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Hurricane of Euphemisms

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"It's not pining, it's passed on! This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet its maker! This. Is a late. Parrot! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace, if you hadn't nailed it to the perch it would be pushing up the daisies! It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible! This! Is an EX! PARROT!"

When a character rattles off a list of euphemisms, synonyms, figures of speech, slang terms, and/or foreign language translations that all mean the same thing, in order to emphasize a point or give an unsubtle hint to the person they're taking to.

When used one at a time, euphemisms serve as milder substitutes for words considered too harsh or blunt for the situation. When you refer to something using multiple euphemisms, however, you instead draw attention to the actual subject in a way that's impossible to avoid. You're saying the same thing in so many different ways that they can't play dumb by pretending not to understand at least one of the expressions you're using, and you're implying that any attempt by them to hide behind euphemisms is useless because nobody knows what they really mean better than you do. This is great for teasing, exasperating, or accusing someone about something they're trying to avoid, but in any case it's a shining opportunity for the user to show off their vocabulary, wit, and/or knowledge of slang.

It could be about anything, but tends to be about subjects that are taboo or embarassing to discuss such as death (in which case it's often used to mock or defy Never Say "Die"), sexuality (private parts, sexual orientations, masturbation, sex acts), bodily functions (farting, burping, urination, defecation, vomiting), sensitive health problems (obesity, drug/alcohol addiction, mental or physical disabilities), or crime and punishment (drugs/contraband, murder, prison, the police).

A subtrope of Rapid-Fire Comedy. Similar to Hurricane of Puns. Compare Freudian Slippery Slope. Contrast Cluster F-Bomb. See also Cliché Storm.


    open/close all folders 

  • This advert gives us a hurricane of Visual Puns... it may take a while for the penny to drop. (It's for Charmin toilet paper.)
  • An AT&T Commercial:
    "Yeah, so with AT&T Next you get the new iPhone for zero down."
    "Zero down? Zilch. Nothing? Nada. Small potatoes? No potatoes. Diddly-squat? A big old goose egg."

    Anime & Manga 
  • Eyeshield 21: Hiruma and Leonard Apollo trash-talk each other in Gratuitous English, throwing out just about every (censored) euphemism for "penis" there is. Sena and Monta are left wondering who "Dick" and "Johnson" are, while a mortified Mamori refuses to translate any further than saying they're using very rude language.
  • Futari Ecchi: The real beauty of that is that the usual onomatopoeia for "chirp chirp" in Japanese is "chin-chin", which doubles as a childish way to say "penis".
    "What's a blow job?"
    "That's... fellatio... fella-chan?... lip service..."
    "Lick-suck... flute play... chirp-chirp-lick-lick..."
    "Stop it!"
  • I Can't Understand What My Husband Is Saying: In episode four, Miki rages at Hajime for having not corrected his misimpression that Mayotama was a girl before he made a move, thus setting up an Unsettling Gender-Reveal:
    "Your sister has a palm tree and coconuts! Arabiki... elephant... wiener! ***k *f destiny!"

  • Dylan Moran does a brilliant routine in his 'Monster' DVD about how he didn’t even know about gay people for a long time while he was growing up, because all the grown-ups around him only talked about it using stupid-sounding and impenetrable euphemisms:
    "Well, you know what they say about John, anyway."
    "No I don't. Wh—what do they say?"
    "Well, you know, apparently he's, uh, he's, you know, he's..." [cocks leg]
    "I'm sorry, what are you talking about?"
    "You knoooow! If I have to spell it out, apparently he's... you know, still picking up twigs in the springtime." [raises eyebrows] "Oh yes, one of Yul Brunner's hairdressers. Likes his toast done on three sides, yes."
    [now exasperated] "What ARE you talking about?!"
  • British stand-up comedian Jasper Carrott has a bit where he goes through an unfeasibly long list of euphemisms for sex, breasts and the penis. It is GENIUS.
  • George Carlin:
    • He had a great bit about this.
    • He uses another one during his famous 7 Words You Can't Say on TV routine.

    Comic Books 
  • Mark Waid had this to say in response to people asking him to bring back Barry Allen
    "What is it with you people? Barry is Dead! Gone! Hearsed! Why can't you let him rest honorably, in peace?"
  • Zodon from PS238 does this a fair bit... or would, if that "Barry Ween" chip didn't translate all his swearwords into non-offensive terms, and actual hurricanes into excerpts from show tunes.
  • In The Savage Dragon, when Super Toughnote , after years of being Trapped in Another World, reunites with his former sidekick Mace AKA Young Toughnote , they greet each other with a passionate kiss, prompting Noble Bigot with a Badge Howard Niseman to spend the whole rest of the scene in the background muttering euphemisms for "gay".
  • Captain Haddock of Tintin loves to hurl hurricanes of obscure euphemisms at his enemies.
    • This was originally to please the Moral Guardians, as Hergé couldn't have his character using foul language in a comic read by children. Then it became a definite quirk of the personage.
    • All of Haddock's curses can be found here, in alphabetical order.
  • In the thirteenth Valhalla album, when Loki upon finding himself in the underworld tries to ask Hel if he's really dead or not, he uses every every possible euphemism for "death," only to have her completely misunderstand them all, until he breaks down and screams the real word. Translated and paraphrased:
    Loki: What brings me here... to the kingdom of the dead... ulp! Does this mean I have... passed away?
    Hel: Away? You're right here.
    Loki: Have I found my peace?
    Hel: You don't look very peaceful.
    Loki: Ceased to breathe?
    Hel: Doesn't sound like it.
    Loki: Kicked the bucket?
    Hel: What bucket?
    Loki: Danced the last dance... perished... pushing up the daisies... snuffed out... croaked... Am I DEAD, damn it?!
    • He isn't, he's just dreaming.

    Fan Works 
  • Blackbird:
    Harry: I know you’re extremely curious about what the "Whore of Gryffindor" has been doing with himself these past two years, but I have a question for you first.
    Bill: Don't call yourself that!
    Harry: What? Whore? I was also a freak, a slut, a faggot, a cocksucker, a shirt lifter, a ponce, a nancy boy, a queen, a bitch...I could go on, but if you frequent a place like Tommy’s then you’ve probably been called all those words yourself.
  • The Bolt Chronicles:
    • In "The Cakes," Mittens peevishly puts forth a blizzard of euphemisms for doing a bowel movement in Monty Python "Dead-parrot-sketch" fashion. Her litter box is located in the laundry room, and Bolt misunderstands her initial veiled explanations regarding why she was there. Once the dog finally figures things out, he supplies an unusual contribution of his own.
    • In "The Kippies," Mittens offers several increasingly eccentric euphemisms to point out that Bolt cannot get her pregnant.
  • Broken Twilight:
    Harry: Well, I have three dads now, and while it's totally amazing, it does get confusing. I mean, do I call you guys, daddy, dada, father, papa, pappy, sire, old man, old fart...
  • In Dahlia Evans & the Broken Bridge Hermione explains the purpose of a Swear Jar to Neville.
    Neville: So if I said "Malfoy's an enormous tit"—
    Dahlia: Prick—
    Neville: Wanker—
    Dahlia: Bawbag—
    Neville: Plonker—
    Dahlia: Knob—
    Neville: Bogie-licking bum kisser—
    Dahlia: Dragon dung-eating arsewipe—
  • Di Catenas:
    Draco: You're... You're a...
    Harry: Homosexual? Poofter? Queer? 'Light in the shoes?' Surprised?
  • Prevalent in Entropy due to the cast of Code Geass watching a dvd of the series. Milly and Lloyd in particular get in on it.
    Lloyd: You don't think space was tight in that tunnel? And that he should pull out before he gets in trouble?
    Zero/Suzaku: I don't like where this is going.
    Milly: But Nina and I were in danger! I don't see anything wrong with Suzaku penetrating the terrorists' defenses straight through that tunnel to save us — as hard and fast as he can.
    Zero/Suzaku: Stop.
    Kaguya: Maybe not straight through, right? Maybe just a little bit to the left.
    Zero/Suzaku: STOP.
    Milly: It's not like he'd have to be gentle. The enemy was experienced..
    Zero/Suzaku: No, no, nonono—!
    Milly: I'm glad he didn't hold back and really gave it to them!
  • In Expecting the Unexpected Harry is somehow pregnant with Draco's child despite never having sex, period.
    Draco: Pregnant? What do you mean, 'pregnant'?
    Harry: You know, Malfoy. Pregnant. Knocked up. With child. Up the duff. In the family way. Bun in the oven. Expecting. Is that enough euphemisms for you, or would you like me to continue?
  • In The Glow of Gold Dust Harry's bitten by a vampire Veela.
    Draco: Semen is your life-saving nutrition. Because of the treatment we've been providing for you, you've had no immediate need for it up till now, but as the treatment progresses, you will soon start to need the nourishment.
    Harry: Semen? Excuse me? What are you saying?
    Draco: Semen, come, jism, spunk, the elixir of love, love juice, whatever you want to call it.
  • I Welcome the Unwelcome:
    Violet: Some seventh year just called me the Dark Lord's whore. And both Parvati and Lavender ignored me.
    Hermione: I thought you actually had to do... stuff to be considered a whore.
    Violet: Sex, Hermione, not stuff.
    Hermione: Yes, well—
    Violet: You're nearly seventeen! Surely you can say sex. Or shag. Or screw. Or bang. Or fuck.
  • Lady Black, Lord Potter:
    Tonks: Oh, what a bunch of arseholes. Well they are arseholes, Mum. They doubted what Harry's been through with...the dark idiot. That doesn't seem strong enough, idiot.
    Ted: Wanker? no, that won't do.
    Tonks: Git?
    Ted: Numbnuts?
    Tonks: Moron?
    Ted: Fucker?
    Tonks: Fuckface?
  • Life, Death and Other Career Options:
    Snape: I am not ill, Mr Potter. I am pregnant.
    Harry: Pardon? I think my ears are playing tricks.
    Snape: Preg-nant. You heard me. Pregnant. In trouble. Up the duff. In the family way. Knocked up. Enceinte. A bun in the oven. A cake in the cauldron. Eating for two. Spawning...
  • Mockingbird:
    Mrs. Granger: I...I beg your pardon? Mr. Potter is w-what?
    Luna: Oh, don't you use the word pregnant in the Muggle world? Well he's up the duff, knocked up, bun in the oven...Masquerading as a hot air balloon...With child.
  • In Not the Golden Route Harry admits that he and Hermione had sex in the tent after Ron left.
    Ron: No, save it, Harry! You had her go wild on the hippogriff, ride your broomstick, show you her Chamber of Secrets and allow your basilisk to slither in, whomping the willow, visit your restricted section, let you stir her cauldron, take you to the Shrieking Shack, turn into Moaning Myrtle, duel with your wand, take a trip in your Forbidden Forest, make your mandrake cry, and...
    Harry: Are you done, Ron? Are you through with all your sexual puns?
    Ron: No, I got a few more.
  • Peeking Through the Fourth Wall: In Episode 33, Lana denies being a "snitch", "stool pigeon", "tattletale", and "blabbermouth" when reading a story in which her sister Lynn fears she'd tell on her.
  • In The Perilous Conflict, Hermione tells Harry that Bill and Fleur are engaged.
    Harry: Engaged?
    Fred: Yep, that's right. Engaged, betrothed, plighted, affianced, leg-shackled. Doomed, enslaved—
  • In The Poker Game, Harry creates a sentient magical construct and Luna makes a remark about "knocking up" magic.
    Harry: That's not a very nice thing to say.
    Luna: Then what would you like me to say, Harry? Impregnate? Inseminate? Fertilize? Fecundate? Or would you prefer the more basal terms? Bang up? Prang up? Pupped? Stuffed? Preggered? Hatched an egg in the dragon nest? Spread the Egyptian flu? Joined the pudding club? Up the kite? Up the pole? Up the spout? Up the duff? Put a bun in the oven? Baking cookies? Caulked the pipes?
  • Comes up in Rainbow Brite's Light when Buffy tells Dawn she can have sex with Xander but only if they don't go past 3rd base.
    Dawn: What's third base?
    Xander: We were only supposed to go to Third Base? Buffy's gonna kill me!
    Dawn: What did we do?
    Xander: First through fourth, a little of left field and that last time I think we knocked the cover off the ball as we hit it out of the park.
    Dawn: Oh. I guess I got carried away.
    Xander: No, you carried me away.
    Dawn: Extra innings?
    Xander: You know it.
  • In Relief from Nightmares Dobby comments that Remus and Sirius are still in bed and Harry interprets this as their being asleep.
    Fred: They're bumping uglies!
    George: Having a bit of how's your father!
    Fred: Some good ol' rumpy-pumpy!
    George: Making the beast with two backs!
  • Sekirei? Is that some new species of little Sister?:
    • After Naruto has sex with Kazehana, he and Uzume trade euphemisms for sex.
      Uzume: You boinked her, didn't you big bro?"
      Naruto: Mounted her like a mule.
      Uzume: Did the no pants dance.
      Naruto: Fed the kitty.
      Uzume: Swept the chimney.
      Naruto: Checked the oil.
      Uzume: Tested the suspension.
      Naruto: Filled the cream donut.
      Uzume: Made the beast with two backs.
      Naruto: Stuffed the beaver.
      Uzume: Did the horizontal hula.
      Naruto: Attacked the pink fortress.
      Uzume: Lusted and thrusted.
      Naruto: Gave her a hot beef injection.
      Uzume: Okay, you win.
      Naruto: "That's What She Said."
    • Later, Naruto gives several euphemisms when asking Miya if she's masturbated since her husband's death.
      Naruto: How often have you kneaded the love muffin? Diddled the skittle? Flicked the bean? Stroked the kitty? Done some indoor fishing? Given yourself some lip service? Brushed the—
      Naruto: Well, since you feel the need to scream, perhaps you should consider starting?
  • The Tinkerer:
    Harry: Ravenclaw is the house for nerds, isn't it?
    Neville: Nerds?
    Harry: Oh, you know. A geek, an egghead, a bookworm, a brain, a sophist, a know-it-all, a philomath, an erudite, a ... well, a nerd.
  • In Veritas Oracle Harry keeps slipping out to meet Tonks as part of the effort to destroy Voldemort, with her in different forms so no-one can catch on. Fred and George have caught on, but put a different spin on their interpretation.
    George: We thought that you might be, how do you say?
    Fred: Sampling the fruits of life?
    George: Sowing your wild oats —
    Fred: Taking the old bicycle out for a ride —
    George: Testing the limits of your manhood —
    Fred: Dipping the wick —
  • Yule Ball Drama:
    Harry: I am Lord Potter and Lord Peverell. Second in line to the House of Black.
    Sirius: Maybe first-in-line, pup. I don't know if my little buddies work well enough to give me a future heir.
    Hermione: Little buddies?
    Sirius: Semen, jizz, cum, little swimmers, tadpoles, baby batter!

