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Fanfic / The Westerosi

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In the depths of space where no one has gone before, an explorer of the unknown stumbles across an amazing discovery: a world at the end of a long summer, where dangerous threats are beginning to stir and the local people stand at the edge of a peace that could shatter at any moment.

Welcome to The Westerosi, an A Song of Ice and Fire / loose Star Trek crossover fanfic (with a hint of The Martian) that looks at what might happen if Starfleet came across Westeros, and what would happen after that.


The story begins with Captain Jade Hasegawa of the Starfleet Ranger Corps out far, far beyond the Federation's borders hunting for signs of a mysterious elder race called the Builders when her scoutship Carefree Victory suddenly malfunctions and is forced down in the northern forests of Westeros. Unable to return to space and at first bereft of means to communicate with Starfleet, Jade makes contact with Lord Eddard Stark and his family. Passing herself off as a witch from the distant land of Ulthos and mindful of Starfleet regulations, Jade tries to stay away from local politics as much as possible, instead investigating the mysterious weirwood trees and the history of Westeros. But when King Robert arrives to make Stark his Hand, Jade is reluctantly pulled into the political mire of the Seven Kingdoms... even as she uncovers signs of a threat that could destroy all life in the galaxy if left unchecked.


Can also be read on Spacebattles (Second thread here) for more discussions and Q&A from the author.

The Westerosi has examples of Tropes like these:

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  • 100% Adoration Rating: By the end of her reluctant political career (see below), Zhou Mei-Ling had apparently become so popular that, despite refusing to stand for reelection as Secretary-General of the United Earth Government, she still got 25% of the vote anyway.
  • Accidental Hero: The planet Traxus was on the edge of a nuclear war between five factions, and one despairing grad student decided to hijack his professor's radio telescope to broadcast a request for help. Luckily, a Federation ship (the one where Jade was undergoing training in) was close by, and sent a reply. Said grad student became the most famous person in Traxus when the Federation brokered a peace.
  • Alien Abduction: After the Toba supereruption, the Builders decided to transplant large numbers of humans from Earth to other planets, such as Planetos, Vulcan, Shiwonee, Kobol and many others.
  • All There in the Manual: The SpaceBattles version has a chronology detailing the history of the Earth and the galaxy at large.
  • Chummy Commies: Technosocialism, a political movement seeking to create a Post-Scarcity Economy using automation. They also develop and distribute for free open-source technology. Technosocialism becomes the dominant ideology in the aftermath of The Emergency.
  • Divided States of America: During the Emergency, Maine, New Hampshire and Vermont seceded to become the Optimal state of Victoria, and various other states were effectively independent. They were all reunited in the aftermath.
  • Evil Reactionary: The neo-reactionaries (also known as NRx, though most people refer them as Nerxies). They founded the Optimal ideology in the 22nd century and effectively attempted to Take Over the World. They replaced the Eugenics War.
  • Enemy Civil War: During a truce between the Optimal World State and the United Earth Organization, the Optimals start to fight among themselves.
  • Expy: If they do not go by the same name, the extraterrestrial races from Star Trek will have an equivalent with a similar name.
    • The Optimals (nerxies) replace the Augments from Star Trek (including Noonien Singh).
  • The Federation: Known as the Federal Worlds, they are not actually the only galatic faction that calls itself a federation.
  • Godzilla Threshold: During the Emergency, the democratic nations resorted to unhooking their space elevators to deny their use to the Optimals.
  • Good Old Ways: What the neo-reactionary (or nerxie) movement was all about.
  • Gunboat Diplomacy: When the Tovarites attempt to invade Vendikar (a protectorate of the Federal Worlds), the Federal Worlds engage in this to get the Tovarites to back off.
  • Irony: Zhou Mei-Ling would love to get back to her research, but she's always picked as the leader of whichever political body she helps to found.
  • Job-Stealing Robot: By the 2030 the process of automation has grown to such scope that the call for a universal basic income had become a major political issue.
  • One World Order: All Earth nations unite under a single government in 2155. Once contact is made again with the other planets in the Solar System, they eventually form The Federation.
  • Post-Scarcity Economy: Throughout the 21st and 22nd centuries that is the end of goal of the technosocialist movement. Eventually it becomes dominant economic system after The Emergency. Much like in Star Trek there's not much detail about how technsocialist economies actually work.
  • Shout-Out:
    • One of the Lords of Kobol ended up dying in Mars, and part of humanity descends from the survivors of the fighting in there.
    • The Tovar species is pretty much a Lawyer-Friendly Cameo of the Race (extra fun because the name is similar to the one the Race used for humans).
    • Andor once had a clanless adventurer found the Het'rok'din Empire.
    • About every town in Mars has something named after Mark Watney, who is a folk hero of sorts for the Martian people (mentioned in the main fic are Jade's hometown of Watney's Crossing at the edge of Acidalia Planitia, and the Watney Trail leading from it to the Schiaparelli crater).
    • OASIS was willed by his author to whoever could prove they loved what he loved. A group of hackers managed to crack the code in six months and released it as open source.
    • The first space mission to Jupiter is named Discovery-Leonov.
    • The United Nations sends an interstellar expedition to Alpha Centauri. They make contact with Earth again when Zefram Cochrane creates the warp drive.
    • Victoria was one of the first Optimal nations to be founded. They are derided as one of the most vicious Optimal nations to exist, and its leader, William Kraft, was condemned to death after the war crime trials.
