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"You can make us feel dumb by telling us all the stuff we don't know!" "...I miss that..."

Main Funny Index | Season 1A | Season 1B | Season 2 | Season 3 | Season 4 | Season 5

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    "Stuck Together" 
  • Topaz forms around Lars, and doesn't care that he's sticking out of her butt when she sits down.
    Lars: (dejected) At least I make a good seat cushion. You feeling cozy, ya big banana?
  • Steven calling Topaz a "dangerous yellow coat".
  • Lars assesses his actions in the last episode, realizing they weren't just cowardly but very poorly though-out.
    Steven: Well, everyone else managed to get off the ship, so where were you?
    Lars: I ran and hid, Steven, like any sensible person would... do if they wanted to get trapped on a ship. Oh.
  • Steven fails to explain what a Gem destabilizer is.
    Steven: A destabilizer! That's perfect.
    Lars: A destabi-what?
    Steven: It's a weapon that disrupts a Gem's physical form.
    Lars: Cool, thanks for explaining. I still don't know what that means.
  • Steven tries a plan to grab the destablizer:
    Steven: I'm gonna need you to be my arms.
    Lars: Ugh, fine.
    Steven: Lars, pull my pants off.
    Lars: What?
    Steven: Trust me, I'm trying to save you!
    Lars: What if I don't want to be saved? What if I want to stay trapped here and fly around space, and why your pants, you weirdo?!
    • Honestly, the entirety of the pant-lasso scene. We don't get to see Steven this pissed too often.
      Steven: Okay, tie one of the legs into a lasso.
      Lars: I can't. They're on the floor.
      [Beat]
      Steven: What are they doing on the floor!?
      Lars: I don't know, Steven. What are we doing in space?
      [...]
      Steven: (After Lars fails to lasso the destablizer) Come on! One more try!
      Lars: I don't wanna try again...
      Steven: Lars...throw the lasso!
      Lars: Ugh. Fine! (throws the pants)
      [Beat]
      Steven: What is your problem, Lars!? Why did you do that!?
  • Steven and Lars have a big, emotional bonding moment... and Topaz starts blubbering like a ninny, too.
  • Topaz's appearance is huge and intimidating. Her voice? Not so much...
  • Topaz refers to her components by name and separately. It makes perfect sense in context, but it also comes with the humorous effect of making her sound like a Third-Person Person.
    Topaz: I don't know what Topaz would do if she didn't have Topaz!
    • She proceeds to make a comment that, again, makes perfect sense in context but makes her kind of sound like a narcissist.
      Topaz: I always want to tell myself how I'm helping me through this!
  • Topaz dabs her teary eyes and blows her nose with Steven's discarded pants.
  • Topaz makes a desperate attempt to defuse the situation when Aquamarine first discovers their escape attempt. Predictably, Aquamarine is not pleased.
    Topaz: They had this whole heartfelt thing about being there for each other and you missed it! It was so moving!
    Aquamarine: (draws her wand with an "I'm gonna kill you" look on her face)
  • When Steven and Topaz try to convince Aquamarine to talk it out rather than fight like they just did, Aquamarine's immediate response is her making an old lady face that just says, "Are you fucking kidding me?"

    "The Trial" 
  • Both Zircons in general are hilarious, with the defense being hilariously nervous and flabbergasted at Steven throughout the episode, and the prosecutor being ridiculously snide and self-absorbed.
    • Right from the start, the defense Zircon is incredibly cranky and anxious when she enters Steven's room, entering ranting about her position, yelling that she doesn't have time for "Rose Quartz"'s long story about "her" current form. Her expression when she tells Steven he's going on trial as soon as the door opens, followed immediately by its opening is hilarious.
    • The prosecution Zircon addresses Yellow Diamond by rambling an overly long compliment to her. Yellow Diamond responds with "Just 'My Diamond' will suffice, or we'll never get through this."
    • After the Prosecuting Zircon smugly finishes her argument, Defense Zircon could only resignedly admit that she's good.
    • Defense Zircon's "impression" of Pink Diamond's Pearl.
    Defense Zircon: WWWAAAATTCCHHH OOOUUUTTT MYYYYY DIIIIAAAMMOOOONNNDDD!
    • Becomes doubly hilarious when we find out what "Pink Pearl" is actually like.
    • Defense Zircon failing at asking a rhetorical question.
      Defense Zircon: The question no one seems to be asking is... How?
      Blue Diamond: I've been asking that question.
      Defense Zircon: (visibly nervous) Aaand right you are to ask, My Diamond!
    • After the defense Zircon is poofed by Yellow for her claims, the prosecutor immediately attempts to suck up to her Diamond. It ends about as well as you'd expect.
      Prosecution Zircon: Case closed! Right, my Diamond?
      Yellow Diamond: (turns around with a furious expression and fires electricity at her, immediately poofing her)
  • During Steven's prosecution, Lars is presented as evidence. Lars, understandably freaked out, starts yelling and asking questions... prompting the prosecuting Zircon to bubble his head to keep him quiet. And he's still shouting under the bubble for most of the episode!
  • Eyeball's testimony, which begins with her being somewhat intimidating and growling... and quickly devolves into her hilariously childish imitation of what "Rose" told her in a completely biased, abridged recap of "Bubbled."
    • The fact that Eyeball is an eye witness.
    • Yellow's reaction is absolutely priceless.
      Yellow Diamond: (smiles and puts hands together) Well, I'm convinced. Time to execute!
      • Made even funnier (in a dark sort of way) when you consider that Yellow Diamond has an actual, normal smile on her face as opposed to a Slasher Smile or Psychotic Smirk. That's right, the one time Yellow Diamond smiles out of joy rather than malice is at the idea of killing a war criminal. Card-Carrying Villain, much?
      • Yellow Diamond unambiguously and clearly trying to get the trial done as soon as possible just so they can kill "Rose" is darkly amusing by itself in general.
  • Steven is ordered to describe Pink Diamond's shattering. He assumes there was a struggle and that Rose probably "did some jump kicks and stuff", making up a ridiculously vague and half-assed "recollection" of what went down.
    • The beginning of the confession is also chuckle-worthy. Just picture Pink Diamond saying a half-hearted "No..." in an annoyed tone when her mortal enemy orders her to stop. You'll have Steven's impersonation of Pink Diamond.
      Steven: I was probably like "Stop!" and she was all like "Noooo...", so we fought.
    • Steven's description is one thing; the reactions of the other gems is another entirely. His defense Zircon repeatedly bangs her head against his platform in frustration whilst the prosecutor is clearly smug, a visibly annoyed Yellow Pearl rapidly types up what Steven is saying, and Blue Pearl can be observed making a sketch of Steven doing a jump kick complete with action lines.
      • Blue Pearl can earlier be seen scribbling an X over a picture of Steven's face after Prosecuting Zircon's spiel with a satisfied grin on her face. (Note that this is the first time Blue Pearl is seen smiling)
      • Really, the fact that Blue Pearl is doodling during a murder trial is just priceless. It makes perfect sense in context, when one considers that real-life courtrooms often have sketch artists to draw the proceedings due to cameras not being allowed. Yellow Pearl was the Court Scribe, Blue Pearl the Court Artist. However, her drawings still look like doodles and not court portraits.
      • The mere fact that Blue Diamond listened to Steven's bullshit story with a straight face, jump kicks and all, and the only thing that bothered her was that he got the weapon wrong.
  • Yellow Pearl Crying Cute.
    • Her expression is notedly different from those of everyone else—while the others seem either shocked or genuinely feeling Blue's grief, Yellow Pearl's expression screams "Oh dang it, not this again!"
    • Meanwhile, when the blue wave of grief hits Yellow Diamond, she merely squints and seems to be trying to blink back the tears.
      • Whereas everyone else in the room at least cries a little, Yellow Zircon isn't affected at all. Well, okay, she is, but not very much. Her genuinely confused expression about it is priceless.
  • As the trial flies off the rails at the defense Zircon's implication about one of the Diamonds being involved with the shattering of Pink, Steven immediately takes advantage of the situation and goes to rescue Lars. There is something inexplicably funny about Lars' calling The Diamond Authority "Giant crazy chicks".