    Films — Animation 
  • The Emperor's New Groove:
    • For starter...
      Kuzco: Oh, and by the way, you're fired.
      Yzma: Fired? W-W-What do you mean, "fired"?
      [Kuzco snaps his finger and a servant comes in and writes down Yzma's "pink slip"]
      Kuzco: Um, how else can I say it? "You're being let go." "Your department's being downsized." "You're part of an outplacement." "We're going in a different direction." "We're not picking up your option." Take your pick. I got more.
    • Later in the movie, Yzma returns the favor.
      Kuzco: Okay, I admit it. Maybe I wasn't as nice as I should have been. But Yzma, you really wanna kill me?!
      Yzma: Just think of it as... you're being let go. That your life's going in a different direction. That your body is part of a permanent outplacement!
      Kronk: Hey, that's kinda like what he said to you when you got fired.
      Yzma: I know. It's called a "cruel irony"—like my dependence on you.
  • The Lion King:
    Zazu: Your parents will be thrilled, what with your being betrothed and all.
    Simba: Be-what?
    Zazu: Betrothed. Intended. Affianced.
    Nala: [beat] Meaning?
    Zazu: One day, you two are going to be married!

    Films — Live-Action 
  • Charlie Frost (Woody Harrelson) describing what the Apocalypse is in 2012.
    Jackson Curtis: I was listening to the broadcast and I was wondering what is exactly that's gonna start in Hollywood?
    Charlie Frost: It's the apocalypse. End of days. The Judgment Day, the end of the world, my friend. Christians called it the rapture, but the Mayans knew about it, the Hopis, the I Ching, the Bible, kind of...
  • In Airplane!, Rex Kramer laments that Stryker is now the pilot of the plane: "I know. I know. But it's his ship now, his command; he's in charge, he's the boss, the head man, the top dog, the big cheese, the head honcho, number one..."
  • In American Beauty, Lester Burnham lets loose with a short one of these at his wife when she catches him masturbating: "Oh, all right! So shoot me, I was whacking off! That's right, I was choking the bishop, chafing the carrot, you know, saying "hi" to my monster!"
  • Austin Powers:
    • In Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me, Dr. Evil escapes into space in a rocket that has a more-than-passing resemblance to a giant—
      Pilot: Dick!
      Dick: Yeah?
      Pilot: Take a look outta starboard.
      Dick: Oh my God! It looks like a huge—
      Birdwatching Woman: Pecker!
      Birdwatching Man: Ooh, where?
      Birdwatching Woman: Wait, that's not a woodpecker, that looks like someone's—
      Baseball Umpire: TWO BALLS! [looking up from game] What is that? That looks just like an enormous—
      Teacher in China: Wang! Pay attention!
      Wang: I was distracted by that enormous flying—
      Musician: Willie!
      Willie Nelson: Yeah?
      Musician: What's that?
      Willie: [squints] Well, that looks like a giant—
      Colonel: Johnson!
      Johnson: Yes, sir?
      Colonel: Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this.
    • A little bit later:
      Basil: Did we get Dr. Evil?
      Johnson: No, sir, he got away in that big spaceship that looks like a huge—
      Teacher: Penis! The male reproductive organ. Also known as "tallywhacker", "schlong", or—
      Barbecuing Dad: Wiener? Any of you kids want another wiener?
      Son: Dad, what's that?
      Dad: I don't know, son, but it's got great, big—
      Peanut Vendor at Baseball Game: NUTS! HOT, SALTY NUTS! WHO WANTS SOME? ...Lord Almighty!
      Woman: That looks just like my husband's—
      One-Eyed Monster: [bursts out of tent] RAAAR! ...Hey, what's that? It looks like a big—
      Fan: Woody! Woody Harrelson? Can I have your autograph?
      Woody: Sure, no problem. ...Oh, my Lord! Look at that thing!
      Fan: It's so big...
      Woody: I've seen bigger. That's—
      Dr. Evil: [holding a syringe] Just a little prick! [injects Mini-Me] It's a flu shot! You've been in the coldness of space. I don't want you to get sick.
    • Done again and lampshaded in Austin Powers in Goldmember, when Dr. Evil uses his tractor beam to pull a satellite out of orbit that looks like a huge pair of—
      Fruit Vendor: Melons! Big, juicy melons! [holds up two melons in front of her chest]
      Customer: Are they nice and firm?
      Fruit Vendor: [suggestively] Well, what do you think?
      Customer: Look at that! It looks like a set of giant—
      [cut to four shirtless football fans cheering in the stands, with letters painted on their chests spelling "TITS"]
      Second T: Hey! A and N, you're late!
      [two more fans join, the group now spells TITANS]
      A: How we doin'? We're back, yeah!
      Group: GO TITANS! YEAH!
      A: Check it out! Those remind me of—
      Ozzy Osbourne: [pausing the movie] Boobs!
      Sharon: Boobs, Ozzy?
      Ozzy: These filmmakers are just [bleep]-ing boobs.
      Kelly: What do you mean, Dad?
      Ozzy: Well, they're using the same [bleep]-ing joke as they did in the last Austin Powers movie.
      Sharon: What [bleep]-ing joke?
      Jack: You know, the [bleep]-ing joke about the long, smooth rocket that looks like some guy's—
      General: Johnson!
      Johnson: Yes, sir?
      General: Any sign of that satellite?
      Johnson: No, sir. It's gone.
  • From Brain Donors, in a scene where Roland T. Flakfizer is trying to convince the Great Volare (ballet dancer) to join the company he represents:
    Volare: Do you realize what I was doing at the age of seven?
    Flakfizer: I can imagine and you must be thankful you didn't go blind.
    Volare: I was dancing professionally.
    Flakfizer: Ehhh, whatever you call it! Flogging the carrot, polishing the cue stick, choking the chicken, clearing the snorkel...
  • Clerks II features what is more accurately described as a Hurricane of Dysphemisms:
    Dante Hicks: "Porch monkey" is a racial slur against black people!
    Randal Graves: Oh it is not! Coon, spook, spade, moolie, jigaboo, nig-nog, those are racial slurs against black people!
  • Donald Faison's character does this in Clueless to illustrate that Cher's "boyfriend" is gay.
    Murray: Your man Christian is a cakeboy! He's a disco dancing, Oscar Wilde reading, Streisand ticket holding friend of Dorothy, know what I'm saying?
  • A far more vulgar one from Williams appears in Death to Smoochy, as Sheldon had managed to play off a phallic cookie (that Randolph had planted) as a rocket ship.
    Rainbow Randolph: What are you, blind? It's a cock! It's not a rocket, you sick fuck! It's a cock! Look. It's a cock and balls! A dick! Chorizo and the huevos! It's a big stiffy! It's a PENIS! Penis maximus! A willie! A weenie! Mr. Jiggle Daddy! A wayne! The one-eyed wonder weasel! Don't you see that? It's Jimmy and the twins. Rumple Foreskin. He made this. It's made from dil-dough.
  • Ernest Goes to Jail:
    Ernest P. Worrell: Like in real, really, really, really, really real prison? The hoose-gow, the slammer, the joint, Alcatraz, San Quentin, Sing Sing, Oh no. I'm in... I'm in... jaiiiiiiil!
  • Four Rooms, the Second Room: The bellhop is trapped with an armed man and his wife tied to a chair, mistaken for the wife's lover.
    Sigfried: Would you stop talking about his penis?
    Angela: How can I stop talking about something that's so huge? I could go on and on about his cock, his bone, his knob, his bishop, wang, thang, rod, hot rod, hump mobile, oscar, dong, dagger, banana, cucumber, salami, sausage, kielbasa, schlong, dink, tool, big ben, Mr. Happy, Peter Pecker, pee-pee, wee-wee, wiener, pisser, pistol, piston joint, hose, horn, middle leg, third leg, meat, stick, joystick, dipstick, one-eyed wonder, junior, little head, little guy, rumple foreskin, tootsie roll, love muscle, skin flute, roto-rooter, snake, hammer, rammer, spammer, bazooka, rubber, chubby, sticky, stubby, schmeck, schmuck, schvantze, ying-yang, yang...
  • The closing Hilarious Outtakes reel in Grumpy Old Men features various different sexual euphemisms that Burgess Meredith had his character utter in different takes of the same scene. While technically not a use of this trope, the way they're edited and presented together in rapid succession gives it much the same effect.
  • Holmes & Watson: During Moriarty's trial, Watson and Holmes go through a long string of unusual euphemisms while attempting to explain to the court that the man in the dock is a masturbator. Eventually realization dawns and someone in the gallery says "Oh, he's a wanker!"
  • Beautifully subverted in The Marx Brothers' Horse Feathers, in which Groucho tries to tell Harpo that he can't burn the candle at both ends - Harpo produces a candle burning at both ends. Groucho tries another, Harpo produces, etc...
  • From Liar Liar, Fletcher Reede attempts to ask a witness a question he knows will result in a lie (and even that he has proven incapable of doing)... and finally snaps and actually badgers a confession out of his own witness:
    Fletcher: You slammed her, you dunked her donut, you gave her dog a Snausage! You stuffed her like a Thanksgiving turkey! (starts jumping up and down and making gobbling noises)
  • Mary Poppins: After losing his job, Mr. Banks exclaims, "I've been sacked! Discharged! Flung into the street!"
  • Monty Python's Life of Brian has a delightful scene wherein, upon finding out that his father was a Roman, making him onealthough... , Brian spews out a series of racist synonyms for "Jew" while arguing that he is one.
    "I'm not a Roman, mum, I'm a kike, a yid, a heebie, a hook-nose, I'm kosher mum, I'm a Red Sea pedestrian, and proud of it!"
  • Monty Python and the Holy Grail features Dennis the Anarcho-Syndicalist peasant's incredulous reaction to Arthur's claim of divine kingship.
    Dennis: Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
    Arthur: Be quiet!
    Dennis: Well, you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
    Arthur: Shut Up!
    Dennis: I mean, if I went around sayin' I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
  • In The Man Without a Face, Chuck Norstadt's mother uses one to see if Chuck has been molested—but it's clear he has no idea what she's really asking.
  • Robin Williams does this in Patch Adams to cheer up a dying patient who'd proven inconsolable, using a string of euphemisms for dying to tickle the morbid funny bone.
  • Done for dramatic effect in Philadelphia.
    Joe Miller: Are you a homosexual?... Answer the question! Are you a homo? A faggot, a punk? A queen, pillow biter, fairy? Booty snatcher? Rump roaster? ARE YOU GAY?
  • In Teen Witch, the teacher of a sex ed class holds up a rolled-up umbrella and asks the students to guess what it represents. One of them responds: "A Roger. A love one. Joystick, dong, zipper-lizard, tallywhacker, trouser-snake, schlong!"
  • Tommy Boy, Tommy walks in on Richard who's masturbating:
    Tommy: Richard! Were you watching, "Spank-tra-vision?" Maybe you were watching a movie with that funny comedian! Oh, whats his name? Buddy... Whack-it? Say! That's a pretty girl down there! Gee, I wonder if she goes out with one of the Yankees!
    Tommy: Richard... who's your favorite Little Rascal? Alfalfa? Or is it... Spanky? (snickers) Sinner...
  • Varsity Blues had this gem, set in a sex ed. class:
    Miss Davis: "Can anyone tell me a common slang term for the male erection?"
    Student: "Boner? Is boner one?"
    Miss Davis: "Yes! Boner is good, boner is very good! Moxon, how about you?"
    Jonathon "Mox" Moxon: The male erection. Pitchin' a tent, sportin' a wood, stiffie, flesh rocket, tall tommy, Mr. Morbis, the march is on, icicle has formed, Jack's magic beanstalk, rigor mortis has set in, Mr. Mushroom-head, mushroom on a stick, purple headed yogurt slinger... Oh, and Pedro."
    Miss Davis: "...Pedro?"
    Mox: "Yeah, uh huh."
  • Who Framed Roger Rabbit:
    • First...
      Dolores: It's a rotgut room. Holdover from Prohibition.
      Roger: Oh, I get it. A speakeasy, a gin mill, a hooch parlour!
    • And also:
      Roger: I didn't kill anybody, I swear! This whole thing's a set-up, a scam, a frame job!
    • Roger's prone to this:
      Roger: Jessica's the light of my life, the apple of my eye, the cream in my coffee...
      Eddie: You better start drinkin' it black, 'cause Acme's takin' the cream now.
    • Earlier, Yosemite Sam experiences a Rump Roast;
    Yosemite Sam: Mah biscuits are burnin'! Fire in the hatch! Great horny toads, that smarts!

  • Marco in Animorphs had a number of "vomit" euphemisms in one book.
    Marco: You ever notice how many different ways there are to say "throwing up"? There's vomiting, of course. Hurling. Tossing your cookies. Puking, a classic. Ralphing...There's cascading. But I prefer the terms that are more real. Like blowing chunks. Spewing your guts. Tangoing with the toilet. That's a good one. Technicolor yawn."
  • Bored of the Rings has a creature called a Thesaurus which always speaks like this.
    "Maim!" roared the monster. "Mutilate, mangle, crush. See HARM."
  • Dirty Bertie: In "Loo!", when Bertie is having a Potty Emergency, his friends Darren and Eugene tease him by saying, "Bertie needs a wee." "A piddle?" "A widdle." "A tiddle?"
  • Discworld:
    • Partial example in The Colour of Magic, where it's caused by Twoflower reading out all the synonymous alternatives suggested by his phrasebook at once.
    • In The Truth, Gaspode uses one of these to describe how angry Commander Vimes will be when he finds out William de Worde dropped a powerful scent bomb in front of Sgt. Angua: "Vimes will go round the twist. He's going to go totally Librarian-poo. He's going to invent new ways of being angry and try them out on you."
  • In The Dresden Files book Blood Rites, Harry and Murphy are discussing a porn director that Harry is working a case for. At one point he brings up the director's aversion to using breast implants in his films.
    Harry: He doesn't believe in using surgically altered... uh... You know.
    Murphy: Boobs? Jugs? Hooters? Ya-yas?
    Harry: I guess.
    Murphy: Melons? Torpedoes? Tits? Gazongas? Knockers? Ta-tas?
    Harry: Hell's bells, Murph!
  • The humor book A Guy's Guide to Dating has five full pages of euphemisms for masturbating, from "adjusting the set" to "yanking the yo-yo," and including such gems as "dating Rosie Palm and her five sisters," "being your own best friend," "sheathin' the heathen," and many others.
  • In Hidden Talents, Lucky tells Cheater not to call people "wacko" and so Cheater gives him a list of other synonyms for "crazy".
    Cheater: My mistake. [Trash isn't] wacko— he's bonkers. Or maybe he's loony. How about deranged? I like that one.
    Lucky: How'd you like to be called that?
    Cheater: I think I'd prefer insane, if you're going for technical terms. But flipped out has a nice ring to it. And let's not forget all those wonderful phrases that can be used to indicate that a mind is somewhat less that perfect: one card short of a full deck, one sandwich short of a picnic, off your rocker, out in left field- the list goes on and on.
  • In Tom Sharpe's black satire of life in apartheid South Africa, Indecent Exposure, the Nazi-inclined psychiatrist Dr von Blimenstein has to deal with a hysterical and sexually repressed Afrikaaner woman who is suffering from that common phobia, Blackcock Fever. Unable even to say the word penis, the patient resorts to euphemism as the (not) good doctor pretends ignorance: They've got such big ones. Hoo-has. Whatsits. Wibbledy wands. Pork swords. Knobs. Pee. Are. Eye. See. Kay. Spells "prick!" The root of the patient's anxiety is fear she is going to be raped when the blacks eventually rise in rebellion against apartheid combined with sexual repression. (This summarises three pages of hysterically funny dialogue on pp 172-175 of the paperback edition).
  • James and the Giant Peach: The peach gets caught up in a massive cloudburst, and a great solid mass of rainwater comes crashing down upon them, bouncing and smashing and sloshing and slashing and swashing and swirling and surging and whirling and gurgling and gushing and rushing and rushing.
  • The Kingkiller Chronicle gives us a euphemism-laden nursery rhyme, ripe with foreshadowing:
    Seven things stand before
    The entrance to the Lackless door
    One of them a ring unworn
    One a word that is forsworn
    One a time that must be right
    One a candle without light
    One a son who brings the blood
    One a door that holds the flood
    One a thing tight-held in keeping
    Then comes that with comes with sleeping
  • In Matilda, Miss Trunchbull tends to do this when ranting about this children. When she accuses Bruce Bogtrotter of stealing her cake:
    Miss Trunchbull: This clot, this blackhead, this foul carbuncle, this poisonous pustule that you see before you is none other than a disgusting criminal, a denizen of the underworld, a member of the Mafia! That robber-bandit, that safe-cracker, that highwayman standing over there with his socks around his ankles stole it and ate it!
  • In Piddler on the Roof by Paul Jennings, Weesle fears that his cousin Ralph will "Dob. Rat on me. Tell tales."
  • In The Ten PM Question, Frankie is shy about stating his friend's mother's profession (she's a sex worker), so his sister Gordana rattles off a list of words, including "hooker", "ho", and "prostitute".
  • In one of the Time Warp Trio books, every time someone tries to say they're going to throw up, another character interrupts with a different euphemism: "toss your cookies", "ride the porcelain bus", "make a sidewalk pizza"...
  • Welkin Weasels: Poynt wants Falshed to make sure a boxer he's bet against loses, and Falshed tries to start a euphemism hurricane:
    "You mean take a dive, take a fall, throw the fight—"
    "Any of those will do, so long as he makes it look good."

