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Season 5 Characters (Markov)

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Player Characters

     Sasha Grier 
Played By: Lauren Morgan
Sasha is the crew's strategist. She's an Aarakocra of the barn owl variety. She was once a librarian, she's the conduit of conspiracy. She's technically a bard. Her thing is cryptids. She has a best friend called Jade with whom swaps historical fanfiction. Her bard performance is linked to her holographic watch, a wrist mounted hard light projector, which has a sitar as an instrument. She's chaotic neutral, as she likes to fuck shit up, in Lauren's own words. Her bard college is the College of Whispers.
  • Always a Child to Parent: Specifically her dad, who's patronizing to the point that he wants to 'save' her from the Bastards without hearing her out at all.
    • At one point she outright tells him to stop treating her like a child... at which point he tries to hit her, saying it's how adults are treated.
  • Conspiracy Kitchen Sink: Her view of the universe where All Myths Are True; she seems to believe in every possible cryptid existing. Although she later explains that the cryptid obsession is more of a funny way to describe her desire to explore the universe and its unanswered questions. Not that she'd mind meeting mothman, of course.
  • Crazy-Prepared: By invoking the Conduit of Conspiracy, Sasha can retroactively prepare for things no one could have possibly seen coming. She puts this to good use when they need radiation suits in their first mission.
  • Did You Just Romance Cthulhu?: She dreams about and writes fanfics about dating Mothman.
  • Huge Guy, Tiny Girl:
    • She loves to climb on Dregg's shoulder and perch there to gain an elevated view into the distance.
    • Later inverted (comparatively, anyway) when she starts carrying the tiny Objectivus around with her.
      • Inverted back with Objectivus when she implants him into a sun dragon.
  • Heroic BSoD: After Jacklyn's death she starts muttering to herself that she'll 'fix it' and seems to start losing her grip on reality. Fortunately Dregg gets her out of it.
  • The Mothman: Her search for the famous cryptid is the backbone of her entire journey.
    • The twist is revealed in episode 28 when the Bastards reach the moth city on the Markov sun and find the Owl Woman statue. She was actually the "Mothman" all along, messages sent to the past from herself to guide the events of the future to save the galaxy.
  • Odd Friendship: She's developed a vaguely positive relationship with the large and cynical Dregg, which is more than anyone else has managed.
  • Petting Zoo People: She is a bird woman of the barn owl type.
  • Properly Paranoid:
    • She's proven right early in the season as they find the Loch Ness Monster.
    • Her Conspiracy powers retroactively invoke this trope whenever used; whatever she gains from her powers, the explanation is that she expected the exact situation they've found themselves in, no matter how unlikely, and prepared accordingly.
  • Stalker with a Crush: To The Mothman. The stalking is more part of her general cryptid hunting, but she seems particularly interested in the mothman and has apparently written romantic fanfiction about him.

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     Liamoira Melbeck 
Played By: Laura Kate Dale
Liamoira is the crew's captain, here to mediate the others. She's a middle aged Giff, also known as a space hippo. She used to be a bounty hunter, and would get drunk with people to find out about good leads and get rewards before them. She probably has a few enemies because of this. Her alignment is chaotic good; she just wants to make friends, meet new people. She's a bit all over the place. Her class is a reflavored ranger: she's got a big old shotgun rather than bows or arrows. She is conduit of spirits, which allows her to make drunken inspirational speeches which make her increasingly useless. The Giffs are inspired by British colonialist adventurers. It's a little yikes. She's also from the only species in the party that doesn't originate from earth.
  • Addiction-Powered: Her conduit power is fueled by alcohol.
  • Anything That Moves:
    • Her primary motivation to do anything or go anywhere is smooching every species in the universe.
    • She apparently learned how to speak an obscure form of space-braille so she could ask consent from aliens she's interested in kissing.
  • Bi the Way: Has shown attraction to both men and women regularly.
  • Big Beautiful Woman: Part of being a Giff. As an anthropomorphic hippo, she's large in a number of dimensions, and her track record suggests people find her pretty attractive.
  • But for Me, It Was Tuesday:
    • When she goes to a bar, she is confronted by the violent boyfriend of a lady she smooched at some point in the past. She admits that she does this so often that she has no idea which lady he means.
    • Retroactively averted; she later explains to him that she vividly remembers everyone she smooches, and even has a wall with all of their names and pictures, she simply didn't know which specific lady he was referring to since he never mentioned her name. Once he does so, she remembers the woman's occupation, planet, and smooch quality.
  • The Heart: She has a number of skills based around inter-party diplomacy. According to Laura, this is because the last two seasons had party members split off and become antagonists, and she'd like to keep that from happening again if possible.
  • Lady Drunk:
    • This is an actual superpower for Liamoira who can allow a bad dice roll for her team to be rerolled by taking a drink. She has yet to be seen sober at any point in the season so far.
    • Apparently, she spends free time in bars trying to make new friends. Upon failing to find friendly people, she instead starts taking ridiculous dares, using her conduit power to give her an edge.
  • Non-Lethal K.O.: Asks Ragnar to acquire some shotgun ammunition that won't kill her enemies.
  • Petting Zoo People: As a Giff, she is an anthropomorphized hippopotamus woman.
  • Shotguns Are Just Better: Her weapon of choice is a shotgun.
  • The Captain: She is the Captain of the Snallygaster and the Tuff Bastards crew.
  • When All You Have Is A Shotgun: Laura bemoans a few times that Liamoira lacks team support versatility as all her ranger abilities are oriented toward offensive firearm uses.

