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Funny / Steven Universe

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"We Are The Crystal Gems (Extended Intro)"
  • Greg hands Pearl a bottle of water. Pearl, puzzled, hands it off to Amethyst, who exclaims "Aw yes!", splashes the water in her face, and then eats the bottle.
  • Steven hands Amethyst a plate full of food. Amethyst puts the entire thing (plate included) in her mouth, then spits the plate back out... with a chunk bitten out of it.

"The Classroom Gems: What Are Gems?"

  • "Nice mass."
  • Garnet smacking Amethyst over the head to demonstrate how Gems get "poofed".

"The Classroom Gems: How Are Gems Made?"

  • Amethyst faking out the audience by acting like she's about to give them The Talk: "When a mommy Gem and a daddy Gem love each other very much... PSYCH!"
  • Pearl getting so wrapped up in apologizing for any damage the injectors at the Kindergarten did to Earth that Garnet just picks her up and walks away.
  • Steven getting distracted by imagining what the Gems would look like as babies.

"The Classroom Gems: Fusion"

  • Garnet introducing the short by punching through the title card.
  • Pearl and Amethyst childishly squabbling after they de-fuse.

"Novelty Backpack"

  • Jamie the mailman hamming it up when he delivers Steven's package. Then asking if he can have a copy of the video for his "reel".
  • Steven describes his new bag as "six-and-a-half hot dogs long. For all you international viewers, that's about seven metric bratwursts."
  • Steven trying to continue his video while the Gems are fighting the Slinker from "Reformed" just off-screen.
  • Amethyst being thrown across the room in the background while Steven is recording.

"Just Lion Things"

  • Lion tries (and fails) to fit into various cardboard boxes like a common housecat.
  • Steven ends up helping Lion climb into the dumpster behind the Big Donut, much to Lars' shock: "Ahh! Again!?"

"Cooking with Lion"

  • The whole thing shown as an in-universe YouTube video.
  • Steven has to improvise with his sushi roll because Lion ate all the tuna and then threw it up into his shoes.
  • The cuts to Lion with Steven pretending to speak as him.
  • When Steven finishes making his Snack Sushi, Lion knocks him aside and eats all of it with Steven crying out that Lion needs to savor the flavors.
  • In the next video, Steven will show the viewer how to make Cookie Cats.

"Steven Reacts"

  • Steven reacts to a new episode of Crying Breakfast Friends. The set-up is exactly like a "react" recap from YouTube. There are plenty of loving digs at the fandom.
    "I can't wait until the next episode, whenever that is, am I right?"
  • The head writer for CBF is "Samantha Pepper".
  • And then, inevitably, we got react videos to Steven's react video.
    • Then we got Steven reacting to other internet videos (one such example being this).
  • Meta: the fact that the video got removed... by a copyright strike from CN!

"Gem Karaoke"

  • The dueling sassy stances between the Gems, particularly Steven's and Pearl's.
  • Connie going full large ham when she finally works up the courage to sing.
  • The callback of them singing the song from "Sadie's Song."
  • At the beginning of the short, Pearl's having trouble entering the song on the karaoke machine (she didn't press "start"). At the end, she discovers she entered the same song 15 times.
    Connie: ENCORE!

"Video Chat"

  • In the second issue of the comic's first run, Steven tries to train Lion to win a pet competition. Lion, being Lion, doesn't listen and Steven gets some comfort from Pearl. Then Amethyst butts in when Steven mentions a trophy. Cue Steven winning with Cat-Amethyst while Pearl and Onion (who entered with a crocodile) share looks of annoyance.

Steven and the Crystal Gems

  • Steven tells a scary story about a babysitter checking in on some kids. Steven says she finds the kids "fast asleep", except one of the kids is "played" by Onion, who's laying down with his eyes wide open.


  • Peridot attempts to fill Steven's place in Sadie and the Cool Kids' band.
    Peridot: I did some preliminary research, and I believe I can perform the function of the Steven of this band.
    Jenny: Is 'The Steven' his new stage name? Are we doing stage names now?

    Video Games 
Attack the Light
  • You find the first human skeleton lying around and search it. What does Steven find? Ice cream!
    • "I'm sorry, Mr. Skeleton!"
  • When Steven finds the Moon Goddess badge, he says, "Cool! I found a...thingy!"

