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Fanfic / The Westerosi

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In the depths of space where no one has gone before, an explorer of the unknown stumbles across an amazing discovery: a world at the end of a long summer, where dangerous threats are beginning to stir and the local people stand at the edge of a peace that could shatter at any moment.

Welcome to The Westerosi, an A Song of Ice and Fire / loose Star Trek crossover fanfic (with a hint of The Martian) that looks at what might happen if Starfleet came across Westeros, and what would happen after that.

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The story begins with Captain Jade Hasegawa of the Starfleet Ranger Corps out far, far beyond the Federation's borders hunting for signs of a mysterious elder race called the Builders when her scoutship Carefree Victory suddenly malfunctions and is forced down in the northern forests of Westeros. Unable to return to space and at first bereft of means to communicate with Starfleet, Jade makes contact with Lord Eddard Stark and his family. Passing herself off as a witch from the distant land of Ulthos and mindful of Starfleet regulations, Jade tries to stay away from local politics as much as possible, instead investigating the mysterious weirwood trees and the history of Westeros. But when King Robert arrives to make Stark his Hand, Jade is reluctantly pulled into the political mire of the Seven Kingdoms... even as she uncovers signs of a threat that could destroy all life in the galaxy if left unchecked.

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Can also be read on Spacebattles (Second thread here) for more discussions and Q&A from the author.

The Westerosi has examples of Tropes like these:

  • Achey Scars: When Jade and Euron Greyjoy finally meet, he's able to make the scar on her cheek she got from one of the Others hurt and bleed.
  • Admiring the Abomination: From Aeron's point of view, this is what Asha does when she admires the Carefree Victory.
  • Amazingly Embarrassing Parents: Sarella would really like to find a way to hide herself when Oberyn starts interrogating Jade on whether she is bedding Sarella.
  • Arbitrary Skepticism: As Lady Jade says, just because they are legends it doesn't mean there's no truth in them.
  • Armor-Piercing Question:
    • When Asha says she wants the Carefree Victory to raid wherever she wants, Jade asks her "Do you know how to fly it?". Asha falters.
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    • Jade asks Daenerys why she wants the Iron Throne and to give a real answer other than her birthright. After faltering a bit, Daenerys finally answers that she wants to go home and make it better for her people.
  • Ascended Meme: Westeros' planet's official name is Planetos.
  • Atomic F-Bomb/Cluster F-Bomb/Precision F-Strike: Jade has quite the potty mouth.
  • Ascended Extra: Sarella Sand and Thoros become main characters thanks to their involvement in Jade's investigations.
  • Benevolent Precursors: The Builders, who have left many artifacts behind, such as wormhole generators and an archive with a map to (nearly) all the stars in the galaxy. They screwed the pooch when a bunch of them opened a portal in Westeros that allowed the Others to cross for the first time, but that was accidental and they nearly succeeded in undoing the damage.
  • Big Damn Heroes: As Jade and Daenerys try to escape the House of the Undying after provoking the Warlocks, they very nearly get lost in the mirages until Carefree Victory blasts the front of the Palace of Dust and picks them up.
  • Bilingual Backfire: After Jade warns Daenerys of the threat of the Others, a furious, disbelieving Jorah denounces her in Essosi Valyrian. To his horror, a bemused Jade responds to the comment in the same dialect.
  • Bring My Brown Pants: Robert Arryn freaks out and soils himself when Jade shows the Vale a Wight's head.
  • Calling the Old Man Out:
    • Jade screams at Eddard that he should be grateful (or try to) after she risked her life and place (and freedom) in Starfleet just to rescue him, instead of complaining that it would have been better to leave him imprisoned.
    • Jade screams at Tywin for letting his pride take over his pragmatism, especially with the incoming threat of the Others.
  • Canon Welding: The Others are combined with the Unbidden.
  • Captain's Log: Not surprisingly for a story that owes so much both to the trope namer and The Martian, this trope is used extensively; everything written from Captain Hasegawa's first-person POV is taken either from her literal Captain's Log or messages to and from Starfleet.
  • Cassandra Truth: Even with the physical evidence of several animated Wight heads, Jade is having trouble convincing the seven kingdoms of the threat of the Others.
  • Clarke's Third Law: Directly mentioned by Jade. Also its corollary, Heterodyne's Law ("Any sufficiently analyzed magic is undistinguishable from science").
  • Combat Pragmatist: Jade has a phaser. And attack drones. And personal shields. If combat breaks out, she uses them immediately. No fighting on the local's terms.
  • Cool Starship: The Carefree Victory, Jade's starship. While right now it is unable to fly in space (the crash into the woods did not do it much good), it can still fly quite well within the atmosphere.
  • Court Mage: Jade finds herself promoted to this role for King Robert early on in the story. Her tenure does not survive the coronation of Prince Joffrey. Then Joffrey appoints Euron Greyjoy as her replacement.
  • Curb-Stomp Battle:
    • Jade versus the Kingsguard. The only one left without injury is Ser Barristan - and that's because he didn't go after her.
    • Jade versus Asha Greyjoy. The Ironborn doesn't land any hit and get knocked out in one move.
  • Deal with the Devil: The Warlocks of Qarth offer to share their secrets with Jade in exchange for abandoning Daenerys to their depredations. She prefers to bolt and take the young Targaryen. The Warlocks themselves made a deal with something else in the Shroud, with which they gained the ability to live in the Shroud, while allowing them to return to their undead bodies when they wanted.
  • Didn't Think This Through: Asha Greyjoy thought that Jade, whom she regarded as a "greenlander", would be easy to defeat, so she decided to attempt to claim "the iron price" on the Carefree Victory. Jade ends up humiliating her by avoiding all of her attacks and knocking her out with her gauntlet. Also, as Jade points out, even if Asha were to win, she doesn't know how to pilot the ship, would be unable to access it without Jade's help and would be unlikely to learn about it soon enough to make any kind of difference.
  • Doing In the Wizard: A big part of why the Maesters of Old Town back Jade is that she expressly claims that everything they believe to be magic (both her own feats and what they call magic) are all explainable through science.
  • Double Agent: Pycelle might be Tywin's man through and through, but he's wise enough to listen to Jade's warnings and at the very least makes an effort to actually bring them up and act on them as much as he can, and has his own messages added to Jade's correspondence.
  • Dude Magnet: Jade catches the attention of many a man.
  • Enemy Mine: Pycelle and Varys agree to work together as the threat of Euron Greyjoy becomes clear.
  • Everyone Has Standards:
    • When Arianne tries to convince Jade to support her for heir to Sunspear, Jade replies that (a) she wouldn't do any kingmaking even if she were allowed and (b) Arianne's suggestion of killing the Lannister children was way beyond the line.
    • As much as she knows the importance of General Order One, Jade would really not mind grabbing a bunch of soldiers and wiping out the Ironborn culture off the face of Planetos.
  • Evil Cannot Comprehend Good:
    • Cersei and Tywin believe that Jade has some ulterior motives in performing good deeds. They can’t seem to grasp that she’s doing what she’s doing because it’s the right thing to do.