     Dr. Olivia Adler/Lilith Sakana 
Played By: Chris Larios
Doctor Olivia Adler is the doctor on the ship, and she WILL be referred to as doctor. She's a merfolk cleric, reflavored as a science focused medic. She's a hipster who listens to electroswing. More importantly, she's a biotic with telekinetic powers. She has a robot assistant called H37P, also known as Stevedave. She acts as the Conduit of Prevention, meaning she can cast Counterspell when she needs to, and has immunity to disease and poison, and she can transfer that immunity to someone else. Her alignment is Lawful Good, as she has an oath to help everyone and not let anyone die regardless of alignment or position. In spite of that, she has a laser people to zap people when needed. Her best friend is a minotaur called Big Star⭐.
  • Abhorrent Admirer: Objectivus admitted liking her a lot and requested to be given her body as a host should she ever stop requiring its use. She reluctantly agreed.
  • Actual Pacifist: She has no problem with letting Stevedave kill monsters, but draws the line at sapient creatures to the point of stabilizing hostiles during a fight.
  • An Arm and a Leg: Her left leg is disassembled by the Witchlight in Episode 14.
  • Batman Grabs a Gun: After Cassius explains his motivation to give everyone the "freedom" that war provides, Olivia shoots him in the face, breaking her vow of pacifism. Especially notable since this was part of the Sadistic Choice she'd refused for years.
  • The Conscience: Explicitly acts as the moral compass of the Bastards. The moment she is off-screen the body count shoots up.
    • This is part of the reason Liamoira makes her first mate.
  • Damsel in Distress: The second half of the campaign revolves around her being captured by Cassius and the team's efforts to save her.
  • Dark and Troubled Past: She asked the Sol ambassador they work for to leave her name out of any records and gave Dregg a thumb drive telling him it would explain things if she were killed. An Invicta member she saved killed her mentor, kidnapped her, and pressganged her into working as a doctor in Drift Park before she was able to escape.
    • On top of that, it's later revealed that the Invicta member she saved was Cassius Pire; now the leader of Invicta.
  • Embarrassing Tattoo: She has a large Invicta tattoo on her right leg. Considering she was effectively abducted instead of joining of her own free will, she's probably none too happy about it.
  • Given Name Reveal: In episode 15, Olivia explains her past and reveals her given name is Lilith Sakana.
  • Hipster:
    • She enjoys getting her news delivered on vinyl record prints.
    • One of her abilities is based around knowing particular venues in her current area. This ranges from obscure cafes to vegan restaurants where the meals are prepared exclusively from things which never see the sun.
      • This also allows her the ability to order rare specialty craft beers anywhere she goes. She can inexplicably do this in places that don't even sell alcohol.
  • Interspecies Romance: After critically failing an insight check on Courage, Olivia fell in love instead. Keep in mind this was before Courage had his shell back; she'd basically fallen in love with a purple cell.
  • Killed Off for Real: She bleeds out from the wounds she suffers from shooting Cassius before the party can rescue her, making her the third-ever player character to die before the season finale.
  • Meaningful Name: "Sakana" means "fish" in Japanese.
  • Mentor Occupational Hazard: Dr. Tenma, who taught her medicine. At first it's unclear what happened to him; just that he's dead and part of why Olivia's travelling the stars. Turns out Cassius killed him as part of a Sadistic Choice for Olivia before abducting her the first time.
  • Robot Buddy: A drone named Stevedave. It does most of the direct fighting for her (seeing as she's mostly a pacifist).
  • Take a Third Option: When Cassius tries to pull his Sadistic Choice again at the Purists' compound, the options given are that she can only leave if she breaks her oath and kills him. She puts the sword through her own chest instead, forcing him to save her and negating his life debt to her.
  • Technical Pacifist: She won't kill sapient creatures, but she will command her robot buddy to destroy monsters. She has more issues with killing sapient creatures.
  • The Shrink: Sets up a group therapy session following the first mission. Dregg turns down the offer, much to her chagrin.
  • The Stoic: Remains calm, collected and straight-faced, even when Dregg refuses to share his feelings in group therapy and it's hinted that she was really, really hoping he would join.
  • Taking the Bullet: When the Witchlight attempts to kill Courage, she jumps in front. She lives, but her left leg is disassembled on the molecular level.
  • They Call Me Mister Tibbs: She didn't go to medical school to be called Miss Adler. Not that she went to an actual medical school. But she is a trained doctor, and she's adamant in being referred to as such.
    • This is important enough to her that it's the only part of her fake identity that's actually real.
  • Thou Shalt Not Kill:
    • As a doctor, she refuses to kill intelligent creatures. However, she's still not above letting Stevedave kill them.
    • At one point, Liamoira orders her to stop stabilizing their enemies. She refuses.
  • Walking Spoiler: Many of the events in the second half of the season are, at least in some capacity, tied into her real identity.

