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Fan Fic / The Mountain and the Wolf

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The Mountain and the Wolf is an ongoing Game of Thrones / Warhammer Fantasy crossover that begins when Oberyn Martell is replaced as Tyrion Lannister's defender by a very large man whose armor is covered in skulls.

Things go downhill from there as two of the crapsackiest of worlds collide.

The Mountain and the Wolf provides examples of:

  • Always Someone Better: Or bigger, in this case: the Wolf is even bigger than the Mountain.
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  • Anti-Climax: An In-Universe one for the Wolf: Having spent prodigious sums on magical wargear, mercenaries and weapons in preparation for killing the Night King in the name of Chaos, expecting he can reimburse the cost from whatever loot is to be found after the battle, he has nothing to show for his investment when the Night King is accidentally shattered by Arya instead.
  • Asshole Victim: Apart from unnamed soldiers, the Wolf's victims are people very few readers are likely to cheer for.
  • Beleaguered Assistant: However Einarr responds to the Wolf's orders is never satisfactory.
  • The Berserker: The Norscans naturally count several of these in their ranks. One accidentally saves Beric's life by attacking the wights surrounding him.
  • Berserk Button: The Wolf does not like people thinking he's a mere mercenary or assassin. He does the work of his gods, period.
  • Body Horror:
    • Some of the Wolf's trophy skulls are described as not being quite human, whether through size, excessive teeth, or horns growing out of the eye sockets.
    • The Crow Brothers are very, very wrong, from being able to fight on with horrifying damage to their godawful smell to having bugs for blood.
    • The firewyrm is said to have once been a man until the weight of one mutation too many caused his transformation. Now it's a permanently-mutating collection of disparate parts, always in flux.
  • Butt-Monkey: Every time Einarr appears, it's to suffer morally. Even when Arya holds a knife to his throat he doesn't fight back.
  • Challenge Seeker:
    • The Wolf broadcasts his intention to return at the head of a vast invasion so the Westerosi will prepare an adequate defense. He's very disappointed that the natives have their own problems to worry about instead of yet another barbarian invasion.
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    • His execution of Baelish is motivated in part because he'd offered to sell out the weakpoints of the Seven Kingdoms to the Wolf.
  • Chekhov's Gun: Arya convinces the Wolf to finish off Baelish with her dagger, and forgets to get it back. Fortunately, he still had it in his belt during his fight with the Night King, and she was able to reclaim it and put it to good use.
  • Cool Ship: The Seafang is a flying, teleporting longship with an animated dragon's head prow.
  • Continuity Nod: The Wolf's Badass Boast is basically a recap of everything he did in his origin story.
  • Curb-Stomp Battle:
    • Ramsay was unable to fight back in any real way due to surprise the first time, and due to the Wolf overpowering him the second time.
    • Baelish was given a sword, but proved so ineffective with it the Wolf gave him a second chance only to betray him.
  • Cruel and Unusual Death:
    • Gregor Clegane had his teeth punched out before the Wolf's thumbs burst through his temples and then eyes.
    • Ramsay gets utterly humiliated, brutally overpowered and beaten down before being flayed alive and emasculated.
    • Baelish is stabbed in the back and has his throat slit by the man he intended to betray during a Hope Spot, and the last thing he sees is Arya smiling at him.
  • Desecrating the Dead: Each of the Wolf's victims is decapitated, disemboweled, and has their heart ripped out except the Night King.
  • Dramatic Irony: A lot of comments go over another character's head due to their mutual ignorance of the other's universe.
    • Tyrion believes that if Oberyn had fought the Mountain, his life would have turned out very differently.
    • The Wolf claiming no corpse-emperor can stand against the Chaos Gods (in context, he's talking about the Night King, not...).
    • Arya thinks she hears a Norscan screaming about corn, since she doesn't know what Khorne is.
  • Ethnic Magician: Sven Swordeater is an old Norsca sorcerer wearing furs and animal bits, but is capable of casting high-level spells like Call to Glory.
  • Evil vs. Evil: The Wolf is unapologetically and card-carryingly a willing servant of a Religion of Evil and a murderer taking great joy in breaking his victims physically and mentally. But, well, said victims are the biggest Hate Sinks in Westeros, In-Universe and out.
  • Eye Scream: The Mountain and the Wolf's fight ends almost exactly the same way as the Mountain and the Viper's... but with the positions reversed.
  • Feel No Pain:
    • The Mountain starts the fight by downing an entire wineskin's worth of milk of the poppy, meaning he doesn't even notice inflicted wounds.
    • The Crow Brothers don't even seem to notice their wounds, and one of them has a Healing Factor.
  • Gory Discretion Shot: Averted, Clegane and Ramsay's fates get described in excruciating detail.
  • Groin Attack While flaying Ramsay alive, the Wolf rips off his manhood and shoves it in his mouth to stop his screaming.
  • Hope Spot: Appropriately enough for a sacrifice to Tzeentch, Baelish gets one when his offers to sell out Westeros to the Wolf appear to have worked. Just when he thinks he's gotten away with it, the Wolf backstabs him and slits his throat.
  • Horrifying the Horror: Melisandre has a very bad reaction to the Wolf's presence. She urges Arya not to let him take the Night King's skull and is accidentally obeyed, although she doesn't explain why it was necessary.
  • Innocently Insensitive: The Wolf tells Theon to grow a pair, not knowing why that comment might cut Theon deeper than most.
  • I Shall Taunt You: The Wolf pours an incessant stream of insults at his victim as he fights, even managing to kite a White Walker into single combat.
