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"I'm Crash Thompson, and remember: the only opinion that really matters is your own. Cheers."
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The Rock Critic is a YouTube music review and comedy channel run by Crash Thompson, running since August 2012.

As the name implies, the channel mainly focuses on rock music, as well as adjacent genres such as metal, alternative, and the occasional foray into pop (provided the artist in question either has or at some point in their career has had some sort of rock influence). The channel consists of full-length videos that delve into a specific album by a notable rock band - usually one that stands out sharply from the band's other output in some way, be it in sound or critical reception - in detail, lengthy retrospectives that cover the entire careers of bands across multiple full-length videos (The Rise And Fall Of Weezer and the Green Day Retrospective), "Quickies" which are shorter videos that cover recently released albums with Crash talking over footage of the band in question accompanied by brief visual gags, year-end lists of the best and worst albums of the preceding year, other series like Bad Album Covers and I Love This Song / I Hate This Song, all three of which are pretty self-explanatory, and a smattering of livestreams, Q&A videos, and subscriber specials, the three of which often overlap. He also has a second series on the channel called Game & Crash (formerly hosted on its own second channel) wherein he talks about video games. He's also one of the four commentators behind One Crazy Weekend, a wrestling podcast chronicling the many, many wrestling shows that occurred over Wrestlemania weekend of 2019.

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His channel can be found here, and his Twitter here.


Tropes:

  • Adorkable: Let's all be honest: Beneath the metal and rock exterior, Crash tends to be this.
  • Author Appeal: References to The Simpsons and Dragon Ball Z.
  • Beware the Silly Ones: Crash is arguably the nicest and friendliest reviewer to be seen on Youtube, but do NOT push his buttons. A particularly big example was how completely infuriated and disgusted he was with King 810's album La petite mort or A Conversation with God and the fact front-man David Gunn wants to be known for infamy than actual content.
  • Blasting Time: Has been shown to use this in his review of Bad Religion's Into the Unknown.
  • Broke the Rating Scale: "One More Light gets COMPLETE FUCKING DARKNESS...out of 5!"
  • The Cameo
    • In Bad Album Covers, Vol. 2, Luke Spencer, the Horror Guru, and Yomarz appear on a brief game show sketch to earn points by thinking up many dick innuendos in twenty seconds for an album cover with the title 'My Lips Are For Blowing'.
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    • Crash calls up Satanic Jackula on Skype in Bad Album Covers, Vol. 3 to make fun of how his face paint matches the face paint of a band in a bad album cover.
    • The Horror Guru sent a missile after Crash in his video review of Red Hot Chili Peppers' One Hot Minute album, because he didn't give a good review to Five Finger Death Punch's album, Got Your Six.
    • In the first episode of The Green Day Retrospective, ARTV appeared to throw rocks at Crash and make him build up Dookie because it's Crash's job and it has already taken Crash too long to get the retrospective started while it only took ARTV two months to review Green Day's entire discography.
      • Some Jerk with a Camera then appears, confused and infuriated that Green Day would turn down a free trip to Disneyland by a record label. Jerk silently grew angrier as Crash admitted he would turn down free Disneyland as well and would rather go to Universal Studios.
    • The Dom appears in QUICKIES!: Catch-Up Quickie #8 - Gotta Ketch 'Em Up to stop Crash's bad fake British accent.
    • In the second episode of the Green Day Retrospective, Lil' D.Va called up Diamanda Hagan on Skype to ask her if she knows anyone who can kill a Saiyan and then explains to Hagan why she needs Crash to be dead.
    • There's plenty on the third episode of the Green Day Retrospective. Because of a hysterical fit induced figuratively and literally by ¡Uno!, ¡Dos!, and ¡Tré!, Crash calls up The Dom and Calluna to tell them they have more subscribers than ¡Tré! sold on its opening week. They notice something is wrong with him and make a few phone calls. They got Crash's friend Nathaniel to give him some advice.
      • After recovering from his depressed state, he fights the eldritch abomination/amalgamation of the living albums (voiced by Il Neige), alongside Lil' D.Va, Nathaniel, and Conner and Lucas from the Geekery Collective.
      • When they failed, Crash creates a Spite Bomb made from the negative energy of numerous submitted cameos of both fans and reviewers, including reviewers TheHappySpaceman, Rosen Hacker, and Magnetrex.
    • Crash's Top Ten Worst Pitchfork Reviews has cameos from Mark of Spectrum Pulse, Luke of Rocked Reviews and viralrak, respectively covering the fourth, third and second entries on the list.