     Dregg Caravella 
Played By: Conrad Zimmerman
Dregg is in charge of security on the ship. He's a pretty simple, one name kinda guy. He's an ogre, nine feet tall. He big. He puts a lot of stock in intimidation cause he's not much of a fighter. He is the Conduit of Obstinance. Once per long rest he can ignore combat effects from a single source, meaning he can shrug off the damage until the end of the encounter. He's Lawful Evil and has a horrible background which he doesn't talk about. He's a paladin, and his background is Criminal. On the subject of drinking him under the table, Conrad tells Laura: "Good luck with that." He has brass knuckles called Rite and Left, with the writing upside down, mostly so he'll know which way is which.
  • The Big Guy: As an ogre, Dregg is easily the biggest of the Tuff Bastards at over nine feet tall.
  • The Brute: He's the frontline brawler of the crew as the only truly physical fighter of the group. While he's not actually stupid, he has the lowest intelligence score of the party and specializes in being Street Smart leaving the book smarts to the others.
  • Break Them by Talking: Dregg uses every tiny insecurity Tony has to goad him into confessing to murder. Keep in mind, this is unusual for Dregg; he prefers to break them by punching. Which he also did to Tony.
  • Combat Pragmatist:
    • Considers fighting for the sake of honor and dignity a pointless risk. He also has no qualms about simply stomping on anything he can get his foot over.
    • He manages to hijack a shipment of smuggled graphene by taking a hostage and pointing out to the smugglers that attacking him would just be kind of stupid.
    • When Dr. Adler offers to help him cheat to win a cage match, he doesn't even think about turning her down.
    • His conduit ability is basically a hard counter to honorable duels.
  • Covered with Scars: Considering his lifestyle, it's not surprising. Specifically pointed out when Sasha's father tries to give him a scar as a lesson to Sasha; Dregg isn't bothered because he's been through the same thing more times than he can count.
  • Dark and Troubled Past: Has a criminal background and has not explained why he got kicked out of a paladin order. More specifically, his criminal background is that he's one of the three Caravella brothers (he's adopted), though he doesn't seem to have any particular interest in running the family business beyond the necessity of doing so to prevent a power vacuum.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Probably unintentionally, but his blunt way of speaking and flat affect can sometimes make him seem this way.
    Courage: Name. Courage.
    Dregg: I find that hard to believe.
  • Declining Promotion: When Liamoira first looks into promoting someone to act as first mate, she chooses Dregg. He very bluntly declines, and tells her to make Olivia first mate.
  • Determinator: To be expected from the conduit of obstinance. When an extra-dimensional being made of pure light tries to take him apart to his base elements, he remains intact because he's too stubborn to die.
    • His first method of getting through the Purists' meditations is first to stand in the middle of the room, arms crossed, not moving. His second is standing in front of the restroom, fighting everyone who tries to enter.
  • The Don: In name, anyway. To allow the Bastards to bring in both Vinnie and Tony without creating a power vacuum, he assumed control of the family, but installed Pearl as the boss in his name. Since he has no real input, Pearl's basically in charge.
  • 11th-Hour Superpower: Sasha uses her conduit powers to retroactively give Dregg the Witchlight, which gives him a way to destroy Maxwells. He then gets another one when he takes Jacklyn's flails which can directly damage forms.
  • Luckily, My Shield Will Protect Me: His graphene shield repeatedly saves the lives of the crew, as he blocks everything from tranquilizer darts to water bullets.
  • Mercy Kill: Tries to smash Jacklyn's head into a wall when she starts turning into a slasher. This doesn't work so he uses her flails to erase her instead.
  • Never Had A Birthday Party: Since his original parents were killed and his adoptive family were, to quote Ragnar, "bullshit assholes" Dregg had never experienced any birthday party, his own or even someone else's. When the crew threw him a Surprise Party he was more confused than anything.
    Dregg: It is a party... for largeness.
  • Not Afraid to Die: He doesn't see any reason why he should fear death. At one point they even go to the plane he'll most likely end up on in the afterlife, where nameless armies fight endlessly for eternity, and he figured it wasn't much different from his usual routine.
  • Odd Friendship: He's not exactly 'friends' with Sasha, but he seems friendlier to her than anyone else, even putting her on his shoulder so she can make better use of her eyesight. When Jacklyn asks him what he thinks of Sasha, he says she's small but strong.
  • Only Sane Man: He's certain that the Bastards are going to get him killed. Dr. Adler is the only member of the crew he doesn't think is completely insane.
  • Punch Catch: While fighting Mr. Grier on foot, Dregg catches Grier's sword arm and breaks the wrist. When Grier tries to hit Sasha, Dregg catches the strike and breaks that wrist too.
  • Pragmatic Villainy: For a given definition of villainy. He slaughters a splinter faction in the Caravella family to keep them from starting a much more violent and messy mob war.
  • A Scar to Remember: After realizing he can't kill Dregg, Mr. Grier decides to leave as gruesome a scar as possible. Unusual in that the scar isn't intended to punish Dregg (who doesn't care) but to punish Sasha.
  • Theme Song Power Up: Receives one when he dedicates himself to the Bastards, regaining his Oath.
  • The Quiet One: Dregg is very economical with words and will often reply with short grunts to express disapproval.
    • When infiltrating the Purists cult, his cover was that he was the Conduit of Quiet.
  • Willfully Weak:
    • Well, weaker. And not physically. Jacklyn points out that he could gain full access to his paladin powers by committing himself to the Tuff Bastards, but he seems to deliberately avoid doing so.
    • Eventually averted during his confrontation with Tony, when he does devote himself to the Bastards.