    Live-Action TV 
  • Almost Live!, Roscoe's Oriental Rug Emporium in the style of furniture store going out of business sale commercials.
  • In Angel, in the episode directly after Angel fires Cordelia, Wesley and Gunn.
    Cordelia: What just happened? Can someone explain to me, what just happened here?
    Wesley: I believed we were fired.
    Gunn: Canned.
    Wesley: Let go.
    Gunn: Axed.
    Wesley: Shown the door.
    Gunn: Booted.
    Cordelia: All right, I get it.
  • From The Big Bang Theory: "Does that include doing the cyber-nasty? You know, the virtual pickle-tickle, the digital Bow Chicka Wow Wow?"
  • The Bill featured Sgt. Gilmore (who was gay) in his first episode reeling off a long list of euphemisms for "gay".
  • From the Brass Eye pedophile special, with increasingly bizarre made-up euphemisms:
    Interviewer: You are a paedophile. You are a nonce. You're a perv. You're a slot badger. You're a two pin din plug. You're a bush dodger. You're a small bean regarder. You're a unabummer. You're a nut administrator. You're a bent ref. You're The Crazy World of Arthur Brown. You're a fence vole. You're a free willy. You're a chimney bottler. You're a bunty man. You're a shrub rocketeer.
    Paedophile: Yes well, you know, you've just mentioned some of the names that we have to put up with every day and it's just another form of racism.
  • Corner Gas has an episode where Wanda uses several euphemisms for jail, confusing and annoying Brent.
  • Da Ali G Show, about drugs:
    Ali: We all know that it's called the bionic, the bomb, the puff, the blow, the black, the herb, the sensie, the cronic, the sweet Mary Jane, the shit, Ganja, split, reefa, the bad, the buddha, the home grown, the ill, the maui-maui, the method, pot, lethal turbo, tie, shake, skunk, stress, whacky, weed, glaze, the boot, dimebag, Scooby Doo, bob, bogey, back yard boogie. But what is the other terms for it?
  • Some of David Letterman's Top Ten lists qualify. Example, "The Top Ten Mafia Euphemisms for Death":
    10. Checked into the Wooden Waldorf.
    9. No longer eligible for the census.
    8. Dropping both AT&T and MCI.
    7. Your highway taxes at work.
    6. Upcoming guest on 20/20.
    5. He's fallen and he can't get up.
    4. Resting his organs.
    3. McRibs (for a limited time only).
    2. Kicked the oxygen habit.
    1. Bought a Yugo.
  • Doctor Who:
    • While probably not humorous, the Sixth Doctor (played by Colin Baker) has a habit of using such streams of related terms, especially when frustrated or angry. In one Big Finish audio adventure, a character says that talking to the Doctor is "like arguing with a bloody thesaurus!"
    • Another example from the same argument in the audio:
      The Doctor: If I have to endure another insult—
      Banto Zane: Oh here we go, another voyage round the English language...
    • Which is probably a nod to the serial "The Trial of a Time Lord", which revels in thesaurus abuse.
  • Eerie, Indiana: In "Reality Takes a Holiday", Marshall learns from Dash X and the Eerie, Indiana writer José Schaefer that they intend to kill him off. When he asks what they mean when they say dead, he receives the following explanation:
    José Schaefer: I mean offed.
    Dash X: Snuffed.
    José Schaefer: Kicked the bucket.
    Dash X: Pushing up daisies.
    José Schaefer: Bought the farm.
    Dash X: Did I mention rigor mortis?
  • A sometime-catchphrase used by Steve Urkel—whenever he made what he thought what a casual declaration of something, and people replied "Whaaaa?", he would reply with a Hurricane Of Euphemisms.
  • Polly of Fawlty Towers does this to inform Basil that the new chef has gotten drunk while attempting to hide the same fact from the guests by following each euphemism with something that might reasonably be the object of said euphemism: "potted the shrimp", "soused the herrings", "pickled the onions", and "smashed the eggs". Under the table...
  • On Friends when one of Monica's prospective catering clients gets baked before coming to dinner.
    Phoebe: In the cab on the way over, Steve blazed a doobie.
    Rachel: What?!
    Phoebe: Smoked a joint, ya know, lit a bone, weed, hemp, ganja.
    Rachel: Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I know. Okay, I'm with you Cheech.
  • On Game of Thrones, when Tyrion is called to confess his crimes, he confesses that when he was twelve, "I milked my eel, I flogged the one-eyed snake, I skinned my sausage, I made the bald man cry." And he did it into his sister's stew.
  • House: Dr. House uses one of these to explain a child's odd behavior to her mother:
    House: You mix rocking, grunting, sweating, and dystonia with concerned parents and you get an amateur diagnosis of epilepsy. In actuality, all your little girl is doing is saying "yoo hoo" to the hoo-hoo.
    Mother: She's what?
    House: Marching the penguin. Ya-ya-ing the sisterhood. Finding Nemo.
    Girl: That was funny.
    House: It's called gratification disorder. Sort of a misnomer. If one was unable to gratify oneself, that would be a disorder.
    Mother: [covering the girl's ears] Are you saying she's masturbating?
    House: I was trying to be discreet. There's a child in the room!
  • The IT Crowd: Played straight, and later Metaphorgotten by Douglas: "Well, I'm the boss, head honcho, el numero uno, Mr. Big, the Godfather, Lord of the Rings, the Bourne Identity, er... Taxi Driver, Jaws... Forgot the question a while ago."
    • Also played straight with Jen trying to tell Moss that 'Aunt Irma is visiting her'. Roy finally comes up with one Moss gets.
  • Life On Mars also features Gene Hunt (who's not gay and is more like homophobic) doing a shorter, more offensive list of gay euphemisms.
  • The Lois & Clark episode "I've Got a Crush on You", when Lois is angry at Clark for revealing her cover for a story that she ended up writing herself:
    Lois: Superman for example would not have cut me out of the story by ratting on me to the opposing team. It's a good thing I got myself back into the game and scored the winning touchdown.
    Clark: Well sometimes the quarterback has to fake a throw to his primary receiver in order to free up his secondary target.
    Lois: I'm really getting tired of fumbling around with all these football metaphors.
    Clark: Me too, I pass.
    Lois: Let's drop the ball, okay?
    Clark: Okay.
  • The L Word: A truly staggering number of euphemisms for the vagina are listed by the regulars at the end of the first episode of season three, featuring such terms as "bikini biscuit", "breakfast of champions", "munch box" and probably 30 or so more.
  • One Opening Monologue of Mock the Week concerning a police officer who joined in on a couple having sex in their car straddled this and Hurricane of Puns very quickly indeed. And very well.
  • When Monk believed he had been accidentally exposed to marijuana, he spent a few minutes naming slang words for the drugs, almost all of them made up.
  • Monty Python's Flying Circus:
    • The legendary "Dead Parrot" sketch climaxes in the frustrated customer rattling off a long list of euphemisms that indicate the dead Norwegian Blue parrot is not simply "pining for the fjords".
    • Many other sketches had similar lines. John Cleese and Graham Chapman would often write sketches together, using a thesaurus to come up with many ways of saying the same thing. This was later lampshaded by Eric Idle and Graham, when, during one sketch where Eric (in drag) is naming off different ways to say "predict". A board comes down with a list of all the words he's saying, and the audience reads them off at the same time while Graham (also in drag) points to them.
      • The above sketch was written by Terry Jones and Michael Palin as a parody of the Cleese/Chapman. Terry and Michael were incredibly surprised when the group decided it was still funny enough to be filmed.
      • This was coupled with Unusual Euphemism in the "Wink Wink" sketch, including "candid photography" - at least until The Reveal that the man spouting said euphemisms is also a virgin.
    • The beginning of Cleese's eulogy for Chapman: "Graham Chapman, co-author of the 'Parrot Sketch', is no more. He has ceased to be. Bereft of life, he rests in peace. He's kicked the bucket, hopped the twig, bit the dust, snuffed it, breathed his last, and gone to meet the great Head of Light Entertainment in the sky."
  • Mystery Science Theater 3000: At the end of Episode 320 (The Unearthly), TV's Frank pesters Dr. Forrester to do his Leo Gorcey impersonation:
    Forrester: Frank, once again I'm going to have to kill you.
    Frank: You wanna run that by me one more time?
    Forrester: I'll run that by you one more time! (hitting Frank with his hat) Yeah, you know... kill... boost... ice... wax... skrag... douse... stifle... eighty-six... slip the Rosco... chill... dust... yank... toss a little kickshaw... raja...
    • Joel gets in one of these earlier in the same season, explaining his Invention Exchange for Episode 307, the Air Freshener Mobile:
      Joel: It's got bright-colored air fresheners that hang from strings, they stimulate baby's tiny brain, while the movement of the mobile activates charcoal filters, covering up the foul odor of baby's checher, ca-ca, po-po, nimbus, BM, and poopies.
      Servo: ... checher?
      Crow: ... nimbus?
    • Episode 19 of Season 5, Outlaw Of Gor, has Mike and the bots sing about the Fanservice of the movie, describing it as "Tubular Boobular Joy!"
      Trio: It's an areolagical, autoerotical, tubular, boobular joy; An exposular-regional, batchical-pouchular fun for girl and boy!
    • In episode 6-12: The Starfighters, the mid-air refuelling scenes are exploited for all the Double Entendre Mike and the Bots can wring out of them:
      Mike: Just lie back and think of England's airspace.
      Servo: Ohhh, sweet mystery of life, at least I've found yooouuu!
  • In one episode of MythBusters they attempt to see whether you can literally Polish the Turd, but they're not allowed to say the word turd, or crap, on the show. They give a Long List of the things they are allowed to call the substance in question, like "scat," "feces," "dung" and "poopies".
  • In the Psych episode "Santabarbaratown", when Shawn and Gus are interviewing someone connected to the case:
    Ida: I wanted children.
    Gus: And he didn't?
    Ida: Let's just say they weren't in the cards for him.
    Shawn: Meaning what?
    Ida: His juice had no pulp. His seed wasn't fruitful. He was pouring decaf. Pumping unleaded. His Hall had no Oates. He was sterile!
    Shawn: Oh! Sure.
  • When Sam switched places with Dr Ruth on Quantum Leap, Al took advantage of her presence in the waiting room to have a therapy session about his hangups:
    Al: More about Tina?
    Dr. Ruth: Uh-huh.
    Al: Ah — well — ummm — oh well, ha-ha-ha, she's got... great... casabas!
    Dr. Ruth: What are these... casabas?
    Al:' Well you know... melons, ho-has, honkers, hooters, headlights, ah— ta-tas? teeters, tweeters, tom-toms, tee-tees? [his face is all contorted trying to say just one word]
    Dr. Ruth: Say it!
    Al: I'm trying to say it! Meatballs, mangos, cream pies, cupcakes, eh — bangers, bouncers, bolumbas!
    Dr. Ruth: Al!
    Al: Bazongas! BREASTS! ...I said it! [with a very self-satisfied look on his face]
    Dr. Ruth: You see, it wasn't that hard.
    Al: Yes it was.
  • Queer as Folk (UK): After Stuart's preteen nephew tries to blackmail him for being gay (Stuart's parents don't know) and with false accusations of paedophilia, Stuart corners him in front of the entire family and outs himself with a long stream of euphemisms and cacophemisms for homosexuality.
    Stuart: Because I'm queer. I'm gay. I'm homosexual. I'm a poof, I'm a poofter, I'm a ponce. I'm a bumboy, batty-boy, backside artist, bugger. I'm bent. I am that arsebandit. I lift those shirts. I'm a faggot-ass, fudge-packing, shit-stabbing uphill gardener. I dine at the downstairs restaurant, I dance at the other end of the ballroom. I'm Moses and the parting of the red cheeks. I fuck and I am fucked. I suck and I am sucked. I rim them and wank them, and every single man's had the fucking time of his life. And I am not a pervert.
  • Sabrina the Teenage Witch when Zelda finds out that Morgan has been manipulating her and Hilda.
    Zelda: Hilda, we've been hoodwinked, bamboozled, led down the primrose path and shoved into a thicket of thorns.
    Hilda: Huh?
  • Saturday Night Live:
    • Wayne's World would frequently do this when discussing vomiting, including in the movie.
    • One SNL sketch had series regular Randy Quaid trying to tell Pee-Wee Herman that he needs to get a prostitute, without coming out and saying it:
      Randy: Well...they wear lots of makeup...
      Pee-Wee: Clowns!
      Randy: No...let's just say you'd be embarrassed to be seen with one...
      Pee-Wee: [nodding gravely] Mimes!
This goes on for a while until Pee-Wee finally says "Well, I don't get it; maybe you should just go see a hooker!"
  • Sesame Street:
    • When Ruthie pretends to be angry for Oscar in an episode, she says lots of synonyms for "angry".
      Ruthie: Oh, oh! You've made me so angry! You make me so furious!! You make me so mad! Stewed! Oh, I am enraged!! I am steamed! Oscar, Oscar, I am so sore at you I am blowing my top!!
      Oscar: I think she's swallowed a dictionary here.
      Ruthie: Oh! Oh, Oscar, I'm losing my temper! I mean I am really fuming! Oh, ooh, I am boiling mad! I am also peeved and I am irked!! Oscar, I am seething!!!
      Oscar: Yeah, but are you angry?
      Zoe: Yes, yes, she is.
    • In "Elmo's Potty Time", a crowd of children says various names for human waste, including "pee-pee", "tinkle", "pee", "wee-wee", "widdle", "piddle", "pee-pee-pee-pee", and "urinate" for number one, and "doo", "poopie", "poopa", "poo-poo", "dookie", "caca", and "doodie" for number two.
  • In Scrubs, episode "My Brother, Where Art Thou?" (03x05) J.D. asks Dr. Cox for a favor. Reply is:
    Good God in heaven, Newbie. There are just so very many ways for me to say this to you: Never. Not in a million years. Absolutely not. No way, Jose. No chance, Lance. Nyet. Negatori. Mm-mm. Nuh-uh. Uh-uh. And of course, my own personal favorite of all time, man falling off of a cliff. Noooooooooo!
  • Seinfeld came in for some controversy with one of these when Elaine's boss J. Peterman talked about an employee with an addiction to opium ("the yam-yam"): "He's back on the horse, Elaine. Smack. White palace. The Chinaman's nightcap." The last-named euphemism was edited out in syndication after complaints from the Asian-American community.
  • Skins:
    • Naomi and Katie do this for lesbianism in front of Emily. It's a rather awkward and painful sequence, as Katie thinks Naomi's gay (she's not - certainly at the time, and even by the end of the series she doesn't get past "confused"), while Naomi strongly (and rightly) suspects that Emily actually is gay, and Emily is nursing an epic crush on Naomi (which Naomi knows about, and isn't exactly pleased with until a couple of episodes later).
      Naomi: So, Katie, you gonna be nice to me now we're Twister pals? I promise not to grab your minge and everything.
      Katie: Okay, ha ha. Hands off the muff and we're sorted.
      Naomi: Gotcha. No buffing the beaver.
      Katie: No groping the growler.
      Naomi: Don't tickle on my tinkle.
      Katie: Okay, I won't fluff up your flange.
      Emily: * hurt* You done?
      Katie: Yep. We're double done with the DNA dump.
    • The autistic JJ also tends to launch into one of these whenever he gets locked on.
  • Sleuth 101: In "Delete Cache", Detective Claire Hooper asks Torben about his comment that "Cache would be taken care of", and he admits that he was planning to fire him that week. "He was gonna be... eighty sixed. He was gonna be fired. I was gonna fire him. I was gonna let him go. I was gonna put him out to pasture. I was gonna show him the keys to the door. I was gonna give him his pink slip. I was gonna show him the exit." He interrupts Claire twice during this.
  • Stargate SG-1:
    • Jack O'Neill describing his declining mental state in "Window of Opportunity", saying, "Lose it. It means, go crazy... nuts... insane... bonzo... no longer in possessions of one's faculties... three fries short of a Happy Meal... WACKO!" Along with a fantastic illustration.
    • Jack does this again a few seasons later after he downloads an alien database into his head. From previous experience, they know what to anticipate if they don't manage to get him somewhere that it can be removed from his brain before it's too late:
      Samantha Carter: And then it will overwhelm his nervous system and the colonel will...
      Jack O'Neill: What? Meet my maker? Pay the piper? Reach the pearly gates? Start pushing up daisies here and there?
  • Data was known to do this in earlier seasons of Star Trek: The Next Generation.
    Guinan: That's it, isn't it? You don't have any idea what a joke is.
    Data: Of course I do. It is a witticism, a gag, a bon mot, a fluctuation of words which concludes with a "trick" ending, it is...
    • As does fellow robot Kryten in Red Dwarf, especially when annoyed.
  • The closing narrative for The Twilight Zone (1959) episode "Four O'Clock" features a string of euphemisms for Laser-Guided Karma:
    "At four o'clock, an evil man made his bed and lay in it, a pot called a kettle black, a stone-thrower broke the windows of his glass house. You look for this one under 'F' for fanatic, and 'J' for the Twilight Zone."
  • The whole point of the Whose Line Is It Anyway? game "If You Know What I Mean" is to make as many Lampshaded Double Entendres as possible referencing a given subject, like hotels or weightlifting. It tends to end when the euphemisms start to become too vulgar or just nonsensical.
  • In Who's the Boss?, Tony and Sam's grandfather are discussing the latter's incarceration, describing it as "Jail, the slammer, the big house, the joint."
  • Worzel Gummidge: In one episode, Pickles Bramble fires a slingshot at Mrs. Bloomsbury-Barton's butt, and she claims that she's been "Molested! Assaulted! Shot!".

