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Funny / Quantum Leap

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This wasn't even the point of the mission!
Warning: Contains spoilers. If you haven't seen the series, maybe don't leap ahead too far...

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    Season 1 
  • The ending to "How the Tess Was Won" is the best part of the episode. Sam is a veterinarian in rural Texas and spends the whole episode trying to win the heart of a local rancher. It turned out that his real mission for this leap is to inspire the veterinarian's young assistant to finish a song that he's been working on. Why would that be so important? Because that young assistant is a young Buddy Holly, and the song is "Peggy Sue!" Sam has a fantastic "You Have GOT To Be Kidding Me" face when he realizes his efforts with the rancher were All for Nothing.
  • During the climax of "Double Identity", right as Sam gets into a struggle with Geno Fescotti, he leaps out... into Geno Fescotti.
    Sam: (crawls onto a stack of newspapers; sees his reflection; thinking) Oh God, now I'm Don Geno. (hangs head in exasperation)
    Season 2 
  • From "Disco Inferno": The "Man Bag", and just Al's fascination of the 70s vs Sam's disgust for the time period.
  • In "So Help Me God", Sam is offered a ride home from court by the father of the victim. Sam's narration gives us his first impression of him.
    Sam:Despite the warm voice and friendly smile, I didn't like him. I didn't like the way people parted before him or the way they touched their hats said 'Captain' as he passed. But since he was obviously the man who ran this town, I had to learn all I could about him. Besides, I had no idea where I lived.
  • At the end of "What Price Gloria?", Sam gets revenge on the Jerkass skirt-chasing executive who harassed him and nearly drove the leapee's roommate to suicide. How does he do it? By saying he's a man. The exec's reactions are priceless, particularly when Sam says he can prove he's a man, and the exec backs away in a panic, shouting "NO!" so loudly that his voice cracks. And here's the link to prove it.
  • From "Maybe Baby":
    Al: Why's everyone applauding? Did I miss something?
    Sam: Bunny just stripped for gas money.
    Al: So, she stripped. What do ya mean... She stripped! And I missed it! Sam, I'm the Observer on this project and I should have been here to observe it.
    Season 3 
  • "Miss Deep South." There's something wonderfully surreal about Sam winning a beauty pageant. He gets the big song and bouquet of flowers and everything.
  • In "A Little Miracle", Al tries impersonating the Ghost of Christmas Future, and not very well.
    Blake: I know you. You're that jerk from the lobby.
    Al: I am the Ghost of Christmas Future. Whoo Haha!
    Blake: Please. The Ghost of Christmas Future wore a black cape. Jacob Marley had the chains.
  • In "A Hunting We Will Go", Al recognizes the Belligerent Sexual Tension between Sam and the woman he's supposed to be bringing to justice. He explains the Five Steps of Love: Denial, Sex, Marriage, Divorce, and, if you're lucky, More Sex.
    Sam: Who wrote this list, you or Zsa-Zsa Gabor?!
  • Al's alphabet rap in "Shock Therapy". This show went to some very strange places.
    Season 4 
  • In "The Leap Back", Sam's delight at being the hologram for a change. Also, Sam being the one who makes dirty jokes (and his reaction afterwards, every time), leaving Al with the "choir boy thoughts" - and hating every minute of it. Perhaps best of all, Sam is having the time of his life pulling hologram pranks.
    (door swings inward, swinging thru and revealing Sam)
    Sam: HELLO, BAY-BEH~!
    Al: GAH! Don't do that!
    Sam: Muahahaha! Revenge is mine, thus sayeth the hologram! (starts 'swimming' thru Al) Pwah, pwah, pwah...
  • "Raped" (Paired with "Awesome")
    • Sam is sitting outside, confused as to his purpose and why he hasn't leaped, as he's pressed charges and testified against the attacker, who's somehow been acquitted. Suddenly, the guy shows up, and makes it quite clear that he's going to assault her again (by punching them to the ground). This time, however, he's dealing with Sam Beckett, who gives him one of the most satisfying Groin Attacks in the history of television, gets to his feet, and matter-of-factly declares:
    • It's capped off by Al casually tapping off his cigar ashes onto the guy's prone body.
  • In "The Wrong Stuff", Sam leaps into a chimp that's part of the space program. Just about the whole episode is great, but there are a couple of moments that stand out. In one scene, the female doctor is looking Sam over:
    Sam: Look, I don't have a temperature! (presses her hand to his forehead, she goes for a thermometer) Okay, fine, take my temperature. Aaaaaaah! Aaaaaaah!
    (The doctor goes around behind him)
    Al: Uh, Sam? I don't think she's gonna put that in your mouth...
    Sam: (as the doctor makes him bend over) Aaaaaaah boy...
  • In "Unchained" when Sam and Al are trying to figure out who killed a man who didn't die in the original history.
    Sam: Look, most murder victims are killed by people that they know, right?
    Al: Right.
    Sam: Who would have the best reason to kill Jake?
    Al: (eyes light up) Ooh! Does he have any ex-wives?
    Sam: (rolls eyes) A partner.
  • Just about all of Al and Angela from "It's a Wonderful Leap".
    Al: You know, one not so loud...
  • While it's a tense scene, there's the fact of the matter that Sam manages to resolve the conflict of "Stand-Up"... with pie on his face.
    Season 5 
  • From "Promised Land":
    Sam: They're robbing the bank to pay the bank?
    Al: Well, that has a certain symmetry to it.
  • From the episode "Blood Moon":
    Al: He has all the signs of the undead.
    Sam: And you have all the signs of the brain dead!
    • Sam's reaction when he looks at his reflection only to find he doesn't have one!
  • "Goodbye Norma Jean" is a depressing episode about the twilight of Marilyn Monroe's short life, but leave it to Al to somehow make it hilarious. Sam's on edge about her poor mental health, when Al tells him to hurry up and get to the pool immediately. Sam fears the worst and runs outside, only to find that Al just wanted to show him Marilyn Monroe skinny dipping.
    Al: Sam, look at that. [Sam immediately turns around and tries not to look]
    Marilyn: Well, good morning! Is something wrong??
    Sam: Uh... [whispers to Al] brought me out here for this?!
    Al: Are you kidding?!? It's like looking at Helen of Troy, or Botticelli's Venus!
    Sam: Naked.
    Al: Right!
    Sam: Wrong.
  • Al's alternate future from "Memphis Melody," if Elvis Presley never makes it big: "Jailhouse Rock" is now recorded by Tony Orlando and Dawn!

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