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- This is Jim Sterling's savage, biting intellectual impression of Nintendo of America.
- Similarly, in his video mocking Ubisoft, he portrays Ubisoft as a stereotypical Frenchman, complete with hilarious accent.
- At the end of "Welcoming a Digital Future", Jim is too absorbed in his Playstation Vita to round out the episode properly.
- In the "Let's End the FPS Sausage-fest" episode, describing how men in modern shooters apparently reproduce like Orks. Also, Jim in drag.
- Anything involving "Miniature Fantasy Willem Dafoe."
- When pedophilia is brought into the Mass Effect 3 Gay Option debate, he patronisingly lays out the difference concerning pedophilia, and there is a brief moment where he turns the patronisation Up to Eleven when his voice goes slightly high-pitched.
- His response to people who moan about "biased" reviews was that they should hire bananas as review editors.
- His opening to "Sony's Begging For Piracy", in which he plays the main theme to Grandia on his PSP and just... just... look, just watch it.
- His opening to "I Hate Videogames (Because I Love Them)", mainly in part due to Jim's comical overacting. It starts with a promotional plug for Chick-Fil-A, before Jim spits it out and...It tastes like hating gay people! *sniffs the food and retches some more* And it smells of fuckin' shit!
*Waves his hand in front of his face* I'VE GONE BLIIIIIIND!!!
- Done again in "In the Hall of the Mountain Dew" where he opens the episode by drinking some Mountain Dew, before his eyes widen and...
It tastes like sugar and hedgehog piss...!
- And then there's his comical despair at continuing to drink it.
- At the beginning of "Xbox One and the death of ownership", Jim Sterling says this:Jim Sterling: It's Friday morning as I record this. The video itself will be up on Monday, too early to do E3 reactions and too late to do E3 predictions. But it's gotta be something to do with E3, what would you have of me? Oh if only Microsoft had done something stupid and vile to such a degree it didn't matter whether it was E3 or not, and I'd have material for weeks! (Rapturous joy) Oh wait! YES THEY DID! (Produces massive knives and starts stroking them together) Oh this is gonna be SOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (Laughs maniacally)
- At the start of "Jimquisition: Changing A Game's Ending And Destroying Art," Jim is talking dirty on the phone. Then he looks at the camera in surprise, and quickly puts the phone away before finally saying "Fuuuuuuuuuuuck."
- After getting syndication from Escapist Magazine, Jim proudly declares it by stating that he was gonna abuse the power this gave him and declare Dynasty Warriors the "Citizen Kane" of video games, complete with an Evil Laugh.
- Jim starts his "Previewed, Preordered, Prescrewed" video by destroying a copy of Aliens: Colonial Marines with the Penetrator, a giant purple dildo bat.
- This video: "'Ell-ow. Ah ahm DAH-vid Cage."
Jim: Now why the hell did they release that after I finished editing the David Cage episode?Miniature Fantasy Willem: Who cares? I have emotions! WAAAAAAHHHH!
- And in the next episode, "SimShitty," he shows footage from Beyond: Two Souls that was released after he finished editing the David Cage episode, which included a plastic-looking Willem Dafoe.
- The end of "The Creepy Cull of Female Protagonists," where Jim suggests that anyone who is frightened off by female protagonists might be hiding something. But don't worry, because
- "This just in, the Wii U has just obtained the most sought-after exclusive of this generation — an Aliens: Colonial Marines cancellation!"
- Jim's teardown of Tetsuya Nomura's jarring rendition of Batman at the beginning of "Batman Is Everything Wrong With Square Enix" is priceless."First off, let's look at this "thing" that might almost resemble Batman if you squint a bit. There's too much of him for one thing. The angles have angles on them, the armor is clad in armor, the pointy bits are extra pointy and accommodate more points with pointy bits on the pointy bits, his cape breaks off at the end for more cape,and is lined with bone that splits off into two extra arms that are skeletons. It's so chock-full of details within details that you can barely make out any of the... Well... Details! His face is lost amid the clash of spikes and bones. There's no central focus point. There's nothing for the eyes to home in on. The very idea of it being Batman is hard to determine behind the dragon wings and pseudo-medieval post-futuristic armor plating. It's gibberish in toy form is what it is! Pure unmitigated gibberish.''
"If brevity is the soul of wit, then Square Enix boasts some of the most witless fuckers in video games."
- Followed up with this gem:
"And look, I like weird stuff, but you have to have some sense behind it, some governing direction, or a plan at least. Not just zippers and angles and points and skeletons and bones and Batman and angles and Rob Liefeld and Batman and paradigms and Fal'cie and L'cie and Luminous Engine and hairstyles and hair and zippers and hair and big swords and hair and cocoons and Fabula Nova Crystallis and angles and skeletons and Batman and zippers and belts and belts and hair and zippers and zippers and zippers... [the sound gradually fades out, with Jim still rambling as it does]
- And then the rant that concludes the video:
"It's like Ultron fucked a Gundam and had a Michael Bay Transformer baby."
- Years later, in the video "Kingdom Hearts is Stupid Gibberish," he calls back to the figure:
- His invitation for others to join him in an Evil Laugh over the "Xbox 180", complete with a clip of Megatron laughing with Jim's voice, is so perfectly timed that chances are you actually will be joining in."And now, if you'll join me..."
- In his "Sequel or Slaughter" video, he rounded out his ranting with how he thought all sequels weren't bad if there's justification. In his words, "How could I hate sequels? Look at how much jizz is on this copy of Dynasty Warriors 8!" Some then promptly drips onto his fingers. He licks one of them for some reason and then gags.
