- Halloween: A patient returns home and celebrates a holiday.
- Halloween II: A young man wants to reunite with his long-lost sister. His closest thing to a father figure doesn't support him.
- Halloween III: Season of the Witch: A sleazy alcoholic antagonizes a jovial Irishman who just wants to share his cultural traditions with the children of America. The young man from the former two movies cameos on a TV.
- Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers: A man wakes up from coma and tries to reunite with his niece.
- Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers: A multiple assassination attempt survivor continues his lifework. His doctor disapproves.
- Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers: Said doctor discovers one of his friends was a bad influence in the man's family.
- Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later: Man crosses half the country to spend a holiday with a long-lost, supposedly dead sister.
- Halloween: Resurrection: After finally meeting his sister again, man joins reality show.
- Halloween (2018): A patient decides to return home after 40 years to celebrate a holiday.
- Halloween Kills: Firemen discover that certain holiday jobs are better left unanswered.
- Halloween Ends: A patient makes a friend while preparing to return home for more holiday celebrations.
- Hancock: Jerkass superhero gets a PR man.
- The Hand That Rocks the Cradle: Attack of the killer nanny.
- The Hangover: A group of friends go out for a night on the town and wake up not remembering a thing. You see more of the latter than the former.
- Happy Death Day: Alpha Bitch rethinks her life choices as she's being repeatedly evicted by her roommate.
- Happy Death Day 2U: Reformed bitch helps some nerds operate a machine so she can get her boyfriend back.
- Happy Feet: Several layers of social commentary, wrapped in a 'first contact' subtext, taped with religious and mythic connotations, and directed by George Miller, to boot. Oh, and there's tap-dancing. In Antarctica.
- Or, Footloose with penguins.
- Happy Gilmore: Billy Madison plays golf so his grandmother doesn't have to live with Derek Zoolander.
- Happy-Go-Lucky: A schoolteacher takes driving classes and has a social life.
- Happy Together: Two gay Chinese guys get stuck in Argentina and argue a lot.
- A Hard Day's Night: A pop band and a grandfather spend time in a train and a room, and a car and a room, and a room and a room. They all then get chased by the police and perform a concert.
- Help!: A drummer from a pop band gets on the wrong side of an Indian death cult and a Mad Scientist with funding issues because of a new ring.
- A boy band goes on a tour around the world.
- Yellow Submarine: Mean people invade an idyllic land and are defeated by The Power of Rock.
- An old man, author, and four musicians have psychedelic adventures and fight mean people.
- Magical Mystery Tour: Assisted by a group of magicians who live in the clouds, a bus tour becomes much more exciting.
- Let It Be: A band tries to revive its team spirit, only to make things worse.
- Give My Regards to Broad Street: In a dream, a musical genius must recover a lost master tape. His sanity may be on the line.
- Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band: The Bee Gees steal a bunch of musical instruments from Aerosmith's hired goons, and it's almost a downer ending until the weather vane comes to life. For most, as bad as it sounds.
- Help!: A drummer from a pop band gets on the wrong side of an Indian death cult and a Mad Scientist with funding issues because of a new ring.
- The Hamiltons: It's just like Party of Five, except they're cannibalistic serial killers.
- Harold and Maude: A young man fascinated with death meets an elderly woman who believes in living to the fullest.
- Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle: Two stoners have difficulty finding their favorite restaurant.
- Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay: Two stoners are mistaken for terrorists. Neil Patrick Harris ensues.
- A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas: Two stoners try to find a Christmas tree on Christmas Eve.
- Harriet the Spy: Dawn Summers writes things in a notebook.
- Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone: A boy discovers he has a talent and goes to a school for his talent, where the teachers, as in real life, are either good or bad.
- Alternate: Orphan discovers his parents enrolled him in boarding school before they died. He kills one of his teachers and doesn't want to go home for the summer. He's the hero.
- Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: The boy keeps seeing a midget and has to stop a snake.
- Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: The boy reunites with his godfather and has weird encounters with cloaked people.
- A man breaks out of prison to kill a rat.
- Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: The boy illegally enters a competition and fights a bald guy.
- Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: The boy's school is taken over by a baddie. Climactic scene has people fighting over a glass ball.
- Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: The boy is stalking one of the teachers and trying to get laid.
- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part One: The boy and his two friends look for and then carry a necklace around.
- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part Two: The boy and his friends rob a bank and nearly destroy his school.
- Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them:
- An immigrant loses track of his suitcase. Hilarity Ensues.
- A shy and good natured man who loves animals gets sent across an ocean to try to stop his former teacher's ex husband from getting his hands on a Tyke Bomb before it's too late.
- Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald:
- The immigrant goes to Gay Paree and comes across some familiar faces.
- The teacher tries to get the animal loving man to go to Paris to fight his ex husband but he only agrees to go to see his crush and clear up a misunderstanding between them.
- Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore:
- The immigrant is brought in to stop an election fraud plot.
