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- Gag Censor: 'I THINK WE CAN ALL AGREE THAT BOOBS ARE AWESOME
- Gag Dub: The Duras Sisters' dialogue from Generations was transplanted onto a Dalek, then a Cylon, and finally Londo Mollari to illustrate that anybody could replace the sisters and not make a difference in the movie.
- Gag Sub: The Astromech Spy series is this for R2-D2's "dialog" in Star Wars. Turns out that R2 is something of a Jerkass.
- The "Whale Conversation" in Star Trek IV. Turns out that the Whale Probe is a Jewish Mother.
- Genius Bonus / Overly Long Gag: Wall-E drinking in the sight of EVE. His pick-up line is the mathematical formula for graphing an egg shape.
- In the "Torment of Tantalus" review the team stumbles on a sort of "universal language" made of holograms of all the elements on the periodic table, which Daniel thinks could be the answer to "life, the universe, and everything" (slight paraphrase by Chuck but that's basically what Daniel says in the episode). Chuck comments that Molybdenum is probably the answer. The atomic number of Molybdenum is 42.
- When giving his score for "11001001", the text below the score is the hexadecimal translation of; "The Quick Brown Fox Jumps Over The Lazy Dog".
- Genre Savvy: In "Remember Me", Beverly figures out that Wesley's warp bubble experiment is causing the anomaly of the week because it's the only other notable thing in the episode.
- George Lucas Altered Version: Virtually all of his episodes that were taken down from YouTube and reuploaded to Blip were re-recorded, usually with much better sound quality (because he has a better mic), though most were also re-written to varying extents. Occasionally, fans will remark that they preferred his original delivery of a given joke.
- Chuck also started off reviewing the original versions of Star Trek: The Original Series episodes, even giving a lengthy explanation in the first episode he covered ("Space Seed") that he would not mock the effects simply because they were bad (since they were made in The '60s). For unexplained reasons, he switched to reviewing the "remastered" episodes with the CGI effects when he moved to Blip (even though he pointedly did not do so with Red Dwarf).
- The Ghost:
- "Lieutenant Nobody" in Star Trek: First Contact, the Enterprise-E's presumed tactical officer before Worf came aboard, who Chuck invents to mock the fact that no such character appears in the film. Over the course of the review he then becomes a Hypercompetent Sidekick who is utterly ignored by Picard and the others.
- Larry the Invisible Interior Decorator from Sarek.
- "Extra Man" from Voyager. His one line is a momentous occasion in the "Basics" review. Even funnier: "Extra Man" is one of the few background characters who gets lines and a canon name spoken on screen. He's Lieutenant Ayala.
- In a real-life example, Michael Wagner, who was TNG's showrunner for four episodes between the departure of the much-despised Maurice Hurley and the arrival of Michael Piller, who helped the show fully grow the beard. The only time Chuck actually mentions Wagner by name is in the review of "Evolution"; every other time he's just referred to as "some other guy."
- A God Am I: The interpretation Chuck gives to Kirk's statement at the end of Star Trek V that "Maybe God isn't out there; maybe he's right here [points to self]". It's obviously meant to imply that if God exists he could be in all of us, but coupled with Kirk and Shatner's ego it does give the impression that he's declaring himself God.
- Good Angel, Bad Angel: Janeway in "Year of Hell", though she's too agnostic to recognize angels, and the devil is too dimwitted. Instead, she winds up with "Shoulder Atom", "Shoulder Cowboy" (Who just wants to get out of there and he never comes back), "Alternate Shoulder Cowboy" (obviously the devil again, except wearing a stetson hat), and a tarantula who suggests eating everybody.
- Shows up again in "Scientific Method" where this time, the tarantula has taken Shoulder Cowboy's hat (and identity). Janeway can't tell the difference.
- Good Is Dumb: Actually, because the Mirror Universe inverts everything, it becomes "evil is dumb".
- A Good Name for a Rock Band: Reviewing the Babylon 5 episode "Rumors, Bargains, and Lies", Chuck makes the following crack about the White Stars:
- Given a Brick Joke later in the review:
"So we have the two plots: Sheridan trying to get the Non-Aligned Worlds to accept White Star protection... (beat)
I was wrong, it sounds like a toothpaste."
- Good Ol' Boy: He interprets Trip Trucker as a stereotypical Deep South redneck turned Up to Eleven.
Chuck: Tucker's grinning just like he caught himself a prize coon!
- It seems the Enterprise writers may have been (ill-advisedly) going for this. See SF Debris's mocking Tucker's stereotypical love of catfish in the review of "Unexpected" and the baffling revelation in "Shuttlepod One" that Tucker, a chief engineer on a starship, supposedly has difficulty with basic pseudo-algebraic word problems and the just plain idiotic revelation in "...These Are The Voyages" that Trip learned starship engineering from fixing boats. It seems as though the writers forgot he was supposed to be a talented technician and just wrote him as a sort of 'George Bush in Space'.
- Good Old Ways: discusses the topic, particularly the Ludd Was Right aspects, during his review of "Paradise" (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) and Star Trek: Insurrection. While he is personally not a fan of "Everything was better in the past," and especially dislikes Ludd Was Right tropes, he accepts that some people feel this way. He does, however, say technology has both good and bad sides, and to whitewash one side or the other is ignorant.
- Got Me Doing It: "Translator Girl" in Miracle Day. It got so bad that Chuck randomly responded, "ACTING Grand Nagus Brunt! ...oh wait, wrong stupid, dead gag."