- And that is not the only time he licks things. At the end of "Integrity, Journalism, and Free PS4s", he licks his "free" Sony-supplied PlayStation 4 while making disturbing noises and ends the video with "Did I game journalism or not?".
- And he does it again in "Who "Won" The Next-Gen Launch?" where he licks an Ouya at the end, only to start gagging and having a bad reaction to its taste.
- In "Dragon's Frown," Jim makes fun of the overreaction people had to the single bad review of Dragon's Crown, who said that the mediocre score ruined Dragon's Crown forever:Jim: *playing on his PS Vita* Boy howdy, I sure am enjoying playing Dragon's Crown for a bit. I don't think anybody could take away my enjoyment of this game. Unless...*images of the bad review in question, set to ominous music*Jim: *cut back to Jim, the Vita now replaced with a facehugger* AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH-
- At the end of Time To Get Paid, Jim keeps his promise from last week's episode and plays with a Dragon dildo sent to him by a fan... to the tune of the DuckTales theme song no less. It... It really, really needs to be seen to be believed.
- In the video version of Jim Sterling's game review of Beyond: Two Souls, every single scene with Willem Dafoe is replaced with clips of Willem Dafoe from his live-action movies. Both a riff on Willem as well as a silent riff on the fact that Beyond: Two Souls is more of an interactive movie than a game.
- His summary of Walking Dead: Survival Instinct in his list of the worst games of 2013:Michael Rooker: "Merle and Daryl, in a game. What could be better than that?"[Beat]
- At the start of the Irrational Decisions episode, he opens it by saying he had multiple oppurtunities to make fun of David Cage, but decided not to because he is a mature games journalist, then poses and smiles smugly. At the end of the episode, he puts on a David Cage mask and starts dancing around with the Penetrator flailing in his hand singing "EMOSHUNS EMOSHUNS EMOSHUNS" over and over again.
- This, from "Too Cool To Be Cool":"Instead, [Duke Nukem] should be more ironic, like, I dunno, just pulling this at random, some fat blogger with an English whiny accent, dressed up in a trenchcoat with glasses like he's some sort of rock star, with a background that makes it look like he's on a bad production of V for Vendetta. You know, something so blindingly, obviously ironic that only a fucking idiot would take it as a genuine persona."
- His deconstruction of the term "Social Justice Warrior", culminating in him saying he'd rather be a Social Justice Bard which quickly devolves into him rambling about his D&D character.
- The video of Grand Theft Australia, which starts out talking about Grand Theft Auto V's removal from Target and K-Mart in Australia, before devolving into Jim waffling about Captain Rainbow being only released in Japan.
- The Amiibo episode opens with Jim struggling to put on his tie correctly, after several comments claimed that it was wrong. When we cut back to Jim at the end of the episode, he's got ties on his face and arms.
- Lately, at the beginning or end of some Jimquisitions he occasionally uses a clip from one of the latest Nintendo Directs where Bill Trinen says "Life's good when you're a Ninja Block."
- "The Splatoon That Broke Amibo's Back" starts with Jim saying that this was going to be a positive episode in support of the Unity engine, but that will have to wait because "something else cheesed my onions this week and what you really want to hear is a privileged adult man whining about not being able to buy children's toys with all his money! So that's what we're going to do!"
- His thoughts on the E3 2015 PC Gaming conference.The PC Gaming show happened! (loooong pause) And it was almost three hours fucking long.
- "The Mic Trick" calls out Ubisoft's immensely scripted multiplayer demos with "players" talking like they're actually coordinated or adjusting the volume to sound like in-game audio. Jim reenacts a much more realistic online scenario, which includes a bratty teenager angry that he got a PS4 instead of an iPhone, another bratty teenager dropping f-bombs, and someone spamming Drops of Jupiter by Train.
- "Enjoy the Silence, Feel the Noise" begins and ends with a SAW parody. The ending one doubles up on the funny by giving a Jigsaw like speech while holding Miniature Fantasy Willem Dafoe up close to the Camera.
- This "Jimsaw" saga persisted throughout October, with it finally coming together in the skits in the Halloween episode "The Golden Sins Of Horror Games." He traps someone he thinks is Philip Spengler in a death trap meant to drown him in Mountain Dew, with the key being located on the other side of a floor covered in Doritos. As it turns out, the whole thing was orchestrated by Cliff Bleszinski, who resented Jim for giving Gears of War 3 an 8 out of 10. As a result, Jim is trapped in Bleszinski's garage in a scene that would please any Saw fan.
- Cliffy B's Evil Laugh is also amazing.
- As fake Phillip Spengler escapes the "death" trap, a fallen Jimsaw screams his revenge.Jimsaw: You bastard, you think you've won? You've got to go home covered in Mountain Dew! The bees will have you by sun-up! (laughs manically) Thank god for bees!
- In "The Multiplayer-Only Problem", Jim rounds out the episode with some #Fuc Konami News concerning Hideo Kojima not being allowed to collect an award for Metal Gear Solid V. After having some choice words for Konami, Jim ends the episode... with a remix of the Game Awards crowd booing set to Megalovania.
- For his "Worst Games of 2015", Jim randomly dresses up as Skeletor to announce his worst games. In the comments, he lampshades that he's a little larger than Skeletor and says "Yes, I'm aware Skeletor let himself go".
- On the episode "VR Troopers," Jim delivers the opening monologue with a VR headset on... that is audibly playing porn. Of course, he delivers the entire monologue deadpan, without ever mentioning the moaning noises coming from his headset.
- In "Unversal Windows Crap", he has his new head researcher Chip on board in response to his mistake on The Witness costing $40 and not $20, saying it was his fault he made that mistake.Jim: While I take full responsibility for everything that happened in the last episode, really that falls on the research department. Doesn't it Chip.Chip: (about to talk)
- Jim teaching Chip how to be a master of Dark Souls in the beginning of Prepare to Die.