  • Casual Time Travel: How Past Crash traveled to the 'future' to meet Present Crash.
  • Cliffhanger: The second episode of the Green Day Retrospective ends with Lil' D.Va shooting Crash. Resolved in the next episode, it didn't work.
  • Cluster F-Bomb: Crash is known to be quite the colorful curser.
  • Constructive Criticism
  • Country Matters: Delivers a very blunt one towards King 810's La Petit Mort or A Conversation With God.
  • Damned by Faint Praise: He does try to be fair and give a compliment if an album really does deserve one.
  • Dead Horse Genre: Invoked by name at the start of Top 10 Best Nu-Metal Bands.
    "And you know, there's no better way to get back to basics than to do... what pretty much every internet reviewer is known for doing."
    *beat*
    "BEATING A DEAD HORSE! HOLY FUCK, DID NU-METAL SUCK ASS!"
  • Despair Event Horizon: Crash crosses it big time towards the end of his Green Day Retrospective 3 video, to the point where he flat-out abandons Lil' D.Va when things look most bleak and goes to drown his sorrows at a coffee shop. Thankfully, through the encouragement of one of his friends, he gets better.
  • Foreshadowing: Quite a lot of brief foreshadowing for his Games & Crash spinoff channel and the Green Day Retrospective in his One Hot Minute review.
  • Freudian Slip: He would've danced around in nothing but a tube sock after talking about his love for Red Hot Chili Peppers, but he couldn't find a sock small- LARGE...enough.
  • The Gadfly: To Satanic Jackula.
  • Human Aliens: Crash is a Saiyan.
  • Hyper-Competent Sidekick: Lil' (or Gremlin) D.Va.
    Lil' D.Va: You know, I'm the only one here who has experience in flying and operating high tech machinery, why the hell do you get to be the captain?!
  • Hypocritical Humor: Crash does a voice-over rant about Starbucks and their over-priced water-downed soy milk chai lattes in his review of One Hot Minute, then the video interrupts and cuts to Crash enjoying a soy milk Starbucks drink right before he drops it as he realizes his viewers are seeing him drink it.
  • I Hate Past Me: First invoked in the Rise And Fall Of Weezer episode on Make Believe, where he shudders at his past self's fandom of Seether after flashing back to his college days. Said past incarnation of Crash and his quintessentially 2000's "angsty" taste in fashion and music would become a recurring theme on the channel, coming to a head when Past Crash would travel to the present and this trope would be a central plot point of Top 10 Best Nu-Metal Bands.
  • It's Personal: When it comes to the end of the Hurly off The Rise and Fall of Weezer, Crash makes it clear the reason he reviewed the albums up to this point was because of how disappointed he was at Weezer becoming a shell of it's former self and not even with Hurly's okay reception was redeeming a band he once loved dearly.
  • It's the Same, So It Sucks: Invoked as a primary criticism of 21st Century Breakdown, having reviewed the album's predecessor in great detail immediately beforehand.
  • Jaw Drop: In his Top 10 Worst Pitchfork Reviews video, a particularly insane passage from their Kid A review that involves a stillborn child leaves Crash in slack-jawed shock.
  • Lampshade Hanging: Crash is now aware he has a TV Tropes page and has recently lampshaded at least two of the tropes found on this page.
  • Large Ham: The screaming he lets out at times should tell ya otherwise.
  • Left Hanging: Who did Diamanda Hagan recommend to Lil' D.Va to kill Crash and where were they?
  • Metalhead: Duh.
  • Neoclassical Punk Zydeco Rockabilly: He ends up trying to describe Igorrr as, "Death-Black-Metalcore-Throat Singing-Baroque-Industrial-EDM-Euro Folk-Harpsichord-Slamdance".
  • The Nicknamer: Whenever an album has a ridiculously long or vague-to-pronounce title, Crash would just nickname it with a shorter regular name like Davy, Chris, or Andy.
  • No Pronunciation Guide: Sometimes struggles with the pronunciations of particularly foreign or oddly spelled names of bands and band members, more often than not leading him to apologize for any mispronunciations.
  • O.O.C. Is Serious Business: Whenever he talks about growing up in a fundamentalist Christian church.
    • He also did a recent video about being a suicide survivor.
  • Panty Shot: Comes across one of these during "Bad Album Covers" on a particularly-campy cover for a recording of The Planets
  • Proud to Be a Geek: Cited as a large part of why Crash loves early, Blue Album-era Weezer so much, specifically the track In The Garage.
