Life seems to be going swimmingly for sorority socialite Elle Woods. Homecoming queen, president of Delta Nu, and girlfriend to Warner Huntington III, she has no qualms with the way her life is heading, particularly as she suspects Warner is about to pop the question. However, things take a shocking turn when Warner dumps her out of the blue instead. His reason? He's off to Harvard Law, and if he's going to be a senator by the time he's 30, he needs someone more serious—a "Jackie" instead of a "Marilyn."
Elle is devastated, but she quickly devises the perfect plan for winning Warner back—she'll get into Harvard and become a law student herself, all while dressed in pink and with her Chihuahua Bruiser by her side. While she's constantly underestimated by others because of her appearance, she's determined to prove herself to Warner, her professors, her fellow students, and even herself. Along the way, her goals and priorities gradually start to change, and she realizes that she may want more from life after all.
The musical takes a different direction from the 2001 movie. The genre disparity between the over-the-top wacky comedy (Elle's two sorority sisters, the "bend and snap" scene) and the more realistic comedy (almost everything else) is gone. "Bend and Snap" as a big dance number fits right in in a musical full of big dance numbers. Additionally, several minor characters (like Professor Stromwell and David) are dropped in exchange for elaborating on the current cast. In particular, Emmett's character is expanded upon significantly, and Elle's friendship (and eventual romance) with him becomes a much bigger part of the story. The original Broadway musical aired on MTV a month after production and managed to get nominated for several awards, winning one. Some viewers consider it an improvement over the film, while most consider it quite good as far as musical adaptations go.
This musical shows examples of:
- Academic Alpha Bitch: Vivienne, at least at first. Lampshaded by Elle, who calls her "an evil preppy" at one point.
- Adorkable: Emmett is well-liked in and out of universe for this reason.
- Adapted Out: Professor Stromwell is not featured in the musical, with her role split between Vivienne and Callahan.
- Adaptational Alternate Ending: The musical's ending is very close to the movie's, but it does have one distinct tweak. In the movie, the viewer is told that Emmett is planning to propose to Elle after the graduation ceremony. In the musical, Elle ends her valedictorian speech by pulling him up in front of the crowd and proposing herself right then and there, which he accepts. This really drives home how much Elle (who, in the beginning, was desperately waiting for a proposal and fretting over hurting her boyfriend's "pride" by seeming too obvious about it) has changed as a person over the course of the show.
- Adaptational Dumbass: In the movie, Elle decides to better herself and take law school seriously all on her own, while the musical has Emmett having to guide her through the same process step by step. She also doesn't give up on getting Warner back until after she gets the internship instead of having her epiphany at the party. Justified, as the change is meant to develop Emmett as a character more and also build a stronger foundation for Elle's eventual romance with him.
- Adaptation Expansion:
- Elle and Emmett's relationship (which is very much left in the background of the movie) gets quite a bit of this. They're shown to be studying together over around several months (during the fall semester and winter holidays), which helps to build a believable camaraderie and closeness between them. Emmett himself as a character is also much better-established with a clear backstory and motivation. He helps Elle out of friendship and a genuine desire to see her succeed and prove everyone wrong, not because he's trying to pick her up.
- Delta Nu gets this thanks to the sorority sisters (specifically Margo, Serena, and Pilar) getting more time to interact with Elle via the Greek Chorus. Kate's character is added to the Broadway version and is seen as equal to all the other sisters despite being different from them. Several sisters are also sporty, most notably Brooke Wyndham who is less high glamour and more polished, sporty entrepreneur.
- Ambiguously Gay: There's a whole number dedicated to figuring out whether the trial witness is gay, or just the sort of campy that comes along with being European. Turns out both are true!
- All for Nothing: Elle goes to extraordinary lengths to prove Brooke's innocence without revealing her secret, only for Brooke to blurt out said secret just as Elle finishes proving her innocent.
- Amicable Exes: Elle and Warner seem to be this in the finale. He attends her graduation from Harvard even though he dropped out of school himself and joins in with the final song that's all about celebrating Elle and Emmett's relationship.
- Amoral Attorney: The song "Blood in the Water" could act as a description of the trope. And when Elle rhetorically asks "Don't lawyers feel love too?" Kate replies "Even if they do..." before going into what Elle will need to do to qualify for Harvard.