    • While hardly evil Catelyn has trouble understanding why Jade would risk so much saving her husband and daughter from Joffrey’s clutches.
    • Balon Greyjoy can barely comprehend the idea that Jade only wants the Ironborn to stay neutral and get ready for winter.
  • Failed a Spot Check: When Balon says his "We do not sow" after Jade tells him to prepare for winter, Jade points out an obvious solution: they could just fish.
  • Flipping the Bird: Jade does it to several Lannister men after blowing Gregor Clegane's head to bits.
  • Foreshadowing: Jade tells Robert during the tourney that, if Gregor Clegane had proved too much of a threat, she would have blown his head so hard they would be finding pieces of him for years. Guess how he dies.
    • A lot in Melisandre's visions.
  • Groin Attack: After having her familiars strip his armor off him, Jade gently pushes Jaime Lannister to the floor and proceeds to stomp on his groin. He almost breaks his throat because of his pain-filled scream.
  • Head-in-the-Sand Management: Tywin Lannister. He thinks that Euron Greyjoy is not bound to cause trouble and ignores Jade's big warnings because of his wounded pride.
  • Howl of Sorrow: Jade tends to howl when she's really stressed.
  • Locked into Strangeness: One of Melisandre's locks of hair turns from red to ash grey after casting a fire spell through a scrying spell across half of Westeros to save Jade from an Other.
  • Loophole Abuse:
    • Mace Tyrell, while bound to obey King Renly, still has some power, and thus he can send men and supplies to the Wall.
    • Tyrion cannot help Jade with her stated plan to send men and supplies to the Wall - but he can keep men away from the fighting by claiming they have to secure the harvest and protect the Westerlands from potential attacks launched from the Reach and the Riverlands.
  • Love at First Sight: Jon Snow is instantly smitten with Jade when he meets her. After several chapters, he finally confesses to her, only for her to gently turn him down.
  • Mad Oracle: Patchface. When Jade briefly talks to him, it's implied he can access Planetos' background psychic field in a limited, painful and uncontrollable fashion.
  • Magic Versus Science: In the House of the Undying, Jade briefly succeeds in snapping the illusion the Warlocks are casting over her and Daenerys. However, when push comes to shove, they are able to destroy the tech she used and force them back into the mirage.
  • Malicious Slander: Euron Greyjoy suggests Joffrey's Small Council to spread the rumor that Jade slept (or tried to sleep) with Jaime, so as to present her attempts to warn people about the incoming threat of the Others as some sort of lover's tiff (and, indirectly, to cast doubt on the rumors of Cersei and Jaime's incestuous relationship). It is implied Euron's also doing it to cause a break between Cersei and Jaime.
  • Manipulative Bastard: Varys suggests to Kevan that Euron has been slowly manipulating Tywin to worsen the sting of Jade and the North's actions, leading him to prefer focusing on punishing them even though it means forcing a considerable amount of his military assets into the Neck and the meat grinder that is Moat Cailin even though he knows full well of the risks Stannis' and Renly's rebellions pose.
  • Meaningful Name: Jade's eyes are green.
  • Mistaken Nationality: The majority of people who don't believe in Jade assume she is from Dorne.
  • Mythology Gag: The red comet from the books appears during Part II, which Jade calculates has a period of 8,000 years - close to the time since the Long Night.
  • Oh, Crap!: Pycelle completely freaks out when the Citadel sends a white raven, signaling that winter has come early.
  • Older Than They Look: Thanks to advanced medical technology Jade looks about 18 but Word of God is that she's actually closer to mid-30s.
  • Outside-Context Problem: Jade to the people of Westeros. Not only because of her tech or her ship, but her attitude. She's a powerful force that refuses to play the Game Of Thrones, refuses to act as a lady, and refuses to kneel to or even respect those who expect it. Lady Olenna realizes during a conversation that she cannot catch the woman off guard like she does with everyone else and is unnerved by her. Of course, this means that she does not give a damn to local titles, so threats of taking them away if she does not stop toeing the line are about as successful as Joffrey's attempts to be a good king.
  • Pride: Why Tywin won't accept that Jade may be right. He views her actions as an insult towards him and his family, so naturally anything she worries about is secondary to the fact that "she must be punished". He even prioritizes punishing the North above Renly and Stannis' rebellions brewing in the South against Joffrey.
  • Psychometry: In Sarella's words, weirwood does not forget. Its unique psychic properties allow Jade and later Sarella to interact with weirwood, both in tree form and even as furniture, to experience events the wood has been present at. Oberyn learns Doran was conceived on a particular desk on Sunspear this way.
  • Reasonable Authority Figure:
    • Eddard Stark.
    • Pycelle. While the Maesters of the Citadel are initially wary of accepting Jade's warnings, Pycelle, who had first been skeptical about her, realizes she is right after seeing her prove many issues. He even (unsuccessfully) tries to convince Tywin Lannister to accept that his pride matters less than what's going to happen if they do not make common cause against the Others.
    • Mace Tyrell. While Renly does nothing about the threat of the Others, Mace begins to send men and supplies to the Wall because he knows that, if the Wall falls, Westeros will be (frozen) toast.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Jade throws a big one on Joffrey. And Tywin.
  • Refuge in Audacity: Jade's rescue of the Starks.
  • Rock Beats Laser: Averted, any fight between Jade and anyone from Planetos is a curb stomp in her favor because of her advanced technology.
  • Running Gag: Jade meeting Littlefinger and asking who he is.
  • Sarcasm Mode: When Joffrey attaints Jade, she replies "Oh, deary me, whatever shall I do?".