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Crewmates

     Objectivus 

Played By: Austin Yorski
A guppy-sized Mindflayer spawn the crew encountered on their first mission. He served as mission control for a secret Illithid lab in charge of an experiment to find an alternate fresh brain feeding source for their race and remove their need to feed on the brains of sentient species. The Conduit of Communication, which lets him telepathically speak over large distances and in different languages. Now acts as ship communications officer while continuing his experiments with Adler.
  • Affably Evil: He's cheerful and willing to help, serving as a telepath communication officer to the Tuff Bastards. His occasional evil behavior, such as expressing that someone's brain "looks delicious" comes across more as Innocently Insensitive than actually evil.
  • Brain Food: As an illithid, he constantly hungers for brains.
  • Minion with an F in Evil:
    • Accidentally calls heroes to the rescue of his evil illithid teammates when their test subjects break out of containment.
    • After being rescued by the Tuff Bastards in the first mission, he joins them and becomes a Hero with an F in Good.
  • The Man Behind the Curtain: Spent the entire first mission pretending to be a massive illithid control brain... until his hiding place is found and he's revealed to be a tiny spawn no larger than Sasha's hand.
  • Puppeteer Parasite: As an illithid he's supposed to be one, but he never actually got a host body. Until Sasha launches him into a sun dragon.
  • Took a Level in Badass: Sasha fires him into the skull of a SUN DRAGON which he immediately takes over, instantly gaining ALL THE LEVELS of badass.
    Objectivus: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

     Courage 

Played By: Austin Yorski
Courage is part of the native residents of Gloria, sentient spherical globes with no prehensile limbs who craft complex armored shells (often humanoid in shape) as a way to work and interact with other species. His shell has the shape of a human body with a triple dog head. He was rescued during their first mission and remained with the crew after reporting to his superiors about his failed mission to stop the illithid research lab. He's named after his Conduit, making him the Conduit of Courage.
  • Hulk Speak: His grasp of human languages is severely limited, and he only ever speaks in one-word sentences. Specifically, his species communicates through electrical impulses conveying a specific emotion or concept. He still talks this way even when using verbal communication.
  • Meaningful Name: His culture of Solitaire (which is apparently the dominant culture) are named after their conduit powers.
  • Offscreen Moment of Awesome: After the Bastards finish their business at the wildlife preserve, they return to the ship to find a pile of dead Invicta members who tried to steal it. Sasha then remembered that his last job was as a government assassin.
  • Person of Holding: His personal weapon is a telescopic staff that he stores inside one of the mouths of his shell.

     Big Star⭐ 

An old friend of Dr. Adler. An albino minotaur with a star on his chest, he took an interest in machinery while Olivia learned about medicine and built himself a prosthetic arm. First meets the crew as a park ranger, then joins them as an engineer. He's the Conduit of Awe(some). The star in his name is important.

He becomes Chris' player character after Olivia is captured by Invicta during the Shell arc. As revealed in Episode 33, his real name is Luther Jacobs. He took on the Big Star⭐ persona as a means of escaping his trauma from the Illithid War.


  • Arm Cannon: His prosthetic arm is a megaman-style cannon.
  • The Atoner: Part of why he tries to do good now is to make up in some way for what he did during and after the Illithid war.
  • Awesomeness Is a Force: As his conduit would suggest. Whenever he rolls a critical success on anything, he will look so cool that allies will gain bonuses and enemies will flee in terror. And we do mean anything: The first time this happened was when he rolled a twenty on running away from a fight.
  • Badass Bisexual: He's been romantically involved with Sigrid and asked Hafthor out on a date.
  • The Big Guy: He and Dregg have similarly large and muscular body types, helped along by his being a minotaur.
  • Dark and Troubled Past: Aside from what he shares with Olivia's own past, he went through a lot of trauma in the Illithid war and has regrets from afterwards as well.
  • Embarrassing Tattoo: His Invicta tattoo, now covered by the star on his chest.
  • The Engineer: It's his role on the ship. His actual class is Artificer, which fulfills the same niche in gameplay terms.
  • Incoming Ham: His first appearance at the end of Episode 7.
    Big Star: I'm Ranger Big Star! Throw down your weapons and prepare to submit to the long horns of the law!"
  • Large Ham: Austin's voice for him is comically hammy. Goes Up to Eleven when Chris takes control of him and voices him like Randy Savage.
  • Promoted to Playable: After Olivia wound up back in Drift Park, Chris took control of Big Star⭐.
  • Robot Buddy: Artificers get a companion, which he implemented as 'Stevedave 2.0': A Rhino-sized robotic Tarrasque. It's a reflavored Rhinocerous for gameplay purposes.
  • Running Gag: Players (primarily Laura and Chris) kept joking about getting killed so they could play as Big Star⭐. Eventually, Olivia gets taken to Drift Park, letting Chris actually make good on that.
  • Secret Keeper:
    • He was involved in enough of Dr. Adler's Dark and Troubled Past that he seems to know pretty much all of it. He's deliberately vague about what little he says. He used to be an Invicta member, but left when he helped Olivia escape Drift Park, and lost an arm for his trouble.
    • Even under threat of Sasha's mind probes, he only told the crew what his past with Invicta was. He insisted they ask Olivia if they wanted to know her story.