    "Off Colors" 
  • "Don't beat yourself up, Lars. That's what the killer robots are for."
  • Lars tells Steven to stand perfectly still since he saw a movie once and thinks the robots can't see them so long as they don't move. Then the robot scans them and makes a sound when it locates Steven's gem.
  • Everything about Padparadscha.
    Fluorite: Padparadscha can only predict things that just happened.
    Padparadscha: Here comes Fluorite!
    • After Robonoids appear scaring everyone.
      Padparadscha: Careful everyone, we're about to be found!
    • After Lars is brought Back from the Dead with his body turned pink.
      Padparadscha: Oh my, something incredible is going to happen to Lars!
  • After Lars saves Padparadscha by kicking away a robonoid before it can shatter her and then saves her from falling debris, he gives this accurate assessment.
  • Although tragic, the Off Colors starting to celebrate Lars' "victory", even as his limp body falls to the ground, is just the wrongest kind of hilarious.
    Padparadscha: We're winning! We're winning!

    "Lars' Head" 
  • Steven apologizing to Lars for not asking his permission in bringing him back from the dead.
  • Steven tries to prove Lars is not a zombie by listening to his heartbeat. He hears it about once every 3 seconds, getting more distressed the longer he has to wait.
    Steven: That's... pretty slow. But I think we can rule out pink zombie.
    Left Rutile: (genuinely relieved) Thank the stars!
    Right Rutile: (Whispers to the other) What's a zombie?
  • Padparadscha's lines this episode are also a highlight:
    • After Lars is resurrected and turns pink.
      Padparadscha: I predict that Lars will change in hue. What a mystery!
    • After Steven and the Off Colors block the entrance to the Kindergarten in order to prevent more robonoids from entering.
      Fluorite: They seem to have overlooked us for the time being.
      Padparadscha: Quickly! Block the entrance!
    • After Steven asks for room so he can enter Lars' head.
      Steven: Everyone stand back.
      Rhodonite and Rutile: (immediately step back)
      Padparadscha: (steps back three seconds after them)
    • After Steven returns from Earth and brought back food for Lars.
      Rhodonite: (picks up a carton of juice) What is this box?
      Steven: It's juice. We drink it back on Earth.
      The other Off Colors: (loudly talk about Earth in disbelief)
      Padparadscha: Steven's back!
  • What's the first thing Steven does when he realizes he's traveled back to the temple? Drink a few glasses of water, then eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich while crying Tears of Joy.
    Steven: Life is beautifuuuullll!"
  • Steven insists that what's going on with Lars' hair is much simpler than a wormhole. He then goes on a long-winded explanation that really brings home how much Continuity Lockout the show has racked up, sounding just like a fan struggling to explain things to a newbie. The Off Colors look totally confused as he goes on.
  • When Steven uses Lars's hair as a portal into Lion's mane, Lion gets a 'What the Hell?' look on his face when Steven suddenly comes out of his head.
  • Steven trying to pull Lars through his own hair by the arm. Unsurprisingly, it doesn't work.
    Lars: Ow! Stop, stop! You're gonna break my elbow!
  • Even though it's a very touching and selfless gesture from Lars, some of what he says when convincing the Off-Colours to go with Steven to Earth is very funny.
    Lars: Earth is way better than this! There's no robots flying around, just seagulls that fly in front of the sunset, it's beautiful! Just go, you'll see.
  • Pearl's little Double Take when Steven comes home; in the middle of her panicking, she quickly says hi to him without even realizing it at first. Steven actually waves back and then cheerfully says "I'm back!" like he just returned from school or grocery shopping, not from an alien planet in another galaxy.
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    "Dewey Wins" 
  • When Steven leaves the house to take Connie home, everyone is so paranoid they're all staring at him through the window, with Amethyst and Pearl in particular looking completely bug-eyed.
    Steven: Don't worry, I'm not going back to space or anything!
    (Steven laughs and walks out of their sight)
    Steven: They're never going to let me out of their sight again.
  • Dewey finds out Lars is still in space, and declares he will put his full effort behind finding his replacement at the Big Donut. In front of his parents.
  • Mayor Dewey being subjected to Produce Pelting ends up on TubeTube.
    Steven: Only twelve people have seen it.
    Dewey: Twelve people?! That's half the town! I'm finished, Universe. I don't know of many political figures that have made a comeback after getting a tomato to the face!
  • Mayor Dewey tries to complement Steven by calling him "the son I never had."
    Steven: You... have a son.
    Dewey: I know that! You're just very different from him, is all.

    "Gemcation" 
  • While suggesting the idea of a vacation to Steven, Amethyst and Pearl are noticeably stiff, still seemingly reeling from Steven surrendering himself... until Garnet starts speaking stage directions, revealing that they rehearsed it. And that Greg told her to give it more enthusiasm.
    • And when Greg is explaining why he's decided they need to go on vacation he says that rather than searching online when he was younger, they used to just go around houses and test doors to find one that was unlocked. And based on what we know, he could be serious about having done that before.
  • Pearl reads in the directions left to "Remove all shoes before entering" and looks down to see a pair just outside the door. She makes a noise as if she's understood... and then throws the pair over her shoulder into the field.
  • Both Amethyst and Pearl find a snake and name it "Party Guy". Then it bites Pearl and she starts fighting it offscreen.
    Amethyst: [next scene] It only bit Pearl once, but, like, we're Gems. She'll be okay.
    Pearl: [laying on a pool recliner with an ice pack on her head] It isn't the pain. It's the surprise.
  • Greg leaves the hot tub so he doesn't turn into "a raisin", and Garnet invites Steven to come in: "Steven, you should join me. Become a raisin!"
  • While it's also a bit sad, Steven finally admitting the problem when Pearl tries to get through to him led to a funny moment:
    Steven: Connie hates me!
    Pearl: What.
    Greg: (He, Garnet, and Amethyst run out onto the porch) We weren't listening!
    Garnet: Also, continue, Steven.
  • Right after that when Steven trails off into himself in explaining why he hadn't told Greg and the Gems about his fight with Connie, Greg's attempt at a considerate dad joke (though he likely genuinely couldn't make out the last word):
    Greg: You were... embroidered? Embroiled? Em... boldened to talk to your old man about your problems?
  • Ronaldo's last text message:
    Steven! When I didn't hear back from you, I was sure a nefarious plot was afoot. I ran to your place to check for clues. Only after breaking a window to get in did I see the note on your door that said "gone vacationing". Just know, that I broke the window with your best interests at heart. I also took my Koala Princess set back.

    "Raising the Barn" 
  • While waiting for Connie to call him, Steven's sitting on the beach and writing a song, very into it, and then his phone starts ringing, startling him.
    Steven: I wish I could tell you that I- [his phone starts ringing] AHH! AHHH! AHHHH! [he grabs the phone and it slips out of his hands, causing him to flail for a few seconds before finally catching it]
  • Peridot tries to dissuade Lapis from leaving by pointing to their "meep morps"; specifically, that they're installations, and without the context of the barn, they'll become performance pieces.
    Steven: It's okay. Performance art isn't bad, just misunderstood.
  • Peridot demonstrates how she's been "bending over backwards" trying to cheer up Lapis during Steven's absence.
  • During their search for Pumpkin, Steven and Peridot run into Onion selling onions. Make whatever you will of that pun.

    "Back to the Kindergarten" 
  • Amethyst walks in on Steven washing himself, who brings up the inconveniences of Peridot living in his bathroom again.
    Amethyst: Yo, Steven! This a bad time?
    Steven: Of the three things I have to do in the sink now, this is the one I least mind you seeing.
  • While sad at the same time, it's sorta hilarious to see Peridot being so dramatic about Lapis leaving Earth, moping about in Steven's bathroom while listening to sad country music on her tablet computer.
  • Amethyst invites Peridot along to check out the Prime Kindergarten, saying she can "make us feel dumb by telling us stuff we don't know." Peridot reluctantly agrees, moaning "I miss that...", and Amethyst proceeds to sling Peridot over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes and carry her away.
  • This:
    Peridot: (being carried by Amethyst) ...Can I bring my music?
    Amethyst: No.
  • Peridot points out she's able to tell one Amethyst had curly hair from the iron deposits in her hole. A curling iron.
  • The gardening montage has some great moments:
    • Peridot tries to use her metal powers to move a trowel, and ends up flinging some dirt into Amethyst's face.
    • To simulate rain, Amethyst turns into a helicopter so Steven and Peridot can use water guns from above.
  • Even though it's a Tear Jerker moment, there is some humour about Peridot yelling, "This clod's just like us! Too dumb to go with the program!" To a flower.
    • And then it turns out the flower isn't a flower after all, but a growth on the head of some kind of corrupted Gem.
      Peridot: OH, OF COURSE!