    • Zhou Mei-Ling, once an Antarctic climate scientist, became the Winston Churchill equivalent of the Optimal crisis with her rallying cry of "Our world is worth fighting for!". Twenty years later, the Optimals defeated and global unity achieved, she finally managed to retire from politics and get back to her environmental reclamation projects, her successor "well aware that he's filling some very big snowboots".
    • The discovery of subspace gravity manipulation and the invention of the subspace transporter, two of the three most considerable advancements in transportation technology (the third being Zefram Cochrane's warp drive), are respectively owed to Buchanan Banzai and Hikita Toshiko.
  • World War III: Called the Emergency, it was a conflict between the Optimals and the remaining democratic states on Earth.

    The Westerosi and sequels 
  • Achey Scars: When Jade and Euron Greyjoy finally meet, he's able to make the scar on her cheek she got from one of the Others hurt and bleed.
  • Admiring the Abomination: From Aeron's point of view, this is what Asha does when she admires the Carefree Victory.
  • All There in the Manual: The Westerosi Scrapbook contains, amongst various omakes and other content, a brief history of Earth and the wider galaxy and other forms of worldbuilding.
  • Amazingly Embarrassing Parents: Sarella would really like to find a way to hide herself when Oberyn starts interrogating Jade on whether she is bedding his daughter (and his display of outrage at Jade's denial when he asks her if she's not good enough for her makes her wish to die on the spot), and feels extremely grateful when Doran intervenes to change the subject.
  • Arbitrary Skepticism: As Lady Jade says, just because they are legends it doesn't mean there's no truth in them.
  • Armor-Piercing Question:
    • When Asha says she wants the Carefree Victory to raid wherever she wants, Jade asks her "Do you know how to fly it?". Asha falters.
    • Jade asks Daenerys why she wants the Iron Throne and to give a real answer other than her birthright. After faltering a bit when she realizes she's never really thought about that before, Daenerys finally answers that she wants to go home and make it better for her people.
  • Ascended Meme: Westeros' planet's official name is Planetos.
  • Atomic F-Bomb/Cluster F-Bomb/Precision F-Strike: Jade has quite the potty mouth. When Starfleet advises her to moderate her tone for the official record, Jade replies that she has more important things to worry about and that at least it'll give the transcribers something entertaining to read.
  • Ascended Extra: Sarella Sand and Thoros become main characters thanks to their involvement in Jade's investigations.
  • Awesome, but Impractical: The Golden Company arrives at Eastwatch-by-the-Sea bringing their war elephants with them. Tormund and Cotter Pyke are both in agreement that the beasts are ill-suited for the Northern climate and would freeze to death long before reaching Castle Black.
  • Benevolent Precursors: The Builders, who have left many artifacts behind, such as wormhole generators and an archive with a map to (nearly) all the stars in the galaxy. They screwed the pooch when a bunch of them opened a portal in Westeros that allowed the Others to cross for the first time, but that was accidental, they nearly succeeded in undoing the damage, and they left a complex biological system to make doubly sure no stragglers or lucky escapees managed to do lasting harm. It really wasn't their fault the Valyrians decided to co-op their main bioweapon and leave the rest of the world barren of the main armament against the Others.
  • Big Damn Heroes:
    • As Eddard languishes in the black cells while Sansa is ineffectively pleading for his life before Joffrey's court, Jade suddenly barges in the throne room to give the king her warning and collect Sansa on her way out, while Thoros and Alleras are simultaneously breaking her father out.
    • As Jade and Daenerys try to escape the House of the Undying after provoking the Warlocks, they very nearly get lost in the mirages until Carefree Victory blasts the front of the Palace of Dust and picks them up.
  • Bilingual Backfire: After Jade warns Daenerys of the threat of the Others, a furious, disbelieving Jorah denounces her in Essosi Valyrian. To his horror, a bemused Jade responds to the comment in the same dialect (thanks to her universal translator).
  • Blood Magic: The ancient Valyrians worked out how to interface with Builder technology via blood rituals, and abused this fact through horrifyingly expansive slaughters against Old Ghis, which drew out every dragon worldwide into their waiting hands and sowed the seeds for the Doom.
  • Break Them by Talking: Happens to Renly after Jade gives him a pointed lecture on what it means to be king. While Jade's intent was only to take him down a peg, it seems to have been a little too effective, as he appears to completely lose his swagger and takes to avoid Jade for the remainder of her stay in Highgarden.
  • Bring My Brown Pants: Robert Arryn freaks out and soils himself when Jade shows the Vale a Wight's head.
  • Calling the Old Man Out:
    • Jade screams at Eddard that he should be grateful (or try to) after she risked her life and place (and freedom) in Starfleet just to rescue him, instead of complaining that it would have been better to leave him imprisoned.
    • Jade screams at Tywin for letting his pride take over his pragmatism, especially with the incoming threat of the Others.
  • Canon Welding: The Others are combined with the Unbidden.
  • Captain's Log: Not surprisingly for a story that owes so much both to the trope namer and The Martian, this trope is used extensively; everything written from Captain Hasegawa's first-person POV is taken either from her literal Captain's Log or messages to and from Starfleet.
  • Cassandra Truth: Even with the physical evidence of several animated Wight heads, Jade is having trouble convincing the seven kingdoms of the threat of the Others.