- Anguished Declaration of Love: In all productions after the original Broadway one, the entirety of "Legally Blonde" takes place in the courtroom, so Elle is actually present to hear Emmett confess his love for her. In turn, this is no longer a Love Epiphany for Emmett (his line "Please will you open the door?" is changed to "I should have told you before"), but a last-ditch attempt at giving her a reason to stay. The resulting fallout (Elle clearly returns his feelings, but at that point is so broken down that she thinks it's not even worth trying to stay) changes their dynamic for the whole rest of the show.
- Arc Words: "What about love?" and many variations on it.
- Arson, Murder, and JaywalkingEmmett: Therefore, malum in se is?
Elle: An act that is evil in itself: assault, murder, white shoes after Labor Day.
- Artistic License Law: No judge would ever allow a trial to be taken outside a courtroom, let alone to the crime scene.
- Artistic License University Admissions: Elle shows up at the Harvard Law admissions office while they're looking at her application to present a huge dance number and an equally huge guilt trip until they agree to accept her.
- Bait-and-Switch Comment: During "Chip On My Shoulder", there's this exchange:
- Emmett: I predict you will probably pass—
Emmett: In the bottom percent of your class.
- The Beard: Brooke was unknowingly this to her poolboy, who claimed to be her lover to hide the fact that he was gay.
- Better Than Sex:Seeing my name in black and whiteis like making love with you all nightno wait, it's so much better, hello much betterso-oh-oh-OH-OH! Much better
- Berserk Button: Do not insult Gloria Steinem in front of Enid.
- Big Bad Ensemble: Callahan, who almost ruins Elle's attempt to be an attorney, and Chutney Wyndham, the real culprit behind the Wyndham murder.
- Book-Ends: The show begins and ends with everyone celebrating Elle's engagement, but the context of the two scenes is extremely different. In the beginning, her engagement to Warner is considered a sure thing but hasn't technically happened yet; it turns out he's breaking up with her instead of proposing, which comes as a total shock to everyone. At the end, the engagement really happens...but she's engaged to Emmett instead, and Elle's the one who does the proposing in the first place, which ALSO shocks everyone, but in a much happier way. The songs even sync up!
- Brainless Beauty:
- Elle is assumed to be this, but she averts it excellently.
- Warner leans a little closer to this trope by comparison, but downplayed in his case.
- Margot plays this to a T, and it's hilarious.Serena: I don't even think [Warner]'s that hot!Margot: I do!Serena: Well, you're a slut!
- Brainy Brunette: Played straight with Vivienne. Elle attempts to invoke this by going to the Hair Affair, only to be talked out of it by Paulette.
- Broken Bird: Paulette.
- Butch Lesbian: Enid is lesbian and most definitely non-girly, with an aggressive demeanor and a fashion sense that Elle describes as "fatigue chic".
- Camp Gay: Carlos, and his boyfriend, Nikos. There's a whole musical number dedicated to it.
- Check, Please!: At the end of "Serious".
- The Cheerleader: Reconstructed. Serena confirms that cheerleaders get guys by exposing themselves, but then shows how it can be a way to female empowerment, and teaches other girls to believe in themselves. Also, she's not the most promiscuous Delta Nu, to the extent she can call Margot a slut with total impunity.
- Composite Character:
- Vivienne, in that she takes over Professor Stromwell's role in getting Elle back to law school.
- Callahan takes over for Stromwell, as it's his class that Elle is kicked out of for being unprepared.
- Confusion Fu: Emmet proves that Nikos is gay by asking several questions about him and the case before asking his boyfriend's name, catching him off guard.
- Cool Big Sis: Paulette is this for Elle.
- Courtroom Antics: In order to catch Chutney in her lie, Elle asks the entire court to move to the bathroom where Chutney was allegedly showering when her father was killed. And they do.
- Deadpan Snarker: Warner, Vivienne, Emmet and Callahan. Paulette occasionally slips into it too.Elle: The Bend and Snap is 99.99% effective on straight men!
Paulette: [with fake enthusiasm] Yeah, and I've got a great track record with those!
- Devil's Advocate: Invoked by Callahan in "There! Right There!" with Vivienne and Enid joining in. Callahan ends up playing both sides of the argument.