  • Running Gag:
    • "The Problem", whenever Crash considers the possibility that It's the Same, So It Sucks will be invoked, when discussing bands that have one specific approach to songcrafting that they stuck to throughout their career.
    • "The Imagine Dragon", whenever a band jumps on the trend of filing off their normal sound in favour of forgettable electronica.
    • Referring to the year 2018 as "I lived, bitch" during his Worst of 2018 list.
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: Pretty much what Lil' D.Va does when Crash reveals Warning is his absolute personal favorite Green Day album, which is supposed to be his most despised so they wouldn't receive massive amounts of hater comments.
    • Crash's response to the animate faces of the Green Day trilogy albums revealing themselves to be the cause of the impending apocalypse. At least at first.
  • Self-Deprecation: Appears often, though normally feels to be from a place of genuine humbleness.
  • Sensory Abuse: Both referenced and invoked in his review of Terminal Redux. Crash's biggest gripe with the album comes from David DiSanto's vocal style, and he illustrates this with a high-pitched whine during the review.
  • Shared Universe: Because of Crash's various cameos, mainly for/with Channel Awesome reviewers, the show is part of the Reviewaverse.
  • Shout-Out: Mainly to memes.
    Satanic Jackula: Why does anyone watch you?!
    Crash: Dank memes, BITCH!
    Suddenly surrounded by flashing and noisy memes while his expression remains.
    • The entire first few minutes of "Green Day Retrospective: Part 2" has Li'l D.Va doing a beat-for-beat reinterpretation of The Filthy Frank Show as a cover for an attempt to assassinate Crash before he destroys the city.
    • Tends to occasionally pronounce the word "Dick" as "D'yuck", such as in his review of A Moon-Shaped Pool
  • Significant Wardrobe Shift: At the end of his Best And Worst Albums of 2015 video, Crash retired his fedora he'd been wearing since the start of the channel, to be replaced by a black beanie, along with a denim vest with band buttons and patches. Crash hated the fedora for years and wishes he'd made the change a lot sooner.
  • Signing Off Catchphrase: "I'm Crash Thompson, and remember: the only opinion that really matters is your own. Cheers."
  • Spin-Off:
    • Critical Condition, his series on Metal Sucks where he reviewed specifically metal albums. The series ended in 2016 due to Crash's packed schedule, although he did briefly come back in May 2017 for a one-off episode on Danzig's Black Laden Crown, the follow-up to Crash's pick for Worst Album of 2015.
    • Game & Crash, his second channel dedicated to video games.
  • Squee!: Whenever he finds a camp or a 'gay' album cover, which has always happened in his three Bad Album Covers videos.
  • Story Arc: Starts at the end of the first episode of the Green Day Retrospective, and ends with the third episode. Turns out Lil' D.Va was from the future, sent to the past by the South Korean armed forces to stop Indianapolis from blowing up later in 2017. According to Lil' D.Va, the aftermath of the explosion will destroy the country and then eventually the world. Lil' D.Va only estimated Crash will be the cause since his Super Saiyan mode in his review of Raditude actually destroyed an entire city block, and it's more than likely that a bigger reaction to Green Day's worst albums will cause the End of the World as We Know It. But she was actually wrong, Crash wasn't exactly the cause. He wasn't powerful enough, even at his strongest, to destroy the world. The living albums, ¡Uno!, ¡Dos!, and ¡Tré!, were behind it all. They were using Crash as a conduit to drain power from him while he talks about them, in order to be capable of regeneration and destroy the world to rebuild it in their image. Crash didn't fight them straight away alongside Lil' Diva because he was in a depressed state and unable to care, instead he left. After he recovered, he fights an eldritch tentacled fusion of the living albums with his Saiyan powers, alongside Lil' D.Va in a mech, his friend Nathaniel with a baseball, and Conner and Lucas from The Geekery Collective (both have light sabers, additionally Conner has a sword and Lucas has an axe). When they failed, after an unseen fight with kung-fu, light saber battles, explosions, and fire breathing hookers, Lil' D.Va, Nathaniel, Conner, and Lucas stall the albums. Crash flies up and summons a Spite Bomb from the negative energy of people pissed off at the mediocrity of the albums. He drops it down on the albums, but he ran out of energy to ignite the bomb and destroy the albums. Until Lil' D.Va flies in and crashes into the albums. She ignited the bomb with her ultimate and destroyed the albums, thus preventing the apocalypse and completing her mission.