  • Catapult Nightmare: Jade's shared dream with Bran and the three-eyed crow ends with her bolting upright, blurting "Football practice!", and tumbling off her bunk for good measure.
  • Clarke's Third Law: Directly mentioned by Jade. Also its corollary, Heterodyne's Law ("Any Sufficiently Analyzed Magic is undistinguishable from science").
  • Combat Pragmatist: Jade has a phaser. And attack drones. And personal shields. If combat breaks out, she uses them immediately. No fighting on the local's terms.
  • Cool Starship: The Carefree Victory, Jade's starship. While right now it is unable to fly in space (the crash into the woods did not do it much good), it can still fly quite well within the atmosphere.
  • Court Mage: Jade finds herself promoted to this role for King Robert early on in the story. Her tenure does not survive the coronation of Prince Joffrey. Then Joffrey appoints Euron Greyjoy as her replacement.
  • Cross-Melting Aura: One of Jade's drones is enough to break the illusion the Warlocks of Qarth project... but this just makes them mad enough to exert more power, burning out the drone and throwing up an even tougher illusion.
  • Cue the Flying Pigs: Daenerys begs Alleras to help her convince Jade to support her. Alleras very diplomatically tells her that Westeros is a powder keg waiting to go off and that Jade's extensive politicking is one of the few things keeping it stable, so it would take a hell of a lot to get her to change her position and support a returning Targaryen. Cue some rather impressive fireworks in the sky above as the red comet explodes.
    Alleras (trying to play it cool): Something like that, perhaps.
  • Curb-Stomp Battle:
    • Jade versus the Kingsguard. The only one left without injury is Ser Barristan - and that's because he didn't go after her.
    • Jade versus Asha Greyjoy. The Ironborn doesn't land any hit and get knocked out in one move.
  • Deal with the Devil: The Warlocks of Qarth offer to share their secrets with Jade in exchange for abandoning Daenerys to their depredations. She prefers to bolt and take the young Targaryen. The Warlocks themselves made a deal with the Worm-in-Waiting in the Shroud, with which they gained the ability to live in the Shroud, while allowing them to return to their undead bodies when they wanted.
  • Death by Adaptation:
  • Didn't Think This Through: Asha Greyjoy thought that Jade, whom she regarded as a "greenlander", would be easy to defeat, so she decided to attempt to claim "the iron price" on the Carefree Victory. Jade ends up humiliating her by avoiding all of her attacks and knocking her out with her gauntlet. Also, as Jade points out, even if Asha were to win, she doesn't know how to pilot the ship, would be unable to access it without Jade's help and would be unlikely to learn about it soon enough to make any kind of difference.
  • Doing In the Wizard: A big part of why the Maesters of Old Town back Jade is that she expressly claims that everything they believe to be magic (both her own feats and what they call magic) are all explainable through science.
  • Double Agent: Pycelle might be Tywin's man through and through, but he's wise enough to listen to Jade's warnings and at the very least makes an effort to actually bring them up and act on them as much as he can, and has his own messages added to Jade's correspondence.
  • Dream Walker: Due to Jade's experiments with the weirwood, she and Sarella each end up sharing dreams with Bran and Bloodraven, to the latter's annoyance. In their respective first encounter, Jade takes the form of a gull while Sarella appears as a snake.
  • Dude Magnet: Jade catches the attention of many a man (and a few women as well).
  • Enemy Mine: Pycelle and Varys agree to work together as the threat of Euron Greyjoy becomes clear.
  • "Eureka!" Moment: Jade has the idea to put a piece of fruit close to one of Daenerys' dragons, and realizes that what they crave isn't meat... it's the char - they gleefully eat anything that has been burned.
  • Everyone Has Standards:
    • When Arianne tries to convince Jade to support her for heir to Sunspear, Jade replies that (a) she wouldn't do any kingmaking even if she were allowed and (b) Arianne's suggestion of killing the Lannister children was way beyond the line.
    • As much as she knows the importance of General Order One, Jade would really not mind grabbing a bunch of soldiers and wiping out the Ironborn culture off the face of Planetos.
  • Evil Cannot Comprehend Good:
    • Cersei and Tywin believe that Jade has some ulterior motives in performing good deeds. They can’t seem to grasp that she’s doing what she’s doing because it’s the right thing to do.
    • While hardly evil, Catelyn has trouble understanding why Jade would risk so much saving her husband and daughter from Joffrey’s clutches.
    • Balon Greyjoy can barely comprehend the idea that Jade only wants the Ironborn to stay neutral and get ready for winter.
    • Similarly to Catelyn above, Daenerys, who has faced lies and treachery her whole life, is bewildered by Jade's plain honesty and selflessness and can't help but ask her why she keeps going out of her way to do good for no personal gain.
  • Fantasy Counterpart Culture: Jade is very weirded out that the societies of Planetos seemed to be based off Earth's medieval civilizations. She comes to the conclusion it's intentional.
  • Femme Fatale: Arianne Martell literally offers herself to Jade along with her family's help in exchange for supporting her claim as her father's heiress. Jade is hardly impressed by the attempt, especially as Arianne puts Sarella down in the process.
  • Flat "What": Jade's log after she makes First Contact with the natives, who turn out to be not only humans but also seemingly straight from Earth's Middle Ages, consists of three words:
  • Foreshadowing: Jade tells Robert during the tourney that, if Gregor Clegane had proved too much of a threat, she would have blown his head so hard they would be finding pieces of him for years. Guess how he dies.