  • Older Than Steam: the Elizabethan song "My Thing Is My Own" relates the words of a young maiden who is propositioned by men from all walks of life and and uses the language of the occupation of each to paraphrase his or her private parts like thus: A fine man of law did come out of the Strand To plead his own cause, with his fee in his hand. He made a brave motion, but that would not do. For I did dismiss him, and non-suit him too! A fine dapper tailor, with a yard in his hand, Did proffer his service to be at command. He talked of a slit I had above knee: But I'll have no tailors to stitch it for me!
  • "Pound Sign #?* !" as sung by Kevin Fowler is an example of this. The whole song basically lists euphemisms for curse words the narrator is no longer allowed to say now that he has small children at home.
  • Rihanna's "Shut Up And Drive" is basically a massive amalgam of sexual innuendos spun into the language of cars and driving.
  • Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back" is basically a Hurricane Of Euphemisms, though he has the advantage in that he's not always describing a woman's backside.
  • Singer Voltaire's "Sexy Data Tango" is one long string of Unusual Euphemisms for sex and the sexual organs, including "cause a quantum singularity in your transwarp conduit" and "his Defiant, with all its thrusters, will explode in your wormhole".
  • Roy Zimmerman's song "Firing the Surgeon General" is a Hurricane Of Euphemisms for masturbation. (The title is a reference to Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders, who was fired after proposing that frank discussion of the topic should be part of sex education.)
  • A verse of the song "Bring On The Men" from Jerkyll and Hyde is made of this.
  • "The Bad Touch" by The Bloodhound Gang. That is all.
    • In the same vein, by the same artist, "Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo". It contains some of the most... interesting sex euphemisms you'll hear.
      • ..."Squishmitten?"
  • 99 Words For Boobs
  • Working Where the Sun Don't Shine (The Colorectal Surgeon's Song)
  • The "Not Noël Coward Song" from Monty Python's The Meaning of Life is another Hurricane Of Euphemisms for the same organ.
    Eric Idle as A Guy Who Is Totally Not Supposed to Be Noel Coward:
    Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis
    Isn't it frightfully good to own a dong
    It's swell to have a stiffy, it's divine to own a dick
    from the tiniest little tadger to the world's biggest prick!
    So three cheers for your willy or John Thomas
    Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake
    Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend, your percy or your cock
    You can wrap it up in ribbons or you can stick it in your sock
    But don't take it out in public or they'll put you in the dock
    And you won't a-come a-back.
  • Sledgehammer by Peter Gabriel. The entire song is made of euphemisms.
  • The Barenaked Ladies have some fun with this in the aptly titled "Crazy":
    The lights are on but nobody's home, my elevator doesn't go to the top
    I'm not playing with a full deck, I've lost my marbles...
    I'm a few bricks short of a load but then a full load always hurt my back
    I flew over the cuckoo's nest and I'm never ever coming back...
  • Queen's "I'm Going Slightly Mad" is filled with euphemisms for insanity in particular, the AIDS-related dementia Freddie Mercury was going through at the time.
  • "Hide the Sausage" by Ivor Biggun is almost entirely composed of euphemisms for "penis" and "sexual relations", many of which are rather silly.
  • Jellyfish's "He's My Best Friend" is one for the narrator's private parts along with masturbation. Singer/songwriter/drummer Andy Sturmer said in an interview that the song was stylistically the band's "love letter to Harry Nilsson".
    • "Hypocrite, four-flusher, snake in the grass, just a swindler, a wolf in sheep's clothing... LIAR!" — "All Is Forgiven"
    • Jellyfish splinter act The Lickerish Quartet continue this tradition with "Fadoodle", entirely consisting of a string of pre-20th century euphemisms for sexual intercourse.
  • Lady Antebellum's oral sex song "Downtown" contains all kinds of euphemisms for female genitalia including "downtown", "door" and "uh-uh" which is also a slang term for sexual intercourse. The video also contains references to "donuts" and "sprinkles".
    • At the 1:52 mark, Hillary Scott points to her crotch when she sings the line "I'm only counting on your cancellation, when I should be counting on you at my door" when she sings it live at the 2013 American Country Music Awards.
  • Blue Man Group's "Shake Your Euphemism" is a song dedicated to listing off different terms for the buttocks. Some of them are... kind of weird.
  • In "House of Fun" by Madness, the song's narrator, attempting to buy condoms in anticipation of losing his virginity on his sixteenth birthday note , asks for "a box of balloons with the featherlight touch", "pack of party-poppers that pop in the night" and "a pack of party hats with the coloured tips". The bemused assistant responds "This is a chemist, not a joke shop".
  • Songdrops: In "The Day You Told Me Your Name", the singer never heard his girlfriend's name, so instead, he calls her a variety of Affectionate Nicknames from his "baby" to his "snugglicious cuddle blossom".
  • "Drinkin' On The Job" by The Rainmakers features numerous occupation-related euphemisms for being drunk — i.e., "The garbageman got trashed, the janitor got messy" — and the final verse adds a related theme:
    The terrorist got bombed
    The president got hit
    Security was tight
    The Secret Service got lit
  • The first verse of "The Cuppy Cake Song" goes, "You're my honey bunch, sugar plum, pumpie-umpie-umpkin, you're my sweetie-pie. You're my cuppy-cake, gumdrop, shnookums-boogums, you're the apple of my eye".
  • The Stupendium's "Vending Machine of Love" is four minutes of constant innuendos for porn and OnlyFans, done in the style of talking about a vending machine and the word "cans".
    Now you’ve seen other paysite galleries
    But none of those girls taste like raspberries
    So if you think we’re just some obscene cannery
    All our cans are over eighteen calories

