(Our hearts are not of leather):
Let us shut our eyes,
And talk about the weather."
The ultimate in inconsequential, neutral talk: the subject matter is the weather. Usually fictionally to evade a more serious topic – out of dislike for it, especially the Elephant in the Living Room, or because they might be overheard – or to depict characters as not knowing each other, or having nothing to say. May indicate a Ban on Politics. Those who Cannot Spit It Out often talk about the weather instead. It can also be the set-up for Dispense with the Pleasantries.
The character who Hates Small Talk will react vehemently.
Its Truth in Television nature keeps it alive. Characters can easily refer to the trope without breaking the fourth wall.
This trope may provoke serious talk about the weather, which is invariably treated as a faux pas, even if provoked. (When the characters actually need to talk about important wather conditions, it falls outside this trope.)
See also Seinfeldian Conversation.
- Cinderella Man
Jim Braddock: Joe, did you come all this way just to talk about the weather?
- Trail of Kit Carson
Bill Harmon: Take your time, Mr. Benton. There's been a lot of weather for your daughter and me to talk about.
- Groundhog Day: Mrs. Lancaster tries to make small talk with Phil by talking about the weather — unfortunately, he's pissed off and he's a weatherman.
Mrs. Lancaster: There's talk of a blizzard.
Phil Connors: We may catch a break and that blizzard's gonna blow right by us. All of this moisture coming up out of the south by midday is probably gonna push on to the east of us, and at high altitudes, it's gonna crystallize and probably give us what we call snow. Probably will be some accumulation but here in Punxsutawney our high is gonna get up to about 30 today, teens tonight. Chance of precipitation about 20% today, 20% tomorrow. Did you want to talk about the weather or were you just making chitchat?
- Used in The Naked Jungle. After several minutes of very awkward, one-sided conversation, there is a prolonged silence and then:
Joanna: "Everything I say seems to make things worse. I'm trying not to irritate you."Leiningen: "I noticed that. I find it irritating."
- Used in Sense and Sensibility, when Mrs Dashwood brusquely orders Margaret to "restrict her remarks to the weather".
- In Paddington, Aunt Lucy and Uncle Pastuzo listen to an instructional record in preparation for their trip to London. The narrator suggests talking about the weather when meeting strangers in the street.
- In Twillight Sparkle's awesome adventure, at one point Admiral Awesome finds the President of Amarican in his tent. His opening line: “Hello Mr. President. Beautiful weather isn’t it?”
- In Diana Wynne Jones's Castle in the Air, one princess complains that a disadvantage of the castle is you can't talk about the weather.
- In The Mouse That Roared, the Grand Duchess discovers she can't even talk about the weather, since different parts of the duchy want different weather.
- Harry Potter
- In Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, whenever Quirell is questioned on the subject of his turban, he goes pink and starts talking about the weather. Hagrid also does this whenever touchy subjects are evoked, when he doesn't go mysteriously deaf.
- In Order of the Phoenix, Harry is dismayed to find himself talking about the weather while trying to flirt with Cho.
- In The Last Knight, Fisk comments that different classes of people have different kinds of small talk—nobles talk about horses, townsfolk talk about taxes, and farmers talk about the weather.
- In Spider Robinson's Stardance, when Charlie Armstead asked how Raoul Brindle had managed to see the previously unreleased videos of the Stardance, rather than tell the truth or flat-out lie, Raoul answered, "Large weather we're having."
- Dave Barry likes to use "We had some rain today, but it turned to sleet" as an unfunny line which gets inexplicable laughs.
- In Maskerade at a dinner at the Opera House the diners talk about the cold weather to try and counteract the effects of Nanny Ogg's aphrodisiac chocolate pudding.
Mr Salzella: Wind, glaciers, icicles -Mr Bucket: Not icicles!
- In The Last Continent, Rincewind's default topic when talking to natives of Fourecks is to ask about the weather. What our favorite Inept Mage hadn't quite figured out was that the "Terra Incognita" is locked in a pepetual drought, so innocent inquiries on when the last time it rained get him chased by angry mobs.
- Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility: Marianne complains about being expected to make small talk.
I have erred against every common-place notion of decorum; I have been open and sincere where I ought to have been reserved, spiritless, dull, and deceitful — had I talked only of the weather and the roads, and had I spoken only once in ten minutes, this reproach would have been spared.
- Jasper Fforde:
- In Moose County in Lilian Jackson Braun's The Cat Who... Series, it is generally customary to spend a minute or two talking about the weather before moving on to more serious subjects. This is just considered simple politeness, even with two people who know each other quite well.
- In Rick Riordan's The Throne of Fire, with Sadie and Walt in the desert, she starts the conversation with "Lovely weather."