    • A lot in Melisandre's visions.
  • Friend to All Children: Jade gets along quite well with the younger Starks, especially Sansa (even Arya warms up to her after she manages to convince her she's not about to steal Jon from them). She similarly befriends Myrcella and Tommen through the songs, stories and astronomy lessons she gives them, and leaves them one of her drones for company and protection after Joffrey takes over. She also wins Shireen over when she doesn't make a big deal of her grayscale.
  • Good Is Not Soft: After her one-sided duel against Asha, Jade quickly disabuses the rest of the Ironborn present of any lingering notion that her warning about winter and plea for neutrality make her a naive greenlander, and emphasizes that it's in their best interest not to give her a reason to come back.
  • Gossip Evolution: Word of Jade's intervention in Joffrey's court swiftly spreads across Westeros, inflating her feats to the point that by the time it reaches Riverrun, she's rumored to have blown up the entirety of King's Landing and left everyone standing outside in their underwear.
  • Groin Attack: After having her familiars strip his armor off him, Jade gently pushes Jaime Lannister to the floor and proceeds to stomp on his groin. He almost breaks his throat because of his pain-filled scream. When Ned tells her that Jaime was the one screwing his sister, Jade regrets not having hit him harder.
  • Head-in-the-Sand Management:
    • Tywin Lannister. He thinks that Euron Greyjoy is not bound to cause trouble and ignores Jade's big warnings because of his wounded pride.
    • Renly Baratheon is also reluctant to acknowledge Jade's warning, let alone do something about it, preferring to prioritize his claim to the throne over the rest, which leads Jade to switch tactics and treat directly with the Tyrells instead.
    • Lysa Arryn, already holed up in the Eyrie with her son and wary of outsiders like in canon, demands Jade to leave after her "warning" spooks Lord Robert badly and closes the Vale's borders shortly after.
  • Howl of Sorrow: Jade tends to howl when she's really stressed. It causes a bit of a commotion in Winterfell (and some rather grumpy Starks in the morning) when the direwolves join her in.
  • Ignorant of Their Own Ignorance: Tormund assumes that the Golden Companies war elephants are mammoths that have been shaved.
  • Improperly Paranoid: Because Jade caught Bran in his fall (by virtue of having set up shop in the First Keep one room below them), Cersei believes Jade knows about her affair with Jaime and pointedly questions her about the incident, which only serves to clue Jade in (although she has no idea about the Twincestuous nature of the affair in question and decides that whoever Cersei sleeps with behind Robert's back is none of her business).
  • Inexplicable Cultural Ties: In-Universe, Sarella notices how the form of the Old Tongue spoken by the Others sounds strangely like High Valyrian. She and Jade later figure out from the inscription on Daenerys's Valyrian bracelet that the two languages both stem from the Builders'.
  • Kill It with Fire:
    • In prevision of her trip beyond the Wall, Jade gets over her aversion to wildfire and borrows a little from Thoros to make some incendiary grenades, which prove to be pretty efficient at burning wights and Others alike (along with a good chunk of forest).
    • Like in canon, Drogon's fire works nicely against the corrupted heart in the inner sanctum of the House of the Undying when Jade's blaster seems ineffective.
    • Amidst the presents given to Jade by the merchants of Qarth to get rid of her, some of them have decided to leave some nastier surprises to make it a permanent thing. Fortunately, Jade and her crew are prepared for this and when Alleras, assisted by Jade's drones, finds a couple of manticores, they promptly end up burned to a crisp.
  • Locked into Strangeness: One of Melisandre's locks of hair turns from red to ash grey after casting a fire spell through a scrying spell across half of Westeros to save Jade from an Other.
  • Loophole Abuse:
    • Mace Tyrell, while bound to obey King Renly, still has some power as Lord Paramount of the Reach, and thus he can send food and supplies to the Wall, along with men to escort them. And should the Night's Watch have further need for the horses and carts, then those men would also have to stay there to make sure his property is put to good use...
    • Tyrion cannot help Jade with her stated plan to send men and supplies to the Wall - but he can keep men away from the fighting by claiming they have to secure the harvest and protect the Westerlands from potential attacks launched from the Reach and the Riverlands.
  • Love at First Sight: Jon Snow is instantly smitten with Jade when he meets her. After several chapters, he finally confesses to her, only for her to gently turn him down.
  • Mad Oracle: Patchface. When Jade briefly talks to him, it's implied he can access Planetos' background psychic field in a limited, painful and uncontrollable fashion.
  • Magic by Any Other Name: Known in the Federal Worlds under the label of "asynchronous quantum field effects" or more commonly "psionics". Individuals with Psychic Powers are rare but hardly unheard of, and as it runs in Jade's family, she's herself able to sense psi fields, which comes in handy in her quest for Builder artifacts (which tend to use or emit them). Upon her arrival in Westeros, she's quick to notice two oddities: 1°) the place is saturated with psionic power (with some entities, like the weirwoods, radiating it) and 2°) most people are blind to it, to the point it is considered common knowledge that "magic is gone from the world".
  • The Magic Comes Back: As the red comet shows up, Jade can notice a spike in the background count of psi energy both from her sensors and her physical senses and links it to the return of the Unbidden.
  • Magic Versus Science: In the House of the Undying, Jade briefly succeeds in snapping the illusion the Warlocks are casting over her and Daenerys. However, when push comes to shove, they are able to destroy the tech she used and force them back into the mirage.
