Sometimes titles just don't work. They're too short, too long, too vague, or just plain wrong. So we are glad those aren't the titles for certain tropes.
Dun dun dadaldadalduun!
...if they were?
This is where we think of the worst possible titles for existing tropes.
Compare Laconic Wiki, Renamed Tropes, I Thought It Meant (lousy definitions for trope titles).
Artifact Title is much snappier than The Title Used To Make Sense, And Then The Series Changed In A Way That Doesn't Fit With The Title, But We're Sticking With That Name Anyway For The Sake Of Familiarity.
Artistic License is really a much nicer way of saying Making It Realistic Would Have Made It Boring, So The Writer/Director Made It Unrealistic So It Would Be Entertaining And People Would Watch It.
It's called Ascended Glitch because We Didn't Mean To Do This, But The Fans Liked It So We Kept It In is a little too honest.
It's called Ass Kicks You because Butt Butt would have been too much of a pun, even for this site.
It's called Ass Pull because it describes more payloads than Deus Excreta, which in turn would be confused with "Deus ex Creta", which literally translates to "god from Crete".
Author Filibuster sounded a little better than For Some Reason, The Writer Thinks You Give Two Shits What His Opinion On Anything Is.
Better Than It Sounds is called that because Making Good Fiction Seem Like Crap And Making You Guess Which Fiction It Is is a lot to type.
And also because Adventure Ho is too specific to one show.
They call it Big "NO!" because nobody can remember just how many letters are in NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Ditto with the other Big tropes:
Big "YES!" (YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!),
It's called the Chewbacca Defense because Total Bullshit Argument would just be rude. Plus, it would most likely turn into a Pothole Magnet for complaining.
Cluster F-Bomb is generally easier to remember than Fucking Fuckheaded Show That Fucking Likes To Fucking Use The Fucking Word "Fuck" All The Fucking Time, and you couldn't use it in polite company. Also, it's punnier.
Complaining About Shows You Don't Like is a long title, but Presenting Subjective Opinions Of Things You Dont Like As Objective Fact In A Way That Will Just Start An Argument is even longer.
Remember That Scene In That Disney Movie Where The Chick Sings And Animals Come Out To Join Her? Well Look We're Parodying That! Aren't We Clever? is a little too cheeky for its own good. Disney Creatures of the Farce works a lot better.
Fan Hater is a fairly precise, short and to the point name. It serves the purpose much better than I Can't Believe Anyone Actually Likes This Heap Of Shit. It's The Worst Thing In The World, And If You Like It, You're An Absolute Tool Who Has No Taste And You're Not Worth Any Time, Effort, Love, Pity Or Emotion, So Why Don't You Just Go Away And Die?
We call it Fetish Fuel because we couldn't exactly call it Stuff That Is Not Porn But We Still Get Off On.
Finger Gun could've been called Finger Bang, until it became a repetitious chorus in a South Park song.
Hollywood Tourette's was used instead of Tourettes Fucking Cunt Shit On My Asshole Syndrome, Tourette's Shitcock Syndrome or Tourettes Isn't Just About Swearing, You Idiots.
It's called Hype Aversion because You Should Avoid This Like A Plague Or Else You'll Turn Into A Mindless, Drooling Dipshit Like The Masses Who Watch This Shallow, Piece-Of-Shit Show For A Fad With Its Over-Inflated Hype Clogging Up The Networks Like The Hardened Fat In The Arteries Of The Pathetic, Lifeless Losers Who Watch It, aside from just being plain cruel, would make you run out of breath saying it.
It's called I Am Not Shazam because that's a somewhat less confrontational title than That's The Name Of The Work, Not The Name Of The Character, You Stupid Idiot.
Idiot Ball has a ring to it. Characters Acting Like Idiots Because The Writers Could Not Think Of A Plausible Reason To Have The Plot Happen Otherwise doesn't.
And accurate as Things Which Don't Ultimately Matter Or Warrant Anger But Which Nerds Get Way Too Hostile About Anyway is, it is potentially offensive or alienating to TV Tropes' readership, an audience consisting largely of said nerds.
It's called Laconic Wiki because Describe This Trope In As Few Words As You Can Without Making It Sound Either Really Stupid Or Just Like Some Other Trope. Oh, You Should Try To Make It Only One Sentence, Too. Thanks. would have been a long title and therefore counterproductive.
And using that title would mean we'd need a redirect to it from Yeah, I Know The Song Sounds Like A Dirge, But If You Listen To The Lyrics, You'll Realize That It's About Something Quite Nice because the trope works both ways.
Marry Them All is probably a better name than Threesomes Solve Everything.
May-December Romance is a good, short title. Its alternate title, Wait, He's How Old? And She's Only A Fucking Teenager? That. Is. Just. WRONG! isn't, and is judgmental as hell, to boot. (Not to mention we'd need redirects for all the various possible gender permutations.)
And This Is What I Saw Clowns As In My Childhood would be somewhat offensive to some people.