    "Sadie Killer" 
  • Sadie complains about having to restock napkins because they empty out so much so quickly. The next shot, Steven is casually taking an entire stack out from a holder, and he never explains why he does that.
    • ...And then he does it again the next day, but Sadie still doesn't say anything or pay too much attention.
    • Well, they are always free. One has to wonder what he's doing with all the napkins, though...
  • Steven's failed attempts at being scary and tough.
    Buck: [amused] You can't help being cute no more than I can help being cool.
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    "Kevin Party" 
  • The missing poster Steven puts up for Lion lists his likes and dislikes. So what does Lion dislike, according to Steven? "Enthusiasm".
  • Kevin has an interesting choice for Accidental Misnaming.
    Kevin: Your name is "Steven"? Weird. I thought it was "Clarence".
  • Kevin's reasoning for helping Steven reconcile with Connie:
    Kevin: Everyone's gonna be talking about this night until they're old grandparents, and their last words to their grandchildren will be "Kevin throws the best parties." I wouldn't normally do this because you're a pitiful kid with snot coming out of your nose, but I need those old people to whisper my name when they die.
  • Steven's attempt at a pick-up line: "Nice weather you're wearing..."
  • Steven surprised to see Lion at Kevin's party.
    Steven: Lion? Wait, you're the one who had him the whole time?
    Kevin: What? No, I'm allergic to dogs.
  • Though sad, Connie's baffled attitude towards Steven on reuniting with him gets a pretty good reaction.
    Connie: I came here hoping we could talk, but it seems like you only want to talk to Kevin. I guess Kevin is your best friend now!
    Kevin and Steven: (speaking and waving their hands in sync) What?! No, no, no!!!
  • Kevin's attempt at introducing Stevonnie:
    Kevin: Hey, everybody, are you having fun?
    Everyone: Yeah!
    Kevin: Liars! You're all so fake. You make me sick.
  • Kevin tries to chase after Steven and Connie - who are riding on Lion - and falls into the pool because he doesn't know Lion can Walk on Water.

    "Lars of the Stars" 
  • Steven and Connie briefly being distracted by Lion rolling over onto his back like a housecat.
  • Lars. That lazy, good for nothing dork... is now an interstellar space pirate throwing around one-liners, beloved by his ragtag crew of misfits, and regularly scores victories against the Gems. Just the sheer disconnect between the character on Earth and in space is hilarious.
  • There's something tragically hilarious about Lars becoming an infamous space pirate, then throwing a childish fit when he finds out Sadie's getting along fine without him.
    Lars: How is she having such a good time without me?! Does she even know I died out here?
  • Padparadscha returns in all her Captain Obvious glory. Every one of the Off-Colors gets a cool, action series-esque title card with a fun blurb about them. Hers?
    • Several minutes after Steven and Connie reunite with Lars and are in the middle of a completely unrelated conversation about how the Off Colors got off Homeworld. Even better is how she interrupts and Lars continues the conversation without missing a beat.
      Lars: They're more than [my crew]. Without them I'd still be stuck in a cave on the Gem Homeworld. They were able to figure out a way off that lame, old planet.
      Rhodonite: But we never would've been able to steal a ship without Lars. He can slip past all the sensors undetected!
      Padparadscha: Her name... is Connie.
    • When Stevonnie is about to pilot the Star Skipper.
      Lars: We'll watch your back while you take out those guns. Now launch!
      Padparadscha: Captain Lars is about to give the order... to launch.
  • Emerald. Just...Emerald. She's supposed to be dangerous, but between her bombastic mannerisims, evident history of being outsmarted by Lars and the Off-Colors, and her frantic disbelief when Lars powers down his ship's shields because she doesn't really want to destroy her own beloved starship, it's hard to not grin at her.
  • When Steven and Connie are giving the discourse leading to them becoming Stevonnie, it seems like they're going to say that, like Lars and Sadie, they are... best friends! Way to troll the shippers.
  • The targeting system on the Star Skipper. It labels targets as "Bingo Bongo" and missiles as "No."

    "Jungle Moon" 
  • Stevonnie struggles to get the damaged Star Skipper under control.
    Stevonnie: What is wrong with you, ship?!
    (A diagnostic screen pops up, showing all the ship's systems are damaged)
    Stevonnie: Oh... pretty much everything. Well, at least the display works...
    (The display promptly goes out)
  • A few moments from Stevonnie's survival montage, including:
  • A lot of the dream.
    • One of the key points being the initial dissonance of Connie's mother talking on the phone... while reflecting Yellow Diamond's cold ruthlessness and discussing the finer points of interplanetary invasion.
    • And after that? What's essentially Connie's mother cosplaying as Yellow Diamond. And it's surprisingly effective.
    • Also, when Stevonnie tells "Yellow Diamond" she would like to command a drop ship, the latter petulantly responds "Well, when you have a colony of your own, then you may command whatever you want". Stevonnie follows this up by deciding she wants a Colony too. The look on Yellow Diamond's face is priceless, as though she's thinking "I had to bring up the 'C' word."
    • The very short scene after Yellow Diamond contacts the leader of the fleet. Stevonnie decides she wants to do it too, and so she quickly gets up on Yellow Diamond's chair... and begins mashing the yellow and blue diamond symbols on the screen like a toddler pressing random keys on a toy piano. And then Yellow Diamond grabs her arm and yanks it as if she were a mother disciplining her misbehaving child.
      Yellow Diamond: DON'T TOUCH THAT!
    • While we can't hear it due to the nature of the dream but in light of The Reveal, it's very humorous to know that the actual Pink Diamond's bratty tirade was done in the deep, mature voice of Susan Egan.
  • When Stevonnie accesses the computer of the abandoned Diamond Tower, one of the files they finds is a selfie Yellow Pearl took of herself and Yellow Diamond.
  • Lars's reaction to the alien, which interrupts a stirring battle cry.
    Lars: YEEEEHAAA-uugggh!What the heck is that?

    "Your Mother and Mine" 
  • The episode opens with Lars making a rather depressing captain's log — the thrusters are down and they're a long way from Earth — when Steven suddenly tumbles through his hair holding a giant sandwich.
    Steven: Who wants a party sub?!
    • It should also be noted that Lars isn’t recording his log, he’s just narrating it out loud to the Off-Colors. Rhodonite asks if they’re supposed to be writing it down.
  • When Steven is talking, you can see Lars poking at his hair. It gives off the implication that Steven has already come back a few times already. All unannounced.
  • Lars fires up the newly-fixed Nova Thrusters... Only for them to fail anticlimactically and knock out all the power.
    (everyone groans)
    Padparadscha: Captain Lars, don't use the Thrusters! We're going to lose power!
    Lars: Thanks, Padparadscha.
  • Garnet shapeshifting into Steven to fit through Lars's hair.
    Fluorite: Another Steven?!
    Lars: THERE'S MORE OF YOU?!
    • Then when Garnet changes back...
      Rutile (left): Her eyes...
      Rutile (right): A fusion?
      Padparadscha: He's going to bring back ANOTHER STEVEN!
  • Most of the Off-Colors are shocked and scared when they hear Garnet mention Rose Quartz due to the versions of the Rebellion story told on Homeworld. Fluorite, on the other hand...
    Fluorite: Don't be silly, Rose Quartz isn't real.
  • Padparadscha's line before Garnet starts telling her story.
    Padparadscha: ROSE QUARTZ!!!
  • Garnet's general demeanor in this episode is best described as "kid in a candy store". Doubles as Heartwarming.
  • In Garnet's flashback, the weird overly dramatic scream of despair Pink Diamond lets out before calling Blue Diamond and Yellow Diamond for help against Rose Quartz.
  • Padparadscha is remarkably snarky in this episode.
    • When Garnet starts fawning over her.
      Garnet: And Padparadscha. An orange Sapphire, how rare!
      Padparadscha: I predict you're going to make everyone uncomfortable.
    • And when the Off Colours try to restart the drive core.
      Lars: Come on, come on!
      Rutile (left): Strange.
      Rutile (right): The core should have come online by now...
      Padparadscha: I predict that Captain Lars will be pressing the wrong button.
      (beat)
      Lars: Oh.

    "The Big Show" 
  • Jenny calling the old camcorder Steven is using "a giant shoebox".
  • Sadie's mom Barb cracking some self-deprecating jokes.
    Barb: You know you can practice while I'm in the house, right? It won't bother me. I'm old, I can't hear anything!
  • Greg compliments Buck on his werewolf costume, and Buck points out he's supposed to be a witch's cat.
    Jenny: I know our costumes look cheap, but when we hit it big, we'll have the best tombstone hats money can buy!
  • "I love enthusiasm!"
  • The Cool Kids argue over Buck not knowing how to tie a tie.
    Sour Cream: Didn't your dad teach you? He used to wear them every day.
    Buck: (wearing his tie like a scarf) They were clip-ons.

