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Funny / Quantum Leap

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This wasn't even the point of the mission!
Warning: Contains spoilers. If you haven't seen the series, maybe don't leap ahead too far...

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    Season 1 
  • The ending to "How the Tess Was Won" is the best part of the episode. Sam is a veterinarian in rural Texas and spends the whole episode trying to win the heart of a local rancher. It turned out that his real mission for this leap is to inspire the veterinarian's young assistant to finish a song that he's been working on. Why would that be so important? Because that young assistant is a young Buddy Holly, and the song is "Peggy Sue!" Sam has a fantastic "You Have Got to Be Kidding Me!" face when he realizes his efforts with the rancher were All for Nothing.
  • Being tasked with singing "Volare" at the wedding in "Double Identity", Sam has trouble starting since, you know, he doesn't know Italian. But once Al feeds him the lyrics, Sam begins to do his best Dean Martin.
    Don Geno: I don't want [the guy sleeping with Teressa] dead meat. I want him singing soprano.

    Season 2 

    Season 3 
  • "Miss Deep South." There's something wonderfully surreal about Sam winning a beauty pageant. He gets the big song and bouquet of flowers and everything. And this is doubly funny since Al had previously told Sam that the leapee had originally gotten third place. As mentioned in the caption, this wasn't why he leapt in.
    • And Sam is actually driven to tears.
      Al: Hey, you okay?
      Sam: I just wish Katie could be here to see this...
  • In "A Little Miracle", Sam is the servant of a literal Scrooge, Michael Blake, and has leapt into Christmas Eve. But when Al shows up in a Hawaiian shirt, Sam has to be reminded the hard way that just because it's Christmas Eve for him, it doesn't mean it's the same back at the Project.
    Sam: I'm a 200 pound vallet.
    Al: Well, count your blessings. You could be wearing a red suit and ringing a bell in front of Macy's.
    Sam: (incredulously; gestures to Al's shirt) And you could be... a waiter at Trader Vics!
    Al: Hey! It's not Christmas where I am- I mean when I am. It's the middle of July.
  • Towards the end of "Runaway", Al figures the reason why Sam still had yet to leap was because of the fact that the leapee's older sister keeps bullying her brother, as evidenced by the fact she wedgies Sam in the middle of Al's explanation. So, what does Sam do? Grab her and dangle her down a well headfirst, threatening her into promising to never torture him ever again. And as a reminder, Sam is currently supposed to be a thirteen-year old.
    Alexandra: (as Sam has her lifted onto his shoulder) Oh, who do you think you are now, Superman?!
  • Right at the start of "A Hunting We Will Go", Sam finds himself handcuffed to a woman, Diane, who proceeds to get two people nearby to beat Sam up under the claims that he's abusing her... only for them to discover the warrant for her arrest in Sam's pocket when trying to find the handcuff key. It quickly becomes apparent that Sam leapt into a bounty hunter... except both men and Sam himself fail to remember the term. Diane has to be the one to point it out.
    • Al recognizes the Belligerent Sexual Tension between Sam and Diane, and explains the Five Steps of Love: Denial, Sex, Marriage, Divorce, and, if you're lucky, More Sex.
    Sam: Who wrote this list, you or Zsa-Zsa Gabor?!
  • Right at the end of "Nuclear Family", the Cuban Missile Crisis is over, and Mac has no idea what to do with his fallout shelter company now that people are cancelling their orders. Sam suggests rebranding the company and selling swimming pools instead. Al has a good old laugh fit over Sam's idea... until Ziggy churns out new data, revealing Sam's suggestion gives way to the biggest swimming pool construction company in South Florida.
  • Al's alphabet rap in "Shock Therapy". This show went to some very strange places.
  • "8 1/2 Months" gets a few, thanks to the premise, though most of it is actually played seriously because of the leapee's situation: Sam leaps into a pregnant teenage girl living in the 1950's, presumably and subsequently making him pregnant too, or at least presenting the symptoms. While initially disturbed about the whole thing, Sam feels the baby kick and happily tells Al, then gets excited when he has hot flashes. Al rolls his eyes and insists that this could not possibly be the case because of basic biology, and that it's all in Sam's head, all while Sam is laughing his head off.

