The non-Team Firehawk students in Power Academy.
The Students in General
- Beta Couple: A few generic couples occasionally show up.
- Bit Characters
- Damsel out of Distress: In situations where a student is being held hostage or is otherwise endangered.
- Faceless Masses: Downplayed. The unnamed generic students look fairly...well, generic compared to the party members, particularly in terms of costume.
- Fanservice Extra: Downplayed; several show up here and there, both male and female varieties. A couple of them can be found filling out the swim team or working at the local cafe, for instance.
- Hufflepuff House
- School Uniforms Are the New Black: On school grounds, they are generally always wearing the Academy's uniform.
- 24-Hour Party People: During events like the school dance—because, well, there's an entire school outside of Team Firehawk.
Unlockable Party Members
Emily "Blaze" Hartmann (aka Subject 001)
Hydro/Jana's twin sister (hair and powers aside), Blaze is a brash young woman quick to use her pyrokinesis to solve problems big and small. Orphaned at a young age, she and Jana have spent their lives wandering from town to town, trying to get by; they eventually found their way to Power Academy. Notably, she bears a strong resemblance to Lightning, and claims the three of them are actually long-separated triplets.
She's not that far off. In reality, their minds were just altered to make them think they had a family; they are actually clones of the deceased Layla Ulrich, made by Vilhelm as super-soldiers. Thanks to Eve Ulrich, the two, along with Lightning, escaped his control before they could be used for evil purposes. Her memories were altered so she couldn't remember anything about her past, believing she and Jana lived a happy life beforehand.
Emily's powers are focused on dealing as much damage as possible, but she can quickly run out of energy doing so. Can be romanced by a male player character.
- Affably a Jerkass
- Anti-Villain --> Anti-Hero
- Appropriated Appellation: The name comes from a fake ID she used, to throw off anyone who might pursue her or Hydro.
- Artificial Human
- Boobs of Steel: The strongest (in terms of raw power) and the most well-endowed of the elemental trio.
- Cloning Blues
- Defeat Means Friendship / Promoted to Playable: Joins the party after she and Hydro are fought in a mini-boss fight early on.
- Delinquents: One of the school's prime troublemakers, though she's far from evil.
- Dirty Coward: At first.
- Fiery Redhead: Naturally.
- Glass Cannon
- Hair-Trigger Temper
- HeelFace Turn / Took a Level in Kindness: Not a villain per se, but once she learns the truth about her past, she becomes significantly less selfish.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: She's not really evil, just kind of a jerkass. Blaze cares deeply about her sister Hydro.
- Living Emotional Crutch: A mutual case with her sister Hydro/Jana.
- Mood Whiplash: Changes moods at the drop of a hat. Her sisters attribute this to Blaze being the first clone made by their mother and therefore not quite perfected yet.
- Ms. Fanservice: She's the most fanservicey of the "elemental triplets;" she's well-endowed, often wears short shorts, and knows how to rock a bikini.
- Only Known by Their Nickname
- Perky Female Minion: In the forum, she and Hydro essentially become Kuri's teammates/henchwomen for a time when they teamed up against Lightning.
- Playing with Fire
- Polar Opposite Twins: With Hydro; though maybe not quite "sisters" in a traditional sense, they can be considered as such, since they were based off the same template.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: Red to Hydro's Blue.
- Stepford Smiler: She doesn't appear to be affected by the revelation of her past as a clone...outwardly, anyway. It turns out she's repressing a lot of her angst about the subject.
- The Tease
- Tomboy and Girly Girl: Tomboy to Hydro's Girly Girl.
- Who Wears Short Shorts?
- Why Did It Have To Be Large Bodies of Water?: When she was 13, she nearly drowned in a huge flood during a hurricane, only surviving because Hydro saved her. In the present, she's still nervous around large bodies of water, shown when she feels a need to cling to Xavier while swimming with him.
- Younger Than They Look: She's physically and mentally 18, but was created 8 years prior.
Ezekiel "Zeke" Williams (aka Rudolf Kleiner)
Ezekiel and Gill have a bit of a history; they were good friends until they fought over who should own Tripp. In the end Gill defended himself against an onslaught of mining equipment, and with one push Zeke fell down a mine shaft and shattered both his legs. Gill was upset at the turn of events, but he left him to rot in the grave he dug himself. Zeke was rescued by Amaryllis, Clayton, and Lei-Lani as they began to track Gill's travels through time. He was adopted as the group's technology expert thanks to his technopathy, which earned him a reputation as the "Puppet Master." Since then he's been focused on confronting Gill again; this time though, he's assured he will come out on top.