- In P. G. Wodehouse's Hot Water Blair Eggleston's timidity with women is such that face with an incense-filled studio holding a scantily clad princess lolling on a tiger skin, he would take the seat nearest the door and talk about the weather.
- In Poul Anderson's "Time Patrol", Manse observes that talking about crops and weather in Dark Ages England is much like twentieth century Middle Western America.
- In Wen Spencer's Tinker, Nathan says that a first date, if not spent learning about each other, has small talk. Tinker mentions the heat.
- In an editorial for the Hartford Courant, Mark Twain wrote, "Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it."
- In the Sherlock Holmes story "The Adventure of the Six Napoleons", Lestrade is at first reluctant to tell what's really on his mind, so he resorts to this.
On this particular evening Lestrade had spoken of the weather and the newspapers. Then he had fallen silent, puffing thoughtfully at his cigar
- In Robin McKinley's Sunshine, the person Sunshine comes the nearest to confiding the truth in is Yolanda, because when she talks about the weather or other chitchat, she not only doesn't ask what happened to her, but doesn't even seem to be suppressing the desire to.
- In Hilari Bell's Knight and Rogue Series novel The Last Knight, Sir Michael and the lady talk about horses — which, the narrator notes, is what nobles do when farmers would talk about the weather, and townsmen taxes.
- In Seanan McGuire's October Daye novel Ashes of Honor, when Tybalt insists on speaking with Toby alone, she starts with "Nice weather we've been having lately.''
- In Dorothy Gilman's The Clairvoyant Countess, Mr. Faber-Jones learns his doctor has a heroic past and is struck by how, at his exam, the doctor will talk about the weather and gallbladders.
- In Stephanie Burgis's A Most Improper Magick, Angeline complains that she can not understand Sir Neville and Mr. Gregson's talk. Must she and her sisters talk about the weather?
- In Michael Flynn's The January Dancer, the Fudir calls Hugh his ticket out of there with as much emotion as if he were talking of the weather.
- The first essay in David Foster Wallace's A Supposedly Fun Thing Ill Never Do Again tells much of the man's life story by relating it back to the horrible wind where he grew up. It's often a circuitous sort of connection, but he manages somehow.
- Discussed in the Star Trek Expanded Universe novel Imzadi when Guinan mentions to Riker how the weather is a typical conversation starter—albeit far less useful in the vacuum of space.
"But look at that. Not much to say, is there? 'Hmm...looks like a vacuum today. And they predict more of the same for tomorrow.' You see the difficulty."
- In Star Wars: Servants of the Empire: The Secret Academy, Zare tries to have a secretive comm discussion with his mother, Tepha, but as soon as his father Leo shows up, they switch to talking about the weather on Arkanis because Leo is still a fully loyal Imperial and doesn't know about his son's activities.
- In Frasier episode "Boo!", Martin has had a heart attack and doesn't want Ronee to know. Ronee lampshades that she Hates Small Talk with her elderly mother - which prompts Martin to engage in it himself, trying to avoid the subject of his "cardiac event".
Martin: No. So, uh, good weather over there in Spokane?Ronee: God, no. It rained the entire time. I basically just sat there and made boring small talk with my mother. God, I hate small talk.(awkward pause)Martin: Oh, tell me. Rained here some, too.This continues for some time til Ronee figures out something's wrong.
- Lampshaded on Gilmore Girls after an awkward post-breakup conversation:
Lorelai: Yeah, it was just awkward, and neither of us knew how to act.Sookie: I'm sure it seemed worse than it really was.Lorelai: Uh, no. We hit the weather in the first minute.Sookie: Well, it has been unseasonably warm...
- Babylon 5: Used as a code for a much more serious matter in "Z'ha'dum":
Sheridan: Good. And when I see you next, if everything is set ... we'll talk about the weather.
- In The Young Ones, Vyvyan resorts to this trope when he borrows yet another cup of sugar from the same neighbor he's been borrowing them from all morning.
Vyvyan: Well, if you like snow and being really cold, it's a nice day.
- In Monty Python's Flying Circus, Terry Jones' housewife is trying to keep Michael Palin's 'Poet Inspector' from leaving the house and makes a comment about it being a nice day. Palin replies with a detailed weather forecast, even flipping down a weather chart from the wall.
- In The Big Bang Theory Sheldon has a list of safe topics he and Amy can talk about when they're driving to the aquarium, and this is one of them. She convinces him to disregard the list and just say what's on his mind, but regrets it when he asks if she's had "coitus" with any of the men she's dated since they broke up.
- Great Big Sea's "How Did We Get From Saying I Love You" is about two people whose relationship has devolved into awkward pauses and discussions about the weather.