  • Screw the Rules, I'm Doing What's Right!: Jade rescues Eddard and Sansa Stark from the Lannisters even though she technically shouldn't be getting involved in local politics. She rationalizes it post facto by pointing out that the Others' threat means the North needs to be as strong as possible, but she acknowledges she did it because the Starks were kind to her from the beginning.
  • Shattering the Illusion: When visiting the House of the Undying, Jade goes along with the hallucinations for a while, but when they apparently end and she finds someone ready to kick her out, she instantly orders her "familiar" to emit an energy field that destroys the illusion and goes after Daenerys. Unfortunately, she then sees the Warlocks as they really are, then they start chanting Zhdane. However, later they prove themselves to be strong enough to destroy the trinket and force them back into the illusion.
  • Shout-Out:
    • Star Trek gets quite a few, beginning with the fact that Jade works for Starfleet, a mention to Zefram Cochrane and, of course, the Prime Directive.
    • There are multiple elements taken from Stellaris including Unbidden.
    • Jade's design is explicitly sourced from Homestuck.
    • One of Jade's Catchphrases is "Let me explain. No, let me sum up."
    • Jade mentions Heterodyne's Law.
    • The direwolf mother is given the name Moro by Jade.
    • Among the many jury-rigged temporary repair solutions needed to keep the Carefree Victory capable of atmospheric flight is an improvised tarp over a hull breach to cut down aerodynamic drag, known as a "Watney blanket".
    • Jade named three of her familiars Yakko, Wakko, and Dot.
  • Skewed Priorities: Even after Jade proves the incoming threat of the Others, many of the people she speaks to prefer to center their attention on the Iron Throne and on attempts to take revenge for any slight or insult.
  • Spared By Adaptation: A few characters who died in canon are for one reason or another still alive in this fic.
  • Superweapon Surprise: Jade uses her guns and shield to great effect against both Wights and the Kingsguard.
  • Sweet Polly Oliver: Sarella Sand disguises herself as a Novice of the Citadel called Alleras.
  • Take That!: Jade writes a couple of paragraphs about how idiotic a strict implementation of the Prime Directive is.
  • Tempting Fate: As Tyene interrogates her on whether she is sleeping with Jade or not, Sarella asks herself whether the situation can get more ridiculous. Her father promptly proves the answer is positive by loudly asking about the rumor that Jade and Sarella are sleeping together.
  • That Came Out Wrong:
    • Jade enters Castle Black's hall in the middle of supper and shouts "I need men!". After several minutes of Brothers cheering and offering things that start at lewd and escalate from there, she rephrases it as "I need a specific group of men willing to head into wildling territory hunting monsters from your darkest nightmares!". Offers die down after that.
    • She winds up doing it again in Book 2, casually asking Ned is she can 'borrow his wife', before quickly making some verbal backspaces and clarify's that she could use Catelyn's help in the negotiations with the Tullys and the Arryns.
  • There Are No Coincidences: Jade soon learns that, in Westeros, coincidences do not exist.
  • This Is My Boomstick: After crash landing on Westeros, Jade decides to screw the Prime Directive and uses her advanced technology to pass herself off as a witch.
  • Transplanted Humans: The human population of Planetos are these, having been brought there from Earth by the Builders thousands of years ago.
  • Troll: There's no other word that can define Sarella planting the wight head in front of Arianne when she proves skeptical to her warnings.
  • Underestimating Badassery: Many people underestimate Jade. Often to their detriment.
  • Unknown Rival:
    • Cersei is paranoid of Jade and plots her destruction because she suspects Jade is the "younger, more beautiful queen" in the prophecy who will overthrow her. While Jade knows Cersei is an opponent because Cersei won't cooperate with her, she doesn't really care about her. Jade not only doesn't know about the prophecy, she doesn't even fit the "requirements" being both older than Cersei and completely uninterested in the Iron Throne.
    • Euron is also obsessed with defeating Jade, seeing her as a rival in magic, and believes she is also working to defeat him. When Jade is in the House of the Undying, they are able to see and hear each other during one of Jade's visions. Euron lectures her on resorting to going to the House of the Undying for the secret of defeating him. She says she has no idea who he is.
  • Verbal Backspace: Daenerys begs Alleras to help her convince Jade to support her. Alleras very diplomatically tells her that Westeros is a powder keg waiting to go off and that Jade's extensive politicking is one of the few things keeping it stable, so it would take a hell of a lot to get her to change her position and support a returning Targaryen. Cue some rather impressive fireworks in the sky above.
  • We Need to Get Proof: As Jade realizes shit is going to get interesting, she decides to go north of the Wall to find proof of what's going to happen.
  • Wham Line: While showing the royal kids the planets in Planetos' solar system, Jade receives this message:
    MESSAGE RECEIVED. WE'RE COMING TO GET YOU, HASEGAWA.
    • Zhdane. Not so much for what is said than for who says it. A Wight.
    • In the aftermath of the mission North of the Wall...
      Sansa: Lady Jade, are you there? Everything's gone wrong and I don't know what to do.
  • Wild Mass Guessing: Jade’s arrival to Qarth causes the locals to wonder what her ship is and where it comes from.
    Xaro: "This ship has been the topic of much discussion among the wise and learned of the east. Some say that it is from the lands beyond the Golden Empire of Yi Ti and the Grey Waste; others claim that it comes from the south, from a kingdom of sorcerers carved out of the green hell of Sothoryos. The red priests claim it to be the chariot of their fire-god that fell from the moon."
  • You Have Got to Be Kidding Me!: Daenerys had assumed her dragons could only eat burned meat. Jade burns a piece of fruit and feeds it to Drogon, causing Daenerys to have this reaction.
  • Your Head A-Splode: How Jade kills Gregor Clegane.