- Gory Discretion Shot: Any shot that results in massive body rending will usually result in Chuck covering it up with footage of kittens playing in a laundry basket.
- Government Agency of Fiction: Frederic Lance, from the Ministry of Important Bearded Guys. ("The Fall of Night")
- In his review of Threshold (the series) several agents arrive from the Federal Department Of Too Late.
- Gretzky Has the Ball: This is one of his favorite metaphors for how to describe bad technobabble. ("Prototype")
"You know it sounds like crap, and the more you know about it, the worse it is!"
- Guns Are Worthless: Often points this out when ever phasers do not knock out a person but just make them stumble or fall over, not even reacting in pain.
- When Transformers: The Movie actually averts this, he posits that the Decepticons managed to conquer Cybertron thanks to Megatron's diabolical and unorthodox scheme to "...make guns that actually kill people".
- Harmless Villain: Mocks the Voyager writers for the fact that they seriously thought that the Kazon were any way intimidating. Chuck repeatedly jokes that the Kazon think a "secure prison" is a line on the floor you're told not to cross.
- Goes onto point out that the writer's attempt to reverse this made it even worse, since they had to be taking direction from Seska (a Cardassian) in order to become dangerous. They were so pathetic as adversaries they couldn't even succeed on their own merits, so they had to rely on a member of an already credible race to beat Voyager for them.
- Not-So-Harmless Villain: Subverted. Chuck believes the only reason the Kazon were able to take over Voyager during "Basics" was because the crew of Voyager happen to be just as stupid as they are.
- He's less critical of Enterprise-D crew being fooled by the Pakleds in "Samaritan Snare", because it's obvious they know the Pakleds are morons and simply thought they were simply too dumb to try anything. Also the solution to the problem ultimately does rely on the Pakled's honestly being as dumb as a post.
- Head-Tiltingly Kinky: His guess as to what the hell Joker's watching on his private monitor.
- The Heart: He brings up Tilly of Star Trek: Discovery as this. In fact he contrasts her to Starfleet's usual counselors in other series and finds Tilly much better.
Chuck: And this is why putting a counselor on the ship next to the Captain is a mistake. You just need every ship to be assigned a Tilly, and you won't need one.
- Heroic BSoD: During the review for "Tinker, Tenor, Doctor, Spy," a Fan Disservice scene involving The Doctor imagining that he's playing grab-ass with Janeway causes Chuck to shut down like HAL from 2001: A Space Odyssey. He has to reboot in the same manner as Robocop to resume the review.
- Heteronormative Crusader: Brings this up in "Suddenly Human," where a human boy is adopted by an alien culture and insists he is one of them, while Picard insists he is human. Chuck likens this to adults insisting to transgender or homosexual children that they are not, "stop thinking that way." His point can be a bit undermined by the fact that most gay/transgender people don't murder a kid's parents and effectively kidnap them to be raised in LGBT culture... Or that he freely admits that he made up this theory because the episode was so tedious that he was trying to find some way to make it interesting.
- Hide Your Gays: According to Chuck, the Federation in Star Trek apparently had a huge debate where they decided to implement every single liberal social and economic idea — so long as the gays all went back in the closet. While he brings this up in various reviews, he focuses on it the most in the review of the "The Outcast", which was supposed to be a Very Special Episode serving as Trek's way of (very subversively) addressing LGBT issues. He notes the ridiculousness of having an episode specifically for that purpose, wherein even the possibility of anything other than a heterosexual relationship is never mentioned.
- Hilarious in Hindsight: Defied in his review of Star Trek IV. Sulu said he was born in San Francisco, but Chuck said it was just too easy.
- In the Show Within a Show of "Author, Author," the Doctor has made his own holo-novel with silly characterizations loosely based off the crew, and most of them are dead-accurate to Chuck's Alternate Character Interpretation invoked for everyone, including Janeway as a ruthless, gun-polishing tyrant named Jenkins. Chuck says it's as if somebody tried to write a Voyager episode based only off his reviews. One can only imagine how he'll react to "Living Witness".
- As it turns out, he did review "Living Witness" and called the characters in it mild exaggerations of their usual selves. Incidentally, the episode also got a 10, although not because of that.
- In the My Little Pony review, Rainbow Dash asks if Twilight is a spy, prompting Chuck to say that they should do a blood test to check if any of them are changelings. Cue the season 2 finale...
- During the "A Night in Sickbay" review, Chuck likened the episode to a big screen juvenile comedy with Jack Black, commenting how "Jack Black isn't likely to start peeing on things... well, you never know." That same day was the release of the big screen juvenile comedy "Gulliver's Travels" which featured a scene of Jack Black peeing on things (although it should be noted that in this was an actual scene in the original "Gulliver's Travels," so it's not like it was added for juvenile comedy).
- In his review of "Ties of Blood and Water", after Weyoun demonstrates the Vorta poison immunity by drinking some poison wine, Chuck mentions that a few months prior to the release of the review, scientists discovered that there is a creature that can actually counteract poisons naturally, even those of creatures it never came in contact with. Which creature? The possum. As Chuck puts it "Yes, Weyoun has an ability found in a creature that appears to die but you'll wind up seeing him walk around later".
- He likes to make fun of the fact that a late DS9 episode shows Curzon Dax was said to have gone Out with a Bang with Vanessa Williams whenever earlier episodes bring up Curzon's passing or just how old he was.