Unleash the Light

  • In the 1.1.0 update, a sidequest is added for Demantoid's World where a Bismuth gives you a schematic she can't make any sense of. When you give it to George to craft it, he ends up making a simple light wrench, completing the sidequest. When you bring it to the Bismuth who gave you the schematic, she tells you it's useless but then rewards you anyway. With a badge that makes the wearer "sparkly for some reason. Really, that's all it does."

    Peridot's Twitter 

    Other Side/Promotional Materials 
  • Mr. Gusite was created by Ian Jones-Quartey for the Uncle Grandpa crossover. About a month earlier, Mr. Gus submitted his work-in-progress for the "Gemsona Week" event on Tumblr. And got rejected.
  • In the Newsarama Interview, Steven talks about what comics he likes, and mentions that he likes Sailor Moon because "it's really down to earth."
  • Garnet's description of Alexandrite in Guide to the Crystal Gems:
    Garnet: When Pearl, Amethyst, and I fuse together with a singular goal, we are unstoppable. But when the singular goal is a dinner party with a human family, we are very confused, and we are very confusing, and we are very sorry.
  • The Gem life chose him. The best part is that this is from Cartoon Network!
  • Another one from Cartoon Network: a GIF of Jasper from "Super Watermelon Island", showing her falling into a hole captioned "Monday Feels" and "We feel you, Jasper".
  • Peridot's tripping beat.
  • Peridot briefly took over the CN Twitter. Just look.
  • Near the end of the hiatus between "Lars' Head" and "Dewey Wins", Peridot took over Cartoon Network's Twitter account again. Highlights include:
    • Peridot awarding herself the honor of "Best Character Ever in Every Cartoon Ever." The tweet also includes a picture of her from the show with a trophy sticker edited in.
      • Shelby Rabara (Peridot's VA) replied to the tweet and congratulated her for the award. Peridot's response was "WOW THANKS!!!!!11!".
    • Peridot posts a picture of her latest Meep Morp. It's literally just Steven's toilet with her name on the bowl.
    • "I have discovered that rumors of a CPH reunion are false. Steven calls it bait clicks but I call it a LIE. DO NOT DO THAT AGAIN, INTERNET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
    • Peridot notices how many people want new Steven Universe and decides to give a detailed summary of everything that happens in the next twenty episodes. The tweet is marked as the first of 2300. It's at this point that Cartoon Network (via their PR account) steps in and asks for their main account back. There's also this fan's response after CN asks for their account back:
      Kian: no shut up this is important
  • Hours from the season five finale, Cartoon Network posted a Bingo card of speculation about what would happen in the episode. With only hours to go, the fandom immediately pounced on the Bingo card, trying to figure out which of the events were real and which were Red Herrings. It turns out that all of them were real! Special credit goes to "Steven takes a bubble bath." for some amazing use of Exact Words.
  • On the podcast, Deedee Magno-Hall (Pearl), Michaela Dietz (Amethyst), and Zach Callison (Steven) were asked for something their character would never say. The respective answers are Pearl ordering a cheeseburger, Amethyst verbally saying "I love you", and Steven saying he loves his mom.