- Didn't Think This Through: So, Elle, you've gotten into Harvard Law—except that not only has Warner not taken you back, he's dating someone else. Plus you're seriously behind in reading for your classes. Now what? (Even before this, when Elle ecstatically plans to get into Harvard and immediately skips ahead to planning the wedding, one of her more academic friends pipes up with "Now can we think this through???" and points out everything Elle will need to do to succeed.)
- Disproportionate Retribution: Okay, Chutney, we get how awkward and creepy it must be to have a stepmom young enough to be your sister, but does that really warrant murder!?
- Distracted by the Sexy:
- The whole point of the "bend and snap." Elle and the Greek Chorus are impressed by Paulette's naturally excellent "bend and snap," and teach her how to use it to get Kyle's attention. Elle weaponizes it later, when she realizes the witness might be gay, which would make his story about having an affair with Brooke perjury. First, she tries it on said witness, and he doesn't bat an eyelid. Then, she tries it in the courtroom—and the head of every other guy (and Enid) all whip around to look.
- During "Whipped Into Shape," Enid gets distracted by Brooke's DVD. Understandable, since she's in a sports bra and workout clothes and is doing a vigorous, bouncy dance routine.
- It's a little subtle and often missed by viewers the first time around, but this is part of Emmett's strategy during his questioning of Nikos, at least in the Broadway version. He lifts his jacket higher and puts a little saunter into his step as he walks past...and Nikos's gaze goes down to his butt. It distracts him enough that he honestly answers the question about his boyfriend's name without realizing it.
- Doting Parent: Both of Elle's. Though they are at first reluctant to pay her way through law school, when they find out how determined she is to get Warner back, they agree. Later, they show up at her trial, beaming with pride.
- Double Standard: Abuse, Female on Male: Minor example, at least in the MTV broadcast; Vivienne slaps Warner during "There! Right There!" when he says his line, "depending on the time of day, the French go either way."
- Drill Sergeant Nasty: Brooke to her clients in "Whipped Into Shape."
- Ear Ache: The witness is dragged by his ear in "There! Right There!"
- Establishing Character Moment:
- Elle gets hers during "Omigod You Guys!" when she sees right through a department store saleswoman's attempt to sell her an old, out-of-style dress at full price. This sets up the dynamic of her often being underestimated by others because of her appearance, only to reveal that she's much smarter than she looks at first glance.Elle: "It may be perfect for a blonde... but I'm not that blonde."
- Emmett being the only person at Harvard to even attempt to be nice to Elle.
- Vivienne playing the "costume party" trick on Elle. Until then, their rivalry had been somewhat understated and most of the issues were based on circumstance, but here she crosses the line into a deliberate petty act with no purpose other than to embarrass Elle.
- In the opposite direction, a late one comes when Vivienne makes a toast to Elle after "Gay or European". She may have moments of being the Alpha Bitch, but here we see that she's willing to be gracious and give Elle the credit she deserves despite their dubious history up to that point.
- Elle gets hers during "Omigod You Guys!" when she sees right through a department store saleswoman's attempt to sell her an old, out-of-style dress at full price. This sets up the dynamic of her often being underestimated by others because of her appearance, only to reveal that she's much smarter than she looks at first glance.
- Europeans Are Kinky: Discussed Trope in the number "Gay Or European" when it comes to Nikos Argitacos.
- Even Evil Has Standards: Callahan, who in his first scene encouraged a student to defend a hypothetical scumbag by putting an elderly woman on the stand and insisting she's senile, and later sexually assaults Elle, has this to say when Elle tells him Nikos must be gay:Callahan: "You know if you're wrong, we look desperate and homophobic!"
- Alternatively, this could just be him worrying that it could cost him the case and potentially even hurt his/the firm's reputation on a larger scale.
- The Exit Is That Way: Subversion. She knows she is walking into a closet to make a dramatic costume change.
- False Dichotomy: Callahan assumes that Nikos is either gay or European. He's both.
- Foreshadowing: In his first appearence, Callahan makes a crack about Enid's sexuality, flustering her. While he has a point about not letting your emotions compromise your argument, making such a joke about a student, particularly in front of the whole class is just not okay. So maybe we shouldn't be surprised when he turns out to be a Jerk with a Heart of Jerk. Turns out, he has a habit of overstepping his bounds with students.
- Genki Girl: Elle, her Sorority Sisters and Brooke.