He died yelling at doctors and friends who were trying to keep him alive for one more miserable day. Chuck:
Yeah, that sounds better than the truth... That Vanessa Williams Jamaharoned
him to death.
- Hilariously Abusive Childhood: Janeway's father wasn't a believer in birthday parties. "He would just put my sister and I in a pit, and whoever crawled out first got a gift."
- Hit You So Hard, Your X Will Feel It!: See Jeffrey Combs, under "Actor Allusion."
- Scotty couldn't care less if you insult Kirk. But if any Klingon talks shit about the Enterprise, "he's gonna get hit in the face so hard, his whole race will lose their forehead ridges."
- Hitler Ate Sugar: Ever-so-subtly implies that Janeway and Chakotay need to work on hiding their suspicions of each other. (VOY: "The Voyager Conspiracy")
Janeway: Sooo... you're in the cargo bay! You know who else likes cargo bays? HITLER!!
Chakotay: Hmmmmmmmm... that's just the KIND OF THING HITLER WOULD SAY!!
- Hitler Cam: Chuck notes the show's tendency to make Janeway and/or Kate Mulgrew seem taller than she really is in his review of the episode "Parallax", showing a montage of such shots as the song "Big in Japan" plays.
- Hold Your Hippogriffs: He criticises Voyager's use of these, such as "I didn't want to be a third nacelle", arguing that we still use phrases now such as "putting the cart before the horse" out of habit even though technology has moved on.
- Hollywood Tactics: Calls out Starfleet on its abysmal small arms tactics, especially in Star Trek: Nemesis and even more so in the Voyager episode "Deadlock."
Chuck: [from "Deadlock"]
What follows is a ship defensive effort that makes Star Trek Nemesis
look like 300
. Tuvok and a nameless security officer exit the turbolift, knowing they're going up again hostile aliens, without the least bit of caution. And it only get worse from there! Tom Paris and nameless extras are running away up a corridor, but they keep running past obvious points of cover, preferring to be out in the middle of the hall while wearing a bright red shirt, a technique whose ineffectiveness was proven when the British lost
to an army of farmers
lead by a Virginian surveyor
- Honor Before Reason: Used in "Sleeping Dogs," where T'Pol says the Klingons don't equip their ships with distress beacons or escape pods, as they only believe in dying at their posts (even when their post is about to be crushed by a gas giant). Chuck points out how this is quickly averted, as a Klingon crewman steals their shuttlepod and tries to make a break for it.
- In a Meta example, Chuck specifically played the main character of the first Knights of the Old Republic game as an ends justifying the means Grey Jedi, despite the fact that the game's Morality Meter is set up to reward people taking one side of the force over the other.
- Hope Spot: Occasionally happens with Neelix. A great example is "Author, Author", in which Neelix actually manages to get through to the Doctor on the issues his holonovel is causing in a subtle, non-annoying way... and then he brings up another one of his "Talaxian Sayings".
- Ho Yay: Invoked in his review of the Doctor Who episode "Gridlock" he mentions that, as far as he's concerned, Nyssa and Tegan are the first homosexual couple in DW history. He considers them having sex for the first time (in Fan Fic) equally as groundbreaking and important as the Face of Boe's final words to the Doctor.
- How Can Santa Deliver All Those Toys?: A 2012 Christmas special short story "You Better Watch Out" (both text and video versions) presents an alternative interpretation of the history of Santa Claus (He was a con man in Austria whose punishment after death is to live up to his own and, later everybody else's description of himself), time is stopped while he makes his deliveries, but with a twist. When he wakes up the next morning, it's Christmas eve of the following year.
- This is what catapulted Santa to the top of the Forbes magazine Fiction 500: He is literally cursed with infinite wealth.
- Humanity Is Infectious: This is Chuck's theory on why the Tenth Doctor feared regeneration as if it were actual death when none of the others did; he was still carrying around a bit of the John Smith persona, which would not survive the personality rewrite.
- Hypercompetent Sidekick: Frequently lampshades this fact about Tom Paris;
Wait, so Let Me Get This Straight...
. Tom Paris not only flies the ship, the most important shuttle missions, is the field medic/assistant to the Doctor, has 24th century lock-picking ability... he's also a commando. Oh! And let's not forget he once designed an engine that goes to infinity. And this is the guy Starfleet doesn't
- Within thirty seconds of "Year of Hell", Paris shows mastery of engineering and history, and is then summoned to sick bay to conduct field medicine, "and none of these things are even his job." Chuck concludes Paris was held in some prison for savants.
- In "Persistence of Vision", he speculates that Tom Paris' complex relationship with his father is responsible. Instead of the hallucination telling Tom how proud he is of him, his take is that the hallucination began quizzing Tom on various topics from multiple fields and broke his spirit after he forgot one of the answers.
- Hypocrisy Nod: Overdubbing "Cotton Eye Joe" during Picard's dune buggy chase. Boy, what a bunch of schlock that was. Now stay tuned for the 2009 Star Trek review, "obviously a movie very, very different from this one!" [cut to Kirk fishtailing in his corvette to the same song]
- Hypocritical Humor: Directed either at the subject he is reviewing, or at himself, or both!