That's not even getting into his future self. Ezekiel, using his former name Rudolf Kleiner, eventually founds Normco, essentially becoming his own employer. He's also focused on trying to ensure that his future daughter, Anna, has a chance to exist.
In addition to his mechanical minions, Zeke has developed a special steampunk wheelchair mech for his own use. Can be romanced by a female player character.
- Alternate Self: For Rudolf Kleiner.
- The Beastmaster: Commands small, animated mannequins.
- Defeat Means Friendship: When defeated at the end of his sidequest chain, he offers to join the party.
- Dogged Nice Guy: For Lei-Lani.
- Don't You Dare Pity Me!
- Evil Cripple: Averted; though the company he works for is somewhat gray at times, Ezekiel himself is a pleasant, mostly neutral individual.
- Fashion-Victim Villain: Invoked. He's colorblind and doesn't notice the clashing colors in his outfit.
- Gadgeteer Genius
- Germanic Depressive: Downplayed. He's quite curmudgeonly, but not above being positive.
- Goggles Do Nothing: The goggles he wears are mostly for show.
- Handicapped Badass
- HeelFace Turn
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold
- Lonely Piano Piece: He's seen playing one on an old piano in an empty auditorium.
- Mini-Mecha: Has built a steampunk wheelchair mech.
- The Red Baron: Goes by the nickname "The Puppet Master".
- The Rival: To Gill.
- Roaring Rampage of Revenge: Gill is the reason Ezekiel ended up in a wheelchair.
- Robot Master
- Steampunk: As his general aesthetic.
Gwendyson "Wendy" Z
Created by Swilium using DNA samples from Xavier, Wendy was intended as a girlfriend. She was made as an amalgamation of what Swilium viewed to be Tala and Xavier's best traits, but he viewed Wendy as a failure, and rejected her in the end anyway. After running away, she eventually found her way to Talan, and then to Power Academy. Her power comes from a magic sketchbook; anything Wendy draws comes to life.
In combat, she can use this as a support power, and can also mimic some enemies' abilities. Can be romanced by a female or male player character.
- Art Initiates Life
- Artificial Human: Originally intended as a girlfriend for Swilium, but she was rejected.
- Attractive Bent-Gender: When hit with a gender-flip ray. Where she normally has a deep male voice, male!Wendy gains a high-pitched female voice.
- Bifauxnen: Has a very masculine figure, with only her chest, face and hips coming out "right" in Swilium's eyes.
- Buxom Is Better: Swilium certainly thought so when designing her. She even mentions that she's tied with Beth and Alice for largest bust size out of the party.
- Cool Ship: For large-scale missions, Wendy flies around in a large floating pod with a desk to draw on.
- Girly Girl: To Tala's tomboy.
- Gay Option: For female player characters.
- Heroic BSoD: Upon meeting Xavier, she does not take it well, believing herself to be "a copy of a copy". She gets out of it though.
- Innocent Fanservice Girl: She doesn't try to be fanservicey—she just is.
- Nice Girl
- Non-Action Girl: Usually, she lets her drawn creations do the fighting for her.
- Powered Armor: At a high enough level, wears a drawn set of powered armor.
- During the fight where Isaac loses his arm, Wendy jumps in with one of his armor suits and saves him.
- Rapunzel Hair
- Reluctant Fanservice Girl
- Rose-Haired Sweetie
- Statuesque Stunner
- Vocal Dissonance: Has a deep male voice despite appearing female. Inverted with her gender-flipped form, where she gains a high-pitched feminine voice.
- Who Wears Short Shorts?
- Wholesome Crossdresser: Wore the male uniform for a time.
- Younger Than They Look: Chronologically less than a year old, but with the appearance and mindset of an 18-year-old.
One of two otherworldly creatures that managed to follow Gill through the Void as he crossed from his timeline to the alpha timeline. Prexcilia is hellbent on revenge on Gill for stealing a sentient stabilizer gauntlet (which happens to be Tripp), and on Willow for taking out both her eyes, caused when she attacked them on their way through the timestream. She is assisted reluctantly by her brother Quasar.