    Steven Universe Zines 
The Steven Universe Zines exclusive to the 2016 San Diego Comic Con.
  • SU Eatin' Zine by Danny Cragg features the main characters eating food. Greg is eating a hot dog, Steven is eating a doughnut, Garnet is eating popcorn, Amethyst is drinking tea while eating the teabag and the mug, Pearl is eating a slice of pie, Peridot is eating a cake while biting onto the fork, Jasper is eating a T-bone steak with her hands, and Lapis is eating ice cream with her hands.
  • Initial SU [a parody you didn't know that you didn't want] by Hilary Florido that features the Gems acting like teenagers and Steven acting like an adult who sells tofu and his child is Stevonnie.
    • When Pearl needs Steven to race against Kevin, he instead sends Stevonnie to take his place instead, much to the disappointment of the Gems.
    Stevonnie: My dad said if I race and win, he'll give me a full tank of gas. Gas is pricey and I can't keep a job 'cause I don't wear shoes. This is a big deal for me!
    Pearl: But... but...
    Peridot: Our honor!
    • While racing, Stevonnie thinks to themself why don't they buy shoes and why their family sells tofu when their father loves pizza.
    • In the end, it was Garnet who won the race, on a pair of rollerblades.
    Garnet: It was me doing a sick grind on the guard rail!
    Stevonnie: My free tank of gas!
    Kevin: It's night and she's wearing sunglasses! It's too cool!
    • Garnet revealing she was actually chasing down Stevonnie so she can buy all the tofu they have. The zine ends saying "And everyone lived happily ever after!", while Kevin is still crying that he lost.
  • San Diego Comic-Con Exclusive 2016 Zine, by Mira W. and Jesse Zuke:
    • Step by Step Guide to Propagation: Steven teaches the reader how to grow new succulents. His last step is spitting on the leaves.
    • Selfie!: The Crystal Gems incorrectly taking a selfie by having the camera facing the other way. Not only that, Garnet's finger was on the camera lens.
    • So Spoiled!: When Garnet kisses Steven on his forehead, she accidentally gave him her Future Vision, leading to him envisioning the Crying Breakfast Friends' season finale.
    • Responsible Earth Citizens: Features Peridot and Lapis where Peridot is the breadwinner and Lapis is the homemaker.
    Peridot: Lazuli! I'm home from "job".
    Lapis: (holding a baking dish) Oh! How was it?
    Peridot: I got "fired".
    Lapis: Fired?! How will we pay our "bill(s)"!?
    (Beat, Peridot and Lapis burst out laughing)
    Peridot: So! Whatcha make for dinner?
    Lapis: (presenting the baking dish) Nothing!!!!
    (Peridot and Lapis burst out laughing again and fall to the ground)
    • ...A Fast Food AU: The Gems are working as fast food workers with Lapis as an apathetic cashier, Amethyst eating the food that she's suppose to bring to the customers, and Peridot being the "best" assistant manager ever. Out of all of these three, Lapis is the one that gets fired. Also, Garnet's hair is on fire... for some reason.
    • Bowled Over: Peridot suggesting to Amethyst and Lapis they go to the bowling alley, despite Lapis' protest. At the bowling alley, Amethyst is eating the bowling ball, Peridot is bowling with a two pounds bowling ball, and Lapis getting annoyed by the bowling noises.
    • Peridot's Guide to C.P.H.: Peridot explains how she feels about "Camp Pining Hearts" and why Season Five was considered the worst.
      Season One: "A rocky start, but to it's credit, everyone was still figuring out what they were doing. Especially Paulette. But I don't like her so I don't forgive her."
      Season Two: "Wow!! The golden years! This is where Percy comes along. Percy introduced a whole new dynamic to the camp hierarchy. I can't believe he was secretly wearing shorts the *whole time!*"
      Season Three: "Pierre is a werewolf. Note to self: Cool."
      Season Five: "Oh my solar system. Oh my Jupiter on the wrong axis. Really?? Really! 12 episodes at a beach!? What is this? Beach Pining Hearts? Hahahaaha. I'm typing laughter as I actually laugh."
      "Wait, where's Season Four? Oh yeah I forgot about it because Five was so bad."
    • Actual Fusion Cuisine: Steven is eating spaghetti. He loves it so much that he starts dancing with it and accidentally Fuses with it to become a spaghetti monster. But it was All Just a Dream.
    • Fusion Poutine: Peridot is a camper at Camp Pining Hearts for the Yellow cabin and in order for her cabin to win the annual sac race, Peridot asks Percy to Fuse with her. They Fuse and they become a spaghetti monster. But it was All Just a Dream. Again.