    "Pool Hopping" 
  • Garnet working at the Big Donut, with an employee T-shirt awkwardly stretched over her epaulets.
    • Also when she spontaneously quits, she doesn’t take the uniform off, she just flexes so hard that the uniform explodes.
  • Garnet calling Vidalia "Mother Onion"! Brings to mind "Mom Universe".
  • Vidalia tells Garnet to strike a pose.
    Garnet: It's struck.
  • Garnet gets distracted thinking of another timeline where Onion wound up going to Homeworld with Steven. Steven points out that Onion is still on Earth, and points to him just as he's about to climb over a fence with a huge bag of (presumably) stolen goods.
  • "We got pepper flakes, and we're not afraid to use 'em!"
  • Steven and Garnet modelling for a portrait for Vidalia, who had previously been working on a still life of... a wooden stool.
    Garnet: Paint me like one of your Amethysts.
  • While the scene itself quickly becomes sad, seeing Garnet completely overwhelmed by a pile of kittens is kinda hilarious.
    Garnet: [with an armful of kittens] Anything could happen to these cats!
  • Garnet names the cat she just adopted Cat Steven.

    "Letters to Lars" 
  • Lars begins his Captain's Log with "...I think it's a Friday."
  • Ronaldo doesn't believe the story about the abductions, solely because he refuses to take what the government says at face value... until Steven reveals "I'm the one who told the government!" Then Ronaldo is upset that Lars really is stuck in space... and not him.
  • Pearl reveals she got a cell phone... but she hasn't quite worked out how to use it yet.
    Pearl: What number do I dial for "mass text"?
  • Jamie's incredibly awkward improv troupe, the Beach City Laugh Guards.
    • Pearl and Steven are the only people in the audience; there are more than twice as many people on stage. Pearl keeps insisting they do an act based on "Steven" (Peridot, who is part of the troupe, complains that they do "Steven" every week), while Steven can't make up his mind and keeps shouting out suggestions.
    • Jamie's attempt at miming holding a plunger. Pearl can't resist the urge to heckle, pointing out he looks more like he's holding a skinny submarine sandwich.
    • Former Mayor Dewey comes in at the end and gets the scene completely wrong.
      Dewey: Hello ladies, it's me, the waiter in this restaurant! Can I offer you some more... worms?!
      Jamie: Black out!
      Pearl: ...It was better than last week.
  • Peedee Fryman's gone into business for himself... but since he's not old enough to drive, his tater tot food truck (which is made from Mr. Dewey's old "Mayor-Mobile") is just another food stand. And Steven still insists on ordering fry bits.
  • Most of the episode consists of Lars evidently reading Steven’s letter... until the ending reveals that Steven’s voiceover was actually him sitting Behind the Black and reading the letter to Lars, who’s very annoyed at how Steven apparently spent so much time writing a letter just to come personally anyways.
    • He also points out that he actually doesn’t know half the people Steven talks about in his letter and wonders why Steven told him about them. He specifically notes that he has no idea who Peridot is.

    "Can't Go Back" 
  • Ronaldo waking Steven up in the middle of the night because he saw something weird in his telescope... again. When Steven asks if he should have called Mayor Nanefua, Ronaldo replies, "Not a fourth time!"
  • "You've found something weird every day since my dad got you that telescope." "I know, I'm amazing."
  • Steven finding out that Lapis has been using the Orb on the moon base to watch the Crystal Gems.
    Steven: You're spying on us?
    Lapis: Well, I wouldn't call it spying... because that would make me feel bad.
  • Lapis admits she's starting to regret her new home... and phrases it as childishly as possible: "The Moon sucks! There's nothing here!"

    "A Single Pale Rose" 
  • Amethyst trying to teach Pearl how to get more out of her cell phone.
  • Amethyst taking a selfie of herself for Pearl's new wallpaper.
  • When Amethyst tells Pearl to get a "case" for her phone, Pearl replies that she already has one... and pulls a briefcase out of her gem's Bag of Holding.
  • Amethyst walks in with a phone case she found in her room... on Pearl struggling not to talk about Pink Diamond's shattering. Pearl gleefully relishes the chance to Change the Uncomfortable Subject; she stores the phone in her gem and then proceeds to walk out in the most awkwardly stiff way possible, still holding that briefcase.
    • Amethyst's reaction makes it even funnier, as she holds up the phone case when Pearl walks right by her: "Wait! C'mon, just — put it in this, then put it in your head!"
  • Pearl randomly vacuuming the warp pad.
  • Pearl experiencing a serious case of Rummage Fail trying to retrieve her phone from her gem. She pulls out a TV remote control, a violin, a book on aviation engineering, one of Steven's spare t-shirts, a wad of cash, and what appears to be a roll of camera film.
  • When Steven goes inside Pearl's gem, he encounters another Pearl inside... who promptly decides to file him away under "S", right between a stethoscope and a sticker.
  • "There's a Pearl inside Pearl's pearl?!"
  • While searching through her items for her phone, we can see that Pearl has collected at least nine phone numbers, some of which are signed with things like hearts and a lipstick kiss. Given that Amethyst says she hasn't used her phone since she got it, she may not even know what they are.
  • The second Pearl Steven encounters is blubbering in grief and despair about Rose deciding to have a baby. He understandably feels weirded out.
  • As Steven walks through Pearl's memories of immediately after the Diamonds corrupted all the remaining Gems on Earth, he bitterly rants about how Pearl had better not have accidentally left the phone in her pocket, or on the dresser, or dropped it in the toilet...
    "Seems about as likely as putting it away in your repressed war memories!"
  • For some more Black Comedy, Pearl's reaction to the fake gem shards that Rose intends to use to fake the assassination of her Diamond persona with. Bear in mind, Rose is basically showing Pearl the Gem equivalent to a convincingly faked corpse.
    Rose: [giddily] Convincing?
    Pearl: [visibly horrified] Very much so, my Diamond.
  • Also a bit of a Tear Jerker, but it turns out the "Renegade Pearl" may have betrayed Homeworld, but remained loyal to her Diamond the entire time. So much for Bad Pearl.
  • Doubles as a Moment of Awesome, but Pink Diamond willingly faked her own death, orchestrated and fought on both sides of a rebellion for at least a few hundred years before that, and was a general in an all-out war against her sister/mother figures when they tried to avenge her death. Keep in mind, this was all so that she could cosplay her OC/Gemsona, Rose Quartz.
  • The episode's cliffhanger, Steven blithely and accidentally revealing his shocking discovery to Garnet and Amethyst (who were standing right behind him the whole time), is pretty hilariously abrupt. Amethyst has the exact same reaction as the fandom's:
    Amethyst: WhaaaaaaAAAAAAT?

    "Now We're Only Falling Apart" 
  • Amethyst casually comments that after all the shocking revelations about Rose, "You could tell me Rose invented cotton candy and I'd believe it!"
  • Steven slipping on the ice as he goes after Sapphire. The fact that it happens during an emotionally tense moment makes it even funnier.
  • Pearl's cross-eyed expression when she breaks from her holographic trance, upon Pink expressing excitement at the Quartzes emerging.
  • Although her reaction is sad, Pink using the device on the moon base to look in the Kindergarten, forgetting she wasn't physically there, and trying to embrace a newly emerged Quartz is pretty funny.
  • Pearl looking away from Pink, only to find that she'd already changed form when she'd looked back.
  • Pink Diamond's first attempts at mingling with the Amethysts in her "Rose Quartz" disguise. She's actually happy that she's being pushed around and rough-housed with like a common Gem.
  • Ever notice that guffaw-like laugh Steven makes when he's happy? Apparently, from what the flashback tells us, he inherited it from his mom.
  • Pink/Rose going on about how she'd never heard of a fusion between two different types of Gems before.
  • Pearl awkwardly trying to fuse with Rose by lifting her up and shouting "Fusion ACTIVATE!"
    • And then having Reality Ensues occur by her not being able to hold Rose up and she staggers sideways to try and maintain balance before they collapse offscreen.
  • Pink/Rose and Pearl awkwardly laying on each other after having failed to maintain their fusion.
    Pearl: This is very not allowed.
  • Sapphire making a comment about how Pearl swept Pink/Rose off her feet.
  • As tragic as Ruby running away and leaving only a note is, the fact that she started writing Sapphire's name too close to the edge of the paper and had to put the final "RE" on the next line is pretty hilarious.