- The teacher and his ex husband briefly reunite for a date in a restaurant that goes badly. When the teacher suggest they destroy their magical wedding ring, the ex husband unsuccessfully sends his long lost nephew (the Tyke Bomb) to try to kill him.
- The Hateful Eight: A bunch of people stop at a hotel. One man deduces something's up because of chairs, jelly beans, and an apparent lack of racism. They all kill each other.
- The Haunted Mansion (2003): A workaholic and his kids try to stop a creepy butler from making the workaholic's wife marry a ghost. It's based on a theme park ride.
- Hausu: A girl invites her friends to visit her grandma at her vacation home. They find a cat along the way. Then everything goes to hell.
- Heat: Two workaholics find themselves in direct competition as each aims to completely screw up the other's plans, as all the while their personal lives implode spectacularly. The highlight of the movie is a scene in which the two meet for the first time, have a friendly coffee and pleasantly and calmly discuss why exactly they're trying to screw each other over.
- Heathers: A popular girl falls for a bad boy as they plan to blow up their school. Hijinks ensue.
- Heavy Metal: A very horny evil ball monologues to the girl it's about to kill. Features lots of sex, including with robots, and aliens doing coke.
- Heavyweights: Fat Camp: The Movie.
- Hedwig and the Angry Inch: A transsexual rock musician stalks her ex-boyfriend in an attempt to sue him for copyright infringement.
- Heisei Rider vs. Showa Rider: Kamen Rider Taisen feat. Super Sentai: Old men in bug suits fight young men in bug suits. Train-themed heroes get dragged into this mess.
- Hellboy (2004): Man defies his main purpose in life.
- Hellboy II: The Golden Army: Elven attempt at saving the Earth from those foolish humans meets demonic resistance. The demon is the good guy.
- Or: The scattered members of a once powerful, noble, ancient magical race have a family reunion in an American sewer and immediately start to quarrel over the remote control.
- Hellraiser: A man recovering from a terminal illness has an affair with his brother's wife. Later, his niece plays with a Rubik's cube and hangs out with some kinky goths.
- Hellbound: Hellraiser II: The in-law from that affair starts to date the niece's doctor. This leads the niece to crash the goths' home seeking a mute girl who plays with a Rubik's cube.
- Help! I'm a Fish: Three kids get turned into fish due to an Absent-Minded Professor being concerned with the environment. Hilarity doesn't ensue, as another fish goes on an ego trip, and tries to become king of the sea. The fish sounds like Alan Rickman.
- Alternatively: Three kids turn into sea creatures because an Absent-Minded Professor is worried about the environment. Soon, they discover that the antidote that was supposed to make them human again gave some fish intelligence. Oh yeah, and Alan Rickman's in it.
- Henry Poole Is Here: The struggles of a California man with an inconvenient spot on his wall.
- Hercules: A blue dude kick his nephew off of a mountain in order to kick his brother off of the mountain eighteen years later. It does not work.
- Alternatively: Superman meets Rocky IN ANCIENT GREECE!
- Alternatively, what if an ancient Greek hero was like Michael Jordan.
- Hereditary: The devil seemingly wants a cooties-free body.
- Hero (2002): A guy tells the king a story. The king says he's lying. The guy admits it. In the meantime, sword-fighters slay all laws of physics.
- Hidden Figures: Technological breakthroughs are stymied by inadequate restroom facilities until the computers revolt.
- The Hidden Fortress: Some people in shorts go travelling through the Japanese countryside.
- High Fidelity: A self-absorbed, broke music store owner is dumped by his lawyer girlfriend, and is bitter about it. Gets over it by hanging out with his employees and sleeping with one of the Cosby children. Later goes into business with teenagers who once tried to rob him.
- High Noon: We have to watch Gary Cooper's every move for over an hour. The rest of the town tries to get him to just go away. Most people seem dissatisfied with his choices, including himself. At one point there's a heated debate in which everyone decides not to do anything.
- High Plains Drifter: Mysterious stranger takes a bath and paints the town red.
- Alternately: A man begins his reign of terror over a town by raping a woman. He's the hero.
- Highlander: Super-centenarian travels to New York to claim a prize.
- His Girl Friday: Editor attempts to persuade retiring journalist to cover execution by repeatedly framing insurance agent for minor misdemeanors.
- History of the World Part I: One man is a king, a prophet, a philosopher, a pissboy, and torturer with a musical number that nobody expects.
- Hitch: Jim West gives advice to the Zookeeper and is allergic to shellfish.
- The Hitcher: Young man picks up a hitchhiker, whom he kicks out after a tiff; the guy keeps giving him presents and a waitress does some serious stretching.
- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005): The world ends, everyone dies. When the world is restarted at the end of the movie, the hero is offered the chance to adjust the world, making the world have more or less of anything. He decides not to interfere, and he goes traveling instead. This is supposed to be a comedy.
- Hive Mind (2009): A film consisting entirely of a guy sitting around in a basement while talking to his imaginary friend and looking at naked women.
- The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: Small man roped into a travel steals a piece of jewelry from a man with multiple personality disorder.