  • Malicious Slander: Euron Greyjoy suggests Joffrey's Small Council to spread the rumor that Jade slept (or tried to sleep) with Jaime, so as to present her attempts to warn people about the incoming threat of the Others as some sort of lover's tiff (and, indirectly, to cast doubt on the rumors of Cersei and Jaime's incestuous relationship). It is implied Euron's also doing it to cause a break between Cersei and Jaime.
  • Manipulative Bastard: Varys suggests to Kevan that Euron has been slowly manipulating Tywin to worsen the sting of Jade and the North's actions, leading him to prefer focusing on punishing them even though it means forcing a considerable amount of his military assets into the Neck and the meat grinder that is Moat Cailin even though he knows full well of the risks Stannis' and Renly's rebellions pose.
  • Meaningful Name: Jade's eyes are green.
  • Mistaken Nationality: The majority of people who don't believe in Jade assume she is from Dorne. Ironically, Jade does seem to have a taste for Dornish food as well as Dornish girls (if the bonds she establishes with Sarella in the main storyline and Elia in the AU omake are any indication) and Tyrion notices the strategy she used to beat him at cyvasse is similar to those used against the Targaryens during their first attempt to conquer Dorne.
  • Morton's Fork: Played for Laughs when Oberyn pointedly addresses Jade about her allegedly sleeping with Sarella (to the latter's mortification) and acts outraged when she denies it, asking whether it's because his daughter is not good enough for her. Thankfully, Jade's diplomatic answer about being too busy to commit seems to satisfy him.
  • Mugging the Monster: Asha Greyjoy tries to claim the iron price for Jade's ship. It doesn't take her long to realize how badly she underestimated her before she gets knocked out cold.
  • Mythology Gag:
    • The red comet from the books appears during Part II, which Jade calculates has a period of 8,000 years - close to the time since the Long Night.
    • One of the visions Jade experiences in the House of the Undying is the last moments of Princess Aerea Targaryen (one of Jaehaerys the Conciliator's nieces) tended by Grand Maester Benifer and Septon Barth after Balerion brought her back, feverish and sporting injuries that Jade identifies as radiation burns, and describing her own fate as "penance for the sins of Valyria".
  • Neglectful Precursors: The Valyrians. Their efforts to enslave all dragons worldwide, uncaring of their true purpose, ended up triggering the Doom, and millennia later, would allow the Unbidden the key they needed to escape the Builders' containment efforts.
  • Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: It turns out that the Builders knew trying to pen the Unbidden forever wasn't going to work with only walls and locks. They designed a complex biological system designed to ensure the Unbidden never had the chance to escape, divided in two parts: the first, the weirwoods, which were intended to serve as a monitoring array, and the second, the dragons, which were the perfect bioweapon against the Unbidden. The problem started when, after the First War for the Dawn, Bran the Builder raised the Wall, blocking the signal due to his imperfect understanding of the Builder technology and cutting the dragons off from what they were supposed to guard. Then, in the early days of Valyria, the proto-Dragonlords worked out how to partially tap into the monitoring array to call all dragons in Planetos straight into their hands to ensure their complete dominance through blood rituals and interfaces with Builder technology. The problem was that this act depopulated Westeros of dragons and left the continent and eventually the world defenseless to the return of the Unbidden after the Doom.
  • Oh, Crap!:
  • Older Than They Look: Thanks to advanced medical technology Jade looks about 18 but the author says that she's actually closer to mid-30s.
  • Outside-Context Problem: Jade to the people of Westeros. Not only because of her tech or her ship, but her attitude. She's a powerful force that refuses to play the Game Of Thrones, refuses to act as a lady, and refuses to kneel to or even respect those who expect it. Lady Olenna realizes during a conversation that she cannot catch the woman off guard like she does with everyone else and is unnerved by her. Of course, this means that she does not give a damn to local titles, so threats of taking them away if she does not stop toeing the line are about as successful as Joffrey's attempts to be a good king.

  • Pride: Why Tywin won't accept that Jade may be right. He views her actions as an insult towards him and his family, so naturally anything she worries about is secondary to the fact that "she must be punished". He even prioritizes punishing the North above Renly and Stannis' rebellions brewing in the South against Joffrey.
  • Psychometry: In Sarella's words, weirwood does not forget. Its unique psychic properties allow Jade and later Sarella to interact with weirwood, both in tree form and even as furniture, to experience events the wood has been present at. Oberyn learns Doran was conceived on a particular desk in Sunspear this way.
  • Puppet Queen: Upon meeting Daenerys, Jade realizes she'd make a perfect one to improve Westerosi society for the better: she's got the legitimacy, being the last living member of the old ruling family, and with a powerful symbol in her dragons to boot, her life experience made her driven, idealistic and compassionate, yet she's still young and malleable, not having the same prejudice as the other claimants, and her lack of a power base in Westeros means she'd be depending on Jade to ascend to the Iron Throne (which is also inconvenient, as Jade would have to fight her battles for her and give up on her current role of neutral mediator between the rival factions).