    "What's Your Problem?" 
  • After Ruby runs away, Steven asks Sapphire if she can use her future vision to see a scenario where Ruby returns, leading to this bizarre vision.
  • Pearl trying to cheer up Sapphire by assuring her Ruby will return... because if she doesn't there would be no Garnet. And what on Earth would they do without Garnet? And they're so perfect together, it can't be over! Needless to say none of this helps and only makes it so that Pearl joins Sapphire in crying uncontrollably.
  • Amethyst trying to call out for Ruby underwater. It works as well as you'd expect.
  • The sight of Amethyst shrinking herself to fit inside a shell, especially the way her gem takes up her whole body.
  • Amethyst ordering a pizza with every topping. It’s piled so high Kiki gives them spoons to make it easier to eat, and leaves them with a concerned expression. At one point, Steven wraps a whole glob of it in a napkin, presumably to eat it later.
  • Jenny assuming that Ruby was crying because of how red she was. Or other way around, she thinks Ruby is so red because she must've been sobbing so hard.
  • Amethyst taking the form of a helicopter to escape from Steven and avoid telling him her own problems. He keeps chasing after her, causing them both to spiral out of control.
    Amethyst: We're crashing!
    Steven: [screaming against the wind] But how... does that make you... feel!?
    • The way Copter!Amethyst's expression instantly goes from 'forlorn' to Oh, Crap! when she's reminded that Steven can basically fly.
  • When Amethyst is trying to fly away in helicopter form, she tells Steven, who is hanging on inside her head/cockpit, to "get out of [her] head".
    Steven: Am I getting too personal?
    Amethyst: Dude, you're literally inside my head!
  • All the contorted faces Steven makes when Copter!Amethyst flies too fast.
  • Amethyst declares herself "THE DING DONG SUNSHINE FUTURE!"
  • When Steven tells her she's "the most mature Crystal Gem", Amethyst's response is to flail her limbs around and yell "nooo!" in the most childish manner possible.

    "The Question" 
  • Steven compares Ruby and Sapphire to sugar and flour: "I love eating them separately, but I still want cake!"
    • Doubles as Heartwarming, as it goes to show how much Steven cares for Garnet, as both seperate components and a singular being.
  • Ruby, while learning to exist independently again, encounters a cowboy comic. Finding similarities between their situations, Ruby proceeds to base the next day of her life entirely on the cowboy in said comic. It sounds wacky already on paper, and the execution takes it up to eleven.
  • As Ruby steps out onto the plains in her cowboy outfit, you can see the size tag still hanging from the back (apparently Ruby's costume is an extra-small), which Steven hastily removes.
  • Amethyst doing an over-the-top Transformation Sequence when turning herself into a horse. It's especially hilarious because she's usually so casual about shape-shifting.
    • There's also some hilarity that comes from the fact that she's obviously enjoying being a horse.
  • Ruby talks like a cowboy (i.e. with a southern drawl) the entire time she's LARP-ing.
  • When the gang comes across a densely packed bush, Ruby is delighted about the fact that she doesn't know what's behind it, since Sapphire isn't there to predict for her. She excitedly crawls through the bushes... and nearly falls off the steep cliff right behind them. She's still ecstatic that she didn't know there was a ravine there.
    Ruby: I almost fell down there. And it was all my choice! YEE-HAW, INDEPENDENCE!
  • The "Ruby Rider"-montage has some funny moments too.
    • Ruby tries to catch a bull with a lasso, but just manages to get the lasso loosely wrapped around its horns. The bull becomes pissed and starts chasing them around.
    • When the gang encounters a rattlesnake, Ruby tries to imitate a Showdown at High Noon by glaring at it and then pulling a gun... except she doesn't have a gun, so she ends up scaring the snake off with finger-guns.
    • The song itself has a funny tidbit too, as Ruby describes Sapphire as being "rather cold".
  • While also Heartwarming, Ruby's Wacky Marriage Proposal is pretty funny with how it basically comes out of a Spaghetti Western movie (one with healthier sexual tension).
  • At the end, Amethyst walks up to Pearl while still in horse form, causing her to briefly freak out.
    Amethyst: Psst. It's me. I'm a horse.

    "Made of Honor" 
  • This quote:
  • Ruby wants flames on their wedding invitations, Sapphire wants to add dolphins. Steven's Crazy-Prepared enough to have that exact theme already in his wedding planning book.
    Sapphire: How long have you been putting this together?
    Steven: My entire life.
  • Peridot complains that they've spent "all day" preparing invitations. Amethyst then points out they're done, with ten.
  • Amethyst casually tossing folding chairs onto the beach during the wedding planning, while Pearl follows behind to align them properly.
  • Bismuth falling flat on her face when she reforms.
  • Steven pops Bismuth's bubble, and Steven has a hilariously awkward lead-in to recent events:
    Bismuth: Rose—I mean... Steven.
    Steven: Oh, there's a third option now...
  • Bismuth takes the news that Rose Quartz and Pink Diamond were the same person surprisingly well... though she does have to vent a bit by dunking her face in the Burning Room's lava pit and yelling her head off.
  • When Bismuth learns that Garnet un-fused in reaction to the whole Pink/Rose situation, she reacts the exact same way Steven did the previous episode when it seemed Ruby was going to permanently break up with Sapphire.
  • Bismuth not knowing what a wedding is despite getting excited for it.
  • As Steven shows Bismuth the setup for the wedding, Peridot leans against the wrong chair and starts a domino effect, falling on her back in the process. Pearl immediately flies into a frenzy while Amethyst laughs at Peridot.
  • Ruby and Sapphire's wedding registry, which contains a scarf, a tennis racket, and Elite Beat Meat Mania.
  • One of the lines Steven suggests Bismuth say for her surprise appearance is, "Did you bis-muth me?" Bismuth is left utterly impressed. Despite that, she ends up using that line after all when she finally greets the other gems at the end of the episode.
  • Steven's failed attempt at a cool entrance for Bismuth.
    Steven: Including... (gestures to the house)
    Everyone else: (turns around) Pearl!
  • Steven finds Bismuth at the forge, making weapons and then tossing each one into a corner. People have different ways of venting, but Bismuth's way to brood involves forging weapons.
  • As Steven runs off to get Bismuth, he tells the rest of the Crystal Gems not to drop their soda cans. When the Gems see Bismuth again, they all drop their soda cans... except for Peridot, who thinks that it's some kind of game that she won, and has no idea who Bismuth is.
    Peridot: Ha! I win! Also, less importantly, who are you?
    • Also rather cute, but since Ruby's hands are full, Sapphire is holding both of their cans, right before she drops them.