- Normally, when a YouTube video gets a copyright claim from the Content ID system, the claimant gets to either claim all ad revenue on the video, or disable ads entirely. By sheer coincidence, though, Jim noticed that, if you have competing copyright claims on a single video from multiple companies, they're likely to jam themselves up so no one gets any cash. Jim calls this the "Copyright Deadlock," and explained that the Content ID system made it so that it was actually better to infringe as many copyrights as possible than to try adhering to the bounds of the law.Jim: Basically, what I'm trying to say, YouTube, is that it's your fault that Gina G is about to happen. *cue Ooh Aah (Just A Little Bit)*Jim (wearing the most shit-eatingist grin ever):I'm going to get my comeuppance one of these days, but not today! *begins dancing with the Penetrator*
- On the subject of copyright episodes, Jim likes to demonstrate just how much utter contempt he has for copyright by having extended clips of himself dancing to "Chains of Love" by Erasure.
- "Modern Warfare Rebastard" opens with Jim on the phone to the person who created his spiffy new opening and closing credits. He tells them that people thought the flip animation at the end of the openingnote was 'cheap', and thus needs changing. Cue the opening credits, the flip transition is replaced with an agonisingly slow, multi-stage 'zoom' animation with desert wind cutting out the music until it's done.
- And then the next episode, "Doom Guy", he says he's going to do it himself. Cue Born Depressed sung by himself, The Escapist crossed out, and of course, many spelling errors.
- THEN, the new non-joke intro wasn't finished in time for the next video, so they used the first intro and Jim had to explain why it's back.
- Jim starts his video on the Counter-Strike gambling controversy with him visiting "Pogs 4 Boglins", a site where players can bet their Pogs on different Boglins. He wins immediately and flips out.
- For the episode "Active Time Prattle" Jim couldn't actually make it back from an expo in time to record the episode, so instead it was hosted by special guest host, Hatsune Miku.
- Jim warns against getting too hyped for the remake of Final Fantasy VII.
- JimSAW. Highlights include Jimsaw failing to properly secure Mike to the desk with dollar store handcuffs, Jimsaw's unfortunate suffering of Deathly Dew Dependence, Mike somehow managing to find Jimsaw's Penetrator then knocking Jimsaw out and stealing his boglins much to Jimsaw's dismay, Jim's insistence that he and Jimsaw are not the same person, and amazingly, D.C. Douglas reprising the role of Albert Wesker right at the end.Double Secret President Wesker: At last...I shall become the number one Boglin Boy...
- Jim decides that the Game Awards' Schick Hydrobot corporate mascot is too good not to satirize, and responds with his own creation: The Cornflakes Homunculus.
- Now with a (fan-run) Twitter account.
- Jim was rather alarmed when his own doctor greeted him as "the Cornflakes Homunculus himself" at one of his appointments.note
- The Jimpression for Skylight Freerange 2: Gachduine, a rather dismal attempt at making a Mass Effect-esque RPG. What really gets at Jim is not the game's mediocre nature (though, make no mistake, it is very mediocre), but the fact that the game was released on Playstation 4, complete with a trailer on Sony's official Youtube channel, but it was not available on the wasteland of aborted indie trash that was Steam!Jim: IT WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR STEAM!
- Jim Sterling sums up E.Y.E.: Divine Cybermancy beautifully:It take Deus Ex's gameplay and then proceeds to fuck that gameplay in the eye socket while listening to Cameo's Word Up on repeat. This is a game in which you can hack doors, turrets, computers and even players, but if you fail, the doors will hack you back! This is a game in which your character can become mad, paranoid, or too frightened to fire his gun. In which you can have 32-player co-op, which is totally broken but have it anyway, just fucking have it! One of the monsters is a woman in a white cocktail dress with a massive machine gun, and they never explain why, they don't have to. They're French, they can do what they like! E.Y.E. is basically what Deus Ex would be, if Eidos had spent its time licking toads and drinking Red Bull.
- An NSFW Jimquisition episode is basically a hurricane of euphemism made by Jim himself.
- In this episode, Jim decides to begin with an unboxing of the Nintendo Switch. When he opens the box, however, he finds a...
- Showing off the Switch to his dog:Jim: Playing Zelda, buddy. Do you like Zelda?Bartleby: *Get's up to smell the Switch*Jim: You like Zelda? Eat the Switch. Eat the Switch!
- Licking the The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild cartridge and gagging at taste, then proceeding to lick 1-2-Switch hoping the taste would be different. It wasn't.
- Showing off the Switch to his dog:
- In response to negative reactions over his Bi the Way comments in "Fallout 4's S.P.E.C.I.A.L. Relationships" ("I'm not a monogamous guy, and I'm not a straight one neither"), he went on an extended, rambling monologue at the start of "The Blacklist", playing his screen persona's Small Name, Big Ego traits to the hilt:"Ever since my video on Fallout 4, a percentage of people out there have been upset with me. I talked about polyamory in that video, I talked about not being straight in that video, and about I talked about how those things relates to yours truly, and in response some people have called me a degenerate for this. One wonders why they chose now to clue into the fact that some degeneracy may be going on, I mean, the Pog fucking didn't give that away?But anyway, the point is I just want to address that, and say that any degeneracy on my part, any kind of polyamorous behaviour, is not my fault. Have you any idea what it's like to be this irresistible to men and women alike? Have you any idea what it's like to be the most desirable, the most delectable man in games media? No, you don't, because you're not me.What I do, I do for the good of society. There has to be enough Sterling to go around! (It's at this point that you can make a fat joke and say, 'well, there's plenty of Sterling to go around, we can see it'). The point is, I give of myself, to the whole human race. Anybody who wants a bit comes and gets a bit! Because otherwise, there would be anarchy! Chaos! Imagine a world where you can't bang Jim Sterling. That's not a world which I would want to be a part of."