  • Pyrrhic Victory: Jade considers the result of her diplomatic mission to Pyke as one: on one hand, Balon Greyjoy seemed, if not agreeable, at least willing to listen to her warning and remain neutral in the conflict on the continent; on the other hand, Asha challenged her for her ship and while she had no trouble beating her, she berates herself for letting the Ironborn get to her (as they came at the culmination of a very frustrating tour of Westeros' High Lords and her patience had finally run out) and lowering herself to their level by putting a show of force to make sure they know the consequences of crossing her. Furthermore, she's been forced to take the defeated Asha as an unwilling member of her party and, even with her acting as a hostage to ensure her father's goodwill, she can't be completely sure Balon won't be causing trouble down the line anyway.
  • Reasonable Authority Figure:
    • Eddard Stark.
    • Pycelle. While the Maesters of the Citadel are initially wary of accepting Jade's warnings, Pycelle, who had first been skeptical about her, realizes she is right after seeing her prove many issues. He even (unsuccessfully) tries to convince Tywin Lannister to accept that his pride matters less than what's going to happen if they do not make common cause against the Others.
    • Mace Tyrell. While Renly does nothing about the threat of the Others, Mace begins to send men and supplies to the Wall because he knows that, if the Wall falls, Westeros will be (frozen) toast.
    • Edmure Tully zigzags this with Honor Before Reason when he expresses his intent to house in Riverrun the people fleeing the Lannister advance, arguing of the responsibility of his house to keep them safe, despite the burden that would put on it. While Catelyn is appalled by his soft-hearted attitude, it impresses Jade enough to ask him in all seriousness if he would consider becoming king of Westeros.
    • Despite being the Lannister of the Rock while Tywin and Jaime are off to war, Tyrion is hindered by his uncle and father's man Ser Stafford shadowing him as his steward, but nonetheless manages to strongarm him into letting him hear Jade out one-on-one, then trick him through the aforementioned Loophole Abuse.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Jade throws a big one on Joffrey. And Tywin.
  • Refuge in Audacity: Jade's rescue of the Starks.
  • Rock Beats Laser: Averted, any fight between Jade and anyone from Planetos is a curb stomp in her favor because of her advanced technology.
  • Running Gag:
  • Sarcasm Mode: When Joffrey attaints Jade, she replies "Oh, deary me, whatever shall I do?".
  • Screw Destiny:
    • The arrival of Jade in Westeros brought many changes to the canon timeline, culminating with her rescue of the Starks in King's Landing. In the sequel, Jade is confronted by an upset Jojen Reed, who accuses her of "breaking everything", since the course of events foretold by his greendreams (supposed to always come true, according to him) has now taken a completely different path, which causes him considerable distress.
    • Similarly, Melisandre talks about a vision she had of Ramsay Snow poisoning Domeric Bolton, which did not come to pass. Domeric speaking of his bastard brother in the past tense and describing him as "disappointing" hints that Ramsay failed in his attempt and died for it.
    • How Jade sums it up to the Undying Ones when they claim to have foreseen the path of destruction Daenerys is supposed to take, pointing out that they didn't see her coming.
  • Screw the Rules, I'm Doing What's Right!: Jade rescues Eddard and Sansa Stark from the Lannisters even though she technically shouldn't be getting involved in local politics. She rationalizes it post facto by pointing out that the Others' threat means the North needs to be as strong as possible, but she acknowledges she did it because the Starks were kind to her from the beginning.
  • Shattering the Illusion: When visiting the House of the Undying, Jade goes along with the hallucinations for a while, but when they apparently end and she finds someone ready to kick her out, she instantly orders her "familiar" to emit an energy field that destroys the illusion and goes after Daenerys. Unfortunately, she then sees the Warlocks as they really are, then they start chanting Zhdane. However, later they prove themselves to be strong enough to destroy the trinket and force them back into the illusion.
  • She Is Not My Girlfriend: Sarella has a hard time denying to her sister that she and Jade are an item, and decides not to even waste the effort with her father. When Oberyn asks Jade himself about it, she answers by the negative but doesn't quite shoot the idea down.
  • Shout-Out:
    • Star Trek gets quite a few, beginning with the fact that Jade works for Starfleet, a mention to Zefram Cochrane and, of course, the Prime Directive.
    • There are multiple elements taken from Stellaris including Unbidden.
    • Jade's design is explicitly sourced from her namesake in Homestuck (her habit to howl when distressed harkens back to her model's half-canine nature as well). Her ship, Carefree Victory, is also named after one of Jade Harley's musical themes. According to an omake, she even has her own version of Karkat Vantas, in this setting a Thlingan officer with which she struck a frenmity during an assignment and who regularly sends her profanity-laden messages written in all caps where he simultaneously berates her lack of intelligence and urges her not to get herself killed.
    • One of Jade's Catchphrases is "Let me explain. No, let me sum up."
    • Jade mentions Heterodyne's Law.
    • The direwolf mother is given the name Moro by Jade.
    • While Jade acknowledges the temptation of using the technology at her disposal to spark an industrial revolution in Westeros, Starfleet wouldn't forgive such an outrageous violation of the Prime Directive if she were to get back in contact with them. As such, she reminds herself that she can't be a Connecticut Yankee.
    • Among the many jury-rigged temporary repair solutions needed to keep the Carefree Victory capable of atmospheric flight is an improvised tarp over a hull breach to cut down aerodynamic drag, known as a "Watney blanket".
    • Jade named three of her familiars Yakko, Wakko and Dot, which are subsequently joined by Pinky, Brain, Slappy and Skippy.
    • Bran's first encounter with the three-eyed crow gets interrupted by a gull with a broken wingtip who tells him that "flying is the art of throwing yourself at the ground and missing".