Prexcilia has a very unusual fighting style; she relies upon a d20, rolled for a random effect. The amount of damage she does is based on what she rolls. Can be romanced by a female player character.
- Affably Evil
- Anti-Villain: She's not really evil per se; she just wants revenge.
- Antiquated Linguistics: The last time she and Quasar visited Earth was in the 1920s. It shows. Hilarity Ensues!
- Beware the Silly Ones
- Blind Seer
- Confusion Fu
- Defeat Means Friendship / Promoted to Playable: Can join the party after being defeated.
- Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunette
- Enemy Mine: She's quite clearly a villain, but recognizes that Terminus, Jonathan Knight, et al are a bigger and more imminent threat to everybody, such that she can't just sit on the sidelines and let them run rampant.
- Eye Scream: Lost her eyes to Willow.
- Happy Fun Ball: Her weapon of choice is a d20. Whatever it lands on determines the kind of attack she uses.
- Humanoid Abomination
- Mechanically Unusual Class
- Morality Pet: Her relationship with the evil Helena is pure Pet the Dog for the latter.
- Reality Warper
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: Red to Quasar's Blue.
- The Rival: To Gill.
- Roaring Rampage of Revenge: Towards Gill, over her eyes.
- Straight Gay: At first glance, it's likely she's asexual, considering how alien her origins are. However, the people she can be attracted to all happen to be women.
- Troll: Enjoys messing with others.
- What Is This Thing You Call "Love"?: While she is unfamiliar with human emotion, she is receptive of a potential love interest's feelings for her.
- Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds
Gifted with a special voice, Alderon's brother Swilium made the most of it and practiced its magical power...by stealing everything he ever wanted. He has come to Power Academy to perfect his voice and find his old friend. He has wrecked his family life, inadvertently gotten his girlfriend killed, and recently learned to sing an ancient language that grants him these abilities. His family line has roots as bards to a king.
- The Bard
- Cain and Abel: With Alderon.
- Cool Gun: His magic flintlock pistol, likely an Atop the Fourth Wall Shout-Out. No spirits inhabiting it though.
- Defeat Means Friendship / Promoted to Playable: Joins the party after they defeat him in his boss fight.
- Dirty Coward
- Dogged Nice Guy: Becomes this for a female player character, regardless of morality.
- Even Evil Has Standards: He is strictly a thief and would never kill anyone.
- Every Scar Has a Story / Scar Survey: A character close to (or romancing) Swilium can learn about his scars. Doubles as a nice Shirtless Scene.
- Evil Brit: Has a classic RP accent, just like his parents.
- Gay Option: For male player characters.
- HeelFace Turn: Can potentially be turned away from his evil path.
- Hidden Depths: See above.
- Jack-of-All-Trades: Given the variety of spells at his disposal.
- Make Me Wanna Shout
- Musical Assassin: Literally.
- Pretty Boy
- The Rival: To Talan.
- Smug Snake
- Starter Villain
- Thou Shalt Not Kill: See Even Evil Has Standards.
- Vitriolic Best Buds: With Simon, to an extent.
- White Hair, Black Heart: Downplayed; he's not so much evil as he is a selfish jerkass, thus making him more a case of...
- Wicked Cultured
One of Swilium's clone projects, Xavier was originally intended as a sidekick and boyfriend. He eventually ran away after Swilium and him got into a fight. Xavier has since spent his days jumping from job to job, trying to make his way. Eventually, he found his way to Power Academy. His power comes from an enchanted sketchbook; whatever he draws and then erases becomes physically manifested.
Can be romanced by a male or female player character.
- Art Initiates Life
- Artificial Human
- Bishōnen: Albeit a well-muscled variety.
- Deadpan Snarker
- Even the Guys Want Him
- Gay Option: For a male player character in the game.
- Kiss Me, I'm Virtual: He was originally created by Swilium as a romantic partner, but he couldn't stand his creator's unwelcome advances and ran away.
- Mr. Fanservice: Handsome, muscular, long pretty pink hair...
- Shrinking Violet: Tends to be shy around others.
- The Stoic: Helena describes him as having no sense of humor.