- Greek Chorus: Elle's sorority sisters from UCLA. Made even better because they're a Greek Chorus!
- HA HA HA No: Inverted.Serena: Paulette, do you know why cheerleaders always get the guy and keep the guy?
Paulette: Because you jump around and show your panties?
Serena: HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHA—YES! But also because we command and demand attention.
- He Cleans Up Nicely: Elle harnesses this power during "Take It Like a Man" to try to help the handsomely scruffy Emmett impress his boss before the trial. He sees himself in the mirror and promptly shocks himself! Even the still-Alpha Bitch Vivienne has to chalk one up to Elle when she sees him at the court house, and his boss is sufficiently impressed as well.
- He's Got Legs: Kyle. How the UPS allowed him to get away with shorts that short is anyone's guess.
- "I Am Becoming" Song: "So Much Better."
- "I Am" Song:
- "Chip on my Shoulder" is this for Emmett, at least at the start.
- "Legally Blonde" and "Legally Blonde: Remix" are late examples of this for Elle. The first is a defeated "I'm meant for nothing more than just looking pretty and smiling," while the remix is a triumphant "No, I am more than that and I do belong here."
- "I Am Great!" Song: "The Harvard Variations" for Aaron in particular.
- Irony: Warner breaks up with Elle because he perceives her as a Dumb Blonde and thinks that he needs to date someone smarter and more serious to accomplish his goals in life. At the end of the musical, it turns out that Elle is actually the smarter of the two. She ends up as the valedictorian of her class at Harvard while Warner drops out of law school entirely and starts a career as a model instead.
- It's a Costume Party, I Swear!: As in the movie, Vivian pulls this one on Elle, who arrives at a casual party in a Playboy Bunny costume. When Vivian calls Elle a skank, Elle recovers by taking someone's glasses and insisting she is dressed as an undercover Gloria Steinem and asks Vivian, loudly, if she is calling Gloria Steinem a skank. A horde of feminists descend upon Vivian as Elle exits.
- "I Want" Song: There are several of these. "What You Want" is the obvious one, but "Serious" (for Warner) and "Chip On My Shoulder" (for Emmett) also qualify.
- Jerk with a Heart of Jerk: Callahan. He starts off as a cold, condescending, ruthless Amoral Attorney, but when Elle manages to turn the case around, he acts warmly towards her, praising her and defending her from Warner. And then, almost immediately after, he makes a move on Elle, and when she rejects him, he fires her, sending her into a Heroic BSoD.
- Lady Drunk: Elle's mom.
- Let Me Get This Straight...: Emmett is—in succession—confused, astonished and more than a little annoyed that Elle got into Harvard Law simply to try and win back her old boyfriend. Particularly since she isn't taking full advantage of this opportunity that less privileged students would kill for.
- Meaningful Echo:
- "If there ever was a perfect couple, this one qualifies." In fact, you could say that the last 20 seconds of "Finale" serves as a meaningful echo in its entirety, considering that it's basically identical to the ending of "Omigod You Guys." The overall context has just changed quite a bit in the space between the two songs.
- "We girls have to stick together." Elle says this after Vivienne gets her kicked out of class, only to be met with scorn. Vivienne later says it back to her when she shows up at the salon to inspire Elle to return to the courtroom.
- Meaningful Name: Emmett Forrest, the romantic counterpart of Elle Woods.
- Metaphorgotten: From "Ireland (Reprise)":Paulette: The Irish fear nothing and no one
They keep fightin' 'til everyone's dead
I'm not sure where this metaphor's goin'
I just felt like it had to be said
- Mistaken for Gay: Subverted with Nikos.
- Mr. Fanservice:
- Kyle. "The new UPS guy is like walking porn!"
- Warner's status as this is lampshaded a few times. In the end, he becomes a model.
- Nikos, Brooke's poolboy. His "uniform" was a red thong and evidently nothing else and Brooke even admits that she liked to check him out while he cleaned the filters. Turns out he's gay.
- Ms. Fanservice: Elle, her sorority sisters and Brooke are the most obvious examples, although the point of the musical is to show that there's more to Elle than her looks. "Bend and Snap" shows that Paulette can be this too.
- Mood Whiplash: "So Much Better" starts off with Elle in the depths of despair, only to have her go to ecstasy in approximately one second.
- Murder by Mistake: The murder victim's daughter and killer confesses that she didn't kill her father on purpose; she wanted to kill Brooke.