    Season 4 

    Season 5 
  • Towards the end of "Leaping of the Shrew", Al explains that in the original timeline, Nikos and Vanessa were unable to admit their true feelings for each other because, due to Nikos' navigation skills, they got rescued too soon. Or, as Sam comes to realize, part of the reason why he leaped into Nikos is because he sucks at sailing.
  • In "Star Light, Star Bright", when talking to the leapee's grandson, Tim, Sam decides to bond with him by talking shop about guitarists. When Sam brings up Jimi Hendrix, Tim expresses confusion about who he isnote , Sam decides to show Tim how he plays by borrowing his electric guitar. Now, seeing Sam bust out some Hendrix-style licks while Tim looks on in amazement? Awesome. The fact that the camera pans to show the leapee, a 79 year old man, busting out those same licks? Awesomer.
  • In "Promised Land", Al informs Sam that the reason why the Walters brothers are robbing the bank is because the bank is forclosing on their farm due to them being behind on a loan payment. And as Sam quickly realizes, the amount of the loan is the same amount they are holding up the bank for.
    Sam: T-they're robbing the bank to pay the bank?
    Al: Well, that has a certain symmetry to it.
  • The basic plot of "A Tale of Two Sweeties" sees Sam leap into a bigamist, married to two different women, with two kids each. And it appears Sam will only leap out when he picks one of the two wives (as the leapee, Marty, can't make up his mind). The only problem? The odds for which wife Sam should pick are exactly 50/50.
    • Due to the fact that one of Marty's kids, Jessica, can see Sam and Al, Al (having learned quite a deal since "Another Mother") quickly convinces her that he's an imaginary friend and her dad is in disguise.
      • Likewise, we find out via Jessica that Marty has a gambling problem, something Al confirms.
        Jessica: Daddy's friend Al wants us to go now. He says someone's looking for Daddy.
        Rachel: (annoyed) Marty, have you been gambling again?
        Sam: What? (turns to Al; Al quickly checks the handlink and nods to Sam)
        Jessica: Al says yes.
        Rachel: Don't lie to me, Marty, you know it drives me crazy!
        Sam: (defensive) She's talking to my invisible friend, d-don't forget that!
    • After seeing Josh get upset over his sister Jessica constantly get her way, Sam decides to have a heart to heart with him about the difficulties of being an older brother. Josh... is less than impressed.
      Josh: (scoff) Come on, Dad.
      Sam: "Come on", what?
      Josh: Well, whenever we have a heart-to-heart, the next thing you do is you hit me up for cash.
      Sam: What?
      Josh': And you know I'm tapped out!
      • And when Sam insists he isn't doing that? Josh is annoyed that his dad is trying to beg, and insists "this is the last time".
    • Sam has to go meet Ellen and her kids at the movies... causing Rachel to become upset that he's running off to another "meeting". Sam's solution? Taking Rachel and her kids to the same theater. And they wind up at opposite ends of the same row. Short and sweet, Sam winds up experiencing a classic trope: the Two-Timer Date.
    • Part of the leap is that Sam has to prevent Rachel and Ellen from finding out about each other. The problem? As it turns out, unbeknownst to Sam, Rachel is Ellen's hair stylist.
      Al: (is reading from the handlink) Ziggy's freaking out.
      Sam: What she's sayin'?
      Al: She's saying "get the hell away from the win".
      Sam: The "win"? The what?
      Al: "Dow."
      Sam: (as Al repeats himself) "Dow"?
      Al: Oh, the window! (Sam looks to his right and is horrified) "Get the hell away from the wi-" (Al turns to the right) OH, THE WINDOW!
      (cut to the right... where we see the hair parlor Ellen and Rachel are at)
    • Being forced to pay off his gambling debts then and now, Sam proceeds to call up "Big Al" and ask for his help. His attention is stolen by the horse race on the TV next to him, and asks if it's possible to use Ziggy to figure out who wins. Al shoots that down hard, stating it's a rule of the Project to never use future knowledge for personal gain.
      Sam: Well, what idiot made up that rule?!
      Al: (bluntly) You did. (Sam's face falls) I tried to talk you out of it, but nooooooo!
    • At the end of the episode, both Rachel and Ellen, after finding out about each other, and bonding over how much of a scumbag Marty is (as he keeps scamming them for money to use at the horse tracks), decide to leave him... which Sam quietly celebrates after they walk away. This prompts Al to become upset, as he quickly figures out that Sam had realized this was why he leapt into Marty, to blow apart his scheme. And then it turns out there's a third family Marty has...
      Son #3: Hi, Daddy!
      Sam and Al: ...ooooh, boy.
  • At the end of "Liberation", Sam leaps out, only to find himself on a sound-stage, having leapt in right in the middle of his leapee being asked a question by a caller. That question, once Sam asks for it to be repeated? That one certain myth about men's feet. Completely flustered, Sam looks around the studio... only to see his reflection in the mirror above him.
    Dr. Ruth!Sam: (in the reflection; hand to face) Oh, boy!
  • One of the driving plots of "Blood Moon" concerns Al being absolutely certain that Sam had leapt into a vampire.
    Al: He has all the signs of the undead.
    Sam: And you have all the signs of the brain dead!
  • "Goodbye Norma Jean" is a depressing episode about the twilight of Marilyn Monroe's short life, but leave it to Al to somehow make it hilarious. Sam's on edge about her poor mental health, when Al tells him to hurry up and get to the pool immediately. Sam fears the worst and runs outside, only to find that Al just wanted to show him Marilyn Monroe skinny dipping.
    Al: Sam, look at that. [Sam immediately turns around and tries not to look]
    Marilyn: Well, good morning! Is something wrong??
    Sam: Uh... [whispers to Al] brought me out here for this?!
    Al: Are you kidding?!? It's like looking at Helen of Troy, or Botticelli's Venus!
    Sam: Naked.
    Al: Right!
    Sam: Wrong.
  • Al's alternate future from "Memphis Melody," if Elvis Presley never makes it big: "Heartbreak Hotel" is recorded by The Monkees, and "Jailhouse Rock" is recorded by Tony Orlando and Dawn!

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