- Support Party Member
- Twin Threesome Fantasy: During a truth or dare game, he admits wanting to try this with Emily and Jana.
- Younger Than They Look: Physically and mentally 18 years old, but chronologically 8.
Guest Star Party Members
A self-styled "agent of chaos," Adrian came to Paranorm to perfect his skills for his calling in life: becoming a badass criminal mastermind. He's just not very good at it...at all. Many of his schemes either fall completely flat or are often inadvertently undone by his own actions. Even so, he presents a credible (if minor) threat in his sidequest chain. In the end, though, he doesn't really want to be a criminal mastermind; he just wants to be badass and for people to take him seriously. When the party defeats him, they have the option of either sending him off to jail or recruiting him as a student at the Academy (and a future Guest-Star Party Member).
While not a superhuman per se, Adrian specializes in concocting various poisons, potions, etc. to assist him in combat.
- Anti-Hero: He would be an Anti-Villain if he didn't completely fail at it.
- Badass Normal
- The Barnum
- Boxed Crook: By the end of his sidequest chain, should the PC decide to bring him into the Academy.
- Casanova Wannabe: He hits on nearly every female party member.
- Deadpan Snarker
- Declarative Finger: Often uses this when he says something he thinks to be profound. "Thinks" being the key word here.
- Defeat Means Friendship: In the game's prologue, he challenges the player character to a fight. It completely backfires. Later, he can become a Guest-Star Party Member once his sidequest is finished.
- Dirty Coward
- Every Man Has His Price: Has the ability to bribe sentient enemies to fight for the party during a battle. This is somewhat Played for Laughs in execution, as this requires the player character's money to work...so Adrian covertly pickpockets some money off of her/him to do it. It can still fail, however.
- Hat Gas Mask, Longcoat
- HeelFace Turn: In both the forum and the game, he eventually makes an honest attempt to clean up his act. In the former, it happens when Willow appeals to his conscience.
- I Just Want to Be Badass: His entire motivation.
- Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain
- Item Caddy: He has to craft items in order to be useful in battle. However, he can carry more items.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He's not so much evil as selfish.
- Master Poisoner
- Screams Like a Little Girl
- Smug Snake
- Snake Oil Salesman: A modern-day black market variant.
- Spiky Hair
- Trench Coat Warfare
- Troll: At one point, he even grins and asks, "Problem?"
- Zero-Effort Boss: In the fight tutorial. A single well-placed roundhouse is all it takes.
Descending from an isolated Native American tribe, Claire was born with the ability to manipulate plasma. She was recruited into an order of elite assassins at a young age, trained to be a powerful and stealthy assassin. In her travels, she encountered Gill; the two often fought, but soon fell in love with each other. On one occasion, though, Gill escaped through a portal; Claire gave chase, but was trapped within a dimensional anomaly. She was eventually freed when Val and Anna stumbled across her during a chase with Fate, and she ended up at Power Academy in the present day.
In combat, beyond using plasma blasts, Claire can manipulate plasma to use as a targeting laser or to clear out the fog of war.
- Badass Native: She avoids the cliches associated with the trope, however. She is given special treatment not for being Native American, but for her rare plasma powers.
- Dark-Skinned Redhead
- Dating Catwoman: With Gill.
- Deadpan Snarker
- Energy Weapon: Her plasma powers.
- Fashionable Asymmetry: The custom-created outfit she makes for herself.
- Assassin With a Heart
- Icy Blue Eyes
- Lady of War
- Lightning Bruiser
- Official Couple: With Gill.
- Tricked-Out Gloves: Her obsidian gauntlets, with quartz insets built into the palms. Claire uses these to channel her powers.
- You Gotta Have Blue Hair: She has red hair, but her highlights change color depending on the light.
Dahlia Tartakovsky (nee Reznov)
Dahlia is the daughter of Armin Tartakovsky, CEO of the BioCorp genetic engineering company. She was accidentally exposed to a chemical at a young age that granted her invisibility powers. She appears to be ordinary (as far as young socialites go), but the truth is a bit more complicated than that. Dahlia is actually Alexei's estranged daughter, given up for adoption when she was an infant. Once she learned the truth about her past, she became horrified to know she was the daughter of what she believed to be a vicious terrorist leader. As a result, she has dedicated her life to becoming an assassin, hunting down the worst criminals and those who deserve it.