    Pro Wrestling 
  • After an infamous Raw match from the tail end of 1997 where Triple H and Shawn Michaels put on a complete mockery of a European title match (really just a gag on Commissioner Slaughter), commentator Jim Cornette responds thusly:
    Jim: It was a ruse! A ploy, a plot, a plan, a charade, a conspiracy, a sham! We've been conned, hoodwinked, bamboozled, flimflammed, had the wool pulled over our eyes, even!!

    Puppet Shows 
  • The Muppets:
    • In The Muppet Movie, when the Muppets see a motorcycle cop that turns out to be Doc Hopper's assistant Max.
      Dr. Teeth: It's the man with the badge, the PO-lice, the cops, the fuzz, the P-I...
      Miss Piggy: Don't you dare!
    • In The Great Muppet Caper, when Piggy's been wrongfully imprisoned. (She used "cooler" and "stir" earlier in the conversation, which established that she'd been locked up for 45 minutes.)
      Miss Piggy: Great. I'll be stuck in the big house for life.
      Kermit: "Big house"? Is that prison talk?
      Miss Piggy: Yeah, big house, squealer, slammer. That's the lingo we use here in the joint.

  • A John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme skit had someone warning John that his new employee was, well, John never figured that out, but euphemisms for it included "He parts his hair in the middle" and "He wouldn't thank you for punching him in the face", among many others. John said he wouldn't thank someone for punching him in the face either, and the other guy said that in that case, he was sure they'd get on very well. About the only thing John could confirm was that the person being talked about wasn't gay.
  • On a certain 30s episode of the Kraft Music Hall pianist Rudolph Ganz tried to be as precise as possible when translating the title of a Claude Debussy piece.
    Rudolph Ganz: "Port of the Wine," or "Door to the Wine," or tavern, or inn—
    Bob Burns: Or gin-mill.
  • The Now Show had a skit about the fact English has more euphemisms for penis than any other language. Hugh then goes through all of them. Twice.

    Tabletop Games 
  • The Munchkin expansion deck Munchkin Bites! has a monster with the Punny Name "Thesaurus":
    Will not pursue, chase, follow, track, shadow or ferret out anyone of level 5 or below.
    Bad Stuff [if it beats you]: You are dead, deceased, departed, defunct, lifeless, perished, moribund and exanimate.

  • Lampshaded in The Complete History Of America Abridged:
    Flush: I got you now, Diamond! You're dead meat. Your butt is mine. Your ass is grass. Your keister's cooked! Your heinie's history!
    Spade: Calm down, Flush. I don't have time for a long list of rump references.
  • In the Cole Porter musical Du Barry Was A Lady, Du Barry and Louie have a duet that is literally NOTHING BUT this trope. For verse after verse.
    "Are you fond of poker, dear? Kindly tell me if so."
    "Yes, I'm fond of poker, dear... but in the morning, no."
    "Do you ante up, my dear? Kindly tell me if so."
    "Yes, I ante up, my dear...but in the morning, no."
    "Can you fill an inside straight? Kindly tell me if so."
    "I've filled plenty inside straight... but in the morning, no."
  • In Fröken Fleggmans mustasch the death of one of the characters is greeted by a series of these by three of the other characters. Each time one of them uses a euphemism for dying the others respond "What?", as if not understanding what it means. In the end another character says "He is dead", to which they all respond "What?!" in great surprise. (The whole thing runs on Rule of Funny.)
  • Older Than Steam: In The Merchant of Venice, Launcelot Gobbo uses a few unusual euphemisms to imply that his father was unchaste: "...for indeed, my father did something smack, something grow to, he had a kind of taste..."
  • Matilda: When the eponymous girl is born, her stupid father mistakes her for a boy and asks where her "thingie" is. When the doctor doesn't understand, Mr. Wormwood says, "His thingie! His whatsamacallit. His whojamaflip. His doo-dah."

    Video Games 
  • In Disco Elysium, when Idiot Doom Spiral tells the tale of a famous graphic designer, he will mention that crucial part of the story is that the designer, like most people in his field, was hopelessly addicted to "nose candy". You can ask him to clarify, triggering a bit in which he, your partner Kim, and your Encyclopedia skill all chime in with different euphemisms, until Electrochemistry gets impatient.
    Electrochemistry: HE'S TALKING ABOUT COCAINE.
  • Octa of Drakengard 3 is a walking, talking, spell-casting font of euphemisms for sexual intercourse and the organs typically involved, especially his own. He never once actually says what he's talking about, but trust us: you'll know.
  • Dragon Age: Origins:
    • If the female PC romances Alistair, one of Oghren's party banter conversations with Alistair in the party goes like this:
      Oghren: So. With the boss, aye?
      Alistair: Pardon?
      Oghren: You and the boss. Rolling your oats.
      Alistair: I don't know—
      Oghren: Polishing the footstones.
      Alistair: —what you're—
      Oghren: Tapping the midnight still, if you will.
      Alistair: What are you going on about?
      Oghren: Forging the moaning statue. Bucking the forbidden horse. Donning the velvet hat.
      Alistair: Are you just making these up right now?
      Oghren: Nope. Been saving 'em.
    • Isabela's banter in Dragon Age II is full of these, especially with Merrill and Aveline.
      Isabela: So. How good is Donnic? Is he "cocksure"?
      Aveline: Just... get it out of your system.
      Isabela: Did he "curl your toes?", "dwarf your beard?", "Arl your Emon?", "caress your kitty?", "established his canon?", "put it in your peach?", "mastered your taint?", "satisfied the demands of your Qun?", or did he "cup your joining?"
      Aveline: Yes, all right, he's an incredibly proficient lover. Happy?
      Isabela: Well, that's rather personal, don't you think?
    • Also from Dragon Age II, there's one advertisement for an apothecary received by mail:
      Feeling inadequate? Flag flying at half-mast? Does your soldier not stand to attention? Does your dwarf shy away from the Deep Roads? Come to Jorman's Apothecary and ask for our Special Sauce.
  • In Kingdom of Loathing, the monsters found at The Hole in the Sky are all constellations, mostly named after euphemisms for genitalia, because the Astronomers of the Times of Old were all incredibly immature. Potential opponents include The Burrowing Bishop, The Family Jewels, The Hooded Warrior, The Junk, One-Eyed Willie, The Pork Sword, The Skinflute, The Trouser Snake, The Twig and Berries, The Axe Wound, The Beaver, The Box, The Bush, The Camel's Toe, The Flange, The Honey Pot, The Little Man in the Canoe, and The Muff. The only monster than doesn't fit this theme is The Astronomer, because the Astronomers of the Times of Old were also incredibly egotistical.
  • In The Outer Worlds in the "Murder on Eridanos" DLC when questioning Blackhole Bertie.
    The Unplanned Variable: What were you doing the night Helen died?
    Blackhole Bertie: I was getting blotto with the rest of the rangers.
    The Unplanned Varible: What?
    Blackhole Bertie: You know.. soaked. Muddeled. Preserved.
    (If Nyoka is in the party)
    Nyoka: Blootered. Half-shot. Void-lush. "On the Byzatine Swizzle". Starry. One-bit down, three bits up. Spread across the Spectrum. Top-heavy. Should I go on?
    The Unplanned Varible: What?
    Nyoka: Drunk, Captain.
  • Saints Row itself is practically a Hurricane Of Euphemisms for various sex-related subjects, but the most concentrated form is the radio-commercials for Freckle Bitches' (a fast-food chain that combines features of McDonalds and Wendy's), who expounds on their various menus including their large trademark burger, "The Fist", a two-burger menu called "The Twins", and their kiddie-meals, the Funbags, who comes with two jugs of your favorite juices, and a surprise — this week, for the girls, it's a genuine pearl necklace!
  • Mara of Shin Megami Tensei games is extremely fond of this. Unsurprisingly, it all has to do with his unusual shape.
  • Famously delivered in Total Distortion's Game Over song, rubbing in the fact that you've died as much as humanly possible.