- The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug: Small people attempt to steal from a rich guy. Rich guy is not happy.
- The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies: The rich guy dies, bringing lots of people to join the small people at his former house. The negotations on how to split the plunder get violent.
- Hobo with a Shotgun: Vagrant acquires a smoothbore firearm.
- Holes: A boy is accused of stealing shoes even though he didn't. He's sent to a desert to dig holes as punishment.
- Home (2015): A race of aliens conquer the entirety of planet Earth within 24 hours, before one of them accidentally dooms the entire planet by sending the wrong person a party invitation.
- Home Alone: Family comedy about a young child who is abandoned by his family and robbed in his own home. On Christmas Eve.
- Home Alone 2: Lost in New York: Family comedy about a young child inflicting incredibly graphic and brutal torture on two comic bunglers. Still on Christmas Eve.
- Home Alone 3: Family comedy about a young child with chicken pox. Not the same one as in the previous two films but this one is aided by a parrot and a mouse. Not on Christmas Eve.
- Honey, I Shrunk the Kids: Kids discover how dangerous the garden of their house is.
- Honey, I Blew Up the Kid: Absent-Minded Professor gets worried about his youngest son's growth.
- Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves: Absent-Minded Professor and wife try communicating with their son.
- Hoodwinked!: According to this movie, that fairy tale you liked as a kid is wrong and incomplete, and doesn't even show the real villain.
- Hook: The leader of a group of Child Soldiers returns a changed person. A sword fight pits two crossdressers against one another.
- Horrible Bosses: Three friends plot to murder their employers... and it's a comedy.
- The Host (2006): Dysfunctional family band together to save youngest member from giant lungfish that may or may not be carrying SARS.
- Hot Fuzz: Model one-man British police force gets transferred from his crime-infested city to a town where nothing bad ever happens. His partner, a fat guy who loves Buddy Cop Shows, wants to make his life exciting again. Lots of Ho Yay ensues.
- Police officer ruins village inspection.
- Hotel Transylvania: Dad doesn't want his daughter to date an ordinary guy.
- Hotel Transylvania 2: Dad doesn't want his grandson to be an ordinary kid.
- Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation: Dad falls for a woman who is against everyone who isn't ordinary.
- Hotel Transylvania: Transformania: Dad doesn't want to be an ordinary guy, or his son in-law to stop being ordinary.
- House on Haunted Hill (1959): Dysfunctional couple try to resolve their problems with a house party.
- The 1999 version: Rightful tenants of a comfy, spacious house hang around until a bunch of greedy people arrive to pester them.
- How the Grinch Stole Christmas!: Ace Ventura doesn't like Christmas or razors.
- The Grinch (2018): Sherlock doesn't like Christmas or his neighbors.
- How to Marry a Millionaire: Three popular actresses plot a get-rich-quick scheme by vainly chasing men around New York City. A TV series, which is actually worse than this, is known to exist, but only because the girl who replaced the most popular of three said actresses is a genie.
- The Howling (1981): Woman is romantically pursued by supernatural stalker named Edward. Based on the popular novel of the same name.
- How to Train Your Dragon: Scrawny young teen stops a seven-generation long war and impresses his dad by eating a raw fish that his best friend spit back up. Cuteness ensues.
- Alternate: Pretty girl ignores nerd until he gets a new ride.
- Alternate alternate: Boy tries to follow his father's footsteps in pest control, but realizes his true calling is animal husbandry.
- How to Train Your Dragon 2: Scrawny young man is surprised to find common ground with a long-lost relative, then tries (and fails) to reason with a homicidal maniac.
- How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World: Scrawny young man gives up on his dreams for love and a badass beard.
- The Hudsucker Proxy: After industrialist commits suicide, board of directors appoint naive mail-room clerk to position of CEO, whereupon he promptly invents the hula-hoop.
- Hugo: A squatter's broken toy leads an old man to confront his past.
- The Hunchback of Notre Dame: A government official tries to rape Demi Moore and emotionally abuses a handicapped man who talks to architecture. It's a musical.
- Hunger: A member of Parliament starves to death. Meanwhile, prison guards clean up lots of bodily fluids.
- The Hunger Games: Girl gets stuck in some woods, and tries to leave them with her neighbor.
- The Hunger Games: Catching Fire: The girl and her neighbor are sent to a beach.
- The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1: The girl hides in an underground cave while waiting for her neighbor to return from the big city.
- The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2: The girl and her neighbor go to said big city, and are not well received.
- The Hunt for Red October: A newly widowered Lithuanian fisherman takes revenge by stealing something that does not belong to him, and the ensuing manhunt is complicated by some loud-mouthed, vulgar foreigners who want what he stole, as well as their constant in-fighting. It was meant to be topical and relevant, but it became less so during pre-production due to unforeseen changes in circumstance. Still did well due to high production values and over-the-top acting.
- The Hurt Locker: Two guys have to put up with a new co-worker who enjoys their job a little too much. Explosive levels of angst ensue.
- Hustle & Flow: Pimp loves his girls, raps about beating them.