The Westerosi's backstory has examples of:

  • Accidental Hero: The planet Traxus was on the edge of a nuclear war between five factions, and one despairing grad student decided to hijack his professor's radio telescope to broadcast a request for help. Luckily, a Federation ship (the one where Jade was undergoing training in) was close by, and sent a reply. Said grad student became the most famous person in Traxus when the Federation brokered a peace.
  • Alien Abduction: After the Toba supereruption, the Builders decided to transplant large numbers of humans from Earth to other planets, such as Planetos, Vulcan, Shiwonee, Kobol and many others.
  • Divided States of America: During the Emergency, Maine, New Hampshire and Vermont seceded to become the Optimal state of Victoria.
  • Enemy Civil War: During a truce between the Optimal World State and the United Earth Organization, the Optimals start to fight among themselves.
  • Expy: If they do not go by the same name, the extraterrestrial races from Star Trek will have an equivalent with a similar name.
    • The Optimals (nerxies) replace the Augments from Star Trek (including Noonien Singh).
  • Godzilla Threshold: During the Emergency, the democratic nations resorted to unhooking their space elevators to deny their use to the Optimals.
  • Good Old Ways: What the neo-reactionary (or nerxie) movement was all about.
  • Gunboat Diplomacy: When the Tovarites attempt to invade Vendikar (a protectorate of the Federal Worlds), the Federal Worlds engage in this to get the Tovarites to back off.
  • Irony: Zhou Mei-Ling would love to get back to her research, but she's always picked as the leader of whichever political body she helps to found.
  • One World Order: All Earth nations unite under a single government in 2155. Once contact is made again with the other planets in the Solar System, they eventually form The Federation.
  • Shout-Out:


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