In combat, she prefers to attack from range with her sniper rifle; in close quarters, she can switch to her parasol sword. In both cases, she can temporarily cloak for greater damage.
- Action Fashionista: Aside from her elegant attire, she also does some modeling as a side job/cover.
- Aloof Dark-Haired Girl
- Anti Heroine: Generally of the Knight in Sour Armor variety.
- Bad Guys Do the Dirty Work: Her assassination missions.
- Boom, Headshot!: One of her special abilities is a high-powered shot from her gun with a high critical hit chance.
- Cold Sniper
- The Comically Serious: Especially compared to many of the other students.
- Contralto of Danger: She tends to speak in a very subdued tone.
- Cool Sword: A razor-thin sword hidden in a parasol.
- Cultured Badass
- Glass Cannon
- Icy Blue Eyes: Notably, the same color as Alexei's.
- If It's You, It's Okay: For Willow.
- Lady of War
- Omniglot: She lists English, Russian, Italian, French, and German among the languages she speaks.
- Parasol of Prettiness / Parasol of Pain: A hybrid; she carries an elegant parasol which conceals a sword.
- Pay Evil unto Evil
- Professional Killer With a Heart
- Raven Hair, Ivory Skin
- Sexy Backless Outfit: Wears a sexy backless dress as part of her usual attire.
- The Stoic: Tends to be very stern and serious, except when around the people she cares about.
- Sugar-and-Ice Personality / When She Smiles: See above.
- Thicker Than Water: Defied. She has no sympathy for her father for his actions, despite not exactly being a paragon of goodness herself.
- Tomboy and Girly Girl: Girly Girl to Willow's Tomboy.
One of Alice's childhood friends and old sparring partners from their home in Alabama, Corvus' parents died in a monster attack when he was a young child. He was left to wander the wastelands with her and her family for years. Originally, when Alice was offered the chance to fight evil alongside Val and her other companions, Corvus refused the call, wanting to stay and protect his other friends and family. However, something has apparently changed, as he has suddenly arrived at the Academy...
- A Handful for an Eye: Corvus' melee attacks have a small chance to temporarily decrease an enemy's accuracy by throwing sand.
- Beauty Is Never Tarnished: A rare male variant. Even with the scars, he's noticeably handsome for having lived in the Outlands for nearly his whole life.
- Beware the Silly Ones: He might be a dedicated jokester, but he can get serious when he needs to.
- Buffy Speak: Often indulges in this.
- Childhood Friend Romance: Subverted. Though he and Alice knew each other since childhood, they just remained friends who sometimes had sex for fun. Corvus eventually realized he was more into men, but enjoyed his time with Alice nonetheless.
- Chivalrous Pervert
- Deadpan Snarker
- Dishing Out Dirt
- Earthy Barefoot Character / Does Not Like Shoes: Required for his earthbending abilities.
- Every Scar Has a Story / Scar Survey: A character close with (or romancing) Corvus can ask about the scars on his chest, mid-back and arm. Doubles as a nice Shirtless Scene.
- Genki Guy: Male example. He has some playful trickster tendencies, and in battle he tends to gush over cool moves in Buffy Speak.
- Innocent Fanservice Guy: Often walks around in just a pair of boxers when off-duty.
- Like Brother and Sister: With Alice—though the two were formerly Friends with Benefits.
- Mighty Glacier
- Pretty Boy
- Refused the Call: Subverted. He initially declines the chance to travel with Val and her companions, but later changes his mind.
- Sensitive Guy and Manly Man: Sensitive Guy to Alderon's Manly Man.
- Support Party Member: He focuses a lot on defense.
- Straight Gay: Played much more straight (no pun intended) than in Alderon's case.
- The Trickster
- Tunnel Network: He starts working on one for the Academy using his powers, which serves as a sort of fast-travel system for the school in the game.
- Walking Shirtless Scene: Often goes without a shirt—or at least wears outfits that leave his chest exposed.
Lei-Lani was taken from her home in Hawaii at a young age after her parents mysteriously died, brought to the mainland by Normco. Her original ability was an ultrasonic voice, but an accident in one of the testing labs shattered some containers. She was drenched in experimental chemicals from the containers which altered her abilities; she gained the ability to negate powers, but lost her voice (she can still talk, but barely).