- The closing comments on Why Horizon: Zero Dawn's Success Is Good No Matter Who You Are.Jim: Now if you'll excuse me, got to get ready for a radio interview. Going to be chatting to Ian Boldsworth of FUBAR Radio, certaintly hope I don't land myself in any hot water or say anything stupid. So long as I don't make any jokes about The Holocaust or start espousing some weird xenophobic bullshit, everything should be fine. Course the chances of that happening are one in a mill- ''*video abruptly cuts to the credits while the Always Sunny theme plays*
- The episode Zombies, Spider Heads, Hammers and Menus, another episode on the concept of Asset Flipping, has a number of amusing moments;
"Sonic": Stay in School! Chill Dogs!
- Strewn throghout the video are clips of the infamous animation blunders from Mass Effect Andromeda, which on its own is a (depressing) sight to behold. However, in the middle of the video, a clip is run of two characters having a conversation where another character in cobalt blue armour walks into the middle of the conversation, silently looks at the screen and walks off again. Jim decides to dub this scene...with the voice of Sonic the Hedgehog.
"This is a Steam Greenlight trailer for Pixel Risin- NO! Noo! NO, YOU! Eee, no! NO! *walks away from the microphone* I! AB! SO! LUT! LY! RE! FUSE! To accept that another one of these FUCKING things are happening! No! *hits something in the background* Fucking...shit!"
- Next, there's a compilation of every time Jim has come across a asset flip of UnitZ (a foundation version of Unturned on the Unity storefront) on Steam Greenlight. There's...a lot of them, and it's clear Jim is getting more and more exasperated each time. In the final clip...
- In "Exposure", whenever Jim discusses the deplorable actions of Paul Ryan and has to clarify that he's talking about the site owner, not the politician. Better still, he often shows silly altered photos of the Representative whenever talking about Paul Ryan...Not that one.
- In the follow-up video Paul Ryan: Not That One he keeps up the gag, except when he once subverts it by actually referring to Paul Ryan (yes, that one!)... and puts up a picture of Ted Cruz.
- The 5/15/17 video introduced a hilarious new post-credits sequence/character: Elite Gaming Wisdom with Duke Amiel Du H'ardcore, in which the duke (played by Jim Sterling and depicted as a face-painted, foppish, 18th century French aristocrat) reads actual hardcore gamer comments culled from various online sources in a snobbish, high-pitched voice. He was so popular that he got his own spin-off show, Commentocracy, in September 2017.
- In the Winners & Losers E3 2017 episode of the Jimquisition, Jim jokingly discusses the rather horrifying implications of the reveal that a central gameplay mechanic in Super Mario Odyssey, will be Mario's hat, Cappy, and its ability to take control over living beings if Mario throws it at them. Jim compares this to the powers of the demon Pazuzu from The Exorcist, and finally tops it off by playing the game's E3 trailer, but with the sounds of the Headcrab Zombies from Half-Life 2 (you know, the ones constantly screaming "Oh, god! Help me!" backwards) playing over it.
- In September 2017, Randy Pitchford of Gearbox acted like he'd forgotten Jim's name as a Take That! and was roundly mocked for it. Jim's snap-back is a thing of beauty:Jim: For today's video I would like to give a shout-out to my main man R...r...bleh bleh...what's the guy? He has glasses, wears these cheap-looking velvet suits, does magic tricks, lies a lot...Blandy Pitchfraud? Mandy Pelch...felch? I'm sorry, I've completely pretended to forget your name.
- The opening of "The Mighty Has Fallen", in which Jim pauses for a very long time after making a joke about the then-recent resignation of David Cameron, the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, after failing to prevent Brexit. You can tell Jim is trying to save face while processing the full ramifications.
- The ending which has some bathos lent to it by Jim's Corpsing.Jim: This whole shit is crowdfunded! Y'know, I'm only here being able to say and do as I please without some overseer because of you people who have very kindly given me money. Some of you. You know, some of you are just watching for free, you fucking parasites. [corpses] That was a joke! That was a joke. I surprised myself with my own goof! I've been goof-bushed by myself, I'm sorry. Thank God for you all, whether you're backing or not. Thank you for watching and enjoying the show. If you do enjoy it. If not, you're a fuckin' prick, so...thank god for me![Beat]Jim: The UK is fucked.
- The ending which has some bathos lent to it by Jim's Corpsing.
- The opening dialogue of "Fuck Skyrim" concludes with this:
- Jim (resplendent in a Dovahkin hat): Enjoy your fuckin' selves, you bunch of-
Cutaway: ♪ Skeleton Warriors! ♪
- The opening of "Should They Have Done More With Dark Souls Remastered?" has Jim, wearing a knight's helmet, pouring orange juice over his head while yelling "ESTUS IS BESTUS!"Jim: (laughing) That'll be someone's kink!
- "Pity Poor Waluigi" has Jim complain for a bit about Waluigi getting less of The Merch than piranha plants, only for a revelation to strike:Jim: Fucking piranha plants get more love than Waluigi does, and holy shit is that a piranha plant puppet, fuck yes. Oh, and I guess that's why they make piranha plant stuff, actually, because I am buying this as I speak.