- ST: Insurrection: - the Cliff Notes version:
Picard: We will not allow anyone to take you away from your homes, your village, your way of life! [crowd cheers] Now pack your shit up, we're leaving. [crowd cheers] We will not allow them to corrupt your vision of a life free from technology and violence! [crowd cheers] Now, let's set up these transport inhibitors and follow the instructions of the android while my people get the guns and bombs in position.
- Janeway eulogizing Ensign Jetal ("Latent Image"):
- Tuvok yanking personal items off the persons of conscripted Maquis crewmen. ("Learning Curve") "We'll be flying through Borg space eventually, so we'll want you to be ready. You don't want to be transformed into identical drones whose every moment is mercilessly dictated to you, do you?"
- Joked about the tedious overabundance of "Lol-cats" you see posted on the internet... then did one a Sight Gag in his "Genesis" review.
- He opted to spare the rod with Lwaxana Troi, seeing as Majel Barrett is the First Lady of Trekdom and much-beloved.
Lwaxana: If only (humans) would say what they mean, instead of hiding it!
Chuck: Well, if you insist! (cue filibuster of hate)
- On his Mass Effect 2 review where he talks about Jennifer Hale losing a video game voice acting award to Tricia Helfer (who won for Starcraft II) and stating that having Tricia Helfer in a game does not make it better. A few minutes later the review shows a scene with EDI leading Chuck to state that he loves games featuring Tricia Helfer.
- The conspiracy nut in "Rose" who runs a Doctor-sighting website out of his suburban home.
Poor people. Having to put up with this hobby
taking over — (shouts at family
) Get Out!
! I told
you , I am not "playing," I. AM. WORKING!
Now get out
! (comes back
) Where was I?
- Janeway scoffing at the idea of praying for salvation from the Borg. "Prayer! How ridiculous. I'm gonna go talk to my animal spirit guide." ("Scorpion")
- "The Doctor's not terribly happy that someone would burn his favorite planet... well, his favorite planet now that Gallifrey is gone, ever since he— he burned it."
- In the Code Of Honor review, the third part has a rant about the villain abusing the word "honor". The first part features an extended joke, complete with clip show, about how it's just a common Klingon name for their genitals.
- Since Most Writers Are Male, it's odd that the male characters are always jealous types and the women can "switch their libido on/off like a lightswitch." Good thing we have Chuck to set those writers straight! ("Fascination")
"The only way for you to demonstrate true gender equality, Trek, is for women to have a catfight resulting in torn clothing and lots of heavy breathing!"
- During the Legend of Korra review, Chuck made a point of refusing to use "Zutara" because he hates combining the names of characters in general. Well, during the exact same video, he illustrates his level of engagement with the character of Mako, by calling him "Commander Makotay." Nicely played. That said, he also says in the same review that the only time it's all right by his account is if it's two characters literally fused together, giving the example of one of the Transformers comics where Megatron and Ratchet were fused in such a way, calling it "Mega Ratchet."
- The very first SFDebris video review had Chuck laughing at Chakotay's superstitions, wondering aloud whether he believes that taking someone's picture would steal their soul. Years later when making a cameo in one of Linkara's videos, Chuck does not appear in person (instead only his blue sun channel logo is shown), refusing to show his face because "cameras steal your soul". (This one probably qualifies as a very well done Brick Joke.)
- Dr. Crusher, the only sane person left on Enterprise-D? ("Remember Me") To paraphrase Kafka, in one woman's struggle against the world—! ...bet on the world.
We will start with the assumption that I am not
crazy! Do you concur, Dr. Arachnischnidt? Top hat-wearing tarantula with monocle:
- In the RoboCop (1987) review, while pretend-pondering what Robocop's fourth (classified) directive might be, Chuck lists a few possible options, before cutting to a short clip from an in-universe TV show, where the host's Catchphrase is "I'd buy that for a dollar!". Chuck laughs at this crappy catchphrase-based TV show, but adds his own catchphrase at the end of the sentence.
[The fourth directive might even be] to watch some crappy Catchphrase
comedy. But then again, I'm just a viewer with an opinion.
- I Call It "Vera": Chuck let slip he refers to his laptop as "Ruby".
- I Can't Believe I'm Saying This: In "Demon", Chuck claps his hands and tells everyone who is not Tuvok or Neelix to leave the room. When the goldshirts have all filed out, he grumbles that Neelix is being the reasonable one and Tuvok is being a douchebag, and he'll kill Neelix if he breathes word of this admission to anybody.
- Icon of Rebellion: He speculates that Amon will end up becoming the Guy Fawkes of the Avatar universe.
- Idiosyncratic Ratings Scale: Chuck rates Star Trek episodes on a 1-10 scale, with ratings relative to the series quality as a whole: an average-quality episode gets a 5, and he considers a DS9 5 a solid episode whereas a VOY 5 is generic schlock. He has not done this to date with Star Trek: Discovery, however, since the show is still airing. Other shows' episodes get ratings varying from "Must See" (Myth Arc episodes get this, even if mediocre) to "Strongly Recommended", "Recommended", "Fine", "Watchable", and "Skip".
- Idiot Plot: Invoked Not Chuck himself, but he WILL rip into any episode that does have one, especially if Kenneth Biller had anything to do with it. His review of the early season seven Voyager episode "Repression" is especially brutal for Chuck deconstructing why its plot about a rogue Bajoran vedek somehow managing to hack a Project Pathfinder transmission to Voyager, a recording of Tuvok's son, so he could subliminally activate brainwashing he did to Tuvok years before, so Tuvok can in turn brainwash the rest of the Maquis crew via Vulcan mind meld (which it has never been able to do before) into reverting into their pre-series selves as Maquis freedom fighters and restart the Maquis and fight the Cardassians, is brutal (bear in mind this episode takes place only a year or two after the end of the Dominion War, which left the Cardassian Union a shattered husk of its former, and Voyager is still stuck in the Delta Quadrant where they can't meaningfully do anything about it anyway).