     Hafthor Grunndorsson 

A giff pilot who was hired by Noble to help research the Maxwells. After Noble's death, he was kidnapped by Tony Caravella's thugs. The Tuff Bastards find him in a cave and bring him on as their pilot. Conduit of Ships.


  • Boisterous Bruiser: He's pretty friendly, but he enjoys fighting to the point of Blood Knight status. His hive-mind flashback is just scenes of battles, with him excitedly pointing out his favorite kills.
  • Boring, but Practical: Nobody asked about his conduit until the tail end of the season. Turns out it just makes him a better pilot.
  • Catchphrase: Austin's eventually able to get a consistent voice going, but has to say "ey guv'nor!" to get into character. This leads to Hafthor saying "ey guv'nor!" whever he hasn't spoken in awhile.
  • Character Development: After becoming part of the hive mind, he starts showing more loyalty towards the crew, even voluntarily leading an Invicta fleet on a near-suicidal distraction chase around the planet to protect them.
  • Family of Choice: He offers to show Big Star⭐ a picture of his family. It's a picture of the Bastards.
  • Only in It for the Money: As a traditional Giff, he's very mercenary; he proudly states that he fought on both sides of the Illithid War. Considering one of those sides wanted to eat everyone's brains, he probably wasn't interested in their ideals.
    • When the crew becomes fugitives from the Sol government his only concern is whether or not they can still pay him.
    • This tendency starts to fade after becoming part of the hive mind.
  • Ooh, Me Accent's Slipping: He starts off sounding like an old-timey prospector, but morphs into a vague Bostonian the more Austin says his name. What's more, as a giff, he's supposed sound English; Austin just couldn't figure out how to do an old Englishman accent.
  • Overly Long Name: According to Hafthor, the more traditional giffs append titles to their names. Hafthor's full name is Hafthor Grunndorsson First of his Name Bringer of Fire and Brimstone Redeemer of Stone Conqueror of Mountains Harbinger of Glory the Forerunner of Retribution the Permafrosted the Titanium-Headed the Heavy-Handed Friend of Centaurs. Austin reads off his full name at every opportunity.
  • Weapon of Choice: He carries duck's foot pistol, which is a pistol that splits into multiple barrels horizontally.

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     Ragnar Tam 

A Drow smuggler for the Caravella crime family. He helps Liamoira out of a bar fight and gives her an in into doing smuggling work for the Caravellas. Later turns out to be an undercover cop, using Liamoira as a pawn to help him take down the Caravellas. Conduit of Infiltration. After his job is finished, he effectively joins the crew.


  • The Atoner: Feels especially guilty for lying to Liamoira and effectively blackmailing her into helping him. He tries to make it up after his job's over.
  • Cultural Rebel: Played with. He was never part of Drow culture (he was adopted by non-Drow), but the stereotypes about Drow as a species still affected him. He was motivated to join the police force to throw off the stereotype that Drow are inherently bad people.
  • Good Scars, Evil Scars: He has a giant scar on the back of his head that looks like it was made by an explosion.
    • He got it when trying to go undercover in Drow society. As he was adopted by non-Drow, his difference in culture blew his cover and they cracked his head open with a boulder and left him to die.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold:
    • He's pretty antisocial at first, but grows more friendly towards Liamoira and fights off the bar patrons attacking her when the fight starts to get boring.
    • Later on, he's legitimately sorry for manipulating Liamoira, seeing it as a necessary part of his job in keeping Markov safe.
    • When the Bastards break from Sol's government and turn fugitive he stays with the crew, albeit on the condition that, if captured, they'll act like he was "infiltrating" them.
  • Relationship Reboot: After his undercover assignment is complete he reintroduces himself to Liamoira with his full name. He genuinely wants to be friends with her, this time with no manipulations.
  • Surprise Party: When he learns that Dregg had never had a birthday party in his life, he gets the rest of the crew (and Pearl and Irene) together to throw him one.

     Subjectivus 
Objectivus' brother and a Ulitharid. He left the Illithid empire some time before the season's start. Conduit of Isolation. This changes to the Conduit of Brotherhood after the crew merges into a hive mind with his help.
  • Defector from Decadence: He dislikes how governments put so much stock in growth at the expense of others. Since the Illithid government grows by literally consuming their neighbors, he had something of a disagreement with them and went AWOL after being reassigned to the desolate planet Fermat.
    • This is especially notable since Ulitharid are basically Illithid nobility, and can even grow into Elder Brains eventually. Although this perceived threat was also part of why he was reassigned in the first place.
  • Defrosting Ice King: He's not outright hostile to people, but he'd really like to be left alone. After merging the crew into a hive mind, however, he's a bit more sociable to the point that his conduit changes to Brotherhood.
  • The Hermit: His conduit link is based on how much he wants to be left alone.
  • Loners Are Freaks: His desire to be left alone is seen as disgusting by the collective-minded Illithid, and on top of that possibly contagious. It's part of why he and Objectivus (his broodmate, and therefore 'already tainted' by Subjectivus) were reassigned to Fermat.
  • Stealth in Space: His conduit blocks people from knowing where the Snallygaster is so long as he's around.
    • After his conduit changes to Brotherhood, this becomes an issue.