- The Musical
- Musicalis InterruptusWarner: That's why I think you and I... should break up!
Elle: Oh baby I'll give you my hand, we—WHAT!?
Emmett: Elle you should know...
- As well as:
Elle: Callahan hit on me.Emmett: ...he what?
Chorus: Oh my god, omigod you g—
Serena: (slams door) Guys, she's not here.
Chorus: (in unison) WHAT?!
- Mythology Gag: In the film, Harvard is portrayed by UCLA; in the musical, Elle does undergrad at UCLA.
- Never My Fault: Callahan acts as though he did nothing wrong after sexually harassing Elle and fires her in retaliation.
- Nice Guy: Emmet and Paulette.
- No Indoor Voice: Paulette has, or rather doesn't have, this.
- No Name Given: As with the movie, Callahan's first name is never revealed.
- Noodle Incident:Serena: Well, you're a slut.Margot: Look who's talking!Pilar: Three words: Spring break, Cabo!
- Oireland: Where Paulette wants to live someday.
- One True Love: Elle thinks Warner is this for her. He's not.
- The Perry Mason Method: As in the movie, Elle's cross-examination of Chutney (and her superior knowledge of haircare) leads her to break down and confess.
- Pet the Dog: Warner, as opposed to the movie. At the end of the movie, we learn graduated with no honors, no girlfriend and no job offer, whereas in the musical, he drops out of law school but becomes a successful model.
- Pizza Boy Special Delivery: Immediately after he delivers a package, Paulette describes Kyle as "walking porn." His dialog and delivery sound and look like they came straight out of a porn script.
- Proscenium Reveal: The second act begins with Brooke leading what appears to be an Irrelevant Act Opener, until the action freezes and we see that the number is actually a video that the other characters are watching.
- Race Lift: The witness at the murder trial and his boyfriend. In the film, the witness is Latin and named Enrique Salvatore, while the musical's Nikos Argitakos is ostensibly Greek. Meanwhile, in the film his boyfriend is (the presumably not Latin) Chuck but in the musical it's Carlos.
- The German version has the witness as French and named Nico Chevalier, as the gag here is whether he is gay or French. His boyfriend's name is changed to Carlo as well.
- Reflexive Response: In "There! Right There!"Emmett: So, Mr. Argitakos. This alleged affair with Ms. Wyndham has been going on for...?
Nikos: Two years.
Emmett: And your first name again is...?
Emmett: And your boyfriend's name is...?
Nikos: Carlos. (the courtroom reacts in shock/"I knew it!") Oh--no... no, I misunderstand! I thought you said best friend. Carlos is my best friend.
Carlos: (stands up in the middle of the court) YOU BASTARD!
- Refrain from Assuming: It's actually called "There! Right There!", not "Gay or European?", believe it or not. On the Cast Album anyway; the score lists it as "Gay or European?" which makes much more sense.
- Sad Clown: Paulette is something of a comic relief character, but it's clear that a lot of her humor stems from coping with her cripplingly low self-esteem.
- Satellite Love Interest: Warner for Elle, exemplified in Oh My God You Guys when Margot sings: "You're a perfect match because you both have such great taste in clothes!"
- Savvy Guy, Energetic Girl: Emmett and Elle.
- Screen-to-Stage Adaptation
- "Shaggy Dog" Story: Brooke won't reveal the details of her alibi getting liposuction, the knowledge of which she claims would kill her fitness empire resulting in a long and convoluted trial that nearly resulted in Elle returning home with her spirit crushed, and Brooke herself nearly sentenced to death for murder. At the end, when Elle proves that Chutney killed Brooke's husband, Brooke gets lost in the heat of the moment and ecstatically declares that now "no one will need to know I had lipo on my thighs!"—in front of a crowded room of people (including reporters) thus rendering the whole reason for the trial, and everything Elle did to prove her innocent, rather pointless. The Greek Chorus reassure her that they love her anyway.
- Shipper on Deck: Paulette is 100% sold on Emmett as a good match for Elle the very first time she meets him, when he brings her two-in-one shampoo (which horrifies Elle) as a Christmas gift. Later, she tells Elle that she's seen the way he looks at her, clearly not believing Elle when she insists that he's just her friend.