    "Reunited" 
  • The promotional art for this episode:
    Steven: Looking forward to a drama-free wedding!
    (Mortimer is shoving his wing into his own face)
    Kelsey: Does this kid even watch his show?
    J. P.: I saw a post on Tumblr that said everyone is getting shattered.
  • During the opening musical number, Steven shaves in preparation for the wedding, even though he's only got a single facial hair. What's more, he appears to be using the razor Garnet gave him when he was a baby in "Three Gems and a Baby''.
  • Ruby telling Sapphire not to look at her before the wedding, even with future vision.
  • Amethyst noting that maybe roses weren't the best choice as flowers given The Reveal.
  • Just the entire ceremony in general gives the impression that while the Crystal Gems have done quite a bit of research into what a wedding actually is, there's still a few things they haven't quite figured out. But it's charmingly funny.
    • Peridot doesn't entirely understand how being a flower-girl works, as she wildly flings the flowers into the crowd and even knocks Mr. Fryman out of his chair when flowers hit him in the face. Somehow.
      Peridot: Flowers for YOU, flowers for YOU, flowers for YOU! (to Steven) Wedding Commander, all flowers have been deployed!
    • Ruby gets so excited when she sees Sapphire in her tux that she hurries down the stairs to the beach (forcing Greg to pick up speed with the music), burning her footprints into them in the process, and bursting into flame to hurry forward to the wedding canopy. Amethyst quickly rushes over and stomps out some residual flames.
    • It's also a little funny that the boisterous, tomboyish Ruby is the one in the wedding dress and the refined, regal Sapphire is the one in the tuxedo.
      • It's even funnier if you know that some less tolerant countries dub Ruby to be male. It's fun to imagine that part of the reason the showrunners put the "male" in a dress and the female in the tux was to screw with those dubbers.
      • Heck, the whole wedding becomes kind of funny if you imagine Rebecca Sugar and the Crewniverse getting back at those dubbers. Ruby and Sapphire are getting married, no more ambiguity.
  • Bismuth misses her cue with the rings because of her Tears of Joy.
  • Steven asks Sapphire if she's nervous, to which she serenely replies that she isn't. The camera then pans down to an ice crystal forming at her foot, which she quickly steps on.
  • Steven's Ladies and Germs routine singles out Onion as an individual. Steven apparently still isn't sure if he's human.
  • When Steven gets to Lion, Lion is busy chowing down on a crystal lizard with Cat Steven asleep on his mane.
  • The "I do's", while incredibly heartwarming, are funny as well.
    Steven: Ruby, do you take this gem, to have and to hold, on this, and every other planet in the universe?
    Ruby: I DO!
    Steven: Sapphire, do you-
    Sapphire: Yes.
    Steven: (annoyed) You didn't let me finish!
    Sapphire: ...I'm just very excited.
  • Garnet tosses the bouquet so high into the air, it flies out of sight with a Twinkle In The Sky. A few minutes later, it lands on Bismuth's head, who catches it while looking confused.
  • Nanefua's guards are shown dancing with her, and one of them break-dances.
  • Bill Dewey and Jamie the mailman commiserating over their respective miseries: Dewey still misses his old job as mayor, and Jamie isn't quite as over Garnet as he said he was in "I Am My Mom". They look around sadly while they mope about the fact that neither of them have dance partners, before deciding to dance with each other.
  • Bismuth wore armor to the wedding because it's the nicest thing she had to wear. During the reception, she's seen getting chatted up by Ronaldo, who also wore armor, to her confusion.
  • The mere fact that Bismuth and Peridot immediately hit it off together by virtue of being the most aggressive gems there.
  • Greg's plan on dealing with Blue Diamond. Made even more hilarious by everyone else's reactions to said plan.
    Greg: Guess it’s time to work the old Universe charm!
    Everyone: NO!
  • Steven needs to sleep to communicate with the Cluster, but can't because Blue and Yellow Diamond are making too much of a racket in an attempt to get the Cluster to form. So Greg starts playing a lullaby and he falls asleep almost instantly.
  • There's something inherently funny about how the Diamonds wake the Cluster up. Yellow Diamond's hand ship just repeatedly hits the ground, akin to smacking an old television set to get the picture working.
  • The Cluster lets everyone know it's on Earth's side by giving a thumbs-up. Then it gets into an arm-wrestling match with Yellow Diamond's ship.
  • Ronaldo drawing his sword at the Cluster before Peedee pulls him away.
  • Garnet shouting "This was supposed to be MY day!" when confronting Blue Diamond. Who would have thought the current leader of the Crystal Gems would also be a Bridezilla? Not that it's not understandable under the circumstances.
    • Though it turns out to be part of a bigger plan, it's pretty amusing in the moment to see Garnet approach Blue with a Badass Boast and "Stronger Than You" playing, only to ineffectually smack her foot while a bemused Blue asks if that's really all she had in mind.
  • Lapis makes her big entrance by dropping the barn on Blue Diamond. Doubles as an awesome moment.
  • When everyone helps Steven hold up his shield against Blue Diamond's attack, Lion also joins by squishing his snout against it.
  • Peridot using her ferrokinesis to (ineffectually) throw soda cans at Blue Diamond... immediately followed by her (slightly more effective) Fastball Special moment with Bismuth, which causes Peridot to land right on Blue Diamond's face.
    • After the first battle with Blue, Peridot and Amethyst begin bragging about how awesome they were in the fight, culminating in Peridot leaping in Bismuth's arms and yelling at her to throw her again for a demonstration.
  • A Freeze-Frame Bonus. When the Crystal Gems launch their first group attack on Blue Diamond, Lion uses his portals to jump on her head. Blue's reaction appears to be a less-than-dignified freak out like someone would have if a bug was in their hair.
  • When the house gets partially destroyed by the Diamonds' ships, we get this:
    Pearl: THE HOUSE!
    Bismuth: (happily) Don't worry, I can fix it!
    Steven: MY DAD!
    Bismuth: ...Uh oh...
    • Fortunately, Greg then stumbles out of the wrecked house with Cat Steven, stunned but largely unscathed.
  • Peridot tries telling off Yellow Diamond like she did before in “Message Received” and asks if she remembers her. Yellow nonchalantly replies “No” before poofing Peridot in one shot.
  • Garnet is barely surprised by Steven somehow contacting her telepathically.
  • While Steven is stuck as an Astral Projection in everyone's mind, he reassures everyone by passing through them. That's not the funny part. The funny part is how he literally jumps through Pearl to remind her to fight for herself too.
  • This gem from Yellow Diamond:
    Yellow Diamond: What are you jabbering about?
    Blue Diamond: [I sense] A presence! It feels like...
    Yellow Diamond: Please, Blue. You're being hysterical. More so than usual.

    "Legs From Here to Homeworld" 
  • Blue picking up Steven and hugging him to her face. Also note that "Reunited" ended at night, while this episode begins in the day - did Blue pick Steven up and just cuddle him until the sun came up?
  • Yellow tries to psychically raise her ship, only to make a fingertip fall off, to which she just gives an irritated sigh.
  • The fact that Blue Diamond's Tears of Joy have been making everyone cry so much it's become aggravating, as seen by the Crystal Gems' annoyed reactions. Even Yellow tells her off and wipes her tears away in annoyance, drenching all of the Crystal Gems.
    Yellow Diamond: And Blue can you please stop crying? I can't see.
    Blue Diamond: Sorry.
  • Yellow's entire demeanor regarding Steven being Pink Diamond. She sounds exactly like a concerned but also angry mom.
    Yellow: How could you do this to us, Pink!? Why did you let us think you were shattered!? Why the strange disguise!? Why are you doing a voice!? Why didn't you say something at the trial!?
  • This:
    Steven: My mom kept [her true identity] secret from everyone.
    Pearl: AHEM.
    Steven: Almost everyone.
  • There was an establishing shot of Yellow arriving at the drop ship site via the warp pad. The logistics there are unstated - did they use the pad in the Temple's entrance, inside the house, despite the Diamonds being considerably larger than that house? Or was there a whole trek to reach a warp pad in the open, the Diamonds walking very slowly while the Crystal Gems scuttled at their feet, Yellow complaining about the delay?
  • Centipeetle's reaction to seeing Blue and Yellow for the first time in millennia?
    • The sheer size of her jaw and the fact that she is a Corrupted Gem Monster that makes this reaction all the funnier.
    • Meanwhile, Yellow's reaction is "What am I looking at?", in the exact same tone as someone whose kid is excitedly showing them some gross thing he picked up off the ground.
    • When Yellow tries to fix her, she only succeeds in fixing the body. Cue Centipeetle wobbling with a humanoid body as if she were still a centipede-creature.
  • Yellow Diamond's Never My Fault attitude gives us this:
    Yellow Diamond: Ugh, Pink. How many perfectly adequate Gems did you have us ruin?
  • After Nephrite turns back into Centipeetle, Steven angrily chews Yellow and Blue out for causing her corruption. However, while he's doing this, Nephrite/Centipeetle herself just grabs Steven's bag of Chaaaaps and slips back into the ship.
  • Steven starts conducting a plan to look for Pink Diamond's ship... while blatantly standing right next to it. Even the Diamonds can't help but silently snark at Steven's obliviousness.
    Steven: (gestures towards the legs of the ship) It's just past these pink pyramids.
    Yellow and Blue Diamond: (glances at the ship, then glances at Steven)
    Steven: (walks toward one leg while rambling) We've got a lot of desert to cover... it may take a while, and it'll be really super hot. (nonchalantly places hand on leg) But if we don't give up, (leg activates and lights up, unbeknownst to Steven) I know we can find it.
    Bismuth: Uh, Steven?
  • Dr. Maheswaren is alarmed to find herself wanting Connie to have her sword. And then you remember that sword got destroyed in the last episode, which Connie hastily skips past.
    • During their goodbyes to Connie, the Maheswarens look at Pink Diamond's leg ship. The camera cuts to the butt portion of the ship, which sparkles.
  • Garnet asks if Greg wouldn't mind "watering" Cat Steven while she's away.
  • Steven's less-than-graceful take-off with the Legs ship. Apparently, Pink's was no more graceful.
    • While everyone else was looking at Pink Diamond's ship with awe, there's just something funny about seeing a pair of legs with an unusually shaped ass awkwardly wading into the ocean before taking off into space.
    • Everyone's faces while this is happening adds to the awkwardness, especially the looks on Bismuth, Pearl, Blue Diamond, and Yellow Diamond. Blue Diamond is actually smiling confidently and proudly, while Yellow looks like she's dying of embarrassment. And then there's Greg happily cheering Steven on.
    • It's just inherently funny to see the Diamonds of all beings sitting in their seats preparing for launch with the protagonists. Kind of like watching a family prepare for an awkward roadtrip.
  • There's something especially funny about White Pearl being passively savage towards Blue and Yellow Diamond. Yes, one of the lowest-ranking minions in Gem society overruling and telling the other overlords that "Only Pink Diamond's presence is necessary" when they try to get a move on to meet White.
  • To everyone who was expecting White Diamond to be a cold, emotionless overlord, her real personality is certainly this—her tone of voice sounds like a mix of a quirky grandma and a passive-aggressive soccer mom. She even has a cute Affectionate Nickname for Pink Diamond!
  • The especially abrupt cut to the credits, which are mid-song.
    (aggressive, borderline industrial sounds)
    I always thought, I might be bad...