     Capt. Kelston "Babish" Wiggles 
A Thri-Kreen chef and former scientist. Conduit of Recipes.
  • In-Universe Nickname: Babish and Wiggles. And Captain too, sort of.
    • First Big Star⭐ declared he was named Wiggles, then declared his name was Kelston (which is his actual name), but Kelston liked "Wiggles" enough that he kept it. Then Big Star⭐ declared his name was Babish (Babby for short) and to top it all off the crew still calls him captain despite his not being a captain anymore.
  • Know When to Fold 'Em: The crew points out that, despite his accomplishments, he doesn't have a great track record of conducting his experiments safely. They convince him to give up science for cooking.
  • Life of the Party: His flashback when the crew becomes a hive-mind is of himself in college, just dancing on a table with a lampshade on his head.
  • Missed Him by That Much: He was introduced in an episode where Olivia was chronologically absent but still with the crew, but one that was recorded after she was taken back to Drift Park. To explain why there was a chef on the crew she'd never met before, the cast jokes that they just kept missing each other.
    • During Dregg's birthday party they're in the same room. But since they're not supposed to know each other, contrived coincidences keep popping up to keep them from meeting (i.e. when he sets out the birthday cake Olivia's standing behind a cardboard cutout of Michael Jordan).
  • Put on a Bus: Played straight in the chronology of the series, but averted in episode airing order. At the end of his introductory episode, he goes off to practice cooking, with the Bastards saying they'll track him down so he can join their crew.
    • Since Austin didn't want them getting sidetracked looking for him, however, he has Kelston emerge from the kitchen in the next episode; chronologically, he's been in there since whatever uncertain point in time the baby episode is set.
  • Supreme Chef: His cooking is strong enough that you have a make a saving throw to handle it, but if you do it raises your stats.

     Sigrid 
A graphene dragon. As such, her hoard of choice is weaponry.
  • Anything That Moves: Not even Austin's sure why she comes across as perpetually aroused. The only thing that seems to alter how much she's into someone is how many weapons she's recieved from them, and that only makes her like them more.
    • She was even flirting with Dregg when he gave her the shipment of Reigarian weapons.
  • Expy: When Austin asks what her human form looks like, both Lauren and Chris jump straight to Lust from Fullmetal Alchemist.
  • Interspecies Romance: She's particularly interested in Big Star⭐ since he makes weapons and she collects them. It's why she's interested in joining the crew.
  • Only in It for the Money: Well, for her hoard. Which is weapons. A shipment of rare Reigarian weapons is enough to win her over to help the Bastards, and she even enters their hive-mind with Big Star⭐'s promise of additional weaponry.
  • Spike Shooter: Her dragon breath ability launches a torrent of graphene spikes at people.
  • Voluntary Shapeshifting: As a dragon, she has a draconic form and a humanoid form.

     Akira 
A pink dragon who looks a bit like an axolotl. As such, his hoard of choice is love. He goes by masculine pronouns in dragon form and feminine pronouns in giff form.
  • Amazing Technicolor Population: Pink isn't a natural skin tone for a giff.
  • Big Beautiful Woman: In humanoid form, which is a beautiful pink giff.
  • Gender Bender: Male in dragon form, female in humanoid form. Austin says the closest parallel is genderfluid since we don't exactly have scientific terminology for shapeshifters.
  • Healing Hands: His dragon breath ability heals people. Because of how gameplay works, it also repairs mechs somehow.
  • Interspecies Romance: She hooked up with Liamoira awhile back, and enjoyed herself enough that he agreed to side with the Bastards with the promise of an additional date with her.
    • Of course, this is made somewhat ambiguous since she was in humanoid form at the time, which is a giff like Liamoira. Liamoira herself never realized she was dating a dragon despite learning draconic from her.
  • Voluntary Shapeshifting: His dragon form is an axolotl-like dragon. Her humanoid form is a beautiful pink giff.

     Lala 
A lepidopteran (moth-person) who comes from the secret lepidopteran town located on Markov's sun. She communicates through sign language (aided by magic if someone doesn't understand signing). Conduit of Conspiracies, but in a different way from Sasha.
  • Ascended Fangirl: She spent her life idolizing Sasha and her adventures. Due to time shenanigans she ends up on Sasha's crew during those adventures.
  • Clingy Jealous Girl: She's a stereotypical superfan to the point of literally trying to start a religion around Sasha.

Sol Government

     Ambassador Jacklyn 

Sol's ambassador to Markov. She's a veteran of the Illithid War, and now acts to coordinate adventurers in the Markov system. Technically the Bastards' boss. Conduit of Comradery.