  • Suddenly SHOUTING!: From his review of Girl Band's Early Years EP:
    "...if the album they release next month sounds anything like this EP...then...how can I put this...FUCKING BURN EVERYTHING! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
  • Super Mode: Transforming into his Super Saiyan form to destroy Raditude in his rage at the end of the Rise And Fall Of Weezer episode on said album.
  • Super Strength: Sent a missile flying back...with a baseball bat. Done quite casually actually.
  • Super Toughness: Lil' D.Va tried to kill him with a grenade, then with a cannon, and then tried to drown him. Nothing works.
    "Even if you were here, I'm Saiyan, y'know. Bullets don't even really hurt me that much."
  • Take That!: To overrated albums and hater/troll commenters.
  • “The Reason You Suck” Speech: Most notably near the end of his Top 10 Best Nu-Metal Bands video, delivered directly to his "past self" and indirectly to the genre itself:
    Present Crash: Dude, there is just... there is no way I could've been this stupid growing up. There just isn't! Like, I'm sorry, but you are a fucking dumbass. There is seriously something very wrong with you.
    Present Crash: NO WE ARE NOT THE SAME! I grew up! I matured! I moved past all this bullshit!
    Look, you've shown us some decent nu-metal bands here today - hell, some were actually really good, and probably do deserve more credit. But look at the damage this genre did as a whole. It blurred everything. By mixing all of these different genres together and doing it so half-assedly and lackluster, it just... resulted in this deluge of bland, boring, unbelievably insubstantial bands. Mediocre at everything, excelling in nothing. There may have been a few bands that went against that trend and got the recipe right, but for every nu-metal or alt-metal or whatever you wanna call it that did get it right, fifteen got it wrong. And these assholes completely clogged the market. The image of the angry, pissy, spoiled white boy became synonymous with the rock and metal image itself. That's what nu-metal did. Nu-metal made us look bad.
    Nu-metal spoiled us rotten! And as a result... people fled.
    People left rock and metal in droves. People got sick of listening to someone bitch about their bullshit problems, when they already had plenty of problems to deal with in their own lives. They got sick of the samey, ceaselessly repeating melodies and hooks, they got sick of the mealey-mouthed, soulless, personality-less drones creating generic product after generic product after generic, pandering, useless, empty product!
    Nu-metal hurt us in ways that we're still trying to recover from, even today, rocker and metalhead alike, and... the fact that you would put one of the best bands in the freaking world on this list... it just blows my freaking mind. What is your fucking malfunction!?
    • This was immediately counteracted by his past self, which his present self took to heart and in turn delivered a more optimistic Rousing Speech to close out the episode.
    • He ends his review of The Order Of Things with one of these directed at frontman Philip Labonte, which turns out to be lyrics from the next album he's about to review, Sturm Und Drang.
    • His video on the Top 10 worst Pitchfork reviews has Crash unloading on the website's snobbish elitism after a bitter, nonsensical review of Lateralus:
    Crash: It’s what kills a lot of Pitchfork’s reviews, and even a lot of their non-review related content. Just…the contempt. Absolute, searing contempt…for the artist, for the audience, for their own fucking readers! This goddamn website has such a bad habit of telling people how small and insignificant and stupid they are to be a part of something, or to want to be a part of something. And this review in particular is just dripping with that kind of hostile, absolutely disgusting contempt. It’s gatekeeping of the absolute worst kind, and its only real purpose is to make you feel bad, feel lesser, feel out of the loop. WE. ARE. BETTER. THAN. YOU.
  • Theme Tune: "Lexicon Devil" by The Germs.
  • This Is Gonna Suck: The cold open of his One More Light review:
    Crash: Jesus fucking Christ!
  • Waxing Lyrical: During his massive, massive tirade against the Uno-Dos-Tre trilogy in his GDR 3 video, Crash lets loose:
  • Wham Line: An absolutely devastating one in his video about Chester Bennington's suicide:
    Crash: "...I put a loaded shotgun in my mouth and pulled the trigger. The only reason I'm still alive is because that gun misfired."
  • Where No Parody Has Gone Before: Throughout the first episode of the Green Day Retrospective, Lil' D.Va as Scotty tries to ensure the 'spaceship' has enough power to repel the typical hater comments to his unexpected opinions of Green Day's early albums.
  • World of Weirdness: Since the show is set in the Reviewaverse, weirdness is a natural part of the setting. For example, Crash not only being an alien, but a fictional alien species from an anime.
  • Yuri Fan: Part of his love for Tegan & Sara.
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