- R.E.M.'s "Pop Song 89", a song mocking pop music's banality, has the following chorus: Should we talk about the weather?/Should we talk about the government?
- Randy Travis' "Forever and Ever Amen" has as part of the chorus: "As long as old men sit and talk about the weather/As long as old women sit and talk about old men."
- Erasure's "Chains Of Love" bemoans the loss of this as people became more impersonal in general:
Do you remember? There was a time
When people on the street were walking hand in hand in hand
We used to talk about the weather, making plans together, days would last forever
- Tears for Fears's "Head Over Heels".
I wanted to be with you alone
And talk about the weather
- In a Casting Crowns song, the singer speaks of "talkin' bout the rain" instead of witnessing to his friend, which he knows he should be doing.
- "So Much to Say" by Dave Matthews Band, describing suppressing emotional depth under meaningless smalltalk.
Keep it locked up inside, don't talk about it
Talk about the weathe-e-e-e-errrrr.
- Built To Spill's "The Weather" has a more romantic take on the idea.
And the wind and snow and the rain that blows
None of those would matter much without you...
And as long as I'm talking with you
Talk of the weather will do.
- Jewel's "Foolish Games":
You stood in my doorway, with nothing to say
Besides some comment on the weather.
- Dilbert: Dogbert teaching social skills to engineers. After going over the rules ("Loud, Simple, Smiley"):
Wally: HEY, HOW ABOUT THAT LOW-PRESSURE SYSTEM, HUH?
Dogbert: Good, but this time just say "weather".
- In Prickly City, when Carmen is upset about having told Blatant Lies, and Winslow doesn't want to talk about it.
- In the Gilbert and Sullivan operas:
- In The Pirates of Penzance, the sisters feign this in order to get as close as propriety permits to Leaving The Two Lovebirds Alone. Conveniently, their rapid-fire patter chorus about how beautifully blue the sky is and how it may pour tomorrow fades to background levels whenever Frederick and Mabel are singing.
- Ruddigore, Robin Cannot Spit It Out to Rose so he talks to her about the weather instead.
- My Fair Lady: When Eliza went to Ascot, Professor Higgins instructed her to stick to the weather as one of her topics of discussion. The vocal exercises Higgins gives her just happen to be about the weather - which makes for some awkward moments with the Ascot crowd, but that's by far the least awkward part of the particular conversation. Freddie even compliments her on being so 'awfully clever', particularly when Higgins explains it away as 'the new small talk'.
- The Arcadians: Two love birds get very close to declaring their feelings for one another when a crowd of strangers comes along. Of course, one cannot discuss emotions in public, so they are forced to discuss the 'Charming Weather'. Twice.
- In Carousel, Julie and Carrie, friends as young women, are meeting again for some gossip. Carrie is in the middle of telling a racy story about the Chorus Girls she saw while on a visit to New York City—but then Julie's own daughter enters the room, causing Carrie to invoke this Trope mid-sentence:
Carrie: She threw her leg over a fence like this— (As she is swinging her leg over the chair, she sees Louise and hastily puts her leg down)…and it rained all day!
- Jack in The Importance of Being Earnest tries this and is promptly called on it.
- Oscar derides Felix in The Odd Couple for contributing only a weather report to a conversation.
- You can overhear several conversations in Batman: Arkham City about the weather. Considering its the middle of a snowstorm in a Gotham winter, and the speakers are typically pulling outdoor guard duty, it fits.
- In Rune Factory 3, the first time that you greet a character each day often brings about a comment about the weather, which varies depending on the person you're talking to and how the weather affects their day-to-day activities and work.
- One bit of Enemy Chatter overheard in Splinter Cell Double Agent has one guard scolding the other for being distracted by falling snow, and the other replies he's never seen snow before. They go on to discuss where they're from and the kind of weather their hometowns get, giving you an ample opportunity to slip by unnoticed. Unless you want to be the asshole who killed a man right after he saw his first snowfall.
- In Undertale, Alphys at one point rambles about how Undyne once called her to talk about the weather... before getting hit with the Fridge Logic that there is no weather in the Underground, so why was Undyne calling her? It's implied that Undyne just wanted an excuse to talk to Alphys at all, but Alphys has such a low opinion of herself that the implications fly right over her head.
- In Little Busters!, Haruka and Rin end up doing this in one scene because Haruka feels awkward around Rin since she's so noisy and Rin isn't very good with people she doesn't know very well.
- In Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Justice for All, Dr. Grey's Hair-Trigger Temper is apparently set off by inaccurate weather predictions, so Phoenix decides not to talk about the weather with him.