  • Ambadassador: She has a bodybuilder's physique and a pair of soul-bound flails. She also acts as Sol's ambassador to the Markov system.
  • Clingy Jealous Girl: Downplayed, but after the Bastards turn against Sol, she doesn't take Sasha's choice well. First she tries to get Olivia to contact the crew, with emphasis on getting Sasha out of hot water, and when that doesn't work she gets Sasha's dad to go "rescue" her.
  • Embarrassing Tattoo: A full-back yakuza-style Invicta tattoo she got when it was still just a veteran's organization. She still has to play nice with them for diplomacy's sake.
  • Epic Flail: Wields two soul-bound flails that eat through solid matter.
  • Exposed to the Elements: Played with. She dresses in warm clothes at her office (which is on the cold, dark side of Gloria) but when she goes to Pell-3 (which has perfectly average temperature) she's so used to the cold that she dresses like she's on a tropical vacation.
  • Icy Blue Eyes: Austin describes them in her first appearance and uses Lovisa Coldeyes as a visual reference.
  • Knight In Sour Armor: In attitude, anyway. She's seen the horrors of the Illithid War firsthand, and generally comes off as very cynical and deadpan, but also approves of the Bastards' attempt to end the conflict with the Illithids.
    • When Sasha asks if she thinks peace is possible, she points out that her job is managing 'murderhobos'; she's met some of the worst people in the galaxy, but if she didn't believe in peace, she'd get a different job.
  • My Country, Right or Wrong: She's well aware of Sol's morally checkered foreign policies, but thinks them necessary to help people. This leads to her eventually clashing with the Bastards over their ethical disagreements.
  • Pretty in Mink: She wears a fur coat that's so thick it looks like a skinned polar bear. Considering her office is on the dark side of Gloria, it's pretty cold out.
  • Statuesque Stunner: She's six foot three and very muscular.
  • Transformation Horror: When she decides to help Sasha and Dregg, Cassius triggers her transformation into a slasher. It involves bones breaking and blades pushing out of her arms.

     Mr. Grier 

Sasha's father. A great horned owl Aarakocra, retired military officer, and championship fencer.


  • Back in the Saddle: He comes out of retirement after Jacklyn tells him his daughter is on the run from the government and he needs to get her back.
  • Dad the Veteran: A veteran of the Illithid war.
  • It Only Works Once: His proficiency as a duelist is due to his ability to memorize his opponents' attacks and defend against them in the future. This means that, when fighting him, the Bastards have to change their attack every time to damage him.
  • Last-Name Basis: He probably does have a first name, but Austin almost always refers to him as 'Mr. Grier' and the Bastards only know him as 'Sasha's dad'.
  • Literal Disarming: One of his tactics is to try and cut the arms and legs off of his opponents' mechs.
    • Out of the mechs, this gets used against him when Dregg breaks both his wrists.
  • Master Swordsman: He's a championship duelist. Even his mech fights with a rapier.
  • Meddling Parents: He planned out a career for Sasha in chemistry. In his mind he was being a good father and ensuring his daughter's success, but this led him to ignore what Sasha actually wanted for herself.
    • It's also implied that this was less for Sasha's benefit and more a way for him to make his family look more respectable.
  • Overprotective Dad: To the point of not realizing that Sasha doesn't want or need his protection. He's so patronizing that he ignores what she has to say, just wanting to 'save' her from the Bastards.
  • Put on a Bus: After his mech is destroyed and his wrists are broken he decides to just go back home.
  • Why Did You Make Me Hit You?: While he avoids trying to injure Sasha, he decides to kill Dregg with the same goal in mind, trying to justify himself by saying it's to teach her about consequences.
    • He later tries to actually do this to Sasha, but Dregg breaks his wrist before he can touch her.

Invicta

    Cassius Pire 

An Aarakocra who leads Invicta. He speaks in a near-whisper and is covered in scars. One of his wings is a graphene prosthetic. Conduit of Freedom.


  • Boom, Headshot!: After getting fed up with his philosophy, Olivia shoots him in the face. While it costs him an eye, it unfortunately fails to put him down for good.
  • Blue and Orange Morality: The Sadistic Choice (see below) he offered Lilith was because he wanted to "free" her from her oath of pacifism, which he saw as a good thing. He legitimately felt it would pay back his debt to her for saving his life.
  • Clip Its Wings: He lost one of his wings before the start of the season, replacing it with a graphene prosthetic. Later played straight when the bastards take out the prosthetic.
  • Evil Sounds Raspy: His voice isn't deep (it's actually kind of high-pitched) but it's raspy and quiet enough to sound like he's always whispering. This is because he inhaled a ridiculous amount of smoke and chemical fumes when his ship crashed; it ate away his throat lining.
  • Not So Stoic: When Olivia puts a sword through her own chest instead of humoring his Sadistic Choice. He panics, moving around the Purists' compound and calling for a medic.
  • Omnicidal Maniac: After finding out that his afterlife will consist of an eternal war under the orders of whoever it was that ended his life, he comes up with a plan to revive a swarm of planet-destroying aliens to murder everyone in the universe so that there is no one left to kill him and he gets to be the big guy in charge of the afterlife.
  • Sadistic Choice: After Lilith saved his life he shot her mentor in the stomach. He then gave her a gun and offered her a choice; break her oath of pacifism and kill him, letting her save her mentor, or keep her oath and let her mentor die.
    • After taking her to Drift Park, he started each day by giving her a gun and pointing it at his head. If she shot him, she could leave, but if she kept her oath of pacifism she'd be forced to stay.
  • Tele-Frag: His teleportation powers let him do this to people. It makes short work of Illithids.
    • He can also be more precise, teleporting himself so his limbs go through specific areas of the body, letting him incapacitate people non-lethally (albeit incredibly painfully).
  • Teleportation: His Conduit of Freedom powers manifest in this way, acting as the freedom of movement. He keeps the range limit a closely guarded secret.
  • You Have Failed Me: After Lilith escaped from Drift Park, he locked all of her guards in the training room. Only one was allowed to leave alive.

