposing side of a war is by killing the opposing side's leader.
- The only way for people to like you is to enlist yourself into a war you are too young to fight in.
- Losing a leg and waking up from a coma isn't a big deal. Just walk it off.
- Abuse a nice and well-mannered child all you like. He'll still help you, because he's that good.
- Punching people is a great way to show your love for them. No way is it domestic abuse at all.
- The only way to get the approval of your abusive dad is to nearly kill yourself saving his life.
- Animal abuse is okay if it's done to sheep. Those things are indestructible.
- War is the only option.
- Never try to see the humanity in a potential threat and try to avoid a war through negotiation or your loved one will pay with his life.
- You learn how to tame a wild animal, that means you have full ownership of that animal's genus. Anyone else is in possession of said animals and then you're a target.
- Your people wouldn't leave your ancestral home when fire-breathing monsters were attacking them every other night for three-hundred years, but they will leave if those monsters are your friends now.
- Crippling an animal and then making them dependent on you with a prosthetic is okay. Drugging them to make them open to suggestion isn't.
- Loving things other than a spouse or child is for naive tinkle boys. As are dreams of bettering the world.
- Hoes before bros.
The Legend of the Boneknapper Dragon
- If you see a mundane evidence of an accident happen but someone tells you an unbelievable explanation with no tangible proof, believe that person because he'll be right.
- Breaking into your neighbor's houses and leaving live explosives there in the middle of winter in the far north will have no lasting consequences for you, especially if you didn't know they were explosive in the first place.
- Make sure to know what your pets want for Not-Christmas or they'll destroy it right after they use it once.
- You don't want invading animals and they harass you constantly. When you want them around they will leave. Stop wanting things.
- Whenever you play a game, always expect one of them to cheat.
- If you're left in charge of your tribe as a ruler, screw democracy and force your people to follow outdated traditions. Also, if you try to order them to follow said outdated traditions and they disobey you without your consent, expect your superior to possibly chide you, and not the people who actually went against your orders.
- Disobeying your appointed leader will issue no consequences.
- All children are either insolent brats or morons.
- Revising history is fine if it keeps the kids entertained for 20 minutes.
- Children building traps with arrows and maces and fire for when your friends come to visit isn't worrying. It's adorable.
- Let your child bang their skulls against everything. They'll be fine.
- Adults have the memory capacity of goldfish.
- Vikings were anti-intellectual morons who strived to be as unpleasant as possible.
- Vikings would disown and banish their own children at the drop of a hat for the first sign of weakness as their laws demanded. Straight-up fact.
- People are just a Powder Keg Crowd waiting to happen and can be set off by anything and anyone, even if that someone is a crotchety old bastard with an entitlement complex who no one likes.
- Child abuse is funny.
- Troubling Unchildlike Behavior is funny.
- When you find a new species of dragon, make sure they all either have "wing" or "death" in the name. Not only is it creative, it won't get old at all.
Riders of Berk
"Viking For Hire"
- Don't strive for peace because war-profiteers will lose their jobs.
- Listening to the founder and expert on a certain skill on how to acquire that skill is for wimps. Go with your gut no matter how often it doesn't work.
- No matter how much you accomplish doing things your own way, people will still expect better of you under a narrow standard.
- History will only remember you for how cultural standards will want to remember you by and not the truth.
- New things are dangerous.
- Expect the worst in people and those expectations will be right... and also wrong. In-fact don't expect anything at all.
- Enjoying your victory after years of losing will make you just as bad as the guy who gloats non-stop and sorely needs his ego deflated.
- Your opponent's dad is a dick, so it would be dishonorable to beat him in a fair contest.
- Being a loser will make you attractive to the opposite sex.
- The lives of one two-headed dragon is worth more than preventing a war in a culture that only a few months prior would have gladly killed it for sport.
- Getting yourself and someone else stranded in enemy territory in a blind fit of spite isn't worth apologizing for. Just pretend nothing happened and the person you dragged into your mess will forgive you anyway.
Defenders of Berk
"Live and Let Fly"
- Rebelling against your experienced parent/chief is not only the right thing to do, it will illicit no punishment.
- Training is unhealthy.
- Animal venom is essentially an energy drink and helps when under a Heroic RRoD.
- Nothing is worth doing unless there are clearly defined winners and losers.
- If a woman is ever angry, it's because of institutional sexism.
- If an idiot with No Listening Skills comes up with an idea to fix a problem that they caused due to all of their other ideas, this one is guaranteed to work.
- Make sure you have experience with taming and riding an animal before you ask someone to teach you how to tame and ride that animal.
- During war times, having more of a crack-team of people riding fire-breathing monsters isn't a priority.
- You aren't a hypocrite when you try to keep someone from learning a skill in a safe, controlled environment when you yourself had to learn that skill under a time limit with limited resources.
- Don't bring any stray animals home or they will destroy your entire town.
- Don't bring any stray animals home or your pet will leave with them.