  • Kick the Son of a Bitch: The Wolf makes it clear he doesn't know or care what his victims did, only that he is to kill them. That he gives them a Karmic Death is entirely coincidental.
  • Monster from Beyond the Veil: The Wolf brings a Firewyrm (a flame-spewing, Tzeentch-specific type of Chaos Spawn) against the Night King's hordes.
  • Near-Villain Victory: The Wolf is (accidentally) prevented from taking the Night King's skull by Arya stabbing him and disintegrating him.
  • Nerves of Steel: Sansa isn't cowed for a second by the Wolf's Boisterous Bruiser ways.
  • Nice Job Fixing It, Villain!:
    • While unaware of his influencing things one way or another, the Wolf's interference allowed several characters to survive their canon deaths, such as Wun Wun, Theon Greyjoy and Beric Dondarrion.
    • His dispatching a Crow Brother to the Winterfell crypts allowed the civilians inside to escape, as the wights were concentrated on killing it instead of them.
  • No-Holds-Barred Beatdown: While Gregor Clegane was at least able to put up a fight, Ramsay Bolton only managed to shoot the Wolf once (and non-fatally at that) before getting brutally slaughtered in retaliation.
  • Omniglot: The Wolf is able to converse with giants, dragons, and direwolves as easily as he can in Westerosi and High Valyrian.
  • Our Giants Are Bigger: The Wolf sneeringly dismisses Westerosi giants as plant-eating midgets compared to those of his world (despite only coming up to Wun Wun's waist).
  • Outside-Context Problem:
    • Westeros is simply unprepared for the kind of magic the Warp provides, or for the level of martial skill/willingness to get killed against insane odds that Chaos-hardened Norscans display.
    • The Wolf brags that warpfire will easily burn through the Night King, laughing at the mere comparison to dragonfire. He's wrong.
  • Pet the Dog: The Wolf allows Arya to witness his battle with Baelish, and even concedes using her dagger after she reveals just how badly he screwed her family and the entire continent over.
  • The Quisling: Baelish was entirely ready to sell out the entire world to the Wolf and his gods in exchange for saving his own skin (and getting Sansa in the bargain).
  • Reforged into a Minion: Theon Greyjoy is turned into an Exalted Hero of Chaos during the battle of Winterfell and is not found amongst the dead afterward.
  • Rule of Symbolism: Each of the Wolf's targets corresponds with an aspect of the Chaos Gods: Clegane for Khorne (War), Ramsay for Slaanesh (Sadism), Baelish for Tzeentch (Treachery), and the Night King for Nurgle (Decay).
  • Running Gag: The Wolf yelling the same untranslated sentence at one of his crewmen named Einarr appears Once an Episode.
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: Sort of: the Smalljon leads the remaining Bolton troops to battle instead of fleeing once his overlord Ramsay is busy being savaged by the Wolf.
  • Shout-Out: Sven Swordeater shares a name with a background character in Everworld and has the same kind of scars, although he's a sorcerer rather than a warrior.
  • Spell My Name with a "The": The Wolf gives his real name (Wulfrik) several times, but is consistently referred to as the Wolf.
  • The Stations of the Canon: Due to the Wolf showing up shortly before canon characters would have died anyway, there's very little overall change in the plot compared to the series. Things start changing after the battle of Winterfell, with the survival of Wun Wun, Theon, and Beric.
  • Try to Fit THAT on a Business Card!: The Wolf is not one to be outdone by Danaerys' list of titles.
    "You stand in the presence of Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, rightful heir to the Iron Throne, rightful Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Protector of the Seven Kingdoms, the Mother of Dragons, the Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, the Unburnt, the Breaker of Chains!"
    "And I am Wulfrik the World-Walker, the Wanderer, the High Executioner of Chaos, the Inescapable, the Eternal Challenger, the Strong Wolf, champion of the Sarl and bane of champions, slayer of giants, dragons, beastmen, lamassu, yhetees and trolls, master and captain of the Seafang, killer of Torgald king of the Aeslings, bringer of true death to the Tomb-Lord Khareops, boiler of the witch Baba Yar, breaker of the revenant jarl Unfir, burner of the Hashut-worshiper Khorakk, impaler of the Forsaken wretch Fraener, butcher of the traitor Zarnath, murderer of the weakling backstabber Sveinbjorn of the Aeslings, ruin-bringer to Vinglundr of the Sarl, ravager of Dronangkul, of Wisborg, of Ormskaro, and a thousand other cities besides!"
    From his tone it was clear each of these was a great accomplishment, a heroic feat that would ring throughout the ages and spoken of with admiration and awe, inciting dreams of martial glory and fame in listeners of all ages and conditions. It was a shame no one had ever heard of them.
  • Unknown Rival:
    • The Wolf is rather put out to find that his warning to the Westerosi at large has been ignored and that they haven't started preparing for a Chaos invasion.
    • Conversely, the Wolf seems to have difficulty remembering some of the people he deals with, only vaguely remembering he'd seen Tyrion once.
  • Villainous Breakdown: The Wolf induces these in his victims by way of constantly belittling and insulting them. Except the Night King, who never answers him.
  • Villain Respect: The Wolf looks Arya over as a legitimate, if minor, threat rather than dismissing her out of hand for being a girl.
  • Was Once a Man: Sven Swordeater cheerfully explains that the firewyrm currently wreaking havoc through the army of wights was once a man blessed with too many mutations (and sort-of implies he was responsible for the man's transformation).
  • Why Won't You Die?: The Crow Brothers are inhumanly resilient mercenaries used by the Wolf to Hold the Line, who keep fighting even when half their guts are hanging out of a wound in their stomachs.
  • You No Take Candle: Sven speaks Westerosi much more haltingly than the Wolf, although he manages to make himself understood.

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