    "Familiar" 
  • The Pebbles grabbing Steven's phone from his pocket and playing with it.
  • Pearl being the only one allowed to visit Steven in Pink's chamber, for obvious reasons.
    Pearl: (pulling out Steven's hotdog duffel bag from her gem) I'm only here because I'm bringing your things... and they consider me one of your things.
    Steven: (cringes awkwardly) Yeesh.
  • Steven tries to get Yellow Pearl to call him by his name instead of Pink Diamond. The first two efforts result in "Pink Steven" and "Just Steven". Noticing how Literal-Minded she is, he then jokingly asks her to call him "lasagna" (which prompts an annoyed scolding from Pearl, saying he'll break her if he messes with her like that). As he leaves to meet Yellow Diamond, Yellow Pearl bids him farewell with, "Have a nice extraction, Pink Lasagna".
  • When Yellow Diamond asks Steven how his conversation with White Diamond went.
    Steven: All I got to say was "Hi!" and "Um..." and "I".
    Yellow: Two and a half words, that's a record.
    Steven: (annoyed) Two and a half words isn't enough!
  • Yellow Diamond complaining about Steven getting to see White despite Pink's one and only colony has failed, while she is more successful in conquering.
    Steven: Maybe you should just... fail?
    Yellow: (gives Steven a Blank Stare and laughs as if he had just told her the funniest joke she's ever heard)
  • Steven getting stuck at the bottom of Blue Diamond's bathtub. He seems more concerned with the fact that he got water up his nose.
  • When Pearl says that Pink Diamond used to throw massive balls (which she meant parties), Steven says "She was a juggler?!", Pearl's response?
    Pearl: No- Well, yes.
    • There's also the fact that Pearl specifically says "massive balls".

    "Together Alone" 
  • In Steven's nightmare, there is this one moment where Yellow Diamond stretches her neck like a snake to check on Pink Diamond (as Steven), which basically makes the joke of Yellow Diamond's giraffe neck from her debut an Ascended Meme.
    • While Steven's nightmare is terrifying and sad, the first part has Steven hanging out with White Diamond's Pearl (who used to belong to Pink) like close friends. When Yellow checks in on them, Steven and WD!Pearl pretend to act like nothing's suspect, and laugh mischievously together when she leaves. It's rather endearing, since it evokes memories of a group of friends/ siblings going off to have fun behind their forbidding parents' backs.
    • During that part, Yellow Diamond's expressions could be best described as "goofy scowl" then, once she's satisfied, "goofy smile".
  • That Pebble who grabbed Steven's phone in the last episode is still playing with it.
  • Connie's in full Unfazed Everyman mode, acting like the current situation is nothing exceptional.
  • Apparently, Yellow Pearl has no concept of fun.
    Yellow Pearl: What is... "fu-un"?
  • When Amethyst complains about the Homeworld ball being "dry" (i.e. boring), Yellow Pearl informs her that liquids are not allowed in the ballroom.
  • Blue Diamond finds Sapphire and Ruby's fusion calling herself a Garnet laughable (possibly because there are already other non-fusion Garnets, such as Hessonite), much to the latter's dismay.
  • While it happens at a tense moment, the Crystal Gems fusing to protect Stevonnie is interrupted when a pair of Jades suddenly fuse to assist them:
    Blue Diamond: Unfuse or I'll MAKE you!
    Garnet: You'll have to go through me!
    Pearl: And me! (fuses with Amethyst)
    (A pair of Jades fuse)
    Jade Fusion: And me!
    (Beat, during which the Crystal Gems all look on in confusion and Garnet just shrugs as if to say "Sure, why not?")

    "Escapism" 
  • While Steven and Connie are locked up by the Diamonds:
    Steven: And what'll Dad say, when he finds out? His only son, in jail, at fourteen. What a disgrace.
  • Steven is understandably frustrated when he astral-projects all the way to Earth and wakes up... in the body of a Watermelon Steven.
  • Steven quickly getting frustrated further with being caught in the middle of an oddly-peaceful civil war between the Watermelon Stevens. His face isn't too expressive, but he still pretty loudly communicates You Have Got to Be Kidding Me!.
  • As Steven gathers materials for a raft, we see a watermelon parrot that tries (and fails) to fly, leaving a pile of watermelon bits on the forest floor.
  • When there's no more wind, Watermelon Steven tries to get the boat moving again by spitting seeds into the sail.
  • Steven pacifies a watermelon shark by giving it a smooch on the nose.
  • The way Steven's watermelon arm just pops off as he's swimming.
  • Bismuth's reaction to seeing Steven as a watermelon. You can tell that she didn't know he could do that.
  • When Watermelon Steven makes it to Beach City, he tries to communicate the situation to Greg and Bismuth, but they don't understand his watermelon vocalizations. Then he tries drawing an elaborate picture of the situation on Homeworld, which they also fail to understand. Then he gives up and simply writes the words "HELP! WE NEED BACKUP!"
  • The ending, in a meta sense—Steven wakes up after the above, sees that Connie fell asleep waiting for him and quips "Guess we'll see what happens"... right before the episode ends abruptly. You can practically hear the Crewniverse laughing at us.
    • Doubly so since this episode and the next one are two weeks apart, when the previous Diamond Days episodes were weekly.
  • There's something darkly amusing about the fact that after over a year of speculation about who would sing the song "Escapism"note , it turns out that... nobody sings it. It's just a background song playing over the ending scenes.