Chuck: So, I give you all a Kenneth Biller tale; a pointless plan, involving implausible lengths, to form an unprecedented plot, to further an unneeded cause, in the name of defeating an adversary that's already vanquished, with a group that can't help anyway!
- I Just Shot Marvin in the Face: The intro to the Captain's Holiday review features the scene where Picard casually tosses a hand-held energy weapon into some bushes. This is followed by an amusing voice-over where a kid finds the weapon, vaporizes his own face with it while his mother screams in horror and all manner of chaos ensues. Well done, Captain.
- I Just Want to Be Badass: Posits in "Defiant", that one of the motives of Thomas Riker that caused him to join the Maquis cause was a desire to differentiate himself from Commander Riker. In comparison, Will Riker is considered as a hero in the Federation, offered commands and who got all the breaks; while due to a transporter accident duplicating him, the other Riker then spent 8 years alone on a barren planet, only to finally be rescued but find himself now living in his own shadow.
- I Know Mortal Kombat: Jokes that the closest he's come to military training is completing Mass Effect 2 on Insanity and spending hours shooting at Nazi-Zombies with his kids.
- I Need a Freaking Drink: Generations begins with what might be a fitting metaphor for the film: A bottle of booze!
"Like the viewers' hopes, the bottle's dashed within the first few minutes."
- One does not simply walk into VOY without rum. *sound of clinking ice* ("The Disease")
- He claims that whenever someone says "ancient" in Trek, he takes a drink. And not as a drinking game, but as a coping mechanism. From review of VOY's "The 37's".
- In "Booby Trap", Picard asks Riker if he's ever fantasized about bottled ships. Chuck retorts that he's crawled inside enough bottles thanks to "Profit and Lace."
- Internal Retcon: Believes Janeway in "Latent Image" ordering all evidence of Ensign Jetal erased from existence actually makers her crazier than his parody of her.
- I Resemble That Remark!: Battlefield Earth is put on hold for a moment to allow Chuck a chance to explain that online reviewers are known for their hyperbole, and his opinion may not be construed a truth. Nevertheless,
"This truly is one of the most amazingly awful works I have ever seen in my life. This film is a fractal of ineptitude, a huge piece of bad filmmaking that is shared by every individual piece as you zoom in on it further and further until you go beyond the subatomic and realize you're looking into the laughing visage of Satan and — okay, I kinda did descend into hyperbole, there..."
- I Take Offense to That Last One!: In "The Best of Both Worlds" Part 1.
...which considering the Borg love technology, is like thinking you can warn off a date rapist by saying you're wearing crotchless panties. You might say that's a tasteless metaphor. But you'd be completely wrong...it's a simile.
- In DS9 episode "A Time to Stand":
Jake: That's the kind of thing I would expect from an evil oligarchy bent on crushing the freedoms of everyone in the galaxy!
Weyoun: There you go with the negativity.
Jake: Well, it's true!
Weyoun: Absolutely not! It's not an oligarchy, it's a theocracy.
- Spock delivering the Exposition Dump for 'Balance of Terror":
Spock: (real dialogue)
As you may recall from your histories, this conflict was fought by our standards today with primitive atomic weapons— Chuck (as Archer): Hey! Spock:
—and in primitive space vessels. Chuck (as Archer):
HEY! Chuck (as Spock): ...Led by a collection of mentally disturbed, intellectually challenged apes, whose basic inability to function is an endless source of shame for Starfleet even today.
Chuck (as Archer):' HE—! ..Okay, I'll give you that one.
- I'm Thinking It Over!: "Resolutions"
Could we live with ourselves? Knowing we sent Voyager
into that kind of danger? (pregnant pause)
Captain—? Janeway: Quiet
, I'm thinking
- Improbably High I.Q.: In his review of ''The Nth Degree" after Barclay claims to have an IQ of 1200-1450:
- If You Die, I Call Your Stuff: The EMH calls dibs on Tom's Creed collection in "Threshold." Thanks, Doc.
- In the Future, Humans Will Be One Race: Or one culture, anyway. Chuck has taken TNG to task for its apparent belief that the ostensibly multicultural Federation thinks that Earth only follows Western conventions, namely weddings and family names.
- Incompetence, Inc.: Reenactments of B&B behind closed doors. Berman is convinced that Brannon's name is "Brandon" despite working with him for decades, and the duo refuse to field suggestions from any writer besides each other.
"How is it possible to know so little about science and fiction, and run a science fiction show?!" ("These Are the Voyages...")
- Incredibly Lame Fun: As "Innocence" opens, Chuck frantically tries to interest his audience in Marxist theory...
("I'd rather explore the life cycle of a fruit fly than sit through this slow motion collision between stupid and dull.")
- Informed Attribute: His irritation with Captain Okona being ladled with reverence by the Enterprise's crew for supposedly being a tough rebellious Han Solo-type rogue, when we see 'absolutely no evidence of this'', drives him to Unstoppable Rage.