    • Jade utters the Waking Non Sequitur of "Football practice!" after the aforementioned episode, in reference to a Mystery Science Theater 3000 Running Gag (which itself is a reference to Shocker). It also doubles as a nod to Ben "Gryphon" Hutchins's Star Trek story "The Final Simulation" from Undocumented Features, which opens on his character doing the same.
    • After potting her miniature weirwood, Jade writes in her log that she "will hug it and pet it and call it George" before admitting she's only going to do the latter of the three.
    • Questioned by Melisandre on her beliefs, Jade quotes Philip K. Dick by mentioning that one of them is that "reality is what doesn't go away when I stop believing in it".
    • The story of the Great Game told by Jade to Melisandre is taken from an issue of Top 10.
    • Jade uses wildfire to craft some incendiary grenades and mentions in her log "I am become Trogdor, burninator of worlds", referencing both Robert Oppenheimer and Strong Bad at once.
    • While she's in Dragonstone, Jade is surprised to hear Patchface singing a verse of Billy Bragg's "Rumours of War" and asks him if she was "leaking".
    • When Jade finally meets Tywin and ends up exploding in the face of his stubbornness, part of the speech she gives him is taken almost verbatim from the one the Doctor gives to two incarnations of the Master (and to pretty much the same effect):
      Jade: "This isn't about the Iron Throne, you tremendous jackass! It's not about valor or fortune or glory, it's not about beating you or Joffrey or any of the other over-armored idiots in this godforsaken place! I'm not doing it because it's fun, God knows I'm not doing it because it's easy. I'm not even doing it because it works because who the fuck knows if that's even true! I do what I do because it's right! Because it's decent! And above all, it's kind. I could leave Westeros. I could run away and pretend none of this is happening. But if I do that, good people will die. If I stand and fight, some of them will live. Maybe not many, maybe not for long. And hey, you know, maybe there's no point to any of this, maybe it's all fruitless. But it's what I can do, so I'm going to stay here and I'm going to keep doing it until it kills me."
    • When Domeric Bolton discusses with Robb and Stannis the opportunity of trapping Tywin's army in the Neck, Melisandre unwittingly quotes Thomas Babington Macaulay's "Horatius": "In yon straight path a thousand may well be stopped by three".
    • The team of the Starfleet Corps of Engineers in charge of analyzing the scientific data sent by Jade is led by a certain Cdr. Hebert, which is a nod to the dimensionally-displaced protagonist of the Worm/Star Trek crossover "Taylor on the Edge of Forever".
    • An omake set in the future reveals that Sarella elected to stay by Jade's side when she left Planetos. When she registers for immigration, she decides to ditch her bastard name of Sand and her carefully thought-out new patronymic selection turns out to be... Skywalker. Jade certainly Didn't See That Coming.
  • Skewed Priorities: Even after Jade proves the incoming threat of the Others, many of the people she speaks to prefer to center their attention on the Iron Throne and on attempts to take revenge for any slight or insult.
    • Even with the looming threat of Stannis and Renly over King's Landing, Tywin sends the majority of his forces through the Neck to attack the North to get revenge for their (and Jade's) perceived slights towards him and his family.
  • Smart People Play Cyvasse: Most of the conversations that Tyrion and Jade have occur over a friendly game between the two of them (Jade having learned the rules in Winterfell and played a few times against Alleras). After Jade wins their first game using an unconventional strategy that catches him off-guard, Tyrion makes sure to never underestimate her again, while Jade comes to admire him for being a "sneaky bugger".
  • So Long, Suckers!: When she leaves the Tower of the Hand after blowing the Mountain's head to bits, his body toppling onto the Lannister men at his back, Jade gives them a wave and a middle finger before the Victory takes off.
  • Space Romans: One of the things that boggles Jade's mind is how, despite having been around for millenia, the humanity of Planetos has evolved to look so much like its Medieval Earth counterpart, to the point there's virtually no difference between the Westerosi Common Tongue and Classical English down to the loanwords, which when accounting for random chance should be next to impossible.
  • Spared By Adaptation: A few characters who died in canon are for one reason or another still alive in this fic.
  • Stating the Simple Solution: When Balon says his "We do not sow" after Jade tells him to prepare for winter, Jade points out that they could just fish.
  • Sufficiently Analyzed Magic: Invoked by Jade (see Clarke's Third Law above) when she discusses her study of psionics with Alleras (a notion which comes as rather troubling for maesters like Pycelle).
  • Superweapon Surprise: Jade uses her guns and shield to great effect against both Wights and the Kingsguard.
  • Sweet Polly Oliver: Sarella Sand disguises herself as an initiate of the Citadel called Alleras. Aside from Jade and Willas Tyrell (due to his longstanding friendship with her father), no one outside of her family seems to be the wiser.
  • Take That!: Jade writes a couple of paragraphs about how idiotic a strict implementation of the Prime Directive is.
  • Tempting Fate: As Tyene interrogates her on whether she is sleeping with Jade or not, Sarella asks herself whether the situation can get more ridiculous. Her father promptly proves the answer is positive by loudly asking about the rumor that Jade and Sarella are sleeping together.
  • That Came Out Wrong:
    • Jade enters Castle Black's hall in the middle of supper and shouts "I need men!". After several minutes of Brothers cheering and offering things that start at lewd and escalate from there, she rephrases it as "I need a specific group of men willing to head into wildling territory hunting monsters from your darkest nightmares!". Offers die down after that.