- "From Battle Pass to Battle Ass" has Jim calling out PUBG for its lower-quality Event Pass, for a game that you have to pay to play to begin with, but it's the particular language that will invoke the lulz.Jim: Not only do you need to fuck off, you need to fuck off from wherever it is you fuck off to, because the people living wherever you fuck off to won't want to deal with you, either! Fuck off twice!!
- The Great Atari Ransack has his apt description of Asteroids: Outpost:Jim: What is... Asteroids: Outpost? Well, it ain't fuckin' Asteroids.
Jim: You remember that shitty asteroids shooting segment from the first Dead Space? Yeah, it's that. Intermingled with a stripped-down version of first-person survival games as you blast the asteroids, go out to harvest ore from them, and then build shit out of the materials. The game itself, designed entirely for an online MMO experience has failed out the gate because it's dead. Nobody plays it. I struggled to find an open server, and when I did, it was bereft of other life. And it was shit, and boring. And really, really shit. Asteroids: In Name Only, and shit.
- Followed with:
- "Ubisoft and the Division of Content" opens with an introduction to the new storefront for The Merch:Jim: Hey idiot! Do you like spending money? Do you like wearing bollocks across your chest? Do you like complaining about exorbitant international shipping prices that we wish we could reduce but currently have no control over? Then get your soft little hiney over to The Jimporium, where you can buy shit and tat from us! Shirts and badges and hats and, you know, bollocks like that! Go over there and have a look! ...After you watch the video, please.
- "EA Should Lose The Star Wars License": Well, yes, but also, Jim's Star Wars OC, Dingo Manburger, who looks like Jim, in black, wearing a bucket on his head with eyes and a mouth stuck on, yellow rubber gloves, a tinfoil sash, and a gold necklace with prawns on it. His backstory includes failing to catch Han Solo once, punching Boba Fett in the helmet so hard he fell over, and inventing Chewie's bandoleer, and apparently he's Force-sensitive.Jim: DO NOT STEAL DINGO MANBURGER!
- "Kingdom Hearts is Stupid Gibberish": Partway through the video, Jim tries to explain the convoluted story of Kingdom Hearts, with a timer at the bottom. Before he even gets to start, he's confused by some of the game titles, such as Kingdom Hearts HD II.8 Final Chapter Prologue and another one he pronounces as 'Chi Unchained Chi Union X Back Cover'. When the explaining does get underway, there's a lot of editing and cuts, which is for good reason. The final timer count at the end of the segment comes out at over 25 minutes.
- In "The Social Shitshow Cycle", Jim tells corporations that they're trying too hard to look with-it and connected and up-to-date and edgy, mixing in a bit of Self-Deprecation:And this is coming from me, someone who looks like Porky Pig joined a steampunk Green Day! Come on!
- In "Five Golden Rules for Steam Early Access" has pretty much the entirety of his fifth rule:Jim: And rule 5, you know what, fuck it, just no more first-person survival games with "crafting and zombies", okay? It's done. It's played. Oh, by the sweet rosy asscheeks of Satan's thirdborn son is it done, done, done. Unless you have something significantly fresh and exciting to bring to that particular sub-genre, and let's face fact: you fuckin' don't, then just don't bloody bother, because the dirty gray dumpster baby you're gonna squirt in our eyeholes just ain't fuckin' worth it. You can only punch trees to make cabins while generic green-faced groaners lurch at you so many times before the sheer, sickening idea, of playing another one of these cookie-cutter exercises in mundanity makes you want to spurt vomit from your own anus out of the sheer perverse need of something unique to happen to your life! You'd think relying on such a stale and overdone formula would have at least established a quality baseline. It's not like you're spending your time coming up with original ideas, settings, art or mechanics, but no! They're almost all fuckin' shit to boot! Like, I don't even know how these games are all shit, it shouldn't be possible! Here we have, as close as we can get to a physical representation of a thousand monkeys and a thousand typewriters, and yet none of them are advancing in any way, shape or form! You Unity asset using, Kevin MacLeod music using, criticism dodging, zombie shiteing tools!
- Jim puts a positive spin on things in "The Exploitation of Apolitical Politics":"I recently entered a competition to win an all-expenses-paid trip to having fucking bronchitis, and I won!"
- The introduction to "The Problems with the Epic Store" is also gold; he claims that after a divisive period lots of people on the Internet are trying to find ways to hurt him, and then tells them not to bother, he watched Puppet Master, Hideous, Head of the Family, Blood Dolls, Dollman and Demonic Toys, all in the previous two days, all by choice, so there's nothing left to take from him.
- "A Difficult Subject", a video made in response to the controversy of a game journalist using cheats to defeat the end boss of Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice (a subject that is still a matter of great contention that need not be elaborated on further on this page), sees the triumphant return of Duke Amiel after taking a break to deal with the consumption to poke fun at one particularly notorious and meme-worthy hot take aimed at the journalist in question."You cheated not only the game, but yourself. You didn't grow. You didn't improve. You took a shortcut and gained nothing. You experience a hollow victory. Nothing was risked and nothing was gained. It's sad that you don't know the difference." Royston, Royston! I just roasted me a soy-boy casual neckbeard!
Squirty Plays / Jimpressions
- A test play of The Slaughtering Grounds, a notoriously bad Early Access game was met with a YouTube video of the creator, Digital Homicide LLC., angrily lashing back at Jim. Jim did his own commentary over THAT, calling it the "Inception Special," and couldn't stop giggling at "I'm Jim Fucking Sterling, son!"
- His Let's Play of Dark Shadows: Army of Evil. The leaden narration ("She's not just any woman — you are in love with her after all!"), the "tutorial", invisible items everywhere, the blood spatter which doesn't fade and continues to collect on the screen to just to mock Jim, the humans in monster "disguises"...the list goes on."Giraffes. Giraffe topiary. Why not?"