Lei-Lani takes it upon herself to end fights with her power, being a walking deadzone for superpowers. Can be romanced by a male player character.
- Actual Pacifist
- Anti-Magic: Notably, she can also increase others' power as well as negating it.
- Bare Your Midriff: Her Normco jumpsuit exposes her midriff, an exception to the norm.
- Custom Uniform of Sexy: All of Team TTAR's jumpsuits are customized, but Lei-Lani's, which exposes her midriff, stands out in this regard.
- Floral Theme Naming
- Make Me Wanna Shout: Her original ability, before an accident at a Normco facility while training altered her powers.
- Parental Abandonment: Of the "dead parents" variety.
- Punch-Clock Villain
- The Quiet One: She speaks very rarely, but when she does, she makes it count.
- Rapunzel Hair
- Shrinking Violet
- Support Party Member
- Token Good Teammate: For Team TTAR.
One of the newer students at the Academy, Dawn is an inexperienced but enthusiastic battlemage. Raised in a remote forest in Japan, she's the latest in a long line of monster hunters dedicated to protecting the world from supernatural threats. As she came of age, she decided it was time to go into the outside world and
- Audience Surrogate: At times, considering her Naïve Newcomer status and unfamiliarity with the setting.
- Badass Adorable
- Beware the Nice Ones: Later in the story. The first time she stands up for one of her friends is a momentous occasion for her.
- Cool Sword: Two of them.
- Cute Clumsy Girl
- The Cutie
- D-Cup Distress: Downplayed; she's not happy about some of the attention she gets for her buxom figure, but doesn't make that big a deal out of it.
- Dual Wielding: Dual-wields two short swords.
- Elemental Powers: Wields a mix of fire, water, and electric spells, but hasn't fully mastered any of them.
- Fanservice with a Smile: See below.
- Grew a Spine: Her character arc in a nutshell.
- Human Mom, Non-Human Dad: Inverted; her father was human, while her mother is a shapeshifter.
- Hime Cut
- Knight Errant: Her profession.
- Little Bit Beastly: Has German Shepherd ears and a tail.
- Master of None: See above.
- Shrinking Violet
- Single Woman Seeks Good Man: Specifically, the kind of man who is willing to protect her (not that she can't handle herself).
A skilled young hacker, Shaun is one of the newer students at the Academy. Early on in the story, he is sent off on a mission to investigate Equinox's plans...and is found dead, believed to have been killed by Alexei. Don't get too attached.
- Apocalyptic Log: He has left a series of hidden messages for the party, where he details what he's found out during his undercover missions. Especially applies to his last message to the party, where he's surrounded by Vilhelm's forces (quickly closing in) and about to be dragged off to be turned into a cyborg.
- Body Horror: As a cyborg.
- Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Despite his perceived naivete, he appears to be very competent, even getting sent off on a mission on his own—sadly, that last part doesn't do him much good. Especially given that he looked at the wrong file at the wrong time.
- Chekhov's Gunman: During his search through Vilhelm's mainframe, he stumbled across files detailing Jonathan and Terminus' plans, as well as the latter's one weakness.
- Expy: Of Subject 16.
- Forgotten Fallen Friend: Averted. Shaun's death serves as an example to the rest of the heroes, and a constant reminder that they could lose their lives in the fight against evil.
- The Generic Guy: Even by his own admission, he kind of blends into a crowd, especially compared to everyone else.
- Glass Cannon
- Guest-Star Party Member: For a couple of battles.
- He Knows Too Much: The reason why Terminus has him killed? He learns the truth about her early on.
- Heart Is an Awesome Power
- Hero of Another Story: A story that gets cut short, but his own story nonetheless.
- Posthumous Character: He appears very briefly during the prologue (as part of a tutorial fight), then disappears once he goes on his mission. After that, it's all posthumous audio files.
- Sacrificial Lamb: His death demonstrates to the party that the missions they go on are, in fact, life-threatening, and the same thing could happen to them.
- The Smart Guy: So much so that during his final mission, he basically figures out the entire plot. Unfortunately, it's what gets him killed.
- Suspect Is Hatless: As a Running Gag, anyone who tries to physically describe him is simply at a loss for words. He's just that bland appearance-wise.
- We Hardly Knew Ye