- Faux Pas: Randy is trying to teach Cindy to understand human. Unfortunately, he's very innocent, while the humans like to talk about sex. He's always telling her that they're talking about the weather.
- In Sinfest, God using a Satan puppet talks about the weather to Lil' E.
- Wapsi Square: Darren thinks you can get to know people this way.
- In The Specialists, Henry, taking Agnes's presence as evidence of interest in him, says that she surely didn't come out to talk about the weather.
- In xkcd, this trope is hard on weather geeks.
- In Endstone, after waking up in the woods and realizing how compromising it looked, they awkwardly talk about the morning's weather.
- In Digger, Digger's response when Murai says the statue had actually held the god, that night.
- On the Japanese learning site Erin’s Challenge!’s video clips, when Erin, a new half-Japanese foreign exchange student, is introduced to her new classmate Kenta by her new friend and his close friend Saki, he feels very awkward speaking to her and clumsily talks about the rain. Saki chides him for it and tells him to make proper conversation.
- Voltron: Defender of the Universe: My Brother Is a Robeast
Pidge: I don't know what to talk about, how 'bout sports or the weather?
- The Fairly OddParents!: Abra Catastrophe
Cosmo: I'm terrible at small talk! Ask me about the weather!Timmy: Uh, How's the Weather?Cosmo: Jeff! [shakes Timmy violently] See what I mean?!
- In their first meeting in Hey Arnold!, this is how child psychologist Dr. Bliss lures Helga into talking to her.
Dr. Bliss: "We can keep it light. We can talk about the weather or sports, or your classmates. We can talk about... Arnold."Helga: "ARNOLD!"
- Phineas and Ferb managed to take even this trope up to eleven. When the boys are hit by Doof's Dull-And-Boring-Inator in "Phineas and Ferb Interrupted", Phineas goes on a minute long spiel about yes, how the weather is nice, although barometric readings would suggest otherwise. Did you know barometers have two scales? Of course, now you can simply look up the weather on the Internet, but then you wouldn't be able to calculate where the sun is in the meridian and...
- In "Snow Show" from Llama Llama, none of the kids are allowed to talk with Llama Llama about their snow sculptures because he's the judge. So when Luna Giraffe encounters him, she comments on how they're having "nice weather" which results in a bemused "I guess" from him because it's a gray, cloudy winter day. She says it looks like it might snow, but they won't talk about snow because then they might talk about snow sculptures, which just isn't allowed.
- Many British folk are a permanent example of this and many foreign and native observers have tried to rationalise their apparent obsession with the weather, to the point where anthropologists have subjected to serious study. It's true that that Britain itself is in a temperate climate with an active gulf stream leading to very changeable weather, but there's also a general preference not to discuss personal matters or controversial ones ("politics, religion or The Great Pumpkin") with strangers, if only because just about everything is Serious Business to someone in Britain (as has been remarked, the two nationals pastimes of the British are talking about the weather and arguing) which doesn't leave you with many options. Basically when a British person complains about the weather, it's their way of stating either "I want to talk to you", or "I don't want to talk to you, but I have no choice."
- In Brittany, the region of France immediately south of Britain (and similar enough that the name was originally translated as Lesser Britain, in contrast to Great Britain), it is the de facto icebreaker, for similar reasons to Britain itself: the weather tends to change three times a day, so it's really something worth keeping track of.
- Norway. Norwegians actually treat weather even more as Serious Business than the British, the difference being that an Englishman can begin a conversation by casually mentioning the weather, but only a Norwegian would actually follow the topic and discussing it. No wonder, when generations of Norwegian depended on the sea for survival, mostly through fishing. The weather could be a question of life and death (North Norwegian storms are still referred to by the male gender, by the way). This also had significance for the farmers, because of harsh climate.
- In Japan, it's customary that, if you have an important matter to discuss with a boss or co-worker, one should first talk about something trivial before going into more serious matters. Weather is often the topic.
- A persistent stereotype about Winnepeg, Manitoba is that two Winnepeggers, no matter where in the world they meet, or how long it's been since either has been back home, will inevitably ask one another what the weather was like in Manitoba when they leftnote .
- On the Internet, complaining about the weather in your area will most likely turn into Misery Poker, with others from regions of worse weather chastising you for complaining about weather they consider everyday or paradise compared to what they have to deal with.
- In Minnesota, the climate is bizarre enough that every season on the calendar can occur within days of each othernote . As such, weather is a common topic.
- Enforced by the German Green party's slogan in the 1990 election. It's a played with version in that it looks like the trope outside of the parenthesis but is inverted inside them.
"Everybody is talking about Germany [the unification]. We're talking about the weather [global warming]."