    • She winds up doing it again in Book 2, casually asking Ned is she can "borrow his wife", before quickly making some Verbal Backspace and clarify's that she could use Catelyn's help in the negotiations with the Tullys and the Arryns.
    • And another time (in as many words) when she asks Selyse Baratheon to "borrow Lady Melisandre".
  • There Are No Coincidences: Jade soon learns that, in Westeros, coincidences do not exist.
  • This Is My Boomstick: After crash landing on Westeros, Jade decides to screw the Prime Directive and uses her advanced technology to pass herself off as a witch.
  • Transplanted Humans: The human population of Planetos are these, having been brought there from Earth by the Builders thousands of years ago.
  • Troll: There's no other word that can define Sarella planting the wight head in front of Arianne when she proves skeptical to her warnings.
  • Underestimating Badassery: Many people underestimate Jade. Often to their detriment.
  • Unknown Rival:
    • Cersei is paranoid of Jade and plots her destruction because she suspects Jade is the "younger, more beautiful queen" in the prophecy who will overthrow her. While Jade knows Cersei is an opponent because Cersei won't cooperate with her, she doesn't really care about her. Jade not only doesn't know about the prophecy, she doesn't even fit the "requirements" being both older than Cersei and completely uninterested in the Iron Throne.
    • Euron is also obsessed with defeating Jade, seeing her as a rival in magic, and believes she is also working to defeat him. When Jade is in the House of the Undying, they are able to see and hear each other during one of Jade's visions. Euron lectures her on resorting to going to the House of the Undying for the secret of defeating him. She says she has no idea who he is.
  • Unwanted Rescue: After Jade exfiltrates him and Sansa from King's Landing, Ned tells Jade she should've left him behind to prevent the war and keep Westeros united against the threat of the Others, instead of making herself Joffrey's enemy. While Sansa is completely dismayed that her father would say such things, Jade angrily points out that while he's technically right in that it would've been the smart thing to do and her intervention in blatant violation of the Prime Directive is now about to land her in a world of trouble, he could at least try to be grateful about it.
  • We Need to Get Proof: As Jade realizes shit is going to get interesting, she decides to go north of the Wall to find proof of what's going to happen.
  • Wham Line: While showing the royal kids the planets in Planetos' solar system, Jade receives this message:
    • Zhdane. Not so much for what is said than for who says it. A Wight.
    • In the aftermath of the mission North of the Wall...
      Sansa: Lady Jade, are you there? Everything's gone wrong and I don't know what to do.
  • What an Idiot!: In-Universe, Jade's opinion about Cersei's mysterious lover, who thinks the best way to make a kid keep quiet about their affair is to defenestrate him, is that she really needs to pick a smarter one.
  • What If?: A chapter of "The Westerosi Scrapbook" explores an alternate scenario where, instead of landing near Winterfell at the beginning of the canon storyline, Jade's ship suffers a more crippling crash that leaves her stranded in a remote vale of the Westerlands twenty years earlier (Aerys is still king and Rhaegar hasn't betrothed Elia Martell yet). Jade tries to keep a low profile by establishing herself as a local woods-witch, then Elia comes to her seeking treatment for her weak physical condition and ends up staying with her. After that, Rhaegar pays her a visit when he realizes his prophecies seem to have been thrown out of whack...
  • Worthless Yellow Rocks: The tributes Jade receives from the Qartheen merchants to make her leave quicker are used to replenish her autofac reserves with raw materials. Most of it comes in the form of heavily adulterated gold, of which she's only interested in the impurities. After feeding the metal to the autofac, she's left with piles of gold she has no need or want for (Jorah Mormont is left flabbergasted when she calls the gold "useless"), so she gives it all to Daenerys.
  • Wouldn't Hurt a Child: Despite saving Bran from his fall, having accidentally broken his leg in the process doesn't sit well with Jade. It is also one of the reasons that makes her refuse Arianne's offer after she suggests to eliminate the Lannister children.
  • Wild Mass Guessing: Jade’s arrival to Qarth causes the locals to wonder what her ship is and where it comes from.
    Xaro: "This ship has been the topic of much discussion among the wise and learned of the east. Some say that it is from the lands beyond the Golden Empire of Yi Ti and the Grey Waste; others claim that it comes from the south, from a kingdom of sorcerers carved out of the green hell of Sothoryos. The red priests claim it to be the chariot of their fire-god that fell from the moon."
  • You Can't Go Home Again: When Jade turns Jon down, she explains him that even if she were to return his feelings, staying with her would mean leaving Planetos as well and, unlike a commitment in the Night's Watch where he might still get the chance to visit his family in Winterfell, he'd have to cut ties completely and irrevocably. In the post-ending omake, she gives the same warning to Sarella as they're about to enter Starfleet HQ, offering her a last chance to turn away and get repatriated, which Sarella declines, her mind made up on standing by her.
  • You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me!:
    • Daenerys had assumed her dragons could only eat burned meat. Jade burns a piece of fruit and feeds it to Drogon, causing Daenerys to have this reaction.
    • Sarella and Asha share the exact same reaction when they realize that the location to which the probe that was inside the red comet is trying to transmit its signal and that Jade now intends to investigate is Valyria.
  • Your Head A-Splode: How Jade kills Gregor Clegane.


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