- In Guise of the Wolf, he is equal parts amused and annoyed at the game's lack of gravity when he's busy mauling people. He ponders what the alchemist ought to say. ('WTF YOU BLOODY IDIOT YOU TWAT")
- During his test play of The Forgotten Ones, Jim finds a PewDiePie trading card (complete with the "Jabba the Hutt" fanmix) and is silent for an entire minute and doesn't mention it afterwards.
...Until his "Top Ten Shittiest Games of 2014" video, in which he declared that the offending segment was all he needed to say about it.
- His Squirty Play of The Alien Wasteland is utter hilarity from end to end due to the game's utter brokenness. It ends with him exploiting the glitch that made his weapons inaccessible on his first play attempt to finish the game in the second of nine intended waves.
- Jim did a Squirty Play of A Mass of Dead and declared it to be boring. Two weeks later, he does a Squirty Play of the same game, believing it was a game he didn't cover yet. Jim is puzzled at how there's already save data for the game and it's only when he starts to play the game that he realizes he covered the game previously. He excuses his flub up by saying that all the crappy zombie games he's been playing are that forgettable because of how samey they all look and feel.
- Jim's squirty plays always begin with "Hello you [adjective] [noun]!" with said adjective and noun being something gross, offensive, or both. In Jim's early access squirt of Better Late than Dead, he winds up laughing at his own opening when he normally doesn't laugh at them and then explains how the image of what he just said was too funny to not laugh at.
- "Enjoy this show, and let's do a smile near your face!"
- As he is playing Jotun, he has this reaction : "Fucking hell, it's me."
- Similar to the laughing fit he had in his squirty play of Better Late than Dead, Jim plays Call of Duty: Black Ops III and notes the guy in main menu has some cool armor, but Jim himself can't wear it because he's too fat. Jim then bursts out laughing at his own statement.
- In his squirty play of GASP, after over six minutes of completely uneventful travel time, Jim finds a box on the ground.Jim: Ah, here we go, content!
Jim tries to interact with the box,to no avail.
Jim: C... con... content...
Jim: *jumps* Conteeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnt...
Jim: C... c... content? *mumbles weakly* content...
- Towards the end, Jim then starts doing the video as a few NASA Video Reports. Eventually however, Jim grows so bored he ends up playing with his 3DS instead.
- During Jim's Squirty Play of Genesis Online, he starts working on a house while absentmindedly discussing recent events with threats from indie developers. As he talks, he gets carried away and starts tilling the soil all around his house. He tills about half of the grass on the map before he realizes what he's been doing.Jim: ...Speaking of shit! I mean what the fuck did...what did I just do here?! What was this?
- Jim's Squirty Play on Morphine truly must be seen to be believed.
- His Early Access Squirt for MadOut Open City. All three minutes of it, as Jim gets his car stuck on a fence about a minute and 30 seconds in, and it just stays there.
- Near the end of his Squirty Play of Autobahn Polizei, he ends up sending his car flying off of the street. He then heads for the city in the background...only to send his car falling out of the map.Jim: This is the Autobahn!
- The lead up to this moment is just as hilarious, as what sends Jim's car flying off the street was simply nudging the roadside rails...
- Near the beginning, he attempts to name the character "Chungus"...but because he's "hungover as fuck", he accidentally types in "Chumgis", and just goes with it.
- At the end of a Live Squirt for Five Nights at Freddy's World, Jim...has a bit of a breakdown.
- Jim's early access squirt of Dungeons of Kragmore has him playing a game that is not only made by Digital Homicide, but he actually fights Robert in the game itself and promptly gets his ass kicked by him. Jim takes it in stride and has a laugh at it for the revenge Robert got on him.
- When Jim first jumps into Warhammer 40,000: Eternal Crusade, he gets fatally wounded, and notices a few enemy marines traipsing towards him:Jim: Help! Help, I got shot! Oh, no! No, no! Get away! Oh, god, no, that's my chest! And my bollocks! I keep all my organs in there! God damn it...
- In his Jimpressions of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutants In Manhattan, while talking about 80s franchises, he, because he was discussing Transformers: Devastation at the time, accidentally says that the Transformers like pizza when criticizing the game's writing. Funny on its own, but then he pre-empts the comments that would have corrected him about it in the comments section.
- As Jim plays the Stick Shift game in Radiator 2, he gets pulled over by a police officer and blows him a kiss, adding 10 minutes to his timer. Not knowing what the timer meant, Jim kept smashing the keyboard to spam the kissing, pounding it for several minutes until the timer reached 3 days. He then realized that the timer means how long he would be locked out until he could play the game again, although he mistakes the 3 day lockout as 3 hours.
- The end of his Squirty Play/Jimpression of I Will Escape. To begin with, Jim's character is crouched and is sneaking through the building. And then the moment he stands up, he permanently grows extremely tall. Jim's reaction is priceless, even saying that his character now has the proportions of Pikaman. At the very end, he not only escapes the building, but also falls out of the map and gets a Game Over.Jim: Wow. Wow. Fuck you. That's all I can say to that one!
- The "Hello, you ______" in his Nier: Automota video is probably one of the most flawlessly executed puns ever put to video.
- His Jimpression of Blood Feed is very hilarious the entire way through, and what sets it over the edge is him constantly screaming different versions of "BLOOD FEED!"
- In his Jimpressions video for Fish for Gold, the game's excessively loud sound effects serve as a surprisingly effective Jump Scare, able to scare the living piss out of Jim.
- The Jimpression of Road Redemption has Jim having a whale of a time playing a Road Rash Spiritual Successor.