    Web Animation 

  • The Order of the Stick:
  • Questionable Content:
    • In strip number 1779, Tai (who is a lesbian, and attracted to Marten's girlfriend Dora) has just shared with Marten her realization that she would not be able to bring herself to hook up with Dora even if Dora and Marten were to break up first. Not so much out of respect for her friendship with Marten, as because she wouldn't want to lick Dora's private parts while knowing that Marten had previously ejaculated there. Marten tells Tai that it's not like Dora is dripping his "happy-batter" everywhere she goes.
      Tai: "Happy-batter?" Seriously?
      Marten: Yeah, you know. My joy-juice. My glee-gloop. My euphoria fluid.
      Tai: Agh! Stop! Enough already!
    • In strip number 4555, Marten's mischievous robot buddy Pintsize has just gotten a more lifelike humanoid body, and is bothered by how he feels inhibited from acting and speaking as crudely as he did before. When the rather bosomy Willow says it was nice meeting him, he tries to answer with, "And it was nice meeting YOUR TITS," except he gets stuck on "TI—" without being able to say the rest. Some alternatives, "Your ju—" and "Your baz—", also stick in his throat, causing him much consternation. Willow giggles that she's going to start calling breasts "Tijubas".
    • In #4769, Roko has dressed up for a night out, but has yet to reveal her outfit. Talking through the door to Beeps, she rattles off a string of descriptions implying that her dress is very short.
      Roko: I feel like if I had a dad he wouldn't let me leave the house like this. If Nelson had come with us he'd have to wear a wide-brim hat to preserve our working relationship. If I bend even slightly forward everyone will know it's animal-print underwear day and my favorite primate is the lemur. No one is going to ask if my legs go all the way up because it is abundantly clear where they join my torso. This dress was outcompeted for food by its other, larger nestmates. This dress isn't allowed on most amusement park rides. This dress has not been evaluated by the FDA and is not intended to provide adequate raiment. This dress is abridged.
  • In Sluggy Freelance, when someone's trying to tell to Bun-bun that he has to deliberately lose, a concept he has difficulty grasping since he normally never gives up.
    "You give up the ranch. Blow a bundle. Take a dive. Vote Nader. Down the tubes. In the drink. Sing lead for Van Halen. It's all over but the crying. Stick your head up a..."
    Bun-bun: No, really, what are you trying to say?
  • The webcomic The Suburban Jungle:
    "You're not interested in me at all?"
    "Look, Leona, I'm gay, alright? A poofter. A complete nancy. In the game of love, I'm batting for the other team. I'm queerer than a three-dollar bill and a bigger fairy than Tinkerbell. I am, in short, totally ginger."
    "Ha! Why don't you just admit it?"
    "I thought I just did ...?"
    "You're in love with Tiffany Tiger, aren't you?"
    "Are you crazy? Is that your problem?"
  • xkcd: In strip #1864 "City Nicknames," Black Hat Guy reels off endless, completely made-up nicknames for St. Louis ("The Winged City. The Golden Trombone. Castleopolis. The Kissing Kingdom. Sandland. The High Place. Ol' Ironhook. ...")

    Web Original 
  • Professional Wrestling website Cageside Seats had a four-part review of Chyna's latest foray into wrestling, "Chyna is Queen of the Ring", which is filled to the brim with euphemisms and puns.
    • The same writer later reviewed her She-Hulk adaptation, where "Jennifer Walters showed that she really knows how to expertly use her mouth to bypass legal boundaries".
  • This article combines this trope and Stealth Pun throughout.
  • The Protectors of the Plot Continuum provide the Gay Weasel Sketch, taking cues from the Monty Python example.
    "He's GAY, Drake! And I don't mean in the jovial sense! Queer as a three-dollar bill, bent as a threp'ny bit, camper than a row of tents, a bigger fairy than Tinkerbell, and gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide! Fag, fruit, invert, mariposa, call it what you will! H-O-M-O-S-E-X-U-A-L! He is, in short, totally ginger! Do you get it or would you like us to explain with a sock puppet show?!"
  • Seanbaby: Temptation Beach vs. a Book About Retarded People features the book "Common Sense Not Needed" by Corrie ten Boom, which discusses the author's experiences preaching Christianity to developmentally disabled people in Nazi-occupied Europe, and in the process uses a broad variety of terms for "developmentally disabled":
    The other important theme of the book is having lots and lots of different ways to call someone stupid. Such as mentally retarded, abnormal, feeble-minded, creature, imbecilic, and my new favorite: subnormal.
  • SF Debris comes up with a Japan-themed one of these for one scene in Gojira, including sexually-charged references to katanas, cherry blossoms, several foodstuffs and Toyota.

    Web Videos 
  • The Angry Video Game Nerd goes into a tirade when he pronounces Seaman as "semen" twice.
    Nerd: Aw, no, no, no, no, no, no! It's "Seaman!" SEA! MAN! Not semen. As in jizz! Splooge! Man bazooka juice!
  • Board James has one in the Mr. Bucket episode, when the bucket himself threatens to suck James's balls.
    Mr. Bucket: I wanna suck on your balls!
    James (throwing plastic balls): You mean plastic balls! These kind!
    Mr. Bucket: No, I mean balls! Testicles! Scrotum! Gonads! Family jewels! Bollocks! Cojones! Balls!
  • Buzzfeed: In "When the Doctor Needs to See Your Penis", the doctor says a list of strange euphemisms when explaining he wants to examine Justin's penis, including "cradle your ladle", "berry-picking season", and "going down under".
  • The humorous self-help video "How to Hide an Unwanted Erection" uses a lot of euphemisms, and ends like this: "Congratulations. You've tamed your trouser snake. Your love gun is firmly in its holster. Excalibur is back in its scabbard. Now you can approach any situation with confidence, safe in the knowledge that no one will be able to see your big, fat, throbbing penis."
  • One of the fake failed scenes of Huerfanos Electronicos (a Spin-Off of Calico Electronico) have Captain Torpedo saying a lot of the existing euphemisms for "penis" found in the spanish language.
  • Matthew Santoro:
    • In The Best Worst Pick Up Lines, Matt lists some pick-up lines which he says might work for his viewers. He gives the disclaimer, "Warning- these pick up lines may not result in you getting any of the: Punani, Poon-tang, Pink Taco, Gut Locker, Meat Purse, Fur Burger, Bearded Clam, Wizard's Sleeve, Yogurt Pot, Clown's Pocket, Hippo's Yawn, Harry Potter, Pooter, Snack that Smiles Back, Whisker Biscuit, Beef Curtain, Squish Mitten, or the Pink Velvet Sausage Wallet."
    • In his "worst jobs" video, Matt mentions the sperm bank janitor, who picks up after people who are answering the bone phone, playing backstroke roulette, bludgeoning the beef steak, choking Charlie till he throws up, discharging dishonorably, playing the skin flute solo, doing the five-finger knuckle shuffle, participating in hand-to-gland combat, jerking the gherkin, jacking the beanstalk, milking the monkey, paddling the pickle, shining their helmet, playing tug-of-war with Cyclops, and/or whipping the dripper.
  • When J's boss in Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl is going on vacation: "I want to know why the caged bird sings, I want to get my groove back, and I want the rainbow to be enuf. E-N-U-F." (the boss is known for her attempts to act black).
  • In Musical Hell and Archer's crossover review of Disco Worms, Diva goes on a rant about the worms with boobs containing nearly every synonym of "breasts".
    Diva: I mean these characters are creepy enough without you sticking gazongas on them! And I understand that sweater puppies are the usual visual shorthand for females even on non-mammalian cartoon animals, but come on! Nobody wants to see worm ta-tas! Nobody! Not to mention how uncomfortable it would be to go crawling around on your belly with your funbags in the way. It looks wrong! It feels wrong! It's logistically ridiculous! And you should have scrapped this entire movie the minute someone decided "hey, let's put some chest bongos on an invertebrate!"
  • The Nostalgia Critic:
    • The Critic lets loose the Monty Python set on the page quote describing Johnny's death at the end of The Room (2003).
    • Chester A. Bum's review of Red Riding Hood has this:
      Chester A. Bum: They just cut to the credits before anything else happened. What do you think they're doing!? She's taking off his sheep's clothing! He's riding her hood! She's blowing his house down! The better to eat her with! She's taking him to grandma's house! He's checking under her hood! Holy smokes, I could make a book of these.
  • Oxventure: In the episode "Heir Superiority", the party meets a sandwich salesman who has recently invented a new type of dish, but doesn't quite know what to call it yet. For the rest of the episode, everyone keeps coming up with increasingly bizarre new ways to describe a hot dog.
    Salesman: Who wants to buy a hot sausage in a bun? Who wants a wiener in a roll? A meat cylinder in a long bread?
  • In the SuperMarioLogan episode "The 1UP!", Mario visits his dying grandfather Harold, who unloads some euphemisms for death... among other things.
    Harold: Mario, I'm dying. I'm kicking the bucket. I'm buying the farm. I'm choking the chicken. I'm flicking the bean. I'm spanking the monkey. Huh, I'm just straight-up masturbating, Mario. For real though, I am dying.