    "Change Your Mind" 
  • During Steven's flashback to one of Pink's interactions with Blue, Blue is yelling at Pink for releasing a bunch of organics at a ball, losing track of said organics when they escaped, and how the organics could now be anywhere on Homeworld. Cue one of the organics, a rainbow centipede-like creature, popping from behind Blue's hair loops. Blue lets out a girlish shriek, freaks out, and slaps the creature away like someone who found a bug in her dress would. Her facial reactions as she regains her composure betray the serious conversations she's attempting to have with Pink.
    • Pink then catches the creature, which smiles brightly, gibbers unintelligibly, then gives her a hug.
  • Blue implies that Pink had a habit of making up fake problems to convince her to let her out of the punishment tower.
    • Of course, this quickly becomes Tear Jerker when you consider just why she would do that...
  • Blue Diamond's slightly grossed-out expression in response to Steven and Connie eating.
  • Yellow Diamond's reaction when Steven's shield hits her and nullifies her lightning.
  • When Steven first tells Yellow Diamond the saying "if every porkchop were perfect, we wouldn't have hotdogs," all Yellow says in response is a confused "And that means?"
  • While it's a serious moment, after getting her Heel Realization, a tearful Yellow Diamond demands that Blue stop using her powers on her, only to learn Blue isn't using her powers.
  • When Yellow and Blue finally decide to rebel against White Diamond, White attaches her palace to Pink's legs and ship with the command for the other Diamonds to... go to their room like an angry parent who has had it with their unruly children. Considering the fact that Blue and Yellow's ships were destroyed on Earth with Pink's ship being attached to White's torso, there's really no room for the other Diamonds to go to. Blue asks in a confused tone which rooms should they all go to, only to get chided by Yellow not to make her angrier like a kid trying to avoid a harsher punishment.
    Blue Diamond: Uh... Which rooms should we go to?
    Yellow Diamond: Blue, don't make her any angrier than she already is!
  • When White's palace shows up to attach to Pink's ship, Steven and Connie have only this to say:
    Steven: We're busted.
    Connie: Looks like this just turned into a face-off.
  • Blue and Yellow's ships return, with Blue's ship repeatedly slapping White's across the face. Their reactions make it even more hilarious:
    Steven: Yellow, Blue, did you have a hand in this?
    Blue Diamond: (crosses arms before chest) No way!
    Yellow Diamond: White! That wasn't us!
    Blue Diamond: We swear!
  • After Blue and Yellow's ships knock the White and Pink ships on their back, when it cuts back to Blue and Yellow you can see Blue is smiling but in a way that makes it clear she's both enjoying this and scared shitless, while all Yellow can muster is wondering who did this.
  • Peridot and Lapis have reformed, with their new outfits to indicate that they are officially Crystal Gems, leading to a three-season-long Brick Joke. In the Season 2 finale, the newly-joined Peridot wondered anxiously about whether she'd have to wear a star on her outfit, and where she was going to put said star. It appears she never quite made up her mind, because her new outfit has several stars all over her body!
  • Peridot brags about how well they rebuilt Blue and Yellow's ships, only for the thumb on Yellow's to fall off.
    Peridot: Who needs thumbs?
  • When Sunstone stops the Diamond-ship mech from stomping the Crystal Gems flat, Pearl is lying on her back, ramrod straight, with her fists clenched.
    • Peridot is crouched under her trash can lid.
  • Much like Sardonyx, Sunstone loves to show off and make Aside Comments. They're like a mascot out of a PSA or a character from an After School Special from The '80s or The '90s.
  • Peridot's reaction to Sunstone's strength?
    Peridot: Unbelievable!
    Sunstone: Oh, you better believe it!
    Peridot: Okay!
  • Peridot's showboating as the self-proclaimed "savior of Homeworld".
    Peridot: Try and catch me, you enlarged, bipedal housing unit!
    • Note that she's saying this while flying around on a trash can lid she brought with her from Earth.
  • When White's Mecha knocks Lapis and Bismuth out of the sky, the latter plummets down into the abyss. Peridot tries to catch her with her metal powers, with results in Bismuth abruptly halting her fall just inches from the ground, then falling flat on her face when Peridot lets go.
  • The fact that Peridot's shades look like Kamina's.
  • When Smoky Quartz forms, it takes them a moment to realize it.
    Smoky Quartz: Holy smokes! I'm Smoky!
    • To punctuate this, there's even a sudden pause in their theme playing when they stop to ponder what just happened.
  • Rainbow Quartz 2.0 makes their debut, and their Large Ham personality, complete with British accent and parasol, is a sight to behold.
    • When Smoky unfused, Amethyst shapeshifted into an owl to avoid falling to her death. After catching Ruby and Sapphire, Rainbow jokes about this.
      Rainbow Quartz: Now that's catching two stones... with one bird!
  • After Pearl and Steven unfuse, Amethyst compliments Pearl's new look, with Pearl being briefly distracted from the fact that she and Steven fused when she notes that she's particularly fond of the jacket.
  • When Steven, Amethyst, Garnet, and Pearl fuse into Obsidian, we're treated to a low-angle shot and Peridot's excited exclamation of "They're huge!"... immediately followed by a shot showing how insignificantly tiny they still are compared to White Diamond's ship.
  • A hilarious minor detail: When Obsidian jumps up onto White Diamond's mecha, the shot shows the other Crystal Gems, completely dwarfed beneath her. The ensuing blast of air from the jump has Lapis and Bismuth bracing themselves. However, you can just barely make out that Connie gets knocked over completely.
  • Connie having been caught by Obsidian after Lapis, Bismuth, and Peridot were knocked away, leaving her and Obsidian completely exposed to an attack by White Diamond.
  • Though this is admittedly a creepy moment, White Diamond making the controlled Crystal Gems say "Why thank you White Diamond, I feel so much better White Diamond, ect." sounds somewhat funny if one imagines she did what she perceived to be a thankless job, and she's mouthing the thank yous she thinks Steven should be saying.
  • While it happens at an intense moment, White's Beam-O-War with Pink Steven features her shouting "Don't you raise your shield at me!" in exactly the tone you'd expect a frustrated mom to use.
  • Another likely unintentional example involving White and Pink Steven...
    White Diamond: Don't you dare take one more step!
    Pink Steven: (wordlessly takes three)
  • Pink Steven and Steven fusing back together has them giggling and laughing the entire time, while White leans over, looking at them in confusion.
  • Garnet's face the entire time she's under White Diamond's control. There's just something about the three eyes that's humorous rather than creepy, like the others.
  • White Diamond caps off her Villainous Breakdown by throwing a tantrum and demanding to know why "Pink" is acting like a child and refusing to listen to her. Steven's response?
    Steven: (playfully) I am a child. What's your excuse?
    • Also, when she is pounding at the ground, it shakes... Much to the enjoyment of Steven and Connie. The two children start laughing while they are jumping with the ground. It's like they're two kids on a carnival ride.
    • Her response isn't throwing more of a fit, either - it's a Luminescent Blush, presumably due to Steven's influence on her emotions. She's so embarrassed and simultaneously mortified that her powers fail her and all the Gems return to normal. Steven beat White Diamond by making her feel like a dork.
  • The Auxiliary gems appear to kick ass... just to find the Crystal Gems laughing.
    • Lapis has two sets of dukes up, the other one being formed from her wings.
  • Rhodonite being Instantly Proven Wrong when they think that they've gotten away from the Diamonds on Earth.
    Rhodonite: No more Diamond Authority! (sees Yellow, White, and Blue Diamond standing across the beach from them) Welp, we're cracked.
    • Two things make this line so funny. First of all, Rhodonite's basically been the Nervous Wreck of the team. When she sees the very things they've been fleeing from all this time, she sounds so casual it's like she hit the maximum level of terrified and looped around to not giving a crap. Secondly, the way she says "We're cracked" sounds like it's the Gem equivalent of "We're fucked".
    • And after Steven introduces the Off-Colors to the Diamonds, Padparadscha's reaction:
      Padparadscha: AHHH! It's the Diamonds!
    • The Diamonds' expressions. Blue is just kinda confused while White is, quite understandably, looking like this is literally the most awkward moment of her very, very long life. Yellow's expression is a bit odd however in how unsurprised she looks upon learning who they are, perhaps even a little amused. Then one remembers Emerald is part of her court and she's the only Diamond who probably knows exactly who they are.
      • And furthermore, there's the Diamonds' reactions to Padparadscha's outburst; Blue Diamond flinches, with a very startled expression, whereas White Diamond had an even worse jump scare, complete with hands up to protect herself. Yellow Diamond, on the other hand? Throws up her fists, all ready to fight... with a tiny little Padparadscha.
  • Lars and Sadie have an incredibly awkward reunion. It's made more awkward when Padparadscha blurts out that Lars doesn't know what to say.
  • A Freeze-Frame Bonus. During the concert Lars is shown talking to Ronaldo. Ronaldo, who is a bit of an otaku, is nitpicking the errors in Lars' Captain Harlock like space pirate cape.
  • Peridot balancing a bubbled Gem on top of her hair while holding two others in her hands.
  • When the Diamonds start the cleansing bath Steven swims over to greet them. Thanks to his grin, the Blush Stickers and the well-timed sound of a bubble popping it's almost like he farted in the bathtub. In front of his quasi-aunts and grandmother no less.
  • Amethyst getting Centipeetle to jump into Rose's pool to be cured by tossing a bag of Chaaaps in. When she pops up, she still has it in her mouth. Her reunion with Steven is also cut short by Watermelon Tourmaline popping out of the water with a very confused look on her face.
    • When Jasper is revived, she immediately goes after Steven. Amethyst has to explain what's going on, all the while Jasper sinks into the water in embarrassment.
    • Also in that same scene, Jasper turning to see Yellow Diamond glaring at her while Blue and White are conversing, almost like a parent telling her unruly child to behave herself or else.
  • White Diamond's face when she crouches down in Rose/Pink's fountain to help heal the corrupted Gems.
    • Really, White Diamond's faces throughout the entire ending sequence. You can tell she's not 100% on board with everything yet and just seems to be humoring someone that just force-fed her Humble Pie.
  • The fact that Yellow Diamond's arm is the one to throw a peace sign as the Diamonds leave the earth. You know the same shrewd businesswoman and militaristic like Yellow just sitting in her ship happily making an informal hand sign to tell her nephew goodbye showing she's Not So Above It All. Also counts as Heartwarming.
    • Even funnier is the fact that Yellow's arm is still missing the thumb. They repaired both ships like new, but either couldn't or chose not to give it a thumb.
  • As a last-second chuckle, we see the Pink Legship sitting cross-legged on the hill behind the temple.

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