- His Jimpression of Assassin's Creed Origins has him getting sidetracked by the accents in the game, a train of thought that ends in him saying that Ben Kingsley should have been in the game. No, not a character played by Ben Kingsley, the actual actor somehow in Ancient Egypt with no one questioning it.
- In his Jimpression for Sonic Forces, Jim has to mention time and again that he is not saying that it was better than The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild note , as well as mentioning the fact that a lot of people were expecting him to pan the game when, in truth, he found it to be fairly decent.Jim: "Long story short, I give this game [...] an S-Rank...no, that's too much, a C+."
- His Jimpressions video of Cart Racer features him in such a state of anger that he admits he never felt before towards a game on his channel before. He has to endure very slippery controls, rather unfunny Ragdoll Physics and failing to even get in the shopping cart. On the second level of the game. There is also him repeating sentences as he tries to get in the cart, like this:Jim: All day. All day if I have to. (fails) All day if I hav- (fails) All day if I have to. (fails) All day if I have to. (fails) All day if I have to.
- The Zen Fish Sim video opens with this perfect example of Brutal Honesty.Jim: Now, you may be hearing the sentimental music, and the...frankly shit title screen[...]
Jim: Clownfish in the city of Twatlantis.
- There is also this line:
- Eve of Destruction Redux, a game that actually advertises itself as having No Budget and has all the glitches you'd expect. About half way through the video, a group of tanks get stuck on geometry and Jim completely loses it, but the real crowning moment of funny comes at 17:20 when a tank gets catapulted high into the air.
- His playthrough of LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham...well, what was supposed to be a playthrough, though there is one small problem: the game did not detect any controls whatsoever, whether it be a controller or Jim's own keyboard. The result is literally just 8 minutes of Jim explaining the error, watching a cutscene, and then promptly trying to configure it, but to no prevail whatsoever. All with one message that engraved itself into Jim's mind on that day:(No Input)
- In his Jimpressions on The Quiet Man, a game that Square Enix published but scarcely advertised nearing release, at the 20 minute mark, Jim's video ends up cutting out, resulting in him unknowingly describing a fight that isn't on-screen (which he notes in the comments, but says the viewers missed nothing). Given that one of his criticisms involved the obnoxiously ambiguous storytelling, it's almost thematically appropriate.
- His playthrough of ESC: From Planet, which he dubs as the absolute worst game to cost $35 - and it quickly shows that he does not exaggerate with that statement. He finds himself Corpsing multiple times from the sheer absurdity of the environment and the jaw-dropping bugs the game has. It culminates rather quickly into Jim entering what can only be described as a state of complete hysteria from a entirely unanimated snake continuously lurching forward and ramming into wooden boxes repeatedly.
- His playthrough of Horny Fighter begins tremendously, with Jim talking about the developer Tero Lunkka, his continued run-ins with their games and their emails sent toward Jim himself. As he selects the first level, he seems to expect nothing much as he continues...and then, he sees the player character model, which holds the prestigious honor of being the absolute fastest to break Jim down into laughter.
Best of Steam Greenlight
- Skate Man Intense Rescue. Jim's reaction to it must be seen to be believed. It also broke Total Biscuit in the comments.
- In the following Jimquisition centered around the game, his reaction to the completely nonsensical rant Skate Man's developer, Digpex Games had. To elaborate, immediately after he's done reading, the video cuts to him and his podium, and he is utterly silent for a full 10 seconds, just trying to decipher what the hell he just read out loud.
- Jim reads the description page for Digital Homicide's latest game, "AZZHOLES."Jim: "'use your size to your advantage and devour smaller a%@holes note to get even bigger' - that sounds a lot like me."
*introductory jingle, followed by a fart* "Excellent."
- At the beginning of the video, Jim doesn't miss a beat in snarking it up.
- Jim's watching the Steam Greenlight trailer for "Rock Paper Scissors Champion", in particular the 'theme song'.Jim: So yeah, it goes on like this. It's... not really in tune, is it?
- Where to even begin with Age of Barbarian? The Steam Greenlight trailer, which among other things misspells "Barbarian" as "Barbarin" twice, and was described by Jim as the best worst thing he'd ever seen? The hilariously terrible dialogue? The fact everyone is scantily clad for no discernible reason other than fanservice, sometimes to the point where the game needed to be censored to be acceptable on Steam? The breast blurring that sometimes fails to disappear when it's served its purpose? The fact that at one point, the developer forgot to blur a female character's breasts while a correctly censored close-up of her was in the foreground? Or how about this ridiculous facial expression◊?
- Call Me Skyfish has a trailer that...to say the least, is not exactly professional.Hello I am Skyfish. And this is my game. Call Me Skyfish. You can...swing around. And...shoot bubbles. To destroy your enemies. And...YOU CAN...(three seconds of silence)SAVE THE WOOORRRLD. And it's...it's really awesome. It has tons of levels. And. It is only a dollar. I mean...WHAT IS WITH THAT...IT'S ONLY A DOLLAR. IT'S...(ten seconds of screaming gibberish)
- The Dead Town of Walking Zombies revels in Mundane Made Awesome, the trailer advertising basic physics as a feature in the game. What's notable in this video is that Jim ends up laughing his ass off from the mere title of the game, the poorly-done trailer, and the particularly shameless description that gleefully admits to "wanting to rob [the customer]" of the game's price of $3.
- His YouTube account is similarly full of parody. Sometimes he does satires of play guides. His "play guide" for Telltale's Wolf Among Us (an adventure title that is hard to screw up) consists mostly of Jim playing an entirely different game on his handheld with annoying whooshes and dings while the video screen just lingers on a shot of the main menu for Wolf Among Us.