- Insult to Rocks: To Counselor Troi in "Code of Honor": "Why don't you hold that lamp up, so the table isn't out-performing you in terms of helpfulness?"
- Would have compared "The Q and the Grey" to sitcoms, except that it would be an insult to sitcoms.
- When stacked next to "Twisted", "Threshold" comes out looking pretty good.
Chuck: "Threshold" was a slow car wreck. "Twisted" is like watching tarantulas fuck.
- "A Night In Sickbay" rode past character assassination all the way to "character lynching", then tied their remains to a car bumper until they exploded into blood and gibs.
- The time travel logic employed in Generations makes Hot Tub Time Machine look genius by comparison... if only because the latter contained tits.
- The homeworld of the Kelemane has a core made of tachyons. "Which is less scientific than a core made of fairy shit." ("Blink of an Eye")
- "I'd ask whatever it was Braga was smoking [when he wrote "Threshold"], but I get the feeling it's Cascade dish soap."
- "Our Man Bashir" was not dignified with the 'thinly-veiled James Bond' label. That presumes you're wearing a veil made of cellophane. (Famously, MGM's lawyers echoed that sentiment.)
- They say that an infinite number of monkeys and an infinite number of typewriters could eventually reproduce Shakespeare, but For "Profit and Lace"...
"Three monkeys, no typewriters, just a whole lot of masturbation and shit-throwing would've accomplished the same thing."
- "Way to Eden": Even as a flop, it's a flop.
- Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen: "The only reason this movie is not a sack of shit is because actual sacks of shit protested that this film would be harmful to their image."
- Intentional Engrish for Funny: "VOYAGER BRING GOOD THE KOMEDY!"
- Chekov insisting that he is "as Amerikan as apple cake!" (Star Trek IV)
- Ironic Echo: "I never trusted Troi's piloting, and I never will. I can never forgive her for the death of my fish." (First Contact)
- In the Star Trek: Nemesis review, while Picard and company are joyriding on the clearly pre-Warp planet and making a total spectacle of themselves, he dubs in some thoughts from a different Starfleet Captain:
Kirk: It seems impossible. A Star Captain's most solemn oath, is that he will he give his life, even his entire crew... rather than violate the Prime Directive.
- Eulogized the Borg Queen as a badly-conceived plot device, in ways and dimensions we cannot fathom. (First Contact) This is in reply to the Queen's sneer at Data for "thinking three-dimensionally."
- Star Trek: Insurrection: "This village is a sanctuary of life."
- In "Observer Effect", an infected Tripp is ready to throw in the towel.
Tripp: I remember Biology 101, Captain. Humans are carbon-based. Our immune system can't fight silicon.
Chuck: I remember "Shuttlepod One." What you know about biology can fit in a gnat's asshole.
- Riker wants to save his newfound love interest. Picard notes it's against the Prime Directive, but Riker remains angry. Chuck throws back the same words Riker said in "Pen Pals" to justify doing nothing to save an alien race:
Chuck: Hey Riker, "if there is a cosmic plan, is it not the height of hubris to think that you should interfere"? Funny that you'll calmly argue about letting a whole world die, but you'll unleash all hell when it comes to your cock. ("The Outcast")
- His response to Lwaxana Troi's list of credentials. (TNG: Haven)
- He later referred to Lwaxana as "daughter of the House of Usher or whatever..." and "the daughter of the daughter of the House of Pancakes".("Ménage à Troi")
- "The Bonding" (TNG) comes off as hilarious when paired beside "The Menagerie" (TOS)
: Do you honestly believe he would be happy in this total fiction? Captain Pike
: (beeps "YES") Picard:
QUIET! No one asked you!
- Phlox always registers sexual tension whenever Archer is angry with someone — even when Archer is angry with HIM. ("A Night in Sickbay")
- "Dear Doctor" closed with Ben Sisko's log entry from "In the Pale Moonlight" in which he laid his sins bare. It plays starkly against Phlox's log entry and plucky complicity in genocide, to the accompaniment of banal end-episode music.
- In "The End of Time", he inverts the Ninth Doctor's tirade from "Dalek" about the Dalek's need to kill, to the Doctor's need to save.
Chuck: If you can't save people... what good are you?
- Riker uncovering his newly-hatched clone in "Up the Long Ladder". Have we come upon the greatest moral dilemma that Trek has ever known??
"This is a real problem, isn't it? The episodes we've been watching have been reminding us of the preciousness of life. The Vulcans in "Carbon Creek" learned that it was worth preserving and nurturing. And in "Whispers", we learned that even if one is a duplicate, one is still a man, still capable of all that any man is, and having the capacity think and feel to the same degree. And if one has that capacity, such a life is as worth much as anyone else'. Wow. The question now that must be very carefully considered is— (Riker vaporizes his clone) —oh. Well, fuck that, I guess."
- As of "Evolution", Chuck's gets a lot of mileage out of Riker's assertion "combats skills are a minor province of a starship Captain."
Janeway: Yeah, you know what else is a minor province? Your wiener.
- During the intro for the review of the Doctor Who episode "Fear Her", Chuck quotes Matthew Graham, the author of the episode, as saying that he (Graham) doesn't care that many older fans dislike the episode, since "it wasn't meant for them". Chuck gleefully replies:
- Ironic Hell: His response to Neelix presiding over Klingon Hell as "Ambassador to the Recently-Deceased." ("Barge of the Dead")
Chuck: (venomously) I shoulda known.