Mooks could have been called Those Nameless Guys That Are There For The Heroes To Beat Easily.
It's called More Popular Spin-off because Did You Know That This Show Is Actually A Spinoff? is too long a title.
Most Fanfic Writers Are Girls is called that because nobody had the foresight to call it Oh, Christ, Why Did We Even Start This Page? And naming it Complaining About Fandoms You Don't Like because Yucky Girl Cooties has Ruined Them Forever would just start the mother of all flame wars. It's also very long.
It's called Mukokuseki because The Sort Of Art Style That Makes People from Predominantly White Countries Think All Asian Anime Characters Look White Because They're Used To White Being "Default" and Racial Minorities Being Drawn in a Way that Emphasizes How They Aren't White is a paragraph in itself.
And Cauc Asian was too punny.
It's called Narm because Totally Fucking Up A Dramatic Moment is a bit much to type.
Nightmare Fuel has a better ring than How Bad Does Horror Have To Be That We Need A Trope Page For When It Actually Works.
It's called Primal Scene, because it isn't as loaded as Oh My God I Walked Into A Room Where My Parents Were Fucking.
Public Domain Soundtrack is a better title than Legal Copybait Soundtrack since there are songs that don't belong to public domain but still can be distributed freely.
Quieter Than Silence is shorter than True Silence Is Indistinguishable From The Speakers Not Working.
We ended up going with Rambling Old Man Monologue because its a little bit more concise than the title we wanted to use, which was Stories Old Men Tell To Youngsters Which Don't Really Go Anywhere But For Some Reason Nobody Interrupts. Why I Remember One Of These Stories... Boy It Was A Doozy... It Started When My Uncle Sammy, Or Sambo As We Used To Call Him, But You Can't Call Him That Anymore Because Of Those Damn PC Police... Anyway Sambo Was Riding A Chicken Down To The General Store Because Our Horse Was Laid Up With The Flu...
Reality Ensues is a little more polite and way shorter than They May Use This Trope a Million Times in Fiction, But This is What Would Really Happen in Real Life.
Refrain from Assuming is much better, shorter, punnier, and more polite than I Know They Repeat That Phrase A Thousand Times In The Chorus, But For The Last Time, It's Not The Name Of The Fucking Song!
Renamed Tropes gets the point across better than What The Hell Were The Tropers Smoking When Naming These Tropes!?. Besides, we don't want to wantonly accuse people of smoking.
It's called Rhyming With Itself because honestly, Instead Of Using A Word That Rhymes, They Just Repeated The Original Word takes way too much time to type out.
It's called Show with in a show because Show the characters in the show are watching with you while you watch them watch said show, thus both parties watch the aformentioned show simultaniously is WAY too long and confusing to remember, and it just sounds paradoxical.
It's called Signature Song because What Do You Mean PSY Has Songs Other Than "Gangnam Style"? is more than a little too long.
The trope is called Summer Blockbuster because it's way shorter than Immensely Budgeted Film That Throws Everything Except Special Effects Out The Window To Attract Mainstream Moviegoers And Big Money.
Suspiciously Similar Substitute is shorter and less defensive-sounding than The Old Actor Left And We Didn't Want To Pull An Other Darrin Cause That Would Be Lame, But At The Same Time, We Already Had All These Scripts Written And We Didn't Want To Have To Rewrite Them.
Take It to the Forums isn't rude, unlike This Is Not A Trope, You Dumbass, And We Have A Fucking Message Board.
It's only called Take That because Completely Unwarranted And In Some Cases Extremely Cruel Insult Directed Towards A Specific Piece Of Media (That Is Often Actually Quite Good) That Only Serves To PO Fans And Make The Insulter Look Like Nothing More Than A Petty Jerk Ass wouldn't fit.
While shorter, Fuck You Other Show, Let's Make Fun Of You! isn't very nice.
Troll is called that, partly because it's known by that term, and partly because calling it Complete Asswipe Who Likes To Start Needless Arguments On The Web And Should Die Horribly would ironically be trolling itself (although a great self demonstrating title).
We have Wild Mass Guessing because Off-The-Cuff Predictions And Obsessively Detailed Fanwank puts rather too fine a point on it.
X Makes Anything Cool would've been named Everything's Better With X, but we don't need to add to the snowclone family. Plus, it's already a redirect to the index it's a snowclone of.
It's called YKTTW Bump, because Please Don't Forget This, Everybody sounds kind of desperate.
We say YMMV because These Are Just Individual Tropers' Opinions And Your Mileage May Vary, So Don't Go Making An Assload Of Justifying Edits Just Because You Disagree With A Given Entry is not only way longer, but needlessly accusatory.
The reason Zany Scheme was chosen is that Can't You Think Of Something Easier To Solve Your Problem? is too long, and isn't a noun.
We call this site TV Tropes instead of A Reader-Maintained Database of Frequently-Seen Elements and Patterns In Many Forms of Communication because, dude, we started out by talking about stuff on TV.