    Cast & Crew 
  • The wrestler names the Crewniverse came up with for Tiger Millionaire is not only punnerific, it's doubly hilarious if you are a wrestling fan. Standout names include:
    AD/BC (A Futureman/Caveman duo)
    The Four Eyed Foreman and Brian Brickman
    Diggery Stu and Crocodile Bumblee
    Manga Mike and Ani-Moo
    Toolshed (triply hilarious because this is actually Stan Marsh's superhero name, while his wrestler moniker is Stan the Man)
    CM Ska
  • At Magfest, Quartey being discrete about spoilers when answering questions. At the first question, he reaches for his Magfest guidelines and simply states that "Steven Universe airs on Thursdays at 6:30." At the second question, he does the same thing. At the third, he pauses to sarcastically tap his papers on the tabletop before doing the same thing again.
  • When clips containing very huge spoilers from "Super Watermelon Island" and "Barn Mates" were posted on the Cartoon Network UK site, some of the staff reactions were quite funny.
    Matt Burnett: Break the internet.
    Ian Jones-Quartey: lmao. Whyyyy
    Jesse Zuke:note  what the fuck
    Joe Johnston: >_____<
    Matt Burnett (3 hours later): Anyone still interested in letting me know - I know now, thanks!
    • Also, Michaela Dietz (Amethyst's voice actress) reacts to StevenBomb 5 being leaked on CN's website weeks in advance.
      Michaela: too many leaks NEED MORE DUCT TAPE
  • This "Storyboard" for "Serious Steven", featuring Clarence instead of Steven, Uncle Grandpa instead of Garnet, Eddy instead of Amethyst, and Pearl just growing increasingly more annoyed with the entire situation.
  • Lamar Abrams joking about how enormous he drew Peridot's hair in "Same Old World".
  • Jesse Zuke drew what Peridot's Baseball outfit would've looked like had she participated. The funny part? Her hat is just hanging on the top of her hair.
  • There's a lot of speculation on how Stevonnie is able to drive like a professional on first try, from Steven and Connie being super intelligent to them learning by watching. Joe Johnston's explanation?
  • After Jesse said that they considered Peridot a Capricorn, Danny drew this in response.
    Jesse: the friendship was nice while it lasted
  • After "Last One Out of Beach City" aired, Rebecca Sugar posted a brief anecdote about directing Pearl's voice actor for that episode.
    Rebecca Sugar: And then Pearl guns it through the red light.
    Deedee Magno-Hall: Oh no! My kids are going to see this!
  • Deedee Magno-Hall and Michaela Dietz walk into a candy store. Dorkiness Ensues.
  • This vine with Thomas Sanders.
  • On her instagram, Rebecca Sugar posted the sketch to an image that ended up in the art book, of Rose Quartz, Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst all crowded in a convertible together with Rose throwing a peace sign to the viewer. Except that in the sketch, the peace sign is notably scribblier and in a different pen than the rest of the drawing, and Sugar notes she had to change it from the original gesture....
  • Joe Johnston points out how the ending of "A Single Pale Rose" was indicated years early by a T-shirt some of the crew had worn publically.
  • According to Joe, he found out Rose was Pink Diamond his first day on the job, and his reaction was “I want to draw and work on this show until my hands fall off.”.
  • When discussing early designs for the Diamonds, Joe Johnston accidentally called Yellow Diamond's hair a helmet (a misconception the crew specifically clarified when Yellow Diamond first appeared over two years earlier). Though he quickly corrected his original post, a fan asked whether or not her hair actually is a helmet. His response is... a bit much, to say the least.
    sorry for the mix up
  • Joe (again) posted a promo for "Escapism" that was an homage to mobile game Monument Valley. After the episode came out, he posted an updated version which revealed it as the game Connie was playing while Steven was gallivanting through the mindscape.
  • When the poster for Steven Universe: The Movie was released, multiple staff members came out within hours to celebrate Steven finally having a neck.
    Rebecca Sugar: When I turned 30, I was gearing up to write this musical. Today I turn 32... this is the best birthday gift... I can finally draw Steven’s neck in public.
  • Sarah Stiles live performance of Other Friends at New York Comic Con begins with this little gem.
    Sarah Stiles:Oh my goodness, look at that crowd! And you're all here for ME!
    Deedee Magno-Hall: Now, now, I think they're here to see us too-
    Sarah Stiles: JUST ME!!!
  • After Estelle says to let Sarah have the moment, not only does Sarah say she's 'gonna take it', but Deedee bows to Sarah as she walks to her seat.
  • In a CBR interview, Rebecca Sugar was asked for something she hasn't told anyone before about any of the Gems.
    Rebecca Sugar: Wow, that’s a bold request! Have you noticed that they’re all solar-powered robots?

Alternative Title(s): Attack The Light