    Western Animation 
  • Used by two trolls in the Adventures of the Gummi Bears episode, "A Tree Grows In Dunwyn" after Gruffi tells them that the tree that contained the trolls' treasure was taken to the castle:
    Troll #1: Not the castle!
    Troll #2: We can't go back there!
    Troll #1: Jail!
    Troll #2: Prison!
    Troll #1: The cooler!
    Troll #2: The hoosegow!
    Troll #1: The pen!
    Troll #2: The slammer!
  • This trope resulted in a bit of controversy in American Dad! episode Don't Look a Smith Horse in the Mouth.
    Roger: You're gonna have to do the horse chores...You have to brush the horse's coat and mane, water and feed it, then give it a full release. You know, give it a happy photo finish. Take the glue out of the factory. Spank his front butt. Grant him a bone loan!
  • Beetlejuice: In "It's a Big, Big, Big, Big Ape", after Captain Kidder tells our heroes about the giant performing ape, BJ proceeds to list off a string of euphemisms for dying as Captain Kidder "croaks", complete with literal interpretations of those euphemisms. Of course, Kidder's not really dead because, as Ginger points out, "This is a family show!"
  • Code Monkeys: in the first episode of the second season, several characters must recite several euphamisms for marijuana while successfully passing a hacky sack around, or risk burning to death. (It Makes Sense in Context.)
    Dave: Okay, people. Let's go! Marijuana, Mary Jane, green, kind, dope, stank, skunk!
    Jerry: Indica, sense, pot, grass, bud, ganja, bongload, doobage!
    Dave: Gak, dank, troll, sniper, jolly green banana!
    Jerry: Viet Chong, Congolese crippler, warlock, short bus biofuel, Tom Bombadil, red-headed stepchild!
    Mary: Riddler, jungle fungus, Cro-Magnon, Vancouver salad, Topanga brain gank, short-term what?
    Benny: Polynesian brush fire, G.E.D. test prep, Polynesian pinkeye, Incredible Hulk—take it, Dave!
    Dave: Getting there... Manchurian candy, hobo harvest, Mojave drymouth, Solvin Heston, chinstrap...
    Jerry: Cambodian ball gag!
    Dave: And Arabian crime because it gets you so stoned! We did it!
  • Drawn Together:
    Ling-Ling: Please to show me bleasts?
    Xandir: What?
    Ling-Ling: Bleasts! Bleasts! You know, merrons, headrights, hootels, flied eggs, cleam puffs?
    Xandir: What?
    Ling-Ling: I said TAKE OFF SHIRT!
  • Family Guy:
    • Also done in the "Blue Harvest" episode. In a cut scene, Stewie, playing the part of Darth Vader, remarks on the "foul stench" line from Leia (Lois).
      Stewie: Uh, sorry. That's me. I made a Darth Doodie. I Sithed my pants. My diaper's gone over to the dark side. I got pages of these, I could go on.
    • In "Quagmire's Dad", Quagmire isn't convinced that his father is gay, but hearing these statements from his father's Navy buddies doesn't reassure him.
      It's great to see ya back in your element tonight, surrounded by sea-men.
      Your dad was very brave back in south east Asia. He flew supplies in where others wouldn't dare to go. I can't tell you how many loads your dad took when I served with him.
      He'd walk into an army barrack and make every private there feel important. Yeah, he just knew how to stroke those privates.
      Your dad was cock of the walk, Glenn.
      Everyday at rifle training, he'd help me clean my butt.
      Your dad once drank me under the table.
      If there's one man you wanted in your hole, it was your dad.
      Your dad had the best penis in the military.
      Quagmire: Okay! Stop! Stop! Everybody just stop!
    • In "Pawtucket Pete", Peter complains to his friends when Brian replaces him as Pawtucket Patriot Ale's mascot while he's been reduced to playing his dumb sidekick. We don't get to hear the entire rant, as it's interrupted by a look into a bored Joe's fantasies.
      Peter: I doubt any of you can begin to know what it's like to ride someone's coattails! To play second fiddle to some fat idiot! To constantly be setting up someone else's...
      (Joe zones out and imagines himself starring in "The Joe Show" before cutting back to reality)
      Peter: ...Just a footnote to someone else's narrative! I tell ya, this sucks worse than being a monkey at Coachella.
  • A Running Gag in the Garfield and Friends episode Sly Spy Guy:
    W: That is it! I have had enough! Enough, I say! You, Double-Oh-Orson are fired!
    Double-Oh-Orson: Fired?
    W: Fired! Washed up, kaput, forcibly resigned, dismissed, discharged, you're out of here!
    The Weasel: Mr. Pinfeather, I have seen it with my own eyes! Double-Oh-Orson has been fired!
    Pinfeather: Fired?
    The Weasel: Fired! Axed, dismissed, let go, done!
    Pinfeather: Agent Double-Oh-Orson has been fired.
    Madame Lanolin: Fired?
    Pinfeather: Fired! Ousted, suspended, shelled, displaced!
    Pinfeather: I am so sorry to hear that you have been fired.
    Double-Oh-Orson: Fired?
    Pinfeather: Fired! Banished, bounced, defected, drummed out!
  • In the Goofy short "No Smoking", Goofy can't resit the urge to smoke and begs a man for some tobacco.
    Goofy: Hey, mister! You got a cig? A fag? A pipe? Nail? Weed? Rope? Or chaw? Or cigar? Or snuff? Or... or anything?! Just ANYTHING!
  • In the Hey Arnold! episode "Old Iron Man" with Grandpa Phil and his lifelong friend / rival Jimmy Kafka as they're both about to drown while competing in the titular senior citizens' triathlon:
    Grandpa: This is it Jimmy. The end. We're going to Davy Jone's Locker.
    Jimmy: Kicking the bucket.
    Grandpa: Buying the water farm.
    Jimmy: Checking out of the hotel of life.
    Grandpa: And checking into the hotel of death.
    Jimmy: The big round up.
    Grandpa: The last tango in Paris.
    Jimmy: "Last tango in Paris?" That's not an euphemism for dying.
    Grandpa: I know but it was my turn and I ran out of euphemisms and I didn't want to lose the game.
  • In the House of Mouse episode, "Big House Mickey", when Mickey goes to jail, he calls Goofy to come and help him out of the big house.
    Mickey: What took you so long?
    Goofy: Well, I went down to the big house and you weren't there. So I looked for ya over at the hoosegow and couldn't find ya. Then I tried the pokey, the pen, the prison, the cooler, the gulag, the brig, the can, the clink, the lockup, the rock, the convict castle, the criminal condo and even the grey bar hotel. Why didn't ya just tell me you were in jail?
  • In the Looney Tunes short, "Hollywood Daffy", after Daffy Duck ruins a director's film by pasting together different films together, the producer who watches it ends up liking it.
    Producer: Amazing! Marvelous! Stupendous! Colossal! Tremendous! Gigantic! Astounding! Unbelievable! Spectacular! Phenomenal! And it's good too.
  • In The Looney Tunes Show, Daffy panics when he and Bugs get thrown in jail:
    "We're up the river! Down the creek! There's no 'i' in 'team'! You have to fight for your right to party!
  • MOOOOOOJO JOJO, antagonist of The Powerpuff Girls, is known for this. It's sort of a Verbal Tic and it's notoriously difficult to translate.
  • In the Rocket Power episode "The Night Before," when Officer Shirley delivers a warning that anyone caught out past curfew on "mischief night" will be locked up in jail, she uses numerous slang words for it...
    Shirley: So remember, citizens of Ocean Shores: Anyone caught outside on "mischief night" will spend the rest of the night inside a cell in the pokey, the hoosegow, the iron bar hotel, the big house, JAIL!
  • In She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, specifically She Ra And The Princesses Of Power S 1 E 09 No Princess Left Behind, the princesses - blaming themselves for the apparent death of Entrapta - do this so they can Never Say "Die".
  • The Simpsons:
    • Done in an episode where Homer goes to a power convention with his coworker Mindy. At their hotel, the Bellhop says a bunch of words, onomatopoeia, and other sounds to hint that Homer and Mindy are going to have sex.
    • This was done in an old Tracey Ullman short "The Funeral", when Bart explains to Lisa what "passed away" means.
      Bart: You know, kicked the bucket. Pulled the croak chain. Had a meeting with old Mr. Grim. The...
      Homer: BART!
      Bart: The dude died.
    • In "This Little Wiggy" when Bart, Ralph, Jimbo, Kearney, Dolph and Nelson arrive at a condemend prison:
    Bart: Here she is- the big house. The stony lonesome. The thug jug. The mobster trap. Penn State. The old crook-
    Nelson: Shut up. Let's just open the gate.
  • From the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Nasty Patty"
    Mr. Krabs: We've been duped!
    SpongeBob: Duped!
    Mr. Krabs: Bamboozled!
    SpongeBob: We've been smeckledorfed!
    Mr. Krabs: That's not even a word and I agree with ya!
  • Tiny Toon Adventures:
    • The end of the first short of 'The Acme Acres Zone' Episode, 'A Walk on the Flip Side', has this:
      Buster: Portrait of a spoiled brat getting a dose of his own medicine; hoisted by his own petard; receiving his just desserts; finding himself behind the 8 ball.
      Monty: You don't have to rub it in.
    • In "Return to the Acme Acres Zone":
      Babs: So you're a detective. A shamus. A sleuth. A P.I. A peeper.
      Buster: And you must be a thesaurus.

    Real Life 
  • Benjamin Franklin's "Drinker's Dictionary" (published in 1737) lists dozens of euphemisms for being drunk.
    • There's another guy who's collected hundreds.
  • As noted under Live Action TV, the Parrot Sketch was referenced by John Cleese at the funeral of Graham Chapman.
  • This notice displayed on cages and enclosures at the San Diego Zoo.
  • A factual book Children Are People Too from the 1980s arguing against Corporal Punishment of children observes how the English language has developed a remarkable vocabulary to cover the hitting of children, listing synonyms such as smacking, spanking, slapping, cuffing, switching, slippering, "six of the best", among others.


And Pedro

Jon Mox presents a longer list of erection euphemisms than Ms. Davis was expecting.

How well does it match the trope?

4.8 (5 votes)

Example of:

Main / HurricaneOfEuphemisms

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