- His video testing out the HD version of Fable is titled "The Eyeless Cenobites of Albion," because of the guards who have perpetually squinted-shut eyes.
- His review of Bloodborne: "As strong as you get, you never know when you'll push open some doors to reveal a boss who's ready to make you shit your pants, and then make you eat the shit, because it's a Pants-Eating Shiteater Demon that wants you to eat shit while you're shitting shit into your own pants."
- A meta example, but the publicists for The Witcher 3 sent Jim a package, as gaming publicists tend to do. Jim opened it up, to find that he'd been sent a copy of Farming Simulator 2015 .
- One of the first responses to the Tweet? For him to review it as if it were The Witcher 3
- Another response was: "Who needs to play as Geralt of Rivia when you have John of Deere?"
- Jim's "interview" with Digital Homicide, recorded as a special podcast, is something that must be heard to be believed. Unfortunately, most of the humor is of an unintentional variety, with Digital Homicide acting as the unwitting straight man in a comedy of errors.
- Gets funnier in the next Jimquisition episode he posted after this, "Aliens: Colonial Marines - Game over, Randy!". In this interview, among other things, Robert (of Digital Homicide) insults Jim's immaturity, claiming that waiving around a three-foot dildo bat is offensive to women. In the next Jimquisition episode that went up after this interview, although Jim says nothing about the interview itself, he spends all of his talking-head bits waving around the Penetrator.
- This psychotic rambling stream of consciousness from Rory Fingers during the Top Ten Best Games EVER Of 2016 EVER (The Videogame Show What I've Done).Rory Fingers: I'm not allowed near offices, cause of what happened between me and that coffee maker that time. I didn't do it on purpose, the coffee maker asked for me to do some things, so I performed the tasks the coffee maker set forth before me *pause* with my pants down, and some people got upset and some lawsuits were talked about, but that was all cleared up and now I'm not allowed near buildings *pause* of any description, except my own, which I'm also not allowed to leave. Has Christmas happened? ''*away from microphone* Has Christm- Hey! Has Christmas happened? *back to mic* I'd be nice if the person I was talking to was real, like a friend. Like one of those. But they're not.
- He reviews Knack 2 and notes that, thanks to videogamedunkey, he can expect his comments to be a flood of Dunkey-related replies. He was not disappointed.Jim (YouTube comment):
Me: This comment thread is gonna be full of angry people or people yelling Dunkey-related things.
Comments: KNACK 2 BAY-BEEEEEEEE!
- During the Commentocracy video on Cuphead elitists, Amiel slams two teacups together hard enough that one shatters. After a few seconds, he smacks them together a second time, destroying what little is left of that one.
- In the Commentocracy episode about "involuntary celibates" ("incels") blaming women for ruining games), Amiel comes across a particularly egregious typo of "protagonists", written as "portsgnidts".Amiel: "that's why they are so cinematic and so many female[...]" (stumbles on the typo, tries and fails to sound it out) Royston! Royston, did I say that? When you take diction, I expect you to take diction well! (tries to sound out the typo some more, still fails) Royston, this is BOLLOCKS!
- In the first season finale of Commentocracy, Amiel took a moment to make a mockery of PC gaming elitists who took umbrage with the Duke mocking them."I like Jim's insight videos, but these fucking custome personas are insufferable. Who the fuck thinks this is funny. Probably his rabid fans."
Amiel: ...Royston! Royston, who is this Jim fellow, m'lad? And why does his fans have rabies?! We can't have rabies in the town! Not while I'm still suffering from the consumption...
- Jim made a montage of the insanity that was Dynasty Warriors 3's cutscenes. Bonus points for looping Lu Bu's reaction to the then basically useless Diao Chan wanting to help him.
- A Troll released a fake screenshot of an apparent Metacritic quote of a review wherein Jim gave Super Mario Odyssey a scathing 7/10 score. A cursory glance at this supposed screencap should clue one in that it's fake, since Jim had not even made a review of the game at the time of its release (and likely never will, since he announced his decision to stop writing traditional reviews with numbered scores shortly before this controversy hit), and the fake quote spelled "Nintendo" wrong. Jim, to his credit, took it, and the controversy that cropped up in its wake, in stride.
- It got better with his ACTUAL Jimpressions on the game. After around fifteen minutes of giving the game glowing praise, the Scarecrow from his old review format scrolls by... carrying a 7.
- Serving as Book-Ends for the video "Fuck Skyrim" is Jim at Pro Wrestling EGO going full heel while promoting Sterdust.
- Jim: [...] STERDUST!
Audience member: Shut up!
Jim: No, YOU shut up!
- From episode 184 of the Podquisition, Jim — in utter delight — explaining that he entirely believes that Pokémon Quest could be a "free-to-wait" game without any microtransactions, because that would be an incredibly Nintendo thing to do.
- Duke Amiel is in fine form during "Shenmue Is A Masterpiece And You're An Insult To Gamers!", including hissing like a vampire at one point.
- Another recurring funny moment from Duke Amiel is that the comments he reads are often full of grammar and/or spelling mistakes, which the Duke will go ahead and read without correcting.
- One example has a comment that misspells "normies" as "Normans", complete with a picture of the Normans flashing on the screen.
- The one exception to this was a comment that had a truly epic mangling of the word "protagonist", which the Duke is unable to read through, and stops to complain about it.
- Over in Direct to Video, Jim has a harrowing experience with Candice DeBébé's Scandalous Secrets, a game that at one point forces him to ask whether the definition of "joke" in England has changed since he moved to the States. (Then one of the NPC's turns into a giant head and non-explains that it's because she's now old and has turned into a grandma, which Jim admits is Actually Pretty Funny even if he has no idea why.)