Caravella Family

     Vinnie Caravella 

Leads one of the two Caravella factions. Surrounds himself with aliens, and considers anything from Sol boring and mundane. As the Conduit of Invincibility, he doesn't need to worry about assassination attempts, or any sort of physical danger. This has left him something of a lazy playboy.


  • Affably Evil: Primarily because he doesn't see anything as a threat. Of course, he'll still kill anyone he considers an enemy. Or anyone he feels like killing. He just doesn't care too much about the matter.
  • The Don: Of about one half of the Caravella crime family.
  • Fights Like a Normal: Which is to say not well at all. He relies on his criminal organization and the Witchlight to actually get things done; he's invincible, but he's still perfectly susceptible to being locked in a room.
  • Millionaire Playboy: Not having to worry about being killed by rival criminals has made him pretty complacent. He spends his time lounging around in his pajamas and working on his golf swing, and he surrounds himself with exotic aliens, finding Sol species to boring.
  • Person of Holding: He uses his conduit powers to contain the Witchlight without getting dissolved. When he wants it to kill something he just opens his mouth and lets it out.

     Tony Caravella Jr. 

Leads one of the two Caravella factions. Tough and mean. As the Conduit of Vulnerability, he's constantly trying to stack the deck in his favor, and as a result is always wearing a massive suit of armor and dual wielding the sorts of weapons you'd see mounted on a vehicle.


  • Dead Guy Junior: Named after his father. Incredibly insecure about it.
  • The Don: Of about one half of the Caravella crime family.
  • Engineered Public Confession: He's goaded into boasting about killing Dregg's parents. He didn't realize a squad of police officers were hiding in the surrounding rooms.
  • Gatling Good: Or evil, in this case. He uses a gatling gun as a weapon despite looking like the sort you'd see attached to a military vehicle.
  • Rage Breaking Point: He spends most of his conversation with Dregg spinning his gatling gun's barrels. The first tactic to get him to confess to killing Dregg's parents was making him angry enough to let down his guard, but it soon becomes clear that he'd just shoot them before he got to that point.
  • Space Marine: Despite being a mafia boss, he acts more like one of these. It's primarily due to his paranoia as a Conduit of Vulnerability.

     Pearl 

A bionoid soldier for Vinnie Caravella's side of the family. Conduit of Professionalism.


  • Ascended Extra: She was originally just a random enemy in a combat encounter, but Olivia's insistence on saving everyone possible had her bring Pearl aboard due to the severity of her wounds. This set up a chain of events that led to her becoming the head of the Caravella family.
  • Consummate Professional: It's such a defining trait that it's her conduit link. It's also why Dregg nominates her to become the new Caravella head; she's competent and uncomplicated, which is all Dregg needed for a new leader.
  • Defeat Equals Friendship: Her working with the Bastards came about because Olivia saved her life... after they almost killed her in a gunfight.
  • The Don: Becomes head of the Caravella family as a whole so the Bastards can take down both Vinnie and Tony without Dregg having to assume control. She's technically running the family in his name, but he has no interest in giving input.
  • Mook Promotion: She's come a long way since her beginning as a random hostile NPC in a bar gunfight. Now she runs the organization she used to work for.
  • Not So Stoic: Gets roped into throwing a Surprise Party for Dregg. She even lets them use Vinnie's mansion to do it.

Other

     Gabriel 

A Dohwar weapons dealer. Lives in a secluded house in the woods. He became a contact for the Bastards to purchase weapons after Sasha stumbled across his house and somehow turned her intrusion into a trading deal. Conduit of Combustion.


  • Funny Animal: He's a Dohwar. They're sapient, capitalist penguins.
  • Surrounded by Idiots: His reaction to the Tuff Bastards bumbling through their mech orders. With the exception of Dregg, who characteristically went with the factory default.
  • Proud Merchant Race: The Dohwar mostly travel the stars looking for lucrative trade opportunities. He does the same over the internet.
  • Secret Shop: Played with. His store is probably not actually secret; he likely sells his stock over the internet or through contracts with companies; but Sasha only struck a deal with him by accidentally running across his house in the middle of the woods while looking for cryptids.

     The Witchlight 

A walking spoiler (albeit for one arc, not really the season as a whole) and a creature that shouldn't exist. It looks like a really colorful graphical error and wanders around dissolving things into their component elements. Created by Noble, Conduit of Creation, since he couldn't figure out how to synthesize a Maxwell.


  • Paradox Person: A deliberately created one. Since Noble couldn't synthesize a Maxwell, which were existential paradoxes, he decided to do it backwards and create an existential paradox in the hopes it would be something like a Maxwell. It wasn't a Maxwell, but it was something.
  • Walking Wasteland: Finding itself in an environment it shouldn't exist in, it did what many infants do; take things apart to see how they work. Only it can take anything apart. Into its component atoms.
    • When it was wandering the ship, Austin would roll a dice each turn. Every time it rolled someone's number a crewmember would disintegrate. Fortunately, they were able to contain it before it killed anyone, but Olivia's leg was eaten in the process.
  • Takes One to Kill One: The Witchlight, created in the image of the Maxwells, similarly operates outside the rules of the universe. This allows the Witchlight to kill Maxwells simply by dissolving through them.

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