The only thing in Hell more terrifying than Pinhead
... is Shithead.
- Is There a Doctor in the House?: Oh great. Immolated goldshirts. Where's Crusher when you need her? (ST: Insurrection)
"Quick, someone get them to the Doc—! ...oh, wait, I forgot. Our Doctor's running around the mountain to firm up her tits
- It Is Pronounced "Tro-PAY": Pulaski's insistence on mispronouncing "Day-ta" as "Da-tuh". Chuck notes this is akin to calling the ship the USS Enter-prez-say.
- It Makes Sense in Context: The intros he does for each show mix recognisable moments from famously bad episodes with moments like these from episodes that might be good but look ridiculous without context.
- It Was a Dark and Stormy Night: Referenced in his review of The X-Files episode "Our Town", where he notes:
"Our Town" begins with a couple in a parked car, in the woods, at night, which is the "It was a dark and stormy night" for modern horror.
- It Will Never Catch On:
- Combines with This Is Going to Be Huge for this hypothetical conversation between George Lucas and Steve Jobs in 1998:
Yeah, what is it, Steve? Steve Jobs:
Hey, I just wanted to thank you again for that sweet, sweet deal with Pixar
. George Lucas:
Yeah, yeah, glad to see you're putting it to good use. We were hoping to use it to realize concepts never achievable on film, you make friggin' Babes in Toyland
and punk some ants
. What do you want? Steve Jobs:
Look, I know you're unhappy about how Pixar's a success and that we're working with Disney now... George Lucas:
Yeah, traitor! It'll be a cold day in Hell before I work with Disney! Steve Jobs:
So, I wanted to help get you in on the same kind of great deal, get in on the ground floor of this new project of mine. See, these guys, they're at FingerWorks, have just started up with this "touchscreen technology." If we bought them out... George Lucas: [dismissively]
Yeah, that's nice, but I'm a little busy making The Phantom Menace
, aka "The Greatest Movie Ever Made
"! Steve Jobs:
And we're all really excited about that, George, but just think! We could have a phone...with a touchscreen! It'll be huge! George Lucas:
...sure, Steve. Yeah, I'm going to invest in your super-duper phone, that's where the future's at. Listen, I don't want to keep you from your hemp-tasting contest or whatever it is you're into, so I'm gonna let you go and get back to working on my speeches for all the Oscars
I'm about to win, okay?
- From his review of Space: Above and Beyond's pilot, after two characters make fun of the idea of calling the villains "walkers":
- In his review for "Whom Gods Destroy", Chuck muses that a less campy version of the episode's plot would make for an interesting movie before deciding that would never happen.
- Japan Takes Over the World: Jokingly referenced in Who's "The End of the World." When the Doctor travels to the "New Roman Empire" of 12,005 AD.
"ALL HAIL CAESAR NAKAMORA!"
- Japanese Politeness: "I still don't understand Japanese culture. Which would be worse: demonic toys, or being caught doing something shameful?"
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Usually when he plays an R P G, while he may initially start with his Character try to get rich, when given the choice between money and doing the right thing, he has them do the right thing, every time?
- Just Eat Gilligan: Chuck holds this view for Janeway, stating that there was several times she could have instantly got them home - but refused because of Starfleet regulations and/or didn't think things through. Heck, he thinks she is the very reason they were stuck in the Delta quadrant, unwilling to just stick a time bomb (or a crew member with a bomb) into the Caretaker's array, to blow it up after the array had sent them home, although some fans disagree with this assessment.
Chuck: Another [reason they couldn't use the array] is that there was a time factor and the Kazon had reinforcements on the way. First, they didn't know about the reinforcements until after Janeway made the decision, so unless the argument is that Janeway is psychic (and that's psychic, not psychotic), that wasn't a factor in her thinking at all and at no point does anyone suggest is a problem, except during the fight and no one brings up the time factor once the battle's been won."
- Neelix is blamed as well, such as the several times where his cooking has poisoned the ship; as in, not just the crew but the actual ship, including once with a virus from homemade cheese and another time giving it fleas!
- Why Starfleet should simply fire Captain Archer in Enterprise. Chuck sees him as a hobo that never spent a day in Starfleet and jokes that humanity probably jumped forward a century in progress the moment he was taken out of command.
- Karma Houdini: In his review of SG-1's "Emancipation", Chuck loses it when it's shown that Apu, the boy who sold Carter, someone who saved him, into slavery for a bag of gold (after his initial reason, to save the woman he loved failed) gets off not only scott free but ALSO gets his happy resolution.
- Karmic Death: He notes how perfect Keevan's death was. He let his men die needlessly in an ambush he helped set up so he could live comfortably in a Federation prison and gloated amid the corpses of his men to his captors that if he had a bit more Ketracel White, their positions would be reversed. His final fate? In the process of being traded for a seemingly random civilian, where he faces the prospect of a grim interrogation and execution, he gets gunned down accidentally over a dispute over payment, reanimated via neural stimulators to make the trade, and his final resting place is an abandoned space station, walking into a bulkhead until his legs or his nerves give out.
- Kicked Upstairs: In "Friendship One," Chuck notes how distraught Janeway is after the death of Lieutenant Carey. He begins to wonder if the real in-universe reason she was bumped up to Admiral was that she was too popular to retire, but the seven year ordeal in the Delta Quadrant left her dealing with depression, uncertainty, and guilt, that she could simply no longer captain a starship.