- Shout-Out: To The Music Man.Emmett: Class of aught-five, represent!
- Sidekick Song: "Ireland" is one big, bombastic excuse for Orfeh (or whoever's playing Paulette) to get up and show off.
- Slimeball: Callahan, Callahan, CALLAHAN.
- Smug Snake: Callahan; he's convinced that he's the only one who can pull off Brooke's trial and smugly tells her to "enjoy prison" when she fires him. In his Villain Song he talks about all the sleazy, underhanded tactics one can use to let people get away scot-free for horrid crimes.
- So Beautiful, It's a Curse: Elle's looks not only result in her professor hitting on her (and then doing his best to destroy her career when she refuses him), but also in absolutely everyone—with the exception of Emmett, but including Elle herself—assuming she's nothing more than a pretty face. The line "some girls were just meant to smile" from "Legally Blonde" is absolutely heartbreaking in this context.
- Speaks Fluent Animal: One of Elle's sorority sisters can talk to Elle's chihuahua.
- Stealth Pun:
- Stepford Smiler: Elle in the titular number, when she tries to pretend she's okay with returning to California and giving up, living a life of being what people expect her to be.Some girls fight hard, some face the trial, some girls were just meant to smile...
- Straw Feminist: Enid qualifies as one. To clarify, she (albeit jokingly) considers a man who murders a nun and runs over puppies to be a "typical man".
- Third-Act Misunderstanding: Warner sees Callahan petting Elle and assumes Elle slept her way into the internship.
- Timmy in a Well: Spoofed during the opening. Bruiser's barks are interpreted as saying that Elle is trapped in the Old Valley Mill. It's quickly revealed that he's saying the Old Valley Mall.
- Title Drop: "I don't want to see Ratty Corduroy or Legally Blonde again today."
- Title: The Adaptation: Legally Blonde: The Musical!
- Token Romance: In the best sense. Elle has kicked ass and proven herself to everyone over the course of the musical. The fact that she meets a great guy who loves her for exactly who she is is just the cherry on top.
- Training from Hell: Brooke's workout regimen, as demonstrated in "Whipped Into Shape."
- Triumphant Reprise: "Legally Blonde: Remix", sung by Vivienne of all people.
- True Companions: Elle and her Sorority Sisters. And later, Elle, Emmet, Warner, Vivienne, Enid and Paulette.
- Unkempt Beauty:
- Emmett. Paulette qualifies to a lesser degree. She's not so much unkempt as she is lacking in confidence, which leads to not paying much attention to her looks.
- Up to Eleven: The... "personal essay" portion of Elle's Harvard application. You thought that tape she used in the movie was ridiculous! Puh-shaw!
- Uptown Girl: Elle comes from a very privileged background, and her family is rich enough that when she gets into Harvard on her own merits, they're able to pay the entire cost out-of-pocket. She winds up with Emmett, who grew up in a slum and had to work two jobs in addition to his college classes just to make ends meet.
- Villain Song: "Blood in the Water."
- Voice Types: A large part of the vocal spectrum is represented:
- Elle and Brooke—Mezzo-Soprano
- Vivienne and Enid—Soprano
- Although it is worth noting that all female characters are belters.
- "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue: The story jumps forward a few years in time during the finale to Elle's graduation from Harvard, so Paulette narrates one of these to fill the audience in on what's happened to all of the main characters. Enid practices family law; Vivienne is training for the Peace Corps; Warner quits law school and enjoys a successful career as a model; Callahan ran for governor but lost and his wife left him (while also hiring Emmett to handle their divorce); and Paulette married Kyle and had two kids (with another on the way), opening a new salon. While not spelled out in the same way, it also becomes evident that Elle and Emmett have started a relationship at some point when she ends her valedictorian speech by getting down on one knee and proposing to him, which he happily accepts.
- World of Ham: If every single member of the cast is not playing this to the hilt, that cast is doing it wrong. This then makes "Legally Blonde" all the more heartwrenching, as Emmett and Elle drop all the hamminess.
- You, Get Me Coffee: Callahan does this to Warner.
- You Just Told Me: See Reflexive Response.
- You No Take Candle: Nikos and Carlos, on account of being European. Somewhat justified for Carlos because it's in song and proper English phrasing would break meter.Carlos: This man is gay and European!
And neither is disgrace.
You've got to stop
You're being a completely closet case!