- Kinetic Weapons Are Just Better: Chuck feels this, especially since Plot Armor kicks in whenever it feels like on energy-based weapons. He mentions the TR-116 from the episode "Field of Fire," and says it was abandoned "because it actually worked."
- Then laments in "Terra Nova" that no, even machine guns will obey the laws of Plot Armor.
- Konami Code: Used by Picard in Brothers and mentioned as the Kolrami Code in Peak Performance.
- Ladies and Germs: Janeway mixing up her keynote speeches in "Timeless".
"Ladies and gentlemen, people of Melator V, as you lay prostrate before me, your cities burning, your streets covered in blood and ash— Crap, these are the wrong cards! Gonna have to wing it. Crew of Voyager, as you lay prostrate before me..."
- Large Ham:
- Points out the bizarreness of how Worf utters "Laaaasers!" in "The Outrageous Okona".
- Chuck argues that the body-switched Kirk in "Turnabout Intruder" is even more over-the-top than the regular Kirk.
- Omega in "The Three Doctors": "That's the kind of performance where BRIAN BLESSED tells you to take it down a notch."
- Laser-Guided Karma: His reaction to Tarantulas being the first victim of Protoform X in the Bad Spark review.
"Appropriate that the original serial killer meets the upgraded serial killer."
- Last Episode Theme Reprise: Chuck's review of "Endgame" includes a lengthy retrospective montage set to the tune of "Harleys and Indians (Riders in the Sky)", his theme for the Voyager reviews.
- Last-Second Word Swap: In Unexpected, Chuck barely comes out of his rant about the episode's insensitive treatment of what amounts to rape when T'Pol makes a joke about how it's really Tucker's fault.
Chuck: You're a complete cun— temptible person.
- Law of Alien Names: Hilariously exaggerated in his review of The X-Files pilot episode when the FBI section chief asks how a case involving the paranormal would be prosecuted.
SF Debris: I point you to the disastrous case of Kramer vs. Gelavan-pah-doi!-doi!-bloop-ooh-ueh-fwuh-whoop-whulululululuh which showed how difficult jurisdiction can be in establishing these cases.
- Leaning on the Fourth Wall: Jokingly used in-universe. Sybok seems to be echoing Director William Shatner's panicked thoughts during his movie premiere.
"This is my doing! My arrogance! My vanity!!"
- Patrick Stewart gets his first looks at the Star Trek XI Script: "No! WRONG! It Is WROOOONG!!"
- Picard tries to close out "The Naked Now" with An Aesop, but Chuck agrees that Tasha's line is more relevant:
- Dr. Gieger's paranoid rantings about how the "soulless minions of orthodoxy" are out to get him. Chuck connects the dots and surmises he's talking about VOY's writing staff. ("In the Cards")
- The Viceroy kindly speaks for the audience. "...This was a mistake. We're wasting time."
- Leitmotif: The song "Big in Japan" for Janeway, first used in the Hitler Cam example above, has gradually been adapted into this.
- Lethal Chef: Neelix. What's especially funny is that the canon completely (if unintentionally) supports this.
- Let Us Never Speak of This Again: Said word for word after his exposition song at the beginning of the Star Trek: Generations review.
- Literal Metaphor: As he likes to remind us, Torres literally can't identify shit with with a tricorder, as seen in the beginning of the Voyager episode "The 37s".
- Logic Bomb: Tried researching to see if Lieutenants are actually allowed to give orders to a Lt. Commander. But the question was so nonsensical, "Google just breaks and starts showing pictures of porn." (Insurrection)
- They actually can as most Navies have distinctions between officers that can command at sea and those that can't. Some navies refer to "Deck" (Command) and "Engineering" (Technical) officers, while the United States uses the designation Restricted and Unrestricted Line Officers.
- Long List: Pops up occasionally, like when describing the various functions of the Sonic Screwdriver in his Doctor Who "Lost In Time" series.
Among many other things, it can be: used as a tri-corder; light; increase single strength or make them operate within the range of human hearing; open locks; cut metal; weld metal; solder; make machines explode; remotely detonate mines; alter the controls of the tardis; tint glass, charge a battery; ignite candles; torches or swamp gas; open a crack in the space-time continuum and function as a garage door opener. The doctor here has chosen to use the sonic screwdriver to turn a screw
. Like THAT'S believable.
- Lotus-Eater Machine: In his review for "Workforce", he speculated that Janeway's fake identity — toiling away in obscurity at a dead-end job and entertaining the possibility of a second love — was fueled by a subconscious desire to escape the burden she's been shouldering for over six years.
"People have their limits, period. Picard had his in 'Family', or Sisko had his in 'Emissary'. Given the choice between watching your crew die one after the other—year after year—with home still decades away and a self-imposed isolation
, or thinking that she could've resigned and taken a job on Earth with a husband and a pile of dogs, well... There's a lot of days where the former makes the latter look pretty damn good."
- Love to Hate: It's become obvious that this is how he feels about Janeway. He interrupts his review of Star Trek: Nemesis to go an almost three-minute tirade reframing the plot of the movie as a especially convoluted plan orchestrated by Janeway that would give her total control of the Alpha Quadrant.
Chuck: Self-indulgent? Yeah... but cut me some slack, man, I will never get a chance to do this again!
- Lowest Common Denominator: Invoked at the end of his Equinox review, he accuses Voyager of appealing to this, to the detriment of the shows quality.